Original subtitles

(foreboding music)

(foreboding music continues)

(distant bird squawking) (foreboding music continues)

(water rushing)

(water gushing)

(water flowing)

(device beeping)

(device alarm sounding)

(device alarm sounding)

(device alarm sounding)

(device alarm sounding)

(water rushing)

(device alarm sounding)

(device alarm sounding continues)

(unsettling foreboding music)

(water rushing continues)

(device alarm sounding)

(device beeping)

(unsettling foreboding music continues)

(device beeping continues)

(blow landing)

(man yelling) (ominous music)

(water splashing)

(water splashing) (ominous music continues)

(foreboding music)

(man panting)

(man panting continues)

(man yelping) (menacing music)

(man gasping) (man panting)

(menacing music intensifying)

(static hissing)

(bits of music cutting in and out)

(groovy wistful music)

♪ We've been alone for awhile ♪

♪ Me and my heart, we're tired ♪

♪ As long as you're away from us ♪

♪ We're just living in the past ♪

♪ As long as you're away from us ♪

♪ I'm captive in my heart ♪

♪ And there's a good chance ♪

♪ We won't survive ♪

♪ What have we done to us ♪

♪ What made the curtains fall ♪

♪ Now I can only say, the show must go on ♪

(groovy wistful music continues)

♪ As long as you're away from us ♪

♪ I'm captive in my heart ♪

♪ And there's a good chance ♪

♪ We won't survive ♪

♪ We've been alone for awhile ♪

♪ Me and my heart, we're tired ♪

♪ Now I can only say, the show must go on ♪

(groovy wistful music continues)

♪ As long as you're away from us ♪

♪ I'm captive in my heart ♪

♪ And there's a good chance ♪

♪ We won't survive ♪

♪ We've been alone for awhile ♪

♪ Me and my heart, we're tired ♪

♪ Now I can only say, the show must go on ♪

(birds chirping)

(foreboding minimal music) (birds chirping continues)

(foreboding music continues) (birds chirping continues)

(grass crunching)

- Another lay?

(lover speaking softly)

(foreboding music intensifying)

(man yelling) (couple shrieking)

(man yelling in foreign language)

(woman laughing)

(man yelling in foreign language)

(mellow cheerful music) (birds chirping)

(woman laughing)

- Did you get everything?

- Got it.

(vehicle doors shutting) (vehicle rumbling)

(traffic rumbling) (horns honking)

(napkin rustling)

(man grunting)

(blows landing)

(minimal mischievous music)

- Welcome back to the infamous Sex Games Challenge,

motherfucking nerds, geeks, and dorks.

I'm your host with the most, Vic Fears.

And today we have a very special episode for you.

We're going, we're gonna be going live

directly to Italy with Rachel and Ryan,

who are there on vacation.

They prepared a little vacation video for us to see,

but spoiler alert.

You know, you can put away the Vaseline tissues for now.

It's not what you think, motherfuckers.

Anyway, you may know Rachel and Ryan

from previous challenges,

such as your mother knows, any dog goes, and marathon blows.

But this time, they'll take their sex game

to that next fucking level that very few ever get to.

But ah, can't spoiler any shit right now.

So stay tuned, and we'll be going live very soon.

For those viewers who are tuning in for the first time,

or who suffer severe memory loss from severe masturbation,

I recommend that you watch the previous episodes

to realize just to what extent these couples go to,

to degrade themselves in front of you

for the cash prize.

Cash rules everything around me, cream get the money.

Dollar, dollar motherfucking bills, yo.

So the point is,

you fucking self-deprecating nerds

who haven't seen pussy since pussy saw them,

stay tuned, buy massive loads of fucking

Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil, and have fun.

Click on your donations.

'Cause without your fucking donations,

these people would probably die of starvation.

'Cause all they do is fuck all day long.

No one works.

No one goes to fucking school for a better future.

These fucking sexual addicts need you,

chronic masturbators, to survive.

Your donations are fundamental

to the Ultimate Sex Challenge.

