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It's time for America's favorite game show:
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Pig in a Poke.
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Pig in a poke It pays to be a glutton
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Pig in a poke
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Oink! Oink! Oink!
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Pig in a poke You could win all or nothing
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Pig in a poke
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Oink! Oink!
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So let's meet our current champions...
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...the Griswalds.
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And here's the star of our show:
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Kent Winkdale.
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Well, Clark, it's time for your big decision.
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Are you gonna keep what's in the poke...
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...or are you gonna risk everything and go for the big prize?
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Johnny, remind our good folks what they have already won.
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A supercharged Honda 750 motorcycle.
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A dream kitchen with brand-new major appliances.
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And for Clark, the king of the family...
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...a 1 0-year supply of Regal Car Polish...
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...the car wax of royalty.
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But first, Clark...
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...why don't you remind our audience who you are and what you do.
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Okay, Kent. l'm Clark W. Griswald.
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I'm in food additives and condiments, not preservatives.
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Not preservatives.
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What about the family, Clark?
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This is my wife, Ellen, my son, Rusty, and daughter, Audrey.
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Hello, Ellen.
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Hi, Rusty.
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And Audrey.
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Well, Clark...
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...you've won some fantastic prizes.
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You wanna keep them...
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...or you wanna risk everything and be a pig?
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Be a pig. Be a pig.
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-Be a pig. Be a pig. -Oh, boy.
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Clark, let's just keep what we have. I love the Señor Cappuccino.
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Dad, don't do it. Nobody ever wins the grand prize.
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Kent, we've decided.
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Oink, oink. We'll be pigs.
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Aah! No!
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So long, motorcycle.
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Well, you're very brave. I wish you luck.
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And now, a fantastic surprise.
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Back by popular demand, the all-time winningest family...
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...in the history of Pig in a Poke, the Froegers.
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The Froegers. Clark, no one's ever beaten the Froegers.
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Now, Mr. Froeger, why don't you tell us about yourselves.
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I won my Nobel Prize in 1 967.
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My wife won hers in 1 970.
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Our son, Moe, has just been elected to the board of Microtech...
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...that's a computer software corporation.
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And our daughter, Ruth, she has just become...
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...the youngest female ever to be accepted at Harvard Law School.
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Good luck to all of you.
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00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,751
Now, let's take a look at our categories. Johnny....
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"Pharmacology."
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"American Explorers."
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"Chronology of the Pharaohs."
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"The Geography of the Brain."
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And "History of Early Hungarian Cabinetmaking."
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-Not bad. Back to you, Kent.
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Froegers, since you're the challengers, you get to pick first category.
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The one about Hungarians.
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Nobody knows anything about Hungarians.
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Well, l don't know. Kent, we'd like "The Geography of the Brain."
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The question is:
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"What are the pyramidal tracts?"
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Five seconds.
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I believe the pyramidal tracts are a housing development...
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...outside of Cairo.
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Too bad.
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Froegers, quickly.
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You are the champions if you get the correct answer.
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Kent, the pyramidal tracts...
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...are a complex of multisynaptic lower motor neurons...
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...which interconnect the basal ganglia with the reticular formation.
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I'm sorry, you said "lower" motor neurons.
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The correct answer is upper motor neurons.
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Upper. Upper.
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Well, nobody wins. -Still in it. Still in it.
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Froegers, select another category.
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"Early Hungarian Cabinetmaking."
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"Αmerican Explorers."
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American Explorers. Griswalds.
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In 1 804, an expedition explored an area...
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...from the Louisiana Territory to the Pacific Coast.
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For the grand prize...
90
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...what lieutenant...
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...led that expedition?
92
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-l give up. -Wait a minute--
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Quiet down. I think I got this one.
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Five seconds.
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-Come on, Dad. -Time's up, Griswalds.
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Do you have an answer?
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-Clark. -That's it.
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Clark, of Lewis and Clark.
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And the Griswalds are our grand prize winners.
100
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-No, that was a mistake. -No.
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She doesn't know that. It was a mistake.
102
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Come on out here.
103
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The Griswalds havejust won a fabulous European vacation.
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We'll fly the whole family to London, England...
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...where you'll start off on a two-week vacation extravaganza...
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...you'll never forget.
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"On to Germany, where you'll enjoy a fine meal at Dieter's on the Ruhr...
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...and dance to the gay music of Esther and the Black Forest Girls."
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I tell you, this is gonna be some vacation, huh, kids?
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Yeah, Dad. Sure.
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Come on, Rusty, give me a hand and set the table.
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Mom, why can't Audrey ever do it?
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Because Audrey has company.
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Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
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-Rusty, come on. -Wait a minute.
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Clark. Russ, obey your mother.
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Jack, I can't stand the thought of being away from you...
118
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-...for a whole two weeks. -Well, it'll be like before we met.
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Before we met, my life was horrible and meaningless...
120
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...wasn't yours?
121
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,954
Yeah, sort of.
122
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Okay.
123
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Let's light them up.
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Audrey, will you please eat something?
125
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All right now, everybody. Let's listen up here.
126
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Let's take a look at the map, go over our schedule here. Okay?
127
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,187
Now, the plane is gonna fly us from Chicago to London.
128
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That's Madrid, Dad.
129
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I think you're right, Russ.
130
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This must be one of those old medieval maps.
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-Yeah, right. -Dad, l've made a decision.
132
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I can't leave Jack, and besides, the food in Europe is fattening.
133
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Yeah, and I like her thin. She eats too much.
134
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,789
Clark, why don't you and l just go alone?
135
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It's obvious that the kids don't even wanna go.
136
00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,001
Of course they wanna go.
137
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We're a family. We're going to Europe as a family.
138
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,424
-Don't we have a say in this? -l think we should have a vote on it.
139
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Okay, l can be big about this.
140
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Form now on, we're a democracy. Everybody gets a vote.
141
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,848
Who's gonna be president?
142
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All right, we'll vote on that. We'll have a secret ballot here.
143
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You write down your choice.
144
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Give it to your mother.
145
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Here you go, Russ.
146
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This'll be for the president...
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...of the Republic of Griswald.
148
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All right, that's one for Clark.
149
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One for Rusty.
150
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One for Jack.
151
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-One for Clark. -Okay, that's two for Clark.
152
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Now, as president of the Griswald Republic...
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...l move we go to Europe.
154
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Jack, you wait here.
155
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,276
Oh, Clark. Oh, what are you doing?
156
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,029
Just a little memento before we go away, honey.
157
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-l just got the kids. -No, no, no.
158
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,949
I don't want anyone to see me like this.
159
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,368
Don't be silly. No one's gonna see you.
160
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,664
Honey, remember that song you did in college in that musical...
161
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...that dance thing?
162
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:30,211
No. I'm not gonna do that. No, Clark, l'm not doing that. No.
163
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Honey, you know l'm gonna erase this.
164
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-Really? -Yeah. Come on.
165
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What do you say?
166
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,929
Okay, okay. You go over here.
167
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I'm ready, honey. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay.
168
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,899
The minute you walked in the joint
169
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:56,446
I could see you were A man of distinction
170
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A real big spender
171
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Good-looking
172
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,287
So refined
173
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:10,001
Wouldn't you like to know What's going on in my mind?
174
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:14,172
So let me get right to the point
175
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:21,971
I don't pop my cork For every guy I see
176
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,600
Hey, big spender
177
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Spend A little time with me
178
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Don't stop, honey.
179
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So sexy. l love you.
180
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:10,186
Jeez, this Pig in a Poke itinerary is just great.
181
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:12,856
You know they've worked it out to the exact minute?
182
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-We won't miss a thing, honey. -Clark...
183
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...why don't we just forget their itinerary...
184
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...and play it by ear? Like normal people.
185
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:24,743
Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswalds.
186
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,332
Oh, kids. l've saved the big surprise for last.
187
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,627
-We're turning around and going home? -No, no, Audrey.
188
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:37,130
We're visiting my relatives in Germany.
189
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,090
Not if we don't vote for it.
190
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,010
-You'll vote for it, Russ. -Why should l?
191
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:45,597
Because I just raised your allowance, that's why.
192
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,808
I think I'm gonna like this democracy stuff.
193
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,521
-Would you like something to drink? -You want something?
194
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,024
-No. No, thank you. -l'll have a Coke.
195
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,026
Do you want that in the can?
196
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,529
No, I'll have it right here.
197
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,578
Honey, push "French."
198
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:12,332
-Give me a French word. -Soufflè.
199
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,209
Soufflè. All right.
200
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,211
Push "English."
201
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:20,548
Okay, instant translation. "Soufflè" means...
202
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:22,759
...soufflè.
203
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,345
It's gotta mean something else. Wait a minute.
204
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:34,771
Lord and Lady Poncenby Smythe.
205
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,232
-Lady Amelia Spicer... -Very nice.
206
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,776
...and the Baron von Richtshofen.
207
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,575
Mr. and Mrs. Clark and Ellen Griswald.
208
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:50,495
Oh, he came. Marvelous.
209
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,996
The Griswalds.
210
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,834
-Wonderful. -Yes.
211
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,962
Say, Chuck, how are you?
212
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:02,632
Good to see you. -You look beautiful. Di.
213
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,301
Great to see you. -You know my son, Charles...
214
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,179
-...and Lady Diana. -This is my wife, Ellen.
215
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,598
-Hello. Wonderful to see you. -Di.
216
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,350
-How are you? -Clark, I do hope...
217
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,143
...we can have the first dance.
218
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,646
There you go again, Di. Listen.
219
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,691
As you well know, the only princess in my life is my wife.
220
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,110
She gets the first dance.
