Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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I left the burner on.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

♪ I put all my blues away ♪

♪ When the evening sun goes down ♪

♪ The heat of the day ♪

♪ The country and the town ♪

♪ I can hear the rustling of leaves ♪

♪ And the settling of dew ♪

♪ Birds are sleeping in the trees ♪

♪ And I'm wide awake with you ♪

What about me, huh?

Doesn't the blue light ruin my sleep too?

Okay. Here. Here you go.

Hey, stop!

I can't see, I can't see.

Ah!

No biting.

Ow. No biting.

Bad dog.

Baby, haven't you seen that show before?

Yeah, I have.

You know, reruns are actually really great.

Like comfort food?

No, no, no. It's not indulgent.

It's actually healthy.

You know, the predictability reduces stress.

Are you stressed, Jo-Jo?

-I'm fine. -Mm.

-I have my wage review today. -Can I get a mug?

-Babe. -She's six weeks.

Exactly. She doesn't need caffeine right now.

How about, you know, when her naps get a little longer.

Lucien. A sip is fine.

Okay.

Mm! Stop it!

What are you two getting into today?

Um...

-Are you serious? -Yes.

We're gonna eat, shit, and sleep.

Hm. You must find the predictability

-reduces your stress. -Mm.

Okay, you can go.

One day at a time, baby.

-Go! -Going.

Good luck today.

Thank you.

Lucien?

You'll be fine.

It's just a few hours.

It's nine hours.

Call a friend.

Or I don't know. Fuck it.

Watch TV.

Okay. I really have to leave now.

Hm.

-See you later, okay? -Mm.

Hey phone, start timer.

No.

What?

Hey phone, white spot, nipple, breastfeeding.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Shh.

Okay.

Hell yeah.

Fuck you.

Yep, you're up.

Oh.

Hey, phone, end timer.

Hello.

Hello, I'm talking to you.

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

What do you want to do today, huh?

Yeah, I have one guess, and I think I'm right.

All right, well, I'm not gonna let you eat alone.

Oh, that's not delicious.

Get something.

Bingo.

All right.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Hi, ma'am, are you--

Shh! Come in.

My baby's sleeping.

Oh, oh.

Are you Joanna Blau?

Sometimes.

Uh-huh, well, um...

Do you need a glass of water?

No, thank you.

Gotta keep moving.

Oh, just one second.

Can you open this?

Oh, okay.

Oh.

My, my, what a strong man.

- Could you just please-- - What time is it?

It's about 9:15.

And what day is it?

It's Monday.

Right.

Ma'am, if you could just please--

Don't call me ma'am, call me miss.

Okay, miss.

-I'm kidding, call me Joanna. -Yeah, I really--

Are you real?

I'm sorry?

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm dreaming.

Ow!

Oh, shit, what the fuck?

Oh, sorry, I was supposed to pinch myself.

-Oh, my God. -Oh, shit!

Oh, I--

Okay, I--

I-- I have a schedule.

Oh.

♪ Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up ♪

♪ Gonna join the world ♪

Alma?

Alma?

Where's my baby?

Alma!

Alma!

Alma!

Where are you?

Where are you? Alma!

Holy fuck.

Holy fuck.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Hello? Is now a good time?

Wait, what? I called you, Mom.

Oh, I know, I know.

But is now a good time, or can we talk later?

Well, now is a terrible time, but now is the time I called

because I want to talk to you now.

Okay, okay, just let me step out.

What's going on, sweetie?

Well, I'm taking care of a tiny baby all by myself.

Um, there's poop everywhere, my nipple is bleeding,

I'm having weird dreams, and I'm very, very sad.

You don't sound sad. You sound mad.

Well, I'm mad, too.

Oh, honey, I wish you weren't so far away.

Well, why don't you just come here and, like, take care of us?

Honey, you're already coming here at Thanksgiving.

That's really soon.

I'll meet the baby then.

I don't need you to meet the baby, Mom.

I need you to, like, hold the baby.

Jo, you can do this.

Women have been doing this for thousands of years,

with much, much less.

I didn't have anyone to help me.

I know, I know.

You know what I told myself when you were born?

What?

Any moron can have a baby.

Okay.

What I mean is, you're not the first one to have a baby.

But it's-- it's my first time having a baby.

I'm the first one to have this baby.

Oh, sweetie, I wish you didn't live so far away.

I'd do all your dishes and take out your trash

and let you sleep.

Then just come. I'll pay for your ticket.

Joanna, honey, if you--

Mom, you have no idea how badly I need family right now.

Is Lucien's family coming in?

They live halfway around the world.

It's, like, a really big deal for them to come here.

They wish they could be here.

You know what?

Listen, honey, I'm gonna get you Aunt Miriam's number.

She used to live in Chicago.

She probably still does.

She was very cool.

-Like you. -Who is this?

Your dad's brother Leonard's ex-wife.

Oh, you just loved her when you were little.

I-- I have no memory of this person.

Of course you don't. You were a baby.

I want my mom.

I'm fixing it, okay?

You're gonna have somebody, and I'll see you in eight weeks.

It'll go by so fast, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Hey, phone,

start timer.

Bless you.

Hey, phone, end timer.

♪ You got the drive, you got the goods ♪

♪ Life's your oyster, eat it like you should ♪

♪ Badum bum ♪

♪ You try so hard, you work all day ♪

Sandra!

