All language subtitles for Little Johnny The Movie 720p BluRay x264-PFa. ENG(1)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:08,640 original uploader for this subtitle ... mr master 3 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:28,000 {\i1}who's antics have become the inspiration of joke's that are amongst the popular ever told.{\i0} 4 00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:32,000 {\i1}Little Johnny joke's have been embraced by millions.{\i0} 5 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,000 {\i1}And shared by people from countries all over the World.{\i0} 6 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,000 {\i1}What makes these joke's so enduring?{\i0} 7 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,100 {\i1}Prehaps it's because he shows the world through the eyes of a child.{\i0} 8 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,900 {\i1}And tells it like...it is{\i0} 9 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,000 {\i1}A complete and utter mess{\i0} 10 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,000 {\i1}But i bet you didn't know that Little Johnny joke's are in fact based on...{\i0} 11 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,300 {\i1}Well...fact.{\i0} 12 00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:50,010 {\i1}And here is a little gem weve dragged from the vaults.{\i0} 13 00:02:50,010 --> 00:02:54,010 {\i1}That shows Little Johnny's debut on a short lived television show.{\i0} 14 00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:06,910 All right then Boys and Girls i want each of you to tell me your favourite word 15 00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:11,010 a word you love and then use that word in a sentence...Shana 16 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:16,110 "Butterfly"...it's a beautiful word and they are my favourite insects. 17 00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:20,110 Yes indeed indeed they are fabulous aren't they. 18 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,010 And Roger...your word 19 00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:23,010 "Skylark" 20 00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:29,010 "Skylark"...It's an unusual word can you put that in a sentence for our viewers at home 21 00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:36,010 Yes...My Daddy owns a Buick "Skylark" and it's got a 322 5.3 litre nailhead V8 and... 22 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:39,910 Excellent excellent Roger you certainly know your cars 23 00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:46,010 And next we have...Johnny...Johnny what word have you got for us today? 24 00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:47,410 "Goin'" 25 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:54,310 Another unusual word Ladies and Gentlemen "Goin'"..can you put that in a sentence Little Johnny 26 00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:57,910 Yeah... Go 'en get Fucked 27 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:13,010 Well..Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen sorry about those technical glitches the joys of live television 28 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:17,220 Ha-Ha-Ha...Well now Hello Lone Ranger and where is Tonto? 29 00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:18,120 Don't know!! 30 00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:21,220 Well er...So how are you today? 31 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,220 Good 32 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:27,220 Are you married? Are there any little Ranger juniors or Rangerettes? Ha-ha-ha-ha 33 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,320 No 34 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,520 And what's your word? Your favourite word your word of the day Mr.Ranger 35 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,120 "Smee" 36 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:40,120 "Smee"..."Smee" another unusual word can you put that in a sentence for me Mr.Ranger Sir? 37 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:44,020 Yeah.."Smee" again... So you can all go and get Fucked!!! 38 00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:45,030 Why you little..... 39 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:53,030 {\i1}Of course Little Johnny wasn't always like that{\i0} 40 00:04:54,030 --> 00:04:58,030 {\i1}He was just a regular kid born in to a regular family{\i0} 41 00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:02,830 {\i1}By regular...I mean they weren't particularly well off{\i0} 42 00:05:03,230 --> 00:05:06,030 {\i1}Weren't famous went to church every Sunday{\i0} 43 00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:08,930 {\i1}And ate Dinner at the Dinner Table{\i0} 44 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:14,030 {\i1}His father..Harry sold foundation garments to house-wife's looking for support{\i0} 45 00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:19,030 {\i1}Whilst his Mother...Isabel took in ironing to earn extra money{\i0} 46 00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:26,030 {\i1}Harry bought an 8mm camera and began to film his young family{\i0} 47 00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:28,930 {\i1}And thus record a legend{\i0} 48 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,030 {\i1}The Legend of Little Johnny{\i0} 49 00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:42,130 {\i1}Now it must be said that Little Johnny's use of prefanity was not a symptom of progressed Tourettes Syndrome{\i0} 50 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:47,030 {\i1}Nor was it due to Satan as many Church going Town's Folk may of thought{\i0} 51 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,040 {\i1}It wasn't the fault of his conserative parents{\i0} 52 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:53,040 {\i1}Who dis-allowed even the slightest obsenity{\i0} 53 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,040 {\i1}Where he got it from...is any body's guess{\i0} 54 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:15,040 {\i1}This is Little Johnny's Uncle Kevin and despite his penchant for profanity{\i0} 55 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,340 {\i1}He was a well liked decent sort of fellow{\i0} 56 00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:19,140 {\i1}And Little Johnny looked up to him{\i0} 57 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:22,040 {\i1}And that's Uncle Kevin's wife..Mavis{\i0} 58 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,340 {\i1}She was tough enough to keep him in check{\i0} 59 00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:28,940 {\i1}And this is Little Johnny's Cousin Cheryl{\i0} 60 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:31,040 {\i1}She's a dad's worst nightmare{\i0} 61 00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:35,050 {\i1}As a family they treated Little Johnny as if he was there very own{\i0} 62 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:27,050 More toast dear? 63 00:07:27,150 --> 00:07:28,250 Oh i'm fine thanks 64 00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:32,050 - Come on boy's...Breakfast - Okay 65 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,050 I just don't know what were going to do with those boys! 66 00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,050 - Erm - It's the constant swearing 67 00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:39,050 We really need to put a stop to it 68 00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:41,950 I'm sorry...your going to have to punish them 69 00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:44,050 Okay..okay...leave it to me 70 00:07:45,950 --> 00:07:50,050 - Good morning Sweetie - Morning Mum...Dad 71 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:51,360 What would you like for breakfast Billy? 72 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:56,060 - Fuckin' Cornflakes please - What !!!...That's it young man 73 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,360 You've..Been..Warned..Mister 74 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:02,060 ooowwww...oooowwwww 75 00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:10,160 Ah...Good Morning Johnny...and what would you like for Breakfast? 76 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,760 - Well...Not Fuckin' Cornflakes!! - What !!! 77 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,060 Oh...Uncle kevin's here 78 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,960 About time mate i could feel myself getting old 79 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,060 - Any how...G'day - Morning Uncle Kevin 80 00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:31,760 Ha-ha..Hey mate you would of laughed this morning 81 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,060 You know that fuckin' cow with the one horn? 82 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:38,960 Well i was trying to seperate her from the calf next thing she's charging at me 83 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:43,360 I tried to jump the bloody fence got me gammy leg stuck in a bucket of feed 84 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,960 Shit's going everywhere... and i ended up face first in.... 85 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,960 Everything alright mate? 86 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,960 Yeah okay...i suppose 87 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,960 You sure? 88 00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:59,070 Well i think Mrs.Rogers is gonna fail me in arithmetic today 89 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:01,070 Fail ya!! why? 90 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:05,870 Well yesterday she asked me how much is 2 times 3 and i said 6 91 00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:07,070 Yeah...That's right!! 