221
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,529
-Sorry. -No, Clark. Wait.
222
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,699
-Sorry. -Wait. Clark.
223
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:08,990
Rusty.
224
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,921
No.
225
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,866
The hills are alive
226
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:19,037
With the sound of Griswalds
227
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:25,376
They should spin around For a very long time
228
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:31,966
I'm feeling so high That l just can't stand it
229
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,303
It's as though l've been here
230
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:40,850
For at least a week
231
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,527
Here we are, guv. The Royal lmperial Windsor Hotel.
232
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,409
It's all right.
233
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,995
You want me to give you a hand with that?
234
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,914
Think you can manage--? Ow!
235
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:06,375
Tell you what, you can just get that stuff in.
236
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,336
-And I'll.... Come on, Mom.
237
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,756
Carry that, and I'll get the luggage. Russ, we could use your help.
238
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,718
-l've got these bags. -l just hope you can, sir.
239
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,845
Sure you don't want me to help?
240
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,348
This one's stuck. There, l got it.
241
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,350
-Okay, Russ? Yeah, Dad. l got it.
242
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,727
Ellen, do you have any money? I've got it.
243
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,771
Okay, would you pay? No problem.
244
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,566
Camembert cheese is also produced on a large scale.
245
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:34,362
And molded by the thousands in giant factories.
246
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,117
But historic places like the Abby of--
247
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,120
Hello?
248
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,374
Farmhouse Camembert.
249
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,336
Top of the evening. I'm Clark W. Griswald.
250
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,630
We're from the United States of America...
251
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,633
...and l believe we have reservations for four.
252
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,932
No, you're scuppered, mate. It's all gone reels of cotton.
253
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,433
Place is full of macaroons.
254
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,311
I could get on the dog and bone to my mate Jimmy the Spiv...
255
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,606
-...down Whitechapel way. -Dad, he's speaking English.
256
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,109
Yeah, l know.
257
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,945
We got this from the Pig in a Poke show.
258
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,323
They said there'd be rooms for four and a rental car for us.
259
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,409
We're the grand-prize winners.
260
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,704
-Oink! Oink! Oink! We'll be pigs. -We're pigs.
261
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,290
Oh, the Yanks. Yeah.
262
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,292
Yeah, follow me.
263
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,671
You got anybody to help with the luggage?
264
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,841
Oh, sure. Mom.
265
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,302
No, no, no. Please, really, no.
266
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,804
Kids, come on. Help me out, will you? Please sit.
267
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:44,682
I mean, this is ridiculous.
268
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,686
"Sixty-five rooms tastefully decorated, all with private bathroom...
269
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:52,648
...and shower, color television, radio and telephone. Deluxe accommodations...
270
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,776
...at the sumptuous Royal lmperial Windsor Αrms...
271
00:19:55,944 --> 00:20:00,031
...combines old-world charm and modern convenience."
272
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,033
Clark. Does this look like...
273
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,577
-...the room in the brochure? -Well, no. They....
274
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,954
They shot this picture from another angle.
275
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,207
Or repainted. It's very quaint. l like it.
276
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:12,877
Well, l'm sure it'll look much better after I've had a hot bath.
277
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:18,299
Well, the bed's nice and soft.
278
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:23,763
Clark, there's no bathroom.
279
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,349
Of course there's a bathroom.
280
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,602
Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they?
281
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,901
Maybe they don't.
282
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,238
Cheeses come in a great vari--
283
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:43,908
I think we better call the front desk. Something's wrong with this thing.
284
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,410
We've only got four channels and no MTV.
285
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:50,498
-l think that's all there are, Russ. -No.
286
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,209
Cheeses-- Cheeses--
287
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,379
No. No.
288
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,424
Just think of it, shopping on Bond Street...
289
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,928
...bobbies, fish and chips, Big Ben.
290
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,055
Shopping on Carnaby Street.
291
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,516
It's gonna be so romantic.
292
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,252
You know, I have to warn you.
293
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,338
I'm feeling very naughty tonight.
294
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,554
Sorry. Congratulations.
295
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:51,767
One, two, three. One, two, three.
296
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,484
-What can l do for you? -l wanna leave a wake-up call...
297
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,987
...for 7 a.m., if you please. Good night.
298
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:14,123
You're in bed already. I left a wake-up call, honey.
299
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,375
Get an early start in the morning.
300
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:27,970
Love you, love you.
301
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,806
I've been waiting for this.
302
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:33,309
I can't believe we're alone at last.
303
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,770
Just you and me.
304
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,275
I'm so horny.
305
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:47,114
And these bubbles.
306
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:49,116
They make me feel so....
307
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,119
You know, I feel like....
308
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,121
You know.
309
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:57,208
Ellen?
310
00:22:58,293 --> 00:23:01,128
When did you stop shaving your legs, honey?
311
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:06,884
Why don't you just jump in here with me?
312
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,649
I think I made a mistake. Sorry.
313
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,776
-ls my wife in here? -No.
314
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:26,946
I got so confused with all the numerous doors in the hotel.
315
00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:28,781
I guess this happens all the time.
316
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,658
-No. -No?
317
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,744
Could you unlock your legs from my leg, please?
318
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,664
-No. -My right leg is asleep.
319
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,917
If l could just-- Oh, no. Thank you, really. Please don't.
320
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,003
lt's hot in here, is it? -l gotta get-- It's hot, yeah.
321
00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:45,798
Yeah, really hot. If l could just undo that--
322
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:49,176
I've got a mild case of herpes, easier if I got out.
323
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,011
Αwful for you. -Let me just check--
324
00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:53,556
-l'll get a wake-up call first. -Just check it?
325
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:55,683
Clark, you won't believe what happened.
326
00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:59,103
-l was in the bathroom, in the tub. -l've been looking for our room.
327
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,272
-This guy came in-- -l go into this lady's room--
328
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:05,860
-l don't even know where our room is. -lt's right here.
329
00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:08,654
For God's sake, they don't even put numbers on the door.
330
00:24:10,198 --> 00:24:12,825
Here it is, kids. Our English transportation.
331
00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:14,493
Now we're gonna have some fun.
332
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,250
-Where's the wheel? Other side, Dad.
333
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:51,280
Clark, you're driving on the wrong side of the road.
334
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:54,241
I realize that, honey. I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
335
00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:10,257
Boy, l'm sorry.
336
00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:12,301
No trouble. Dear chap, don't mention it.
337
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:16,430
I've had this bump for ages. Now, I've got an excuse to get it fixed.
338
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:19,141
-Listen, l'm fully covered-- -No, no, no.
339
00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:21,644
I should be the one who's thanking you.
340
00:25:21,811 --> 00:25:23,562
Well, of course. Thank you.
341
00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:25,773
-Here we go. -No.
342
00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:27,274
-Yours. -Good.
343
00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:29,777
-Very sorry, again. -No. No, problem.
344
00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:34,573
God, he was nice.
345
00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:39,828
It's not bad in England, huh?
346
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:41,914
God, I must say...
347
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:44,083
...the English are certainly....
348
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:56,220
We seem to have run into a bit of trouble, what.
349
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:58,847
-Oh, rotten luck. -l'm really sorry. l'm trying...
350
00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,516
...to get us back to our hotel.
351
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:03,394
An Αmerican. Delighted to meet you.
352
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,896
-Thank you. -l hope you're enjoying our country.
353
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,315
Well, we are. lf I get the driving straight--
354
00:26:08,483 --> 00:26:11,318
Don't worry about a thing like this. No trouble at all.
355
00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:14,780
I mean, after all, I was driving on the right side of the road.
356
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:16,782
Which is the left side of the road.
357
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:19,493
That's the whole problem.
358
00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:21,704
-Listen, let me get this for you. -Oh, no.
359
00:26:21,871 --> 00:26:24,290
The least l can do is get it back on your car for you.
360
00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:27,668
You keep that. Take it back to New York as a memento, what.
361
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,628
Thank you. That's very kind of you.
362
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:32,381
Honey, here's another one. Thank you.
363
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:34,425
Well, have a good day.
364
00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:42,641
-So long. Thanks again. Bye-bye.
365
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:46,979
I think I got the hang of it now.
366
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:50,024
All you have to do is just stay on the right side--
367
00:26:51,484 --> 00:26:52,818
Oh, please.
368
00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:55,279
-Oh, please let me help you. -ls he all right?
369
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,865
Oh, no. No problem. No problem, squire.
370
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:01,285
No harm done. This doesn't-- Doesn't hurt much at all.
371
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:02,870
Let me pay for the damage.
372
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,205
Good heavens, no. No need for money.
373
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:06,707
-No, no. -Are you sure?
374
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:09,793
Oh, yes. Be perfectly all right.
375
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:12,254
Can l get you some help? I can get to a phone.
376
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:14,381
Help? No, no, no. -Maybe he knows...
377
00:27:14,549 --> 00:27:15,883
...how to get to the hotel.
378
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:18,802
I hate to bother you, but we're from the United States.
379
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:20,971
We're at the Royal lmperial Windsor Αrms.
380
00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:24,224
Royal lmperial Windsor. Very nice hotel.
381
00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:26,477
Well, we like it. It's a little small.
382
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:29,188
Well, you go back the way you came...
383
00:27:29,397 --> 00:27:32,608
-...and you just keep going to-- -Oh, my God.
384
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:35,402
You got a bad cut. We better get you to the hospital.
385
00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:37,529
-lt's just a flesh wound. -Are you sure?
386
00:27:37,697 --> 00:27:39,990
Nothing to write home about. No need to bother.
387
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,993
-Did you say left or right up there? -Just a left, yeah. Ow!
