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1
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:06,174
CHRIS ROCK:
During my first season working
with the football team,
2
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,141
I had good times.
3
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:08,376
Come on, man.
Get in here.
4
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,810
For real?
Yeah, man.
5
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,047
You as much a part of this
team as everybody else.
6
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,152
* You were the girl
7
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,621
* That changed my world
8
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,656
And I had bad times.
9
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,791
(chattering, laughter)
10
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,394
* You lit the fuse
11
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,662
But I was glad it was over.
12
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,465
Just because your work
on the field is done
13
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,102
doesn't mean your job
with the team is over.
14
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,803
It's time to start
thinking about
15
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,771
what we do in the field of life.
16
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,373
So I've signed
17
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,675
the team up
for community service.
18
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,611
That's what they used
to call slavery.
19
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:47,648
I myself have always been
a big supporter of big brothers.
20
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,151
She's not talking
about the organization.
21
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,620
My... you're
a big brother.
22
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:53,587
(chuckles)
23
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,689
Let's dance.
24
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,691
So I'm bringing a rep from
25
00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,428
the Brother from Another Mother
organization to our school!
26
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,662
Brother from Another Mother?
27
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,764
Yes, they help match
enfranchised youth
28
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,699
with disenfranchised youths,
29
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:09,670
such as blacks and Latinos,
to help support and guide them.
30
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,672
Uh-huh.
What if I'm already
31
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,374
supporting some Latino kids?
32
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:17,445
Well, if you're already a
baby daddy, then you're excused.
33
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,280
Yes!
Do you get extra credit
34
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,881
if you're a baby granddaddy?
35
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,151
But the rest of you,
fill out these forms
36
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,586
so I can set you up
with appointments.
37
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,388
You, too, Chris.
38
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,357
If you want to remain
team manager,
39
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:30,391
you have to do this.
40
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,760
Even if all you do
is clean sweaty jockstraps,
41
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,795
you're just as important
as the quarterback.
42
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,797
I wish somebody would
let the cheerleaders know.
43
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,499
It's people like you, Chris,
44
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,668
that make the ghetto
a better place to live.
45
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,771
And it's people like you
that get robbed if I don't.
46
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,486
* Ah, make it funky now.
47
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:08,562
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
48
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:17,571
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
49
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:20,808
I already had a younger brother
from the same mother.
50
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,844
The last thing I wanted
was one from another mother.
51
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:27,248
Being a Brother from Another
Mother is a huge responsibility.
52
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,683
Your influence
is molding a mind,
53
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,519
changing the course of a life.
54
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,354
You could say the same thing
about crack.
55
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,322
Okay.
56
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,456
I'm proud to do it.
57
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,890
That said, I need to evaluate
58
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,726
your suitability
for this organization.
59
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:39,693
No problem.
60
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,564
Are you sexually active?
61
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,865
No.
62
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,934
Now that I'm married,
the answer's still the same.
63
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,636
Do you own
photographic equipment?
64
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,670
No.
65
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,605
Where do you keep your
photographic equipment?
66
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,342
I don't have
any photographic equipment.
67
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,544
Have you ever sold
any of your photographs?
68
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,711
I don't have any photographs.
69
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,613
Suppose you did.
70
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:00,548
Where would you keep them?
71
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,851
I don't own a camera
or any photographs.
72
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,320
If your Brother from Another
Mother came to your house,
73
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,855
what room would you spend
the most time in?
74
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,723
The living room, I guess.
75
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:10,991
Correct.
76
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:11,925
How's your relationship
with your father?
77
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,594
It's fine.
78
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,196
Where does your father keep
his photographic equipment?
79
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,734
When he was done getting
answers out of me,
80
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,404
my family started getting
answers out of a machine.
81
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,538
I want to leave
the message.
82
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,706
It has to be
a man's voice.
83
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,807
Look, I bought it,
I'll leave it.
84
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,008
Why can't I do it?
85
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,443
Because everybody hates you.
86
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,445
Everybody, be quiet.
87
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,846
I'll leave the message.
88
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,983
Hello.
89
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,551
Thank you for calling.
90
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,253
No one is available
91
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,988
to take your call right now.
