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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:04,203 "LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED 2 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,537 IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 3 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,139 OKAY, NOW I'M MAD. 4 00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,941 [ SIGHS ] MIKE, LET IT GO. 5 00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:11,276 RESTAURANTS HAVE TO IMPOSE SOME LIMITS 6 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,712 ON AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BRUNCH. 7 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,814 WELL, THEN IT'S NOT AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BRUNCH, 8 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,050 AND I KNOW THEY HAD MORE SMOKED SALMON IN THE BACK. 9 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,152 THIS IS WHAT I'M MAD ABOUT. GIRLS! 10 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,287 GIRLS! 11 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,392 ALL THE LIGHTS ARE ON, AND NOBODY'S HOME. 12 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:29,228 AND THIS TIME, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MANDY. 13 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,544 [ SIGHS ] 14 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,985 IT'S NOON, AND THESE GIRLS LEFT EVERY LIGHT ON IN THIS HOUSE. 15 00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:55,687 THIS PLACE IS MORE LIT THAN THE LOHAN FAMILY CHRISTMAS. 16 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,424 OR A LOHAN FAMILY TUESDAY. 17 00:00:58,426 --> 00:00:59,758 WE'RE LOSING THESE INCANDESCENTS. 18 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,260 THESE ARE VERY VALUABLE TO ME. 19 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,028 OH, HONEY, YOU GOT A MILLION OF THEM IN THE BASEMENT. 20 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,830 THAT'S RIGHT. 21 00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,098 I STOCKPILED THEM BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT MADE THEM ILLEGAL. 22 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,499 OH, YEAH. HERE WE GO. 23 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,334 YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT -- GOVERNMENT OVERREACH. 24 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,003 WELL, WHY IS IT THEIR JOB TO TELL ME WHAT BULBS I CAN USE? 25 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,905 WHAT'S NEXT? 26 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,440 MICHELLE OBAMA'S STOPPING BY SAYING YOU CAN'T EAT ICE CREAM. 27 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,041 [ Chuckling ] OH, LET HER TRY. 28 00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,544 HONEY, THESE NEW BULBS ARE MUCH MORE EFFICIENT. 29 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,412 I WOULD THINK YOU'D EMBRACE THAT. 30 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,848 I HAVE A 60-YEAR-OLD TRUCK AND A 30-YEAR-OLD MARRIAGE. 31 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,784 YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT I AM STUCK IN MY WAYS. 32 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,089 I DO LOVE THAT TRUCK. 33 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:33,192 -- Captions by VITAC -- 34 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,599 HEY, ANY IDEA WHERE MY 75-WATT BULBS WENT? 35 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,434 I DON'T HAVE AN IDEA... 36 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,004 BECAUSE I WOULD NEED A LIGHT BULB FOR THAT. 37 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,274 IF YOU FEEL A JOKE LIKE THAT COMING ON AGAIN, 38 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,811 PINCH YOURSELF SO WE'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES IN PAIN. 39 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,114 AREN'T THERE A TON OF BULBS IN THE BASEMENT? 40 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,815 THOSE ARE 60s AND 100 WATT. 41 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,485 I'M LOOKING FOR THAT PERFECT NOT TOO BRIGHT, NOT TOO DIM. 42 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:04,723 THE 75-WATT BULB IS LIKE THE GOLDILOCKS OF INCANDESCENTS. 43 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:09,094 SPEAKING OF GOLDILOCKS, I THINK SOMEBODY'S SITTING IN MY CHAIR. 44 00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:12,498 I WANTED A FRONT-ROW SEAT FOR THIS RIVETING LIGHT-BULB BANTER. 45 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,333 I GAVE A FEW TO CAROL LARABEE, 46 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,568 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WATTAGE THEY WERE, 47 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,338 BUT SHE WAS OVER HERE AND ADMIRED OUR BULBS. 48 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,141 SO, YOU JUST GIVE YOUR BULBS TO ANYBODY WHO OGLES THEM? 49 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,344 CAROL SAID CHUCK HATES THE CURLICUE ONES, 50 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,845 SO I LET HER TAKE A FEW BOXES. 