388
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:45,871
-Maybe it's broken. -Oh, no, no, no.
389
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,207
It's just a leg. l've got another one.
390
00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:51,460
Yeah, no, l'll-- I'll just pop into the chemist's.
391
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:53,545
Be right as rain in the morning.
392
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:56,465
-The final isn't till Sunday. -Oh, good. Well, then.
393
00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:59,176
Oh, sorry to bother you--
394
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,428
Haven't seen a bike around here, have you?
395
00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:03,972
It's right under the car. Let me get it for you.
396
00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:07,142
The tire isn't flat so we're in good shape.
397
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:10,104
Thanks for the directions, and l'm sorry what happened.
398
00:28:10,271 --> 00:28:12,106
-You'll be all right? -Thank you. Sure.
399
00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:14,108
-Okay. Drive carefully. -Thank you.
400
00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:16,568
-Have a nice day. -Yeah, Bye.
401
00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:22,199
l guess what we do is just drive around this circle here.
402
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:25,285
It should be the second left exit. There's the hotel over--
403
00:28:25,453 --> 00:28:28,706
Hey, look, kids. There's Big Ben. And there's Parliament.
404
00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:34,753
-There it is, there it is. -l know.
405
00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:38,090
I can't seem to get over to the left, honey. I'll try next time.
406
00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:41,093
Sorry. We'll get out of this jam in a minute.
407
00:28:41,302 --> 00:28:44,471
Kids, Big Ben, Parliament again.
408
00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:52,396
Kids.
409
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:54,481
-We know. Big Ben. -We know. Big Ben.
410
00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:55,816
Parliament.
411
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:02,990
Clark. -That son of a bitch.
412
00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:05,117
Look, kids. Forget it.
413
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,583
This is absurd....
414
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:16,295
It's amazing. l cannot get left.
415
00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:20,299
There's Big Ben, kids, Parliament.
416
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,511
I don't know....
417
00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:33,103
When it's time to relax
418
00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:36,273
One thing stands clear
419
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:39,193
Beer after beer
420
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,612
If you got the time
421
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,907
We got the beer
422
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:47,242
Reach out
423
00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:49,745
Reach out and touch someone
424
00:29:50,538 --> 00:29:51,789
Reach out
425
00:29:52,248 --> 00:29:54,124
Call up and just say hi
426
00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:57,044
What's the matter, Audrey?
427
00:29:57,212 --> 00:30:01,173
Rusty, l can't stand it. I'll never make it through two weeks.
428
00:30:01,341 --> 00:30:03,258
-Two weeks is nothing. -Oh, yeah?
429
00:30:03,426 --> 00:30:07,262
Well, it's 14 times as long as yesterday, and yesterday lasted...
430
00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:09,640
...an eternity.
431
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,433
Why don't you call him.
432
00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:13,936
-Are you crazy? -Why? What could happen?
433
00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:17,147
Dad could rip my tongue out, that's what.
434
00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:20,567
I bet he wouldn't even notice it if you kept it short.
435
00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:24,571
Okay, look. l'll just say hello and goodbye. Short, short.
436
00:30:25,698 --> 00:30:28,492
I wonder if anything's good on TV.
437
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:33,330
Should I watch cheese or snow?
438
00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:36,375
Hello? -Hello, Jack?
439
00:30:36,584 --> 00:30:39,711
-Hey, Aud. -Oh, God, Jack, l miss you so much.
440
00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:41,630
-Do you miss me? -Oh, yeah.
441
00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:43,340
-Really? -Yeah.
442
00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:45,592
Well, l miss you so much it hurts.
443
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,094
-You do? -Yeah.
444
00:30:47,262 --> 00:30:48,971
-Look, I gotta go. -What?
445
00:30:49,138 --> 00:30:51,723
-l gotta eat. -Oh, your mom's calling you to dinner?
446
00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:53,433
Okay, l'll hold.
447
00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:57,104
Dad, can we stop? l'm hungry.
448
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:59,189
Yeah, Dad. Rusty's hungry.
449
00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,358
Not now, kids. We got a schedule to keep.
450
00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:15,789
That's it. That's it. That's the way I want my hair cut, Dad.
451
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,458
Russ, you don't wanna look like a rooster, do you?
452
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,586
Hey, there's Buckingham Palace, kids.
453
00:31:20,753 --> 00:31:22,671
That's where the queen lives and works.
454
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,631
Works? Well, what does she do, Dad?
455
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:26,925
She cleans and vacuums.
456
00:31:32,807 --> 00:31:35,475
-We'd like to check out, please. -Oh, yeah.
457
00:31:35,643 --> 00:31:37,144
Now, Mr....
458
00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:40,981
Mr. Greaseball. I'll just tally up your bill for you.
459
00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:43,859
Clark, do you think we'll have time to see Stonehenge?
460
00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:46,987
There's no problem. I've calculated distance and driving time.
461
00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:49,573
If we don't stop for lunch, we'll make it to Paris.
462
00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,242
I'm so sick of English food. I feel like a blimp.
463
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:54,161
You look fine.
464
00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:58,081
Don't l just have to sign? The Pig in a Poke people take care of it.
465
00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:01,251
-Doesn't include the phone bill. Well, that's no problem...
466
00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:03,712
...we just made a couple local calls.
467
00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:07,341
Right, that'll be...
468
00:32:08,259 --> 00:32:10,260
...253 Αmerican dollars.
469
00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:14,181
-This must be some mistake. How could that be?
470
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,061
Who the hell called Chicago?
471
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:23,190
Audrey!
472
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:28,987
Oh, now, Audrey.
473
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:32,240
-Your father didn't mean what he said. -Yes, he did.
474
00:32:32,408 --> 00:32:35,786
No, no. Not really, honey. He has nothing against Jack.
475
00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:38,872
He's not really gonna cut off his balls.
476
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,624
Are you, Clark?
477
00:32:43,002 --> 00:32:45,212
-Clark. -Okay, I won't.
478
00:32:46,005 --> 00:32:48,799
Look, why don't we just relax and enjoy the countryside?
479
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:52,219
Yeah, this country's eons old, kids.
480
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:54,221
That's centuries to you and me.
481
00:32:54,430 --> 00:32:56,264
Charming, isn't it?
482
00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:58,266
It looks like Massachusetts.
483
00:32:58,434 --> 00:33:00,102
Well, that almost stands to reason.
484
00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:03,647
The English settled Massachusetts. The old Pilgrims.
485
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:07,275
Plymouth Rock. That's where it all started.
486
00:33:07,443 --> 00:33:10,278
And speaking of rocks:
487
00:33:11,906 --> 00:33:14,658
See that? That's Stonehenge. Fantastic, huh?
488
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,668
What the hell is this?
489
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:27,254
Nobody knows for sure. Some think it's a calendar.
490
00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:29,339
Others think it's an astronomers' tool.
491
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:32,342
Some people think this was built by men from outer space.
492
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:35,762
Oh, Clark. The consensus is that it's an ancient timepiece...
493
00:33:35,930 --> 00:33:39,349
-...built by the ancient Druids. -Whatever, it's been here a long time.
494
00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:42,394
Since 2000 years before Christ. -Yeah.
495
00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:45,856
It's bound to be here 1 000 more.
496
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:47,983
-Russ. -Yeah.
497
00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:51,153
Oh, there you are. Stand over there for a sec, will you.
498
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,572
Act like you're setting your watch.
499
00:33:53,781 --> 00:33:57,451
This must be where they sacrificed virgins.
500
00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:00,495
God, I miss Jack.
501
00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:04,082
We've gotta go if we wanna catch that plane.
502
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:06,334
You're right, honey.
503
00:34:06,961 --> 00:34:08,295
Let's go, Russ.
504
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:11,465
Come on.
505
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:18,847
Take a last look, kids...
506
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:23,602
...at one of man's most curious creations.
507
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:27,314
Built to stand the test of time and the elements...
508
00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:30,400
...war, you name it.
509
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:35,739
A thing of glory for a million future generations to see.
510
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:38,366
And we were here.
511
00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:07,979
Gay Paris.
512
00:35:08,147 --> 00:35:10,190
The City of Lights.
513
00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:12,984
This is the famous Left Bank, kids.
514
00:35:13,152 --> 00:35:15,612
I bet you can't guess what's on the other side.
515
00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,906
The Bank of America.
516
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:26,373
Okay, everybody get closer to the fountain.
517
00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,708
Dad, we can't get any closer.
518
00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:31,169
-We're gonna get all wet. -lt'll be a good shot.
519
00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:34,631
-You'll remember it forever. -The Griswalds in front of a fountain.
520
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:36,133
Major entertainment.
521
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:38,593
Russ, get in the middle.
522
00:35:38,761 --> 00:35:41,221
Clark, why don't you let me take it?
523
00:35:41,389 --> 00:35:43,390
You haven't been in any of them.
524
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,017
Okay, l got a good idea.
525
00:35:48,771 --> 00:35:52,065
Clark Griswald, United States of America.
526
00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:55,026
My family and l-- Could you take a picture of us?
527
00:35:57,071 --> 00:35:58,947
Could you photograph us?
528
00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:00,907
Photo, yes. Four of us.
529
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:02,534
Yeah?
530
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,919
Okay, Russ, get over here.
531
00:36:13,087 --> 00:36:16,006
There you go. Now, you two.
532
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:19,009
-Sorry. Sorry.
533
00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:22,637
Okay.
534
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:27,350
Cheese.
535
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,436
-Cheese. -Cheese.
536
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,946
Yeah, let's take our shoes off and get in the water.
537
00:36:40,114 --> 00:36:43,450
-Oh, hey. -Yeah, okay. lt's fun.
