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Will!

Will!

Will!

Will!

Will!

Someone!

Will, help me!

Help me!

Help!

Hello and welcome to the Spooky Hour.

Your podcast about weird stories,

paranormal phenomena, and spooky legends worldwide.

I'm your host, Jessie, and this is my co-host, Will.

Hello, hello, hello.

So, what'd we talk about last week, Will?

Last week we talked about this interesting German legend

about a vicious witch and her cursed son,

that's recently been made into a popular movie series.

If you guys missed that episode,

or you're just new to the podcast altogether,

you can find us on iTunes, Spotify, or on Patreon,

where you can actually join our backers for only

two dollars a month and receive special episodes,

exclusive interviews and all of our regular episodes,

just two days early.

That's right, folks, we've recently uploaded

an episode about the suicide forest in Japan.

So, if you're into that kind of shit,

I highly suggest you check it out.

So, today Will has something he wants to tell our audience,

that he hasn't even talked to me about yet.

That's because you can't keep secrets, my dear.

That is not true.

So, two weeks ago, I received this exciting email,

from a Hollywood producer who stumbled upon our small

but nice podcast.

- Wow. - Yeah.

So here's what she wrote, she said she's gonna be producing

this documentary on this legend that's circulating Hollywood

that's been pretty popular lately.

She didn't get into exactly what the legend is,

but she actually asked us if we wanted to take part

in the physical production of the documentary.

Great!

Yeah!

So I had a call with her yesterday,

and I told her that you would be just as excited as I am,

so we would love to be involved.

That is exciting!

And I've got something more exciting for you, Jess.

What's that, Will?

We're gonna be meeting with her in just a couple of hours.

And she's gonna be going over the production, the process,

the whole deal, so what do you think?

I think it's a great idea, I mean,

we're completely prepared for that right now.

Yeah, I agree, and our viewers,

and listeners are so excited.

I'm sure you are.

Now for a brief break and a word from our sponsor.

So, she's a legit horror movie producer?

Yeah, she did that movie we saw about a month ago.

- The one with the bugs? - No.

The one with our favorite transvestite killer kid.

- Oh, my god, are you serious? - Yeah.

It's kind of weird that she wants to do a documentary,

but she said it's all about real-life legends right now.

So, she wants to do a documentary now.

I mean, it's super cool.

I just hope she takes us seriously.

Well, I mean, we won't know until we meet her, but,

she sounded really cool on the phone.

- All right then, let's go. - Let's do this.

What the fuck are you doing, dude?

She said she wants everything filmed, okay?

We haven't even met with her yet.

Yeah, but I want the whole process recorded.

I mean, the more we have, the better, don't you think?

Not when you're driving.

Okay, whatever.

So, Brenda, you'll make a start with the furniture?

Come on, you know what she likes.

First of all, look, just fix the light first.

Hey!

No, no, no, no.

Absolutely no filming in here.

You two even have an appointment?

Yeah, we've a two o'clock appointment,

with Mrs. Laura Benott, documentary film makers?

Right!

I'm so sorry, come this way.

Can you put the camera away now?

It's all right, just relax.

Mr. Winston?

Mr. Winston?

What is it?

We have the two o'clock appointment here for Mrs. Benott.

Of course.

Hi, I'm Mr. Roger Winston.

Hi, I'm Jessica.

- I'm Will. - Nice to meet you.

Laura is in a meeting right now,

but she'll be down very shortly.

You can wait in my office.

How's that sound?

- Sounds good. - Good?

You've already started filming.

That's the spirit.

Told you.

Right this way.

I understand.

Yes?

Mrs. Benott, your two o'clock is here.

Oh, of course!

Please, let them in.

Good luck.

- You are William, I see? - Yes, and this is Jess.

- Hi. - Of course.

What are you filming for?

I figured filming more that just the investigation

would make the documentary more interesting.

Plus, it'll give the viewers a little look

into the actual production itself.

This is Dominik Braun, he is my partner and he is putting

some of the money into this particular production,

but I believe he was actually just leaving, weren't you?

Well, I guess.

Mm.

I got other stuff to do anyway.

It's not that your little documentary

is the only thing we're producing here.

- Laura. - Mm-hm.

I'm so sorry, he is a dick, but he has the money

and he's willing to spend it, so we endure the best of men.

Don't we?

Um.

I guess.

Well, do you mind if I film the briefing?

I think it'll make a really nice

introduction to the documentary.

And right now, the viewer knows just as much as we do.

Of course, then I think it's a great idea.

