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1
00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:04,203
"LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,537
IN FRONT OF A LIVESTUDIO AUDIENCE.
3
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,139
OKAY, NOW I'M MAD.
4
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,941
[ SIGHS ]
MIKE, LET IT GO.
5
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:11,276
RESTAURANTS HAVE TO
IMPOSE SOME LIMITS
6
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,712
ON AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT
BRUNCH.
7
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,814
WELL, THEN IT'S NOT
AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BRUNCH,
8
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,050
AND I KNOW THEY HAD MORE
SMOKED SALMON IN THE BACK.
9
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,152
THIS IS WHAT I'M MAD ABOUT.
GIRLS!
10
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,287
GIRLS!
11
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,392
ALL THE LIGHTS ARE ON,
AND NOBODY'S HOME.
12
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:29,228
AND THIS TIME,
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MANDY.
13
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,544
[ SIGHS ]
14
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,985
IT'S NOON, AND THESE GIRLS LEFT
EVERY LIGHT ON IN THIS HOUSE.
15
00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:55,687
THIS PLACE IS MORE LIT THAN
THE LOHAN FAMILY CHRISTMAS.
16
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,424
OR A LOHAN FAMILY TUESDAY.
17
00:00:58,426 --> 00:00:59,758
WE'RE LOSING
THESE INCANDESCENTS.
18
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,260
THESE ARE VERY VALUABLE
TO ME.
19
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,028
OH, HONEY, YOU GOT A MILLION
OF THEM IN THE BASEMENT.
20
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,830
THAT'S RIGHT.
21
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,098
I STOCKPILED THEM BEFORE THE
GOVERNMENT MADE THEM ILLEGAL.
22
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,499
OH, YEAH.
HERE WE GO.
23
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,334
YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT --
GOVERNMENT OVERREACH.
24
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,003
WELL, WHY IS IT THEIR JOB TO
TELL ME WHAT BULBS I CAN USE?
25
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,905
WHAT'S NEXT?
26
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,440
MICHELLE OBAMA'S STOPPING BY
SAYING YOU CAN'T EAT ICE CREAM.
27
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,041
[ Chuckling ]
OH, LET HER TRY.
28
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,544
HONEY, THESE NEW BULBS
ARE MUCH MORE EFFICIENT.
29
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,412
I WOULD THINK
YOU'D EMBRACE THAT.
30
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,848
I HAVE A 60-YEAR-OLD TRUCK
AND A 30-YEAR-OLD MARRIAGE.
31
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,784
YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY
THAT I AM STUCK IN MY WAYS.
32
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,089
I DO LOVE THAT TRUCK.
33
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:33,192
-- Captions by VITAC --
34
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,599
HEY, ANY IDEA
WHERE MY 75-WATT BULBS WENT?
35
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,434
I DON'T HAVE AN IDEA...
36
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,004
BECAUSE I WOULD NEED
A LIGHT BULB FOR THAT.
37
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,274
IF YOU FEEL A JOKE LIKE THAT
COMING ON AGAIN,
38
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,811
PINCH YOURSELF SO WE'RE NOT
THE ONLY ONES IN PAIN.
39
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,114
AREN'T THERE A TON OF BULBS
IN THE BASEMENT?
40
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,815
THOSE ARE 60s
AND 100 WATT.
41
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,485
I'M LOOKING FOR THAT PERFECT
NOT TOO BRIGHT, NOT TOO DIM.
42
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:04,723
THE 75-WATT BULB IS LIKE THE
GOLDILOCKS OF INCANDESCENTS.
43
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:09,094
SPEAKING OF GOLDILOCKS, I THINK
SOMEBODY'S SITTING IN MY CHAIR.
44
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:12,498
I WANTED A FRONT-ROW SEAT FOR
THIS RIVETING LIGHT-BULB BANTER.
45
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,333
I GAVE A FEW
TO CAROL LARABEE,
46
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,568
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WATTAGE
THEY WERE,
47
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,338
BUT SHE WAS OVER HERE
AND ADMIRED OUR BULBS.
48
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,141
SO, YOU JUST GIVE YOUR BULBS
TO ANYBODY WHO OGLES THEM?
49
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,344
CAROL SAID CHUCK HATES
THE CURLICUE ONES,
50
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,845
SO I LET HER
TAKE A FEW BOXES.
51
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,947
I DIDN'T EVEN THINK YOU'D NOTICE
THEY WERE GONE.
52
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,083
NOTICE THEY WERE GONE?
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT OUR KIDS.
53
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:33,118
I'M TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING
THAT LIGHTS UP OUR HOME.
54
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,820
HEY, LISTEN UP,
EVERYBODY.
55
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,822
OKAY, SO, YOU KNOW HOW I'VE BEEN
MISSING MY MORNING CLASSES
56
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,590
'CAUSE I'M, LIKE,
ALWAYS RUNNING LATE?