92 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:10,070 Then she asked me how much is 3 times 2? 93 00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:13,070 - What's the fuckin' difference? - Well that's what i said 94 00:09:18,170 --> 00:09:21,170 - See ya Uncle Kevin - Yeah see ya little mate 95 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,070 Ah..Mr.Wilson... 96 00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:27,070 Yes.... 97 00:09:27,870 --> 00:09:32,970 I have to tell you that yesterday at snack time i offered your nephew Little Johnny a cookie 98 00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:38,080 And he said "I don't fucking want one" 99 00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:44,080 Ha-ha-ha...Fair enough!! If he wants to be like that don't fuckin' give him one 100 00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:52,980 Good Morning Class Miss Thomas is away for a couple of weeks and i'm your substitute Teacher 101 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,180 My name is Miss Prussy 102 00:09:55,280 --> 00:10:00,080 A good way to remember that is to think of Pussy...But with an "R" 103 00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:03,980 {\i1}Good Morning Miss Pussy{\i0} 104 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:10,980 It is my understanding that you have been studying Geography with Miss Thomas 105 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:15,080 So today...we will be learning about North America 106 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,980 And what is your name? 107 00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:20,280 - Yes - Roger...maam 108 00:10:20,990 --> 00:10:24,190 Roger...would you like to come up and find North America 109 00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:32,090 - Erm...Here it is - Very good 110 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,090 Now class..who discovered North America? 111 00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:36,090 Little Roger!! 112 00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:43,390 No..Not exactly.... Okay... 113 00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:48,390 Maybe we could take this opportunity to learn a little about one another 114 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:52,990 Would anyone like to share a story with us? 115 00:10:53,990 --> 00:10:55,990 Yes... and your name? 116 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:59,990 Johnny Miss But everyone calls me Little Johnny 117 00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:02,490 What would you like to share with us Little Johnny? 118 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,300 I had a stuttering Cat... 119 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,300 A stuttering Cat!! 120 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,500 - There's no such thing as a stuttering Cat - Yes there is... 121 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:12,000 - I had a Kitty Cat that stuttered... - Really... 122 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:17,000 Yeah...I was playing with him the other day and a huge dog jumped the front fence and attacked us 123 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,100 Oh dear that must of been very scary 124 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:26,000 Sure was my Cat raised his back and went ffff...ffff...ffff 125 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,000 And before he could say "Fuck" the Dog ate him 126 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,000 Silence..Please Please 127 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,000 That is a terrible story and certainly nothing to laugh about 128 00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:44,210 All right...who's that laughing? 129 00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:47,810 Sorry Miss Prussy 130 00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,010 What's so funny Roger? 131 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:54,010 Well maam...I just saw...one of your suspenders 132 00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:57,010 Well i never.... 133 00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:01,010 Get out of my classroom...this instant 134 00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:03,210 i don't want to see you for the rest of the day 135 00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:07,010 a simple statement of fact arouses such hostile reaction 136 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:11,010 - Quickly please... - Mummy won't be pleased 137 00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:21,110 Who was that? 138 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,020 Name... 139 00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:28,020 Mickey...Mickey Ramone Miss hee-hee-hee 140 00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:29,920 And what's so funny? 141 00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:34,020 I just saw...both of your suspenders hee-hee-hee 142 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,020 What is wrong with you Children? 143 00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:39,920 Get out of my classroom you...horride little boy 144 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,020 I don't want to see you for an entire week!!! 145 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,020 Huh!!!... 146 00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:49,020 And where do you think your going? 147 00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:54,620 Well Miss Crunt...from what i just saw i think my school days are over 148 00:12:56,930 --> 00:13:00,030 I didn't fully understand all of it you see it was on television 149 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:04,330 and they were like puppet's... but real or was it real but like puppets? 150 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,030 Aahh...You shitting me 151 00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:54,030 Yeah...Yeah...I agree 152 00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:58,430 What's the world coming too when a boy sacrifice's his dignity for a member of the opposite sex? 153 00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:03,030 - Come on...let's go before i vomit.. - Yeah... 154 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:19,030 Erm... 155 00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:24,030 Why would yo want a fancy smancy bicycle when you can't afford a packet of bubble-gum? 156 00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:32,330 So Mary...Who's it gonna be? 157 00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:35,330 Not you Jason it's never been you 158 00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:38,240 And even when it was...it was him... 159 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:41,040 He thinks he's a big man 160 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:42,540 A Rebel... 161 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,040 But tell me Johnny what are you Rebelling against? 162 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:50,040 So...What have you got...Huh? 163 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,040 You wanna go to Harrison? 164 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,040 {\i1}Take me anywhere you want Johnny{\i0} 165 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,040 Argh...Get off me you...creep 166 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,440 Get a room!!! 167 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,140 What a riot you freakin' fairy 168 00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:26,050 What's the world coming too when your best friend get's all fruity and...and... 169 00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:30,050 Come on...forget about it you'll never be able to afford it 170 00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:33,050 Wheels like that are for the rich and not for the like's of us 171 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,250 So... 172 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:36,850 Be happy with nothing...celebrate your poverty 173 00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:41,050 Live for the humble victory's in life eat Rice like the rest of the world... 174 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,950 {\i1}Dear...Santa...{\i0} 175 00:15:46,050 --> 00:15:50,650 {\i1}You must be surpised that i'm writing to you in March{\i0} 176 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:53,050 {\i1}it being so soon after Christmas and all{\i0} 177 00:15:53,950 --> 00:16:00,850 {\i1}Well i would very much like to clear up certain things that have occured since last year..