Actually, there was a particular situation

that I did not tell you about over the phone,

and it's something that's happening in Hollywood right now,

where everybody wants to make this movie.

They're thinking about it.

I don't think.

We do it.

- So, what's it about? - Mm, not so fast.

First of all, I want to produce a documentary,

not make a feature film, not found-footage.

Nothing like that.

Not something hot that's on the market

right now in Hollywood.

I want to produce a documentary,

about the curse of the Wooden Devil.

Have you heard of it?

I didn't think so.

It takes place in a forest that's, um,

not too far outside of the city.

It's actually very local here.

And...

These are from the police.

They're the people who disappeared in that forest.

And no one cared.

But we care.

Well, what exactly is the Wooden Devil?

Oh, it's, it's a myth.

It's a legend.

Actually, I like "curse."

I think that would look really nice on the cover.

The main story is about a forest ranger,

and he has this territory.

And one day, he just goes nuts.

He makes a contract with the Devil,

and people start disappearing.

So the town next door, they come in and they hang him.

And then, they burn his corpse.

And they say that he possessed

all of the powers from the Devil,

and he just started killing

everyone who enters the territory.

And the story's been proven?

No, I don't know, that's for you to find out.

But how?

Well, my assistant and I, we did, we went to the location

and we looked around and we saw the actual place,

the actual forest, and there were some volunteers there

and they helped us, they showed us, you know, little spots,

little areas, and we took time.

So now, you can go there,

and maybe we'll have a documentary about this.

Well, like I told you on the phone, I'm in.

- What do you think, Jess? - Yeah, it sounds interesting.

We'd have to take some days off at the university, but...

Well, we'll provide everything for you.

The trailer, the camera, the equipment.

More information on the location, everything you need,

we provide it, we have it here for you.

So, everything is ready.

The question is...

Are you?

Laura Benott really followed through

on her promise, look at all this camera gear.

This is unreal.

Take a look at these.

These mini-cams for our heads.

That's gonna be awesome to film with.

And...

A frickin' drone!

Dude, who are you talking to?

Our viewers?

I thought we hadn't started yet.

Work it.

Come in!

- Hey! - Hey.

- How are you? - Good!

All right, now, let's get one on the lips.

Don't be a dick.

Hi, Will.

Hey, sexy.

Hey, can I use your bathroom real quick?

- Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead. - Great.

Hey, Jess?

Yeah?

What's she doing here?

Oh, Laura said we needed a third person,

so we could both be on camera.

Okay, but why her?

I don't know, she took all those

photography classes, remember?

Why? Do you know somebody else who'll work for free?

Well, I mean, I guess she is really good

at taking photos of her food.

Be nice!

She likes you and you know that.

So.

Who wants to be the non-believer of the group?

Wait, why does she have to be the non-believer?

Well, somebody's gotta be the non-believer.

Yeah, but why can't we all just be like skeptical,

but open-minded?

Boring!

Damn!

Of course I can be the non-believer.

I expect to see at least one ghost and one corpse.

If I don't get to see that, then I've wasted my time!

I wanna see two corpses and I wanna speak to that ghost.

You are so dumb!

I just got an idea.

Let's go to Marcel's!

Oh, my god, I love Marcel's.

They have the best food and drinks in town.

Yeah, but the owner is kind of an asshole.

This is my jam, come on, let's dance.

Come on, handsome.

It's cool, I'll just be here by myself.

At least I have you.

You're always there for me.

What is taking her so long?

Think I got everything.

This should cover me for the next few days.

What?

Hey, if I'm gonna be on camera,

I need to make sure I look good.

We're riding in that thing?

Will, can you help me with my luggage?

I just got my nails done.

Hey!

Be careful with that!

It's expensive.

So, this is our trailer.

I guess it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

Jesus, Jess, where'd you learn to drive?

Crazy.

Will!

What?

This is my favorite part.

Filming?

No, filming while you're working!

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Hello, viewers of this documentary!

We're lost, and it's all Will's fault.

We haven't even made it to the forest yet.

We're not lost, Jess, it's right here on the map.

Then why are we still driving?

Because she wants us to go to this exact location.

That's why.

If the forest is really haunted, it's haunted everywhere.

Of course, that's how it works, Erin.

You're not doing anything, here, take the map, then.

I don't know how to read these things.

I don't even know what direction we're in.

- Are you serious? - She's blonde.

We finally reached our destination.

After four hours of driving.

At least, I think this is the destination,

'cause everything here looks exactly the same.

And post.

