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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:06,174 CHRIS ROCK: During my first season working with the football team, 2 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,141 I had good times. 3 00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:08,376 Come on, man. Get in here. 4 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,810 For real? Yeah, man. 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,047 You as much a part of this team as everybody else. 6 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,152 * You were the girl 7 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,621 * That changed my world 8 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,656 And I had bad times. 9 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,791 (chattering, laughter) 10 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,394 * You lit the fuse 11 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,662 But I was glad it was over. 12 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,465 Just because your work on the field is done 13 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,102 doesn't mean your job with the team is over. 14 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,803 It's time to start thinking about 15 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,771 what we do in the field of life. 16 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,373 So I've signed 17 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,675 the team up for community service. 18 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,611 That's what they used to call slavery. 19 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:47,648 I myself have always been a big supporter of big brothers. 20 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,151 She's not talking about the organization. 21 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,620 My... you're a big brother. 22 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:53,587 (chuckles) 23 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,689 Let's dance. 24 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,691 So I'm bringing a rep from 25 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,428 the Brother from Another Mother organization to our school! 26 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,662 Brother from Another Mother? 27 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,764 Yes, they help match enfranchised youth 28 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,699 with disenfranchised youths, 29 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:09,670 such as blacks and Latinos, to help support and guide them. 30 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,672 Uh-huh. What if I'm already 31 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,374 supporting some Latino kids? 32 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:17,445 Well, if you're already a baby daddy, then you're excused. 33 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,280 Yes! Do you get extra credit 34 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,881 if you're a baby granddaddy? 35 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,151 But the rest of you, fill out these forms 36 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,586 so I can set you up with appointments. 37 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,388 You, too, Chris. 38 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,357 If you want to remain team manager, 39 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:30,391 you have to do this. 40 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,760 Even if all you do is clean sweaty jockstraps, 41 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,795 you're just as important as the quarterback. 42 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,797 I wish somebody would let the cheerleaders know. 43 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,499 It's people like you, Chris, 44 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,668 that make the ghetto a better place to live. 45 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,771 And it's people like you that get robbed if I don't. 46 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,486 * Ah, make it funky now. 47 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:08,562 Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION 48 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:17,571 Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION 49 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:20,808 I already had a younger brother from the same mother. 50 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,844 The last thing I wanted was one from another mother. 51 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:27,248 Being a Brother from Another Mother is a huge responsibility. 52 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,683 Your influence is molding a mind, 53 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,519 changing the course of a life. 54 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,354 You could say the same thing about crack. 55 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,322 Okay. 56 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,456 I'm proud to do it. 57 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,890 That said, I need to evaluate 58 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,726 your suitability for this organization. 59 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:39,693 No problem. 60 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,564 Are you sexually active? 61 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,865 No. 62 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,934 Now that I'm married, the answer's still the same. 63 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,636 Do you own photographic equipment? 64 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,670 No. 65 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,605 Where do you keep your photographic equipment? 66 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,342 I don't have any photographic equipment. 67 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,544 Have you ever sold any of your photographs? 68 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,711 I don't have any photographs. 69 00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,613 Suppose you did. 70 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:00,548 Where would you keep them? 71 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,851 I don't own a camera or any photographs. 72 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,320 If your Brother from Another Mother came to your house, 73 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,855 what room would you spend the most time in? 74 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,723 The living room, I guess. 75 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:10,991 Correct. 76 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:11,925 How's your relationship with your father? 77 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,594 It's fine. 78 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,196 Where does your father keep his photographic equipment? 79 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,734 When he was done getting answers out of me, 80 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,404 my family started getting answers out of a machine. 81 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,538 I want to leave the message. 82 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,706 It has to be a man's voice. 83 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,807 Look, I bought it, I'll leave it. 84 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,008 Why can't I do it? 85 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,443 Because everybody hates you. 86 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,445 Everybody, be quiet. 87 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,846 I'll leave the message. 88 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,983 Hello. 