Original subtitles

BOY: (WHISPERING) I don't think anyone's coming.

(LIGHTER CLICKS)

(BOYS WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)

(BOYS GIGGLING)

Yo.

(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)

(BOY SHUSHES)

(BOYS GIGGLING, SHUSHING)

-Oh, shit! -(EXCITED SHOUTING, LAUGHTER)

MRS. MILLER: What the fuck are you kids doing?

Off! Get your hands off!

-Get back here! Get back here! -BOY: Yeah, bro.

-(BOYS LAUGHING WILDLY) -(AUDIO STOPS ABRUPTLY)

(I'M A CUCKOO BY BELLE & SEBASTIAN PLAYING)

I'm glad to see you

I had a funny dream

And you were wearing funny shoes

You were going to a dance

You were dressed like a punk

But you are too young to remember

I'm happy for you You've made it hard for me

I've counted on your company

You are staying with your friends tonight

I'm feeling sorry for myself

I keep taking everything to be a sign

I'd rather be in Tokyo

I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy, oh

And watch The Sunday Gang in Harajuku

There's something wrong with me

(DOOR CLOSES)

I'm a cuckoo

(FOOD SIZZLING)

(PLATES CLINKING)

(IN MANDARIN) Vivian!

Go wash your hands and come eat dinner.

VIVIAN: (IN ENGLISH) Okay, Mom.

(GROWLS)

-(VIVIAN YELLING) -(CHRIS SCREAMING)

Get out of my room, you bitch!

-(SONG ENDS) -(VIVIAN SIGHS)

(MEN SPEAKING MANDARIN OVER TV)

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Didi, eat a little more.

(IN ENGLISH) I'm not hungry.

(IN MANDARIN) Nai Nai, I don't want it, I don't want it...

Boys need to eat more in order to have muscle.

so they can become a strong man.

Nai Nai, don't feed him.

He can grab it himself.

Look how skinny he is.

If I didn't feed him, he'd be a pile of bones.

Only one month until my little bird flies away...

(IN ENGLISH) Yep.

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Don't forget to eat fruit.

It will help your digestive system so your poop isn't so hard.

VIVIAN: (SIGHS) Okay.

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) And you must floss.

You won't be able to see a dentist as easily in college.

(IN ENGLISH) Is Dad gonna be home to see me before I leave?

(IN MANDARIN) He doesn't know yet.

(IN ENGLISH) Classic.

(IN MANDARIN) When you go to college, don't go so far.

Just go to Stanford.

You can live at home

and I can cook for you every day if I haven't died yet.

Nai Nai, don't talk like that.

(IN ENGLISH) Stanford? As if he's gonna survive high school.

Stop wearing my clothes.

(MOCKINGLY) "Stop wearing my clothes."

(MUTTERS) Dumb horse.

What'd you just call me?

(IN MANDARIN) Vivian, don't be so loud.

(IN ENGLISH) He just called me a whore!

I called you a horse, like your zodiac sign.

-You wish you could be a whore. -Mom!

(IN MANDARIN) Dìdi, apologize.

Actually, no, you're more like a lizard

with your scaly-ass eczema skin, you know that?

Oh, yeah, fuck you, pizza face!

Ah!

Lizard bitch, you got stains on my sweater!

-That's my sweater! -(SPEAKS MANDARIN)

-He literally just called me a bitch! -Bitch.

-(IN MANDARIN) What is bitch? -Don't say dirty words!

(IN ENGLISH) You know, you're only born because I wanted a little brother,

and I wish you died in the womb.

Yeah, you were only born because of a broken condom.

You don't even know how condoms work, and you never will.

Shut the fuck up, okay? Conversation over. I win.

Like, you can't just decide when a conversation's-

-Not how talking works... -I get to decide!

-...you absolute moron! -Blah, blah, blah!

-Stop yelling! -You're like a little baby! (BLABBERING)

(BLABBERING)

-(SLAPS TABLE) -(NAI NAI EXCLAIMS)

(IN MANDARIN) Look,

what kind of a mother allows their children to behave like this?

They scream at each other even at the dinner table.

No class.

You think you're so cool,

but you're not.

Nobody likes you.

-(EXCLAIMS) Hey, get back here! -I can't wait to move out!

-CHRIS: Your fucking face! -I said move out already!

(IN MANDARIN) Didi, dishes.

CHRIS: Get over here! Stop running!

(IN MANDARIN) Come back. You didn't finish eating.

Hurry back here.

(MUTTERING) That's what you get for...

(URINATES)

(GRUNTS)

(MUTTERS, SIGHS)

(CAMERA CHIMES)

(SIGHS)

It's a trick. Just make this trick.

(SIGHS)

Fuck!

(SIGHS)

Yes! Oh, yes!

(IN MANDARIN) You can't exercise after eating.

It's bad for your stomach.

(IN ENGLISH) Mom, you just ruined my clip.

(MESSAGES CHIMING)

(IN MANDARIN) Don't put the camera on the ground. It's a bad angle.

Your composition will be ugly.

(GROANS)

(DOOR CLOSING SOUND EFFECT PLAYS)

(MESSAGE CHIMES)

(DOOR OPENING SOUND EFFECT PLAYS)

(TOUCHDOWN TURNAROUND BY HELLOGOODBYE PLAYING)

Every night, I see you standing on the corner

Shaking that thing like you're playing Pop Warner

Touchdown turnaround, play by play...

(MUSIC STOPS)

(MESSAGE CHIMES)

(DOOR OPENING SOUND EFFECT PLAYS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(VIVIAN SIGHS)

(DOOR CREAKS)

-Ah... -ORTHODONTIST: Yeah, that looks good.

-That looks good. -(CAMERA BEEPS, CLICKS)

(SPITS) Hot pink?

-Mmm-mmm. -All right.

Baby blue?

-Mmm-mmm. -No? (SPITS)

That's, like, the best color. Green?

-Indigo? -Yes, sir.

Dude! Bro, Madi's gonna want to rub her tongue all over them.

Indigo braces.

I hope you brought some wax, dawg.

What the fuck is the wax for?

-SOUP: (IN DISTANCE) Fahad! -FAHAD: Yo!

-Fahad! -FAHAD: What?

SOUP: What are you wearing?

This is, like, my normal outfit!

Dude, camo shorts are fucking gay!

FAHAD: Bro, your mom is gay!

My mom has cancer, you fucking bitch!

-Dude, what the fuck? -I forgot, dude.

But, bro, you can have cancer and be gay.

But I don't think that's how it works.

-Man, what's good? How you doing? -What's up?

Fuck you for saying that.

-Yeah, how you doing? What's good, Wang? -How's it going, man?

-Nice to see you again. -Lil Wang.

-Bro. What? -Wang-Wang.

-Hey, you crazy. -Yo, Wang-Wang in the house.

-You know how it is. -No, but for real, though.

Like, Lil Wayne wears camo shorts all the time.

SOUP: All right, then he's gay, then.

Dude, everyone wears them.

SOUP: So then everyone's gay, then.

FAHAD: No way y'all lost to Niles, dude.

SOUP: Yes, bro. That kid with the goatee

hit a bomb off of Ryan in the fourth inning, like...

FAHAD: Mexican Kenny?

I think he's Filipino.

Nah, dude, that boy talks hella Mexican.

Yo, what you mean by that?

Like, he just calls me, like, "ese" and shit.

I swear to God, he's just all about the, like, Mexicano slang.

-Like, I don't know. -That's so weird.

Wait, hold on. Hold up. Did I tell you about Rishi?

-Who's Rishi? -FAHAD: It's just, like, baseball shit.

-You don't got to worry about it. -SOUP: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

FAHAD: What about him, though?

Dude, he shit his pants during practice.

And he was all like, "My mom's pulling a prank on me.

She put poop in my pants again."

FAHAD: Dude, what do you mean by "again," though?

HARDEEP: Yo, bro, where have you been?