538
00:36:58,841 --> 00:37:00,634
Cold.
539
00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:10,101
Hey.
540
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:13,563
-Hey! -Clark.
541
00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:16,233
Clark, listen, there isn't anything on that tape...
542
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,777
-...that shouldn't be there? -They took my camera.
543
00:37:18,986 --> 00:37:21,446
Clark. There isn't anything on that tape...
544
00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:23,281
...that shouldn't be there? Remember the:
545
00:37:24,784 --> 00:37:27,202
That's gone, right? You erased it?
546
00:37:27,370 --> 00:37:29,246
Yeah. l erased that, honey.
547
00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:33,291
We'll check in and come back for the cases.
548
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:45,762
Here we are, kids. Chez Griswald.
549
00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:49,599
We have a reservation for the honeymoon suite.
550
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:52,227
Mr. and Mrs. Garland.
551
00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:58,900
Oh, Clark, look. They must be honeymooners.
552
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:01,111
Either that or Siamese twins.
553
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,113
That's how Jack kisses.
554
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:05,323
Jack, Jack, Jack.
555
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,033
Hi. Hi.
556
00:38:07,201 --> 00:38:09,160
Hey, are you from America? -Yeah.
557
00:38:09,328 --> 00:38:12,330
-We're from Chicago. -Chicago, wow. We're from Αkron.
558
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,541
Well, we're the Griswalds. l'm Clark...
559
00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:17,252
...and this is my wife, Ellen.
560
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:20,547
Of course, my daughter is Audrey, and Rusty.
561
00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:26,136
You're in room 714. And please hurry.
562
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,763
-See you. -Yeah.
563
00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:31,474
I guess it's true. Paris really is for lovers.
564
00:38:32,476 --> 00:38:33,935
May I help you?
565
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:35,562
We're the Clark W. Griswalds.
566
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,148
We have a reservation for two chambres.
567
00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:40,608
We're the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners. Oink, oink.
568
00:38:40,776 --> 00:38:43,570
-Oink, oink. -Can l see your passports?
569
00:38:43,779 --> 00:38:45,905
Yeah, oh, of course.
570
00:38:46,282 --> 00:38:48,658
I guess I sign this, then.
571
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:50,827
I just sign Griswald, right? First....
572
00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:53,079
No, wait. l gotta put Clark.
573
00:38:53,247 --> 00:38:54,873
I put-- l put Clark.
574
00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:58,084
We don't really speak French.
575
00:39:04,967 --> 00:39:06,843
This is our first....
576
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,354
Honey, what do you think? Tell the truth.
577
00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:21,608
I guess I'll go get the kids.
578
00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:24,986
Oh, good idea. We'll get a move on.
579
00:39:37,291 --> 00:39:40,502
-Where's Dad? l'm right here.
580
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,963
Just looking for the Bible. There it is.
581
00:39:44,131 --> 00:39:46,633
Everybody ready? We got a schedule to keep.
582
00:39:46,842 --> 00:39:49,219
Well, l vote we don't see any more museums today.
583
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:51,554
And l vote we don't get anything else to eat.
584
00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:54,724
What's this? Do l detect a note of dissension here?
585
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:57,143
Yeah, Dad. Paris sucks.
586
00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:58,770
Everybody's so rude.
587
00:39:58,979 --> 00:40:01,314
Come on, kids. We're the visitors here.
588
00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:03,775
This isn't Wally World, it's a country.
589
00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:06,653
Come on, we're the ambassadors of Αmerica here.
590
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:10,281
If we wanna be accepted, we gotta try to fit in, speak the language...
591
00:40:10,449 --> 00:40:14,369
...wear French clothes. That's why I got us all berets.
592
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,496
Here we are, Ellen.
593
00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:18,373
Russ.
594
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:23,169
Oh, come on, Dad.
595
00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:25,296
This is really rank.
596
00:40:26,298 --> 00:40:29,175
Come on now, Russ. Loosen up.
597
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,220
You don't wanna look like a tourist, do you?
598
00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:35,932
All the French wear these. It's the national hat, fella.
599
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:38,977
Well, l'm not gonna wear it.
600
00:40:39,186 --> 00:40:42,689
It looks stupid. No girl will wanna talk to me.
601
00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,442
Well, then l guess they'll all talk to me.
602
00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:47,610
I vote for berets.
603
00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:50,738
-l second the motion. -Berets.
604
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:53,575
That's 3 to 1 . You lose, fella.
605
00:40:53,909 --> 00:40:55,201
Sweet.
606
00:40:55,369 --> 00:40:57,787
Real sweet. Oh, there you are.
607
00:41:02,751 --> 00:41:06,087
Now, listen, kids. France is world famous for its cuisine...
608
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:09,591
...so anything's gonna be great. You order what you want.
609
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:11,759
"Garconi."
610
00:41:24,565 --> 00:41:26,232
Okay.
611
00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:32,071
Desire.... They....
612
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,532
Hamburger and frite.
613
00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:42,665
Coca-cola for the les infants.
614
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:47,086
And, oh....
615
00:41:58,849 --> 00:42:01,351
-Now, you want the soufflè? -Soufflè, soufflè.
616
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,520
My femme would like the--
617
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,317
I'll have the voil, or the veal, voil.
618
00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,821
Excellent.
619
00:42:14,448 --> 00:42:15,823
Good choice.
620
00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:17,659
"Excellente."
621
00:42:22,331 --> 00:42:23,706
Just a little brie, yeah.
622
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:25,500
And....
623
00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:27,210
Well, we'll get that later.
624
00:42:32,007 --> 00:42:33,883
And that's about it.
625
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:37,804
Where would you find a waiter like that in the U.S.?
626
00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:40,431
Honey, speak the language...
627
00:42:40,599 --> 00:42:43,393
...they're gonna be very nice. Just try.
628
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:07,458
Well, there she is, kids. The Eiffel Tower.
629
00:43:07,668 --> 00:43:10,670
Nine hundred and twenty-one feet of historic landmark.
630
00:43:10,838 --> 00:43:12,714
That's more than an acre to you and me.
631
00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:14,549
Did you know that at one time...
632
00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:16,968
...this was the world's largest free-standing structure?
633
00:43:29,231 --> 00:43:31,733
-Let's go up to the top. Yeah, come on, let's go.
634
00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:40,158
Oh, God. lt's magnificent.
635
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:45,204
It's breathtaking, isn't it?
636
00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:49,000
Sparky...
637
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:52,879
...l'm glad we decided to be pigs.
638
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:58,259
-Thank your father, kids. Thanks, Dad.
639
00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,178
Okay.
640
00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:03,097
It's so beautiful, I feel so....
641
00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:07,310
I feel my juices are just-- You know, it makes me so....
642
00:44:07,728 --> 00:44:10,480
I wanna write, I wanna paint, l wanna...
643
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:13,274
...sculpt something massive. l wanna....
644
00:44:13,442 --> 00:44:15,777
I got a creative urge to....
645
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:19,906
I wonder if there's a men's room around here, honey.
646
00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:25,495
Look at those things, Mom.
647
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,580
Oh, let's go get our picture taken.
648
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:29,624
Oh, no. They're silly.
649
00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:33,002
-Come on. I'll buy one for Jack. -Okay.
650
00:45:13,752 --> 00:45:15,795
"Rusty."
651
00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:29,642
Russ, what's wrong?
652
00:45:30,811 --> 00:45:34,856
I feel like an idiot because of this stupid hat you made me wear.
653
00:45:35,023 --> 00:45:36,733
Russ.
654
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,485
Come here a minute. l wanna talk to you.
655
00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:43,197
A couple of things here. First of all, you're never an idiot, okay?
656
00:45:43,365 --> 00:45:45,658
You're a Griswald. You understand that?
657
00:45:46,243 --> 00:45:49,495
-Yeah. -All right. Second of all, Russ...
658
00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:51,998
...you know l'd never do anything to injure you.
659
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:55,543
You know I'd never do anything to hurt my opinion of myself, right?
660
00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:57,920
-Yeah. -So? If the beret bothers you...
661
00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,590
...it bothers me. If it upsets you, it upsets me.
662
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,425
Okay?
663
00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:17,273
How did you and Audrey enjoy shopping today, honey?
664
00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:19,817
Wait till you see what I got.
665
00:46:21,528 --> 00:46:24,447
I got this because the saleslady said it's a one-of-a-kind.
666
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:28,743
And l'll never find anything else like it and l know it's really silly but....
667
00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:31,204
But l only got it for you.
668
00:46:32,289 --> 00:46:34,499
Oh, honey, l don't think...
669
00:46:34,666 --> 00:46:37,794
...l'd want the kids to see me in something like this.
670
00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:40,296
Sparky?
671
00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:43,299
It's our first night in Paris. Let's do something romantic.
672
00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:45,635
We are, honey. I'm taking you out to dinner.
673
00:46:45,844 --> 00:46:47,178
Out?
674
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,014
I felt like staying in.
675
00:46:50,182 --> 00:46:53,726
I thought it would be really nice to be alone.
676
00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:55,895
Honey.
677
00:46:57,940 --> 00:47:00,316
I could never go anywhere without you.
678
00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:02,360
Come on. Cheer up.
679
00:47:02,569 --> 00:47:04,487
I promised you a night on the town.
680
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:07,156
We'll go see some French culture. You'll love it.
681
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,189
Bravo.
682
00:47:40,649 --> 00:47:42,149
Encore.
683
00:47:42,317 --> 00:47:44,110
Clark.
684
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:47,029
Stand with your feet hip-distance apart...