51 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,947 I DIDN'T EVEN THINK YOU'D NOTICE THEY WERE GONE. 52 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,083 NOTICE THEY WERE GONE? I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT OUR KIDS. 53 00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:33,118 I'M TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT LIGHTS UP OUR HOME. 54 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,820 HEY, LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY. 55 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,822 OKAY, SO, YOU KNOW HOW I'VE BEEN MISSING MY MORNING CLASSES 56 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,590 'CAUSE I'M, LIKE, ALWAYS RUNNING LATE? 57 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,359 ACTUALLY, NO. 58 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,861 WELL, IT'S BECOME KIND OF A THING WITH MY T.A.s 59 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,831 AND MY PROFESSORS AND THIS ANGRY GUY NAMED DEAN. 60 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,033 ANYWAYS, PROBLEM SOLVED! 61 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,701 I FOUND AN APARTMENT CLOSER TO CAMPUS. 62 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,770 WHAT? YOU'RE MOVING OUT? 63 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,006 YEAH. YES! MY OWN BATHROOM! 64 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,641 MANDY, THIS IS SO SUDDEN. 65 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,509 YES. [ SIGHS ] 66 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,012 LOSING MANDY WILL BE ROUGH, BUT WE'LL HAVE TO WORK THROUGH IT. 67 00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,514 LISTEN, IF YOU PUT A WHEELBARROW UNDER YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW, 68 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,383 I'LL START CHUCKING OUT SHOES. 69 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,118 I KNOW THAT THIS SEEMS A LITTLE OUT OF THE BLUE, 70 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,519 BUT I'VE THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT IT, 71 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,288 AND I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT. 72 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,557 LIKE FIRST AND LAST MONTHS' RENT? THAT KIND OF SUPPORT? 73 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,058 FATHER, I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY. 74 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,860 I HAVE MY OWN CLOTHING BUSINESS, REMEMBER? 75 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,395 I'M TALKING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT HERE. 76 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,896 OH, GOOD. THAT'S YOUR MOM'S AREA. 77 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,565 ALL RIGHT. WE-- UH, MANDY, HONEY, CAN WE, UH -- 78 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,300 CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A MINUTE? 79 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,802 LOOK, I HAVE TO MOVE FAST. EVERYBODY WANTS THIS PLACE. 80 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,705 AN OLD LADY DIED IN THERE, SO IT COMES WITH CATS. 81 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,977 WOW. HONEY, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE LOSING DAUGHTER NUMBER TWO. 82 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,245 JUST CHRONOLOGICALLY. 83 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,147 HER RANKING IS SOMEWHAT LOWER THAN THAT. 84 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:37,583 MAYBE IF I HEAD OVER TO THE LARABEES', 85 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,351 I CAN GET THOSE 75-WATT BULBS BACK. 86 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,353 MM. YOU KNOW, I GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS DAY COMING. 87 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,422 YOU PUSHED IT ALONG. WHAT -- WHAT DID I DO? 88 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,225 YOU GAVE CAROL LARABEE ALL THOSE LIGHT BULBS. 89 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,493 OH, YOU'RE STILL ON THE MANDY THING? 90 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:49,661 [ SIGHS ] 91 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,563 RIGHT, RIGHT. MY BAD. 92 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,999 I FORGOT THERE WERE TWO LIFE-CHANGING LOSSES 93 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,267 THAT HIT US TODAY. 94 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,902 [ CHUCKLES ] 95 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,738 THREE IF YOU COUNT THAT SMOKED-SALMON NIGHTMARE. 96 00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,477 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 97 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,683 NOW WE KNOW HOW MANY MIDDLE-AGED WHITE DUDES 98 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,752 IT TAKES TO STEAL A LIGHT BULB. 99 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,255 I NEED MY OTHER 75s BACK. 100 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,290 [ CHUCKLES ] VANESSA GAVE US THOSE BULBS. 