- Joanna! - Hi!

- Oh, let me see that baby. - Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, congratulations.

You did it!

- Hey, phone, start timer. - Oh, my goodness.

What are you doing here?

I--I got on the bus, and I got off here.

Okay.

It feels really good to be here.

-Like, so good. -Really?

Yes, it does.

Hey, is your vagina like a gaping open mouth now?

You have no idea.

I do not remember anything about my vagina before.

Okay, because it fucking burns, right?

- Oh, yes, it does. - Yeah.

You gotta get those little ice pack pad things

- they make you-- - I have them.

-Are you back? -Hi!

- Oh, hi, Tommy. - Oh, mommy!

Oh, my God, I found the perfect Halloween costume

for you, and, um...

-Alma. -Alma.

- Alma. - Thank you.

- Sorry. - It's okay.

- Check this out. - Oh, wow.

Oh, okay, that's horrendous.

You should send that to Amber, right?

- She's on maternity leave? - Yeah.

Can I sing to her?

Oh, um, probably not.

She's asleep, so rain check.

Um, is-- is Irene here?

Uh, yeah.

Do you guys have, like, a-- a meeting?

No, no, I just-- I was coming to say hi.

Um, hey, do you want to get lunch after?

Uh, it is literally, like, 10:20.

- Is it? - Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, plus I've been going to the gym on my break.

Oh, that's great.

Maybe another time.

For sure.

Oh, baby, are you okay?

I'm fine.

- You sure? - Yeah.

I'm just really tired.

I'm fine. Don't even worry.

Um, great to see you.

- Yeah, you too. - Yeah.

Oh, poor baby.

Can I sing to you?

Knock knock.

Joanna!

Baby.

Hey, Irene, is now a good time?

Sure, hon. Come on in.

I just wanted you to meet Alma.

Adorable. How old now?

Six weeks.

So beautiful.

How's she sleeping?

Um, great. Yeah.

Yeah, we got really lucky.

Good.

I got this advice when my son was born, and it saved me.

Sleep when she sleeps.

Huh.

Wow. I haven't heard that.

So, do you feel different?

Mm, you know, I feel like myself.

Yeah. I'm kind of shocked

at how much I feel like myself, you know?

Like, I have new responsibilities, of course,

but my goals are all the same.

-Like, every-- -This isn't a test, Joanna.

Okay.

Yeah, I do feel pretty different.

-Yeah. -It's the biggest life change.

Your priorities shift.

Totally. Yeah.

I mean, I haven't felt like making any real art, you know?

Like, anything meaningful.

Like, not like graphics, but something like a real piece,

and just in forever.

I mean, well, not since this parasite came along.

Not that she's a disease.

Well, not that a parasite is a disease.

Those are two different things. Um, I--

You know what? What am I saying?

I love her, obviously.

Um, I just-- I don't feel like I know her yet.

Like, she's kind of aloof.

Well, from what I can see, she's darling.

Eh, we'll see.

Okay.

I'm swamped, hon, so.

Oh, actually, um, no, this is why--

this is why I wanted to talk to you.

I-- I was thinking that I could come back, like, now-ish.

Oh, no, honey, we've got someone to cover graphics.

Um, thank you, but, um, no, I feel--

I feel ready to come back.

It's not possible this quarter. You told me you'd be out.

Okay, um, yeah, we could just keep it as is for December,

-I think, and-- -I'll see what I can do,

but I'm pretty certain your replacement

will be continuing on.

Like, working on my projects?

Working on our projects, yes.

Right. No, I just-- it's the--

I designed the new logo and-- and the whole look.

I-- I have a lot of new ideas.

Well, I'm pretty sure

she'll put her own spin on things, not to worry.

I think she finds the work pretty meaningful.

Irene, come on.

I-- Of course the work is meaningful.

It's just-- it's a job, right?

I mean, it's my job. I'm really good at it.

I could do it in my sleep,

which I don't even have to do because I never sleep.

I could do it any time. I could do it at 2 a.m.,

I'm-- I'm awake. I'm available, like, call me up.

We're covered, sweetie, not to worry.

Okay, um, I just want to pause here and just--

let's just take a look at what's happening.

Because I-- I worked until I delivered,

and then I asked for three months off

to take care of my newborn,

and now I don't have a job anymore,

which it's-- it's just sounding sort of illegal.

I'll tell you what's happening.

You weren't available for the job,

so we got a replacement.

Well, I wasn't available because I had a baby.

It makes no difference why you weren't available.

It could have been for any reason,

and I would have had to hire someone new.

Well, I don't think you can let someone go

just for having a baby.

I-- I'm not letting you go.

I don't have any work for you right now.

It has nothing to do with you having a baby.

Well, obviously it does because I would have been here

- if I didn't have a baby, so-- - Joanna,

don't take it personally, we found someone

who's available.

I'm sitting here telling you I am available now.

I'd love to come back.

Joanna, I've been in your shoes.

I've wanted to be supermom and a career woman.

Irene, I just want to work at my job, okay?

I want to spare you saying something you'll regret.

I remember that the hormonal changes

and sleep deprivation made me

a very different person for a while.

Was your boss this compassionate when you had your son?

Honey, I wasn't a contract worker.