{\i0} 178 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,060 {\i1}When i wrote you my letter{\i0} 179 00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:12,060 {\i1}I asked for a Bicycle an Electric Train Set a pair of Roller-skates and a Football{\i0} 180 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:17,060 {\i1}I racked my brain studying the whole year and i did pretty good at school{\i0} 181 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:25,060 {\i1}I'm not lying to you there was no one in my entire neighbourhood that behaved better than me{\i0} 182 00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:33,260 {\i1}WHAT BALLS YOU'VE GOT LEAVING ME A FUCKING YOYO A WHISTLE AND A PAIR OF SOCKS{\i0} 183 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:36,360 {\i1}And you gave that prick Jason all the stuff i wanted{\i0} 184 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,060 {\i1}And let him brag all over school about it{\i0} 185 00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:45,060 {\i1}Don't let me see you trying to cram your big fat arse down my chimney next year{\i0} 186 00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:46,260 {\i1}I'll be waiting...{\i0} 187 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,060 {\i1}I'll mess up your stupid Reindeer and scare them away{\i0} 188 00:16:50,070 --> 00:16:53,070 {\i1}so that you have to walk back to the fucking North Pole{\i0} 189 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:58,070 {\i1} just like i have to walk to school because you didn't think i deserved that fucking bike{\i0} 190 00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:00,070 {\i1}FUCK YOU{\i0} 191 00:17:00,870 --> 00:17:05,070 {\i1}Ah...sincerly Little Johnny{\i0} 192 00:17:48,470 --> 00:17:51,270 - Morning Mum -Good Morning Darling 193 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,070 Why you rubbing that stuff on your face? 194 00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:57,070 - To make myself beautiful - Oh..okay... 195 00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:06,970 What's the matter Mum? Giving up? 196 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:11,070 {\i1}When Little Johnny wanted something badly enough he'd do anything to get it{\i0} 197 00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:16,070 {\i1}He was a born entrepreneur who was pretty damn clever when he put his mind to it {\i0} 198 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:47,080 {\i1}Johnny...What have you done with my bleeding power drill{\i0} 199 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,380 {\i1}Hello Johnny{\i0} 200 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,280 Hello Father.... 201 00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:59,080 Well you two certainly make a nice picture... 202 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,380 What's your Doggie's name? 203 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,080 I call him Porky... 204 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:07,080 Porky!!! That's an unusual name for such a cute little Doggie 205 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,080 But why do you call him Porky? 206 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,080 Because he fuck's me Uncle's Pig... 207 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:18,080 Oh...er...Well i just stopped by to see if anyone you know would like to enter our Talent Quest? 208 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,590 Here take this flyer... 209 00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:21,090 {\i1}Contest!!{\i0} 210 00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:22,290 {\i1}Money!!{\i0} 211 00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:23,190 Oh yes... 212 00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:24,390 Real money? 213 00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:26,090 {\i1}It says so at the bottom{\i0} 214 00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:28,990 Must be off...Good-day now... 215 00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:37,090 {\i1}# Everywhere that Mary went Mary went Mary went{\i0} 216 00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:43,990 # Everywhere that Mary went the Lamb was sure to go 217 00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:52,490 Wasn't she just lovely...Give her another round of applause Ladies and Gentlemen 218 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000 And now we have Little Johnny... 219 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,000 Who's going to do some impersonation's i believe 220 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:08,000 Would you give him a big hearty Gallangatta welcome 221 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,100 Little Johnny.... 222 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,100 Ahem...Ladies and Gentlemen... 223 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:37,000 My Uncle owns a farm just outta town 224 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:41,200 And nearly every weekend i..i go out there and help him 225 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:50,200 Today i would like to share with you my impression of some of the many sounds i hear on my Uncle's farm 226 00:20:52,000 --> 00:21:00,000 Ahem...Hey you kids how many times do i have to tell you get off that fucking Tractor!! 227 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,200 Thank you... 228 00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:37,010 Gimme me Bow Tie... Mum will kill me if i lose that 229 00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:38,010 Really... 230 00:21:38,010 --> 00:21:41,010 Well you had better listen up ya stupid Jarmuck 231 00:21:41,110 --> 00:21:47,010 I can't give it back...But you can...get it back if you know what i mean? 232 00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,210 Pleasure doing business with ya 233 00:22:15,010 --> 00:22:21,410 Oh yeah...If you feel like singing like a Canary remember this Cojean is coming to kick ya ass 234 00:22:40,010 --> 00:22:42,610 {\i1}But why doesn't he sell the place and get another job for goodness sake?{\i0} 235 00:22:42,810 --> 00:22:47,010 {\i1}He loves the farm he can't help that there's been a drought for 2 years{\i0} 236 00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:49,310 {\i1}You'd think the bank would understand{\i0} 237 00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:54,010 {\i1}I mean potentially the farm can earn more than than enough to pay the mortgage{\i0} 238 00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:59,020 {\i1}Hmmm...Potentially yeah....But realistically the bank's only intrested in getting there money now{\i0} 239 00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:02,020 {\i1}So Kevin better think of something or he'll loose the farm{\i0} 240 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,220 Uncle Kevin... 241 00:23:28,420 --> 00:23:29,220 Yeah mate... 242 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,020 What's the difference between potentially and realistically? 243 00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:41,020 Hmm...Okay Go inside and ask Auntie Mavis if she'd have sex with the mailman for a million bucks!! 244 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:42,820 Auntie Mavis... 245 00:23:42,820 --> 00:23:43,920 Yes Darling... 246 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,820 Would you have sex with the mailman for a million bucks? 247 00:23:47,820 --> 00:23:50,020 Yes with the way things are at the moment i guess i would 248 00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,120 She said she would Uncle Kevin 249 00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:59,030 Jesus!!...Alright then now go and ask Cousin Cheryl if she'd do the same thing 250 00:23:59,030 --> 00:24:00,130 Cheryl... 251 00:24:00,130 --> 00:24:01,930 Yeah what... 252 00:24:02,030 --> 00:24:06,030 If someone paid you a million bucks would you have sex with the mailman? 253 00:24:06,030 --> 00:24:09,230 Ahh...Duh...For a million bucks of course i would 254 00:24:10,030 --> 00:24:11,530 She said she would too 255 00:24:11,530 --> 00:24:14,230 Yeah thought so...well there you go then mate 256 00:24:14,230 --> 00:24:18,030 Potentially were sitting on 2 million bucks.. 257 00:24:18,430 --> 00:24:23,030 But realistically i'm just living with a couple of whores... 258 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:28,030 {\i1}...Pear shaped organs and connected to it at the top are the Fallopian Tubes{\i0} 259 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,040 {\i1}And the two Ovaries{\i0} 260 00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:34,040 {\i1}This is the information which you Dad should clearly understand{\i0} 261 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:39,340 {\i1}Before you can pass on correct knowledge to your child when he is old enough to understand{\i0} 262 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,440 So...there you are class 263 00:24:47,540 --> 00:24:53,040 That's what happens in sexual intercourse and that's how baby's are made... 264 00:24:54,040 --> 00:25:01,040 Now has any one got an example from nature or real life..about what we've been talking about? 265 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:03,040 Yes Roger... 266 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:09,340 Yeah yes..yes..yes..I was climbing a tree yesterday and i saw a Nest with baby birds in it 267 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:13,040 Excellent example Roger... Yes Mary... 268 00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:18,040 My Mummy had a baby last year it was my little brother Tommy 269 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:19,650 Very good Mary... 270 00:25:22,050 --> 00:25:23,250 Yes Johnny... 271 00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:28,350 I was watching the Lone Ranger on TV and he was surrounded by hundred's of Indian's 272 00:25:28,450 --> 00:25:35,050 And they all attacked at one time...and he killed every one of them with just two guns 273 00:25:35,950 --> 00:25:40,050 Well that's good Johnny...but what does it have to do with sex education? 