I've been hyping you up too much, bruh.

What's good, Hardeep?

Sup, virgins?

Dude, you're not a virgin?

Nah, I fricked your mom!

-Dude. No, dude. -What?

(WHISPERS) Bro, his mom has cancer.

Oh, uh, my bad. Uh, uh, is she, is she okay?

No, she got cancer.

I'm sorry for your loss. Yo, Jade!

-SOUP: She's still alive. -(LIVELY CHATTER)

Jade, this is my boy I've been telling you about.

He's the most freshest, flyest Pakistani in all of Fremont.

-That's Jade. She's a real one. -Hey, what's up?

-And that's Ellie. -Uh, hi.

-She's a dumb bitch. -(HARDEEP CHUCKLES)

-ELLIE: Wait, what was your name again? -Fahad.

-Fuckwad. -Bro, shut up.

These are my friends right here.

We got Wang-Wang, Soup.

-Your name is Soup? -Well, my real name is Jimmy,

-but everyone just calls me Soup. -Why?

His house just, like, always smells like soup.

SOUP: Yeah, my mom cooks hella kimchi-jjigae.

(VOICES FADING) You know, radish soup, ox bone soup.

-All the Korean classics. -ELLIE: Oh, that sounds good.

JADE: So, I heard you have some really good stories.

FAHAD: Yeah, I mean, like, they a'ight.

HARDEEP: Nah, they hecka funny.

He's gonna be the first brown EGOT winner.

I'm calling it.

ELLIE: My mom loves David Letterman.

Hey, can you, like, call me in, like, a minute?

-Dude, why? -Just... Just call me.

A'ight, whatever, man.

(LIVELY CHATTER CONTINUES)

(TOUCHDOWN TURNAROUND RINGTONE PLAYING)

GEORGIA: Madi, come here. You have to see this.

(MUFFLED) Georgia.

Shaking that thing like you're playing Pop Warner

Touchdown turnaround...

(RINGTONE STOPS)

Hey.

SOUP: (OVER PHONE) Yo, why'd you ask me to call you?

-CHRIS: Yeah, don't worry about it. -Okay, bye, pookie.

So Hardeep starts pissing in the river, right?

And Wang-Wang starts filming him.

And then he uploads it to YouTube

and titles it "Hardeep Pissing in the River."

And he sends it to us, and we're like,

"All right, yeah. That shit go."

But then a few days later, I get a call from Hardeep,

and he's like, "Yo, breh!

"Can you tell your boy to take that video of me pissing down?

"My dad saw it, and he's, like, fucking heated, cuh."

I said "frickin'." I haven't cussed since sixth grade.

-All right, whatever. "Frickin'." -(LAUGHTER)

So I text Wang-Wang to take the video down,

and he's like, "Okay."

But then the next day,

this motherfucker calls me again,

and bro's like, "Hey, can you tell your boy

"to take that video of me down for real?

"I just got another brown butt whupping."

-(LAUGHTER) -And I was like, "I did."

And he was like, "Well, he didn't do it.

"He just changed the title to

-'Gagandeep Gupta Pissing in the River.'" -(LAUGHTER)

-CASHIER: (OVER TV) Your total is 96.59. -(LAUGHTER)

-Holy shit. -(CASHIER SCREAMING OVER TV)

(WHISPERS) Yo, um, I-I got to pee. I'll be back.

All right, dude, just, like, hurry up though.

-My mom's gonna be here soon. -Okay.

CASHIER: I don't believe it!

(SIGHS)

MADI: Come in.

-What? -It's unlocked.

No, I c-- I could just wait until you're done.

GEORGIA: Can you go get that?

Can I help you?

Uh... Uh, yeah.

I-I just, I just thought that was, like, the restroom,

so I was kind of, like, yeah, you know,

-knocking on doors and stuff. -(CHUCKLES) It's okay.

I like your shirt.

-Thanks. -Hayley Williams, I love her.

Yeah, yeah. I-I love Hayley Williams, too.

GEORGIA: Madi, come on.

Okay.

Do you want to come hang out with us?

Um, sure.

Okay, come here.

(IN HIGH-PITCHED HELIUM VOICES) 07/29/08, baby.

You're finally 15 like me.

-Happy birthday. We love you. -Happy birthday.

-We love you. -Miss you so much.

-Wish you were here. Mwah. -Mwah. Mwah.

We wish you could've been here, but we hope you're having fun.

-Bye!

(IN NORMAL VOICE) (SIGHS) I look fugly.

MADI: No, you don't.

You want to try?

Sure.

GEORGIA: So, you know each other?

Um, yeah. You look familiar.

You go to Horner, right?

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Yeah, but, um, not anymore.

(MADI AND GEORGIA LAUGH)

Uh, I just graduated. So, uh, yeah, thank God.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Um, yeah.

Horner kind of, like, sucks dick, you know?

(HEY NOW NOW BY THE CLOUD ROOM PLAYING QUIETLY)

I liked Horner.

MADI: Yeah, I thought Horner was fun.

Pay the bus fare Or we find a new reason...

MADI: Uh, what was your name again?

I'm Chris, but, um, all my friends just call me Wang-Wang.

What should I call you?

Um...

You can just call me Wang-Wang.

GEORGIA: Wang-Wang?

Isn't that, like, the sound a duck makes?

You know, like, (QUACKING) "Wang-Wang."

(MADI AND GEORGIA LAUGH)

(TOUCHDOWN TURNAROUND RINGTONE PLAYING)

Oh, uh, oh, okay, um...

-Uh, uh... -(RINGTONE STOPS)

Sorry, um, I-I probably-- I-I got to go.

But, um, thanks for letting me just, like, hang out with you guys for a bit.

Yeah. Okay, bye. (CHUCKLES)

I love that song.

Oh. Yeah, uh, me, too.

MADI: You have good taste in music.

Are we Facebook friends?

Um...

I'm not sure.

Okay, well, you should add me.

Is so comforting now Did the Earth just slam...

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

And I know it

Won't undo their past

By walking and talking backwards...

Weren't you leaving?

Um, yeah.

I just... Just give me a second.

Pay the bus fare or we find a new reason

A new way of living and we shout it out

And try to dream again

Hey, now, now...

(MOUSE CLICKS)

CHUNGSING: (IN DISTANCE) Dìdi!

What?

-Dìdi! -What?

Dinner's ready!

Okay, I'm coming!

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Hurry up then. The food's getting cold.

-VIVIAN: (SCREAMING) Chris! -(DOOR BANGS)

-CHRIS: Oh, my-- What? Ow! -(SLAPS)

I swear to God,

if you ever pee in my lotion again,

I'm gonna period in your mouth.

What the fuck?

(GROANS) Ow!

-Ew! -(DOOR SLAMS)

Mom!

(WATER RUNNING)

(IN MANDARIN) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Old people can't afford to fall.

So we have to stretch and stay active.

CHRIS: Nai Nai.

-(IN ENGLISH) Nai Nai, look at the camera. -(EXCLAIMS, CHUCKLES)

(IN MANDARIN) Don't film me.

I'm so ugly.

CHRIS: (IN ENGLISH) What are you talking about? You're beautiful.

(IN MANDARIN) Nai Nai. You're 20 years old.

I ugly.

CHRIS: No, you're beautiful.

NAI NAI: You're beautiful.

CHRIS: No, you're beautiful.

-NAI NAI: I love you! -No, I love you.

CHUNGSING: Dìdi?

What?

(IN MANDARIN) Can you look at something?

Hmm?

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY OVER COMPUTER)

(IN ENGLISH) Look.

Did you know that I like to do the dance...

(IN MANDARIN) What do you think?

I want to submit it to the National Art Competition.

CHRIS: Uh...

-Hmm? -(IN ENGLISH) I look stupid.

Every day, go to school Do the dance, talk the girls

Exercise, be the good guy...

(IN MANDARIN) What are you watching?

CHRIS: (IN ENGLISH) Nothing.