I had a full-time job.

That's what I thought I had.

We weren't your only client, Joanna, were we?

Wait, what?

What are-- wait, like...

You-- You're saying you're my client?

I-- You're-- I'm your employee.

You're 1099, Joanna.

You're a freelancer.

So?

So, you need to find yourself some new clients.

You have a baby.

I know.

Hey, phone, end timer.

♪ The stars will align, baby ♪

♪ Maybe ♪

♪ It's all based on babies ♪

♪ Maybe ♪

♪ The stars will align, baby ♪

♪ Badum bum ♪

Ugh.

Holy shit.

You have to change your baby.

- Yeah, I'm aware. - What are you do--

Get out of the bal--

-You're caught in the balloons. -Am I?

Yes, get--

Stop. Slow down.

Sorry about that.

Okay.

My loves!

I just sat down.

Aw!

Are you cold?

Come here.

Let's get you some clothes.

I literally just--

Yeah, I got a dollar raise today.

Oh, that's great.

Mm. You went outside today?

Yeah, we took a walk.

Oh, that's good, Jo-Jo.

Yeah, fresh air's really good for her.

- Hm. - Okay.

Coffee?

Um, a few sips.

How'd she nap today?

Not wonderfully.

Oh, babe, have tea for now.

Yeah. Have you seen Alma

when she doesn't have her coffee?

It's not cute.

Okay, we'll start dinner.

Oh, you have poop on you.

God, I forgot.

An appetizer?

Mmm, yeah.

Thank you.

You have no idea how much I want--

Oh my God, are you okay?

Oh, my God.

I don't know, I'm fine.

You sure?

Yeah.

Fine.

Oh, hey, I'll take one.

Oh, go on, take a few.

Thank you.

Oh my God.

I'm sorry.

Ow.

Help.

Who is it?

Hi, Miriam. It's Joanna, Leonard's niece.

Sorry I'm late, I--

Who is it?

It's Joanna.

Miriam.

I told you it was me.

Oh, God.

Do you drink coffee?

Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.

All right, the canister's in the cabinet

right above the sink.

I won't have any if you're not.

Oh, I am. The water just boiled.

Yeah.

Thank you. Okay.

I didn't know you'd be bringing the baby?

Yeah, well, we're kind of a package deal.

Leonard and I did not want to have children.

People really romanticize it,

but, um, it's actually really hard.

Hey, Miriam, how exactly do you want me to make this coffee?

The cone's in the sink.

Oh.

Great.

Um, filters?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I wanted you to meet your grandniece.

This is Alma.

Very nice.

-Mazel tov. -Thank you.

There are cookies behind you.

Oh.

Yeah.

Just bring the can.

I hope you're not going to be talking to me about your baby.

I truly am not interested.

Oh, okay, um...

So you're not going to hold her while I take a nap?

- What? - I don't know. That's--

That's what everyone says they're going to do, like,

I'll come over and hold her while you rest.

But so far, no one's shown up.

You came across town for me to hold your baby?

No, I came across town for you to hold me.

What?

I'm kidding. Kind of.

I thought you were here to sell me Tupperware or Mary Kay.

Um, do you need Tupperware or Mary Kay?

I like the samples.

Okay.

-Oh. Right. -Oh, yeah.

You know what?

We should probably get going anyway.

Goodbye.

Okay. Um...

All right.

It was lovely meeting you, Miriam.

You know, if you need anything--

I don't. You do. Remember?

What?

You need someone to hold your baby.

I can hold my baby.

I'm not your mother.

Thank God.

Wow.

Okay.

Where would you like to sit?

Um, on the floor?

Okay.

There should be a place where you could have

picnics year-round.

Right here?

No, no, no. Like, a place you'd go to.

Like, there'd be, like, AstroTurf on the ground.

Hammocks and-- and, like--

And, like, lawn games and those-- those UV lamps.

- Uh. - You know?

Would people bring their own picnic baskets?

Yeah, or you could have concessions.

Like, you could have...

You could have gluten-free baskets,

meat baskets, vegetarian baskets,

cheese baskets, fruit baskets.

You could have baskets with just donuts inside.

And just, like, really...

- I get it, I get it. - Any kind of basket.

And then no sunscreen required.

-It's great. -You're not wondering

where the toilet is?

-Ew. -What?

Like, when you say that, it sounds like it's an emergency.

-You prefer bathroom? -Uh, yeah.

I would much rather have people imagining me

taking a bubble bath than taking a shit.

"Excuse me, boss.

I have to use the toilet."

It sounds like it's too late.

But do you think every time you tell someone

you're going to the toilet, they're actually imagining

-what you're doing in there? -Mm-hmm.

Yeah, they do.

Now, when they show up, try not to roll up

on them in your little chair.

Guests don't like that.

Lucien, that woman needs help.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go pee

and maybe fart a little bit.

Just want to give you an accurate picture while I'm away.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

-Friends! -You're alive.

-How are you doing? -Good.

What's happening in the outside world?

Oh, she's so tiny.

Yeah, despite eating constantly.

We come bearing tacos.

Yum, yum, yum. Go sit down.

You have an actual, real-life baby.

So far. Yeah.

Is everything going okay?

Hey, where's the father?

He's in the toilet.

I just asked because my niece was really colicky,

-so my sister got-- -Oh, God, yeah.