685
00:47:47,197 --> 00:47:49,824
...stomach pulled in, buttocks tight.
686
00:47:50,158 --> 00:47:52,118
We're gonna start with head rolls.
687
00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:56,372
To the right and back and left, forward...
688
00:47:56,623 --> 00:47:59,917
...head right, back, left, forward.
689
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:02,169
Now, reverse and left...
690
00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,714
...back, right, forward.
691
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:08,050
Now shoulder lifts, right, lift and left.
692
00:48:08,218 --> 00:48:10,386
Isn't this great, honey?
693
00:48:11,513 --> 00:48:13,598
They've been doing this for eons in France.
694
00:48:13,765 --> 00:48:15,516
This is real culture.
695
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:19,478
Exhale and raise them over your head. Now reach with the right arm--
696
00:48:19,813 --> 00:48:22,899
Clark, could l have the coat check, please?
697
00:48:23,066 --> 00:48:26,485
I think I've had enough French culture for one evening.
698
00:48:26,653 --> 00:48:28,571
Yeah, sure, honey.
699
00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:34,201
-Look. -l am looking.
700
00:48:34,369 --> 00:48:36,913
Look, back there.
701
00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:41,542
But it's just a hooker. They're all over the place.
702
00:48:41,710 --> 00:48:43,836
Look who she's with.
703
00:48:50,802 --> 00:48:52,595
Russ?
704
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,474
No problem.
705
00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:01,187
Russell Griswald.
706
00:49:01,563 --> 00:49:03,522
My good man.
707
00:49:04,274 --> 00:49:06,359
-How'd you get in there? -l paid and got in.
708
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:08,611
-Where'd you get the money? -l'm surprised at you.
709
00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:10,905
-l'm surprised at you, Dad. -Don't talk back.
710
00:49:11,073 --> 00:49:12,448
And who was that cheap slut?
711
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:15,284
Don't call Cherie a slut. I'm disappointed in you.
712
00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:17,662
Who says, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"?
713
00:49:17,829 --> 00:49:20,790
l said Rome, not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.
714
00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:30,216
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
715
00:49:55,617 --> 00:49:58,202
I don't care! Let me have it for a while.
716
00:49:58,370 --> 00:50:00,371
No. Today's my turn. -Give them to me.
717
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,123
-Give them to me. -l told you no.
718
00:50:02,290 --> 00:50:05,668
-Give them to me. -No, forget it. You always take them.
719
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:08,462
Oh, God. Look what you did to them.
720
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,423
I said, give them to me. They're mine.
721
00:50:10,590 --> 00:50:12,967
How many times do l have to tell you they're mine?
722
00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:14,927
Okay. -Come on, let's go.
723
00:50:20,392 --> 00:50:22,977
Clark, Clark.
724
00:50:23,145 --> 00:50:27,148
Clark. Will you please slow down? The kids are exhausted.
725
00:50:27,315 --> 00:50:30,526
It closes in 1 5 minutes. There are 1 00,000 works of art to see.
726
00:50:30,694 --> 00:50:32,319
Come on.
727
00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:37,825
Great. Are you happy, Dad? She's dead.
728
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:39,910
Come on.
729
00:51:04,853 --> 00:51:07,021
Well, l must say, I'm really proud of you guys.
730
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:09,148
We've seen about everything in Paris...
731
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:11,317
...and we're right back on schedule.
732
00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:14,361
Can't we slow down a little bit, Clark? l'm exhausted.
733
00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:18,199
Well, we'll have a nice, relaxing time with my relatives in Germany.
734
00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:26,749
-Hi. You two enjoying Paris?
735
00:51:26,917 --> 00:51:28,501
-Great. -Oh, yeah.
736
00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:31,045
Seen the Louvre yet?
737
00:51:31,213 --> 00:51:33,339
-No. -Not yet.
738
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:35,883
-The Left Bank is charming. -Oh, yeah?
739
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:37,760
We plan to go there.
740
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:39,428
Been up to the Eiffel Tower?
741
00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:42,264
Nope. But it's on our list.
742
00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:45,726
-Well, have a good time. We will.
743
00:51:45,894 --> 00:51:47,228
What a waste.
744
00:51:47,395 --> 00:51:49,855
We've seen 1 0 times as much as they have.
745
00:51:53,693 --> 00:51:55,861
Sweetie, you hungry? You want some breakfast?
746
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:58,280
I'm not hungry.
747
00:51:59,449 --> 00:52:02,034
He's got his hands on her tits right at the table.
748
00:52:02,244 --> 00:52:04,411
Stop staring, Rusty.
749
00:52:04,579 --> 00:52:09,041
European standards of public behavior are very different than an American's.
750
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:10,918
Yeah, Dad. But they're from Αkron.
751
00:52:13,672 --> 00:52:16,382
DearAudrey, I've missed the shit out of you.
752
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:18,801
Luckily, Debbie's been coming by to cheer me up.
753
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:22,555
-That bitch. -Something the matter, Audrey?
754
00:52:22,722 --> 00:52:24,473
No.
755
00:52:24,766 --> 00:52:27,434
l think it's time we asked ourselves this question:
756
00:52:27,602 --> 00:52:31,188
"ls this relationship strong enough to consider seeing other people?"
757
00:52:31,398 --> 00:52:33,399
I think it is.
758
00:52:33,900 --> 00:52:35,943
Could you pass the croissants, please?
759
00:52:36,111 --> 00:52:38,404
And the butter and the jelly.
760
00:52:38,655 --> 00:52:40,614
It's nice to see your appetite back.
761
00:52:40,782 --> 00:52:43,284
Yeah, well, who have I got to be thin for, huh?
762
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:52,835
Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
763
00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:55,462
He's not gonna pork her, Rusty. Just eat, okay?
764
00:52:55,755 --> 00:52:57,923
I think he is, Dad.
765
00:52:58,091 --> 00:53:00,134
He may pork her, Russ. Just eat, okay?
766
00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,638
Well, there it is, kids.
767
00:53:46,097 --> 00:53:47,848
My motherland.
768
00:53:49,184 --> 00:53:51,852
Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
769
00:53:52,020 --> 00:53:53,812
Shut up, Russ.
770
00:54:03,573 --> 00:54:07,534
I can't wait to meet our relatives in person.
771
00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:10,579
Okay. Dipplestrabe.
772
00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:12,790
Here we are now. What are we looking for?
773
00:54:12,999 --> 00:54:15,209
-Sechs, Daddy. -That'll do, Audrey.
774
00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:18,254
Dad, that's German for six.
775
00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:21,048
That's not true. Is that true, honey?
776
00:54:39,609 --> 00:54:41,694
My family and l are looking for sechs.
777
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,615
Hey, Dad, there's number six.
778
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,584
Fritz.
779
00:54:57,752 --> 00:55:00,421
Fritz, Clark Griswald. How are you? Good to see you.
780
00:55:00,588 --> 00:55:03,632
Remember Ellen from her letters? There she is, the real thing.
781
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,135
-And Rusty and Αudrey-- Audrey, Audrey. Hi.
782
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:08,387
They've gotten bigger since the pictures.
783
00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:10,139
Sorry, we're late.
784
00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:13,892
Thanks so much for the invitation. Helga. Helga.
785
00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:24,945
Honey, this must be the German dining room, huh?
786
00:55:25,113 --> 00:55:27,197
-lsn't it nice? -Oh, Clark.
787
00:55:27,365 --> 00:55:30,159
It's just as l imagined.
788
00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:35,581
-lt's so quaint. -Yeah. Maximum quaintness.
789
00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:39,001
You must be Helga. We made it.
790
00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:41,420
You know Ellen, my wife, and Rusty and Αudrey?
791
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:43,589
-Hi. -Helga.
792
00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:45,257
We're here.
793
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:48,260
Let me give you a hand in the kitchen. Come on, kids.
794
00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:51,513
Kids, go help in the kitchen. Help Helga out.
795
00:55:51,890 --> 00:55:53,682
So, Fritz.
796
00:55:53,850 --> 00:55:57,311
How you been? Long time never seen.
797
00:55:59,856 --> 00:56:01,857
Oh, God, look at this.
798
00:56:15,663 --> 00:56:17,915
And here's your cousin Al.
799
00:56:18,124 --> 00:56:22,044
He's a hotshot lawyer now. They'll probably get him on tax evasion.
800
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,837
Oh, yeah, and here's the baby.
801
00:56:24,005 --> 00:56:27,633
You don't believe that story about the baby being premature, do you?
802
00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:29,176
Clark.
803
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:31,637
I didn't think so.
804
00:56:32,138 --> 00:56:34,014
I mean, when me and Jack got together...
805
00:56:34,182 --> 00:56:36,475
...we had both been, like, seeing other people.
806
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:37,935
This is different...
807
00:56:38,144 --> 00:56:40,979
...because Debbie's my best friend and all. Don't you think?
808
00:56:41,147 --> 00:56:43,982
Oh, God. lt's so good to have somebody to talk to.
809
00:56:44,150 --> 00:56:46,693
My parents mean well, but I try and tell them stuff...
810
00:56:46,861 --> 00:56:49,279
...and they don't know what I'm talking about.
811
00:56:49,447 --> 00:56:51,323
What are you talking about, hon?
812
00:56:51,491 --> 00:56:53,158
You see?
813
00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:57,579
God, I miss Jack.
814
00:57:07,715 --> 00:57:09,967
You know, I was just thinking, honey.
815
00:57:10,176 --> 00:57:12,719
Blood really is thicker than water.
816
00:57:13,888 --> 00:57:17,224
It's amazing to me how family ties break through the language barrier.