57
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,359
ACTUALLY, NO.
58
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,861
WELL, IT'S BECOME KIND OF
A THING WITH MY T.A.s
59
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,831
AND MY PROFESSORS
AND THIS ANGRY GUY NAMED DEAN.
60
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,033
ANYWAYS, PROBLEM SOLVED!
61
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,701
I FOUND AN APARTMENT
CLOSER TO CAMPUS.
62
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,770
WHAT?
YOU'RE MOVING OUT?
63
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,006
YEAH.
YES! MY OWN BATHROOM!
64
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,641
MANDY,
THIS IS SO SUDDEN.
65
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,509
YES. [ SIGHS ]
66
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,012
LOSING MANDY WILL BE ROUGH, BUT
WE'LL HAVE TO WORK THROUGH IT.
67
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,514
LISTEN, IF YOU PUT A WHEELBARROW
UNDER YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW,
68
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,383
I'LL START CHUCKING OUT SHOES.
69
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,118
I KNOW THAT THIS SEEMS
A LITTLE OUT OF THE BLUE,
70
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,519
BUT I'VE THOUGHT
A LOT ABOUT IT,
71
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,288
AND I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR SUPPORT.
72
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,557
LIKE FIRST AND LAST MONTHS'
RENT? THAT KIND OF SUPPORT?
73
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,058
FATHER,
I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY.
74
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,860
I HAVE MY OWN CLOTHING BUSINESS,
REMEMBER?
75
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,395
I'M TALKING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
HERE.
76
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,896
OH, GOOD.
THAT'S YOUR MOM'S AREA.
77
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,565
ALL RIGHT. WE-- UH, MANDY,
HONEY, CAN WE, UH --
78
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,300
CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS
FOR A MINUTE?
79
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,802
LOOK, I HAVE TO MOVE FAST.
EVERYBODY WANTS THIS PLACE.
80
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,705
AN OLD LADY DIED IN THERE,
SO IT COMES WITH CATS.
81
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,977
WOW. HONEY, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE
LOSING DAUGHTER NUMBER TWO.
82
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,245
JUST CHRONOLOGICALLY.
83
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,147
HER RANKING
IS SOMEWHAT LOWER THAN THAT.
84
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:37,583
MAYBE IF I HEAD OVER
TO THE LARABEES',
85
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,351
I CAN GET
THOSE 75-WATT BULBS BACK.
86
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,353
MM. YOU KNOW, I GUESS WE SHOULD
HAVE SEEN THIS DAY COMING.
87
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,422
YOU PUSHED IT ALONG.
WHAT -- WHAT DID I DO?
88
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,225
YOU GAVE CAROL LARABEE
ALL THOSE LIGHT BULBS.
89
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,493
OH, YOU'RE STILL
ON THE MANDY THING?
90
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:49,661
[ SIGHS ]
91
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,563
RIGHT, RIGHT. MY BAD.
92
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,999
I FORGOT THERE WERE
TWO LIFE-CHANGING LOSSES
93
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,267
THAT HIT US TODAY.
94
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,902
[ CHUCKLES ]
95
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,738
THREE IF YOU COUNT
THAT SMOKED-SALMON NIGHTMARE.
96
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,477
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
97
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,683
NOW WE KNOW HOW MANY
MIDDLE-AGED WHITE DUDES
98
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,752
IT TAKES
TO STEAL A LIGHT BULB.
99
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,255
I NEED MY OTHER 75s BACK.
100
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,290
[ CHUCKLES ]
VANESSA GAVE US THOSE BULBS.
101
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,525
IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR PROBLEM
IS WITH YOUR WIFE.
102
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,961
IF YOU ONLY KNEW.
103
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:27,032
Ed: CHUCK,
THIRD PERIOD IS STARTING!
104
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,634
ED?
105
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,636
MIKEY.
106
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,771
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
EBONY AND ELDERLY?
107
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:38,110
ED WANTED TO COME OVER
AND WATCH THE HOCKEY GAME.
108
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,145
TURNS OUT
HE'S A BIG AVALANCHE FAN.
109
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,881
OF COURSE HE IS. HE'S ALL WHITE
AND EVERYTHING'S SLIDING DOWN.
110
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,383
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
111
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,486
SEE, THAT'S WHY
WE DIDN'T INVITE YOU.
112
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,288
GO AHEAD.
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
113
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,424
[ SIGHS ] STILL WARM.
114
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:55,494
LISTEN, I CAN ONLY STAY
UNTIL THE FIRST FIGHT.
115
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,397
THEN I'M LEAVING WITH
THE REST OF MY 75s.
116
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,465
YOU'RE NOT GETTING
MY LIGHT BULBS, BAXTER.
117
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,668
EVERYBODY HATES
THESE NEWFANGLED BULBS.