She cries a lot.

I cry a lot.

At the hospital, they gave me these pamphlets

that are like, "Your baby's gonna cry a lot,

but don't shake your baby.

And she needs to breastfeed every two hours,

but don't shake your baby.

And her poop's gonna be yellow, but don't shake your baby."

So, wait, are you supposed to shake the baby or not?

No, of course not.

I know, I'm kidding.

Oh.

Hello.

Congratulations, Daddy.

Thank you. Oh, and thank you for dinner.

So, what's it like?

I want the play-by-play.

Play-by-play of what?

Like, a day in the life.

We don't have any other parent friends.

Neither do we.

- Well, thanks for going first. - No.

If I make it through on the other end,

I'll share all my secrets.

Hmm.

In other news, I got fired.

- What? - No, not exactly fired.

So, are you just gonna stay home with Alma now?

I guess, yeah.

It's good for the baby.

Yeah, she really needed a win.

I bet you'll find something.

If that's what you want.

You could just binge-watch a bunch of shows right now.

It's like an unpaid staycation.

It's really not.

No, I know.

I could never do it.

Yes, you could.

Oh, being responsible for a baby is so scary.

And if we ever have kids, I'm totally gonna be the one

that stays at home.

Wendy makes so much more money than me.

Well, that's what's strange.

It's like the parent who raises the kid is the one

who made all the horrible, short-sighted,

selfish decisions.

Well, only in their most important formative years.

Well, Jo, if you're gonna be a stay-at-home mom...

-Bleh. -...there's only one thing

you need to know.

-Don't shake your baby! -Don't shake the baby!

Totally.

Thanks for coming over so early, you guys.

Oh, thanks for letting us see your gorgeous baby.

And, hey, if you ever want some company,

maybe we could get, like, a tea or something.

That'd be cool. Yeah, thanks, Wendy.

Hey, Jo, I have an idea.

The café has a lull right now with the artwork.

The next artist installs in, like, two weeks.

So, do you want to put some work out?

Seriously?

-Well, what about, like-- -It wouldn't have to be framed.

It's just a lull, so there wouldn't be

an opening or anything.

It's just, like, whatever you got.

I don't need an opening. I'm just excited

for people to see my art. That's cool.

Honestly, nobody really looks at it.

I do.

Kidding. People look at it,

but they never buy it.

-That's true. -Well, I don't care about that.

You'd have to self-install.

What, like, put thumbtacks into a wall?

I can handle that.

-Great. -It's great.

Uh, and it's gotta be new stuff.

What do you mean, new?

Well, you did one of these lulls before.

What, like, last spring?

So we just need, like, no repeats.

Okay, I just...

I don't know if I have anything new.

Since last spring?

Yeah, asshole.

I've been busy.

Of course, um...

-Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. -No, you should have asked.

I'm sorry, I didn't-- I just mean I wish

I had something new, that's all.

-No, I get it. -No.

-Sorry, dude. -Sorry, I didn't mean to--

I hate myself. Okay?

I don't mean that. I just wish I had

literally anything to put on a wall.

It's fine.

I get it. Look, I don't want to put

any pressure on you. There is totally no rush.

Why don't you let me know when you have something,

and then we'll just-- We'll get you in the next lull.

Sounds good.

-Jo. -Oh, Joanne, are you okay?

I'm fine. You should go.

Time to go.

Babe, what's the matter? What happened?

-What am I doing? -What?

With my life.

You're taking care of our child.

What's more important than that?

I want to do something I'm good at.

Take a breath, okay?

Joanne, you're smart as hell.

You can do whatever you want.

You're good at graphics. You could... get more clients.

And start my own business?

Or you have very good ideas.

You can freaking become an entrepreneur.

Right now?

Okay, I'm brainstorming, all right?

I know you're brainstorming.

Thing about Alma and think about the future

and money.

No, babe, I'm thinking about you.

You can pick anything, and you'd be good at it.

I did pick something.

I don't even do it anymore.

What are you talking about?

I spent so much fucking money on art school for what?

To do graphics?

I sold out.

I didn't make any money, and I got fired.

I'm not an artist anymore either, so it doesn't matter.

Yeah, but you were never any good.

-You were-- -All right, you fucked--

-That's fucked up. -I sold a piece in school.

You peaked too early.

You were in it for the nude models.

No, babe. I was in it for you.

Stop. It's bedtime.

I got it.

Now, this is if she wants to take a nap.

- Is that a dog bed? - No.

- It's a baby bed. - Oh.

Okay. Thank you.

I never drink coffee on audition days.

And I don't usually have guests.

Oh!

We don't have to--

We'll have a little coffee, and then you two will go.

Okay. Sounds good.

So, are you an actress?

I am.

Wow. I didn't know that.

How would you?

You were probably her age when we met.

Do you remember me?

What would be to remember?

Wow. Yeah.

I'm quite good.

I was in New York for many years.

And Hollywood.

So, Chicago must have really captured your heart, huh?

Not really.

I've missed New York, but it's out of my price range.

Why are you here?

College.

And I met my husband here. We got jobs.

I mean, we thought about New York,

but it's just not in the cards.

If you want city life that's affordable, Chicago.

The city of compromise.

Well, cheers to that.

You were really different the other day.