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Why is he talking like this?

Don't copy him, okay? You should speak normally.

(IN ENGLISH) Mom, j-just stop nagging me.

(IN MANDARIN) I'm not nagging you.

I'm just caring.

(SIGHS)

Don't be foolish like them.

Get off the dance floor and start doing your chores

It's Sunday afternoon!

(SUNDAY AFTERNOON BY JON LAJOIE PLAYING)

(BOYS CLAMORING)

It's Sunday afternoon...

(YELLING WILDLY)

Yeah! Korea, number one!

(YELLING WILDLY)

COLIN: Who's up?

-(BOYS EXCLAIMS) -BOY: Damn.

I'm thinking you. Come on, get in here.

-Ooh. -Can't handle this.

(MOCKING INDISTINCTLY)

-TYSHAWN: Fight! -(BELL DINGS)

(LIVELY CHATTER)

-Hit him! Hit him in the chest! -Think of Bruce Lee!

-Hit him in the chest! -COLIN: Hey, no face shots!

-What the hell? -My bad, my bad.

Go, Wang-Wang! (WHOOPS)

It's Sunday afternoon

And there are a few things that I have to do...

-(BOYS GROANING) -Get off me!

Then I'll head down to the mall...

COLIN: What are you doing?

-(SHOUTS) What the hell? -(SLAP LANDS)

-(BOYS EXCLAIMING) -Whoa!

-COLIN: He bit my nipple. -You fucked him up.

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Why were you guys fighting?

(SIGHS)

(IN MANDARIN) We were just playing.

Playing? This is playing?

See? You let them go out and this happens.

Children are supposed to be playing with crickets by the creek

or hide and seek in the backyard

and your son is fighting people like a gangster.

If the police sees,

they're going to think you beat him and take him away.

Then he can't get treatment for the wound and he'll go blind

and if he's blind he can't go to college.

If he doesn't go to college, he won't find a good job.

If he doesn't find a good job, he won't find a beautiful wife

and he won't be able to have children.

And the Wang family legacy is over!

Nai Nai. You're too dramatic.

If my son were home,

this sort of thing would never happen.

Well he's not here.

NAI NAI: Dìdi?

Does it hurt?

(IN ENGLISH) Nai Nai, no.

NAI NAI: (IN MANDARIN) You pesky kids...

getting through to you is hopeless.

Nai Nai's leaving.

Forget it.

NAI NAI: (IN MANDARIN) Does it hurt?

(IN ENGLISH) Mom, I just told you I'm fine.

(IN MANDARIN) Okay, then.

Press it against your eye. Don't remove it.

Such a stubborn boy.

(PHONE CHIMES)

(PHONE CLICKS)

(MESSAGE CHIMES)

-(WHISPERS) Fuck. -(MESSAGE CHIMES)

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(DOOR CREAKING QUIETLY)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

STARTING COLLEGE

VIVIAN: Mom, can you not?

CHRIS: Mom, umbrellas are for rain.

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) The sun is very strong today.

It's bad for your complexion.

-VIVIAN: (IN ENGLISH) She's so annoying. -CHRIS: So embarrassing.

(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

(IN MANDARIN) Did you put on lotion today?

Your skin is very dry.

VIVIAN: (IN ENGLISH) Can you not comment on my body?

God.

(CHUNGSING SPEAKING MANDARIN)

(MAN SPEAKING MANDARIN)

(SKATEBOARDS ROLLING OUTSIDE)

DONOVAN: Come on, Cory, keep up.

CORY: Shut up, bro. I'm coming.

DONOVAN: You hella slow.

NUGGET: Hey, push faster. Come on.

CORY: I'm not trying to drop my soda.

DONOVAN: Why you always lag?

-Holy shit. -Oh, that was sketchy, but I'll take it.

-Okay, okay. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

NUGGET: All right, kick flip.

(66TH STREET BY ATMOSPHERE PLAYING)

That's how it's done.

DONOVAN: Wrap it up.

-NUGGET: Got lucky on that one. -DONOVAN: (GROANS) All right.

What's up?

At a convenience store

Working the counter making minimum dough

Uh, hi.

Selling discount smokes to the neighborhood folk...

(MUFFLED) Hi.

These, uh...

These guys are really good.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, yeah. Thank you.

You guys, like, sponsored?

-DONOVAN: Almost, bro. -NUGGET: You wish.

I've been trying to get these clips for this Berrics thing

that's coming up next month, but we don't really have, like, a filmer

-at the moment. -NUGGET: Once we got them clips.

DONOVAN: I just need like two more tricks for my sponsor me tape, and I'm good.

NUGGET: Oh, yeah. After that, we going up.

-CORY: Oh, that's the dream, bro. -Yeah.

I mean,

um, if you guys, like, need a filmer,

I-I film.

-You film? -Yeah.

-Like, skateboarding? -Yeah, skateboarding.

You film skateboarding?

I-- Yes, I film.

DONOVAN: It's kind of perfect, 'cause, uh,

we don't really kick it with our filmer at the moment.

Oh. Yeah, what happened?

-That bro died. -NUGGET: He's gone.

Yeah, rest in peace, bro.

Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm sorry.

-Bruh, I'm fucking with you, bro. -(PATS SHOULDER)

He fucked my girlfriend,

so we just kind of stopped kicking it.

-He's dead to us. -You know what I mean?

NUGGET: You let him fuck your girl, bruh.

Hey, what's your name, man?

I'm, uh...

-I'm-I'm Chris. -Chris?

Donovan, man. Pleasure.

This is Cory. Nugget.

-What's up? -DONOVAN: All right, right on, man.

-We'll hit you up. -Nice to meet you.

Just please do not fuck my girlfriend.

Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it.

I got, I got a girlfriend.

-Oh, you... -CORY: Oh, he got a shorty.

Where you go get you a girl?

DONOVAN: All right, man, well,

uh, you got, like, a YouTube or something I could look up?

I'll check out your videos when I get home.

Uh...

(GRUNTING) Fuck.

(BOYS SHOUTING EXCITEDLY OVER VIDEO)

(PAINED SCREAM)

-FAHAD: It's lit. -All right. All right.

-Go, go. -Go, come on.

-Hey, yo, let's go. Inhale. -I'll try it.

-Wow. -Wu-Tang that shit.

-Wu-Tang it. -(INHALES SHARPLY)

-Yeah! Yeah! -No way!

-(MOUSE CLICKS) -(DELETE SOUND EFFECT PLAYS)

(IN MANDARIN) This semester, Max joined the marching band.

He does badminton...

soccer...

and still has a 4.0 GPA.

-(LAUGHING) -(IN ENGLISH) Weighted.

Oh, Max. You are great.

(IN MANDARIN) You too, Shiu Fang.

Juggling all that must be stressful for you.

His father helps with so much of it.

I could never handle it all myself.

Oh, I see.

And Vivian is going to UCLA next year, right?

Oh, UCSD.

Oh.

Decent enough.

And what about Chris?

Chris... skates.

Ah.

And... he makes videos.

Making videos is not bad.

Like a movie director. Like Ang Lee.

CHUNGSING: (LAUGHS) Yeah.

(IN MANDARIN) You're my little Ang Lee.

Mmm-hmm.

Maybe one day he'll thank me in his Oscars speech.

(CHUNGSING LAUGHS)

Chris...

Finding success as an artist is not easy.

Just ask your mother.

(CHUCKLES)

Has Chris started PSAT prep yet?

CHUNGSING: Oh, uh...

Not yet. It's early, no?

Early?

Chris should have started last year.

You should take him to Max's tutor.

I'll give you his number.

Oh, that'd be great, I'd really appreciate that...

FISH: Yo, Wang-Wang.

What's up, fool? Don't even trip, dude.

Fuck them hoes.

You a handsome motherfucker, man.

You got strong-ass teeth.

You look good in shorts.

That's why Madi likes you, baby!

