Original subtitles

♪ Hollywood

♪ We're going to see Garbo and Gable

♪ We're through with that 7

♪ Waiting on tables ♪

♪ Everyone says that we are able ♪

♪ To be understood out in Hollywood

♪ Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, pal &

♪ We must bid you adieu ♪

♪ Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, pal &

♪ I'll be sighing over you ♪

♪ So long, ta ta, cheerio ♪

♪ Think of us when you go ♪

♪ Until then, once again ♪

♪ Good-bye, pal »

♪ Out where they say, let us be gay ♪

♪ I'm going Hollywood 7

♪ I'll ballyhoo &

♪ Greetings to you ♪

♪ I'm going Hollywood 7

♪ Say, while you sleepyheads 7

♪ Are in that hay ♪

♪ I'll be dancing ♪»

♪ I'm gonna be dancing with a sun-kissed baby

♪ And I'm on my way ♪

♪ Here's my beret 7

♪ I'm going Hollywood 7

- You know who would be perfect to direct this,

and it kills me to say it,

because I don't relish the idea of working with him,

but my ex-husband.

- Val?

- Val's perfect.

He's perfect, given this material.

- She's right.

This is his kinda story.

- Look, I love Val, I love him.

But with all due respect,

he's a raving, incompetent, psychotic.

- He's not incompetent.

- They should lock him up and throw away the key.

And please, don't take that the wrong way.

- Forget it.

We're gonna wind up $20 million over budget,

and maybe no picture to boot.

- That's right.

I did a picture with him when I was at Firestone.

He didn't even finish the movie.

I was there at Firestone.

- He had a nervous breakdown.

- Wait a minute, he was under a lot of stress.

We had just broken up.

- Honey, he was fired off a picture

here at Galaxie just before I took over.

They said his demands were outrageous.

- He's a perfectionist.

- The light had to be perfect.

The sun had to be just right.

He demanded that they replace the leading lady.

He wanted to reshoot the dailies every other day.

He fired the cameraman.

Finally, he came down with shingles.

They shut down the picture

and found another director to finish it.

- You don't have to tell me about that.

I was married to him at the time.

- Then you should remember.

- That was ten years ago, Hal.

- His best pictures were ten years ago.

Then he became a real artiste you know, they always do.

- Look, look.

I am the last person to defend that craziness

because it drove me nuts.

But Val cares about movies,

and he was born to do this material.

- Ellie, what are we discussing here?

Shingles, headaches.

Why open a can of worms?

- But he's mellowed.

I'm telling you.

Who better to direct this?

The streets of New York are in his marrow.

- Let me just say this, Ruth.

Yes, Ruth.

- No way!

- God!

- What about him?

He's great.

I know we could get him.

- Boring.

- He'd be safe.

- He'd be a lot more expensive than Val.

- We can put our foot on his neck.

Martin Ruth.

- That's true.

Val hasn't worked in a lot of years.

We could make a good deal.

- All you have to do is watch him like a hawk.

- We're gonna lose, we're gonna lose a lot more with Val.

- I agree with Ellie.

I think he's the ideal director for this project.

But we're not gonna use him.

- Right.

- Cause who needs trouble?

- Besides, what makes you think he'd want to work with us,

given all the personal baggage?

- I'm told that he's in no position to be fussy.

- I can't stand it here.

What the hell am I doing in Canada?

Lori, they got moose up here.

Moose.

Are moose carnivorous?

- My God, how could you be homesick?

You got there yesterday.

You're coming home tomorrow.

- Val?

Val, Val, Val.

We're good to go here.

Waiting on you.

- Did my agent call?

Any word on that TV movie?

The interracial abortion, gene-splicing thing?

- I think the TV movie decided to go with Peter Bogdanovich.

- Oh, that's great.

That's just great.

You know, I love Peter.

Peter's a beautiful guy.

God bless him.

- Val!

- Val, the client wants more

overhead coverage of the spray cans.

- One minute.

Lori, this is humiliating.

I'm up here shooting a deodorant commercial.

I got two Oscars.

Up here, you don't need Oscars, you need antlers.

- Here's a funny script about

two kids in a college fraternity

who invent a machine that

can turn women back into virgins again.

It's very clever.

- What's the matter?

- You know, when you asked me

to come out here for you, you promised me

that I wasn't just going to be

one of those bright women who finds properties

and goes to lunch 500 times developing them,

and then never gets one made.

Honey, The City That Never Sleeps is green-lit.

That's been your project from day one.

- Yeah, sure.

Until I suggest the director.

And then even though you admit he'd be perfect for it,

I get shot down.

- You didn't get shot down, honey.

- I know that that's a risky choice,

but it's an inspired choice.

- I think you're trying to help him because you feel guilty.

- Guilty?

- Yes.

- Why should I feel guilty?

Because I fell in love with you?

I mean, God knows I put enough years in that marriage.

- That's right, you did absolutely nothing wrong honey.

- I know.

- Nothing.

- I brought up his name because,

because he would give you the best movie for that script.

Nobody argued that.

- He's probably so angry he won't even speak to you.

And he's liable to ruin the picture

just to get even with me.

- No, you're wrong about that,

I'm telling you, you're wrong.

He would be grateful.

He needs a comeback, and--

- Ellie, this is a very, very expensive film.

It's got solid box-office potential.

- He can do it.

- You don't regret leaving him, do you?

- You know, one day you look up

and you realize that laughs are not enough.

I can handle him, Hal.

I just got tired of having to all the time.

And then, you know, then I met you.

- What are you doing home?

- I quit.

- No!

Val, not again.

You quit over nothing again?

- Not over nothing.

- What?

- I quit over a big thing.

- What?

- They fired me.

I thought that was big enough to quit over.

- Oh, Val!

That's just great.

- I got the last plane out of Toronto.

Have you ever seen Canada?

Now I know why there's no crime up there.

Boy, I must say,

you don't seem too enthused over seeing me.

- Well, can you blame me?

What are you gonna do now?

You're gonna sit around the apartment,

talking about the good old days.

- I gotta get a picture.

Boy, somebody's got to take a chance on me.

This is ridiculous.

When you're cold, you're cold.

Fortunately, my business manager

put away enough money before he went to prison

so I could hold out another three weeks, maybe.

- Your agent called.

- Hey, you know, if you'd come up there with me,

it might have been different.

Two people in that sleeping bag is a lot cozier than one.

- And who goes on for me in the play?

- For God sakes, it's an off-off-Broadway play.

You're in the last stages.

Your understudy could have gone on for you.

- Are you kidding?

My understudy?

Right, and that will be the one night

that Steven Spielberg comes to see the play,

or Harvey Weinstein.

- They're not coming, believe me.

They're fasting.

- I would've been so good in that Shakespeare movie.

- What's, oh, what's that?

- These are pelts.

I traded with a fur trapper between shots

so the trip wouldn't be a total loss.

- Your agent sent over that script.

- A script?

Why didn't you tell me about this?

The City That Never Sleeps.

When did this come in?

- Well?

What did you think of it?

- You know, I thought it had definite potential.

It's got a, you know, really good Manhattan feel to it.

- You know, they're interested in you directing.

- You know, that's fine with me.

You know, this is the kind

of material that I can really do great.

This is, this is, you know, I can make this script sing.

This is New York, it's nightclubs, it's the skyline.

You want some water?

- Please.

- I'm very excited.

- Me too.

- Who wants me?

- Well, uh, we have a little selling to do,

but, uh, Galaxie is making it.

- Hal Yeager?

- Yes, that's right.

- He stole my wife.

- Ellie is the one who's pushing for you up there.

- Pass, I'm not gonna work with Hal Yeager and Ellie.

You gotta be kidding,

he's a Philistine and she's a quisling.

It's a religious conflict.

- Will you calm down?

It's everything you've been looking for.

- You know, I'm frankly flabbergasted

they would even think of me.

- Well, they didn't think of you, she did.

And she has convinced Yeager to come fly

to New York and take a meeting with you.

- This guy stole my wife.

- He doesn't hold that against you.

It's business.

- Can you believe that she would leave me for Hal Yeager?

I still can't get my mind around it, Mr. Slick.

The price of his haircut could feed a family of five.

- Calm down, you're getting all red.

Would you calm down?

- And you're telling me she, he doesn't want me?

She's the, the nerve of them.

He's such a manicured phony.

May he, may he fall on his blow comb

and get hot in the wrong place.

- Please, Val, please don't do anything to kill this.

It's a golden opportunity.

- Forget it.

I would rather do the geriatric

diaper commercial I turned down.

- Would you?

Because that's what the future holds if this falls through.

- Of course I wouldn't.

This is a terrific script.

I, you know, I--

- Make some sense now.

A $60 million dollar, first-class feature film.

A big payday, which you need.

And if you score with this one, you're back on top.

You'll never have a gift like this drop in your lap again.

Just take the meeting with Yeager.

- And Ellie?

- Yes, and Ellie.

I'm telling you, I'll get you half a million dollars.

- A lousy half-mil they're offering?

They want to buy prestige

at the Shrine Auditorium Oscar night for a half-mil?

- There's no offer.

It's not an offer yet.

- I reject their offer.

- There is nothing to reject.

- Well, I reject it anyhow.

- You better meet with him and you better be nice,

or else I'm out of here.

- I finally get an offer that's worthy of my gifts,

and look where it comes from.

- There is no offer yet.

And I am so tired of all this,

the big talk about how big you were ten years ago.

Things change, and you can't get work.

- You know, part of me wants it so badly.

- And the other part?

- Also wants it, that's the problem.

- It only takes one hit.

- I know.

- And I want a role in this movie.

- I don't have the movie yet.

He's gotta meet me and throw his weight around first.

- And not just a little bit.

Something where I can show off what I can do.

- Lori, I can't stick my girlfriend in the movie.

- I'm not just your girlfriend.

I'm good.

- Remember all those times

I told you you should take acting lessons?

- I'm a natural.

Classes would ruin me.

- Jesus.

You know, Ellie feels guilty about dumping me,

so this is her way of clearing her conscience.

- Great!

What's the difference how it came about?

- This whole thing is creepy, Lori.

For God sakes,

this is a woman I was married to for 10 years.

We made love.

I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.

- From making love with you?

- Not from making love with me, from eating sushi.

For God's sakes, I used to hug her

when she was afraid of flying.

And, you know, I kissed her on top of the Eiffel Tower.

I swam in the moonlight with her at Montauk.

Now suddenly I got to take a meeting with her?

- I don't know.

I've got very mixed feelings.

This guy has really got to show me he's changed.

- He's not in a position to make extraordinary demands.

- Because it was over for him years ago.

He hasn't touched anything for years, garbage.

I'm telling you, garbage.

I mean, I'm not saying that as criticism, you know.

- The question is, do I wanna let this

has been make his comeback picture on my money?

- He's not a has-been.

He's a very good director

who's fallen on some difficult times.

- He brought it on himself, he's his own worst enemy.

- Look, think of the press angle, you know.

Val Waxman does his comeback film for Galaxie Pictures.

- What good is the press if the guy ruins the picture?

- He's not gonna ruin the picture, he's not.