NO KIDDING.
118
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,504
MAKES EVEN THE COZIEST HOME
LOOK LIKE COUNTY LOCKUP.
119
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,340
I CAN'T HAVE THOSE CFL LIGHTS
IN MY HOUSE.
120
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:12,444
T-THE BLUISH CAST IS
UNFLATTERING TO MY COMPLEXION.
121
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,080
THOSE PANTS AREN'T DOING YOU
ANY FAVOR, EITHER.
122
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,351
YOU KNOW WHAT LIGHTING
YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN RIGHT NOW?
123
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,920
WHATEVER'S ON
OVER AT YOUR PLACE.
124
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,423
YOU KNOW, I BLAME YOUR BUDDY
IN THE HALF-WHITE HOUSE
125
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,757
FOR THIS STUFF.
126
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,693
HIS HOPE AND CHANGE IS,
127
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:30,362
"I HOPE TO CHANGE EVERY BULB
IN AMERICA."
128
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,864
IT WAS ACTUALLY
YOUR BOY "W"
129
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,267
WHO SIGNED
THE LIGHT-BULB LEGISLATION.
130
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,302
I BELIEVE IT WAS
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
131
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,172
"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"
AND "MISUNDERESTIMATED."
132
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,377
OKAY. IF YOU TWO HENS WILL JUST
STOP CLUCKING FOR A MOMENT HERE,
133
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:48,213
I CAN HOOK YOU UP WITH
SOME OLD-SCHOOL BULBS.
134
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,715
YEP. I KNOW A GUY.
135
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,516
HIS NAME
WAS THOMAS EDISON.
136
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,620
HE USED ED'S HEAD AS THE MODEL
FOR THE LIGHT BULB.
137
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,723
YOU WANT THE ADDRESS
OR NOT?
138
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,458
SERIOUSLY?
YOU -- YOU -- YOU KNOW WHERE
139
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,460
WE CAN SCORE
SOME CONTRABAND INCANDESCENTS?
140
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,828
MM-HMM.
141
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,897
NAME IS CHUEY.
ASK FOR RIPE STRAWBERRIES.
142
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,800
WHAT IF HE GIVES US
STRAWBERRIES?
143
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,069
THAT WOULD BE WEIRD
BECAUSE IT'S A HARDWARE STORE.
144
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,512
THERE YOU GO.
145
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:23,248
WHOA. I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH THE PLACE.
146
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,083
WELL, YOU HAVE TO USE
YOUR IMAGINATION.
147
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,085
ACTUALLY, NO.
USE MY IMAGINATION.
148
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,553
I HAVE WAY BETTER TASTE.
149
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,256
OKAY. SO, I'M THINKING,
LIKE, A COUCH GOES HERE,
150
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,191
A FLOOR LAMP
GOES, LIKE, THERE.
151
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,227
KYLE, GO BE THE LAMP, HUH?
152
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:39,231
OH, UM, A LITTLE TO THE LEFT,
ACTUALLY.
153
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,767
A LITTLE TO THE LEFT.
154
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,068
WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?
155
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,470
I'M A LAMP, SILLY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
156
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,275
LAMPS CAN'T MOVE.
I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING.
157
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,677
RYAN, GO BE THE LAMP.
158
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,012
Wow.
159
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,349
ALL RIGHT. COOL.
I GET TO BE RYAN.
160
00:06:57,351 --> 00:07:00,619
ALL RIGHT.
I'M FROM CANADA.
161
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,054
I HATE MEAT.
MY HAIR NEVER MOVES.
162
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,623
[ LAUGHS ]
163
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,091
OKAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, KYLE?
164
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,759
GO RUN TO THE CAR
AND GET THE TAPE MEASURE.
165
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,960
WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT IF YOUR
BED CAN FIT THROUGH THE DOOR.
166
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,562
RIGHT.
UH, HOLD UP.
167
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,631
THE LAMP HAS A QUESTION.
YES.
168
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,734
WHY IS KYLE'S BED MOVING IN
TO YOUR APARTMENT?
169
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,236
BECAUSE IF HE'S PAYING
HALF THE RENT,
170
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,305
HE DESERVES
A PLACE TO SLEEP.
171
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,808
NOW CAN I TELL RYAN THAT YOU TWO
ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER?
172
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,144
OH, MY GOD. YOU BETTER SO HE CAN
FOLLOW WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
173
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,079
YEAH, NO. THAT'S OKAY.
174
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,649
I'VE CONNECTED THE INCREDIBLY
CLOSE-TOGETHER DOTS. THANK YOU.
175
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:33,151
ANYWAY, UH, CONGRATS.
I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS.
176
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,586
THANK YOU.
177
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:35,987
AND IN A WAY, I THINK THAT,
YOU KNOW,
178
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,823
I DESERVE A LITTLE CREDIT.