Clumsy me.

- Jess? - Yeah?

Can you help Erin unload?

I'm gonna go check out this place before it gets dark.

I guess.

Finally.

Finally we have time for girl talk.

Hey, don't get too comfortable!

You're stuck with me for the next few days.

I'm okay with that!

I'm not.

This is me helping.

- Really? - No, I'll help.

All right.

This is the first official entry

into the documentary of The Wooden Devil.

I'm here in Rootwood Forest,

with Erin, Jess and myself.

We just parked our camper up here.

This is where we're gonna be camping.

We're just checking out the area, making sure there's

nothing dangerous, suspicious or frightening.

William!

What?

Hey, Will!

What?

Did you find a ghost yet?

Fuck you guys!

My god, he's gonna kill us.

Oh.

- Okay, that one looks good? - Oh, that one's hot.

- Okay, I'll post that one? - Yeah, post that one.

Oh, post that other one.

Ha-ha-ha, very funny.

It actually was, Will.

Do you guys take this serious at all?

Yeah, we take it serious, it's just, you know...

We've had a long day and we're both kind of tired,

so how about we just take it easy for now

and worry about the investigation stuff tomorrow?

Okay, whatever.

Yeah, we can start tomorrow, but,

we have to find the first mark, okay?

- Okie doke. - Aye, aye.

So, you and I are in the trailer and Will's in the tent.

Aw, are you sure?

Oh, yeah, I'm sure, I don't wanna see any morning wood.

I do.

I know you do!

So, do we have to wear these head-cams all night?

Well, not while we're sleeping, obviously.

Thank god, they're kind of uncomfortable.

Well, suffering is the essence of success.

Oh, shut up!

God.

So, this space here, is the Lady Lounge.

We can talk about anything we want,

because there's no boys allowed.

I like the sound of that.

Oh, my god, Jess, look.

Our fearless ghost hunter, finding his own demons tonight.

Aww.

Poor Will.

Oh, he's so cute.

So, what's the deal with you and him, anyway?

Remember that party I went to where I ran into Will?

Yes?

Well, we kinda hooked up.

Really?

No way.

But it didn't go any further than that.

But, I don't know.

I kinda like him.

It's two AM, and I'm hearing some really strange sounds

coming from the trailer.

I don't know where they're coming from, but I promised Will

I'd record, if anything like this happened, so, here I am.

Oh, my god.

Erin.

Wake up.

She is completely useless.

Okay.

Let's check.

There doesn't appear to be anything in here.

Oh, gosh.

Check the bathroom.

Jesus Christ, Will!

- What're you doing, Jess? - What are you doing in here?

I'm taking a shit!

God, there's bears out there.

I'm not gonna shit out in the woods.

Okay, so, um...

My mistake.

Turns out it was just Will taking a dump.

So this is the path that we're gonna take today.

I'm not sure exactly what we're gonna see, but it should be

something related to the curse of the Wooden Devil.

Ladies, ready for a hike?

Ugh, no rushing, please!

I need coffee first.

Ugh, I'd totally suck a dick

for a quadruple fudge coconut macchiato with a half a pump

of pumpkin spice and extra drizzle on top.

I gotta ask, though, ladies,

why didn't I get the memo about the glamping?

What's glamping?

You don't know what glamping is?

It's glamour camping, we gotta look beautiful

while we're enjoying nature, you know?

What do we have to look beautiful for?

It's not like there's any hot guys here.

Oh, god, I don't know.

Come on, you and your pearls can make it.

Really?

I got this.

Oh, my god.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

This is gorgeous.

Yeah.

Worth it, worth the hike.

Yeah, I'd say.

Did you see where Will went?

I don't know, who cares?

I'm gonna go look for him.

Oh, what is that?

I don't know.

Who or what do you think lives in there?

Ugh.

I don't wanna stay to find out.

Yeah, I'm not sure I do, either.

Come on, let's go.

You thirsty?

- Yes. - Yeah, grab some water.

Oh, Yes.

Great.

- Here you go. - Oh, thanks.

Oh, perfect.

Have a seat right here.

So, tell us, William.

What's wrong with you?

Why so serious?

I just, I wanna do this right.

This is a really big deal for Jess and I.

I just, I don't wanna fuck this up.

Doesn't mean we all can't have fun together.

Yeah, but it's already the second day,

and we haven't even found the first mark yet.

Look, this producer woman said

she doesn't expect you to find anything anyway, right?

So don't put yourself under so much pressure.

You guys, come here!

I found something.