89 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,551 Thank you for calling. 90 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,253 No one is available 91 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,988 to take your call right now. 92 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,456 At the sound of the tone, 93 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,857 please leave... It's a beep. 94 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,893 What's the difference? 95 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,629 Some people are tone-deaf, but nobody's beep-deaf. 96 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,298 Fine. Please. 97 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,599 I'll do it again. I-I can do it. 98 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:52,733 (all shouting) 99 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:53,734 Quiet, shh! 100 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,735 Shh. 101 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,770 (presses button) 102 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:57,905 Hello. 103 00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,640 Thank you for calling. 104 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,710 No one is available to take your call right now. 105 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,679 Please leave a message at the sound of the beep, 106 00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:06,647 and we'll get back 107 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,550 to you as quickly as possible. 108 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,951 But what if we don't want 109 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,287 to get back to someone as quickly as possible? 110 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:14,622 It means you're a girl. 111 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,723 (sighs) Be quiet. 112 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,525 I'll do it again. (all chattering) 113 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,627 Shh! Stop moving so much! Stop pushing. 114 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,529 It's not my fault! His head is in the way. 115 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,696 Okay, shh! 116 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,632 Last time. 117 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,567 Hello. 118 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,069 No one is available to take this call right now. 119 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,372 Please leave a message at the sound of the beep. 120 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,807 See? 121 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:34,775 Is that good for everybody? 122 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:35,776 Yeah, that was good. Yeah. 123 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,312 You sound like a white woman. 124 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,614 Get out of here before I smack the naps out your hair. 125 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,750 Now she sounds like a black woman. 126 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,352 If it's a murder... 127 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,586 When I was growing up, 128 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,656 talk shows were usually hosted by old white men. 129 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,591 Mike Douglas, Phil Donahue, 130 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,361 Merv Griffin, Dick Cavett. 131 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,430 But in 1986, one woman changed that forever. 132 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,768 (mispronouncing): Op-rah Winfrey. 133 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,403 "How to have a stronger marriage." 134 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,504 Hmm. 135 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,005 And with that, Oprah's primary fan base, 136 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,641 married working class men, 137 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,076 began to take shape. 138 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,544 CHRIS: Well, I just got assigned 139 00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,380 my Brother from Another Mother today. 140 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,246 Hope it's not a big hassle. 141 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,749 Wish I had one. I'd love to be a mentor. 142 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,918 To form a lifelong bond, to know if I never did another thing 143 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,853 in my life, I'd have made a difference in this world. 144 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,590 Which is why Greg had the happiest pet turtle. 145 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:23,791 Why don't you sign up? 146 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:24,758 I own a camera. 147 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:25,526 So who's the kid? 148 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,628 Cleavon Barris. Where's he live? 149 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,529 Bed-Stuy, which is weird 'cause I thought 150 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:29,697 I knew all the kids in the neighborhood. 151 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,799 See? All black people don't know each other. 152 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,901 That is weird. I thought all black people knew each other. 153 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:37,671 Back at home, my father spent the afternoon with Oprah 154 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,540 to get ready for an evening with my mother. 155 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,079 What's this? 156 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,981 Flowers from a white person's garden. 157 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:48,982 These are for you. 158 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,718 For what? 159 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:51,819 Because I love you. 160 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,521 That look means: 161 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,888 "Okay, what did you do?" 162 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,924 Okay, what did you do? 163 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,091 Not this. 164 00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,760 You got to get out of here, Ashley. 165 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,128 And give me those flowers! 166 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:04,131 Go, go, go, go, go! 167 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,133 I didn't do anything. 168 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,901 (phone ringing) I'll get it. 169 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,737 Uh-da-da-da-da-da. 170 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,872 The machine will answer it. 171 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,007 (phone ringing) 172 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,676 ROCHELLE: Hello. 173 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,911 Nobody is available to take your call right now. 174 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,013 Please leave a message at the sound of the beep. 175 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,014 (beep) 176 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,016 (machine clicking) 177 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,017 (beep) 178 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,185 I wonder who that was. 179 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,454 Do you? 180 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,156 Should we go upstairs? No. 181 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,825 Did you get fired from your job, Daddy? No. 182 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,627 Did you get fired from your other job? No. 183 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:34,662 Then who was that on the phone? 