817
00:57:17,392 --> 00:57:21,687
Oh, Sparky. This has been my favorite part of the trip.
818
00:57:26,484 --> 00:57:29,945
Hey, Dad, look. Bedpans.
819
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:34,783
You've really been so sweet. Now, here's our address.
820
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:38,704
And when you come to Chicago, you come and stay with us.
821
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:41,039
Okay, auf Wiedersehen.
822
00:57:41,207 --> 00:57:43,667
Helga, thank you for the marvelous conversation.
823
00:57:43,835 --> 00:57:46,211
-Bye. Bye-bye, auf Wiedersehen.
824
00:57:46,379 --> 00:57:47,963
We'll write.
825
00:57:53,261 --> 00:57:54,887
Bye.
826
00:57:55,054 --> 00:57:57,264
Bye. See you later.
827
00:58:07,108 --> 00:58:09,234
A festival.
828
00:58:09,402 --> 00:58:11,028
Looks like fun.
829
00:58:11,237 --> 00:58:12,905
Come on, kids.
830
00:59:04,290 --> 00:59:07,709
-What's your name? -Claudia. And yours?
831
00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:10,003
-l'm Rusty. -Hello.
832
00:59:15,009 --> 00:59:16,843
So do you ever get to leave here?
833
00:59:18,805 --> 00:59:21,265
Thank you. Oh, Sparky.
834
00:59:22,684 --> 00:59:24,810
What's so funny? This is great, isn't it?
835
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:26,895
-Come on. -Oh, Dad, I love these.
836
00:59:27,063 --> 00:59:29,606
Who wants bratwurst, mustard and relish?
837
00:59:54,382 --> 00:59:56,383
Holy shit.
838
00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:57,968
Hey, you. Come.
839
00:59:58,469 --> 00:59:59,886
Come on. Very good.
840
01:00:00,054 --> 01:00:03,557
We need one more. One more. Big, strong man. Yeah.
841
01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:06,393
-Come on, Dad. You'd be great. Hey, you. You come.
842
01:00:06,561 --> 01:00:08,353
-Do it, please? Don't be afraid.
843
01:00:08,521 --> 01:00:11,648
-All right. Okay, okay. Good, very good.
844
01:00:13,359 --> 01:00:15,068
Come.
845
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,655
Hey, take care.
846
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:21,450
l don't know. l don't know. -You come.
847
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:24,953
-l don't know if l can do that. -Just follow the others.
848
01:00:26,748 --> 01:00:28,415
All right, Daddy.
849
01:00:45,433 --> 01:00:47,059
Isn't he great?
850
01:02:32,665 --> 01:02:34,666
Are you okay?
851
01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:51,725
Let's go. Let's go.
852
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:56,354
-Those bells haven't rung in years. -What does they mean?
853
01:02:56,522 --> 01:02:59,357
They're going to hang somebody.
854
01:02:59,650 --> 01:03:01,610
Dad!
855
01:03:01,861 --> 01:03:02,903
What?
856
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:15,040
Hurry up.
857
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:32,557
-Go. Go. Don't stop. -Go, Daddy. Go.
858
01:03:32,725 --> 01:03:34,893
Go, Dad. Come on.
859
01:03:36,562 --> 01:03:37,896
Look out. Don't stop.
860
01:04:01,712 --> 01:04:03,088
Oh, shit.
861
01:04:06,884 --> 01:04:10,011
It's too narrow. -We'll make it. Plenty of room.
862
01:04:10,221 --> 01:04:12,722
I know this car, honey.
863
01:04:15,434 --> 01:04:18,103
Right. Everybody out. There goes the paint job.
864
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:22,858
-Hurry up. Give me the bags. Help.
865
01:04:23,609 --> 01:04:25,485
-Come on, honey. -l'm coming.
866
01:04:30,116 --> 01:04:32,492
Oh, God.
867
01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:45,422
Snap it up. Hurry up.
868
01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:01,479
Why the sour puss, Russ?
869
01:05:01,772 --> 01:05:05,567
You know, you totally ruined what could have been the best day of my life.
870
01:05:05,735 --> 01:05:07,277
What are you complaining about?
871
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,946
I lost my boyfriend, thanks to this vacation.
872
01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:11,990
I vote we don't talk about Jack anymore.
873
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:13,909
-l second it. -l vote for that.
874
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:17,078
Oh, yeah? Well, I vote we don't talk about schedules anymore.
875
01:05:17,246 --> 01:05:19,456
-Me too. -l'm for that.
876
01:05:19,665 --> 01:05:21,666
I vote we don't talk at all. How's that?
877
01:05:21,834 --> 01:05:24,669
Not until we get to Rome and everybody calms down a bit.
878
01:05:24,837 --> 01:05:28,423
Maybe then we'll be acting like mature human beings.
879
01:07:12,611 --> 01:07:13,695
Shh!
880
01:07:14,071 --> 01:07:15,989
Yeow!
881
01:07:32,339 --> 01:07:34,382
-Let's go. -Clark. Clark.
882
01:07:34,550 --> 01:07:36,801
I vote we talk. What are we doing?
883
01:07:36,969 --> 01:07:39,095
We're talking. We're getting off the train...
884
01:07:39,305 --> 01:07:41,973
...go to a traveler's check place, get our money back...
885
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:44,642
...we'll rent a new car and buy some new clothes...
886
01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:47,187
...and finish up the best vacation of our lives.
887
01:07:47,354 --> 01:07:50,231
Okay? Αnd it's gonna be fun. Now, let's go.
888
01:07:52,985 --> 01:07:56,321
I think Dad's lost all sense of reality.
889
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:07,999
Come on, come on. Let's get out of here.
890
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:10,543
Hey, what are we gonna do about him?
891
01:08:10,711 --> 01:08:14,255
-Kill him. -Don't be stupid. We never kill anyone.
892
01:08:14,423 --> 01:08:16,382
Then what do we do?
893
01:08:16,550 --> 01:08:18,259
Hey.
894
01:08:18,594 --> 01:08:20,678
I've got a better idea.
895
01:08:20,846 --> 01:08:22,931
Maybe we can hold him for ransom.
896
01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:25,141
He must be worth something to someone.
897
01:08:28,229 --> 01:08:31,481
Oh, Clark, I think this is something historical.
898
01:08:31,649 --> 01:08:34,400
Yeah, it looks real old, Dad.
899
01:08:35,486 --> 01:08:37,779
That's great. We'll see all this later. Come on.
900
01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:40,949
Only four more miles. Let's go, come on. Hustle.
901
01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:47,497
What we need now is a dupe. Someone above suspicion...
902
01:08:47,665 --> 01:08:50,875
...who will believe anything you tell him.
903
01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:52,961
A real idiot.
904
01:08:53,170 --> 01:08:55,380
Hello? Anybody here?
905
01:08:56,298 --> 01:08:59,801
But, Clark, we don't have any proof that we lost those traveler's checks.
906
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:02,512
We left all the stubs in the suitcase.
907
01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:07,475
-Can l help you? -Yeah. I'm Clark W. Griswald.
908
01:09:07,643 --> 01:09:09,936
We're the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners.
909
01:09:10,104 --> 01:09:13,314
We're in a bit of a bind. We've lost all our luggage...
910
01:09:13,482 --> 01:09:17,819
...a videotape camera, a rented car, and we've lost about $1 000 in cash.
911
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:19,696
I'm just here to get my money back.
912
01:09:20,030 --> 01:09:24,492
Oh, yes. I certainly hate to see our customers inconvenienced.
913
01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:29,330
Well....
914
01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:36,045
-Okay, name? -Clark W. Griswald.
915
01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,759
-And? -Ellen Griswald.
916
01:09:42,511 --> 01:09:44,929
Ellen Griswald.
917
01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:49,475
And these are our children, Rusty and Audrey.
918
01:09:49,643 --> 01:09:52,187
Russ. Aud. Come on over here. Show yourselves.
919
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:54,355
Oh, um....
920
01:09:55,274 --> 01:09:58,276
Yes. Here we are.
921
01:10:04,366 --> 01:10:08,453
No, excuse me. We lost only $1 000. This is $3000.
922
01:10:08,704 --> 01:10:10,747
That's to make up for your trouble.
923
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,543
Hey, I lost about $200.
924
01:10:18,589 --> 01:10:21,716
Stay quiet. We'll get you out later.
925
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:27,347
Unfortunately, we somehow misplaced the key to the trunk.
926
01:10:28,265 --> 01:10:30,475
But if you tell me where you're staying...
927
01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:32,727
...l'll get the new key to your hotel.
928
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:35,146
Oh, honey, which hotel are we staying in?
929
01:10:35,314 --> 01:10:38,233
-The Nazionale. -Oh, very nice.
930
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,027
This is great. l didn't even know you guys rented cars.
931
01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:47,742
I'll see you then. Madame.
932
01:10:47,993 --> 01:10:49,202
Ciao.
933
01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:51,788
Well, what do you say we see some Roman ruins?
934
01:10:51,997 --> 01:10:54,415
Oh, Clark. We've been in these clothes for ages.
935
01:10:54,583 --> 01:10:57,210
-Why don't we go shopping. -Yeah, I vote for shopping.
936
01:10:57,378 --> 01:10:59,629
Yeah, Dad. l feel totally scuzzed out.
937
01:10:59,797 --> 01:11:01,130
Okay, l'm a sport.
938
01:11:01,298 --> 01:11:03,549
We'd all look good in some Italian fashions.
939
01:11:03,717 --> 01:11:05,134
Got plenty of money.
940
01:12:11,076 --> 01:12:24,088
No.
941
01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:57,205
-Hey, you look cool. -l feel cool.