WHY IS THAT?
179
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,891
WELL, IT'S HARD TO PICTURE
MIKE BEING COOL
180
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,493
WITH YOU GUYS LIVING TOGETHER
181
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,495
IF, YOU KNOW, I HADN'T
PAVED THE WAY WITH KRISTIN.
182
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:47,132
YEAH, IT WOULD BE HARD
TO PICTURE THAT.
183
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,567
UM...
184
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,735
YOU KNOW, IF HE KNEW.
185
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,805
WAIT.
MIKE DOESN'T KNOW?
186
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,475
NOW CAN I TELL RYAN
THAT DAD DOESN'T KNOW?
187
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,911
[ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS HUGE.
188
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,179
A HUGE MISTAKE, OKAY?
189
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,681
I KEEP TELLING HER
THERE IS NO WAY
190
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,749
SHE'S GONNA BE ABLE TO FOOL
MOM AND DAD ABOUT THIS.
191
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:07,152
AND GUESS WHO'S SUDDENLY NOT
THE WORST BAXTER BOYFRIEND.
192
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,753
THIS LAMP.
193
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:12,190
OH, OKAY. NO. NO.
IT -- IT -- NO. IT'S NOT FUNNY.
194
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,892
NO. BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY
HILARIOUS.
195
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,661
WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE
LET ME TELL MIKE?
196
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,497
NO. WAIT. HE'LL PROBABLY
KILL THE MESSENGER.
197
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,765
JUST LET ME BE IN THE ROOM
WHEN YOU TELL HIM. NO. WAIT.
198
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,502
HE'LL PROBABLY KILL ME STILL
'CAUSE HE CAN'T KILL YOU.
199
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,370
YOU KNOW WHAT?
JUST FILM IT.
NO.
200
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,974
I PLAN TO TELL MOM AND DAD AFTER
KYLE AND I ARE ALL SETTLED IN.
201
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,109
OH, I ALSO MIGHT
TAKE IN AN ORPHAN
202
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,879
SO THEY'LL REALLY LOOK LIKE
JERKS IF THEY TRY TO STOP US.
203
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,614
THE WAY
THAT KYLE WORSHIPS MIKE,
204
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,649
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE'S GOING ALONG WITH THIS.
205
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,618
GOING ALONG WITH WHAT?
206
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,453
NOW CAN KRISTIN TELL ME
207
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:44,022
THAT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD KYLE
THAT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD MIKE?
208
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,194
HE'S SURE GOT A LOT TO SAY
FOR A LAMP.
209
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:58,303
OH, I DON'T SEE ANY
OF THE GOOD STUFF.
210
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,573
THEY'RE NOT GONNA HAVE THE FRESH
STRAWBERRIES OUT IN THE OPEN.
211
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,376
I FIGURED A GUY LIKE YOU
MORE STREET SMART THAN THAT.
212
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,711
IF I WAS, I WOULDN'T HAVE
MOVED ONTO YOUR STREET.
213
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,580
FINDING EVERYTHING OKAY?
214
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,148
YEAH, WE'RE, UM --
215
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:14,219
WE'RE LOOKING FOR, UH,
INCANDESCENT BULBS, 75 WATTS.
216
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,055
SIR, INCANDESCENTS
BETWEEN 40 AND 100 WATTS
217
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,225
ARE NO LONGER LEGALLY SOLD
ON U.S. SOIL...
218
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,427
UNLESS YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A THREE-WAY.
219
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,564
WE'RE BOTH MARRIED MEN.
220
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,766
WE'RE JUST LOOKING
FOR LIGHT BULBS.
221
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,834
ED ALZATE SENT US.
222
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,704
WE'RE HERE TO SPEAK TO CHUEY
ABOUT SOME, UH...
223
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,774
SOME RIPE STRAWBERRIES.
224
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,576
WAIT HERE.
225
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,579
SEE?
226
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,713
HONEY?
227
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,582
VANESSA?
228
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,883
VANESSA, HEY, HEY.
229
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:45,951
OH, HI, CHUCK. HI.
230
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,452
HI, VANESSA.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
231
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,287
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
AT THE HARDWARE STORE?
232
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,056
I'M REGISTERED HERE!
233
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,891
YOU COULD FIND A NICE
CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR ME.
234
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,627
YEAH, NOTHING SAYS
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS,"
235
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,630
LIKE A BOX OF NAILS.
236
00:09:58,632 --> 00:09:59,965
ACTUALLY,
I'M LOOKING FOR PAINT.
237
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,466
WHEN MANDY MOVES OUT,
238
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,034
I FIGURE WE'D TURN HER ROOM
INTO MY OFFICE.
239
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,771
I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD TURN IT
INTO...A WEIGHT ROOM.
240
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,940
COME ON, MIKE. ONE OF US SHOULD
GET SOME USE OUT OF THAT ROOM.