- No, you're damn right he's not because I'll fire him.

I'm not going to take temperamental antics

from some owteur genius.

- Auteur, auteur.

- Whatever.

Okay, auteur.

- You're doing a jack story, okay?

He can do this film better than anybody I can think of.

- We'll see.

- You're so nervous, you're making me nervous.

- I'm not nervous, I'm tense.

- You are nervous.

- I'm tense.

When I'm nervous, I bite my nails.

When I'm tense, I do this with my collar.

- Just act, calm down and act professional.

- I am, I'm fine.

But this is a guy who stole my wife.

Years ago, I would never

have consented to make a film for him

and now, now suddenly I'm auditioning for him?

It's crazy.

You know, I would kill for this job

but the people I want to kill

are the people who are offering me the job.

It's just insanity.

- What is that?

- Remember in the cab I took a blue pill?

- Yeah?

- Well, that was to calm my anger.

But it had speed in it.

So then I took another pill after that

to calm down the speed.

Well, this gets me back up to speed,

where I want to be actually for the meeting.

- Great, perfect.

- Yeah.

- Then that other pill I took

keeps me dry when it's raining out.

- Ellie.

- Hello Al.

- Ellie how are you?

- So good to see you.

- Hello, Val.

- Hello, Val.

- Al.

How are you?

- Good to see you.

- Ed.

- I'm so glad you could get here.

Are they still having power failures?

I read that there was a terrible

power failure in California.

- Can I get you some coffee?

- Coffee would be wonderful.

- Electricity.

That the electricity was going off.

- Come on in.

- Since when do you wear suits?

You have any milk?

- You never wore suits.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, cream.

Well, Val, you look very good.

- I'm okay, you know.

I've been having some back spasms

and I have a torn rotator cuff,

and, my knee, you know, I got a hearing loss.

It's the oddest thing.

In my left ear--

- What did you think of the script?

- The script?

You know, the movie that

it's based on was a stupid little potboilers.

- He's asking about the script.

- But the rewrite is good.

- Thanks to Ellie, she did all the work.

- Yeah, it's good.

You know, I think this could make

a kind of tough, gritty, New York, big city movie.

- You can't make any money just in big cities.

- Well, I mean, where do you think this is going to play?

It's not going to appeal

to farmers or shopping malls in Biloxi.

- Oh, I completely disagree.

I think if this picture is mounted properly,

it's gonna have universal appeal.

- Where do you think the demographics are?

- The demographics?

You mean why the country got so stupid suddenly?

My theory's fast foods.

- The age group, the age group of this film.

Where do you see it?

- The age?

This will appeal to, you know,

to adults and teenagers, young adults,

and, you know, kids, adolescents, I think.

Toddlers, I imagine.

Newborns.

Our marketing research shows

this film has wide appeal for both sexes.

- Yes, I agree and then some, actually.

But, the script has some holes in it.

- Val--

- Like what?

- Well, take the climax, for instance.

I think the climax comes, comes too early is the problem.

It should come after the trial scene.

- Didn't I say that?

The inciting event should come later.

- The character of Benny.

I feel we should shoot Benny

with a hand-held camera and not a Steadicam.

Benny should be nervous.

It should, you know,

put the audience ill at ease, like his inner-personality.

- I don't know if I like that.

- It could be with a Steadicam.

You even said that.

- Let me ask you how you'd feel about this, and be honest.

What if we shot the whole picture in black and white?

- Why?

- Because New York City is a black-and-white town.

It reeks of black and white.

- Forget it.

- Arty, it's arty.

- Does anybody have an aspirin?

Do you have an aspirin?

- Here, try one of these.

My herbalist gave them to me.

- I can do this picture.

I know, I got a feel for it.

I see it all, maybe with like a Cole Porter score?

- All right, well, let us discuss it.

We're talking to a couple of other directors

and, um, we'll let you know.

- Maybe Irving Berlin or something.

You bridge the--

- Well, I think we'd have to discuss it.

- You know, if there ever was

a Val Waxman property, boy, this is it, right?

- We'll keep in touch.

- Does anyone have a Xanax?

- Zantac.

I've got an ulcer too.

- Not Zantac, Xanax.

It's a completely different problem.

- Can I talk to you?

- Listen, Val.

Oh, sorry.

It was great seeing you again.

It was.

- You've got an herbalist?

- Oh, yes, a genius.

In Beverly Hills he's a genius.

If he was in New York, he'd be considered low-normal.

You know, we use a completely different rating system here.

- When we were kids,

there were like ten foreign films a week in this city.

Italian, French--

- Oh, Italian films.

I love them.

- Val Waxman.

Any messages?

You're sure?

Okay.

- Did you see my cat?

Isn't that neat?

- Sorry about that.

Uh, no.

Nothing.

- Anything?

- We were just talking about Alfred Hitchcock.

- Mm-hmm.

- Truffaut said Notorious was his best film.

- I agree, I agree, a masterpiece.

- What are you talking about?

You hate, he hates that movie.

The ending makes you crazy.

- Yes, because it's a masterpiece.

Every time I watch that movie,

when Cary Grant is carrying Ingrid Bergman

down the staircase,

I always think that the Germans are going to catch them.

- I do too.

- No matter how many times I see it,

I think the Germans are gonna get them.

- Hitchcock was an artist, but he was commercial.

- Yeah, that's right.

- You say that like it's a good thing.

- You have to be both.

I mean, he knew what he was doing, you know?

In order to make movies,

you have to think about the audience, you have to,

otherwise, you're just making movies for yourself,

like artistic masturbation.

- That's right, that's right.

You're a narcissist.

- I'm a classic narcissist then.

Have I told you my views on masturbation ever?

- No.

- For me, the nicest thing about masturbation

is afterward, the cuddling time.

They're laughing, I'm not joking.

- Want a wienie?

- You got it.

You're directing The City That Never Sleeps.

I just got the call.

- I can't believe it.

I, I can't speak.

- I got you half a million,

plus a tenth of a point after quadruple break-even.

Listen, uh, they're going back to L.A. tonight.

You think you could meet Ellie for a drink for ten minutes?

- Why?

- Why?

Because you owe her some thanks, that's why.

She went out on a limb for you.

I think she wants to make sure you're both on the same page.

Think about Hal Yeager.

He's quick to hire, quick to fire.

You need Ellie to run interference.

- All right, all right.

I'll meet her at the Bemelmans Bar at nine o'clock.

I can spare ten minutes.

I can't tell ya, my head's swimming.

A tenth of a point after quadruple break-even.

You are really a shark, Al.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Can I get a Beck's, please?

- Since we're working together,

I thought we should sit down and talk for a few minutes.

- That's fine with me.

- I mean, as you know,

Hal was a little skeptical at first

but in the end, you know,

he's a businessman and very professional.

- Let me set your mind at ease.

You don't have to worry about everything.

Things are gonna go very smoothly.

This is, this is a big shot for me and I realize that,

you know, many people think that I'm,

that I can be difficult.

But you know I can be very professional

and obviously, Hal Yeager's very professional,

and you're professional, clearly.

So, you know, as long as business is business,

there should be no,

I cannot understand how

you could leave me for that cheesy windbag.

It's mind-numbing to me.

I just don't understand that.

- Val.

- And you carry on with him behind my back for two months.

- It was not two months.

- Yes, yes, it was.

Don't tell me it wasn't two month.

You were carrying on behind my back,

not even behind my back, but under my nose.

That's twice a day.

Both places.

- Okay, you're exaggerating.

- I'm not exaggerating.

You were always on the phone with him.

You were exchanging glances.

I noticed it.

Then suddenly, you were exchanging fluids.

I can't believe that I didn't really see it.

- You were too self-absorbed.

You were too intent on becoming

the great American film artist.

- Don't tell me that.

Everything was fine with you

until I started to lose my audience.

Then suddenly you dump me and move out

to Beverly Hills with the swimming pool.

You hated California.

We both hated it.

You hated traveling every place by car all the time

and I hated traveling by mud slide.

- Well, what did you want me to do?

Our marriage wasn't going anyplace.

- Where did you want it to go?

Where do marriages go?

After awhile they all lay there.

That's the thing about marriages.

- Look--

- You know, that's ridiculous.

- No, it was in trouble for a long time.

You see, you don't see what you don't want to see.

How was it in trouble?

- We didn't, we didn't communicate.

- We had sex.

- Yes, we had sex, but we never talked.

- Sex is better than talk.

Ask anybody in this bar.

- You can't--

- Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

- You isolate everything.

You can't just compartmentalize like that.

A good marriage consists of many parts well-integrated.

- Yes, and is one of those parts adultery?

- Never.

- Absolutely, at the Plaza Hotel.

For God sakes, I got the bill.

You had the escargot that afternoon.

I can't, it's so disgusting.

Sex and snails with that roast beef from Beverly Hills.

- You were so busy playing the American artist.

That's what you were doing, playing.

You felt it was important to be

uncompromising and temperamental,

and difficult, God, difficult!

To starve and to suffer.

I tell you, you had all the symptoms, but not the disease.

- You used to think I was creative and original.

- And I still do, as a filmmaker.

It's when you became creative

as a hypochondriac, that was it.

- Hey, all those attacks were for real.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yes.

- The Black Plague, Val?

An allergy to oxygen?

Elm blight?

Only trees get Elm blight, Elm trees.

- Can I sum it up?

You cheated on me, you lied, you dumped me.

Business.

We're here to discuss business.

- That's right.

- Can we discuss it?

- I wanna keep this absolutely on a professional level.

- Absolutely.

I think that we should rework the script a little bit

because I think it doesn't have to be middle-aged people.

We could make the character of Kelly Swain,

you know, maybe coming out of college instead.

- That's true.

You mean out of law school?

- Out of law school, yeah.

I think they'd like that at Galaxie.

That way we could cast somebody like Terry Tyler.

- Great.

- Or maybe find, there's a lot of talented kids out there.

You are such a shallow jerk!

I can't get my mind around it.

That you would leave me for a guy

who is the opposite of everything I am.

You know, with his ski lodge in Aspen

and his collection of vintage cars.

If I drove around in a 1939 Mercedes,

people would think I was Himmler.

- Hal's very smart, and he's a brilliant deal maker.

- Yes, I know.

He's been audited by the best.

- He has made some pretty financially

successful American films.

- That should tell you all you need to know about him.

He's the white line down the middle of the road.

- You had your little flirtations too.

There was that, that Italian model.

- No.

You were the only one that I was serious with.

My God.

Until you suddenly became non communicative,

non responsive and you dumped me.

The movie is going to be a fun movie to do, I think.

Um, and I have a lot of ideas

that I think we should discuss.

- Good, absolutely.

I just wanted to assure you

that once the studio agreed to you,

you'll have their full support and.

- Well, thank you very much.

I want a, I think I want a foreign cameraman.

- That's no problem.

- Because they get a texture into the work

that you would never get with an American cameraman.

They have a certain mobility.

I remember coming home and I picked up the extension

and there you are on the other end

of the extension with this guy.

I'm calling and I hear my wife in a lovey-dovey

with her lover, saying she misses her lover.

- He wasn't my lover yet.

- Bull, he was your lover.