942
01:13:00,125 --> 01:13:02,960
-Mom. Hey, Mom, looking good.
943
01:13:03,128 --> 01:13:07,215
Okay, let's go. Αre we ready to conquer Rome? What do you say?
944
01:13:22,231 --> 01:13:25,316
Okay, l'll be right out and we'll hit the fountains.
945
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:35,284
I'm terribly sorry.
946
01:13:35,452 --> 01:13:36,911
Are you all right? I'm sorry.
947
01:13:37,079 --> 01:13:40,832
-No problem. No problem at all. -Hey, it's you. The guy from London.
948
01:13:41,041 --> 01:13:42,667
You're the American l ran into.
949
01:13:42,876 --> 01:13:44,502
Yeah.
950
01:13:44,711 --> 01:13:46,879
So, what are you doing in Rome?
951
01:13:47,047 --> 01:13:50,258
On sick leave. You know, a little holiday, recovering.
952
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:52,176
You still on holiday with the kids?
953
01:13:52,344 --> 01:13:55,179
Oh, yeah, we're here. We've just been out shopping and....
954
01:13:55,347 --> 01:13:57,432
Nice choice.
955
01:13:57,599 --> 01:14:00,685
Yeah, they're right-- Hey, kids. Look who it is. Say hi.
956
01:14:00,853 --> 01:14:03,187
Hi. Hi.
957
01:14:03,730 --> 01:14:06,149
Oh, my God, you've got a cast on your leg.
958
01:14:06,316 --> 01:14:08,609
Oh, this? Oh, think nothing of it.
959
01:14:08,777 --> 01:14:12,321
Hardly matters at all. It's just a big sock, really.
960
01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:16,200
Well, that's pretty nice of you. I feel pretty bad about that.
961
01:14:16,368 --> 01:14:19,203
-l can give you a hand in here. -No, no. No, thanks.
962
01:14:19,371 --> 01:14:22,874
-Aren't you going to your hotel here? -No. My hotel's over there.
963
01:14:23,041 --> 01:14:26,377
-Goodbye. Have a nice holiday. -Bye-bye now. Cheerio.
964
01:14:28,046 --> 01:14:30,089
Okay, this is the Piazza Navona.
965
01:14:30,257 --> 01:14:31,966
Jack?
966
01:14:34,219 --> 01:14:37,013
This is one of the most fabulous squares in Rome.
967
01:14:37,222 --> 01:14:40,308
-What's the matter, Audrey? -l wanna go home. l miss Jack.
968
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:43,311
We'll be going home soon. Just a few more fountains to see.
969
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:45,813
-And then the Colosseum. -l don't wanna see it.
970
01:14:45,981 --> 01:14:47,482
I wanna see Jack.
971
01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:50,776
-Jack will always be there. -The Colosseum will always be there.
972
01:14:50,944 --> 01:14:52,945
The Colosseum's been there for 2000 years.
973
01:14:53,113 --> 01:14:56,157
But if I don't go home soon, Jack will fall in love with Debbie.
974
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:57,742
And l'll just die.
975
01:14:57,910 --> 01:15:01,871
Oh, Audrey, don't you wanna see the Colosseum before you die?
976
01:15:02,039 --> 01:15:04,832
-l hate you. -Audrey.
977
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:07,793
Dad, I'll meet you guys later at the hotel.
978
01:15:07,961 --> 01:15:09,962
What about the fountains? Where you going?
979
01:15:10,130 --> 01:15:11,839
I don't know. l'm fountained out.
980
01:15:12,007 --> 01:15:14,926
-Clark, why don't you just let him go? -Now just a minute.
981
01:15:15,093 --> 01:15:16,427
We leave day after tomorrow.
982
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:18,846
We have a few moments together as a family.
983
01:15:19,014 --> 01:15:21,474
-Can we do that? -Oh, God, Dad.
984
01:15:21,642 --> 01:15:24,644
We've been together every second for the last two weeks.
985
01:15:24,811 --> 01:15:26,812
And by the way, I've been good.
986
01:15:26,980 --> 01:15:29,273
I haven't complained, or tried to escape.
987
01:15:29,441 --> 01:15:32,818
So why can't you just treat me like a man for once?
988
01:15:32,986 --> 01:15:34,445
Because you're not a man.
989
01:15:34,696 --> 01:15:38,658
I am too. l'm 1 5 years old, a world traveler.
990
01:15:38,825 --> 01:15:40,660
I've got a part-time job.
991
01:15:40,869 --> 01:15:42,411
I need my independence.
992
01:15:42,579 --> 01:15:44,497
Wait a minute. lf he's going, l'm going.
993
01:15:44,665 --> 01:15:48,042
Now, just a minute, Clark. Why don't we give the kids some free time?
994
01:15:48,210 --> 01:15:51,671
Okay, sure. Let them go. They're just a couple of ingrates, that's all.
995
01:15:51,838 --> 01:15:54,298
They're not ingrates. They're teenagers.
996
01:15:54,466 --> 01:15:56,801
-How about my allowance? Can I have my passport?
997
01:15:56,969 --> 01:15:58,844
Just a minute, Αudrey. Rusty, Clark.
998
01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:01,681
Let's all settle down and try to be reasonable.
999
01:16:01,848 --> 01:16:06,811
I'm sure if we think about it, we can all make some kind of compromise.
1000
01:16:11,817 --> 01:16:14,318
Oh, my God.
1001
01:16:19,074 --> 01:16:21,659
-Oh, boy. Take it easy, honey. -l don't believe this.
1002
01:16:21,827 --> 01:16:24,370
This is the most humiliating thing you've done to me.
1003
01:16:24,538 --> 01:16:26,998
-This is the last straw, Clark. -Don't get mad.
1004
01:16:27,165 --> 01:16:31,168
-lt's not my fault they stole the camera. -You promised you'd erase it.
1005
01:16:31,378 --> 01:16:34,213
I did. l was. I was gonna erase it. The guy--
1006
01:16:34,381 --> 01:16:38,926
-He stole the camera, I-- -This is the lowest, the worst, Clark.
1007
01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:40,928
Ellen, where are you going?
1008
01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:43,097
We have to be at the Colosseum at 2 p.m.
1009
01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:45,182
I'm going back to the hotel.
1010
01:16:46,476 --> 01:16:49,353
-We didn't vote on that, did we, hon? -Oh, forget your vote.
1011
01:16:49,521 --> 01:16:52,481
I'm seceding from the union, I'm forming my own government...
1012
01:16:52,649 --> 01:16:55,359
...and l'm declaring war on you.
1013
01:16:58,739 --> 01:17:01,115
She'll be back. She knows l didn't mean to do it.
1014
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:03,618
I don't blame her, Dad.
1015
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:07,121
Yeah, it's not even a good likeness, is it?
1016
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:12,668
Well, l guess it's just you and me, Αudrey.
1017
01:17:13,503 --> 01:17:15,004
Audrey?
1018
01:17:22,429 --> 01:17:24,263
Say...
1019
01:17:24,431 --> 01:17:27,308
...that's bellissimo.
1020
01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:29,143
Really choice?
1021
01:17:29,686 --> 01:17:36,108
And l think that you are really bellissimo also.
1022
01:17:36,276 --> 01:17:38,694
You're not too shabby yourself.
1023
01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:41,530
-You speak English? -Sure. l'm from California.
1024
01:17:41,698 --> 01:17:43,991
All right. l'm from Chicago.
1025
01:17:44,159 --> 01:17:45,785
Hey.
1026
01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:48,412
Do you wanna scarf some Grimace proportions?
1027
01:17:48,580 --> 01:17:49,997
Sure.
1028
01:17:50,165 --> 01:17:51,832
So, what are you doing in Rome?
1029
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,918
Traveling through Europe with my folks.
1030
01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:55,961
-Me too. We won a-- -Pig in a Poke.
1031
01:17:56,129 --> 01:17:57,922
I know, I saw the show.
1032
01:17:58,090 --> 01:17:59,423
-You saw the show? -Sure.
1033
01:17:59,591 --> 01:18:01,425
You answered the Thomas Edison question.
1034
01:18:01,593 --> 01:18:03,636
-You won your dad car wax. -You remember?
1035
01:18:03,804 --> 01:18:05,638
Yeah, l thought you were cute.
1036
01:18:05,806 --> 01:18:07,973
You thought I was cute.
1037
01:18:21,488 --> 01:18:24,949
-Finally, there's one of them. -And she's alone.
1038
01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:27,284
Now, let's get that guy out of the trunk.
1039
01:18:27,452 --> 01:18:30,830
Too many people here. We'll move the car first.
1040
01:18:30,997 --> 01:18:32,748
I'll get the keys from her.
1041
01:18:53,019 --> 01:18:54,729
Hello...
1042
01:18:54,896 --> 01:18:57,231
...Ellen Griswald.
1043
01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:11,078
I hate to see a beautiful woman drink bad wine.
1044
01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:14,165
Oh, well, then, l think you should leave...
1045
01:19:14,332 --> 01:19:16,709
...because I'm gonna get plastered.
1046
01:19:18,503 --> 01:19:20,212
What is it?
1047
01:19:21,381 --> 01:19:23,591
Is it your husband?
1048
01:19:24,009 --> 01:19:27,344
-That pig? -Oh, he's not a pig.
1049
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:37,396
He is a pig. He is.
1050
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:44,028
Thank you.
1051
01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:49,033
Hello, operator? l'd like the number for information, please.
1052
01:19:49,201 --> 01:19:51,535
No, I wanna call the airport.
1053
01:20:00,420 --> 01:20:03,964
No, Pan Am.