-(PHONE VIBRATES) -(MESSAGE CHIMES)

FAHAD: Dude, she sent you a winky face.

Do you know what that means?

She wants your wang. I swear to God on my life,

-she wants your wang. -Bro, what? No.

Dude, she's probably just trying to be, like, nice or something, bro.

-Wow! -No, she is not.

-You cannot take a hint. -Bro, Madi could literally be

touching your shlong right now, and you'd be like,

"Oh, guys, I don't know if Madi likes me or not."

-It's so true, bro. -Like, bro, come on.

You guys never take hints.

Dude, dude, she's definitely just trying to be nice, bro.

-There's no way. -Shut the fuck up. All right, respond.

-What are you gonna say? -CHRIS: All right, um...

Uh-huh.

FAHAD: Can you type any faster?

CHRIS: Bro, hold on.

CHRIS: All right, is that good?

Dude, no.

Are you serious?

-Nah. -What?

Bro, oh, my... For the love of God, please let me talk to her for you.

-No, bro. This is... -What the fuck is that?

-This is fine, bro. -What is that?

No, it's not fine.

-You have no game, bro. -Nah, bro.

-Come on, bro. -Dude, come on.

I could get you this girl right now.

-CHRIS: Bro, I... -Dude, please.

One sentence. One sentence.

-Fine. One sentence. -All right. Let's go.

-CHRIS: One. -All right.

How about "get boba"?

Come on, that's good.

-Okay, cool. Fine. Whatever. -All right. Cool.

Let's do this real quick.

-Bro! Bro, you can't... -(LAUGHING)

Dude, give me my fucking phone!

Hold his ass down! Soup, hold his ass down!

-Hold him down! -Give me my fucking phone back.

-Give me my fucking phone back. -Oh, shit.

-Hold him down! -Give me the phone, dude.

I'm not fucking playing around. Give me the phone.

(GROANS) Yo, what are you saying, bro?

-SOUP: Sound like a bitch, boy. -CHRIS: Ow!

-No, what are you... -I thought you were stronger than this.

-Come on. -Little bitch, bro. (GROANS)

Oh, hi, Nai Nai.

Hey. Hello.

(CLAMORING CONTINUES)

(IN MANDARIN) Apple. Eat.

Thank you.

Nai Nai, help.

(IN MANDARIN) Very good!

-SOUP: Your boyfriend, sexy time. -NAI NAI: Good friend.

SOUP: Come on, dance for your grandma.

Nai Nai...

(IN MANDARIN) I can dance too!

Thank you. I love you.

-I love you, too. -NAI NAI: Bye-bye.

CHRIS: Get off me.

FAHAD: Done.

CHRIS: What did you say? What did you say?

-Bro, come on! -FAHAD: I don't know, dude.

-We'll find out. -(GROANS)

-(PHONE CHIMES) -Oh!

What? Wait, what'd she say?

-What'd she say? -Oh, whoa.

CHRIS: Come on!

FAHAD: Just thank me later, bro.

(PANTING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: (ON VIDEO) How to kiss like a pro.

Are you a good kisser?

Anybody can be with the right technique.

Step one: clean your mouth.

Brush your teeth, floss, and use mouthwash.

Bad breath is the ruination of kissing.

Step two: sit with your partner, preferably in private.

Public displays

of affection may be fun for you,

but they make everyone else uncomfortable.

You don't want to do that.

Step three: relax and clear your mind.

Focus only on the person in front of you.

Angle your face to avoid crunching noses.

Lean into the person until your lips touch.

Keep lip contact soft and gentle in the beginning.

WOMAN: (MOANS) Oh.

NARRATOR: Step four: open your mouth enough

to slowly slide your tongue into your partner's mouth.

Just remember to keep it slow and soft,

not darting or invasive.

Don't forget to breathe through your nose.

Nothing ruins a good make-out like falling unconscious.

MADI: (IMITATING YODA) Do or do not.

There is no try.

CHRIS: What was that?

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Yoda.

Oh, yeah, Yoda.

(CHUCKLES) Have you never seen Star Wars?

I've seen Star Wars.

What color's Yoda?

Uh...

I don't know. Like a...

-Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. -Like a...

um, like a metallic chrome?

-(LAUGHS) A metallic chrome? -Yeah.

No.

Like a-a... a bright yellow?

No, that--no.

-Okay, I've never seen Star Wars. -(LAUGHS) Yeah.

How have you seen A Walk to Remember

but not Star Wars?

I don't know. I think my sister probably, like,

made me watch it or something.

I didn't realize you had a sister.

Yeah, I have a sister.

She... older or younger?

She's older.

Nice.

I have an older brother, so that's why...

-Yeah. -...I was wondering.

Are you two close?

Um, yeah.

Yeah, I'd say so.

I mean, we were close before he left for college,

so I don't really get to see him that much anymore.

Are you close with your sister?

Yeah.

-Hey, I have a gift for you. -A gift?

-A gift. -For me?

-What is it? -CHRIS: It's an eraser.

-MADI: An eraser? -Yeah, it's got the big side,

-and then it's got... -(LAUGHS) The little side.

CHRIS: A little-- the roller side. It rolls.

-MADI: Oh, that's... that's really cool. -Yeah.

Thank you.

-Yeah. -I like it.

Can I ask you a serious question?

Sure.

You've seen Jaws, right?

(SIGHS)

-No? -No.

Wow.

Um, okay.

What about...

E.T.?

-Yeah, I've seen E.T. -Okay. Okay, good.

Let's see who can do a better E.T. impression.

Okay.

-You go first. -You go first. Jinx.

Okay, now you have to go first.

-(SIGHS) -(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

Just an E.T. impression, right?

If you've seen the movie, you'll know.

Yeah, I've seen the movie.

E.T.

Um...

(GUTTURAL GROANING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

You have not seen E.T. before.

I definitely have seen E.T.

No, you definitely haven't if that was your impression.

That's the sound he makes at, like, the end credits.

Yeah, okay.

You know...

...you're pretty cute for an Asian.

Have you ever played the nervous game before?

No.

Are you nervous?

Are you nervous?

Are you nervous?

Are you nervous?

Are you nervous?

(WHISPERS) Are you nervous?

-CHRIS: (WHISPERS) Yes. -What?

-CHRIS: Yes. -Oh.

Yes, I-I mean, I am nervous. I just--

Can you, um...

-Sorry. -Yeah, I-I'm sorry.

-No, it's okay, it's okay. -Because I-I freaked out

-a little bit. -It's okay. It's okay.

I'm just-- I-I'm sorry.

You don't have to apologize. It's okay.

Really.

(SIGHS)

(LOCK CLICKING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Where were you?

Nowhere.

VIVIAN: Hanging out with Fahad and Soup?

-No. -VIVIAN: Okay, so what were you doing?

It's not like you have any other friends. And also, no one likes you.

Shut the fuck up!

Why are you always so mean to me, huh?

What?

I can't wait for you to leave

so I don't have to see your ugly face again.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

FAHAD: Bro, how'd things go with Madi?

-Good. -What do you mean "good"?

Like, good or... good?

You know what I'm saying?

-She touched my wiener. -No.

No way she gave you a hand job.

I'm fucking proud of you, dude.

For the first time in my life, I'm actually proud of you.

Good shit, dude.

Finally.

(GAME CHIMES)

(IMAGINARY GIRL BY THE SILVER SEAS PLAYING)

Imaginary girl

This is a song for you

Sorry it took forever...

Oh.

Hurry up.

It was the least I could do

Better late than never

-Out of the water -(CAMERA CLICKS)

You appeared like a dream to me...

ELLIE: Oh, that's so cute.

JADE: Can you take a photo of all of us?

And I wanna thank you

Imaginary girl

You really blow my mind

You got to be joking...

-(CAMERA CLICKS) -JADE: Wait.

Give us, like, a "one, two, three" or something.

Come on.

Come on, bro.

Aren't you, like, the camera guy?