What are you telling me?

And I recognize the voice.

It's Hal Yeager from Galaxie Pictures.

And I'm thinking to myself,

why is my wife talking like that to Hal Yeager for?

They're making me a surprise party.

I thought they were making me a surprise party.

- Were they?

- No, she was having an affair with Hal Yeager.

Follow the story.

Jesus, I can't believe this--

- I'm getting out of here.

- Wait a minute, where are you going?

We're discussing a movie.

- No, I'm sorry.

I just--

What about--

- I'll be back and forth from L.A.

and I won't bother you

and I'll see to it that nobody gets in your way creatively.

What about Denise Daniels as the blackmailer?

- Possibly, if you like.

- I think she would be great.

You know what I mean?

Or Sarah Bedloe.

She would be very interesting.

She, I pick up the phone and she's talking,

I'm going to order a corn beef sandwich,

she's talking to her lover on the phone.

- Look, I'll be back from L.A. in two weeks--

- This is gonna be a fun picture.

- Production will be great, we're all very excited.

- I'm looking forward to it.

About Hal Yeager, the word on him is cross-dresser.

Check it out for me.

I pick the phone up and she--

- Hal, we're off to a really good start here.

Tell me about it, honey.

- Val wants to use a foreign cameraman,

which I think we should give him.

He's got a real visual concept

of where he wants to go with this thing.

Now he's chosen Kow Chan, a Chinese cameraman,

done some really stunning work, mostly with the Red Army.

- He says he doesn't like his hotel.

He much prefer the Sherry.

- Hal, listen.

Val wants to go with Elio Sebastian as art director.

Val says that Elio really knows the streets of New York.

- Every location in the script

is out there waiting to be found.

- This is great, it saves us a fortune.

- With the exception of two, Times Square and Harlem.

I have to build Times Square and Harlem.

- We can't build Times Square and Harlem.

With all due respect, Sebastian.

- He wants to build the Empire State Building?

No.

- Just the first 20 stories.

- Absolutely not.

No, sweetheart.

It's not gonna happen, okay?

Just tell him no.

It's not gonna happen.

- All right, I'll handle it.

- Good, great.

Hey, listen, I miss you.

How's the weather back there?

- It's been great, you know?

It's been really New York-moody.

Very gray and cloudy.

- That's the way it is.

- Today's the first day of sun we've had in awhile.

- Well, listen, here it's been fabulous.

Sunny and clear every day.

Oh, listen, I gotta run.

I'm having another skin cancer removed.

- This is perfect.

This view is absolutely perfect.

- No, no.

I hate it.

You know what, we're just gonna have to build it.

Build Central Park?

- Yeah, you know, I take back what I said before about

mixing real locations and sets.

- I don't wanna be a money watchdog here,

but if you did build everything,

I say this metaphorically,

it'd have to be done over my dead body, metaphorically.

- All right, if not the whole park, then just the reservoir.

- Build the reservoir?

- Uh-huh. You know what?

You get a studio, put a tank in it

and you fill it with a couple thousand

gallons of water, It'll work.

And then, wait, trees behind it, you know?

New York as a symphony in green.

- Green I hate.

I never use green.

- No, no green.

- You know what?

Tell Mother Nature, okay?

Trees are green.

- We can play it for the winter.

You can use snow.

- I buy that.

A white background to set off the two leads,

and marvelous '40s red.

- What, what?

What is he saying?

What?

- He says no white, no white.

He cannot shoot white background.

- Sebastian, what have you gotten me into here?

- All I'm saying is that I think

you're being precipitous in firing him.

Look, I never wanted this guy.

Not from day one.

- Hal.

- I beg your entire pardon.

May I just offer for your consideration,

a single concept, and I say this--

- Val, you don't have to stand up,

you don't have to lean into the speaker.

Look, he's out.

I want this guy out before

this picture becomes a cost nightmare.

- Look, Hal, I think that maybe if we had a talk with him.

I said from the start to use Harold Pappas.

- Pappas is a hack.

Pappas is safe, but he's uninspired.

I can't work with him.

Then you should bow out now.

- I said I can't work with him,

I didn't say I wouldn't with him.

val, I don't mean to get hot under the collar,

but Pappas has how many nominations

compared to this Greenwich Village lunatic?

- They probably spent more money getting

those nominations than he'll spend building a reservoir.

What, I didn't get that.

- That's nothing, nothing, Hal.

I gave in on the Chinese cameraman okay.

I've kept away from your picture.

I'm just saying I'd feel more secure with Pappas.

- A word to the wise.

- Is there anything about the part of Benny

that you want to tell me before I read it?

- Only that he's a Broadway sharpie, he's a gambler.

- Like Sky Masterson?

- Perfect, exactly.

- Now, forgive me,

it might seem obvious, but he's a Runyonesque,

bookmaker-type, uh, is tough,

but softhearted with his wife who he's nuts about?

- That's it on the nose.

That would be perfect.

- Okay.

Go.

- Jerry, some guys were over the house looking for you.

Seems you owe some money.

- I hope you didn't tell them anything, Helen.

I could find myself in deep trouble.

Deep, deep trouble.

- Thank you.

- Hi.

I'll wait for you.

If they give you 30 years, I'll be waiting.

If they give you 50 years, I'll be waiting.

If you get two consecutive life sentences,

I'll be waiting.

- I thought that last girl was kind of interesting.

Did you?

- Really?

- I thought she read it better than the others.

- I know, but Claire's supposed to be classy.

Didn't you think she was a little on the cheap side?

- Cheap?

- To be perfectly honest, I thought she radiated stupidity.

- Stupidity?

- I mean, her reading was competent enough,

but, my God, it's like her persona, it's trashy and dumb.

- Well, you know, I think I'd like to use her.

She was interesting.

- You're the director.

- It's not that big a part, Ellie.

- But it's a featured role.

Claire's supposed to be a socialite, for God sakes.

This girl, Lori Fox, she's like a step above trailer park.

- Well, I would hardly call her trailer park.

- I said a step above.

- Well, I'd like to use her.

I thought she was perfect for the role.

- Fine.

I mean, it's your decision.

I'm just throwing out ideas here.

You can take 'em or leave 'em.

- Two for Yeager, please.

- They're clearing your table, Mr. Yeager.

- Thank you.

- I am so glad that you could come in, I really am.

- I was here on business and I wanted an excuse to see you.

I didn't want you to think I was crowding you.

- I know you, you know.

You're checking up on me.

Everything's going really fine.

It is.

- And val?

- Val's Val.

He seems reasonably flexible.

Most of his ideas are really good.

- I hope so.

- You'll see.

- Right this way.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

- There are no personal feelings that make it seem awkward?

- No, no.

I think he's accepted things and moved on.

- Good, good, oh by the way, Andrea Ford's going

to be covering the making of the film for Esquire.

- Oh, no kidding.

- Yeah.

- Hey, Val.

We were just talking about you.

Hey, Val.

Ellie was telling me how well things are going.

How are you?

Good to see you.

Everything all right?

- What are you doing here?

- What do you mean, what am I doing here?

- No, what are you doing here at this moment?

- We used to eat here.

- Hal came in on a plane a few hours ago.

- That's the best way to fly.

What are you doing in this restaurant at this moment?

- What do you mean?

We're coming in to get a bite, are you all right?

You're awfully fidgety or something.

- No, no, no, no.

- What are you doing?

Are you okay?

- Yes, no, I'm fine.

I was just thinking you should

go to your table because it's crowded here.

- I'm ready to go.

- Look, it's the woman that was at the audition today.

Miss, hello miss.

- That's very funny.

Aren't you going to introduce me?

- It's Lori Fox, isn't it?

Yes, of course.

- I think it was.

- Yes.

Val is such a riot.

Stop kidding around.

I just, I really wanted to put your mind at ease

that just because I'm the director's significant other,

I can still act.

- Hi.

- Hal?

- Hey, Mort, how are you?

I thought you were in Aspen.

- I wish.

- You know Ellie, my fiancée?

- Hi, how are you?

- Hi, I'm Lori Fox.

- Fiancée?

- Nice to meet you.

- Congratulations, when's the date?

- New Year's Eve.

- My goodness, how romantic.

That's wonderful.

- Congratulations on your new film.

- You know Val Waxman.

- Of course.

Sure.

- Fiancée?

- We sued him for failure to complete a picture.

- Oh great, that makes me feel secure.

- I'll see you tomorrow, Val.

- Hurry!

I'll miss my flight.

- This is not a good time for you to go away.

You know I'm very vulnerable.

- If I'm gonna be in this movie, I have to get into shape.

This spa is the only way I'll ever have the discipline.

- But you're not overweight.

- Oh, my God!

I'm a horse.

I have to appear in lingerie.

- What if we need you?

It's a ten-week shooting schedule.

My scene doesn't come until the very end.

- What if I need you?

I'm going through a bad time.

- You'll be fine.

You'll be fine, you're a big boy.

- Oh, geez.

You know, I'm afraid to sleep alone.

I keep thinking people are breaking in.

I lay awake all night

thinking of death and the blackness and the abyss.

- Oh, oh, don't forget to water my cactus.

- Call me every day.

- I can't, they don't have any phones at Dolby Ranch.

They want to discourage secret eating schemes.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Okay, I gotta go.

Gotta go!

And we want to see the earrings, profile.

Other profile, please.

And cut.

Thank you.

- Is it true your cameraman speaks only Chinese?

- Yes, Mandarin.

It's so hard to find a good Cantonese cameraman these days.

Neighborhoods just don't have them anymore.

- Oh yeah.

Hal Yeager's known to be very hands-on,

very hot-tempered, quick to replace people.

- Does that bother you?

- No, because the deal is

they're going to leave me alone during the shooting.

I have complete freedom.

- How about working so closely with your ex-wife?

- Well, it's not so close.

She'll just be up and back.

It's not going to be that close.

- Well, there must be some bitterness.

Especially now that she's going to marry Hal Yeager,

the man she left you for who's now your boss?

- Who are you?

- Oh, I'm Andrea Ford.

I'm going to be doing the story

on the making of the movie for Esquire.

- Oh, really, are you?

- Yeah, yeah.

Didn't they tell you?

I'm going to be observing the whole time.

- 'Cause I don't usually like, you know,

when journalists hang around the set

and observe when I work.

- Take that up with the press department.

But don't worry, 1 won't get in your way.

I promise, I am a huge fan.

- Yes?

- Oh, huge.

I have loved all of your movies.

- Oh, well, you know.

And you'll be hanging around doing a story here?

- Yes, because, in fact, I've always

thought of you as a unique American artist really.

- Well, I'm sure you won't be in the way here.

You know, there's plenty of room and you can have--

- Val, hey, gosh, I'm so sorry.

Can I steal him for a minute?

- I really was about to--

- Some things we have to go over.

I'll get him right back to you.

I'm so sorry, in one minute.

I'm so sorry, you need to be careful.

She is a killer.

- She's a killer?

- I didn't think it was a good idea

having her around all the time.

But then the press department told Hal

that they could get the cover of Esquire and so--

- How is she a killer?

She loves me.

- Well, that's fine.