101 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,525 IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR PROBLEM IS WITH YOUR WIFE. 102 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,961 IF YOU ONLY KNEW. 103 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:27,032 Ed: CHUCK, THIRD PERIOD IS STARTING! 104 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,634 ED? 105 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,636 MIKEY. 106 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,771 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? EBONY AND ELDERLY? 107 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:38,110 ED WANTED TO COME OVER AND WATCH THE HOCKEY GAME. 108 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,145 TURNS OUT HE'S A BIG AVALANCHE FAN. 109 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,881 OF COURSE HE IS. HE'S ALL WHITE AND EVERYTHING'S SLIDING DOWN. 110 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,383 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 111 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,486 SEE, THAT'S WHY WE DIDN'T INVITE YOU. 112 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,288 GO AHEAD. MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. 113 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,424 [ SIGHS ] STILL WARM. 114 00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:55,494 LISTEN, I CAN ONLY STAY UNTIL THE FIRST FIGHT. 115 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,397 THEN I'M LEAVING WITH THE REST OF MY 75s. 116 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,465 YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY LIGHT BULBS, BAXTER. 117 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,668 EVERYBODY HATES THESE NEWFANGLED BULBS. NO KIDDING. 118 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,504 MAKES EVEN THE COZIEST HOME LOOK LIKE COUNTY LOCKUP. 119 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,340 I CAN'T HAVE THOSE CFL LIGHTS IN MY HOUSE. 120 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:12,444 T-THE BLUISH CAST IS UNFLATTERING TO MY COMPLEXION. 121 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,080 THOSE PANTS AREN'T DOING YOU ANY FAVOR, EITHER. 122 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,351 YOU KNOW WHAT LIGHTING YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN RIGHT NOW? 123 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,920 WHATEVER'S ON OVER AT YOUR PLACE. 124 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,423 YOU KNOW, I BLAME YOUR BUDDY IN THE HALF-WHITE HOUSE 125 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,757 FOR THIS STUFF. 126 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,693 HIS HOPE AND CHANGE IS, 127 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:30,362 "I HOPE TO CHANGE EVERY BULB IN AMERICA." 128 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,864 IT WAS ACTUALLY YOUR BOY "W" 129 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,267 WHO SIGNED THE LIGHT-BULB LEGISLATION. 130 00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,302 I BELIEVE IT WAS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 131 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,172 "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" AND "MISUNDERESTIMATED." 132 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,377 OKAY. IF YOU TWO HENS WILL JUST STOP CLUCKING FOR A MOMENT HERE, 133 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:48,213 I CAN HOOK YOU UP WITH SOME OLD-SCHOOL BULBS. 134 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,715 YEP. I KNOW A GUY. 135 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,516 HIS NAME WAS THOMAS EDISON. 136 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,620 HE USED ED'S HEAD AS THE MODEL FOR THE LIGHT BULB. 137 00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,723 YOU WANT THE ADDRESS OR NOT? 138 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,458 SERIOUSLY? YOU -- YOU -- YOU KNOW WHERE 139 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,460 WE CAN SCORE SOME CONTRABAND INCANDESCENTS? 140 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,828 MM-HMM. 141 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,897 NAME IS CHUEY. ASK FOR RIPE STRAWBERRIES. 142 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,800 WHAT IF HE GIVES US STRAWBERRIES? 143 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,069 THAT WOULD BE WEIRD BECAUSE IT'S A HARDWARE STORE. 144 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,512 THERE YOU GO. 145 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:23,248 WHOA. I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH THE PLACE. 146 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,083 WELL, YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION. 147 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,085 ACTUALLY, NO. USE MY IMAGINATION. 148 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,553 I HAVE WAY BETTER TASTE. 149 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,256 OKAY. SO, I'M THINKING, LIKE, A COUCH GOES HERE, 150 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,191 A FLOOR LAMP GOES, LIKE, THERE. 151 00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,227 KYLE, GO BE THE LAMP, HUH? 152 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:39,231 OH, UM, A LITTLE TO THE LEFT, ACTUALLY. 