241
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,175
[ CHUCKLES ]
242
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,913
SO, WHAT, ARE YOU HERE
FOR YOUR PRECIOUS BULBS?
243
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,615
DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
SHE'S PROBABLY WEARING A WIRE.
244
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,484
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, TRY NOT TO GET ARRESTED.
245
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,052
YEAH, BUT IF YOU DO,
246
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,189
I HEAR THEY HAVE A NICE
WEIGHT ROOM IN PRISON.
247
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,228
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GETTING CHUEY.
248
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,796
I'M CHUEY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
249
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,799
ED SAYS YOU TWO CHECK OUT.
I CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.
250
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,969
YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE A PAIR
OF COPS FROM AN '80s MOVIE.
251
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,271
YEAH, YEAH.
252
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:45,076
I'M THE LOOSE CANNON,
'CAUSE I DO THINGS MY OWN WAY.
253
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:49,914
HE'S "BY THE BOOK."
SEE, HE'S TOO OLD FOR THIS CRAP.
254
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:53,084
SPEAKING OF GETTING TOO OLD,
DO YOU HAVE THE BERRIES OR NOT?
255
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,453
THE MERCHANDISE
IS IN MY VAN.
256
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,522
MEET ME IN THE ALLEY
IN HALF AN HOUR.
257
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,858
OH, COME ON.
258
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:02,961
I AM GETTING TOO OLD
FOR THIS CRAP.
259
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,697
I'M GOING TO A LOT OF TROUBLE
TO MAKE YOU LOOK PRETTY.
260
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,273
CRAZY-ASS WORLD.
261
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,709
MARIJUANA IS LEGAL,
262
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,145
AND HERE WE ARE WAITING
IN AN ALLEY LIKE CRIMINALS
263
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,113
TO BUY A DECENT LIGHT BULB.
264
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,982
YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE
265
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:27,218
THIS IS THE ONLY TIME YOU'VE
EVER DONE BUSINESS IN AN ALLEY?
266
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,486
OF COURSE NOT.
267
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,188
YOU KNOW, I DO MOST
OF MY SHOPPING HERE.
268
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,524
IT'S WHERE I GET
MY PIMP CHALICES
269
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,526
AND MUSTARD-COLORED SUITS.
270
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,030
SO, VANESSA SAID
MANDY'S MOVING OUT.
271
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,665
LOOKS THAT WAY.
MM.
272
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,367
WHAT'S A PIMP CHALICE?
273
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,402
ABOUT $40.
274
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,005
IS SHE STAYING IN TOWN?
275
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,239
NO, NO.
276
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,308
SOMETHING CLOSE ENOUGH
TO CAMPUS
277
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,576
AND FAR ENOUGH AWAY FROM US
278
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,545
THAT SHE CAN MOVE IN
WITH HER BOYFRIEND.
279
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,213
OH. [ CHUCKLES ]
280
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,749
I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN YOUR
FACE WHEN SHE TOLD YOU THAT.
281
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,651
SHE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT.
I FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF.
282
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,086
I MEAN,
KYLE'S GONNA BE THERE 24/7.
283
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,587
SHE'S SMART ENOUGH
TO CHARGE THE GUY RENT.
284
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,723
SO, WELL -- WELL,
LET'S BREAK THIS DOWN.
285
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,925
YOU GOT ONE KID SHACKING UP,
286
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:10,061
ANOTHER WITH A BABY DADDY,
AND A THIRD PLAYING FOOTBALL.
287
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:14,632
YOUR FAMILY'S BLACKER THAN MINE,
BAXTER.
288
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,174
MAYBE I SHOULD BORROW
THAT PIMP CHALICE.
289
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,243
80 BUCKS,
AND YOU CAN OWN IT.
290
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,778
[ CHUCKLES ]
291
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,180
SO, HOW YOU DOING WITH
THIS WHOLE MANDY BUSINESS?
292
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,083
WELL, I'M WAITING IN AN ALLEY
FOR A GUY NAMED CHUEY,
293
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,786
SO I GUESS
I'M STILL FIGURING IT OUT.
294
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:37,122
I SEE. SO YOU WENT LOOKING
FOR SOME SAGE ADVICE
295
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,357
FROM YOUR MUCH SMARTER FRIEND
CHUCK LARABEE.
296
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,359
WELL, I WAS HOPING TO GET ADVICE
FROM THE LIGHT-BULB GUY,
297
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,961
BUT HE'S JUST
TAKING TOO LONG.
298
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,931
ON THE ONE HAND, I COULD WRECK
THIS WHOLE THING WITH MANDY
299
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,067
AND MAKE KYLE'S LIFE
A LIVING HELL.
300
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,401
AND ON THE OTHER HAND...?
301
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,670
OH, I'M STILL ENJOYING
THAT FIRST HAND.