I mean, if she likes you, you know.

Otherwise, she can be biting.

- Really?

- I hear she's all sugar and sweetness,

and gets into your good graces and then wham!

She kept telling Sean Madigan how she

loved all of his films and she was a big fan.

How he was a great, I don't know, unique American artist.

- Really?

- And then in the profile, she disemboweled him.

- You know, if you happen

to fall for that kind of flattery--

I can handle it, though.

- Please, you couldn't handle Shirley Temple.

- Give me a break, will ya?

You know, I can't figure it out.

It's okay to have an affair with Hal Yeager,

but you know, everyone is entitled

to have one psychotic episode in their lives,

but to marry the guy is--

- Honestly, I wouldn't talk if I were you.

- What does that mean?

- I don't know.

How long have you been living with that wind-up doll I met?

- You know I don't like to sleep alone.

For God's sakes, I'm not going to marry her.

And that wind-up doll happens to have a Ph.D.

- In what?

History of gym?

- Hey, look.

Will you give me a break with the cutting remarks?

I got a picture to do Tuesday.

I'm thinking about my work.

- All right.

I want you to get some rest this weekend, okay?

And don't lie around the whole time worrying

about everything that could go wrong.

- Don't worry.

I'm not going to lie around.

I've got my hand on the wheel, honey.

This picture's in the bank.

- Amanda, honey, who is it?

- I don't know.

Uncle Al, it's for you.

- Please, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- A man or woman?

Hello?

- Al, you gotta get over here right away.

- Why, what's wrong?

I'm at my sister's for a Seder.

- Al, you gotta get over here.

This is a matter of life and death.

It's open, come in!

- What is it?

What's going on?

What am I doing here?

- Al, I'm going to try to explain this to you.

I came home, and 1 started to make notes

on the script, you know,

because we shoot Tuesday and I wanted, you know,

then I started to get nervous.

So, I sat down on the sofa,

and I was doing my deep-breathing exercises,

just to stay calm, you know?

And it was working, and I started to relax and dose off

Then I slept for a while.

Then I woke up, Al and I can't see anything.

- What?

- I'm blind.

I'm blind, Al.

What?

- I'm blind, I'm blind, I can't see.

- What do you mean, you can't see?

- What do I mean what do I mean?

Those guys in the street

with the dark glasses and accordions?

- What are you talking about?

Are you trying?

- Al, you can't try and see.

You look around and you see or you don't see.

I don't see.

- How can you be blind?

- How the hell do I know how I can be blind?

I'm, Al, I'm scared.

What did you eat?

- What's the difference what I ate?

You can't lose your vision from a plate of tofu.

I never heard of anything like this.

- Yes, I did.

Remember the actor Harvey Gates?

Yeah?

- He lost his vision suddenly.

From what?

- Grapefruit.

Grapefruit?

- Yes, he had a tumor the size of a grapefruit on his brain.

And he went blind?

- Yes, he went blind and a few months later he went dead

which is worse than blind 'cause your options decrease.

- Relax.

You don't have a brain tumor.

- Al, with all due respect

I have to hear that from somebody

who went to a greater medical school

than the William Morris agency.

- We'll get you to Dr. Mason.

You still use Mason, right?

- No, Mason dropped dead on the treadmill.

I use Koch.

- You know, I use Koch too.

Did you bump into anything?

Did you fall?

Did you bump your head or something?

- I didn't bump my head.

Nothing, Al, I got a brain tumor.

That's the story here.

I, the end is in sight.

I see the wall.

I thought you said you couldn't see.

- It's an expression.

I don't actually mean I see a wall.

It's in my mind's eye.

- Listen, I remember that Ellie

and I took you to the hospital,

you insisted on taking you to the hospital

because you were convinced you had hoof-and-mouth disease.

- Oh, God, Ellie!

Look, if I die, Al,

tell Ellie I'm sorry I said all those things to her.

I said terrible things to her.

I called her all kinds of names.

Probably because I never stopped loving her.

You're not dying.

- Well, if I don't die, tell her

she's a tramp and she's living with a guy

the best you could say

about him is sometimes he returns phone calls.

Oh, Dr. Koch.

It's Al Hack here.

I'm sorry to call you at home on holiday,

but I'm sitting here with Val Waxman--

- Okay, you can sit back now.

- So, what is the story?

- Well, your optic nerve is normal.

Your eye exam is normal.

I don't see anything.

- Wonderful.

- You don't see anything?

I don't see anything either.

That's the problem.

- Any tumor large enough to impact

on his vision so dramatically would show up.

I only wish I was in as good health as he is.

- This is a textbook scenario.

Physically, you're 100 percent.

But just like someone who has an hysterical paralysis

a patient who's fine but he can't walk,

or a patient who loses his or her voice,

from witnessing a horrible shock or any extreme,

stress-related trauma,

being a film director, your inner-conflicts

have chosen to express themselves

in this very telling fashion.

You're psychosomatically blind.

- How can I get rid of it?

- By treatment.

By understanding the roots of your conflict.

There's every chance that this blindness will go away.

- How quickly?

- Well, real growth is always very slow.

- There goes my comeback.

- You cannot breathe a word of this to anybody.

- I gotta tell 'em, Al.

You know, I just dread telling Ellie.

- Are you nuts?

They'll fire you.

- Fire me?

I obviously can't direct the picture.

- What are you talking about? How can you blow this shot?

- What are you talking about, I'm blind.

- Nobody knows.

- What the hell does that mean? What are you suggesting?

- If you pull out of this project now

because psychological stress

has caused you to lose your sight, you'll never work again.

They'll burn your union card.

Maybe they could postpone it.

- Oh, yeah, because you're blind?

Val, direct this picture and bring in a hit

or I leave you with two words, homeless man.

I can't direct, how can I--

- I'm telling you how.

You're going to muddle

your way through until your sight returns.

- Al, I can't direct a picture.

I'm blind.

- Have you seen some of the pictures out there?

- The first five minutes they'll catch me.

- Maybe they will, maybe they won't.

If they do, you're no worse off than if you confess,

because you're finished in the business anyway.

- You gotta be joking.

I'll take one step on the set, I'll break my neck.

- No, no, no.

I'll come with you.

- They won't let you.

The actors get nervous when agents hang around.

It's against Galaxie policy.

- Listen.

Once you get on the set,

you get relaxed, you won't even need me.

- There's no way to do this.

I would have to take somebody into my confidence.

- Absolutely not.

No, never, not a hint.

This can't get out.

You will direct a hit picture.

Sometimes God works in strange ways.

- Like Job.

Notes on Making of The City That Never Sleeps.

First morning atmosphere is upbeat.

Lots of eager anticipation.

People moving lights.

Actors and actresses all ready in costume and makeup.

Val Waxman is not the first one on the set.

Actually, a few minutes late.

- This is never going to work.

- It's working perfect, just stand straight.

- Am I going to bump into anything?

- No, no, no. I'll I guide you.

You don't trust me, you have to trust me.

- I gotta look funny.

- You look perfect, I'm telling you, you look perfect.

Look at this, how wonderful, nice.

- Good morning.

Would you like anything?

Any coffee?

- Coffee.

Want some coffee?

- Coffee.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no thank you.

- Okay.

Well, the actors are here

if you're ready to block the scene.

- Block the scene?

- Yes.

- Listen, Val.

Are you okay with the changes in the set?

- Oh, the set.

It's beautiful, it's beautiful. It's great.

- How do you feel about the background color?

You satisfied?

- It's blue and, you know, brown and yellow,

but is it a little dark?

- Beg your pardon, who are you?

- I'm Al Hack, I'm his agent.

- Al, can I speak to you a second?

- Yeah, uh, I'll be right back.

Don't worry, I'll be right back.

IN - Al? es, yes, yes?

- Not that you're not welcome here.

You know I love you.

- Yes, yes.

- But, you know, this is a closed set.

- Oh, well, you see, he really needs me.

He likes me to be with him.

- I know, but a man of your stature,

an agent, you know, it intimidates people.

You look so good.

Have you had any work done?

- Just over here.

- A little?

'Cause I, who did you go to?

Not that I need it, but I'm thinking about it.

- Fred, Fred.

He's new.

- Oh, he's incredible.

You got the best clients.

Can you get me a price?

- I think that we may be like a little bit too light.

Would you prefer that I take

the whole thing one shade darker?

- Eh, well, that's a possibility.

What do you think, what would you do?

- Well, I really don't know.

It's possible I could make

the whole thing match the upholstery.

That's another option.

- That's brilliant.

That's what I would do.

I would match the upholstery.

- Excuse me.

Chief, what alarm clock would you like to go with?

- That one.

- Which one?

- That one, that one.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry?

- Yes.

- Which?

- Yes that one, that one, yes, yes.

- You like the wind up or the electric?

- The wind up, wind up.

I like the wind-up.

- Val?

Val, excuse me, will you excuse me, gentlemen.

Can I see you just for a second?

Don't worry.

Excuse me, excuse me.

- Al, this is not working.

- Yes, don't worry.

Don't worry, it's going to work fine.

But you're right.

It is a closed set, and I have to leave.

- You--

- Listen to me, listen to me.

Just go to Plan B.

- What is Plan B?

We don't have a Plan B.

- We gotta find somebody who you trust who will help you.

Someone you can rely on.

- You mean, tell someone the truth?

- Yes, yes, somebody you can rely on.

We'll get somebody who's around you all the time.

Who doesn't look odd, you know?

Maybe the A.D?

What about the script girl?

- Can't do that.

They'll get in trouble.

If they get caught they'll never work in the business again.

I have a responsibility, Al, to Ellie and even to Hal.

- You have a responsibility to yourself.

- You have agent's ethics.

I can't go by you.

- Don't hit me with oxymoron's at this time.

We're in a crisis!

Wait a minute.

What about the Chinese kid?

- The translator?

- Yes, the translator, the translator.

He's a business student at NYU, right?

He doesn't care if he's in the movie business.

If he gets caught, it's no big penalty.

- Well, he is always around me.

- Yes he is.

- It's a natural.

- Yes, see?

Val, I've got the actors.

We are ready for you.

- Don't worry, don't worry.

I'll get you to the set.

Take it easy, just take it easy,

I'll take you. I'll take you.

It's all right, it's gonna be fine.

- If I'm acting so crazy,

everyone will notice that I'm acting crazy.

- Listen, you got a reputation for being crazy.

This is the perfect time for it to work in your favor.

Watch out, one step, one step, one step.

Very good.

Hey, can I have Mr. Waxman's chair here?

- Chair?

- The director needs his chair, where is it?

Thank you very much.

Here, come sit.

Look, your lucky chair.

- Oh wonderful.

Sit, sit, sit, be relaxed.

Very good.

Good luck.

- I can't work with outside people watching me.

- Nobody's gonna be watching.

- Incidentally, you like this one or this one?

- I like that one.

- This one?

- 'Cause this one's more like

what they'd really use, but this one's more theatrical.

- Well, you know, you can use this one if you'd like.

But I prefer that one.

- Which one?

- This one, that one.

- The first or the second?

- I'd like to make my entrance from the stairs.

- Hold it.