184 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,929 I don't know. 185 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,064 They didn't leave a message. 186 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,766 Why not? I don't know. 187 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,968 Well, if nothing's wrong, why are you bringing me flowers? 188 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:44,004 I'm just trying to treat you the way I would want to be treated 189 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,439 if I was married to me. 190 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,940 Now legal in California. 191 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,009 Hmm. 192 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,043 That's it? 193 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,178 Yeah. 194 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,946 Okay. 195 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:54,815 Hey, so does anybody know 196 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,750 a kid from around here named Cleavon Barris? 197 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,985 No, why? 198 00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,153 I got signed up for that Brother from Another Mother program, 199 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,022 and they said he lives around here, but I ain't never met him. 200 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,758 Julius, do you know of a child 201 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:05,893 from another mother around here named... 202 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,228 Cleavon Barris? No. 203 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,563 You remembered his name pretty quick. 204 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:10,864 TONYA: Yeah, it'd be better 205 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:11,832 to tell now if you do. 206 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,000 I don't. 207 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,702 I brought flowers for your mother 208 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,769 because I love her. 209 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,104 Is that so hard to believe? 210 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,806 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 211 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,041 And with that, my father was the first man 212 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,010 The Oprah Show ever got in trouble. 213 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,780 Meanwhile, finding a black kid in Bed-Stuy 214 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,650 was like trying to find a needle in a needle stack. 215 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,453 (knocking) 216 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,524 WOMAN: James? 217 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,625 James, who that at the door?! 218 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,425 James? 219 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,060 Hey, Chris. What you doing here? 220 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,629 I'm looking for Cleavon Barris. 221 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,931 WOMAN: Close that door, you hear me?! 222 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,265 What you know about Cleavon? 223 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,635 I'm supposed to be his Brother from Another Mother. 224 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,737 I used to know Cleavon, back in the day. 225 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,539 See, Cleavon, he had some problems, 226 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,841 but me, James, I ain't have those problems. 227 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:54,908 You hear what I'm saying? 228 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,209 You're Cleavon? 229 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,778 Hey, keep it down, man. 230 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,279 My mother must have 231 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,849 signed me-- I mean, Cleavon-- up for it. 232 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,851 But since I'm not Cleavon, I ain't doing it. 233 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,185 Well, the principal signed me up 234 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,587 so I got to do it. 235 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,622 Well, that's between you and Cleavon. 236 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,891 And don't come back around here looking for him no more. 237 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,629 That's what Tupac does every time somebody finds him. 238 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,670 Just because James didn't want a Brother from Another Mother, 239 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,171 didn't mean he wasn't going to get one. 240 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,172 James. 241 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,940 What you want? 242 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:29,109 Look, I know you don't want to do this any more than I do. 243 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,611 But if we work together, 244 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,012 we won't have to be anywhere near each other. 245 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,013 Worked for Shaq and Kobe. 246 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,181 So what you want me to do? 247 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,716 Well, if anybody asks, 248 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,150 you just say we were with each other. 249 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,952 That's clever. 250 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,554 I ain't know you had it in you. 251 00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,189 I thought you were a punk, a chump, 252 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,757 a sissy, a mama's boy... 253 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:44,892 All right, all right. 254 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:45,959 We got a deal? 255 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:46,927 Deal. 256 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,264 Vanessa's out for a week? 257 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,066 I wonder why she didn't call me. 258 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,168 Well, I tried calling you last night to let you know 259 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,905 I was filling in, but, um, I must've had the wrong number, 260 00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,974 'cause some white lady answered the phone, and I just hung up. 261 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,943 Oh, no. That was me. 262 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,613 See, we got a new answering machine, 263 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:06,914 and that's my phone voice. 264 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,849 Phone voice, white voice. 265 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,784 Same thing. 266 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,153 Michael, what you doing here? 267 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,822 I come to see my baby. 268 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,023 Pam. 269 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:16,957 Hmm? 270 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,125 These are for you. 271 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,160 Oh, so sweet. 