274 00:25:40,050 --> 00:25:43,550 Well..it will teach those Indian's not to fuck with the Lone Ranger Miss 275 00:25:45,450 --> 00:25:47,350 Oh..Come in Boris 276 00:25:48,050 --> 00:25:49,150 Look everyone... 277 00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:57,050 This is very exciting...We have a new student all from Leningrad...Russia 278 00:25:57,050 --> 00:26:01,050 His name is Boris... say Good Morning Class... 279 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,060 Good Morning Boris 280 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:07,260 Now Boris...would you like to tell us a little about where your from 281 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:14,760 In Russia we have saying "wierman harleck wasses" 282 00:26:19,060 --> 00:26:20,060 "Butzeep" 283 00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:25,060 Oh!!!..Don't forget your test results... 284 00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:19,260 - Aaaawwww.... - Aaawww fuck... 285 00:27:29,060 --> 00:27:30,260 Hi Dad... Hi Mum... 286 00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:33,360 Hey...Hey...Hey... Not so fast Mister!! 287 00:27:33,460 --> 00:27:36,860 If i remember correctly you got your test results today... 288 00:27:37,060 --> 00:27:40,160 Well actually..i don't have em... 289 00:27:40,170 --> 00:27:41,370 What do you mean you don't have em!!! 290 00:27:41,470 --> 00:27:44,870 Well i did have em...But i leant em to Rog... 291 00:27:44,970 --> 00:27:47,370 - He wants to scare his parents!!! - WHAT!!! 292 00:27:47,470 --> 00:27:50,070 N..N..Nah!!..Just kidding... 293 00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:51,770 Here they are... 294 00:27:55,470 --> 00:27:58,470 Well at least there's one thing i can say that's good about Johnny... 295 00:27:58,470 --> 00:28:02,570 - Oh..What's that?... - With results like these he couldn't possibly be cheating!! 296 00:28:40,170 --> 00:28:44,970 Now children..Who'd like to come up and tell the class what they did on the weekend 297 00:28:45,670 --> 00:28:50,070 Well Miss...Me and my brother Billy went down to the creek a few times 298 00:28:50,070 --> 00:28:54,470 And what did you do at the creek may i ask...Swim? 299 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,380 Well..well our favourite thing to do is to catch Frog's Miss 300 00:28:58,380 --> 00:29:02,080 Really...And what do you do with them? 301 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,480 Well Miss what we do is stick Fire-cracker's up their arse and light them!!! 302 00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:09,180 Rectum Johnny...Rectum 303 00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:12,280 Wrecked em..Blew em to the Shit-house... 304 00:29:13,980 --> 00:29:19,080 Roger...Please tell me you did something more beneficial with your time off 305 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:24,080 Well Maam My family and i went to the beach and stayed at a camping ground 306 00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:28,380 where we met some tourist's all the way from Minneapolis..Minnesota 307 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:34,580 Minneapolis..Minnesota Can you spell that for us Roger? 308 00:29:36,580 --> 00:29:40,380 Actually Maam...i think they were from...L.A 309 00:29:42,290 --> 00:29:44,190 All right Mary... 310 00:29:44,590 --> 00:29:46,490 Miss Rogers and class 311 00:29:46,590 --> 00:29:52,290 One of the thing's i did on the weekend was go around to Jason's place and place in his sand box 312 00:29:53,090 --> 00:29:55,490 That sounds like fun...Mary 313 00:29:56,090 --> 00:30:02,490 Now if you come up to the blackboard and can spell "Sand". I'll give you a fresh baked Cookie 314 00:30:05,690 --> 00:30:08,290 Correct Here's a Cookie 315 00:30:08,690 --> 00:30:14,690 Now Jason If you can come up here and write "Box" i'll give you a Cookie too 316 00:30:18,490 --> 00:30:22,190 Now Mustafa... What did you do on the weekend? 317 00:30:22,590 --> 00:30:28,590 Well Miss one day i saw Mary going over to Jason's place and i followed her 318 00:30:28,890 --> 00:30:36,290 coz i wanted to play with them but when i got there Jason threw Rocks at me...till i went away 319 00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:40,000 Threw Rocks at you!!! 320 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:44,100 That sounds like Blatent Racial Discrimination 321 00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:53,000 Now if you can come up to the blackboard and write "Blatent Racial Discrimination" i'll give you a Cookie... 322 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,000 The letter "B" is for Benign 323 00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:15,000 Outstanding Mary..Now can anybody else tell us what Benign means 324 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,200 Johnny 325 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:23,100 Benign... Is what my brother will be after he be eight 326 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:32,200 Okay Class...we've had some fun Now it's time for a reality check 327 00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:39,100 I have marked your latest tests and apart from Mary the results were very disappointing 328 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,500 - Boris... - Da 329 00:31:42,010 --> 00:31:46,110 In the English language a Fibular is not a little lie... 330 00:31:47,210 --> 00:31:54,010 And Mickey for Science you said "H2O was Hot Water and CO2 is Cold Water" 331 00:31:54,010 --> 00:31:55,010 Incorrect... 332 00:31:55,010 --> 00:31:58,210 Errr..Maybe it was the other way around!! I can't remember... 333 00:31:58,310 --> 00:32:02,310 And for your Science question Jason you were asked"What is a Nitrate" 334 00:32:02,410 --> 00:32:06,410 And you said and i quote... "Cheaper than a day rate" 335 00:32:08,010 --> 00:32:10,410 It's not funny children... 336 00:32:11,210 --> 00:32:15,310 On this General Knowledge Question... "How do you delay milk going sour?" 337 00:32:15,410 --> 00:32:19,010 One of you said "Keep it in the Cow" 338 00:32:22,510 --> 00:32:25,210 Little Johnny...You shouldn't be laughing... 339 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,420 Math Question 5a asked... 340 00:32:27,420 --> 00:32:33,320 "If your Father earned a hundred dollars and gave half of his pay to your Mother what would she have?" 341 00:32:33,420 --> 00:32:35,620 You said "A heart-attack" 342 00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:38,320 And for being smart...you get a big fat Zero 343 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:42,320 A Zero!!! I don't think i deserve a zero Miss... 344 00:32:42,420 --> 00:32:46,220 Well i agree... But it's the lowest mark i can give you 345 00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:55,020 - Ahem... - Yes Johnny...What is it? 346 00:32:55,220 --> 00:32:58,320 I don't want to scare you Miss Pussy But just so you know... 347 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,320 Last night my Dad told me that if my grades don't start to improve 348 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,120 Somebody is going to get a spanking 349 00:33:14,030 --> 00:33:16,030 Good night Darling...sleep well 350 00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:19,230 Mummy... 351 00:33:21,230 --> 00:33:22,230 Yes Billy 352 00:33:23,030 --> 00:33:25,130 Could you sleep here with me tonight? 353 00:33:26,030 --> 00:33:28,330 I can't sweetheart i've got to sleep with Daddy 354 00:33:32,130 --> 00:33:33,530 He's a big sissy 355 00:34:06,530 --> 00:34:11,030 Mum...ccan you give me a Dollar for my money jar? 356 00:34:11,030 --> 00:34:15,030 A Dollar...I don't think so Darling... 357 00:34:15,130 --> 00:34:16,230 If you do... 358 00:34:17,030 --> 00:34:23,130 I'll tell you what Dad said to Betty from next door when she walked her dog past our place last night 359 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:29,040 Well then what did he say? 360 00:34:30,340 --> 00:34:35,040 He said "Your dog's been digging holes under our fence again" 361 00:34:52,140 --> 00:34:55,240 Hello there sonny... Would your parents be home? 362 00:34:56,140 --> 00:34:58,440 Well what the fuck do you think? 363 00:35:03,140 --> 00:35:07,140 Do yo know about our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ? 364 00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:09,040 Well i know that he lives in our Bathroom!! 365 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,240 - He what!!! - How... - why do you say that Son? 366 00:35:12,340 --> 00:35:19,240 Well every morning my Dad goes to the bathroom door knocks on it and yells Jesus Christ are you still in there!! 367 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,140 I was going to call first but i couldn't resist 368 00:35:28,340 --> 00:35:30,040 i just had to see your face... 369 00:35:30,950 --> 00:35:33,050 Aawww...Your shitting me 370 00:35:33,950 --> 00:35:36,250 If i win the race... i'll be able to get the bike 371 00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:38,050 You know what that means? 372 00:35:38,150 --> 00:35:39,350 You'll have a bike? 373 00:35:39,450 --> 00:35:43,450 It means i'll have to beat Jason... He's won it for years 374 00:35:43,550 --> 00:35:46,250 But you don't know anything about Billy-Cart's or racing... 375 00:35:46,250 --> 00:35:48,050 You'll have to do a crash course 376 00:35:48,050 --> 00:35:51,050 Yep....Without the crashing... 