92
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,456
At the sound of the tone,
93
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,857
please leave...
It's a beep.
94
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,893
What's the difference?
95
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,629
Some people are tone-deaf,
but nobody's beep-deaf.
96
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,298
Fine.
Please.
97
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,599
I'll do it again.
I-I can do it.
98
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:52,733
(all shouting)
99
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:53,734
Quiet, shh!
100
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,735
Shh.
101
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,770
(presses button)
102
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:57,905
Hello.
103
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,640
Thank you for calling.
104
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,710
No one is available
to take your call right now.
105
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,679
Please leave a message
at the sound of the beep,
106
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:06,647
and we'll get back
107
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,550
to you as quickly as possible.
108
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,951
But what if
we don't want
109
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,287
to get back to someone
as quickly as possible?
110
00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:14,622
It means you're a girl.
111
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,723
(sighs)
Be quiet.
112
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,525
I'll do it again.
(all chattering)
113
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,627
Shh! Stop moving
so much!
Stop pushing.
114
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,529
It's not my fault!
His head
is in the way.
115
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,696
Okay, shh!
116
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,632
Last time.
117
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,567
Hello.
118
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,069
No one is available
to take this call right now.
119
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,372
Please leave a message
at the sound of the beep.
120
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,807
See?
121
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:34,775
Is that good
for everybody?
122
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:35,776
Yeah, that was good.
Yeah.
123
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,312
You sound like
a white woman.
124
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,614
Get out of here before I smack
the naps out your hair.
125
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,750
Now she sounds like
a black woman.
126
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,352
If it's a murder...
127
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,586
When I was growing up,
128
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,656
talk shows were usually hosted
by old white men.
129
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,591
Mike Douglas, Phil Donahue,
130
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,361
Merv Griffin, Dick Cavett.
131
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,430
But in 1986, one woman
changed that forever.
132
00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,768
(mispronouncing):
Op-rah Winfrey.
133
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,403
"How to have
a stronger marriage."
134
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,504
Hmm.
135
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,005
And with that,
Oprah's primary fan base,
136
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,641
married working class men,
137
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,076
began to take shape.
138
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,544
CHRIS:
Well, I just got assigned
139
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,380
my Brother from
Another Mother today.
140
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,246
Hope it's not a big hassle.
141
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,749
Wish I had one.
I'd love to be a mentor.
142
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,918
To form a lifelong bond, to know
if I never did another thing
143
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,853
in my life, I'd have made
a difference in this world.
144
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,590
Which is why Greg had
the happiest pet turtle.
145
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:23,791
Why don't you sign up?
146
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:24,758
I own a camera.
147
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:25,526
So who's the kid?
148
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,628
Cleavon Barris.
Where's he live?
149
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,529
Bed-Stuy, which is weird
'cause I thought
150
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:29,697
I knew all the kids
in the neighborhood.
151
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,799
See? All black people
don't know each other.
152
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,901
That is weird. I thought all
black people knew each other.
153
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:37,671
Back at home, my father spent
the afternoon with Oprah
154
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,540
to get ready for an evening
with my mother.
155
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,079
What's this?
156
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,981
Flowers from
a white person's garden.
157
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:48,982
These are for you.
158
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,718
For what?
159
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:51,819
Because I love you.
160
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,521
That look means:
161
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,888
"Okay, what did you do?"
162
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,924
Okay, what did you do?
163
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,091
Not this.
164
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,760
You got to get out
of here, Ashley.
165
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,128
And give me
those flowers!
166
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:04,131
Go, go, go, go, go!
167
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,133
I didn't do anything.
168
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,901
(phone ringing)
I'll get it.
169
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,737
Uh-da-da-da-da-da.
170
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,872
The machine will answer it.
171
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,007
(phone ringing)
172
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,676
ROCHELLE:
Hello.
173
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,911
Nobody is available
to take your call right now.
174
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,013
Please leave a message
at the sound of the beep.
175
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,014
(beep)
176
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,016
(machine clicking)
177
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,017
(beep)
178
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,185
I wonder who that was.
179
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,454
Do you?
180
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,156
Should we go upstairs?
No.
181
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,825
Did you get fired
from your job, Daddy?
No.
182
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,627
Did you get fired
from your other job?