Well, working on new material is rejuvenating.

Now I'm feeling more myself.

All right, dear. Time to go.

Oh.

Miriam has to work.

Yeah.

Don't forget your baby.

Right.

Just when I started to feel like a person again.

Can't forget.

Do you know how long she's been asleep?

No.

I forgot to set-- Mm.

Um.

If I touch her, she's going to wake up.

So, um.

Can I just help you with your lines or something?

That would be helpful.

Great.

Thank you.

Bless you.

Are you okay?

Uh-huh.

I'm scared to sleep.

-What kind of theater do you-- -You look tired.

Oh.

I don't really like chitchat, do you?

No, not really.

We don't have to talk.

Cool.

Hey, phone, start timer.

What did you say?

I was just setting my phone timer.

Your what?

Um, I time her naps.

Why?

So I can see how long she sleeps.

Why?

So I can see if she's doing a good job.

Who are you submitting this to?

No one. I just--

We just-- at the end of the day,

kind of look at it, you know, see if there's anything

we could improve.

Okay.

Please don't do that here.

Hey, phone, end timer.

Hm.

You look like you're waiting for the dental hygienist

to call your name, do something.

No, I didn't, I didn't bring anything.

All right.

Just wait for your baby to wake up.

I'm not waiting.

You may stay here, but please,

please find something to do.

Did you hear back from your audition?

No.

Well, they're idiots.

You were amazing.

Thanks, Joanna.

- Just gas. - Oh.

Oh, baby, are we having too much fun?

Yeah, she can sense it.

Do you have to go?

Yeah, I should probably be home for dinner.

You're welcome to stay for a frozen entrée.

Mm, so tempting.

Hey, Miriam, could you help me with this?

We could order in.

God damn it!

Hey.

Miriam?

Hey, are you okay?

Yes, I want to be alone.

The next one, I think this is from you.

This is from Kelsey.

Okay.

That's nice.

Oh, my goodness.

-They're so small. -Aw!

It's cute.

I love it!

Oh, they come out even smaller than that!

Thank you.

-Adorbs. -This one is from McKenna.

What'd you do?

Oh!

I can't get a puppy, I can't get a puppy.

I'm about to have a baby. I can't go get a puppy.

This one is from me.

Oh, my God.

Sandra.

Thank you.

It's for the-- it's for tubby time.

The little scrubby-dubbies in the tubby.

It's for the tub time. You just put the baby in there--

Jo, does this just make life so much easier?

We just use the tub.

Oh, but it's so much more fun for baby to have bright,

beautiful things around.

Yeah.

Yeah, probably true.

And this one, I'm not sure, is this one--

is this one from Linda? I'm not sure.

Linda, did you do this one?

- Jo. - Hm?

Aren't you breastfeeding?

Yeah, I am.

Mm. Mm.

Okay, um...

This one's from Linda.

Thank you so much. Appreciate you.

Okay, well, that's terrifying.

Look, these are from the worst baby shower I've ever been to.

For whose baby?

You?

Am I the baby?

Come on in.

I mean, where is this going anyway?

Don't you stay.

Miriam? You okay?

Oh, my--

Here, let me help you, let me help you.

Let me help you get up.

Okay.

I don't need your help.

Yes, hold on. It's okay, it's okay.

Let me just put you on the bed, okay?

Oh, God.

Do you take any medications, Miriam?

-What are you doing? -Do you take any medications?

-Get off me! -Any pills?

Do you take any pills?

Stop.

-Ah! -No biting, no biting!

God.

Stop.

Stay down, stay, lay down, lay down.

Stay. Okay?

Sit up.

It's okay.

Good afternoon, Dr. Schwartz' office.

Hi, is Dr. Schwartz available?

Is this an emergency?

Yes, Miriam Fischel was very violent and incoherent and I--

Okay, I'll get the doctor, hold please.

This is Dr. Schwartz.

Hi, hi, this is Joanna Blau.

I'm Miriam Fischel's niece.

She just wasn't being herself today.

She was getting violent and confused.

And so I gave her something and I'm kind of scared.

Um, I went to her medicine cabinet

and I got carb-- carbamazepine.

And I just, I don't know if I was supposed

to give that to her.

Okay, what is her state now, Joanna?

Um, she's asleep.

Okay, and is she or you hurt?

No.

All right, so she's stabilized,

so there's no need to take her to the ER.

Her mania usually lasts a few days,

but the convulsion should subside with the meds.

Do you know if she's been drinking?

Yeah, she has wine sometimes.

Okay, she really shouldn't, not with these meds.

- Okay. - Let's have Nancy

stay with her until she wakes up.

-And then have her call us. -Okay, who's Nancy?

Nancy Gray.

She's Miriam's caregiver during these manic periods.

Okay, okay.

Um, yeah, I have her card here.

Okay, thank you, Dr. Schwartz. Bye.

We're sorry, the number you have dialed--

Hey, babe. I brought this hand pump.

I sterilized it.

Oh, there you go.

-And I brought the instructions. -Amazing.

All right.

Thanks.

Oh, wait. Could you actually just wait out here?

-Just in case Miriam wakes up. -No problem.

-Sure. -Okay.

I'll be back with my specimen.

Okay.

Say a word.

I got the stuff.

Can I see it first?

It's good stuff. It's the creamiest.