302
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,808
IF I GET
IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS,
303
00:12:56,810 --> 00:13:00,879
I END UP LOSING MANDY
AND MY WEIGHT ROOM.
304
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,381
[ SIGHS ] KIDS GROW UP, MAN.
THEY DO WHAT THEY WANT.
305
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,983
YEAH.
306
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,720
YOU KNOW, BRANDON WANTS TO GO
TO FLORIDA STATE NEXT YEAR.
307
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,089
YOUNG BLACK MAN
WALKING AROUND FLORIDA?
308
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,824
I DON'T THINK SO.
309
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,893
PLUS IT'S A LOUSY SCHOOL.
310
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,661
YEAH. MAYBE HE'LL WISE UP.
311
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,930
NOT AT FLORIDA STATE,
HE WON'T.
312
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,500
LIFE'S CHANGING WAY TOO FAST
FOR ME, BAXTER.
313
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,135
I HEAR YOU.
314
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,970
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
315
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,107
WELL, THERE'S AN OLD VAN.
IT'S GOT TO BE HIM.
316
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,675
[ SIGHS ]
317
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,076
[ VAN DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
IF WE GET BUSTED,
318
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,412
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M GONNA TELL MY WIFE.
319
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,816
IF WE GET BUSTED, YOU'RE GONNA
BE SOMEBODY ELSE'S WIFE.
320
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,292
DAD?
321
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,928
WELL, HE'S NOT HERE, SO WE CAN
COME BACK ANOTHER TIME. SEE?
322
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,296
[ CHUCKLES ]
323
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,364
NO. OKAY.
WE'RE GONNA WAIT FOR HIM.
324
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,466
I'M NOT COMFORTABLE
GOING THROUGH WITH THIS
325
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,001
UNTIL I KNOW IT'S OKAY
WITH MR. B.
326
00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:00,004
FINE. OKAY.
I'M GONNA GO GRAB A SWEATER.
327
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,407
I LIKED YOU BETTER
AS A LAMP.
328
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:07,712
WELL, WELL, WELL.
329
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,314
OH, HI, EVE.
330
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:12,984
I HEARD A LOT OF
NERVOUS CHITTER-CHAT.
331
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,720
WHAT'S THE MYSTERY,
SHAGGY?
332
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:18,823
UH, YEAH, MANDY AND I
HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK
TO YOUR DAD ABOUT,
333
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,892
BUT I REALLY SHOULDN'T
SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT HER.
334
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,061
IT'S TOO BAD,
'CAUSE I WAS KIND OF HOPING
335
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,663
WE COULD DO THIS THE EASY WAY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
336
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,399
TAKE A SEAT.
WE MIGHT BE HERE A WHILE.
337
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,535
YEAH. OKAY.
338
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,605
UH, MANDY DOES TAKE A LONG TIME
TO PICK OUT A SWEATER.
339
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:38,576
OH, HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
340
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,312
I WAS JUST -- UH, JUST THINKING
OF PAINTING YOUR ROOM.
341
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,348
WHEN YOU'RE GONE,
I THOUGHT THIS COULD EITHER BE
342
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,717
MY OFFICE
OR YOUR DAD'S WEIGHT ROOM.
343
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:49,254
SO WE'LL COMPROMISE, AND IT'LL
BE YOUR DAD'S WEIGHT ROOM.
344
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,424
UNLESS YOU'VE CHANGED YOUR MIND
ABOUT MOVING.
345
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,560
Mandy:
SORRY, MOM. IT'S TIME.
346
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,363
BUT DON'T WORRY.
THIS WILL ALWAYS BE MY HOME.
347
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,265
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU JUST SAID THAT.
348
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,267
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S -- THAT'S EXACTLY
349
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,769
WHAT I SAID TO MY PARENTS
WHEN I LEFT FOR OHIO STATE.
350
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,905
YEAH, I-I TOLD MY MOM
THAT I'D BE BACK,
351
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:09,874
THAT, UH -- THAT OUR FAMILY HOME
WOULD ALWAYS BE MY HOME,
352
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,176
BUT, UM...YOU KNOW WHAT?
353
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,112
I NEVER LIVED THERE AGAIN.
354
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,614
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU MIGHT GO BACK, MOM.
355
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,686
NO. IT'S A PIZZA HUT NOW,
SO...
356
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,522
NO. WON'T GO BACK.
YEAH.
357
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,090
[ CHUCKLES ]
358
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,725
MY LITTLE MANDY.
359
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,928
GOSH, MY LITTLE MANDY
MOVING OUT.
360
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,963
REMEMBER WHEN
I BOUGHT YOU THIS?
361
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:32,931
MM-HMM.
362
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,866
YOUR FIRST BIG-GIRL BED,
HUH?
363
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,434
I ALSO REMEMBER BUYING YOU
364
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,037
THAT -- THAT FUZZY PINK
COMFORTER THAT WENT WITH IT.