No.
183
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:34,662
Then who was that on the phone?
184
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,929
I don't know.
185
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,064
They didn't leave a message.
186
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,766
Why not?
I don't know.
187
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,968
Well, if nothing's wrong,
why are you bringing me flowers?
188
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:44,004
I'm just trying to treat you the
way I would want to be treated
189
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,439
if I was married to me.
190
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,940
Now legal in California.
191
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,009
Hmm.
192
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,043
That's it?
193
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,178
Yeah.
194
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,946
Okay.
195
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:54,815
Hey, so does anybody know
196
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,750
a kid from around here
named Cleavon Barris?
197
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,985
No, why?
198
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,153
I got signed up for that Brother
from Another Mother program,
199
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,022
and they said he lives
around here,
but I ain't never met him.
200
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,758
Julius, do you
know of a child
201
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:05,893
from another mother
around here named...
202
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,228
Cleavon Barris? No.
203
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,563
You remembered his name
pretty quick.
204
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:10,864
TONYA:
Yeah, it'd be better
205
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:11,832
to tell now if you do.
206
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,000
I don't.
207
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,702
I brought flowers
for your mother
208
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,769
because I
love her.
209
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,104
Is that so hard
to believe?
210
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,806
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
211
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,041
And with that,
my father was the first man
212
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,010
The Oprah Show
ever got in trouble.
213
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,780
Meanwhile, finding
a black kid in Bed-Stuy
214
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,650
was like trying to find
a needle in a needle stack.
215
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,453
(knocking)
216
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,524
WOMAN:
James?
217
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,625
James, who that
at the door?!
218
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,425
James?
219
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,060
Hey, Chris.
What you doing here?
220
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,629
I'm looking for Cleavon Barris.
221
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,931
WOMAN:
Close that door,
you hear me?!
222
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,265
What you know about Cleavon?
223
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,635
I'm supposed to be his Brother
from Another Mother.
224
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,737
I used to know Cleavon,
back in the day.
225
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,539
See, Cleavon,
he had some problems,
226
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,841
but me, James,
I ain't have those problems.
227
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:54,908
You hear what I'm saying?
228
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,209
You're Cleavon?
229
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,778
Hey, keep it down, man.
230
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,279
My mother
must have
231
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,849
signed me-- I mean, Cleavon--
up for it.
232
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,851
But since I'm not Cleavon,
I ain't doing it.
233
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,185
Well, the principal
signed me up
234
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,587
so I got to do it.
235
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,622
Well, that's between
you and Cleavon.
236
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,891
And don't come back around here
looking for him no more.
237
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,629
That's what Tupac does
every time somebody finds him.
238
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,670
Just because James didn't want
a Brother from Another Mother,
239
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,171
didn't mean he wasn't
going to get one.
240
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,172
James.
241
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,940
What you want?
242
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:29,109
Look, I know you don't want
to do this any more than I do.
243
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,611
But if we work together,
244
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,012
we won't have to be
anywhere near each other.
245
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,013
Worked for Shaq and Kobe.
246
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,181
So what you
want me to do?
247
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,716
Well, if anybody asks,
248
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,150
you just say we were
with each other.
249
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,952
That's clever.
250
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,554
I ain't know you had it in you.
251
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,189
I thought you were
a punk, a chump,
252
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,757
a sissy, a
mama's boy...
253
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:44,892
All right, all right.
254
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:45,959
We got a deal?
255
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:46,927
Deal.
256
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,264
Vanessa's out for a week?
257
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,066
I wonder why she didn't call me.
258
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,168
Well, I tried calling you
last night to let you know
259
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,905
I was filling in, but, um,
I must've had the wrong number,
260
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,974
'cause some white lady answered
the phone, and I just hung up.
261
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,943
Oh, no. That was me.
262
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,613
See, we got a new
answering machine,
263
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:06,914
and that's my phone voice.
264
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,849
Phone voice, white voice.
265
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,784
Same thing.
266
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,153
Michael, what you doing here?
267
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,822
I come to see my baby.
268
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,023
Pam.
269
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:16,957
Hmm?
270
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,125
These are for you.
271
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,160
Oh, so sweet.