One, two,

-three. -(CAMERA CLICKS)

-(LAUGHTER) -(SONG ENDS)

FAHAD: Like, do they just walk onto the crime scene,

-like, slip, like, "Oh, shit. Fuck." -(LAUGHTER)

"What the hell is that?

"Semen!"

It's like, dude, what are burglars even doing these days?

How do you even think of this stuff?

-You write what you know. -Isn't that Dave Chappelle?

ELLIE: We should look at those shoes

-that we saw at the mall the other day. -JADE: Oh, yeah.

JADE: You're quiet.

FAHAD: Yeah, quit being weird, bro.

-I'm not being weird. -FAHAD: Just a little bit.

You're just kind of, like, silent over there.

-ELLIE: Mmm-hmm. -Okay.

Um, do you have any funny stories?

Uh...

FAHAD: Why are you looking at me?

Uh...

There's-there's the squirrel story.

Please don't do... Don't fucking do that.

JADE: Wait, what's the squirrel story?

FAHAD: It's nothing. It's just, like, not a great story.

ELLIE: No, no, no, tell us.

-You have to tell us. -JADE: Yeah.

Don't listen to him. What's the squirrel story?

JADE: Go on, tell us.

Okay, well, um, there-there's this,

there's this one time we were, uh,

we were walking through the park, you know,

and, uh, I saw this dead squirrel on the floor,

and, uh, I thought it'd be funny

if I showed it to my friends.

So, um, I picked it up,

and-and I-I put it in my backpack,

and then, and then, you know,

we-we got to the park.

I-I pulled out the squirrel.

And it was, like, you know, super dead and stuff,

-and they were like, "Holy crap." -(CAMERA CLICKING)

I'm pretty sure that's dead.

Bro, it's been dead.

And then after that, we're gonna, we're gonna bury it.

You know? But, uh, my buddy, Soup...

...he pours this, like, energy drink

into the squirrel's mouth, and then-then, like,

it starts, like, spazzing out, it starts freaking out,

-and everyone's like... -(BOYS SCREAM)

And then my other friend, he, like,

grabs it by the tail, and he starts, like,

swinging it around like Indiana Jones.

Looks like an absolute,

like, psycho, you know?

He's, like, chasing us. We're running away from him.

(BOYS SCREAMING)

-What the fuck? Oh, shit! -Yo.

CHRIS: And then the--and then, like,

the-the tail, like, pops off, and then, like,

-the squirrel, like, goes flying. -(SQUEALING)

But he's-he's still holding, he's still holding the tail.

-Just the squirrel, you know... -(SQUEALING)

-Like, you know? And... -(BOYS SCREAMING, SHOUTING)

It was, like, really, really, it was really crazy.

Um...

What the fuck?

JADE: Wait, so did you bury it or no?

CHRIS: No, we, um, we put it in someone's mailbox and...

-No, I would stop there. -Okay.

Um, I'm pretty sure that's animal cruelty.

You know her mom works for PETA, right?

-She could send you to juvie. -JADE: Mmm-hmm.

Oh.

Okay. Sorry.

-Dumb bitch. -Whoa. (CHUCKLES)

JADE: Okay, I can't believe you just said that.

CHRIS: What? I don't know. I'm just kidding.

-Kidding? -Uh, she called her that before.

-FAHAD: Bro. -Like, I thought it was,

-like, her nickname or something. -JADE: No.

Are you serious? You think my nickname is "dumb bitch"?

-Yeah. No. Sorry. -FAHAD: No.

ELLIE: I can't believe he said that.

-(HORN HONKS) -There's my mom.

Um, some friends are coming over right now

to watch a movie, if you want to come.

FAHAD: Yeah, for sure.

Uh, I think there's only room

for one more in the car, though.

-FAHAD: Oh, okay. Um... -JADE: But if you want,

you could take the bus and meet us there.

FAHAD: Dude, you're- you're cool with taking the bus, right?

All right. Later, dude.

ELLIE: Bye.

-(VEHICLE DOOR OPENS) -FAHAD: Yeah, go for it.

ELLIE: Wait, can we tell Soup to come?

(VEHICLE DOOR ALARM BEEPING)

I'm so sorry.

(VEHICLE DRIVING OFF)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Please enjoy this Verizon ringback tone

while your party is reached.

CHUNGSING: Dìdi.

Dìdi.

(IN MANDARIN) Are you okay?

(IN ENGLISH) Fine.

(IN MANDARIN) You look sad.

(IN ENGLISH) Are you sad?

I'm fine.

(CHUNGSING SIGHS)

(IN MANDARIN) If you're not fine, you can also tell me.

Can we fake it

Can we make believe?

-I'm so full of love -(TURNS DOWN VOLUME)

It deeply sickens me

But all I can do is close my eyes

-And cross my heart -(TURNS UP VOLUME)

And hope to die

'Cause you don't fucking listen...

-(TURNS DOWN VOLUME) -(IN ENGLISH) Mom!

(IN MANDARIN) I can't focus on driving when it's so loud.

(CHRIS SIGHS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES QUIETLY)

-(IN ENGLISH) Mom? -Yeah?

Did you fart?

No.

Oh, my God, you farted.

(LAUGHING, SPEAKING MANDARIN) Maybe I did. I am not sure.

-CHRIS: (IN ENGLISH) Unlock the window. -(BUTTON CLICKING)

Well, uh, it's broken.

CHRIS: It's broken? Oh, my God.

(LAUGHS) Sorry.

-It smells like shit. -(CHUNGSING LAUGHS)

(CHUNGSING BREATHING DEEPLY)

(CHRIS GROANS)

-(CHUNGSING BREATHING DEEPLY) -Are you smelling it?

(IN MANDARIN) I'm helping you.

I'm sniffing the fart away.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

The salad I ate today.

Okay.

All gone.

(SIGHS)

Have you eaten yet?

MAN: (OVER SPEAKERS) Order number 42.

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Eat slower.

You have to let the saliva soak in the food.

Ah...

How did I give birth to a little dog?

Close your mouth.

Ah.

(IN ENGLISH) Hey. (LAUGHING)

(IN MANDARIN) Don't show your ABC.

What are you doing?

(IN MANDARIN) Eating.

MAN: (OVER SPEAKERS) Number 43, your order is ready.

(IN ENGLISH) You're so Asian.

MAN: (OVER SPEAKERS) Number 43.

(IN MANDARIN) I talked to Shiu Fang Ah Yi's tutor today.

(IN ENGLISH) Mom.

(IN MANDARIN) It could be good for you.

(IN ENGLISH) Stop.

Mom.

(IN MANDARIN) I already signed you up.

(IN ENGLISH) I told you this before.

(IN MANDARIN) I already paid.

(IN ENGLISH) I am not go--

TUTOR: You're late.

Come sit down.

Josh, go back to work.

MAX: (WHISPERING) Dude, stop.

Our moms are friends.

(MOUSE CLICKING)

(MESSAGES CHIMING)

(SIGHS)

(DOOR CLOSING SOUND EFFECT PLAYS)

(MESSAGE CHIMES)

-(IN MANDARIN) Give it to me. -Quit nagging me, Nai Nai.

(IN ENGLISH) Mom. Mom, can you give me ride?

(IN MANDARIN) See? This is why the house is so chaotic.

-Because you never let me help. -Stop pushing me...

-Mom? -(CONTINUES SPEAKING MANDARIN)

-I'm almost done washing them. -You really are an incompetent mother.

No wonder my son doesn't want to be home.

-(CHUNGSING SHOUTS IN MANDARIN) -(PLATE SHATTERS)

Will you go away for one second?

You are such a burden.

What? You think I'm a burden?

All I offer to do is help because clearly you can't handle it.

And if it weren't for my son working, making money,

this family would have nothing

and we would all be homeless.

I'm the reason this house is a home.

Not you.

Not him.

It's me.

I know you find me unworthy.

But I swear...

If you don't stop criticizing me,

I will kick you out.