Well, that's what they all say.

All right, it's all right.

Thanks for coming.

I thought my first night away would be, like,

some awesome vacation

or us having loud sex in a hotel.

Yeah, me too.

It's nothing like what I expected.

Me neither.

What did you expect?

I don't know.

I thought we'd be happier.

Thanks.

I'll miss you, Shu-shu.

Come on, come on, come on.

Miriam, it's me, it's me.

I thought you were a burglar.

I'm sorry, I'm not.

Can you disarm, please?

Something wrong?

Last night, you were having some problems,

and so I called Dr. Schwartz,

and he walked me through the protocol.

What? The protocol?

Get out of my house.

Miriam, I was helping you.

You needed help last night.

I was very scared.

I have somebody who comes over on the rare occasion

that I need help.

Nancy is dead, okay?

You needed me.

It's very lucky that I was here.

Oh, I'm lucky?

For your information, I know Nancy's dead.

-Greta stays over now. -I didn't know that.

Yeah, you didn't know that because I didn't tell you.

Well, it's okay.

You were not in a good place.

You were not yourself.

I'm always myself.

Always.

Let me make this clear, Joanna.

I have a system, and you're not a part of it.

Miriam, I'm family, okay?

Family helps each other.

You don't need to call some random person

-to come over here. -Yeah, I could call--

Are you listening?

I want family to take care of me!

I don't!

I'm just going to clean up and go.

Joanna.

You're not my family.

My husband was my family.

Where's the baby?

At home with Lucien.

Oh.

I'll be gone soon, okay?

Don't worry.

Lucien?

Lucien!

What? What's going on? What happened?

-Is she okay? -What?

She's fine, she's fine.

I just had the most amazing idea.

You can't do that, I thought something

-happened to her. -Elder shower.

What?

Elder shower, okay?

So I call up everyone in Miriam's Rolodex,

and I invite them to, like, this baby shower type thing,

but instead of a baby shower, it's an elder shower,

so they don't bring little baby things,

I bring little old people things.

Oh, yeah. It's a great idea.

Everything about babies is disgusting,

but it all becomes so cute because it's covered in,

like, bunnies and trains and stuff, right?

Like, even the most taboo topics, like poop,

and, like, I mean, I guess mainly poop.

It all becomes, like, easy to talk about

because all the stuff is so adorable.

Babies and old people, they need all the same things.

They need people to push them around, feed them,

help them go to the bathroom.

It's sad when it's an adult, but it's cute when it's a baby.

-Why is that? -People like miniatures.

Old people are cute, too, but their stuff

is just, like, so sterile.

It could be fashionable.

I could totally see Miriam with, like, a badass cane.

Or, like, diapers with owls on them.

Right. Why do adult diapers have to be so sad?

Okay, there's a kernel of an idea here.

Miriam needs all this shit, but she just can't afford it.

Yeah, but she's not that old, is she?

Exactly. Medicare provides you

with only the most basic stuff,

like ugly canes with, like, a rubber bottom

and, like, a commode.

She needs to be surrounded by bright, beautiful things.

No, no, she doesn't need this, okay?

Oh, she does. She needs a community

of people destigmatizing her needs.

Joanna, I don't know her,

but I know she'll hate this.

This is how everything becomes a social norm.

Think about it. Consumerism, right?

Think about Christmas. Why does everyone want

a reindeer on their lawn?

It's because they see it in the store, okay?

We just have to put them in the stores.

Get the idea out there. Everyone's gonna want it.

Okay, babe, this is a very bad idea,

and I don't think you should do this.

I need to get her Rolodex.

She doesn't have that many friends.

Exactly. It'd be a great way

to reconnect with all her old friends.

But you hated Amber's baby shower.

Because that was cheesy and lame.

This is gonna be really classy.

I have to do something, okay?

Other than this.

I'm literally suffocating.

Can't you just think about me for once

instead of making always about her?

I'm always thinking about you.

Coffee. That's really good stuff.

Hello, this is Miriam Fischel.

Please give me a message.

Thank you.

Hi, Miriam.

I'm really sorry I overstepped.

I think I get it now.

You just want to be friends and nothing more.

It's fine.

I get that.

Just please let us still be friends.

These cookies are terrible.

Miriam, you would have hated this baby shower.

I'm sure.

There was pin the sperm on the egg.

Oh, that sounds disgusting.

I know.

I'm a bit lonely.

I'm the loneliest I've ever been.

And I'm never alone.

You can come over.

Really?

Joanna, I like you.

Please don't mess this up.

So Lucien is a software developer.

Well, sort of, he's actually more

in customer service, but he's moving up.

Because he's really good at coding and he's got

all these great ideas for apps.

But I'm working on my own ideas so like when the time comes,

I can give them to him and we can make a ton of money.

So I was thinking, I have this really great idea

for live radar of where there's free samples in your area.

- Free samples? - Yeah.

So you put your location into the app

and then it tells you where all the free samples

are in your area.

It's like a live feed, which is why I'm calling it Live Feed.

-So this will be a real thing. -Yeah.

-A map of free food. -Yeah, yeah.

Or you could call it The Trough.

- What about Nosh? - Oh, that's elegant.

I like that. I don't know.

There's something grungy about the idea that I kind of like.