272
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,829
What are these for?
273
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,164
I'm just trying to treat you
the way I would want
274
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,967
to be treated if I was
trying to date me.
275
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,670
Then why didn't you bring her
a greasy bucket of gizzards?
276
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,139
That is the sweetest thing
I ever heard.
277
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,642
I'm gonna see you later tonight
for dinner?
Mm-hmm.
278
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:35,876
Smoked pork chop?
Mm-hmm.
279
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:36,844
Everything?
Yeah.
280
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,746
Mmm, sweet.
Hey, Chelle,
281
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,313
tell Big Man I said
282
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,249
"Big Man!"
283
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,984
Don't forget the rice,
now, baby.
284
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,653
(chuckles)
285
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,389
Hi, everybody.
286
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,325
Hi, Youngju.
287
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,333
Oh.
288
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,174
I'll see you later.
289
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,108
(chuckles)
290
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,343
(chuckles)
291
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,914
More flowers.
292
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,215
That's a coincidence.
293
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,249
What did he say?
294
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,087
He said he was just trying
to treat me the way
295
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,823
he would want to be treated
if he was dating himself.
296
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,358
The flowers are rigged
with explosives.
297
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,860
No, no, no, no, no.
298
00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:27,961
That's one coincidence
299
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,664
too many.
300
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,233
Julius bought me flowers
and said the same thing
301
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,968
that they said to y'all.
302
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,137
I don't know what's
going on around here,
303
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,340
but I guarantee you,
I'm about to find out.
304
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,977
When my mother got suspicious,
305
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,346
she never asked what
she wanted to know.
306
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,415
She waited to see
what you would tell.
307
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,117
What, no flowers today?
308
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,686
You know, I don't want to do
the same thing every day.
309
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,188
Yeah, that's right,
because if you were me,
310
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,090
you wouldn't want them.
311
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,058
Huh?
312
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,159
Oh, that's what you said.
313
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,694
It was very nice.
314
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:03,230
Did you think of all of that
by yourself?
315
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,232
Straight from the heart.
316
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,800
And right in the back.
317
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,135
(phone ringing)
I'll get it.
318
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,302
No.
319
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,004
Let the machine get it.
320
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,340
Mind letting me
put the message on?
321
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,811
Hi. Nobody's home
right now.
322
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,080
Leave a message,
and we'll call you back.
323
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,249
(beep)
324
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,884
(dial tone)
325
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,185
How come people keep calling
and not leaving messages?
326
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,320
(beep)
327
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,990
Hey, hey...
328
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,134
Hey!
329
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,003
(clearing throat)
What y'all doing here?
330
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,072
We live here.
What are you doing here?
331
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,274
Did you just pick our lock
with a credit card?
332
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,176
And where did he get
a credit card?
333
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,177
This?
334
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,479
Nah. This was an accident.
335
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,381
I thought this
was my house.
336
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,316
You live across the street.
337
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,284
Sorry, man.
338
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,385
I'm dyslexic.
339
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,820
Hey, um...
340
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,288
I didn't mean
to interrupt.
341
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,323
Just going to leave.
342
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,892
You do that.
343
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:09,296
Okay, Drew, after dinner,
you leave the message.
344
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,065
Cool.
345
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:15,168
While my father was keeping
Oprah from my mother,
346
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,170
she was getting
to every other man in town.
347
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:19,072
From the guys
who were white-collar...
348
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:22,342
Stop it, y'all,
Oprah's on!
349
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,511
...to guys who got collared.
350
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,518
Every man in town
was watching Oprah.
351
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:44,197
I guess that's a coincidence,
too.
352
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,233
Meanwhile my father
wasn't the only one
353
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,301
trying to keep something
undercover.
354
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,237
Chris, just the man
I want to see.
355
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,105
How are things going
with Cleavon?
356
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:53,406
Cleavon?
357
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,275
Oh, yeah, great.
358
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,110
What kinds of things have
you been enjoying together?
359
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,812
A lot of stuff.
360
00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:01,081
And the lying-through-your-
teeth award goes to...
361
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,083
We worked on an art project
the other day.
362
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,317
(clicking)
363
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:10,257
We also spent some time
with the disabled.