377 00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:55,350 Mate you can't get blood out of a stone 378 00:35:55,450 --> 00:35:57,950 I said i was gonna fucking pay ya 379 00:35:58,050 --> 00:36:06,250 I'm sure you understand Mr.Wilson that our records must be current in the relation to the value of this property and all associated assets 380 00:36:06,350 --> 00:36:08,050 Yeah fair enough 381 00:36:08,150 --> 00:36:10,250 You wouldn't mind if i take a look around 382 00:36:10,250 --> 00:36:12,350 Yeah knock yourself out mate 383 00:36:13,050 --> 00:36:18,050 Just mind that pile of tyres out the back there's another fucking snake down there!! 384 00:36:19,050 --> 00:36:22,250 Get up there...Fuck ya stupid cow... 385 00:36:22,350 --> 00:36:23,450 G'day there Uncle Kevin 386 00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:24,460 Yeah mate 387 00:36:24,460 --> 00:36:28,160 I'm just going inside to get a glass of water then i'll come and give you a hand 388 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,060 You want me to get you anything? 389 00:36:30,060 --> 00:36:32,960 No thanks mate G'day Roger 390 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:40,360 Auntie!!! 391 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,360 Johnny!!! 392 00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:43,260 What's that? 393 00:36:44,860 --> 00:36:50,060 That...That's where God touched me with the Golden Axe 394 00:36:50,260 --> 00:36:52,060 Really!!! 395 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,460 He got ya right in the Cunt!! 396 00:37:03,870 --> 00:37:04,870 Thank you 397 00:37:06,070 --> 00:37:09,770 I'm sorry Auntie Mavis but don't be embarassed 398 00:37:09,870 --> 00:37:14,370 I saw Grandma's pussy one day too when i was staying over 399 00:37:15,370 --> 00:37:19,570 I think her's was dead...the tongue was hanging out 400 00:37:22,470 --> 00:37:26,170 According to our records your listed as having two toilets!! 401 00:37:26,170 --> 00:37:29,370 But you only seem to have one in side 402 00:37:29,470 --> 00:37:32,370 Yeah but what about the Thunder-box out the back? 403 00:37:32,370 --> 00:37:35,170 What!!...I'd hardly call that a toilet 404 00:37:35,270 --> 00:37:40,370 It's a collection of rusty Corrugated Iron with a plank of wood with a hole in it over a rusty bucket!! 405 00:37:40,370 --> 00:37:43,070 There's not even a lock on the door 406 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:50,280 Mate i've been out here for years now no bastard's ever knocked off a bucket of shit the whole time i've been here 407 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:56,180 I think i've seen enough... I trust i'll see you in our branch on the 17th as agreed 408 00:37:56,180 --> 00:37:58,280 Yeah yeah..right oh 409 00:38:04,180 --> 00:38:05,180 Oh Uncle Kevin... 410 00:38:05,180 --> 00:38:08,380 Uuhh...Oh What is it mate? 411 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:13,080 Uncle Kev do you know anything about Billy-Cart's? 412 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,280 I know a little bit about em... 413 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,380 Yes i have had immortal thoughts about her Father... 414 00:38:31,380 --> 00:38:33,180 {\i1}Immoral you say!!!{\i0} 415 00:38:33,180 --> 00:38:36,180 {\i1}So who is this person?{\i0} 416 00:38:37,090 --> 00:38:40,090 {\i1}Could it be the Suzie Fitz-Simmons lass?{\i0} 417 00:38:40,090 --> 00:38:42,090 No Father...I won't say 418 00:38:42,390 --> 00:38:46,090 {\i1}Oh Prehaps twas was that Meridith the skinny one i hear about?{\i0} 419 00:38:46,190 --> 00:38:48,090 No..No not at all 420 00:38:48,190 --> 00:38:51,490 {\i1}Oh it must be Betty?...Betty Stenton...{\i0} 421 00:38:51,490 --> 00:38:53,490 {\i1}The amount of confessions i get about that girl...{\i0} 422 00:38:53,490 --> 00:38:54,490 N..No 423 00:38:55,190 --> 00:38:58,090 {\i1}Oh..Prehaps it's that continental strumpet Angelina...{\i0} 424 00:38:58,090 --> 00:39:01,090 No Father forget it i won't say... 425 00:39:01,090 --> 00:39:04,390 {\i1}Your very tight lipped Johnny and i must say i admire that in a young man...{\i0} 426 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,700 {\i1}But even thoughts can be sinful...and you must atone...{\i0} 427 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,000 {\i1}Say 8 Hail Mary's and behave...{\i0} 428 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 So...what did you get? 429 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:21,200 8 Hail Mary's and 4 great leads.... 430 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:28,000 And who knows where little boys and girls go when they do bad things? 431 00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:31,000 I do Miss...i do... 432 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:32,100 Yes Johnny... 433 00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:34,400 They go in the bushes behind the Church-Yard... 434 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:40,100 Err...Careful Johnny...we may have to wash you mouth out with soap 435 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,200 ...Again 436 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:47,200 But it's true Mrs. Rogers Mickey Ramone showed me his Weener today at the Playground 437 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,200 It remined me of a Peanut!!! 438 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,300 Really...Small was it? 439 00:39:52,300 --> 00:39:54,300 No...Salty 440 00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:08,100 Mum...That man who works for God is here 441 00:40:09,500 --> 00:40:12,000 Oh Hello Father how nice to see you 442 00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:16,100 Hello Mrs.Murphy i just called to see if you were feeling better 443 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,200 This morning before Mass Little Johnny told me you were ill!! 444 00:40:19,310 --> 00:40:21,010 Told you i was ill!! 445 00:40:22,210 --> 00:40:27,010 - You know i think boys are stupid... - Oh I agree... 446 00:40:27,010 --> 00:40:28,010 No were not... 447 00:40:28,010 --> 00:40:31,310 Oh yes they are...All boys are stupid... 448 00:40:31,410 --> 00:40:36,010 - Stupid stupid stupid - And girls are so much better 449 00:40:36,010 --> 00:40:41,010 Oh yeah... At least i got one of these!!!...You haven't... 450 00:40:42,210 --> 00:40:44,310 I Don't Care..Johnny 451 00:40:44,310 --> 00:40:51,010 Because Mum say's that with one of these i can get as many of those as i like... 452 00:40:54,210 --> 00:40:55,310 Just a minute Young man... 453 00:40:55,410 --> 00:40:57,210 Oh Hi Mum... 454 00:40:57,220 --> 00:40:59,820 Why did you lie to Father O'Flarity? 455 00:40:59,820 --> 00:41:00,420 I didn't... 456 00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:03,020 Well he told me that you said i was ill... 457 00:41:03,020 --> 00:41:04,220 But you were Mum... 458 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,120 What makes you say that?...I wasn't ill 459 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:13,320 Well..I was walking past your bedroom this morning and i distinctly heard Dad say... 460 00:41:14,020 --> 00:41:17,420 Come on turn over and take your medicine... 461 00:41:17,420 --> 00:41:22,020 Oh..Well i'm much better now thank you... 462 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,620 Well come in here please we have a visitor.. 463 00:41:24,420 --> 00:41:26,220 Look who's here Johnny..Mrs. Quiggly 464 00:41:26,230 --> 00:41:29,030 You remember Mrs.Quiggly... Go and give her a kiss... 465 00:41:29,230 --> 00:41:31,830 Come Darling give us a kiss... 466 00:41:31,830 --> 00:41:32,330 No.... 467 00:41:32,330 --> 00:41:35,930 Oh what's the matter Sweetheart?..You too shy? 468 00:41:36,130 --> 00:41:38,230 No...She's too Ugly 469 00:41:38,230 --> 00:41:45,030 Johnny!! How dare you... Appologise to Mrs.Quiggly this instant.... Appologise... 470 00:41:46,030 --> 00:41:51,130 I'm sorry...Your so Ugly Mrs.Quiggly 471 00:41:52,030 --> 00:41:53,030 {\i1}Can i go now?{\i0} 472 00:42:30,230 --> 00:42:35,030 Okay...Quieten down Quieten down... 473 00:42:35,230 --> 00:42:36,230 QUIET!!! 474 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:40,940 Ha!!..Thank you 475 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:46,340 Now Class...Today were gonig to talk about Multi-syllable Words... 476 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:50,140 Does anybody know of an example of a Multi-syllable Word? 477 00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:53,040 Mary... 478 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:53,940 Pretty... 479 00:42:53,940 --> 00:42:56,040 Very good... Roger... 480 00:42:56,140 --> 00:42:57,540 Um Monkey... 481 00:42:57,540 --> 00:42:58,940 Very good... 482 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,840 Yes..Johnny!! 483 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,840 Mas-ter-bate... 484 00:43:03,850 --> 00:43:05,550 Oh Johnny..that's a mouthful... 485 00:43:05,550 --> 00:43:09,350 Oh no Miss You must be thinking of Blow-Job 486 00:43:10,550 --> 00:43:12,250 Quiet please... 487 00:43:13,350 --> 00:43:18,650 Now let's move on..Okay today were going to have two special words 488 00:43:18,750 --> 00:43:27,050 The first being.."Perhaps". Who can use the word "perhaps" in a sentence?..Yes Mickey... 489 00:43:27,050 --> 00:43:34,050 If were good and we don't give you no trouble or nuttin' "Prehaps" you won't give us any homework... 490 00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:37,350 Well we'll see about that... Yes Shana... 491 00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:42,150 The sky is very dark "Perhaps" it's going to rain... 492 00:43:42,150 --> 00:43:45,250 Excellent Shana...Very good use of the word... 493 00:43:48,650 --> 00:43:50,250 YES JOHNNY!!! 