153 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,767 A LITTLE TO THE LEFT. 154 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,068 WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING? 155 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,470 I'M A LAMP, SILLY. [ CHUCKLES ] 156 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,275 LAMPS CAN'T MOVE. I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING. 157 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,677 RYAN, GO BE THE LAMP. 158 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,012 Wow. 159 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,349 ALL RIGHT. COOL. I GET TO BE RYAN. 160 00:06:57,351 --> 00:07:00,619 ALL RIGHT. I'M FROM CANADA. 161 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,054 I HATE MEAT. MY HAIR NEVER MOVES. 162 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,623 [ LAUGHS ] 163 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,091 OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT, KYLE? 164 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,759 GO RUN TO THE CAR AND GET THE TAPE MEASURE. 165 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,960 WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT IF YOUR BED CAN FIT THROUGH THE DOOR. 166 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,562 RIGHT. UH, HOLD UP. 167 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,631 THE LAMP HAS A QUESTION. YES. 168 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,734 WHY IS KYLE'S BED MOVING IN TO YOUR APARTMENT? 169 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,236 BECAUSE IF HE'S PAYING HALF THE RENT, 170 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,305 HE DESERVES A PLACE TO SLEEP. 171 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,808 NOW CAN I TELL RYAN THAT YOU TWO ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER? 172 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,144 OH, MY GOD. YOU BETTER SO HE CAN FOLLOW WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. 173 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,079 YEAH, NO. THAT'S OKAY. 174 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,649 I'VE CONNECTED THE INCREDIBLY CLOSE-TOGETHER DOTS. THANK YOU. 175 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:33,151 ANYWAY, UH, CONGRATS. I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS. 176 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,586 THANK YOU. 177 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:35,987 AND IN A WAY, I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, 178 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,823 I DESERVE A LITTLE CREDIT. WHY IS THAT? 179 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,891 WELL, IT'S HARD TO PICTURE MIKE BEING COOL 180 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,493 WITH YOU GUYS LIVING TOGETHER 181 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,495 IF, YOU KNOW, I HADN'T PAVED THE WAY WITH KRISTIN. 182 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:47,132 YEAH, IT WOULD BE HARD TO PICTURE THAT. 183 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,567 UM... 184 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,735 YOU KNOW, IF HE KNEW. 185 00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,805 WAIT. MIKE DOESN'T KNOW? 186 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,475 NOW CAN I TELL RYAN THAT DAD DOESN'T KNOW? 187 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,911 [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD. THIS IS HUGE. 188 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,179 A HUGE MISTAKE, OKAY? 189 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,681 I KEEP TELLING HER THERE IS NO WAY 190 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,749 SHE'S GONNA BE ABLE TO FOOL MOM AND DAD ABOUT THIS. 191 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:07,152 AND GUESS WHO'S SUDDENLY NOT THE WORST BAXTER BOYFRIEND. 192 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,753 THIS LAMP. 193 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:12,190 OH, OKAY. NO. NO. IT -- IT -- NO. IT'S NOT FUNNY. 194 00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,892 NO. BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY HILARIOUS. 195 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,661 WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME TELL MIKE? 196 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,497 NO. WAIT. HE'LL PROBABLY KILL THE MESSENGER. 