365
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,705
YEAH. I REMEMBER.
366
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:44,943
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
YOU USED THE WORD "RECEIPT."
367
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:50,882
MOM, I'M SORRY
IF I WAS A PAIN.
368
00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:54,252
MOMMY.
369
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,987
YOU ARE NOT A PAIN.
370
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,121
[ CHUCKLES ]
371
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,122
AND YOU KNOW
WHAT I LOVE?
372
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,757
WHAT?
373
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:03,962
I LOVE HOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT
374
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,397
AND YOU ARE NOT AFRAID
TO GO GET IT.
375
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,400
THANKS.
376
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:13,171
BUT, UM...I HAVE TO ADMIT,
I AM --
377
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,573
I AM A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT
YOU LIVING OUT THERE ALONE.
378
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,409
GOSH, I'D ALMOST FEEL BETTER
IF YOU HAD A-A DOG
379
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:22,580
OR A ROOMMATE OR, UM -- OR EVEN
KYLE LIVING THERE WITH YOU.
380
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,648
KYLE.
YEAH.
381
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,850
THAT'S SO CRAZY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
382
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,586
THAT'S LIKE A TOTALLY CRAZY,
OUT-THERE IDEA.
383
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:29,487
YEAH.
384
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,022
WHAT?
385
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:34,192
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN WRONG BEFORE.
386
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,095
I, UM -- OH, EXCEPT
REGARDING THAT COMFORTER.
387
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,863
YEAH.
OH, WHAT AM I SAYING?
388
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,366
OH, MY GOD. YOUR FATHER
WOULD GO BALLISTIC.
389
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,668
UM, BUT HE WOULD PROBABLY
GET OVER IT EVENTUALLY, RIGHT?
390
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,537
OH, WELL, MAYBE,
BUT KYLE WOULD BE DEAD BY THEN,
391
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,774
SO I --
WHAT'S THE POINT, RIGHT?
392
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,309
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH.
393
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,744
[ SMOOCHES ] YEAH.
394
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,513
COME ON, KYLE.
395
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,683
YOU'RE NOT A SNEAKY,
SECRET-KEEPING GUY.
396
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,985
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
GETTING THIS OFF YOUR CHEST.
397
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:04,489
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I-I DON'T LIKE LYING TO PEOPLE.
398
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,058
AND -- AND IT HAS BEEN
WEIGHING ON ME.
399
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:11,729
HERE IT COMES --
THE SWEET SONG OF THE CANARY.
400
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,731
MANDY AND I
ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER.
401
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:16,801
WHOA. [ CHUCKLES ]
NOW I NEED TO SIT DOWN.
402
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,903
YEAH.
403
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,205
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT TELLING MR. B.
404
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,641
I MEAN, HE'S GOT
A SUPER-HIGH OPINION OF ME.
405
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,845
WELL,
YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED.
406
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,548
I MEAN, MY DAD THINKS
YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY
WHO WOULD BUY THE COW
407
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,518
RATHER THAN TRYING
TO GET THE MILK FOR FREE.
408
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,587
YEAH. I-I DON'T
REALLY WANT A COW,
409
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,724
BUT I GUESS
IF ONE NEEDED A HOME...
410
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,428
HE'S GONNA BE REALLY
DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
411
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,930
HE REALLY THINKS
YOU'RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES.
412
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,398
I AM.
413
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,866
AT LEAST, I WAS.
414
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,768
Mandy: ALL RIGHT, KYLE.
LET'S GO.
415
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,604
WE CAN TALK TO MY DAD
ANOTHER TIME, LIKE IN A YEAR.
416
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:54,872
WELL, WHAT'S THE HURRY?
417
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,041
DON'T YOU WANT TO SHARE
THE GOOD NEWS?
418
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,443
WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?
419
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,778
THESE TWO ARE PLANNING
TO SHACK UP.
420
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,780
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YOU TOLD HER?
421
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,416
WAIT. YOU AND KYLE
ARE LIVING TOGETHER?
422
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,019
YEAH, IT JUST SOUNDED
LIKE SUCH A GOOD IDEA
WHEN YOU SUGGESTED IT.
423
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,455
TWO MINUTES AGO?
424
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,623
YEAH.
IT WAS THAT GOOD.
425
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,961
ACTUALLY, MANDY,
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
426
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:22,100
EVE GOT ME THINKING,
AND...I CAN'T MOVE IN WITH YOU.
427
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,701
I'M SORRY.
428
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,905
WOW.
429
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,608
THAT WAS A REALLY ROTTEN THING
TO DO, EVE.
430
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,144
YOU GOT KYLE THINKING.
431
00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:45,490
SO, LONG STORY SHORT,
MANDY HAD THIS SNEAKY PLAN,
432
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,392
BUT THEN EVE MADE KYLE
FEEL GUILTY AND HE BAILED.