494 00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:58,860 Yesterday when i got to my Uncle's place after school my Cousin Cheryl and her Piano teacher both had there pants down around there ankles 495 00:43:59,060 --> 00:44:02,860 - "Perhaps" they were going to shit on the Piano -JOHNNY!!!... 496 00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:06,260 - Yes Miss... - That is totally unexceptable... 497 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:13,160 From now on you are to sit there... Do nothing...And above all else be quiet... 498 00:44:15,260 --> 00:44:19,460 Now Children...For today's second special word 499 00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:25,260 I would like to see if anyone can use the word "Beautiful" twice in one sentence... 500 00:44:31,060 --> 00:44:32,060 Yes Shana... 501 00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:38,260 My Cousin wore a "Beautiful" Wedding Dress and the whole Wedding was just "Beautiful" 502 00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:42,160 Very good Shana... Yes Roger... 503 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:50,060 It was a "Beautiful" day and my Father took us to the Mountains for a Picnic and the views were simply "Beautiful" 504 00:44:50,070 --> 00:44:52,070 Very good Roger... 505 00:44:53,070 --> 00:44:59,670 Miss...Miss....I can use it in a sentence 3 times Miss 506 00:44:59,670 --> 00:45:04,270 Really!!! Oh alright Johnny but be careful... 507 00:45:04,270 --> 00:45:10,070 Well Miss one night my Cousin Cheryl came home and told my Uncle Kevin that she was Pregnant 508 00:45:10,070 --> 00:45:18,270 and Uncle Kevin said "Beautiful"..."Beautiful".. Just fuckin' "Beautiful"... 509 00:45:20,070 --> 00:45:24,570 That's it... I have had quite enough of you young man 510 00:45:25,070 --> 00:45:29,370 {\i1}You are constantly disrupting my Classes with your foul language{\i0} 511 00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:41,670 But it's like i'm invisible 512 00:45:42,070 --> 00:45:43,970 She doesn't even know who i am... 513 00:45:43,970 --> 00:45:45,470 And that's why you wanna win the race? 514 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,480 Yeah..I have to win the race... 515 00:45:47,580 --> 00:45:53,080 No you don't mate...There are others ways of getting a girl to notice ya... 516 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,080 And if that fails...we'll go to Plan-B... 517 00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:57,480 So what's Plan-A? 518 00:45:57,580 --> 00:46:02,680 It's a known fact that over a half the world was conceived to love songs... 519 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:09,080 Write her a love song and even if you sound like shit she'll forgive you if she likes the words... 520 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:10,380 Uncle Kev... 521 00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,280 Can you teach me a love song? 522 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,080 Hi Honey...I'm home 523 00:46:17,180 --> 00:46:20,280 Hello Darling...We need to have a serious talk.. 524 00:46:21,090 --> 00:46:24,090 Look what i found in your son's closet when i was cleaning up today.. 525 00:46:27,390 --> 00:46:30,090 Well....What do you think we ought to do? 526 00:46:30,490 --> 00:46:33,090 Well i don't think we should spank him... 527 00:46:42,990 --> 00:46:46,690 # What's going on... # I'm starting to change... 528 00:46:47,290 --> 00:46:51,090 # I get Butterfly's... # When they mention your name... 529 00:46:51,890 --> 00:46:55,390 # I pant like a Puppy... # When i see your face... 530 00:46:55,790 --> 00:46:57,290 # I got girl germs... 531 00:47:01,090 --> 00:47:05,090 # I stammer and stutter... # When i try to speak... 532 00:47:06,090 --> 00:47:09,690 # When you smile at me... # I go weak at the knee's 533 00:47:10,090 --> 00:47:14,090 # I'm losing control Christ... # I hope i don't pee 534 00:47:14,390 --> 00:47:16,090 # I got girl germs... 535 00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:23,400 # I worried because... # Me Dick will drop off... 536 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:27,000 # And i'll grow me a full...set of Tits... 537 00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:33,000 # And wear frilly knickers... # And make-up and stuff... 538 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,200 # And i'll have to sit down..to piss... 539 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:42,300 # What can i do... # Will this feeling go away... 540 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:47,100 # Sorta hoping it does... # Sorta hoping it stays... 541 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,400 # Uncle Kev say's... # I need to get laid... 542 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,200 # I got girl germs... 543 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,000 {\i1}Oh Kevin what are gonna do?{\i0} 544 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:15,400 {\i1}Jesus I don't know love{\i0} 545 00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:20,510 {\i1}I'm only short 100 bucks surely the Bank will give us a fucking extension{\i0} 546 00:48:20,510 --> 00:48:23,110 {\i1}What..An extension on an extension..{\i0} 547 00:48:23,110 --> 00:48:24,010 Well why not!!! 548 00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:27,510 We've been doing business with those bastard's for near on 10 years.. 549 00:48:28,010 --> 00:48:29,210 It's the least they can do... 550 00:48:29,310 --> 00:48:31,210 {\i1}Oh i hope your right Kev...{\i0} 551 00:48:42,910 --> 00:48:44,010 {\i1}Hello Uncle Kev...{\i0} 552 00:48:46,010 --> 00:48:48,110 G'day mate...How'd it go? 553 00:48:49,010 --> 00:48:54,010 Oh...Fuck...Well not everybody's got an ear for music... 554 00:48:54,010 --> 00:48:56,010 We'll just have to try something else... 555 00:48:56,020 --> 00:48:58,020 Bu..But she doesn't like me Uncle Kevin... 556 00:48:58,020 --> 00:49:02,920 Mate she's a woman... She's just a bit confused in her head... 557 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:04,120 {\i1}Watch it Kevin...{\i0} 558 00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:08,120 Well w..what i'm saying is that they're not like normal people... 559 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,420 And they need lot's of proof that your not a loser... 560 00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,020 So how do we do that? 561 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,020 Err..Be a winner 562 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,720 Exactly... 563 00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:24,420 Well there it is mate...Superstition Hill... 564 00:49:29,020 --> 00:49:31,020 And it's not for Pussies... 565 00:49:31,230 --> 00:49:37,030 Imagine..Your Crown Jewels are gonna be dangling no more that 5 inches from the ground... 566 00:49:37,330 --> 00:49:40,230 It's like a bloody Cheese Grater at that speed... 567 00:49:41,230 --> 00:49:44,230 I've seen many a Genital torn to shreds... 568 00:49:45,430 --> 00:49:48,230 An they were the bloody lucky ones... 569 00:49:48,330 --> 00:49:50,430 The other's...well... 570 00:50:00,030 --> 00:50:04,230 But then again...i think superstition's got bugger all to do with it!!! 571 00:50:06,230 --> 00:50:09,030 It's all about the bloody training... 572 00:50:16,030 --> 00:50:18,130 Now you move into 5th position... 573 00:50:18,430 --> 00:50:22,130 "Short worm shows balls to sun"... 574 00:50:52,930 --> 00:50:55,130 Come on... Faster.... 575 00:50:55,140 --> 00:50:57,040 Put some bloody effort into it... 576 00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:01,040 Those leg's have got to be like steel fuckin' springs... 577 00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:25,240 Here we go... 578 00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:38,040 Forgive me for asking but...Shouldn't Little Johnny at least have a go in a real Billy-Cart? 579 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:42,340 Ah shit yeah...obviously he's got to pass this test first... 580 00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:49,940 So...What do ya reckon? 581 00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:52,040 What a piece of junk!!! 582 00:51:55,340 --> 00:52:00,040 Well she may not look like much but... she's got it where it counts kid.. 583 00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,540 She's a bloody marvel of engeneering... 584 00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,840 Probarbly the fastest Downhill Racer ever built... 585 00:52:10,050 --> 00:52:13,050 She's smashed all but 2 records around the country 586 00:52:13,050 --> 00:52:16,150 Ball Bearing Hubs... Geared differential... 587 00:52:16,150 --> 00:52:19,450 And about 40 pounds of ballast to speed things up... 588 00:52:19,550 --> 00:52:21,750 So Johnny...You ready? 589 00:52:21,850 --> 00:52:23,250 I'm ready... 590 00:52:23,250 --> 00:52:24,250 Hang on... 591 00:52:32,950 --> 00:52:35,350 Wow... Thrilling... 592 00:52:35,350 --> 00:52:37,350 Okay so it needs a bit of oil... 593 00:52:50,050 --> 00:52:53,050 Aarrgghh..Me fuckin' thumb... 594 00:53:09,450 --> 00:53:10,350 He's ready... 595 00:53:10,460 --> 00:53:12,360 - Really... - Yep... 596 00:53:13,060 --> 00:53:14,360 Ready as he'll ever be.. 597 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,460 God I know i'm not perfect 598 00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:22,460 But if you can let me win the Billy-Cart Derby and get the money i need 599 00:53:22,460 --> 00:53:26,060 I'll be able to buy the Super Deluxe Dragster Bicycle 600 00:53:26,060 --> 00:53:31,360 And then maybe..just maybe a certain person won't think i'm a loser 601 00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,260 And then she can be my girlfiend... 