197 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,765 JUST LET ME BE IN THE ROOM WHEN YOU TELL HIM. NO. WAIT. 198 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,502 HE'LL PROBABLY KILL ME STILL 'CAUSE HE CAN'T KILL YOU. 199 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,370 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST FILM IT. NO. 200 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,974 I PLAN TO TELL MOM AND DAD AFTER KYLE AND I ARE ALL SETTLED IN. 201 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,109 OH, I ALSO MIGHT TAKE IN AN ORPHAN 202 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,879 SO THEY'LL REALLY LOOK LIKE JERKS IF THEY TRY TO STOP US. 203 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,614 THE WAY THAT KYLE WORSHIPS MIKE, 204 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,649 I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S GOING ALONG WITH THIS. 205 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,618 GOING ALONG WITH WHAT? 206 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,453 NOW CAN KRISTIN TELL ME 207 00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:44,022 THAT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD KYLE THAT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD MIKE? 208 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,194 HE'S SURE GOT A LOT TO SAY FOR A LAMP. 209 00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:58,303 OH, I DON'T SEE ANY OF THE GOOD STUFF. 210 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,573 THEY'RE NOT GONNA HAVE THE FRESH STRAWBERRIES OUT IN THE OPEN. 211 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,376 I FIGURED A GUY LIKE YOU MORE STREET SMART THAN THAT. 212 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,711 IF I WAS, I WOULDN'T HAVE MOVED ONTO YOUR STREET. 213 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,580 FINDING EVERYTHING OKAY? 214 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,148 YEAH, WE'RE, UM -- 215 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:14,219 WE'RE LOOKING FOR, UH, INCANDESCENT BULBS, 75 WATTS. 216 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,055 SIR, INCANDESCENTS BETWEEN 40 AND 100 WATTS 217 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,225 ARE NO LONGER LEGALLY SOLD ON U.S. SOIL... 218 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,427 UNLESS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A THREE-WAY. 219 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,564 WE'RE BOTH MARRIED MEN. 220 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,766 WE'RE JUST LOOKING FOR LIGHT BULBS. 221 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,834 ED ALZATE SENT US. 222 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,704 WE'RE HERE TO SPEAK TO CHUEY ABOUT SOME, UH... 223 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,774 SOME RIPE STRAWBERRIES. 224 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,576 WAIT HERE. 225 00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,579 SEE? 226 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,713 HONEY? 227 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,582 VANESSA? 228 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,883 VANESSA, HEY, HEY. 229 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:45,951 OH, HI, CHUCK. HI. 230 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,452 HI, VANESSA. HI. HOW ARE YOU? 231 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,287 WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE HARDWARE STORE? 232 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,056 I'M REGISTERED HERE! 233 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,891 YOU COULD FIND A NICE CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR ME. 234 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,627 YEAH, NOTHING SAYS "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS," 235 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,630 LIKE A BOX OF NAILS. 236 00:09:58,632 --> 00:09:59,965 ACTUALLY, I'M LOOKING FOR PAINT. 237 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,466 WHEN MANDY MOVES OUT, 238 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,034 I FIGURE WE'D TURN HER ROOM INTO MY OFFICE. 239 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,771 I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD TURN IT INTO...A WEIGHT ROOM. 240 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,940 COME ON, MIKE. ONE OF US SHOULD GET SOME USE OUT OF THAT ROOM. 241 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,175 [ CHUCKLES ] 242 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,913 SO, WHAT, ARE YOU HERE FOR YOUR PRECIOUS BULBS? 243 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,615 DON'T SAY ANYTHING. SHE'S PROBABLY WEARING A WIRE. 244 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,484 ALL RIGHT. WELL, TRY NOT TO GET ARRESTED. 245 00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,052 YEAH, BUT IF YOU DO, 246 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,189 I HEAR THEY HAVE A NICE WEIGHT ROOM IN PRISON. 247 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,228 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING CHUEY. 248 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,796 I'M CHUEY. [ CHUCKLES ] 249 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,799 ED SAYS YOU TWO CHECK OUT. I CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL. 250 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,969 YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE A PAIR OF COPS FROM AN '80s MOVIE. 