433
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,128
SO I GUESS YOU WON'T BE GETTING
YOUR WEIGHT ROOM.
434
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,562
WELL,
SINCE IT DIDN'T WORK OUT,
435
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,264
YOU CAN NOW USE THE SPACE
FOR YOUR OFFICE.
436
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,365
AH.
437
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,270
YOU KNOW, I HATED TO THINK
OF MANDY LEAVING.
438
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,005
HONEY, SHE CAN'T LIVE HERE
FOREVER.
439
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,674
ALTHOUGH, WHEN WE SAW HER
TEST SCORES FROM GRADE SCHOOL,
440
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,576
WE THOUGHT MAYBE...
441
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,313
WE CAN'T FIGHT CHANGE,
BABE.
442
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,149
WELL, YOU DID. I MEAN,
YOU GOT YOUR INCANDESCENTS.
443
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,950
THIS IS JUST
A MATTER OF TIME.
444
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,786
CHUEY SAYS THEY'RE RUNNING OUT
OF INCANDESCENTS.
WHO'S CHUEY?
445
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,789
A METAPHOR FOR EVERYTHING
THAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA.
446
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,424
[ SIGHS ]
447
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:23,661
WELL, IRONICALLY, EVE IS THE ONE
WHO WANTED MANDY GONE,
448
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,830
AND SHE'S THE ONE
WHO BLEW IT UP.
449
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,799
SHE REALLY
SHOT HERSELF IN THE FOOT.
450
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,635
I DON'T THINK SO.
451
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,737
SHE'S A BETTER SHOT
THAN THAT.
452
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:38,376
SO, SOUNDS LIKE YOU'LL BE
SHARING A BATHROOM AGAIN, HUH?
453
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,443
YEAH.
454
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,978
I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD
455
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,314
TO HAVING A DRY TOWEL
AFTER I SHOWER.
456
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:47,518
NOW IT'S BACK TO ROLLING AROUND
LIKE A DOG ON THE BATHMAT.
457
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,387
I, UH, SHARE A BATHROOM
WITH YOUR MOM.
458
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,689
ON OCCASION, I'VE DRIED MYSELF
OFF WITH A Q-TIP.
459
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,659
YOU KNOW WHAT?
460
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:57,328
IT OCCURS TO ME,
AFTER HEARING THIS STORY,
461
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,163
THAT IF YOU REALLY WANTED
MANDY TO LEAVE,
462
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,566
ALL YOU HAD TO DO
WAS TO KEEP QUIET.
463
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,302
WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY?
I SCREWED UP.
464
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,703
DID YOU SCREW UP,
465
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,405
OR DO YOU REALLY LIKE
HAVING YOUR SISTER HERE?
466
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:10,575
BORROWING HER SWEATERS,
WATCHING STUPID TV SHOWS,
467
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:13,578
MAKING FUN OF HER
FOR WATCHING STUPID TV SHOWS.
468
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:17,114
THAT'S NOT ME. YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT YOURSELF, OLD MAN.
469
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,418
I DON'T BORROW HER SWEATERS,
470
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:24,155
EXCEPT THAT BLACK CASHMERE
WHICH GOES WITH EVERYTHING.
471
00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:27,692
LISTEN, HONEY,
JUST LIKE WHEN KRIS LEFT,
472
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,493
MANDY'S GONNA LEAVE,
473
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,762
AND I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA
TO APPRECIATE PEOPLE
474
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,564
WHILE THEY'RE STILL HERE.
475
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,603
UM...I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO'D MISS HER, DAD.
476
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,705
I THINK
WE'LL BOTH MISS HER.
477
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,974
I'M JUST THE ONE
THAT'LL SAY IT.
478
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,377
I CANNOT BELIEVE
THAT YOU BAILED ON ME
479
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,878
JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE AFRAID OF MY DAD.
480
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,615
IT IS NOT BECAUSE
I'M AFRAID OF YOUR DAD.
481
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,950
I just don't think
it's the right thing to do.
482
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,518
WHEN WE MOVE IN TOGETHER,
483
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,021
I WANT EVERYONE TO BE REALLY
HAPPY FOR US, ESPECIALLY ME.
484
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:02,193
AND I'M ALSO
AFRAID OF YOUR DAD.
485
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,195
HANG ON, KYLE.
486
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:05,763
YEAH, WHAT IS IT, SNOOP?
487
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,966
UM...
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
488
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,269
THAT I'M GLAD
YOU'RE NOT MOVING OUT
489
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:15,039
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
AND I'D MISS YOU.
490
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:19,777
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
KYLE: Mandy?
491
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,146
HELLO? ARE YOU OKAY?
492
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:26,951
UM...I'M OKAY,
BUT I THINK EVE MIGHT BE DYING.
37473
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