Now, you may have seen them jerk-off their classmates,

unbeknownst to their teacher, with the hidden cameras.

You might've seen them flashing in public elevators.

No sexual act is too low.

So how low will they go?

We will show you very soon.

We have a short video to show you

from the last leg of Ryan and Rachel's Euro trip fuck-fest,

coming from Italy now.

But spoiler alert, it's not what you think.

So you might wanna wait on getting the Vaseline and tissues,

you fucking sexually-depraved animals.

(lively cheerful music)

(lively cheerful music continues)

(lively cheerful music continues)

- [Ryan] So what do you want?

I, I never know what to order.

Vegetarian? - Nah.

- Nah.

You think I need better to eat a salad?

I'm, I'm sorry. - You think I need a salad?

- Never said that.

Uh.

- [Rachel] Pizza.

- Pizza. - Again pizza?

- [Ryan] Really don't know.

- Buongiorno. - Buongiorno.

(server speaking foreign language)

(Ryan speaking foreign language)

(server speaking foreign language)

- Ah, same.

(Ryan and server speaking foreign language)

- Today we celebrate.

- And what are we celebrating for?

- Our success in the last challenge.

You were fantastic yesterday.

- Oh, honey, I love you. - I love you more.

- Honey, listen to this.

For the lovers of the extreme, a new challenge.

If you'll brave this, you'll win the price of 10 grands.

- Ooh.

- The challenge is record yourself in an act of love

inside of a royal palace.

- Mm-hm. - The video must be

uploaded two days from now.

Good luck and may the best couple wins.

- Well, we already won.

We're in Italy.

There are more historic monuments here

than in the rest of the world.

And how hard can it be to find a royal one?

- Perfect.

Yeah.

Mm.

Find it, the nearest one is half an hour away from here.

- They better prepare the money bags.

We already won.

(lively upbeat music)

(server speaking foreign language)

- [Ryan] Grazie.

(lively upbeat music continues)

(lively upbeat music continues)

(lively upbeat music continues)

(lively upbeat music continues)

Seriously!

Another closed one, seriously?

- Forget the prize.

What we do now?

- Don't worry, we'll find another way, okay?

- Yeah, how?

- Don't know, check the rules, see is there's

some kind of caveat we can exploit.

- No, no, no.

Okay, um, if you're unable

to shoot the video 'cause of closed or crowded location,

the only way to complete the challenge

is to go from riches to rags.

You have to find an isolated location

with a creepy past full of unsolved mysteries.

The prize for the alternative solution

is of six grands instead of 10.

- That's fair.

Well, we are in Italy, aren't we?

We'll find a place, the outskirts of the towns

are full of strange and creepy places.

Well, let me check.

Yeah.

Well, ah.

Black magic triangle.

Boring.

Satanists, I'd rather not.

Devil's Bridge.

I'd rather not mess with him.

Forsaken Villas.

This may be the one.

Abandoned location in the Alps

located near the old nuclear power plants.

The radiation levels are safe.

But in the '70s and '80s, there have been

many lost people, and a lot of work-related injuries.

Sounds good.

- It sounds dangerous.

- Oh, come on, I'm sure it's because of the boss

who was kind of Scrooge who didn't want to pay

for security checks.

Or some mobster who wanted some sweetness to disappear.

Come on, we'll be fine.

- If you say so.

Okay.

Let's go. - Come on,

let's hop in the car.

(vehicle rumbling)

(foreboding minimal music)

(vehicle rumbling continues)

(bird chirping) (vehicle approaching)

(foreboding music continues)

You know you always hear that these little mountain towns

are full of strange, creepy, interesting people.

I only see old geezers.

Only old people.

- Yeah.

Oh look, we get to the cable car.

- Finally.

Again, and then once again in the parking lot.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

(vehicle rumbling) (birds chirping)

Mm, finally.

- It's strange weather.

Was sunny before.

Just a few minutes ago.

Now it's cloudy.

- We're in the mountains.