Well, let's get moving.

Whoa, what is that?

I don't know, but it's creepy.

Erin?

I want you to film every angle of that.

Sure.

Mr. Hollywood.

What's with all the names?

Maybe it's some kind of memorial.

I don't know.

Like a memorial for dead people?

Yeah, "like a memorial for dead people."

Why would they have a memorial all the way out here?

It's not like anyone's gonna see this thing.

Hold on.

Do any of these names look familiar to you guys?

Not really.

Here, why don't you take out that folder?

The one that Laura gave us,

with all the missing people's names in it?

Read me a few names from there.

Okay, we got Tyler.

Sarah.

Jessica.

Melissa.

Caroline.

Celine.

Brandon.

Nicole.

Wait, wait, wait.

Celine, Brandon?

We got a match.

- Holy shit. - Come here.

Does that look like blood to you guys?

'Cause it sure looks like blood to me.

Oh, my god.

Dude, don't touch it.

What're you doing?

Oh, my god.

That's blood.

Oh, my god.

That's disgusting.

Okay, I don't like this.

So, we found a weird memorial tree

right in the middle of the haunted forest.

Just what you've been looking for, Will.

What the hell is that?

Oh, my god.

Guys?

Guys!

Jessie, are you filming this?

Yeah, yeah.

So, our camera girl, Erin, just found this noose

stuffed in a tree.

Right by where we found names from the missing names book,

that the producer of the documentary gave us.

Written in blood.

This doesn't make any sense.

No.

Can we go now?

- Yeah, come on, guys. - Please.

Let's go, this isn't right, come on.

- Come on. - Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

That was creepy.

Yeah, you guys okay?

- Yeah, we're all right. - Is she all right?

Mm-hm, she's just freaked out.

You're good, right, Erin?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Erin, I got an idea for ya.

How about for the future, you don't stick your hand

in every hole you come across?

- What? - Too soon.

So, I wanna tell you guys a story.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

It's a story that Laura told me when we were in the meeting.

Well, when Jess was in the bathroom for 30 minutes.

Hold on!

I was not pooping!

It was a really big building.

I'm just giving you shit about taking a shit.

Anyway, she told me why all these villagers thought

that their friends and family went missing,

here in Rootwood Forest.

Because of the Wooden Devil, right?

Yeah.

So, seeing that bloody face we saw earlier,

made me think of the story again.

I didn't think I was originally gonna have to tell you guys,

but I do now.

Don't remind me, please?

So, the first person that was rumored to have gone missing

in this forest, was a little girl and her dog.

The little girl wasn't allowed to go in the forest alone.

So she'd play with her dog on the outside of the forest.

One day, her dog ran into the forest.

She was calling and looking for it.

She couldn't find it and the sun started to go down,

so she panicked.

She ran into the forest.

And then?

Well, she didn't find her dog,

but she found these faces painted on trees.

Just like the one we saw earlier.

So, what?

So, she's a little girl.

She followed the faces deep into the forest.

It took her to this big tree,

and on this big tree was hanging a noose.

Will, that's sick.

Well, that's what the story is.

So, Laura told you all this?

Yeah.

I mean, everything here is a story, but,

that's why we're here.

Hey, I didn't sign up for any of this real shit.

So, the story goes,

the villagers walked in the forest,

looking for the little girl.

And they found her, hanging from the noose.

They said it was the Wooden Devil that convinced her

to hang herself.

All right, that's it, guys.

I'm going to bed.

Wait, hold on, Erin, it's just a story.

Sorry, Jess, but I've had enough for one day, all right?

Goodnight.

What?

You're an asshole.

It's just a story, that's why we're here!

You guys are so...

So sensitive.

Will.

- What? - What're you doing in here?

Oh, I was looking at footage.

- I must've fallen asleep. - Shh, listen.

What is that?

Whoa.

I don't know what that is.

It's like a howling.

How long has that being going on?

I don't know, I just woke up.

Think it's some kind of animal or something?

I don't know what that is.

Here.

Let's go see if we can get it on camera.

Did you hear that?

Yeah.

That was actually really creepy.

That didn't sound like a wolf, though.

No, it doesn't sound like a coyote, either.

Jess?

Are you in here?

Jess is gone and the goddamn lights don't work.

Are fucking kidding me?

Oh.

Is this is a campfire or something?

I don't know.

Is this a symbol of some kind, what you think that means?

I dunno.

It doesn't look like anything's been burned.

And she left her phone here.

Of course she did, why wouldn't she?

Will!

Jess!