What, who ordered, who ordered?

What's happening?

- How do you want me to kiss her?

What's happening here?

- Which way did you want me to kiss her?

- What?

You know, on the mouth.

- What about my mouth?

- No, kiss her on the mouth.

- He hasn't seen here for six years.

We originally discussed some kind

of passionate way of grabbing her.

- Oh, well, use both lips.

- Oh, excuse me.

Could I talk to you just for a second?

- Me?

- Yeah, just for a minute.

- Uh, they need me.

- Well, actually, the director.

The director asked me to talk to you.

- Mr. Waxman?

- Yes, it's a chance to make some extra salary.

Now, you seem to be a very responsible young man.

Are you?

- You should move left.

- You got me doing two things at once here.

I can't work if I don't know what you want me to do.

- You should cross left.

- Wait, me?

You mean my left?

If I cross my left, I'm going to bump right into him.

- You don't have to bump me.

- I'm probably going to knock him over.

- Where is the translator?

Excuse me, he's supposed to be on set.

- Sir, I have a very important message for you.

- Important message for me?

- Um, I'm here to help you.

I know about your secret.

- Don't!

- Cut!

Very good, that was terrific.

Was it very good, was it very good?

- Well, I don't see the dramatic impact of it.

But it did seem a little improvement

from the random chaos you were encouraging.

- Oh, oh, thank you, thank you.

You didn't like the random chaos, huh?

Let's, can we go again?

Just for safety, one more?

- Okay, sir, we're approaching a hallway right now.

So we're gonna walk slowly.

There's nobody here.

Practically nobody.

- Okay.

- Be careful.

- I'm trying to be casual, but it's extremely difficult.

- Oh, I know that--

- Sorry, boss, you all right?

- Yes, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.

It was my fault completely.

I forgive you.

- Sir, he's gone.

He's not there anymore.

You're talking to air.

- Why didn't you warn me?

- I thought you saw him.

This is very weird for me.

- You thought I saw him?

How am I--

- A few summers ago I did aid a deaf uncle.

- You're going too fast.

- Okay, slowly, slowly.

It's very weird.

I was helping out a deaf uncle a few summers ago.

- Yes.

- But we didn't have to hide it like this.

- Oh, Jesus, this is great.

- Val, you wanna go with this one tomorrow or the big one?

- Uh, well--

- Wow, these are beautiful pocket watches.

- Thanks.

- I would go with the big one.

- Val, um, how'd you feel the first day went?

- The first day was, you know, like the first day.

It was like a shakedown where you weed out the malcontents.

- Oh, good.

I'd love to speak to you for a few minutes

if you're not too busy and all.

- Well, sir, you said you wanted

me to show me that, uh, piece of jade?

- Jade?

- No, you know what?

If you have work to do we'll do this some other time.

- I do, yes, I do.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

Sorry, sir.

That's all I could think of to extricate you.

You realize there's no piece of jade.

- Yes, I get it, I get it.

There's no jade.

- Hey, everything okay?

- So far our conspiracy has gone undetected.

- Perfect, perfect.

I'm taking you to your shrink right now.

Listen, same drill tomorrow, Chou.

- Don't worry.

I'll practice casual banter.

- Very good, good.

Nice to see you.

To observe Val Waxman directing

one would think he has no idea what he's doing.

I wonder if he is one of those cinema geniuses

who thrive on chaos, like Fellini.

He always seems distracted.

He never looks anyone in the eye,

and must be juggling a million things in his mind at once.

It's easy to see why his reputation is

one of an eccentric.

I notice, too, as the weeks go by

what a great interest he has in the photography

as he is always conferring

with the cameraman through his translator.

- How were they?

How were the dailies?

- You forget, sir.

I'm not a film student, hence, a poor judge.

I study business, and as an investment, sir,

I wouldn't invest--

- He says he cannot understand

what it is you're trying to do, sir.

He thinks it's very odd.

- Well, how were the performances?

I wouldn't know, sir.

But you could hear them, right?

Or is your hearing faculty breaking down as well?

- My hearing is fine.

But are they making too many faces or,

what about the scenes where there's no dialogue?

How's the action?

- Well, I understand the actions,

but that's because I've read the script.

But, sir, I must confess, be careful, the steps.

There is a strong sense of incoherence.

- Incoherence?

That's great.

That's exactly what I'm going for, is incoherence.

- Well, how were they?

- I'm happy, they were great.

- Which take was best of the robbery scene?

- The last one. - The first one.

- The first part of the last one

is better than the last part of the first one

but the middle take's probably the most overall.

- I smell magic here.

- How's it going?

- It seems to be going all right?

He spends a lot of time conferring

with his cameraman through the translator,

and that takes time, but I got my foot on the pedal.

Pedal to the metal.

- Well, put him on, will you?

- Oh, yeah, I'll find him.

- Hey, Carol.

Send some flowers to Haley Joel Osment with a card.

You know, congratulations

on your Lifetime Achievement Award.

- It's Ellie, she wants to talk to you.

- Hello?

- Hi, I hear it's going pretty well.

- Oh, yes, as far as I can see.

- Well, good, listen.

I'm gonna come in next week,

maybe take a look at some dailies?

- No, I wouldn't do that.

- I've stayed away for the first half of the film.

I sort of.

- Well look, nobody sees my dailies

except myself and the cameraman.

That's our deal.

- Well, you used to always ask

my opinion on the dailies, you know.

- Those days are over, honey.

That was when you were a sharp New Yorker.

You know, anyone with an herbalist doesn't my dailies.

As filming reaches the halfway mark

rumor has it that Sharon Bates, the leading lady,

has developed a crush on Val Waxman.

He seems to resist personal contact with anyone

but today she insisted he visit her dressing room.

- Excuse me.

I'll see you later and we'll discuss it, okay?

- Yes, don't go far.

Okay, I'll be right here.

- So, I understand that you

wanted to talk about something with me.

- Can I be frank?

- Oh, yes, of course.

- I'm having a real problem working with you.

- Problem working with me, why?

- Well, uh, I feel something unspoken

has developed between us.

Something developed between us?

Like what?

- Well, it might be my imagination,

but the way you look at me,

it's like you're making love to me with your eyes.

- My eyes?

- Look, I'm a very direct person.

When I start having feelings about someone,

I don't hold back.

- You know, I thought we were gonna discuss the character.

I thought maybe you were having

trouble getting into the role or something.

- Am I making you nervous?

- No, you know, I've had a tough day out there.

A lot of tough decisions,

and so I'm, you know, a little frazzled maybe, but I'm fine.

- Come here.

- Just, you know.

- Come here, why don't you sit on the sofa with me?

- Just for a minute.

- The sofa?

- Yeah.

- Oh, oh, really?

The sofa, the sofa, yes, okay.

- The sofa.

I just, I really want your full attention.

- The sofa's fine.

- Oh, I don't need a throw pillow.

I'm comfortable.

- If I trust a director to direct me,

I trust him to make love to me.

- Oh, well, just let me say this.

I'm a big believer in that, but not while I'm working

because I never like to mix business with pleasure.

Because I'm, you know, I'm a dedicated artist,

and like a Trappist monk,

I feel the best way to do a good picture

is to abstain till the shooting is over,

because, you know, it's my adoration of the cinema.

Cinema is a jealous mistress,

and so I'm, I, you know, I'm, that's just the way I am.

But we can table our, we can wait

till after the shooting's over--

- What are you doing?

- Me?

Oh, oh, oh, when I feel emotionally moved in some way,

some people smoke, I fondle walls.

- I understand completely.

- It's just a crazy.

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

- No, I'm not upset, I understand.

This happens on the set.

- I just, if I act, if I act

with a fine director like yourself,

there's nothing I wouldn't do sexually for him.

- Oh, well, you should take a full-page ad

in the D.G.A. magazine stating that

because you'll never stop working then.

Um, is it possible to open the door for me?

All the heavy breathing has steamed my glasses.

Am I close?

Yes, so we'll talk again like this.

Thank you, Al?

Al?

This time is different.

What do you mean?

This time it's my father.

- Johnny.

Your father!

You can't kill your father!

- They want him dead!

What am I supposed to do?

- But he's your father!

- I'm doing my job.

You get a hold of yourself.

He's got it coming like anybody else.

- This is great, this is great.

That's exactly where it should be.

- No, I think if you put the camera there,

it's the wrong direction.

The audience will think she's looking

at the wall, not her lover.

- I know screen geography.

Chan, am I right?

Is that where it should be?

- He never understands what

the hell you're trying to do, sir.

- Uh, believe me, I know

but leave the camera where it is.

He's a genius.

- Yes.

- His style, the way he shoots.

It's so unconventional.

- Really?

- Was he difficult to live with?

- Sometimes.

- As the second missus,

did you consider yourself a young trophy wife?

- Andrea, I thought this wasn't a gossip piece.

- Oh, no, I'm just curious how you two met.

- At the Golden Globes.

- Oh.

- I was there with a date,

and I thought it was interesting

that when he won he thanked his urologist.

- Next time, try and warn me before I fall.

- I was trying to tell you,

but the journalist was around and--

- Hey, gosh, are you okay?

That was something.

- It's nothing, just a fractured skull.

- Listen, you wanna go grab a bite?

- I can't, Al's meeting me.

I got a very important business meeting.

- But I told you I wanted you to set aside some time

so that we could discuss things.

- It's not easy for me.

I got a lot of meetings and important things to do.

- How about a drink later then?

- I can't, maybe after the shooting.

I don't know.

It's tough for me.

- Could you, I'm sorry.

Could I just get a moment with him alone?

Thanks very much.

- Okay, you've been avoiding me since I got in.

Why?

- How am I avoiding you?

I let you see the dailies.

You saw some of them, you made no comment whatsoever.

- Well, you know, I mean, I'm not a director.

I mean, I, um, personally, I had some

difficulty making sense out of 'em.

But I assume that once they're all cut together,

you know what you want.

- They'll just be great.

They're, I like them.

- All right, so then why are you avoiding me?

- I'm not avoiding you, for God's sakes.

I, you know, I'm busy.

I got, you know, I got a lot on my mind.

- Is it about the ring?

- The ring?

The ring?

- Yeah, I mean don't pretend that you don't see it.

I know how you are on the subject of Hal and me.

- No, no.

Hey, your ring is beautiful.

I love the shape of it

and I think it's probably expensive, knowing Hal.

- I'm not wearing it.

- I know you're not wear, I knew you weren't wearing it.

- You know, because I thought it might

be what's accounting for your strange behavior.

- My behavior's fine, now if you don't stop.

Everybody's commenting on my behavior.

Remember when we got married

and we didn't have time to get a ring

and I had to go get that thing in the novelty shop?

I got that ring that squirted water as a practical joke.

- Well, little did I know that our marriage

would turn out to be God's practical joke.

- Well, you certainly stayed in it long enough.

- Hey, inertia accounts for two-thirds

of the marriages in America.

- Yeah, but the other third is love.

- You know, I think we should just stick

to talking about the filming

the last couple of weeks and post-production.

- I got nothing to talk about.

I'm waiting for Al.

Al, this guy is always late.

He is invariably late.