One minute might be sunny, the next might be cloudy.

The next, might be raining.

Rain the next.

- Ew.

(door shutting)

- Okay.

Let's go. - Yep.

(foreboding music)

Hello?

Excuse me, sir, could you give us some informations, please?

I'll take it as a yes.

We are trying to go to the abandoned village.

Can you tell us if, is this the right cable car to go there?

- Why?

- 'Cause it will be so kind of you to tell us.

- Why you want to go there?

No one goes there.

Especially two city losers like you.

- Excuse me.

We want to go there

because we want to go there.

And I think it's none of your business.

- You're right.

It's not my business.

But you should listen to me.

No one goes there.

It's been decades now.

In the '70s,

this whole area was nuclear power plants.

But then greed.

Greed changes everything.

Sooner or later,

hits you in the back.

There were a few accidents.

But for the community, it was okay.

Few questions.

A lot of work, a lot of money.

Then people start dying.

It was the water.

(foreboding music)

Was the air.

All, the whole area

was quarantined.

People could not escape.

People start dying.

They were hunting each other.

People were dying.

Children were

with disease.

The death was all around the mountains.

You should, you should not go there.

Don't, don't go there.

Don't go there.

Don't go there.

- Charming, I think we'll be on our way.

You've being very kind.

Have a lovely day. - Wait, wait, wait!

Take this.

It's for the radiation.

If you hear it, run.

- Riveting, have a lovely day, thank you kindly.

- Beware the hunters!

Hunters.

Yes.

Yes.

- Let me tell you, this freaking thing doesn't work.

- Oh, don't worry, we'll just look around.

We'll find something.

Can't be this far off.

- Well, we can always go back.

What can go wrong (chuckles)?

- [Ryan] We're pretty high, aren't we?

- Yeah, we are. - Just imagine

how it'd be too fall!

(Rachel screaming) (Ryan laughing)

- Idiot.

(birds chirping)

- Well, now we walk.

- What?

Um, I'm not dressed up for hiking in the woods,

you know? - If you prefer,

we can just go back and screw the challenge.

- No.

- Are you sure this is the right way?

- I think so.

Before this freaking thing stop working,

it says the place should be one miles away from here.

- Fine, one place is good as any other

to just land a tent and do something.

(mellow cheerful music)

(mellow cheerful music continues)

Hey!

(voice echoing)

- Woo!

(voice echoing)

- Hey oh!

(voice echoing)

(grass rustling)

(mellow cheerful music continues)

This is a nice one.

- Um, yeah.

- So how about we plant the tent here

and start practicing for our challenge.

(both giggling)

- Sounds nice.

- Welcome back to the Sex Game Challenge,

you motherfucking degenerate sickos and sickettes.

I'm your host with the most, Vic motherfucking Fierce.

Last time we tuned in, it was getting kind of hot

in here because our horny fucking couple,

Rachel and Ryan, were trying to break in

to the royal palace of Turin for the grand prize

of 10 motherfucking thousand dollars, U.S.

If you're lucky, I might take off something else,

you know what I'm saying?

Nah, just joking.

Anyway, since that didn't go down, some guard caught them.

Since that didn't go down,

since some fucking bastard guard caught them,

they decided to go for the second grand prize of six K.

Which is, remember, huh?

To fuck in a haunted town.

Now, I personally believe

in those motherfucking ghouls and ghosts.

I don't know about you guys.

But the idea of them watching as they get it on

kind of makes me, ah, eh.

You know what I'm saying?

Anyway, let's go.

Oh, we, we ah, we see that Rachel finally found some signal.

So let's go live to them

and get a little update on their fucking progress.

(birds chirping)

(stone tapping)

- Hello, guys, what's up?

So apparently we arrived in this lost woods

for the challenge, and we couldn't take

the challenge at the royal palace because it was closed.

So tomorrow, we'll do the challenge

in an abandoned village.

Ah.

There, my big man is planting the tent

for us tonight.

Hello, how's it going?

(stone tapping)

- Fuck. - Oh, poor thing.