272 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,829 What are these for? 273 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,164 I'm just trying to treat you the way I would want 274 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,967 to be treated if I was trying to date me. 275 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,670 Then why didn't you bring her a greasy bucket of gizzards? 276 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,139 That is the sweetest thing I ever heard. 277 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,642 I'm gonna see you later tonight for dinner? Mm-hmm. 278 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:35,876 Smoked pork chop? Mm-hmm. 279 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:36,844 Everything? Yeah. 280 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,746 Mmm, sweet. Hey, Chelle, 281 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,313 tell Big Man I said 282 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,249 "Big Man!" 283 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,984 Don't forget the rice, now, baby. 284 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,653 (chuckles) 285 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,389 Hi, everybody. 286 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,325 Hi, Youngju. 287 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,333 Oh. 288 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,174 I'll see you later. 289 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,108 (chuckles) 290 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,343 (chuckles) 291 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,914 More flowers. 292 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,215 That's a coincidence. 293 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,249 What did he say? 294 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,087 He said he was just trying to treat me the way 295 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,823 he would want to be treated if he was dating himself. 296 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,358 The flowers are rigged with explosives. 297 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,860 No, no, no, no, no. 298 00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:27,961 That's one coincidence 299 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,664 too many. 300 00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,233 Julius bought me flowers and said the same thing 301 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,968 that they said to y'all. 302 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,137 I don't know what's going on around here, 303 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,340 but I guarantee you, I'm about to find out. 304 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,977 When my mother got suspicious, 305 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,346 she never asked what she wanted to know. 306 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,415 She waited to see what you would tell. 307 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,117 What, no flowers today? 308 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,686 You know, I don't want to do the same thing every day. 309 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,188 Yeah, that's right, because if you were me, 310 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,090 you wouldn't want them. 311 00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,058 Huh? 312 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,159 Oh, that's what you said. 313 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,694 It was very nice. 314 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:03,230 Did you think of all of that by yourself? 315 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,232 Straight from the heart. 316 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,800 And right in the back. 317 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,135 (phone ringing) I'll get it. 318 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,302 No. 319 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,004 Let the machine get it. 320 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,340 Mind letting me put the message on? 321 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,811 Hi. Nobody's home right now. 322 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,080 Leave a message, and we'll call you back. 323 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,249 (beep) 324 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,884 (dial tone) 325 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,185 How come people keep calling and not leaving messages? 326 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,320 (beep) 327 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,990 Hey, hey... 328 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,134 Hey! 329 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,003 (clearing throat) What y'all doing here? 330 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,072 We live here. What are you doing here? 331 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,274 Did you just pick our lock with a credit card? 332 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,176 And where did he get a credit card? 333 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,177 This? 334 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,479 Nah. This was an accident. 335 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,381 I thought this was my house. 336 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,316 You live across the street. 337 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,284 Sorry, man. 338 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,385 I'm dyslexic. 339 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,820 Hey, um... 340 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,288 I didn't mean to interrupt. 341 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,323 Just going to leave. 342 00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,892 You do that. 343 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:09,296 Okay, Drew, after dinner, you leave the message. 344 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,065 Cool. 345 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:15,168 While my father was keeping Oprah from my mother, 346 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,170 she was getting to every other man in town. 347 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:19,072 From the guys who were white-collar... 348 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:22,342 Stop it, y'all, Oprah's on! 349 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,511 ...to guys who got collared. 350 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,518 Every man in town was watching Oprah. 351 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:44,197 I guess that's a coincidence, too. 352 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,233 Meanwhile my father wasn't the only one 353 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,301 trying to keep something undercover. 354 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,237 Chris, just the man I want to see. 355 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,105 How are things going with Cleavon? 356 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:53,406 Cleavon? 357 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,275 Oh, yeah, great. 358 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,110 What kinds of things have you been enjoying together? 359 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,812 A lot of stuff. 360 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:01,081 And the lying-through-your- teeth award goes to... 361 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,083 We worked on an art project the other day. 362 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,317 (clicking) 363 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:10,257 We also spent some time with the disabled. 364 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,059 (playing jazz) 365 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,999 And later on today, we're going to go hang out 366 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,267 with some neighborhood kids. 367 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,270 Don't drop me please! No, I'll pay, I swear! 