602 00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:38,260 I know you can fix everything er even maybe a race sometimes 603 00:53:38,260 --> 00:53:44,060 So i'm wondering that if i promise to be a better boy would you help me win the race 604 00:53:44,060 --> 00:53:49,060 And beat that Boof-head Jason... That would be gratefully appreciated 605 00:53:52,070 --> 00:53:55,870 Hey and if it's not too much to ask... Can you smack him in the Nut's while your at it 606 00:54:36,570 --> 00:54:39,370 These are for you Rog.. So you won't miss anything... 607 00:54:39,370 --> 00:54:43,170 Gee no one has ever done anything that nice for me before 608 00:54:43,170 --> 00:54:46,270 Well...What are best friend's for... 609 00:54:50,270 --> 00:54:53,470 Errm..I don't want to state the obvious but.. 610 00:54:53,570 --> 00:54:58,170 You do actually need a Billy-Cart to win a Billy-Cart race 611 00:55:10,070 --> 00:55:11,270 It doesn't matter Rog 612 00:55:11,270 --> 00:55:15,470 I'll never be able to beat them anyway in that rusty old thing Uncle Kevin has... 613 00:55:16,070 --> 00:55:18,070 These guy's are professionals 614 00:55:18,070 --> 00:55:22,070 Hey hang on... Put a lid on that sort of talk young-un... 615 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:26,080 Sorry i'm a little bit late... I had a case of the shits... 616 00:55:26,180 --> 00:55:28,280 So...What do you think? 617 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,380 Oh i love it Uncle Kev... 618 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,280 And...This from your Auntie Mavis.. 619 00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:40,580 Thanks Auntie Mavis... 620 00:55:41,980 --> 00:55:46,180 Now if things go to pieces out there!! And if the shit hits the fan... 621 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,980 Use the "F-O Lever"... 622 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,080 What is it? 623 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,180 Just a little invention i cooked up... 624 00:55:53,380 --> 00:55:57,280 Like it say's "Only use in emergencies" 625 00:55:57,290 --> 00:55:58,090 Got it? 626 00:55:58,190 --> 00:56:00,190 Yep..Got it... 627 00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:04,090 Now go win that bloody race kid 628 00:56:05,090 --> 00:56:11,490 Well here we are Ladies and Gentlemen.. At the infamous Superstition Hill 629 00:56:11,490 --> 00:56:15,090 For the Gallangatta Billy-Cart Derby... 630 00:56:15,190 --> 00:56:22,390 What began as a quaint local racing event has grown to be watched by thousands across the Nation 631 00:56:23,090 --> 00:56:25,090 The atmosphere here is electric 632 00:56:25,090 --> 00:56:31,090 And all around you can see the eager fans who have turned out to watch what promises to be 633 00:56:31,090 --> 00:56:36,190 A heart-stopping jaw-dropping bone-crunching extravaganza 634 00:56:36,490 --> 00:56:41,490 Now it's time to meet the competitors so over to you Father O'Flarity.. 635 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,000 Thank you Howard... 636 00:56:49,100 --> 00:56:52,100 Now i'd like to introduce some of our competitors before the race... 637 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,400 And first off we have Boris... 638 00:56:55,300 --> 00:57:00,000 I see your sitting on some sort of Un-Holy Atom Bomb type Rocket-Cart 639 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:01,300 You think it will help your chances? 640 00:57:01,300 --> 00:57:05,100 Dar...It will blow my competition away 641 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:10,300 So..Does the Red Threat have what it takes? I guess we'll just have to wait and see... 642 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:15,100 And who do we have here? Mustafa...And his Flying Carpet.. 643 00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:20,100 Are you confident that your wonderfully hand woven plush pile rug will see you through to victory? 644 00:57:20,100 --> 00:57:24,400 Glory be to Allah!! For he will fly me to the finish line... 645 00:57:24,410 --> 00:57:27,710 Yes indeed.. Ah Jason... 646 00:57:30,410 --> 00:57:33,010 You are odds on favourite to win this year.. 647 00:57:33,010 --> 00:57:38,310 So tell me...Are you feeling the pressure as reigning Champ to make it 2 wins in a row? 648 00:57:38,310 --> 00:57:40,010 3 actually Father... 649 00:57:40,010 --> 00:57:44,410 You see the thing about this competition is... there is no competition.. 650 00:57:45,010 --> 00:57:48,210 Well folks with confidence like that who needs luck? 651 00:57:49,210 --> 00:57:52,110 Next we have the eldest competitor in the race Mrs.Quiggly 652 00:57:52,210 --> 00:57:56,010 I understand you have competed in every race since it's humble begining's 653 00:57:56,010 --> 00:57:58,010 But have never actually run a place... 654 00:57:58,010 --> 00:58:00,110 Yes..That's true 655 00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:06,020 But this year i desperatly need that prize money for my beloved Terrier... 656 00:58:07,020 --> 00:58:12,020 You see Toto is very ill indeed and the Vet bills are more than i can afford.. 657 00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:16,520 Seeing as i'm a pensioner..and a Widow 658 00:58:21,020 --> 00:58:26,120 I'm sure our viewers hearts will be with you...Good luck and God Bless 659 00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:32,020 With all this stiff competition i'm wondering if our next racer Mickey Ramone is feeling the heat? 660 00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:40,420 Nah...Not from the others or that greedy old bag she's laying on the dying Pooch coupe like it's friggin' 661 00:58:40,420 --> 00:58:45,120 I'm not fallin' for it...If she get's in my way.. You get whacked... 662 00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:46,220 I'm in this to win... 663 00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,520 See me in Confession 664 00:58:49,020 --> 00:58:56,520 Well folks it seems there's enough rivalry to go around. Last but not least we have a young lad in what i believe is his first race.. 665 00:58:56,530 --> 00:59:00,130 So tell me Little Johnny.. Are you confident of a big win? 666 00:59:00,330 --> 00:59:01,330 Yep... 667 00:59:02,030 --> 00:59:09,130 Err so do you feel that Lady Luck is with you on this Friday the 13th and are you a superstitious man at all? 668 00:59:09,130 --> 00:59:14,030 Never heard of her..And as for superstition on the kids err i couldn't care less.. 669 00:59:14,030 --> 00:59:16,030 Well that's the spirit.. 670 00:59:16,130 --> 00:59:17,230 {\i1}God Bless ya son...{\i0} 671 00:59:17,830 --> 00:59:22,030 {\i1}A wave of excitment has gripped the crowd as the clock ticks down to the main event..{\i0} 672 00:59:32,430 --> 00:59:38,430 It has been said that the Billy-Cart Derby is as much a mental challenge as it is physical.. 673 00:59:39,030 --> 00:59:41,030 Do you think your nephew has what it takes 674 00:59:41,030 --> 00:59:43,130 Oh he's a smart boy alright... 675 00:59:43,140 --> 00:59:45,540 Helping him with his math one day i asked him 676 00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:51,040 "If there were 3 bird's on a fence and you shot 1..How many would be left?" 677 00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:52,240 He said "None" 678 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,040 Oohh... Goodness... 679 00:59:54,040 --> 01:00:01,140 I know so i asked him why... And he said "because when you shot the first 1 the others all flew away" 680 01:00:01,340 --> 01:00:05,240 I said "The answer is 2" But it shows you were thinking... 681 01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,040 Then Little Johnny asked me a question 682 01:00:08,140 --> 01:00:13,040 "If there were 3 ladies sitting on a park bench eating Ice Pops" 683 01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:18,340 "One is biting her's One is licking her's and the other is sucking her's" 684 01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:20,240 "Which one is married?" 685 01:00:21,850 --> 01:00:25,350 Well i said without really thinking "the one that was sucking on it" 686 01:00:25,350 --> 01:00:31,050 Little Johnny looked at me ever so innocently said "no it was the one with the wedding ring" 687 01:00:31,050 --> 01:00:34,050 But good on ya Auntie Mavis It shows you were thinking 688 01:00:35,050 --> 01:00:38,350 Well err thank you Father for that insight.. 689 01:00:39,050 --> 01:00:42,350 Ladies and Gentlemen the racers prepare for the big moment 690 01:00:42,350 --> 01:00:50,050 As Father O'Flarity offers a final blessing on this Friday the 13th on Superstition Hill 691 01:01:18,950 --> 01:01:24,050 And now Ladies and Gentlemen the moment we've all been waiting for 692 01:01:24,050 --> 01:01:29,650 The 1967 Gallangatta Billy-Cart Derby 693 01:02:00,850 --> 01:02:06,350 {\i1}Mustafa has taken to the air... What an unbelievable sight...{\i0} 694 01:02:22,450 --> 01:02:27,250 Holy fuuuuuck.... 695 01:02:49,060 --> 01:02:53,060 Forget it you old bag... Go back to your nursing home... 696 01:02:53,060 --> 01:02:55,160 You and your Little Toto too... 697 01:03:08,060 --> 01:03:13,060 {\i1}It seems that a little disagreement between Mrs.Quiggly and the carry over Champ{\i0} 698 01:03:13,260 --> 01:03:17,060 {\i1}The tension going into fever pitch and getting the better of them{\i0} 699 01:03:34,060 --> 01:03:36,160 Come on mate..you can do it... 700 01:03:37,260 --> 01:03:39,260 Come on Johnny... 701 01:04:16,060 --> 01:04:18,060 Jesus Christ... 