(WHISPERING IN ENGLISH) I'll take you. Come on.

Do you understand?

I am done.

(BROKEN PLATE CRASHES IN TRASH CAN)

(IN ENGLISH) You okay?

Wait, this is where you and your friends hang out?

-Business parking lots? -CHRIS: Yeah.

-You could just park right over here. -VIVIAN: Okay.

Okay.

Um...

Thanks for, uh, driving me.

No problem.

Um, I think I'm gonna stay out for a while, too.

So just give me a call later if you need a ride.

Or anything, okay?

Okay.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(BOYS CHATTERING QUIETLY)

-There he is. Sup, bro? -Yo, bruh.

-What's good? -How's it going?

-How's it going? -Chillin'.

NUGGET: Yo, what's up, what's up, what's up?

-How's it going? How's it going? -Let's get these clips.

(SACRED HEART BY CASS MCCOMBS PLAYING)

(CAMCORDER BEEPS)

CORY: Get that shit. Yep.

(WHOOPS) Good shit, bruh.

CORY: Right here.

NUGGET: I mean, my shirt clean.

-Smell this shit. Fuck yeah. -Hey.

NUGGET: Like it, yeah.

Hey, Nugget, look at this dick I drew.

Sacred heart...

(SHOUTS, GROANS)

-The veins and shit in there. -(LAUGHS) Bro, what?

I got some ball sack.

NUGGET: Hey, right here, right here.

-It's coming. -(CORY LAUGHS)

-Weak! -CORY: Hey, run it back.

Hey, both of you guys.

-You, you... -Oh, my-

-...and you. Out! -Come on.

-RENT-A-COP: I've seen you here before. -How you doing, man?

Fun time is over.

-No, no, no. -NUGGET: Hey, yo, Chris.

Film that shit. Film that shit right there.

-You are done. -"You're done, sonny son."

Yes, you.

Ah, right here, right here, right here.

Yeah, land that shit.

-Yeah! -Let's go!

-Go, go! -(EXCITED SHOUTING)

Let's get the fuck out of here!

No, love doesn't always

Boomerang

(SONG FADES)

Bruh, that security guard could not keep up.

You just juked the fuck out of him, bro.

-We got to see that shit. -(CLICKING)

You clipping your nails back there, bro?

It's good, bro. I'm catching 'em.

Way to kill the vibe, bro. That's hella trifling.

You can't be doing shit like that in people whip.

Bro, I got to cut my toenails, I'm gonna cut my toenails, bro.

Hey, Chris, you got that clip of me, though?

-Oh, yeah, I-I got that clip. -Yeah.

-(LAUGHTER) -CORY: That clip was killer as fuck.

-(EXCITED CHATTER) -Yeah, baby.

That shit was wet, bro. That shit--oh, man.

I got the throw-down, the jukes.

Stomped that shit, bolts. That's my opener, man.

You were, like, you were, like, all up in his face, too.

You know, you could've, like, could've, like,

fucked him up or something.

(SUNSHINE BY ATMOSPHERE PLAYING)

Yeah, I'm-I'm more about peaceful shit.

-You know what I mean? -Yeah.

Like, I'm on that Zen path.

(NUGGET LAUGHS)

Hey, you good to send me that clip later, though?

Yeah, I'll-I'll send you that clip.

I'm probably gonna, like, film

some other clips before that, though,

and, like, edit it together, you know, like, mix it up.

-Okay. -CORY: We got, we got motherfucking

Spike Jonze or some shit over here.

-About to edit that shit up. -You a fucking hater, bro.

Hey, respect his craft, bro.

Chris, thank you for pulling up on us today.

We-we really need you, you know what I'm saying?

NUGGET: Yeah, you been doing your thing.

I appreciate you for coming out.

CORY: Yeah, that's what's up.

(SONG FADES)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

CHRIS: Mom?

(KEYS CLINK)

Mama?

Nai Nai?

(CLOCK TICKING)

Mom?

(NAI NAI SPEAKING MANDARIN)

-CHRIS: Nai Nai! -(DOOR OPENS)

Nai Nai. What happened?

(NAI NAI SPEAKING MANDARIN)

-(CHRIS SPEAKING MANDARIN) -(NAI NAI GROANING)

(IN MANDARIN) I lay there for almost three hours.

I call, I call...

Nobody responded.

Nai Nai, it's okay.

NAI NAI: How many years do I have left?

I won't even be here...

To see Chris graduate high school.

CHUNGSING: That won't happen, Nai Nai.

You two can feel free to leave.

Let Nai Nai rest.

(IN ENGLISH) Okay.

Hey, um, can you give me a hand with something?

VIVIAN: So... (SIGHS)

Who are those people you've been hanging out with?

Friends.

What do you guys do when you hang out?

Just skate.

Just skate?

Well, promise me you won't do anything stupid.

Okay.

(AMARILLION BY DATAROCK PLAYING)

NARRATOR: Make sure to keep your subject

in the center of the frame.

DONOVAN: Yeah, buddy. Let's go!

-Ah, that was it! -Oh, come on.

I wanna hold your hands tonight

(EXCITED SHOUTING)

-CORY: Back 'em up. -DONOVAN: Let's go.

I wanna walk you home from school

CHRIS: Yo!

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

I wanna take you on a date

CHRIS: Nice.

Oh.

I wanna treat you like a fool

DONOVAN: You got it, bro. You got it.

Oh!

My good intentions, you'll see...

CHRIS: Dude, that was buttery.

-(LAUGHS) -Don't touch. Don't touch. Don't touch.

'Cause I know loving ain't easy

Although it's easy on the eyes

Both when appalling...

CORY: Why are you filming the plants?

CHRIS: Uh, foreground.

-You look like a pervert. -Oh.

Oh, dude!

-(LAUGHS) -(SCREAMS)

I want to see that thing. What you got?

Uh...

(LAUGHS) What the fuck?

(BOTH BLABBERING)

(SONG ENDS)

FAHAD: Hey, yo, Wang-Wang!

Yo, bro, what you doing here?

CHRIS: Just hanging out.

With who, bro?

-NUGGET: Where the fuck is he at? -(VEHICLE DOORS CLOSING)

-Friends. -(VEHICLE ENGINE STARTING)

All right. Where you guys headed?

CORY: Come on, bro.

-(HORN HONKING) -Yo, let's go!

What are you waiting for?

To a party.

FAHAD: Oh.

Yo, can we come?

CORY: Hurry up! Let's hit it!

There's no room in the car.

CORY: Come on.

Ah.

Um, it's-it's all right.

It's okay.

A-All right, see ya, bro.

(ALL AROUND THE WORLD BY ZION I PLAYING)

(LIVELY CHATTER)

-Hey, Mack! Mack! -Man, this place is cranking.

MACK: Hey, yo, nigga, what's good?

-(LAUGHTER) -Man, what took your ass so long?

I'm eating lemon bars in this bitch

for about three hours with your granny.

-Shit's good as fuck, though, really. -Sup, G?

Hey, what's good, bruh? What's good, buddy?

-Yo, who the fuck is this? -Th-This is Chris.

This is my filmer, bro. He's cool. He's with me.

NUGGET: Little bro been filming us, getting clips.

MACK: Oh, shit!

Ain't you the nigga that be filming for Bofa?

What's "Bofa"?

(BOYS CHUCKLING)

Both of these nuts in your fucking mouth!

(LAUGHS) It's good, man!

DONOVAN: Why you do him like that?

Move, move, move.

-Hella people here. -Hey, bro.

CORY: Let me get one of those lemon bars.

Sorry, coming through. Sorry.

Excuse me. Can I just...

(DIRTY AND GRIMY BY LA COSA NOSTRA PLAYING)

(LIVELY CHATTER)

(COUGHING)

(COUGHS, GROANS)

(SONG CONTINUES)

MACK: (RAPPING) I'm at your granny crib

And she fed me all her lemon bars

-When you left the crib -Where you been at?