Oh no.

- Fuck. - Poor, my little thing, no.

- Told ya, I would've met.

(birds chirping continues)

See, told ya.

- Guys, look, this is my man.

Mm-hm, he planted the tent.

So good.

- Bye. - See you tomorrow.

(birds chirping continues)

(foreboding music)

(crickets warbling)

(creature skittering)

(device beeping faintly)

Ryan.

Ryan.

(Ryan groaning)

Wake up.

- What?

(Rachel speaking softly)

(Ryan groaning)

(tent rustling)

(zipper unzipping)

(device beeping)

(foreboding music) (creature skittering)

- [Rachel] Hun.

- Wait here.

- Don't go. - Don't worry, it's fine.

Okay, it's fine.

(device beeping)

(critters warbling)

Hello?

Is anyone there?

(foreboding music)

(device beeping)

Is anyone there!

So we can have a laugh together, right?

(device beeping) (foreboding music continues)

(Rachel crying)

(menacing music)

(device beeping quicker)

(Rachel screaming)

(device beeping)

Hey.

It's me.

Come here, come here.

(Rachel sobbing)

Hey, it's fine, it's fine.

It's all right, it's all right.

(device beeping)

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

- Where were you? - Just outside.

(Rachel crying)

I was just here, I was just here.

- [Rachel] I was so scared.

- I'm here, okay?

I'm here.

It's fine.

Everything's fine.

(birds chirping)

(tent rustling) (zipper unzipping)

(foreboding music)

Rachel, come here.

- Yeah?

What is this?

Don't, don't touch it!

Maybe it is the thing we saw tonight.

(birds chirping continues)

I'm still shivering.

- Probably is just some, some child

who thinks he's funnier than he is.

- The weirdo, it's the guy at the cable car.

He shouted something, but.

- There you have it.

Must be him, or his son.

They woke up in the night and thought it would've been

so funny to pull a prank on us.

- What a fucking sense of humor.

- Indeed.

- Honey, let's finish this challenge

and go away from here ASAP.

- Indeed again.

Let's go.

(branches rattling)

- [Rachel] Ah.

- [Ryan] Hey, you okay?

- [Rachel] Yeah.

(foreboding music) (birds chirping)

Fuck off the idea of dressing up like this.

'Cause we are going to Hollywood party.

- You're right.

But we have to do this for the followers.

- Screw the followers.

If I have bristles under my feet, you'll carry me, okay?

- Love, we have to keep going.

We barely have enough money on our account to pay

for the gasoline to go back home.

Also, I can already hear the river, so we are close.

We find the right place.

We shoot our video, we win the challenge.

We win the six grands.

And we go back home.

Happy and rich, right?

- Yeah, you're right.

- Let's go.

(mellow cheerful music) (birds chirping)

(mellow cheerful music continues)

(mellow cheerful music continues)

(traffic rumbling) (horns honking)

- Welcome back to the ultimate sexual online experience,

you chronic fucking degenerate masturbators.

Last time we tuned in to Rachel and Ryan,

they had very poor signal, and they were looking for

an abandoned house in the ghost cannibal town of Schultze

to perform their final sexual challenge.

And any moment now, eh,

any moment now, they'll be sending us

their final sex challenge tape.

So get the baby oil-Vaseline tissues and donations ready,

because without your sweet little contributions,

we wouldn't be here right now.

So thank you and fuck you very much.

(wind gusting) (birds chirping)

(bird squawking)

(minimal foreboding music)

(Ryan sighing)

- There you have it.

Abandoned village.

- Uh-huh.

(minimal foreboding music continues)

(insects warbling) (bird chirping)

- But it is perfect for, for the challenge.

I didn't exactly get what happened here.

Just know that at once a point, everyone left.

Intriguing, isn't it?

- Uh.

Yeah?

It's kind of scary.

Well, let's find small place where to do the challenge.

- Let's go.

(insects warbling continues) (foreboding music continues)

(bird chirping)

(foreboding music intensifying)

- [Rachel] This one seems perfect.