I feel like the free guacamole at the grocery store

is kind of disgusting, you know?

It is. It's pretty disgusting.

I've always wanted somebody to invent a little book

to guide me to the places I frequent

because I have no inner compass and it's unsettling.

Like GPS.

I personally cannot stand GPS.

Sunscreen pill.

Mm-hmm. It takes forever

to put sunscreen on, so instead,

you just take the pill 15 minutes before

you go outside and you're all set.

You seem jumpy.

I'm not jumpy. I don't know. I'm--

I'm happy.

I'm happy to be here.

This is where I want to be.

Does Lucien get you?

Does he get me?

Yes, you're a nut.

Does he get that?

He definitely knows I'm a nut.

You mean, does he appreciate it?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Not enough.

It is so rare to have a partner who gets you.

With whom you can be yourself and do what you do

and not apologize for it.

Ultimately, Leonard, he didn't really get me,

and I didn't really get him either.

Lucien wants me to do what I want, but he also wants me

to make money, you know, which is fair.

I think he's kind of like,

let's be grown-ups now.

Grown-ups make art.

Well, I don't really have any creative juices.

You know what? You sound creative right now.

I'm either really happy or really sad.

Yeah.

So happy...

or so sad.

I kind of want some middle.

Middle...

is for suckers.

I still want a little of it.

I'd like a little bit of it, too, sometimes.

Is there anything I can do for you?

I don't know. You seem like...

sometimes you're a little unsteady.

Like, would a wheelchair be helpful?

Uh...

Yeah, you're more of a walking stick kind of gal.

Hmm. I should probably get going.

Hey, if you need anything, just call.

I'm not gonna be calling you. You're a wreck.

You can barely take care of your baby.

I am kidding.

Oh, my God, Joanna.

I'm just teasing.

Come on, Joanna.

No, no, no, no.

No, look at her.

Look at her. She's absolutely alive.

You-- you just don't...

exactly strike me as a mother.

And that's a compliment.

Okay.

Thank you.

Hi.

I'm Joanna.

I don't really know you yet.

You don't really know me.

But I'm a really interesting person.

I have a lot of fun ideas for things we can do together.

Like...

making dollhouse food out of clay.

Learning an entire cookbook together.

Going to the Art Institute and pretending we live there.

Cross-country train trips.

It's all so far away.

We can barely get through a day together, just the two of us.

You need me, but...

I don't think you love me.

You look at everyone the same.

But I'm the one who's always there for you.

It's me every time.

I want you to see me.

I don't even think you prefer me,

let alone love me.

I can't keep going without your love.

I need you to show me that you love me.

Please, Alma.

Just give me a sign that you love me.

I distinctly remember crossing you off my guest list.

What are you doing here?

Dear Margo, you were an unforgettable Peter Pan.

You must play it again soon.

Is that Marilyn Monroe?

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Hi, Eliza. This is Joanna Blau.

I'm Miriam Fischel's niece.

Yeah, I'm throwing her a last-minute party.

Well, there's not really an occasion, actually.

Damn, this is hot.

It's nice.

Still not on board with this, but...

looks amazing.

Lucien.

Huh?

I watched a movie today.

Mm.

What movie?

All About Eve.

That's a good movie.

Mm-hmm.

Alma was there.

-At Miriam's? -Yeah.

I don't think blue light is a problem

with black and white films. It's okay.

Yeah.

I know it's okay.

Okay.

Maybe she needs more blue light, you know?

Maybe it'll open up her eyes.

I don't even know what they look like.

What do you mean?

She never looks at me.

Like, you spend 20 minutes a day with her,

and she looks at you.

I spend more than 20 minutes a day with her.

Lucien, I just can't keep...

I had dreams, you know?

This is the dream.

This is it.

I can't stop doing everything that makes me happy

for someone who doesn't give a shit about me.

Joanna, she loves you.

She doesn't love.

She just needs.

How many people are coming?

I think seven or eight.

That's good.

Have fun, babe.

You don't have to lie.

I know you hate the idea.

No, I want this to go well for you, Joanna.

I do.

Okay, well...

To be honest, I'm having second thoughts.

I can just imagine a world where maybe it's not

the best idea to ambush Miriam in her own home

with a bunch of old people gifts.

You don't have to do it.

I know, I just...

I want people to know...

Know what?

That I'm a grown-up.

-Joanna. -What?

You look at least 40 these days.

Jerk.

Nutcase.

Fancy pants.

Weirdo.

Bossy man.

Lazy.

Boring.

Empty.

Weak.

"Artist".

Quitter.

Selfish.

Selfish.

Baby.

I want my goddamn Rolodex back.

The idea was better in my head.

Obviously, it was supposed to be ironic.

Oh, it was. It was a riot.

Your friends are really sweet.

They're not my friends.

They love you, Miriam.

Jesus fucking Christ.

How would you feel if strangers came into your house

to humiliate you?

You're cooped up all day.

You don't take your meds.

You drink. I've never seen you leave.

I don't believe you even auditioned for that play.

You get to do what you love.

I would kill to do what I love.

You have all the time in the world, and you're wasting it.

Oh, what the hell are you doing spending your days here?

Are you working?

Making friends?

-I'm taking care of you. -Oh, I didn't realize.

I thought that I was taking care of you.

Well, you're not doing a very good job.