You must've walked hella far

'Cause when you came back

I fucked Granny hella hard

-Hell yeah! -Whoa.

(BOYS EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING)

-Hey, keep my grandma out of it. -What you talking about?

-Come on, man. -Ay, but, uh,

-I-I did that shit, though. -You did not.

-Come on. -(COUGHING)

Hey, you good? How the fuck that shit taste, boy?

(COUGHING)

The hashish. Nigga, what?

I don't smoke no more.

MACK: Yeah, you a bitch. I'll hit that, though. Come on.

This shit old, man, expired.

-Bro, you let that shit go out? -You should, uh...

You should Wu-Tang it.

Wu-Tang it? Like the Clan?

Yeah, it's... No, here, let me show you.

-Yeah, you rock that. -Yeah.

I don't want to fuck it up, bro.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

-(COUGHING, HACKING) -(LAUGHTER)

This Asian motherfucker just ate the roach!

-Nigga, what the fuck? -Shit, man.

Yo, what's your name, man?

-Chris. -Chris? Hey.

(CHANTING) Asian Chris!

BOYS: (CHANTING) Asian Chris! Asian Chris!

Half-Asian. (COUGHS)

-What? -Half-Asian.

-Okay, nigga. -All right.

(CHANTING) Half-Asian Chris!

BOYS: (CHANTING) Half-Asian Chris! Half-Asian Chris!

-(COUGHING) -Half-Asian Chris!

(VOICES DISTORTING, SLOWING) Half-Asian Chris!

Half-Asian Chris!

(HEAVILY DISTORTED CHATTER)

(DISTORTED, SLOWED) Bro, you good?

(DISTORTED LAUGHTER, CHATTER)

Shit, man.

(DISTORTED CHATTER)

HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Wang-Wang.

(FOOTSTEPS SCURRYING)

Over here.

Why did you kill me?

I didn't want to die.

This is why nobody loves you.

Ha, fucker.

(SQUIRREL YELLS)

(COUGHS, GROANS)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Vivian?

Are you okay in there?

VIVIAN: (IN ENGLISH) Uh, I'm fine.

(CHRIS COUGHS)

(IN MANDARIN) I have diarrhea.

CHUNGSING: Oh, okay.

Don't forget to wash your hands.

(SIGHS)

(CHRIS GAGS, COUGHS)

(IN ENGLISH) Get it out.

(SIGHS)

Here.

Drink.

(PANTING)

Didn't I tell you not to do anything stupid?

(CHRIS GROANS)

Please don't tell Mom.

CHUNGSING: (IN MANDARIN) Let me do it.

Go say bye to Nai Nai.

VIVIAN: (IN ENGLISH) Okay.

Bye-bye, Nai Nai.

NAI NAI: (IN MANDARIN) Make sure you take care of yourself.

(IN ENGLISH) Okay.

(IN MANDARIN) I don't need it.

Take it.

Okay, okay, thank you.

(BOTH SPEAK SOFTLY IN MANDARIN)

Thank you.

Take care of yourself.

-(IN ENGLISH) Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.

Um...

Bye, I guess.

Bye.

NAI NAI: (IN MANDARIN) Don't forget to eat fruit.

Okay.

NAI NAI: (IN ENGLISH) Bye-bye.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(KEYS CLICKING)

-(PHONE VIBRATING) -(SUNSHINE RINGTONE PLAYING)

My baby made me some coffee Afraid that if I drink some

It's probably coming right back out me

Couple of Advil Relax and chill, at a stand...

(VIBRATING AND MUSIC STOP)

-Hello? -DONOVAN: Yo, I think I'm near your crib.

Can we come over and look at those clips real quick?

Uh, like, like, like, right now?

(KNOCKING)

What's good, bro? Where the bathroom at?

CHRIS: Uh, just down there to the right.

NUGGET: All right.

-DONOVAN: What's up, little bro? -(HANDS CLAP)

-Let's peep these clips, G. -CHRIS: Okay.

Nice spot.

CORY: Hey, who did all the paintings in your house?

CHRIS: Um, my mom.

-CORY: Really? -DONOVAN: "Wang Wang"?

-What's a Wang Wang? -CHRIS: Uh...

CORY: Can I have some of these apples?

Um...

Yeah. Go for it.

Okay. Thanks.

Why are they in a dog bowl?

NUGGET: All right, what I miss?

-Hey, you wash your hands? -Nah.

-Mmm, mmm-mmm. Get the fuck off. -(LAUGHS)

Bruh, I'm trying to watch these clips.

That is nasty. You're nasty.

NUGGET: Oh, my God, y'all some haters.

-All right. What we got? -We're about to see the clips.

-NUGGET: (OVER VIDEO) Yeah, right here! -Come on.

NUGGET: Yep. Oh. (LAUGHS)

That spot was insanely crusty.

Yeah, we got that double.

NUGGET: I had to get that shit out of the way.

-Go backwards. -That shit was sick, huh?

-That shit was. You'll see. -We get it done.

NUGGET: I remember this day.

DONOVAN: It's a little shaky, but it's-it's all right.

Every filmer has their bad days.

-It has a little bit of speed. -On the frame.

Oh! Play that clip where I fucking juked that security guard.

We got to see that, bro.

-I've been waiting long to see that. -The security guard, remember?

-The security guard. -Yeah.

-Put it on. Let's go. -Oh, my fucking God.

-Pull that shit up. -Let's go.

Pull it up. What you waiting for? Come on.

-This is the one, man. -Put that shit on right now.

DONOVAN: Yeah, that one right there.

-Okay. -NUGGET: Yep, here we go.

-DONOVAN: There it is. Shit. -There she is.

You about to be famous from this shit.

-Swear to God. -DONOVAN: Swear.

NUGGET: Bruh, he was all in the way, like, damn.

Watch this juke. It's a NBA juke right here. Oh.

-NUGGET: Oh! -Oh, shit, right here.

NUGGET: Land it, land it. There you go.

-Here we go, here we go, here we go. -(LAUGHS) Great.

NUGGET: (ON VIDEO) Man, fuck you! We're out!

RENT-A-COP: Yeah, don't come back.

-Couldn't even see the board. -Bro, what the fuck?

(QUIET MUTTERING)

All right, bruh. All right, so check it out.

I'm no, like, filmer or expert or anything,

but that's definitely not usable.

DONOVAN: I thought you were, like, a filmer, right?

CORY: None of those are usable.

Yeah. I just...

I-I couldn't focus-up, um, I'm sorry.

-DONOVAN: Damn. -CHUNGSING: Dìdi?

(IN MANDARIN) I'm going to buy groceries.

Do you need anything?

(IN ENGLISH) Oh.

Hi.

Ni hao.

Hello.

-Um, nice meet you. -DONOVAN: Nice to meet you.

CHUNGSING: I'm Chris' mother.

Hey, I really like your paintings.

-Really beautiful, by the way. -(CHUCKLES) Oh.

-Thank you. -Yeah.

You notice.

Yeah, I love the colors and stuff.

I-I paint all myself.

-CORY: That's cool. -DONOVAN: Yeah, that's really nice.

CORY: Wait, so, um, if you're Asian,

does that mean your husband is white?

What?

My husband Asian.

DONOVAN: How are you half-Asian?

-CORY: Yeah, 'cause you said that... -(STAMMERS)

She's probably just forgetting. Mom, just get out right now.

(IN MANDARIN) Don't push me.

Mom, just get out-- Mom, get out!

(IN MANDARIN) Okay, I heard you.

Mom, get out!

Uh, s-sorry. I'm sorry you had to see that.

It's just-- she could just be, like,

super annoying sometimes and... and, uh...

Dude, don't talk to your mom like that.

NUGGET: She wasn't even being annoying.

Like, what were you even doing?

CORY: Man, this kid's kind of wack.

NUGGET: Yeah, you're kind of right.

CORY: Let's get the fuck out of here.