- Lunch, lunch.

- He's here, Al's here.

- He's so funny, so tense.

- I kid him about being late.

- He's great, he's great, I love him.

- What is his problem?

- He's firing me.

- He's firing you?

Why?

- He says he cannot work with me anymore.

He wants to find somebody else.

- I don't understand.

What's the problem?

- He thinks that something

must be getting lost in his translation

and that his work is coming out irrationally.

- Well, tell him that I love the dailies.

- But, sir, to be honest, they're not very lucid.

- Just tell him what I tell you to tell him.

- He wants me off the set.

Otherwise, he won't work.

- With all due respect to Mr. Chan, we're on the clock here.

It costs the studio approximately $150,000 a day.

Explain that to him, nicely.

- Wait.

I got a great idea.

Why don't we fire the cameraman but keep the translator?

- Now, wait, wait, hold on a second, Val.

Now, Ed's right, and that's how it's gonna be.

- I can't fire the translator.

- Why not?

- Because I can't.

- Oh, Ching.

- It's Chou.

- Chou, Chou, listen.

Who are we gonna get to replace you?

- You have no idea who the new translator will be

or even how long before they find one.

- On the way over, I was thinking about,

what about the caterer?

- Oh, no.

He has no reason to be on the set all the time.

And you said you wanted someone

who wouldn't be ruined in the business when they're caught.

- If, if, I said if.

- There really is no one.

I was quite perfect for the assignment.

- You know Ellie is gonna be around here

till the end of the, and she does suspect something.

Wait a minute.

I just need you for a private minute.

Oh.

- Al, listen.

If this is about being on the set,

you know, even if Galaxie made an exception

both of these actors, they're not gonna allow it, so.

- Come here.

Sit down, sit down.

- Why?

- Well, I need your help.

- Okay, all right.

What can I do for you?

- Well, you know this is the end

of the line for Val if he doesn't have a hit here.

- He will.

He can do this material with his eyes closed.

- Yeah.

Right.

But if for any reason he strikes out here

you know, his last hopes for a career, they're over.

- Listen, Al.

I wanna put your mind at ease.

- Yes.

- While I've seen the dailies

and they're not what I expected, I'm sure he has a vision.

Don't worry about it.

- Ah.

Look, if a problem came up,

a little problem where he needed a little support,

a little behind-the-scenes support

just for the last several weeks

- Sure, yeah, okay.

I'm starting to get that Val Waxman chill.

What's going on?

- Could I level with you?

- Yeah.

- No, I mean, I mean, really level.

I mean, pull no punches.

- What is it, Al?

- Well, it's nothing that can't be dealt with.

He's just, he's blind.

- You wanna be serious?

Because I gotta tell you, we're already behind schedule.

This has been crazy.

The cameraman threw his little fit

and I'm losing my sense of humor

because things are going crazy now.

- He's blind.

He can't, he can't see at all.

But don't panic.

It's, it's not a tumor.

It's not a disease of the optic nerve.

It's not permanent.

It's, it's, it's--

- What is it?

- It's a psychological disorder.

It's psychosomatic.

- Oh God

- Sometimes that happens.

People get paralyzed or they

can't speak because of a trauma.

- This is not happening, this is not happening, Al.

- He is on the set right now faking it

but he's gonna need someone

to help him get through the rest of the picture.

- The rest of the picture?

- Yes, yes, yes.

- What are you talking, how long has this been going on?

- Since day one.

You know the Chinese translator?

He's been the secret agent up till now.

But now he's gone,

and we're gonna need somebody that he can trust

who'll stay close to him and won't look suspicious.

- Wait a second.

You're telling me that he has directed everything

up to this point blind?

- Shh.

No one has any idea.

He didn't want his career destroyed forever

by another disaster story about his work problems.

No one knows and that's

because of the translator and because of me.

- Okay.

And no one must find out.

I mean, I'm serious, Al, nobody.

Not anybody on the crew,

not the drivers, not the actors.

- No.

- Not anyone from Galaxie Pictures.

- Yes, I knew you'd understand this problem.

- Oh, God.

May the day June 19 rot in hell for all eternity.

- Well, is that the day you married Val?

No, it's the day he was born.

- Don't get upset, don't get upset, please.

- No wonder he's been avoiding me and acting so strange.

- He didn't want anybody to know.

- That self-destructive, psychosomatically blind.

That hypochondriacal neurotic.

And I say that really with all due respect.

- You campaigned for him to get this job.

- No one must know.

- I understand that.

But what you have to do is you have

to be his eyes for these last couple of weeks.

- Mellowed, you've grown up,

no more impossible neurotic symptoms.

You know what?

I should have had my head examined.

- Ellie, I thought I had a brain tumor.

For God's sakes, be sympathetic.

- You couldn't get a tumor if you tried.

You're not mature enough.

- What do you want me to do?

If the picture fails, I go down the drain.

- If Hal ever finds out--

- Hal won't find out, we're in the homestretch.

- Well, what exactly is making you go blind?

I mean, when is it gonna stop?

Did you talk to your analyst?

What about your analyst?

You know, what did your analyst say, sit.

- He doesn't have a clue.

- No, down.

- He just doesn't know.

- Well, that's great.

That's just--

What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna edit it blind too?

Put in the music blind?

Go to the premiere blind?

At least you won't be able to read the reviews.

- Ellie, what if it doesn't leave me?

What if I stay blind?

- I don't know.

I'll be in California at my swimming pool.

You'll probably have to learn Braille,

get a dog, work the subway.

- Aren't you gonna put me to bed?

- Put you to bed?

I can't do it by myself.

Al always puts me to bed.

- Oh, God.

Val, is this project headed for disaster?

Relax, I can handle it.

For God's sakes,

Beethoven did his symphonies while he was deaf.

- You comparing yourself to Beethoven?

Hey, look, could we not get in a musical discussion now?

- I just don't understand how you could do this,

and not be thinking about anybody else.

That's the thing, I mean after all, this is my movie.

And everybody's giving their life's blood.

- Oh, give me a break.

For God's sakes, everyone's getting paid top dollar.

You're gonna marry a billionaire.

I'm the only one that goes into the toilet if things fail.

- It's funny, I just don't think

that Hal's gonna see it that way.

- Hal's not gonna know unless you tell him,

you know, during pillow talk or something.

You guys probably don't have pillow talk.

He probably has sex with you

while he's on the cellular phone.

- Okay, you know what?

You're fine.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- Hey, Ellie, don't go.

Ellie, for God's sakes, you gotta put me to bed.

You know, Al always tucks me in.

- Yeah, well, he's your agent.

There's no limit to what they do.

- Ellie, come on.

You used to be very maternal toward me.

- You were infantile, you needed it.

- Except in bed.

Then you were a hot number.

- I was a small-town girl and you were

on the cutting edge of everything.

- So how did I go from the cutting edge

to the buttering edge?

- How did I end up in a mess like this?

- Hey, this is not the first time we've been in trouble.

We've had some pretty sticky situations.

- No, not like this.

- Yes, 'cause I can recall them.

We, there, you know, it wasn't all,

we've had our, our share of situations,

no question about it.

- You mean like losing our car in a crap game?

- Absolutely, that was a disaster.

I told you at the time,

never trust a male with a fixed nose.

But you didn't listen.

You know, it was humiliating for us.

- Do you remember staying up all night

in Paris listening to jazz

and ending up in jail somehow?

- Hey, to this day I can't

figure out how you got us into jail.

- How I?

- It was the only time in my life.

- No, as I recall, it was your shoplifting.

- 'Cause you had to have chocolate croissants

and I'd left my wallet back at the hotel.

You know, you were so demanding all the time.

- No, it was your command of the language.

Never use the familiar with a policeman.

- It's funny 'cause my unfulfilled life dream

is that you and I would live in Paris together.

- You know, I was willing,

and you were the one who always lost your nerve.

- It's funny, though.

It seems like so long ago now.

It's amazing how things change, isn't it?

- Yep, they do.

And those days are over.

Look, I'll see you tomorrow.

Your agent will be over in the morning

to take you to the bathroom.

The movie is in its last two weeks.

Val Waxman's ex-wife,

who was very hands-off when shooting began,

is now very much involved.

I notice that Val relies a lot on her.

They are in constant conference.

They lunch together every day

and, I suppose, discuss the work.

She is the only one besides

the cameraman and the new translator

who Val allows to see the dailies.

- How were they?

- Really great.

Really great.

- Great, great.

- No, everything's going fine.

The, uh, the dailies are really great

and, uh, we seem to be pretty much on schedule, you know?

- Well, I must say, I had my doubts,

but you proved me wrong.

Maybe he is a new man.

- Great, really, right.

By the way, I'm coming in for the last few days.

I've got some business.

I wanna make the wrap party,

and I have to be honored at a dinner

and probably Val and I should have a private talk

about post-production, the editing,

and have our picture taken together

to dispel all those rumors that we couldn't get along.

Yeah, that's right.

Okay, all right.

Take care, can't wait to see you.

- Quick union question, Hal.

Can a hyphenate marry a below-the-line person?

- That's for legal.

- I gotta tell you my nightmare.

- I dreamt last night that Hal found out everything,

that he somehow just knew that I was blind

and that I had been blind from the beginning

and that I was directing the picture blind

with the translator's help and with your help,

and I, and in the dream, I spoke to my shrink

and I asked him how long

it would last, and he said indefinitely.

And Hal got furious with me,

and furious with you for helping me.

And I, you know, I was, it was just terrible.

I was just screaming and, you know,

God, it, I, you know.

I haven't really had a good night's sleep

in I don't know how long.

The anxiety's terrible.

- All right.

- Thanks for getting me back.

Al should be here any minute.

- Are you sure you're gonna be okay?

- I'm fine, we had some close calls today, I will say.

- Listen, I have to tell you,

I am very worried about Hal finding out.

- I told you my nightmare.

- No, you didn't.

- Yeah, I told you before, remember?

- No, you didn't.

What did you dream?

- I told you, I went into great detail.

- You didn't, you didn't tell me a thing.

- Well, it smelled like you.

- It smelled like me?

What are you talking about?

- I told you my nightmare.

I told you, didn't I?

Did I?

- No, you didn't.

What, did you, no.

- I don't know, did I?

- No, you didn't tell me, what are you talking about?

- Well, before when I was saying my nightmare in detail.

- Oh, God, Val no!

- I said my nightmare.

- No, the journalist, Andrea Ford, we wear the same perfume.

You didn't?

Oh, God.

- What are you saying, I told her?

- Did you?

- Did I?

I don't know.

- God Val, I mean if you told her, that's it.

We're so, that's it.

Oh, my God.

Lori.

- Ellie!

- Lori, look Val, it's Lori.

- Hi, Val.

- Lori?

- Yup.

- Yes, oh, I know it's Lori.

I, what are you, you're home unexpectedly.

What, you're a week early.

- I got bored.

But I'm almost ready to shoot my part.

I'm so excited.

- Yes, but this is just so completely unexpected.

- I didn't call 'cause I was so busy working out.

My God, how they drive you.

But look at me.

Don't I look great?

Look, look, it's really hard.

- Oh!