(foreboding music continues)

(foreboding music continues)

(wood creaking)

(wood creaking continues)

Ryan.

- Hello there.

(wood creaking continues)

(wistful pensive music)

(wistful pensive music continues)

(wood creaking continues)

(wistful pensive music continues)

(insects warbling)

(unsettling music)

(foliage rustling) (Rachel yelping)

You son of a- - What was that?

- Hey!

Hey.

Hey!

Where the fuck you think you're going?

These fucking creeps.

Hey!

(unsettling music continues)

Come back here, you asshole!

Hey!

Asshole, where are you?

Fuck sake this.

(water rushing) (foliage rustling)

Fucking asshole.

Hey, where are you?

(foreboding music) (water rushing continues)

(menacing music)

Fuck.

(insects warbling) (menacing music continues)

(Ryan grunting)

- Ryan- - Rachel.

- Where were you? - We have to go.

- But don't ever leave me alone.

- No, no, no, we have to go now.

- What happened? - I chased the thing

down to the river.

There was blood everywhere.

- Blood? - We, I think someone

died there, we have to go now.

Okay?

Gimme this.

Go, go, go, go.

Look here, let's go.

(foreboding music) (insects warbling)

(bird chirping)

(foreboding music continues)

Where's the tent?

Where's the fucking tent?

- No. - Fuck.

- No.

- Must have been the thing.

- [Rachel] Honey, I'm exhausted.

- [Ryan] What are we going to do now without our stuff?

(birds chirping)

(sticks breaking)

- Ryan, I heard the noise.

- Who was it?

- I, I, I don't know, but we have to go.

- Come on. - Can't stay here.

- The cable car ain't far, come on.

(foreboding music)

(foreboding music continues)

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Fuck.

Fuck!

(foreboding music continues)

Fuck!

- There's no signal.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

We can, we can start walking down the mountain, okay?

We find a house or a farm, or who knows what.

And we'll ask for a phone.

All right, okay?

It's fine.

It's fine, okay, okay.

- Okay. - Okay, let's go.

(traffic rumbling) (horns honking)

- I don't know what happened.

We are suffering some technical difficulties

it seems, because we were told that the video

would be arriving shortly, and, ah, it has not arrived.

Now, whether it's the poor signal

they have in the ghost town of Schultze, Italy,

or God knows what happened,

we don't know.

I see from the comments below

that there's great anticipation.

I see from the comments below.

Unfortunately, uh, I, I am very sad.

I'm very, I'm, I am more than sad.

I am aggressively fucking pissed off!

That this fucking video hasn't arrived yet.

Our viewers are there with their cocks in hand

just waiting for the fucking thing

to be uploaded any second now.

The anticipation is not only killing me,

but it's making me extremely fucking horny.

I'm gonna go and ask my assistant

to fucking jerk me off in the moment

because I can't take this shit no more.

I don't know what to say.

These things are not supposed to happen.

It's not professional of them.

But hey, maybe they got caught in a shit storm.

Maybe, ah, they couldn't find the proper house.

Were fucking on the street, some neighbors saw them,

and shot them with a fucking salt air rifle.

We don't know.

We don't know, the moment we know, you have my word,

you have Vic Fierce's fucking word.

I just have one word, like my balls,

I don't break them for fucking nobody.

You got me, one word, that, my word, which is worth

its fucking weight in fucking cock.

(hands slapping)

So, as we greatly anticipate

the arrival of Rachel and Ryan's final sex challenge tape,

I have to address some of the comments below.

Especially this one comment from Sugar_Cube69.

Complaining that the show is not professional.

Sugar_Cube69, you fucking degenerate cock-sucking low life,

no-sex-having piece of fucking shit.

We see that you contributed only 10 euros

in the past month, and you've been masturbating

to our fucking show for 12 months.

That's not even fucking one Euro a month.

That's nothing.

You're fucking nothing.

Your mom is nothing.

Your father is nothing, you're fucking disgusting.