-Oh, crying baby. -You know what, Miriam?

I would love it if someone threw me a shitty party.

Go ahead, throw me a fucking postpartum depression party.

The door's wide open.

I'm depressed. You're in a mood.

Okay, so you think because your life is sad,

I can't be depressed.

- I'm depressed. - I'm depressed!

-I'm depressed. -I'm depressed.

- I am depressed. - You're an amateur.

-I am depressed! -Oh, I'm depressed too.

I'm depressed!

I came here looking for family.

I don't need a friend.

So, is she sleeping through the night?

No.

Okay.

I'm sure it'll happen soon.

So, are you, um...

Sorry, I can't remember what it is that you do.

I'm a financial analyst.

Oh, okay. Right.

So, when you make a ton of money from selling your amazing art,

you can come to me, and I will tell you how to invest it.

Perfect.

I mean, I don't think I really qualify as an artist,

but I'll call you.

I don't think there's a test.

Yeah.

I guess not.

I just remember seeing your drawings at the showcase

when you and Alex were seniors.

Yours were strange and creepy.

Sort of unforgettable.

Aw, thanks.

I wish I could make something like that or see what you see.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Am I being boring?

Oh, no. Oh, my God.

I'm sorry. It's just been a week.

Well, weeks.

Yeah, I'm not getting a ton of sleep,

so that's kind of...

kind of where I'm at.

Well, we don't have to force this.

No. It's fine-- I'm not...

I don't even remember how to do this.

Are you not seeing friends?

Mm. Just my aunt.

Yeah.

She's as pathetic as I am.

Plus, she's mad at me right now.

I don't know. She's clinically... something.

I don't know what, but--

Yeah, I don't think I'm clinically depressed.

I'm not clinically-- I mean, I don't feel like myself.

You know? I feel empty.

Like-- Well, actually, that's not even true.

I feel full. I feel very full.

And, yeah. I mean, I think it's just normal, though.

It's just what it's like to have a baby.

It's just the ups and downs that you go through.

You know? It's just what it is.

I mean, I'm afraid to go to sleep--

but...

it's nothing to worry about. It's fine.

It's not serious. Just, I think it's--

I think, sleep deprivation.

I'm not worried.

Have you talked to other moms about this?

Ew, other moms.

No.

I don't talk to other moms.

I'm not like a "mom". I just--

I have a baby, you know?

Well, you are, though.

- Mmm. - Maybe...

other moms feel the same way.

Uh-huh.

Sorry, it's just hard to explain to someone

who doesn't have a baby.

Oh.

- Okay. - Oh, sorry.

No, I mean it, like...

No, I'm sorry.

I really didn't mean it like that.

It just came out like that.

-I meant no offense. -No, none taken.

No, I really-- I don't even know.

I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just talking.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

Like, I don't even know-- I don't even know--

Do you and Alex... Do you want kids some day?

Yes.

-Very much. -That's...

-Yeah. -We're trying.

Great.

It's just taking a really long time.

Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't...

I'm sorry.

-I can't stop crying. -Me too.

I think it's the hormones.

Hi.

Hello.

Who gave me the robot vacuum cleaner?

Oh, uh, Vivian.

Who gave me the electric candle set?

So thoughtful.

Ew, I know. Uh, that was Paulette.

What's your address, Joanna?

Oh, you don't need to send me a thank you card.

What is it?

2420 West Fullerton.

Apartment?

2C.

Zip code?

60647.

Okay, thank you.

Goodbye.

Oh, okay.

Bye.

It's a compass.

Thanks, Kathy! Good to see you.

And, uh...

Miriam?

-Yes, hello. -Hi.

Oh, honey, we don't need that.

We'll snap a picture inside.

Oh, okay.

No, go, go, go, go.

Joanna, will you please do me a favor?

On the blue tape, hun?

All right, Miriam, I'll point,

and you'll slate, okay?

You've got chocolate chip cookies there

and a pill bottle.

Any questions?

No.

Okay, here we go.

Miriam Fischel.

Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.

Ahem.

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Okay.

That was a little too real.

Um, Let's try it again with a lighter touch, okay?

It's just reflux.

Right.

You're in the zone.

Can I see?

Mm-hmm.

Do you feel...

like you're drowning?

Do you feel like you're drowning?

I'm drowning.

Forgotten.

Alone.

Mm.

I'm the one who's forgotten and alone.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Joanna's the only person that can have feelings.

Luce, this is obviously so much harder for me

than it is for you.

Or am I just really bad at this?

Come on!

-You're all right. -Oh, my God.

Do you believe the world is a good place, overall?

Not really.

Me neither.

So why do we keep going?

And procreating.

-Mm. -Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

What?

She's looking at me.

What?

She's really looking at me.

She sees me.

She knows who I am. Hi.

Hi.

I'm your mom.

You're my daughter.

I have a daughter.

This is your niece.

Your grandniece, I guess.

Hi, cutie pie.

Hi, Alma.

-Hi, Alma. -Hi, Alma.

We see you.

♪ Well I like to have fun and stick out my tongue ♪

♪ Cause life isn't easy ♪

♪ But it's a whole lot better than none ♪

♪ You tell everyone that your youth isn't over ♪

♪ One, two, three, four, five ♪

♪ It helps me feel alive ♪