-(SKATEBOARD ROLLING) -DONOVAN: Yo!

NUGGET: Man, fuck you. We're out.

(DONOVAN WHOOPS ON VIDEO)

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

(MESSAGES CHIMING)

(SIGHS)

TUTOR: Okay, let's take a quick break.

(QUIET CHATTER)

(SKATEBOARD CLATTERING)

MAX: (QUIETLY) Josh, don't.

(JOSH LAUGHS, CLEARS THROAT)

Yo, Chris!

What up, bro?

Doing some skate tricks?

Huh? (LAUGHS)

Hey, can I ask you something?

Huh? (CHUCKLES)

Are you nervous?

(SCOFFS, LAUGHS)

Man, I didn't realize you was such a G, bruh.

Hey, are you a Fremont Asian Gangsta?

Yes or no?

Come on, man.

-Sure. -Yeah?

Wait, hold on.

"Fremont Asian Gangsta." Oh, wait.

So you're a fag?

(LAUGHING) Oh, G--

Hey, that was good.

Oh, man.

No wonder you wouldn't kiss Madi.

MAX: You're gonna get me in trouble.

JOSH: I got his ass hella good, bro.

MAX: Yeah. Yeah.

-(JOSH LAUGHS) -(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)

-(SHOUTS) -Bro, what the fuck?

(JOSH GROANING)

MAX: (IN MANDARIN) Teacher!

(DISTANT CHATTER)

(CHUNGSING PANTING)

(IN MANDARIN) How could you do this?

Huh?

(IN ENGLISH) He started it.

(IN MANDARIN) I don't care. You can't hit people.

(IN ENGLISH) Why the fuck are you taking his side?

(IN MANDARIN) Don't say dirty words!

(IN ENGLISH) Why do you never listen to me? I'm your son.

(IN MANDARIN) Do you know how your behavior makes me look?

Like I raised a son without a single manner.

(IN ENGLISH) Yeah, well, maybe if Dad raised me,

I would've been a better son.

But no, I'm stuck with you, and you can't do shit!

(IN MANDARIN) You dare say that to me?

I spend my entire life taking care of you.

I work so hard every day.

All for you.

(IN ENGLISH) Yeah, bullshit!

Dad's the one in Taiwan making the fucking money

while all you do is just sit at home

and draw fucking clouds!

(IN MANDARIN) You think this is the life I wanted?

You think this is what I wanted?

You know how much happier I'd be if I didn't have you?

(IN ENGLISH) No, no, I couldn't care less whether you fucking leave,

'cause you're just a fucking failed artist and your stupid-ass fucking drawings.

(IN MANDARIN) What child would dare talk to their mother like this?

(IN ENGLISH) Not that I fucking care.

(IN MANDARIN) Do you think Max would do this?

Ah, shut up! Shut up! I'm sorry I'm not fucking Max!

I'm sorry I'm not a fucking bragging right to your fucking friends!

(IN MANDARIN) Stop it!

-Didi! -I'm not the fucking embarrassment here!

You're the fucking embarrassment!

(IN MANDARIN) Enough!

(IN ENGLISH) I'm ashamed to be your fucking son!

(CHUNGSING PANTING)

(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)

(PANTING)

(WHOOSHING)

(PANTING)

(DOOR RATTLING)

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CREAKING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(DOOR CREAKING QUIETLY)

(SIGHS)

Are you ashamed of me?

(IN MANDARIN) What?

CHRIS: (IN ENGLISH) I ran away, but you didn't even look for me.

(IN MANDARIN) Come here.

Do you remember when Vivian ran away when she was 14?

She asked me to sleep over at Annie's house,

and I didn't let her.

She looked me straight in the eyes and said,

(IN ENGLISH) "Mama, I just want to let you know

"that I hate you."

(IN MANDARIN) And then she ran away.

She was gone for three days.

I was so scared.

Then one day, she just came home.

She didn't talk to me.

Didn't acknowledge me.

But I was so happy.

Compared to her, you are not so stubborn.

So I knew you would come home.

You know,

sometimes I sit and think about...

How I ended up here.

So ordinary.

Is this what my life has amounted to?

I wonder...

What if I didn't marry your father?

If I didn't have you and Vivian.

What would my life be like?

Maybe I would've come to America by myself.

And I'd have become a successful artist by now

with my own studio in new York.

(CHUCKLES)

(IN ENGLISH) Sometimes I dream.

(IN MANDARIN) But then, getting to watch you and Vivian grow up here,

make friends,

and learn so many things I can't teach you,

I realize...

You are my dream.

How could I be ashamed of you?

(IN ENGLISH) I am so proud.

But sometime, it's a little hard.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(IN MANDARIN) Come here.

ORTHODONTIST: That's it.

(TOOTH SQUEAKING)

PHOTOGRAPHER: Ready? Smile.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

And tilt your head a little bit.

-And three, two, one. -(CAMERA CLICKS)

Madi?

Oh, hi.

Hey.

Good luck.

What's up?

Nothing much.

Uh...

Did you, uh... did you get a haircut?

No.

Right.

Uh...

I just... just came over here to say

that I'm, uh,

you know, sorry for not texting you back.

Uh, I was kind of, like, busy with, like,

you know, family stuff and...

...back-to-school shopping and...

Uh...

Yeah, I...

You're a pretty cool person, so I was just, you know,

wondering if you want to, like, hang out again ever.

You, uh...

You punched my friend Josh in the face.

Yeah. Yeah, I...

-Yeah. -Okay, well, later.

(SIGHS)

(GOLDEN HAZE BY SASHA LJUNG PLAYING)

Let me stay

Playing in a golden haze...

-BOY: So, free food. -(LIVELY CHATTER)

Ah, I like that. I like that.

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

Oh, I'll let you know

Oh, no...

WOMAN: Hi, guys. Welcome to Visual Arts Club.

This year, we're doing a mural, some more analog photography,

and we just got a big donation of video equipment.

SOUP: Yo, Wang-Wang!

So we're hoping to make more video art...

Fantasies always tasted

Sweeter than a Fabergé

Okay

Some things you could never save

Horizon looking strange

I can't stay here

Today

(SONG ENDS)

CHUNGSING: Hi, Dìdi.

Hai hai.

(IN MANDARIN) How was today?

(IN ENGLISH) Uh, yeah.

Yeah, it-it was pretty good.

I, um, signed up for Visual Arts Club.

-Oh. -Yeah.

(IN MANDARIN) Have you eaten yet?

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SNORING SOFTLY)

I've hated everyone I've ever thought I'd ever been

Got lost in self-reflection Sure, I often got it wrong

But lately I'm afraid the damage done is all

It made me self-aware and fucked up

From this trip I've been on

Every time I talk

It's the talking that drives you mad

Every time I stop

It's the silence I can't withstand

My hands have been in a ghost land

I just don't wanna be wrong again

I tend to circle and nose-dive all the time

I used to sit around

Dissect my thoughts until I drowned out

Every single sentence I could never say out loud

One day, I hope to make it up to everyone I punished

Droning on and on about whatever again

Every time I talk

It's the talking that drives you mad

Every time I stop

It's the silence I can't withstand

I wanna get next to you

But I never know what to say or do

With my eyes and my hands and my body

I just wanna get next to you

I've hated everyone I've ever thought I'd ever been

One day, I hope to make it up to myself

Every time I talk

It's the talking that drives you mad

Every time I stop

It's the silence I can't withstand

My hands have been in a ghost land

I just don't wanna be wrong again

I tend to circle and nose-dive all the time

I wanna get next to you

But I never know what to say or do

With my eyes and my hands and my body

I just wanna get next to you

But every time I talk

It's the talking that drives you mad

Every time I stop

It's the silence I can't withstand

My hands have been in a ghost land

I just don't wanna be wrong again

I tend to circle and nose-dive all the time

I've hated everyone I ever thought I'd ever been

One day, I hope to make it up

To myself