You're a degenerate fucking cock-in-hand,

never-saw-pussy-since-pussy-saw-you degenerate,

fucking cock-sucking, monkey-licking,

ball-snatching cockroach up the ass fucking shit.

I don't even have the fucking words to describe you.

I've been giving you the best fucking underground content

on the web.

You cock-sucking piece of shit

I've ever fucking seen.

And this is the fucking thanks that you show me?

Because of a technical delay,

which has nothing to do with the show.

Are you serious?

Actually, you know what?

Sugar_Cube69, you've been officially blocked.

Actually probably didn't even see

the last of my fucking sentence!

'Cause I already blocked you midway

through the fucking sentence.

Fuck you and the hole you came from.

So.

I'm interested in knowing

your own personal sexual experiences.

Where's the craziest place you ever fucked?

And with who and why?

Is there a why?

Or are we just animals?

Drugged by a deep desire,

instinct-based desire, to just procreate?

And society made shit complicated for us.

You can't fuck here, you can't fuck there.

You need permission.

The fuck outta here.

So that's all for tonight's masturbation session

on the world-famous Sex Games Challenge.

My name, as you well know,

the host with the most, the Vic Fears.

And everyone out there, suck my fucking dick.

(birds chirping)

- Honey. - Uh?

- [Rachel] I'm exhausted.

- Come on, we just have to find a phone.

Remember the challenge,

- Screw the challenge!

I just want to go home.

And take a shower.

And, and, and sleep in a comfy bed

in a four-star hotel room.

(birds chirping continues)

- And how are we supposed to pay for the stars,

and the room, and the bed

without the money of the challenge?

- Just find a way to take back my butt to town.

And I'll find a way to earn some money.

In a way or another.

(birds chirping continues)

- There, you see?

A house already.

Nothing to worry about.

(foreboding music) (birds chirping continues)

(foreboding music continues)

(foreboding music continues)

(foreboding music continues)

- Wait, what if the creature sleeps here?

- We have to

get in, find a phone, get out.

Okay?

(birds chirping continues) (foreboding music continues)

(metal squeaking)

(metal squeaking)

Let's be quiet.

There might be someone here.

- What kind of a place is this?

(Rachel groaning) (foreboding music continues)

The smell is atrocious.

(draw rattling)

(foreboding music continues)

(menacing music)

- [Ryan] Found something?

- [Rachel] Just dust.

(wood creaking)

(knob rattling)

It's locked.

- [Ryan] Let me try.

(knob rattling)

(door opening) (Ryan grunting)

- [Rachel] Oh god.

- What the fuck happened here?

(foreboding music)

(door shutting) (Rachel yelping)

- Let's, I don't wanna be here.

Please, let's go. - You're right.

Let's get out of here.

first we need to find a phone.

- Fuck the fucking phone.

(something banging)

- Fuck, he's back.

(footstep reverberating)

(foreboding music continues)

- [Rachel] What do we do?

What do we do now?

(knob rattling)

- Fuck.

Over here.

(foreboding music) (door shutting)

(something banging)

(bucket scraping)

(foreboding music continues)

(metal rattling)

(Rachel whimpering)

(bottles rattling) (foreboding music continues)

(ominous music) (Rachel yelping)

(foreboding music)

(foreboding music continues)

(creature growling) (Rachel screaming)

Rachel.

Rachel.

(wood banging)

(wood banging) (Ryan grunting)

Rachel, are you okay?

I don't (indistinct) again.

I can't free myself either.

The rope is too tight.

(footsteps approaching)

(wood creaking)

(footsteps reverberating)

(menacing music)

(metal scraping)

(menacing music continues)

(menacing music continues)

(door creaking open)

(door shutting)

Rachel, are you okay?

- Hurry, let's get free and run away from here.

Now. - There are drawers

under the table.

Try and look, if you can find a knife or, or something.

(tense music)

(wood sliding)

(metal reverberating)

Good.

Rachel.

Please cut loose.

(Ryan grunting)

The door.