Where are you guys?

What the?

What the hell was that?

- Was that Erin? - Oh, my god, that's Erin.

Erin!

Erin!

- Erin! - Erin?

Erin?

Are you okay?

There was something out there.

I saw it.

Erin, it was just us, we were out there.

No!

Not you, I saw it.

Like some sort of bat creature thing.

I don't know, something.

Erin.

Relax.

Jess and I were just out there, there's nothing out there.

Do you think I'm stupid?

No one is saying you're stupid, okay?

What're you doing?

I'm done with this shit.

This is crazy.

I am done.

I'm going.

If you think this is a fucking joke,

then you two can enjoy it on your own.

It's the middle of the night.

Just go away!

Erin!

Erin!

It's dark out there, don't be stupid.

Just shut up, William.

I'll order a ride-share.

Okay, you two can enjoy your spooky-wooky

ghost-hunting shit on your own.

Okay, I'm done.

I'm splitting.

Jesus.

What is that?

God.

If there is clown in here, I am so outta here.

Well, it's kind of the cleanest spot

to sit at and relax for a bit, I guess?

Really?

I blame you guys for this.

Well, I guess I'd better touch up my lips

if I'm gonna still be on camera.

I can't believe you guys just left me.

You didn't even stop me, okay?

Like, really?

I mean, I'm leaving, and you didn't even stop me.

You didn't even try!

You should've known there was no ride-shares

anywhere around here.

There's no sign of civilization.

I mean, look, nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

And you just let me leave.

Wow.

Wow.

It's beautiful.

- Beautiful, huh? - Should we rest here?

- I'll try calling Erin again. - All right.

She keeps declining my calls.

Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?

I don't know, I mean, I hope she's okay.

At this point, I don't really care, like,

we're falling behind schedule, we gotta find something.

Like, this is our big break, okay?

And I'm not gonna let some spoiled girl

ruin this experience for us.

Whoa.

Sorry, Jess.

Okay? I'm just, I'm frustrated.

Like, this is the third day,

and we still haven't found our first mark yet.

Well, have you watched the footage?

No, I haven't.

We haven't filmed enough yet.

I'm hoping, you know, maybe tomorrow,

but we gotta find something, like, big today.

Okay, I mean, we've found some things.

It's just nothing major yet, but I'm optimistic.

Yeah.

I mean I'm hoping that all this is building up to something.

I just hope Erin's okay, this isn't like her.

I mean, you know her better than I do, but...

Yeah, I hope she's all right.

You know, with her declining your calls,

I'm sure she's she's home.

You know, I mean, she left, she was pissed at us last night.

That's true.

Why are all the marked places so far from where we camped?

It's so much walking.

I think she wanted us to staying close to the road.

Hm, maybe, I don't know.

I mean, I don't know, if something happened, like,

if there was an accident or health issues, god forbid, like,

we're right by the road.

We can just hop on and we're outta here.

Makes sense to me.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Speaking of accidents.

If I don't find a bathroom soon,

I'm gonna have an accident myself.

Hold on, you need a tree to take a piss?

What are you, a dog?

That's what they call me!

Oh, my god.

What a douche.

Hey, Jess, come here!

You better put your wiener away first!

It's another noose.

Is that blood?

Looks like it.

Who do you think it's doing this?

I don't know.

Maybe like a cult or something.

Definitely fits that story you told.

Yeah.

So, what's on the agenda for tomorrow?

Tomorrow I think we should find the last mark on the map.

It's just weird, because none of the marks

are all that interesting.

You find all the good stuff on the way to the marks.

It's true.

I mean, she must really have

a bad location scout or something.

Well, that's for sure, man.

You know, I think I'm gonna go to bed.

I barely slept last night.

Yeah?

Yeah.

All right.

All right, goodnight.

Night.

Erin.

It's me again.

I wish you would accept my call.

I, um...

I want you to know that nobody blames you for leaving.

I completely understand, it's creepy here.

I'm pretty freaked out too, so...

If you could just, like, shoot me a text,

or give me a call back, so that I don't worry.

That'd be awesome, I'm having trouble sleeping.

We'll be back in a couple days, so we can talk more then.

All right, bye.

Will!

Will!

What's going on, Jess?

This was in our bathroom cabinet.

What?

This was in there?

Who would've done that?

Who would do that?

I don't know, Jess.

I mean, you're sleeping here, I'm out there, like...

Maybe it was Erin, maybe she's fucking with us?

She was really pissed off.

You think she would've done this?

I don't know what would motivate her to do this.