- You can hit it.

Val, will you help me with my bags please?

- The bags?

- Yeah.

Doesn't it look good?

Yeah, that one.

- No, Val, come on.

You're not gonna let your producer lug my bags for me.

- No, it's fine.

I forgot she existed.

My God.

- You can't stay here, Lori.

- What?

- No, you can't stay here

because Ellie and I have gotten back together.

- What? - What?

- Yes, we have.

We thought about it a little bit

and we felt that, uh, we had made a mistake--

- Val--

- No, no, no, I can't lie to her, Ellie.

You know, it's not fair.

She can't come with the two of us.

Three's a crowd.

- I'm speechless.

- I'm sorry.

You know, the heart is very unpredictable.

It's not like the liver or the spleen or anything,

where you--

- Am I still in the movie?

- You are.

Definitely, definitely.

- Definitely, definitely.

For sure.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, it's okay.

I'm fine with the personal rejection.

I'm really okay with it.

Thank God I kept that other apartment.

- Well, I, try and understand.

- Oh, no, no, no.

It's fine, I do, I totally understand.

I'm still in the movie, right?

- Yeah.

- You're in the movie.

Yes, you're in the movie, you're in the movie.

- Okay, here, help me with this.

Take it.

- You're in the movie.

- Val, come on.

My incense burner's in there, be careful.

- We were at my apartment

and we're in the bedroom together,

and, you know, we were reminiscing.

It was great, and I wanted so much to kiss her,

but I can't see.

- What makes you think you could have kissed her?

She's engaged.

- Look, I gotta get this blindness,

I gotta get finished with it,

because, you know, this is crazy, not just for my work,

but I wanna lead a normal life.

- Tell me about the movie.

- There's nothing to tell about the movie.

It's a little remake of a 1940s movie.

You know, about a father and son who don't get along,

and the kid grows up to be a gangster

and some people hire him to kill his father.

You have a son, don't you?

- Yeah, from a prior marriage.

- It's interesting.

It's very interesting how you never bring him up.

- Well, we don't speak.

Why not?

- Because he's got, you know, orange hair

with nose rings and nipple rings and lip rings,

and, and, and, he, he, he,

you know, he plays drums loud.

Is that any reason?

- No, but he gave a concert

and he ate a live rat at the concert.

Still.

- And he's got tattoos all over his body.

Yes.

- And we once had a discussion about music

and he threatened to push me down a flight of stairs.

What happened?

- It worked, he pushed me down a flight of stairs.

- And how were you as a father to him?

- I was fine, I was very nice to him.

I loved him, I took him to sporting events

and to the ballet and opera.

I encouraged his friends and I,

you know, let him play music and stood behind him.

And?

- And we had a discussion one day

and he shoved me down a flight of stairs.

Where's his mother?

- She's married to a millionaire in Brazil.

Very nice lady.

- So when you live with the plot of this movie every day

and it parallels the situation with your son,

how does that make you feel?

- Well, you know, I feel angry,

because, uh, I'm angry.

You know.

I always thought that when he got older

we would be very friendly

and he would have a family, and I'd be part of it.

You must miss him.

- We never speak.

- Well, you've blinded yourself to the situation.

- Hey, listen.

Can we not digress?

I'm here to discuss my psychological loss of vision.

Meanwhile, Hal Yeager's coming in a week

and I don't want him to catch me.

- No, no, no.

He'll be staying at this suite, as usual.

Now look, he's gonna have you up

for one of his man-to-man talks

which means that you'll be alone with him

for about half an hour.

All right, straight ahead.

- What if it's more than a half an hour?

- It never is.

His concentration's only good for about, sorry, my bad,

his concentration's only good for about half an hour.

He's a busy guy.

- I'm never gonna get down the hallway.

- Don't worry about it, I'm gonna meet you at the door.

Al will get you to the front door,

and then I'll get you through the front hall

down to here to the suite.

We should just, we should start.

Okay, you go straight ahead.

One, two, three, four.

That puts the first chair just to your right.

Hal's there.

- I'm lost, where should I be?

- You can't be lost yet.

You just, hold on.

If Hal's there, you come forward another two paces.

That'll be to the right of the first chair.

No, the desk is to your left,

that's right, from the first chair, four paces.

And then.

- Four paces to the desk or the left--

- But I think you should start from the first chair.

And the first chair is--

- I can't find the first chair.

No, wait.

- Where am I now?

That's the desk, that's the desk, the desk.

- The desk?

So where should I be?

- Let's see, the desk is one, two, three paces

to the left of the first chair.

Well, Hal will be in the first chair.

So I think the second sofa over here would be right.

So you continue on.

- Wait, wait, wait, I'm getting confused.

Two paces left of the first chair

of the right of the sofa or the right of the desk?

- Right, is the desk, to the left, right of the first chair.

- The left of the desk.

So I remember there's a chair on this side, right?

- Yes, that'd be the second chair.

- There's a chair over here.

One, two, three.

- Did I get it, did I get the chair?

- If I'm standing facing the first chair,

is it eight paces to the left

of the second sofa or eight paces--

- No.

- It's two paces to the desk.

- If they give you 50 years, I'll be waiting.

If they give you two consecutive life sentences,

I'll be waiting.

Cut.

- What did you think?

I knew you could do it.

I think you were great.

- Did you like what I did with my cigarette?

- With your cigarette?

- That was something, that was really something.

That's just me, but I thought it was.

- Yeah, no, no.

I thought so too.

I thought the cigarette was great too.

- Oh, good.

I rehearsed it all last night.

- Oh, it's great.

- It shows.

- Wow.

It's still so hard for me to believe

that you two are back together again.

- You know what?

We sort of like to keep that quiet.

That's just our thing.

- Oh, don't be silly.

You know, let, we, she's knows our secret.

What's with the.

Well, you know.

We let the world know.

We, you know, we should do this again

because it's gonna be a while before

I get a chance to--

- Gosh, it's like two dogs in heat.

My God.

- We gotta go to that meeting.

- No, no, no, no.

- It's good, let's.

- I was just getting started actually.

Where are you?

That was great.

- Thank you.

- Two paces past the clock is the first sofa.

- Right.

- No, no, wait.

Two pace, three paces is the first,

'cause the bureau is past the clock.

Two paces past the first clock is the--

- Here, here.

Wait, wait, wait.

- Oh, God.

- You're gonna do it.

Don't worry, four steps.

Courage, have courage.

- Okay, let's go.

I got him.

- I'll wait in the lobby.

- Hal.

- Hi.

- Ellie, would you excuse us?

I wanna have a little chat with val, man-to-man.

- Okay, sure.

I'll go make a few phone calls.

I'll see you boys later.

- So, so Ellie says things are going very smoothly.

I said I hear things are going smoothly.

- Yes, I, two, three, four.

Are things going smoothly?

- Yes, yes.

No, things are, things are fine.

- Good, good.

Sit down.

No, no, not there, over here.

Where?

- Here, on the sofa.

- On the, on the, the sofa?

The sofa is to the, to the.

- Jesus, are you okay?

- Yeah.

- My God, are you all right?

- I stumbled, I came up short.

- That's all right.

- Tell ya, it was a rough day filming.

- Okay, listen.

I'll tell ya what, let me just get you a drink, okay?

You'll be fine.

I got some terrific Irish whiskey over here.

It was a gift.

- No, no, I don't want anything to drink.

- No, no, listen, I'll tell you what.

This is gonna help you to relax after a rough day.

I insist.

- I'll be all right.

- Here you go.

- Jesus, you really are overworked.

My goodness.

So, you're happy with the dailies?

- Uh, happy.

You know, what can I say?

Everything I've seen so far has been great.

- Great, great.

And you definitely don't want me to see them?

- You know, I get so embarrassed when--

- I just thought that maybe you'd like an outside opinion.

Sometimes somebody with a little distance

can be very, very objective, you know.

- Ellie saw the dailies and she, I think she liked them.

At least she said she liked them.

- Yes, yes, I understand.

You know, I see a great deal of rough cuts.

- We're not anywheres near the rough cut stage.

I don't cut the picture as I go along.

I'm not one of those directors.

- Val, val?

- When the picture's over,

then I cut the whole thing together--

- Val.

- Yes?

- You seem distracted.

- Distracted, no.

- Yeah.

- Well, I mean, I did have a difficult day today,

but it ended happily.

- Okay, all right.

No, no, you're right.

A deal's a deal.

You know, I promised I wouldn't peek.

I know it makes you nervous,

and Ellie made it very clear to me the way you like to work.

A lot of people think we studio heads have no sensitivity

but I wanna assure you that we wanna make a good picture

every bit as much as you do.

It's just that we have to be concerned

with the realities of the marketplace.

Would you stop moving your head like that?

It's very distracting.

- Oh, no.

I'm sorry, I was just.

- Thank you.

- Just feeling a little, you know, I'm okay.

- Okay, as long as you're satisfied.

- I'm satisfied, I am, and I know you will be.

- Good, good, hey listen.

I wanna show you what we have in mind for the poster.

- The poster?

- Yeah, come here.

- Come here?

Me?

Yes, well, no, I'm coming.

The desk, the desk.

- Come here, come on, come on.

Listen, you are overworked.

I'm nervous.

- I'm impressed, you have been working hard.

What are you doing?

Have you developed some kind of nervous disorder?

- Yes, I have a little arthritis that sometimes kicks in.

- Oh.

So, you like 'em?

- Like what?

- The posters.

- Yes, yes, they're great.

- Which one?

- They're all, they're all great.

- My favorite, number two.

Oh, this is, it's just great, it's a strong graphic.

- Yeah, I knew you'd love 'em.

So if I did see 'em, I'd never tell anybody.

- See what?

- The dailies.

- No, no, see the problem is, I said before,

I get embarrassed when anyone--

- No, no, you're right.

A deal's a deal, you're right.

- You know, soon we're gonna wrap the picture

so, um, you know, we'll cut it together and then--

- Am I barred from that too?

- No, I'd just like to present

the best possible thing I can to you.

- You know, because this is a $60 million movie,

and I'm just not used to being kept

in the background like this.

Between you and me, this is my valentine to Ellie.

You know a lot of people

didn't think you and I could work together.

Personality clashes and all that personal history.

But I think if two people are really mature, yeah, hello.

- I'll let myself out.

It's okay, don't worry.

Hi, yeah, is the yacht available?

'Cause I wanna do the whole honeymoon

up and down the Amalfi coast.

But it's gotta be that yacht.

But, because that's the only yacht

that I think is romantic enough

for my honeymoon, that's why.

All right, okay, good.

You okay?

- Yes, yes, I'm.

- Come on, I'll show you out.

- Oh, yes.

- I know you've had a rough day.

Oh, the front door.

Yeah.

- Cut!

There's more, Mr. Yeager

but those few hours is a good selection.

- Okay, Wally, thanks.

Listen, this is our little secret, okay?

- Yes, sir.

- Ladies and gentlemen, the National Society

of Video Sales is proud to honor

the movie industry's man of the year,

the incomparable Hal Yeager.

- Time was we made more money

at the box office than video sales.