368 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,172 No, no, please! 369 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:29,176 Let me go! Let me go, please! I'll pay! 370 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,012 Please, don't drop me! 371 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,547 Well, that's great. We can discuss it more at your interview. 372 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:38,085 You want us here together? 373 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,386 3:00 p.m. See you tomorrow. 374 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:42,289 No, he won't. 375 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,962 I put the word out on the street 376 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,197 that I was looking for James, 377 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,365 and, unfortunately, the street answered back. 378 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,366 Hey, Chris. 379 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,338 He could have just said, "Follow me." 380 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,608 You wearing a wire? 381 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,010 No! 382 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,945 No one ever waits for the answer 383 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:05,946 before ripping your shirt open. 384 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,015 Then why are you looking for people then, man? 385 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,117 What, you supposed to be a detective? 386 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,552 You Spenser for Hire, Magnum PI? 387 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,255 No, I just need James to come with me to school tomorrow. 388 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,257 It's for this Brother from Another Mother program. 389 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:23,063 Wait... didn't you used to be Wayne Gretzky's bodyguard? 390 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,499 James pays better. 391 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,335 I thought we had an understanding. 392 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,337 We do. It's just that the organization checks up. 393 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,372 They want to talk to both of us tomorrow in school. 394 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,573 Like I said... 395 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,108 next time you find me, 396 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,609 you're gonna end up getting found. 397 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,645 James was tough, but he was still 12. 398 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,948 Listen here, little boy, I ain't got time for this. 399 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,983 You don't show up at school with me tomorrow, 400 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,084 I'm gonna call your mother. 401 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,185 All right, man. Dag. 402 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,188 While I was getting James to step up, 403 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,990 my mother was getting the lowdown. 404 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,359 (Drew imitating beat box) 405 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,694 * Yo, this is Master Drew and I'm not home * 406 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,364 * So call me back on the telephone. * 407 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,066 (beep) 408 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,633 (machine rewinding) 409 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,236 Hey, little dude's father from across the street, 410 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,172 I just saw Oprah today. 411 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,340 You were right: that's a bad woman. 412 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,342 Anyway, I'll talk to you later. 413 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,510 (beep) 414 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,482 Look, I don't know what he's going to ask us, 415 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,050 so let me take the lead. 416 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,318 Whatever I say, just agree. 417 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,287 Chill out, man. Got this. 418 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,424 Cleavon? 419 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,593 Oh, hello, Mr. Perkins. 420 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:27,360 Oh, take a seat, Chris. 421 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,196 I'll be out for you in a bit. 422 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,264 Wait, we're not going in together? 423 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,400 No. I take you in one at a time-- 424 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,335 make sure you're doing the things you say you're doing. 425 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,643 Whatever questions they ask James, 426 00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,378 I hope I had the same answers, 427 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,147 or I was going to have to answer 428 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,581 a whole other set of questions. 429 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,418 (laughter) 430 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,987 Oh, Chris. 431 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:54,954 From what Cleavon tells me, 432 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,556 you two are what the program is all about. 433 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,091 Fraud and deception? 434 00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,059 We are? 435 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,360 Yeah, man. We are. 436 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,561 Anyway, 437 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,196 here are the flyers for the carnival. 438 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,197 It's a fundraiser. 439 00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,299 The donors like to see the brothers together. 440 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,335 It's a big photo op, so I'll need you both there. 441 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,502 Okay, we'll be there. 442 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,471 Keep up the good work, boys. 443 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,742 We take your little buddy photo and that's it. 444 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,577 After that, I'm done. 445 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,412 He wasn't the only one. 446 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,683 Hey, baby. 447 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,984 Who the hell is Oprah? 448 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,587 That was the last time those words were ever spoken. 449 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,788 Baby, I... 450 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,523 Uh-uh. 451 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,560 Before you explain, I want you to listen 452 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,694 so we're very clear on 453 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,530 what you need to tell me. 454 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,099 JEROME: Hey, 455 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,767 little dude's father from across the street, 456 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,402 man, I just saw Oprah today. 457 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,771 You were right: that's a bad woman. 