She's my friend.

I don't know.

How did they get in here?

I don't know.

Wait a minute.

It was you, wasn't it?

For your stupid fucking documentary, right?

Hold up a second, I did not do this!

Then who else would've done it?

I don't know, I...

It had to be you!

- It wasn't me! - I didn't do it!

It wasn't me!

Okay.

I need to go have a cigarette.

Jess!

It's dangerous out there, we don't know who's doing this!

Fuck.

Jess?

What?

Come here.

What is it?

Sit down.

What the fuck is that?

I don't know.

Are those teeth?

Holy shit.

You left this camera on.

That thing was in our trailer?

This is what Erin saw.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, she was right.

She wasn't fucking with us.

Oh, god, I hope she's okay.

- We gotta get outta here. - Jess?

I'm not fucking staying here anymore.

- Jess, Jess, calm down. - No!

- Calm down. - We need to call the police.

Jess, calm down, okay?

This is what we came here for.

We didn't come here to find footprints in the woods.

We have proof now that something weird is going on here.

This is awesome!

You're out of your fucking mind.

That thing is gonna kill us,

if we don't get the fuck out of here.

Jess?

Jess, just one more night.

You know, we'll leave first thing in the morning.

I'll rest now, I'll stay up all night.

You lock yourself in here, I'll watch the trailer.

We'll catch this thing on camera.

I can't even believe you're asking me this right now.

You have lost your fucking mind.

- Jess! - No fucking way.

- Jess? - No!

Jess?

Jess, please!

Do this one thing for me, all right?

One thing.

We are so close here.

I mean, look at this, we are so close.

This documentary could be huge.

Like, this could make us famous!

Who gives a fuck?

Think of the money.

You and I both know we need this.

Okay?

If we get this thing on tape and we can prove it...

Jess, it's our ticket.

Please.

I'm so fucking tired.

I know, Jess, we both are.

But we can't quit, we're this close, please.

Come on.

Who is that?

I don't know.

It's on the roof.

Oh, god.

Okay, we gotta do something.

Okay.

Okay, okay, um...

I'm gonna go outside, I'm gonna go find out what this is.

- No. - It's gonna be okay.

- No. - Jess.

Trust me, it's gonna be okay.

It's not safe out there.

Just, just stay here, okay?

I'm gonna be right back.

Okay?

It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay.

Who's out there?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Erin?

Erin!

Erin!

Oh, my god.

Oh, my...

Will!

Will!

Will!

Will!

Will!

Will!

Someone!

Will, help me!

Help me!

Will!

Help!

What?

No!

No!

You gotta be kidding me!

Are you kidding me?

It's not real.

No, no.

Will!

It's just a prank.

It was just a prank.

It's just a prank.

Just a prank.

It wasn't real, it wasn't real,

it wasn't real, it wasn't real.

Enough, enough!

That was so perfect.

Great show!

Hollywood could not have done it better.

Not even Netflix.

And you know,

I didn't actually think

you were going to be that difficult to get.

She really was quite a fighter.

Hey.

Shut!

Up!

Don't worry, this is going to be your final fucking scene!

I promise you that, okay?

Because we love all of the footage that we got of you!

The investment was really well worth it,

and unlike your little fucking, stupid, ridiculous podcast,

People are actually gonna watch this and enjoy it.

And on with the final shot!

Oh, and if you fuck this up,

I swear to fucking Christ,

I will fucking make him kill you so fucking slowly,

that I'm gonna make a fucking DVD series out of it!

You fucking bitch!

Roger, where the fuck are you?

Get the fuck in here!

No!

Like always?

Oh!

Yes!

- How was that? - Amazing.

So.

That's it?

All the hype for this scene?

What did you expect?

He's German, they don't know when to stop.

Listen, I paid good money for that movie.

If it doesn't sell, I...

Of course it will sell!

I have never had one dissatisfied customer yet.

- What? - What's going on?

Who did you invite here?

No one!

Roger, go get it!

What the hell is going on?

- Go! - Me?

Yes!

An amateurish production.

Fuck you, Dom!

At least there is a production,

with the few cents that you put in.

Go!

Who the fuck is that?

What the fuck is going on?

No.

No!

No.

You can't be real!

No!

Well, that's a wrap.

Everyone's dead.

Laura is gonna be very pleased with what I did.

They didn't have a clue.

Erin?

She was easy.

As easy as I thought.

Jess?

Jess put up a fight.

She was a fighter.

All the way until the end.

Made it a little bit more fun.

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