Now the big push we give a film for theatrical release

is really just a prelude to making it a large hit

in your over-the-counter sales.

- Boy, did they love you, you know.

I thought they were gonna lift you up on their shoulders

and carry you around the room.

- I just told the truth.

Hi.

- You're drunk.

- Oh, a little.

- A little?

- Okay, a lot.

- Definitely.

- You know, it's not easy sitting

through three hours of pure adulation.

- Frankly, I'm telling you, I don't know how you can do it.

- Well, you don't wanna rob 'em of the opportunity of, you know,

demonstrating their gratitude.

- Well, no wonder we both

have to drink so much at these affairs.

- You know, if I wasn't a little drunk,

I wouldn't bring this up.

Bring what up?

- The dailies.

What dailies?

- Val's dailies, The City That Never Sleeps.

Well, I'm hopeful, you know?

You can't ever judge a film by the dailies.

It's just a bunch of little bits and pieces out of sequence.

You really have to wait until the whole thing's been cut--

- Well, I was very disappointed.

You saw them?

That's just between us.

How?

I was somewhat disappointed.

- I can't, God, I can't believe you.

I can't, he trusted you.

- Honey, I didn't get to run a studio

by kowtowing to the temperamental demands

of every director who thinks he's Orson Wells.

- But you gave him your word

that you were not gonna do that.

- Honey, unless this guy has some vision

of how to cut this thing in his head,

we're on some very shaky ground here.

- Well, I disagree, I disagree.

You know what?

I think that the dallies are--

- The dailies are what?

Nothing makes sense.

The angles, the performances, the coverage.

There is no coverage.

- Well, I trust his instinct.

- Look, honey, this was supposed to be a nice,

middle-of-the-road, commercial picture.

That's it.

- Yeah, and the deal was also that you were not

gonna look at his work

until he was ready to show it to you.

- I gave in to those demands to please you.

That guy, I mean, he could've come in

and begged for the job

and he wouldn't have gotten it, for Christ's sakes.

- The point of this is that you said,

you said one thing to his face

and then you go right around

and do something else behind his back.

- Oh Christ, you make it sound sinister.

I'm responsible for a very huge chunk of money.

I know.

- I have a studio to run sweetheart.

- Yes, I know, I know, I know, okay.

If you're disappointed,

then I guess it's me that you should be disappointed in.

- Now what's that supposed to mean?

- Because, well, I saw some of the footage.

You know, and I was a little baffled, okay?

But you know what?

But, look, maybe I should have told you,

maybe I should have told you.

I don't know but the point is

that half of it was in the can anyway, and, look.

Listen, he's the genuine talent here, okay?

You know, who says that we're right?

The guy's a genius.

- Let's just hope he has some vision in his head

of cutting this thing together, for all our sakes.

And he never has to know I saw the dailies.

I'm not tampering, and you should've warned me.

I mean, I don't ever wanna wonder about your loyalties.

- Well.

- Oh, look, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm drunk.

Let's just, let's just call it a night.

- Okay.

- Cut!

- Val, check the gate?

Check the gate.

Thank you, everyone.

See you tonight at the wrap party.

That was a tremendous job you've all done.

Please use taxis or designated drivers.

- So I know you're happy to be leaving New York.

What is the thing you miss most about L.A?

- Miss most about L.A?

I miss my support group.

They're really helping emotionally.

I'm a member of a support group of film executives

who can't afford their own G-5s.

- Have you seen Val?

- Uh, I don't think he's here.

- Great, a director who doesn't come to his own wrap party.

- I called him at home, he's not there.

I'm worried.

- Hi, hi, Ellie!

Over here!

Oh, you have to meet them.

Excuse me, excuse me, hi.

This is Sandor.

- How do you do?

- Where's Val?

- Uh, he didn't come.

- Ooh, oh, oh, oh, my goodness.

Everybody's so sophisticated, I love it.

- Uh, I have your father here.

- You're joking.

- Tony?

- Be careful.

- Don't bump into anything.

- Tony?

- No.

- I'll wait outside.

- Tony?

- What's wrong with you, you blind?

Me, yeah.

- Psychosomatic.

How do you know?

- You never get any real things.

Here.

I'll take you to the couch.

Keep walking.

All right, turn around.

There you go.

Sit down.

Don't ask me why I came.

I didn't.

- Aren't you curious after the last couple of years?

- Well, are you gonna officially disown me?

- No, I came for the exact opposite reason.

I wanna make friends.

I was never mad at you.

- How can you say that?

You pushed me down a flight of stairs.

- I was high.

In those years I did drugs, I did acid and peyote.

- Where did you learn to do drugs?

From you,

you took all those tranquilizers and mood elevators.

- There's a big difference between that

and breaking into a drugstore

SO you can buy hashish.

- Those days are over, they were very stupid.

- You know, what happened to us?

How did we grow so far apart?

You know, we used to do things together.

We were, we were, God, you know, I played with you.

I took you fishing.

- I didn't wanna go fishing.

- I didn't take you against your will.

Then, you wanted to go fishing.

You wanted to learn the violin, I got you a violin.

- That led me to the drums.

Yes, but how did violin go to the drums?

That I've never understood.

- It's music.

- Hey, an electronic band where you rip off your shirt

and eat a live rat is not music.

- We sold out that concert.

- And don't call it a concert.

Heifetz at Carnegie Hall is a concert.

If there's a brownout, Heifetz will still be on key,

but your guitar player won't be.

- You come here to knock me?

- I came to hold out an olive branch.

- An olive branch?

What is this, the Israeli Parliament?

I'm your son.

- I know you're my son, that's what I'm saying.

I want us to, you know, to get back together again

To, you know, to go fishing.

I hate fishing.

- I don't mean literally go fishing in water.

I, you know, I'm saying that I love you

despite the orange hair

and the nose rings and the nipple rings and the tattoos.

It's no wonder I went blind.

- Can I help it if I took a quantum leap from your values?

- What's wrong with my values?

I don't understand.

I was nice to your mother.

I didn't steal anything, I never consumed any rodents.

How is your mother, incidentally?

- She's great, they're in Rio.

She has no trouble accepting me.

- Yeah, of course she has no trouble 'cause you're here

and she moved to the equator.

- I wanna be friends with you.

I respect what you've tried to do.

You have to respect my goals.

I did some dopey things.

I apologize, let's not make a big deal.

We don't have to go fishing,

but we really have a lot in common.

We're both trying to do something original,

you with film and me with a live rat.

- Oh, Tony.

Tony, Tony.

- By the way, I changed my name, it's not Tony anymore.

- It's not?

What is it?

- Scumbag X.

- Oh, that's nice.

It's much better than Tony Waxman.

I love you, Scumbag.

Events moved pretty rapidly

once the movie wrapped.

Ellie stayed in New York

and helped Val fake his way through the editing.

They spent a lot of time together,

and then, suddenly one day.

- I can see.

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie.

I can see.

- What?

-I can see, I can see, I can see.

Everything looks so beautiful to me.

The city looks so incredible.

- Val, are you?

- I can, I can see.

- Are you?

- You look so beautiful.

You look so great.

- Oh, well.

- You look so beautiful.

- Come on, I swear.

You're like a different person.

- You mean I was never pretty?

- You were always pretty, but now you're beautiful.

- Come on, I can see.

I can't believe this.

I can see, you look so beautiful.

I'm overwhelmed.

- Well, that's how it is when you

go blind for a while, you know.

Oh, Val!

Oh, my God!

- Come on!

- Call Dr. Kevorkian.

- Val.

- This is the worst,

this looks like the work of a blind man.

- Come on.

You're, you're scaring me.

I mean, I, Hal means to preview this in two weeks

to get some audience reaction and.

- The audience will

rush into the projection booth

and grab the print and hurl it into the sea.

- Here are the rest of the cards the audience filled out.

- Well, you know, they're practically unanimous.

- An incoherent, stupid waste of celluloid.

- Would you recommend this film to a friend?

Only if I was friendly with Hitler.

- These are all just terrible.

- Please stop, just stop, stop already.

- How would you improve this movie?

Arson.

- What would you say was the best moment in the film?

- That's the audience.

It's not the critics, and the reviews will be good,

and the public will get with it.

- Oh, yeah.

How would you characterize the genre?

Early American Garbage.

- Well, I'm crushed over the reception the movie's gotten.

I thought some of the reviews were particularly scathing.

I hope Val's okay.

- That's not what I wanna talk about.

- Okay.

- I got an advance copy

of the story that Andrea Ford wrote

on the making of the picture.

She hasn't even turned it in yet.

She wanted some comments from me.

I tried to talk her out of it.

- Look, Andrea Ford is a cheap tabloid gossipmonger.

I never thought it was a good idea

having her hang around on the set all the time.

- She said that Val Waxman directed the picture blind.

That all throughout the shooting

he was a victim of psychosomatic blindness.

Did I do wrong to deny that?

- Huh.

- He shot the whole picture without ever seeing it?

- Otherwise, you would have gotten the movie you wanted.

She wrote that you knew about this

and you helped him hide it.

- Only the last few weeks.

I found out pretty much after that boat had sailed.

And you didn't tell me.

- I knew you'd be apoplectic

and Val couldn't afford to lose another job,

and under those circumstances, I.

- You cared more about him than you did about Galaxie, huh?

- I truly believed he could pull it off.

- And the two of you were seen

kissing passionately on several occasions around the set.

- We were faking it.

We told his roommate that we had gotten back together

so she wouldn't move back in with him

because she'd figure out that he was blind--

- Did you fall back in love with your ex-husband?

- No.

- You know you can tell me the truth

'cause it really doesn't much matter now.

- I think I never stopped loving him.

You know that when this story hits,

he'll never be employable again.

- Well, you don't need the story.

I think the reviews pretty much took care of that.

- I wouldn't spend 30 seconds on what those critics said.

They represent the lowest level of the culture.

- No, this time they're right.

The movie is incoherent,

the performances are all over the place,

and the camera work is unfocused.

- Worse has been said about my work.

I just eat another rat.

Oh, Jesus, I hope Ellie is okay.

- I always liked Ellie.

Didn't I read that she was marrying

that quintessential neanderthal, Yeager?

- Talk about blindness.

She was right under my nose for so long,

and I didn't appreciate her.

- Blindness as metaphor.

That's great.

- Guess what?

- Guess what, what?

- The movie, your movie.

The French have seen your movie in Paris

and they say it's the greatest American film in 50 years.

- You're kidding.

- No, no, no, no.

You're being hailed as a true artist.

A great genius.

And France sets the tone for the rest of Europe, right?

Right, and I have offers for you

already to make a movie in Paris.

A love story in Paris, Paris, France.

Where they talk, they talk French, you know.

- They--

- It's like New York.

- This is the best news I, this is unbelievable.

- I love it.

- Because here I'm a bum.

- But there--

- A genius.

- A genius.

- A genius.

- Oh, thank God the French exist.

This is my life's dream, that we're gonna live in Paris.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am.

I can't believe it.

- Are you sure?

I mean, it's a really big step.

- I'm absolutely, you know, you look so beautiful.

Every husband should go blind for a little while.

Hey, you didn't forget the Dramamine, did you?