Yes.

(metal rattling)

Of course.

(metal jangling)

- Found this.

- [Ryan] Let's go.

(door rattling)

(wood banging)

(ominous music)

(Ryan grunting)

(ominous aggressive music)

(ominous aggressive music continues)

(ominous aggressive music continues)

(ominous aggressive music continues)

(foreboding tense music)

(ominous aggressive music)

(ominous aggressive music continues)

- No, I can't leave you behind!

(tense music)

- If you, if you want to leave, you, you have to go.

That thing's an hunter.

And I'm loosing too much blood.

He'll track us down.

I'm, I'm wounded prey.

- No.

No no no.

- Hey hey, stay, stay here.

Okay, okay, I have an idea.

Okay, okay.

- [Ryan] What is it?

- Trust me.

Okay?

(Ryan panting)

(birds chirping)

(Ryan grunting)

(foreboding music)

- Hey.

Hey, you asshole.

I'm here.

(Ryan coughing)

(Ryan laughing)

(sinister music) (Ryan gasping)

- Hey!

You!

Say hello to my little friend.

(Rachel grunting) (rock smacking)

(unsettling music)

(Rachel panting)

Ryan!

Hey, hey.

Please, hey, we did it.

Please, please.

Ryan.

(somber ethereal music)

Ryan.

Don't leave me please.

Please don't leave me.

Please, look at me.

(somber ethereal music continues)

(Rachel screaming)

(somber ethereal music continues)

(somber ethereal music continues)

(somber ethereal music continues)

(water flowing)

(somber ethereal music continues)

(somber ethereal music continues)

(somber ethereal music continues)

(insects warbling)

(sinister music)

(crickets warbling)

(foreboding music)

(grass crunching)

(foreboding music continues)

(footsteps approaching)

(Rachel whimpering)

(ominous music)

(ominous music continues)

(man snarling)

(minimal mischievous music)

- Welcome back to the motherfucking Sex Games Challenge.

I'm your host with the most, Vic motherfucking Fears.

And unfortunately, as Shakespeares once said,

shit does happen.

And when it happens, uh, you gotta make the most with it.

And on with the next one.

Show must go on.

So Ryan and Rachel, last we heard from them,

they were headed to the cannibalistic ghost town

of Schultze, Italy for their, uh,

second grand prize of 6,000.

But something must have happened.

The video never came through.

We hope they came, because if you don't cum,

what's the point of fucking life, right?

You sexual sickos (chuckles).

Point being the show must go on.

So we're looking for new participants

here on the very famous casting couch,

if you know what I mean.

For the Sex Games Challenge.

Some of the new challenges include

Golden Shower During Golden Hour, for our film enthusiasts.

You know, the golden hour is either

at sunset or dawn, where the light is just perfect

to get peed on.

Having said this, oh, we have the, uh,

the fan favorite request.

We must have a lot of Fight Club enthusiasts

amongst our fellow masturbators.

The masturbating in the, in the mashed potatoes,

the mashed potato masturbation session

in a three-star restaurant.

Or more, you fucking whore.

Because the point is, it's too easy

to masturbate in the local diner

where they probably know you.

At midnight.

You wanna go in the jam-packed,

in the center of town, restaurant, good Yelp reviews,

and find a way of getting to the kitchen, and masturbate.

That's not as easy as it may sound.

I know because I tried it a few times in my earlier days.

So.

Do you have what it takes?

Do you have what it takes to be a winner

with your wiener?

Here on the Sex Games Challenge?

'Cause if you do,

send us your cock pics, your pussy fucking pics,

at the email address below,

and get ready to blow for the show.

(mischievous music)

(mischievous music continues)

(mischievous music continues)

(mischievous music continues)

- [Woman] Oh yeah.

- [Man] Oh god, yes.

(man moaning)

(audio distorting)

(discordant music)

(unsettling music)

(unsettling music continues)

(unsettling music continues)

(unsettling music continues)

(unsettling music continues)

(unsettling music continues)