702 01:04:21,060 --> 01:04:26,060 My goodness one of our competitors has become..Bogged Down!! 703 01:04:27,060 --> 01:04:31,060 I have absolutely nothing to add... 704 01:04:35,060 --> 01:04:38,260 Get out of my way you filthy little scallywag... 705 01:04:38,270 --> 01:04:40,170 That money is mine... 706 01:04:40,170 --> 01:04:44,170 - Back off she... - No spoilt little rich punks getting it 707 01:04:44,170 --> 01:04:48,170 Not over my stinking..dead..body... 708 01:06:13,070 --> 01:06:15,570 Come on Johnny you can fucking do it... 709 01:06:15,570 --> 01:06:18,170 Settle down Kev.. You have to watch your blood pressure 710 01:06:18,370 --> 01:06:20,270 It's only a race for God's sakes... 711 01:06:23,670 --> 01:06:27,170 You are..finished... 712 01:06:28,270 --> 01:06:29,870 Fuck-head... 713 01:06:40,370 --> 01:06:46,070 You leave our Johnny alone you filthy cheating cock-sucking mother-fucker... 714 01:07:23,370 --> 01:07:27,070 You..are..finished.... 715 01:07:28,980 --> 01:07:32,180 {\i1}Like it says "Only use in emergencies"...{\i0} 716 01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:54,380 Holy shit.... 717 01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:05,180 Shoot me...Shoot me... Shoot me... 718 01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:32,180 Johnny... Johnny... 719 01:08:53,080 --> 01:09:00,180 Holy shi...Ladies and Gentlemen if he doesn't make it over the finish line he'll be disqualified 720 01:09:00,180 --> 01:09:02,480 Can he do it?... Can he... 721 01:09:11,980 --> 01:09:14,180 He can... He can... 722 01:09:14,180 --> 01:09:18,180 Little Johnny has gone on to win the race an unbelievable... 723 01:09:18,180 --> 01:09:22,180 - Johnny... - Fuckin' beauty..Good on ya young un... 724 01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:26,180 Did i know it'll not be forgotten for generations to come 725 01:09:32,890 --> 01:09:36,190 Well of course i'm proud of him he's a bloody Champion... 726 01:09:36,190 --> 01:09:38,290 And he always makes me laugh.. 727 01:09:38,290 --> 01:09:42,390 Like the other day we were sitting on the fence watching a Bull with 2 Cows... 728 01:09:42,390 --> 01:09:44,290 And i asked him what it was up to he says... 729 01:09:44,390 --> 01:09:48,090 I'm watching the Black Bull fuck the Black Cow Uncle Kev... 730 01:09:48,190 --> 01:09:50,090 The Missis was on to him she said 731 01:09:50,090 --> 01:09:55,090 "Your not supposed to say that the Bull was surprising the Black Cow" 732 01:09:55,090 --> 01:10:00,090 The next day at a family do with everybody gathered round the Missis said to Little Johnny she says... 733 01:10:00,090 --> 01:10:04,090 {\i1}"So Johnny did the Bull suprisse the Black cow today?"{\i0} 734 01:10:04,190 --> 01:10:08,290 Little Johnny said "Sure did he fucked the White one" 735 01:10:08,290 --> 01:10:09,190 {\i1}Kevin...{\i0} 736 01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:48,000 Thanks Uncle Kevin... I couldn't of done it without ya 737 01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:50,000 Your welcome mate... 738 01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:54,000 You may be only a little takka but ya got a bloody big heart... 739 01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:58,200 You little shits...get outta my way That's my money... 740 01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:03,200 {\i1}Firstly Little Johnny may i congratulate you on your absolutley monumental{\i0} 741 01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:07,100 victory here today...You have shown tremendous courage 742 01:11:07,100 --> 01:11:12,100 and will undoubtedbly become an inspiration for Down-hill Racers around the world... 743 01:11:12,100 --> 01:11:16,100 Is there anything you would like to say to your fan's out here today? 744 01:11:16,100 --> 01:11:19,100 Yep.. Goin'!!... 745 01:11:19,310 --> 01:11:21,110 {\i1}Why you little{\i0} 746 01:11:25,110 --> 01:11:26,710 I'll take it... 747 01:11:26,810 --> 01:11:31,010 Congratulations Little Johnny she's a wonderful bike 748 01:11:31,010 --> 01:11:33,310 Would you like it boxed? Or do you want to ride it home? 749 01:11:36,910 --> 01:11:38,110 Ride thanks... 750 01:11:39,010 --> 01:11:40,010 {\i1}Watch it Dick-head...{\i0} 751 01:11:40,010 --> 01:11:42,010 Ah fuck off... 752 01:11:42,010 --> 01:11:43,010 {\i1}Uncle Kevin...{\i0} 753 01:11:43,010 --> 01:11:46,110 {\i1}Your a very lucky young man it's the last one{\i0} 754 01:11:46,110 --> 01:11:48,010 {\i1}Rare as Hens Teeth they are..{\i0} 755 01:11:48,110 --> 01:11:51,210 There's nothing else i can do for you Mr.Wilson good-day... 756 01:11:51,220 --> 01:11:56,820 Oi hang on a bloody minute look mate i'm..i'm not asking for any favours here just a little bit more time.. 757 01:11:56,820 --> 01:12:03,120 Time did you say?..Yes if only we as mere mortals could control something as dreary as time.. 758 01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:06,120 But alas we can't so i won't..thank you 759 01:12:06,120 --> 01:12:07,220 48 Hours 760 01:12:09,020 --> 01:12:10,220 Al-alright 24 761 01:12:10,320 --> 01:12:15,420 I'm not asking you to change time just..just look the other way for a little bit 762 01:12:15,420 --> 01:12:22,020 I'm afraid the balance must be paid today in full or we will for-close on your property 763 01:12:22,020 --> 01:12:23,020 {\i1}So that's it huh!!...{\i0} 764 01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:29,320 {\i1}I'm gonna loose every fuckin' thing i worked for and all for a pissy little 30 Dollars..{\i0} 765 01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:32,020 {\i1}30 Dollars or a 1000 to the Bank makes no difference..{\i0} 766 01:12:32,030 --> 01:12:34,330 {\i1}Well mate it makes a big bloody difference to me..{\i0} 767 01:12:34,430 --> 01:12:38,330 We are a Financial Institution not a Charity.. 768 01:12:38,330 --> 01:12:41,230 Well what happened to the Old Australian "Fair-go" 769 01:12:41,230 --> 01:12:45,130 Proberbly on vacation along with the Good Samaritan's now if you don't mind 770 01:12:45,130 --> 01:12:47,330 {\i1}Don't mind...don't mind...{\i0} 771 01:12:47,930 --> 01:12:51,730 Well as a matter of fact i do fucking mind Ya fuckwitt 772 01:12:51,730 --> 01:12:53,430 {\i1}There's no need for language like that sir...{\i0} 773 01:12:53,430 --> 01:12:56,230 Mate i haven't even fuckin' started on you yet... 774 01:12:56,230 --> 01:12:57,130 Right... 775 01:13:01,540 --> 01:13:02,340 Help... 776 01:13:02,340 --> 01:13:07,040 {\i1}Now tell me what's it take to save me fuckin' farm?{\i0} 777 01:13:07,140 --> 01:13:08,240 30 Dollars... 778 01:13:08,340 --> 01:13:10,040 Uncle Kevin... 779 01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:11,040 Yeah mate.. 780 01:13:11,040 --> 01:13:12,140 Here's your 30 Bucks.. 781 01:13:14,140 --> 01:13:15,340 Thank you young man... 782 01:13:18,340 --> 01:13:20,140 Happy counting Mister 783 01:13:20,140 --> 01:13:23,140 Hey thanks mate.. you know i'll make it up to ya 784 01:13:23,140 --> 01:13:26,040 Don't worry Uncle Kev you already have!! 785 01:13:26,050 --> 01:13:28,050 Really!!...How's that? 786 01:13:29,950 --> 01:13:34,050 You know something Johnny..You got a bloody good head on your shoulders 787 01:13:34,350 --> 01:13:36,050 Did i ever tell you that? 788 01:13:36,050 --> 01:13:38,450 Aaww thanks Uncle Kev 789 01:13:39,950 --> 01:13:43,150 Hey guy's... wait for me 790 01:13:45,050 --> 01:13:47,050 Say did you get the bicycle? 791 01:13:47,050 --> 01:13:48,050 Nah... 792 01:13:48,250 --> 01:13:49,350 Grew out of it 793 01:13:49,350 --> 01:13:52,050 I know you and Mary are like an item and all and.. 794 01:13:52,060 --> 01:13:55,060 normally that's like well a..a big problem with me 795 01:13:55,060 --> 01:13:59,360 But i believe in my heart..we'll see this thing through!! 796 01:13:59,360 --> 01:14:05,360 Like mates so if it's alright with you both can i still hang out with you guys? 797 01:14:05,360 --> 01:14:07,160 Course you can Rog... 798 01:14:07,160 --> 01:14:08,160 Oh great... 799 01:14:08,260 --> 01:14:09,260 Were mates... 800 01:14:09,260 --> 01:14:10,160 Of course 801 01:14:10,160 --> 01:14:12,160 {\i1}So what became of Little Johnny?{\i0} 802 01:14:12,160 --> 01:14:14,060 {\i1}Did he find success?{\i0} 803 01:14:14,060 --> 01:14:15,060 {\i1}Or failure?{\i0} 804 01:14:15,060 --> 01:14:17,060 {\i1}It doesn't really matter{\i0} 805 01:14:17,070 --> 01:14:20,170 {\i1}The point is Little Johnny has become part of folk-law{\i0} 806 01:14:20,170 --> 01:14:21,170 {\i1}A Legend...{\i0} 807 01:14:21,170 --> 01:14:26,870 {\i1}And as we all know...Legend's never ever die...{\i0} 808 01:15:05,270 --> 01:15:08,070 {\i1}Mr.Hanson can i ask you something?{\i0} 809 01:15:08,070 --> 01:15:10,170 Of course Johnny... What is it? 810 01:15:10,170 --> 01:15:14,070 Well Mary and i wanna get married is that alright? 811 01:15:14,070 --> 01:15:18,270 Oh i don't see why not!! But there's a few thing's to sort out 812 01:15:18,370 --> 01:15:20,270 Like..err where will you live? 813 01:15:20,270 --> 01:15:23,170 Well i figured i could just move into Mary's room!! 814 01:15:23,170 --> 01:15:25,170 It's big enough for the both of us easily.. 815 01:15:25,180 --> 01:15:28,580 Oh i see..Erm how will you support her? 816 01:15:28,580 --> 01:15:30,080 Well we'll eat here... 817 01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:33,080 I get a Dollar a-week allowance and so does she.. 818 01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:35,480 I got a bit saved up...That should be enough 819 01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:40,080 {\i1}Alright and what if any little one's come along?{\i0} 820 01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:44,380 Well finger's crossed we've been lucky so far!!! 821 01:15:50,080 --> 01:15:51,580 Why's that funny Uncle Kev? 67331

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