364
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,059
(playing jazz)
365
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,999
And later on today,
we're going to go hang out
366
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,267
with some neighborhood kids.
367
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,270
Don't drop me please!
No, I'll pay, I swear!
368
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,172
No, no, please!
369
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:29,176
Let me go!
Let me go, please! I'll pay!
370
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,012
Please, don't drop me!
371
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,547
Well, that's great.
We can discuss it more
at your interview.
372
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:38,085
You want us here together?
373
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,386
3:00 p.m. See you tomorrow.
374
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:42,289
No, he won't.
375
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,962
I put the word out
on the street
376
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,197
that I was looking for James,
377
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,365
and, unfortunately,
the street answered back.
378
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,366
Hey, Chris.
379
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,338
He could have just said,
"Follow me."
380
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,608
You wearing a wire?
381
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,010
No!
382
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,945
No one ever waits
for the answer
383
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:05,946
before ripping your shirt open.
384
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,015
Then why are you looking
for people then, man?
385
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,117
What, you supposed
to be a detective?
386
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,552
You Spenser for Hire,
Magnum PI?
387
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,255
No, I just need James to come
with me to school tomorrow.
388
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,257
It's for this Brother from
Another Mother program.
389
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:23,063
Wait... didn't you used to be
Wayne Gretzky's bodyguard?
390
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,499
James pays better.
391
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,335
I thought we had
an understanding.
392
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,337
We do. It's just that
the organization checks up.
393
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,372
They want to talk to both
of us tomorrow in school.
394
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,573
Like I said...
395
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,108
next time you find me,
396
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,609
you're gonna end up
getting found.
397
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,645
James was tough,
but he was still 12.
398
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,948
Listen here, little boy,
I ain't got time for this.
399
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,983
You don't show up at school
with me tomorrow,
400
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,084
I'm gonna call
your mother.
401
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,185
All right, man. Dag.
402
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,188
While I was getting James
to step up,
403
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,990
my mother was getting
the lowdown.
404
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,359
(Drew imitating beat box)
405
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,694
* Yo, this is Master Drew
and I'm not home *
406
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,364
* So call me back
on the telephone. *
407
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,066
(beep)
408
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,633
(machine rewinding)
409
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,236
Hey, little dude's father
from across the street,
410
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,172
I just saw Oprah today.
411
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,340
You were right:
that's a bad woman.
412
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,342
Anyway, I'll talk to you later.
413
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,510
(beep)
414
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,482
Look, I don't know what
he's going to ask us,
415
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,050
so let me take the lead.
416
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,318
Whatever I say,
just agree.
417
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,287
Chill out, man.
Got this.
418
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,424
Cleavon?
419
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,593
Oh, hello, Mr. Perkins.
420
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:27,360
Oh, take a seat, Chris.
421
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,196
I'll be out
for you in a bit.
422
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,264
Wait, we're not going
in together?
423
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,400
No. I take you in
one at a time--
424
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,335
make sure you're doing
the things you say you're doing.
425
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,643
Whatever questions
they ask James,
426
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,378
I hope I had the same answers,
427
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,147
or I was going
to have to answer
428
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,581
a whole other set of questions.
429
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,418
(laughter)
430
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,987
Oh, Chris.
431
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:54,954
From what Cleavon tells me,
432
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,556
you two are what the program
is all about.
433
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,091
Fraud and deception?
434
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,059
We are?
435
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,360
Yeah, man.
We are.
436
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,561
Anyway,
437
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,196
here are the flyers
for the carnival.
438
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,197
It's a fundraiser.
439
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,299
The donors like to see
the brothers together.
440
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,335
It's a big photo op,
so I'll need you both there.
441
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,502
Okay, we'll be there.
442
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,471
Keep up the good work, boys.
443
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,742
We take your little
buddy photo and that's it.
444
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,577
After that, I'm done.
445
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,412
He wasn't the only one.
446
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,683
Hey, baby.
447
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,984
Who the hell is Oprah?
448
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,587
That was the last time
those words were ever spoken.
449
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,788
Baby, I...
450
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,523
Uh-uh.
451
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,560
Before you explain,
I want you to listen
452
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,694
so we're very clear on
453
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,530
what you need to tell me.