458 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,306 Anyway, I'll talk to you later. 459 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,641 (beep) 460 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,378 Baby, Oprah is a talk show host. 461 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:56,049 You're supposed to be working two jobs 462 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,385 and sleeping during the day. 463 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,520 Exactly when do you have time and where do you go 464 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,689 to meet this talk show ho-st? 465 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,358 I don't know her. I-I watch her. 466 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,626 She's in Chicago. 467 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,761 She's on every day. 468 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:09,796 Look. 469 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,364 Every day. 470 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,300 See? 471 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,670 Okay. 472 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,805 What's in the bag? 473 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,441 I'm throwing out your makeup. 474 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,376 You're doing what?! 475 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,278 Oprah said you don't have to paint your face for me. 476 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,413 I love you just the way you are. 477 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,616 Oprah doesn't know what I look like without my makeup! 478 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:30,717 And neither does my father. 479 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,786 Julius, baby, 480 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,255 do you know what's in this bag? 481 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,624 Rochelle is in this bag! 482 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,659 See, here's Rochelle's lips, 483 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,529 here's her eyelashes, her complexion, 484 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,697 her cheeks, her fingernails! 485 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,100 (sighs) Julius, 486 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,569 I don't know what Oprah's saying, 487 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:53,340 but she's giving out very dangerous information. 488 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,708 Baby, there are certain things 489 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,745 that men just don't need to know about women. 490 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,113 Like everything. 491 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,714 I'm sorry. 492 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,717 I just wanted to let you know you're good enough for me. 493 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,553 Even if your face is inside this bag. 494 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,255 Thank you. 495 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,490 I appreciate that. 496 00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:13,260 Baby, you really want to do something for me? 497 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,794 Anything. 498 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,596 Stop watching Oprah. 499 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,732 That's how Oprah's audience turned from 500 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,602 all men to all women. 501 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,471 (phone ringing) 502 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,573 And that's how the message on our answering machine became... 503 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,840 JULIUS: We're not home right now. 504 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,542 Leave a message after the beep. 505 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,543 (beep) 506 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,587 Hey, Jerome. Hey! 507 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,721 Man, I-I was just... 508 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,190 I know what you were doing. 509 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,624 Just take the answering machine and get out. 510 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,334 He still came back later to try and steal the TV. 511 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,606 While my father was getting our answering machine stolen, 512 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,641 I was getting my picture taken. 513 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,410 I'm so proud. 514 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:06,713 Every single one of you completed his community service. 515 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:07,847 Way to go, Chris. 516 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,682 The ghetto owes you one. 517 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:11,518 Okay, big smile. 518 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,286 (camera shutter clicks) 519 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,922 All right, everybody, go have fun! 520 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,763 James. 521 00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,632 You know you can stay for a while if you want to. 522 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,499 What for? 523 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,368 It's a carnival. It's fun. 524 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,902 It's not like we got them on the block. 525 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:30,970 After all was said and done, 526 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,340 I found out a few things about James. 527 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,342 His real name was Cleavon. 528 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,909 He was raised by the streets. 529 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,379 And he was still a 12-year-old kid. 530 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,947 All right, man, dag. 531 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,350 You act like you're my big brother for real. 532 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,385 And I'm not petting no farm animals. 533 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,919 He was also allergic to goats. 534 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,389 Hey, this was pretty cool. 535 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,823 Cool. 536 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:51,991 Look what I got. 537 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,560 Man, you won that? 538 00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,862 I didn't say I won it. 539 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,399 I said I got it. 540 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:00,567 Here. 541 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,502 This for you. 542 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,538 Thanks. 543 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,374 At that moment, 544 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,842 I thought that deep down James was 545 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,679 a decent person who had a good shot of making it in life. 546 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,347 That's him! 547 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,482 The one with the jacket. 548 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:16,583 I thought wrong. 549 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,422 * Everybody hates Chris. 550 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,358 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 35575

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