1054
01:20:04,132 --> 01:20:05,549
Pan-o Am-o?
1055
01:20:05,759 --> 01:20:09,929
Thank you very much. Have a nice day.
1056
01:20:11,556 --> 01:20:14,767
I'm sorry.
1057
01:20:48,301 --> 01:20:51,303
And then I rolled over onto the floor and l started going:
1058
01:20:55,225 --> 01:20:56,767
And l was completely naked.
1059
01:20:56,935 --> 01:20:59,103
Well, not completely naked, I had on a towel.
1060
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:04,275
But he promised me he'd erase that. He promised me he'd erase it.
1061
01:21:04,651 --> 01:21:07,152
I'm a ruined woman.
1062
01:21:08,363 --> 01:21:10,447
I thought this was gonna be...
1063
01:21:12,367 --> 01:21:15,494
...like some kind of second honeymoon.
1064
01:21:15,996 --> 01:21:18,163
What we should've done is left the children...
1065
01:21:18,331 --> 01:21:20,499
...with Helga and Fritz.
1066
01:21:21,418 --> 01:21:23,168
Thank you.
1067
01:21:24,045 --> 01:21:27,840
I'm sorry. I should really go to my room now.
1068
01:21:28,008 --> 01:21:30,175
I'm going to throw up.
1069
01:21:34,848 --> 01:21:39,018
-Let me help you. Come on. -Oh, no, no. I'll be fine.
1070
01:21:39,185 --> 01:21:41,437
I think you'll feel better if you lie down.
1071
01:21:44,733 --> 01:21:47,943
I've developed this whole philosophy about dealing with my parents.
1072
01:21:48,153 --> 01:21:50,946
It's like, if I'm in school or hanging out or something...
1073
01:21:51,156 --> 01:21:55,451
...there's all this pressure, you know? To act cool or do the right thing.
1074
01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:58,662
But if I'm with my parents, who really cares?
1075
01:21:58,830 --> 01:22:00,915
They don't know what's cool and what's not.
1076
01:22:01,082 --> 01:22:03,459
So you can just put everything on hold, right?
1077
01:22:03,668 --> 01:22:05,586
You got a great way of looking at stuff.
1078
01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:08,797
-Thanks. -You know, l'm having a great time.
1079
01:22:09,174 --> 01:22:11,467
-Me too. -God, imagine...
1080
01:22:11,676 --> 01:22:14,428
...coming to Rome to meet someone from California.
1081
01:22:14,596 --> 01:22:16,513
Really.
1082
01:22:19,392 --> 01:22:22,061
Oh, whatever happened to us?
1083
01:22:22,979 --> 01:22:25,022
We were high-school sweethearts.
1084
01:22:25,190 --> 01:22:27,191
We never even did it until we got married.
1085
01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:29,902
Well, at least until we decided to get married.
1086
01:22:30,070 --> 01:22:33,572
And l left him all alone in that-- That-- That piazza.
1087
01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:36,742
I said the F word in front of my children.
1088
01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:39,536
What kind of a woman am l?
1089
01:22:40,330 --> 01:22:42,498
-Exciting. -What?
1090
01:22:42,707 --> 01:22:45,042
Don't fight it, Ellen.
1091
01:22:45,210 --> 01:22:47,378
What are you--? What are you doing?
1092
01:22:47,545 --> 01:22:50,673
-Let me take you away from all of this. -l don't wanna be away.
1093
01:22:50,840 --> 01:22:52,633
I want my Sparky back.
1094
01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:56,011
It was just a little argument. He'll probably be here any minute.
1095
01:22:57,472 --> 01:22:59,515
And he's very jealous.
1096
01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:01,600
I'm calling the manager.
1097
01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:06,271
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
1098
01:23:11,736 --> 01:23:13,570
Hello?
1099
01:23:15,156 --> 01:23:17,908
Are you taking any calls?
1100
01:23:19,577 --> 01:23:21,745
-Hello? -The police are here.
1101
01:23:21,913 --> 01:23:24,415
Stay away from the Fiat. I'm getting out of here.
1102
01:23:24,582 --> 01:23:26,375
I'll be right down.
1103
01:23:26,876 --> 01:23:28,961
Hello, Debbie? Αudrey.
1104
01:23:29,129 --> 01:23:31,880
We got a score to settle, and you know what l mean.
1105
01:23:32,048 --> 01:23:34,591
If you wanna salvage the last shred of friendship...
1106
01:23:34,759 --> 01:23:37,052
...that exists between us, you'll do me a favor.
1107
01:23:37,262 --> 01:23:39,596
Yeah, l want you to book me on a Pan Am flight...
1108
01:23:39,764 --> 01:23:42,683
...out of Rome into Chicago today.
1109
01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:45,352
Yeah, l'll hold.
1110
01:23:47,939 --> 01:23:49,106
Bitch.
1111
01:23:54,946 --> 01:23:57,573
-Mom? -Take the car keys.
1112
01:23:58,408 --> 01:24:00,659
-Mom. Find your father.
1113
01:24:00,827 --> 01:24:02,828
Come on, come on.
1114
01:24:05,540 --> 01:24:07,291
Don't move.
1115
01:24:16,801 --> 01:24:19,636
Mom? Mom.
1116
01:24:20,138 --> 01:24:22,473
Mom, where are you going?
1117
01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,559
Mother.
1118
01:24:25,977 --> 01:24:29,605
-Hi, hon. What's the matter? -Dad, l think Mom's been kidnapped.
1119
01:24:30,857 --> 01:24:34,109
-Where's the car? -Over there. Here's the keys.
1120
01:24:57,342 --> 01:24:59,718
Get out. -Stay there. Sparky.
1121
01:24:59,886 --> 01:25:00,928
There they are.
1122
01:25:24,661 --> 01:25:27,121
Hey, Dad, there's the Colosseum.
1123
01:25:34,170 --> 01:25:36,672
Well, God, I've been talking so much. What about you?
1124
01:25:36,881 --> 01:25:38,549
What are your parents like?
1125
01:25:38,716 --> 01:25:41,635
Well, there's really not that much to say.
1126
01:25:41,803 --> 01:25:44,012
They're just, like, normal parents.
1127
01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:56,400
My dad's all right. He's a little slow sometimes.
1128
01:26:03,908 --> 01:26:06,118
God, that's Dad.
1129
01:26:07,078 --> 01:26:08,495
-Get in. What happened?
1130
01:26:08,663 --> 01:26:10,956
Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
1131
01:26:35,815 --> 01:26:37,191
Darn it all.
1132
01:26:45,158 --> 01:26:47,284
Excuse me. There's a man in the trunk.
1133
01:26:47,452 --> 01:26:48,994
What?
1134
01:26:49,454 --> 01:26:52,289
Clark. Clark.
1135
01:26:54,125 --> 01:26:55,709
Ellen.
1136
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:58,045
I'm coming, honey.
1137
01:27:06,179 --> 01:27:08,972
Clark. Clark.
1138
01:27:30,245 --> 01:27:32,371
Take my hand.
1139
01:27:37,794 --> 01:27:40,170
Clark, where are you going?
1140
01:27:40,380 --> 01:27:42,381
Get back here.
1141
01:28:07,156 --> 01:28:08,490
What--?
1142
01:28:08,658 --> 01:28:10,158
Where are--?
1143
01:28:10,326 --> 01:28:12,327
You-- You bastard.
1144
01:28:14,038 --> 01:28:15,747
Come here.
1145
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:20,294
Come here. What the--?
1146
01:28:20,461 --> 01:28:22,462
-Hello. -Oh, hello.
1147
01:28:22,630 --> 01:28:25,090
-Still on holiday, are you? -Yeah, jeez, l'm sorry.
1148
01:28:25,258 --> 01:28:29,177
-l'm looking for somebody else. -No problem, l'm used to it. Good luck.
1149
01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:33,181
Look out. l'll get him.
1150
01:28:38,855 --> 01:28:40,480
He kidnapped my wife.
1151
01:28:42,984 --> 01:28:45,110
-You all right? -Oh, yeah.
1152
01:28:45,403 --> 01:28:47,738
Oh, Clark.
1153
01:29:01,753 --> 01:29:04,588
I love you, Sparky. You're my hero.
1154
01:29:04,756 --> 01:29:06,256
I know.
1155
01:29:06,591 --> 01:29:09,760
Your parents are actually pretty cool.
1156
01:29:09,927 --> 01:29:13,013
Yeah, they're good for a few laughs sometimes.
1157
01:29:13,806 --> 01:29:16,433
Now can we go home?
1158
01:30:04,440 --> 01:30:08,735
Clark, Clark. Look.
1159
01:30:09,278 --> 01:30:10,737
Hey, kids.
1160
01:30:10,905 --> 01:30:12,697
Look, the Statue of Liberty.
1161
01:30:13,699 --> 01:30:16,576
Great. -l never thought l'd be so glad...
1162
01:30:16,744 --> 01:30:19,162
-...to see the Statue of Liberty. -Me either.
1163
01:30:19,872 --> 01:30:21,957
Boy, the great thing about traveling...
1164
01:30:22,166 --> 01:30:24,918
...is you really learn to appreciate coming home.
1165
01:30:30,675 --> 01:30:32,509
I gotta go.
1166
01:30:37,723 --> 01:30:40,475
I never realized how much I've missed Αmerica.
1167
01:30:41,227 --> 01:30:44,271
Bet Αmerica's missed the Griswalds too, honey.
1168
01:30:47,400 --> 01:30:51,236
I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Let me get up-- My jacket is caught here.
1169
01:31:01,998 --> 01:31:05,375
Yep, the Griswalds are back.
87355
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