454
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,099
JEROME:
Hey,
455
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,767
little dude's father
from across the street,
456
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,402
man, I just saw Oprah today.
457
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,771
You were right:
that's a bad woman.
458
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,306
Anyway, I'll talk to you later.
459
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,641
(beep)
460
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,378
Baby, Oprah is a talk show host.
461
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:56,049
You're supposed to be
working two jobs
462
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,385
and sleeping during the day.
463
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,520
Exactly when do you have time
and where do you go
464
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,689
to meet this talk show ho-st?
465
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,358
I don't know her.
I-I watch her.
466
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,626
She's in Chicago.
467
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,761
She's on every day.
468
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:09,796
Look.
469
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,364
Every day.
470
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,300
See?
471
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,670
Okay.
472
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,805
What's in the bag?
473
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,441
I'm throwing out your makeup.
474
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,376
You're doing what?!
475
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,278
Oprah said you don't have
to paint your face for me.
476
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,413
I love you just the way you are.
477
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,616
Oprah doesn't know what
I look like without my makeup!
478
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:30,717
And neither does my father.
479
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,786
Julius, baby,
480
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,255
do you know what's in this bag?
481
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,624
Rochelle is in this bag!
482
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,659
See, here's
Rochelle's lips,
483
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,529
here's her eyelashes,
her complexion,
484
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,697
her cheeks, her fingernails!
485
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,100
(sighs)
Julius,
486
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,569
I don't know
what Oprah's saying,
487
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:53,340
but she's giving out
very dangerous information.
488
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,708
Baby, there are
certain things
489
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,745
that men just don't need
to know about women.
490
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,113
Like everything.
491
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,714
I'm sorry.
492
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,717
I just wanted to let you know
you're good enough for me.
493
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,553
Even if your face
is inside this bag.
494
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,255
Thank you.
495
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,490
I appreciate that.
496
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:13,260
Baby, you really want
to do something for me?
497
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,794
Anything.
498
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,596
Stop watching Oprah.
499
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,732
That's how Oprah's audience
turned from
500
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,602
all men to all women.
501
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,471
(phone ringing)
502
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,573
And that's how the message on
our answering machine became...
503
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,840
JULIUS:
We're not home right now.
504
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,542
Leave a message after the beep.
505
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,543
(beep)
506
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,587
Hey, Jerome.
Hey!
507
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,721
Man, I-I was just...
508
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,190
I know what you were doing.
509
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,624
Just take the answering machine
and get out.
510
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,334
He still came back later
to try and steal the TV.
511
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,606
While my father was getting
our answering machine stolen,
512
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,641
I was getting my picture taken.
513
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,410
I'm so proud.
514
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:06,713
Every single one of you
completed his community service.
515
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:07,847
Way to go, Chris.
516
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,682
The ghetto
owes you one.
517
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:11,518
Okay, big smile.
518
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,286
(camera shutter clicks)
519
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,922
All right, everybody,
go have fun!
520
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,763
James.
521
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,632
You know you can stay
for a while if you want to.
522
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,499
What for?
523
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,368
It's a carnival. It's fun.
524
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,902
It's not like we got them
on the block.
525
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:30,970
After all was said and done,
526
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,340
I found out a few things
about James.
527
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,342
His real name was Cleavon.
528
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,909
He was raised by the streets.
529
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,379
And he was still
a 12-year-old kid.
530
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,947
All right, man, dag.
531
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,350
You act like you're
my big brother for real.
532
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,385
And I'm not petting
no farm animals.
533
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,919
He was also allergic to goats.
534
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,389
Hey, this was
pretty cool.
535
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,823
Cool.
536
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:51,991
Look what I got.
537
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,560
Man, you won that?
538
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,862
I didn't say
I won it.
539
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,399
I said I got it.
540
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:00,567
Here.
541
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,502
This for you.
542
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,538
Thanks.
543
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,374
At that moment,
544
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,842
I thought that
deep down James was
545
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,679
a decent person who had a good
shot of making it in life.
546
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,347
That's him!
547
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,482
The one with
the jacket.
548
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:16,583
I thought wrong.
549
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,422
* Everybody hates Chris.
550
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,358
Captioned by
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