251 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,271 YEAH, YEAH. 252 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:45,076 I'M THE LOOSE CANNON, 'CAUSE I DO THINGS MY OWN WAY. 253 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:49,914 HE'S "BY THE BOOK." SEE, HE'S TOO OLD FOR THIS CRAP. 254 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:53,084 SPEAKING OF GETTING TOO OLD, DO YOU HAVE THE BERRIES OR NOT? 255 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,453 THE MERCHANDISE IS IN MY VAN. 256 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,522 MEET ME IN THE ALLEY IN HALF AN HOUR. 257 00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,858 OH, COME ON. 258 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:02,961 I AM GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS CRAP. 259 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,697 I'M GOING TO A LOT OF TROUBLE TO MAKE YOU LOOK PRETTY. 260 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,273 CRAZY-ASS WORLD. 261 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,709 MARIJUANA IS LEGAL, 262 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,145 AND HERE WE ARE WAITING IN AN ALLEY LIKE CRIMINALS 263 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,113 TO BUY A DECENT LIGHT BULB. 264 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,982 YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE 265 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:27,218 THIS IS THE ONLY TIME YOU'VE EVER DONE BUSINESS IN AN ALLEY? 266 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,486 OF COURSE NOT. 267 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,188 YOU KNOW, I DO MOST OF MY SHOPPING HERE. 268 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,524 IT'S WHERE I GET MY PIMP CHALICES 269 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,526 AND MUSTARD-COLORED SUITS. 270 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,030 SO, VANESSA SAID MANDY'S MOVING OUT. 271 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,665 LOOKS THAT WAY. MM. 272 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,367 WHAT'S A PIMP CHALICE? 273 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,402 ABOUT $40. 274 00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,005 IS SHE STAYING IN TOWN? 275 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,239 NO, NO. 276 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,308 SOMETHING CLOSE ENOUGH TO CAMPUS 277 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,576 AND FAR ENOUGH AWAY FROM US 278 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,545 THAT SHE CAN MOVE IN WITH HER BOYFRIEND. 279 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,213 OH. [ CHUCKLES ] 280 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,749 I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE WHEN SHE TOLD YOU THAT. 281 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,651 SHE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT. I FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF. 282 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,086 I MEAN, KYLE'S GONNA BE THERE 24/7. 283 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,587 SHE'S SMART ENOUGH TO CHARGE THE GUY RENT. 284 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,723 SO, WELL -- WELL, LET'S BREAK THIS DOWN. 285 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,925 YOU GOT ONE KID SHACKING UP, 286 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:10,061 ANOTHER WITH A BABY DADDY, AND A THIRD PLAYING FOOTBALL. 287 00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:14,632 YOUR FAMILY'S BLACKER THAN MINE, BAXTER. 288 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,174 MAYBE I SHOULD BORROW THAT PIMP CHALICE. 289 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,243 80 BUCKS, AND YOU CAN OWN IT. 290 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,778 [ CHUCKLES ] 291 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,180 SO, HOW YOU DOING WITH THIS WHOLE MANDY BUSINESS? 292 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,083 WELL, I'M WAITING IN AN ALLEY FOR A GUY NAMED CHUEY, 293 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,786 SO I GUESS I'M STILL FIGURING IT OUT. 294 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:37,122 I SEE. SO YOU WENT LOOKING FOR SOME SAGE ADVICE 295 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,357 FROM YOUR MUCH SMARTER FRIEND CHUCK LARABEE. 296 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,359 WELL, I WAS HOPING TO GET ADVICE FROM THE LIGHT-BULB GUY, 297 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,961 BUT HE'S JUST TAKING TOO LONG. 298 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,931 ON THE ONE HAND, I COULD WRECK THIS WHOLE THING WITH MANDY 299 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,067 AND MAKE KYLE'S LIFE A LIVING HELL. 300 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,401 AND ON THE OTHER HAND...? 301 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,670 OH, I'M STILL ENJOYING THAT FIRST HAND. 302 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,808 IF I GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, 303 00:12:56,810 --> 00:13:00,879 I END UP LOSING MANDY AND MY WEIGHT ROOM. 304 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,381 [ SIGHS ] KIDS GROW UP, MAN. THEY DO WHAT THEY WANT. 305 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,983 YEAH. 306 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,720 YOU KNOW, BRANDON WANTS TO GO TO FLORIDA STATE NEXT YEAR. 307 00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,089 YOUNG BLACK MAN WALKING AROUND FLORIDA? 308 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,824 I DON'T THINK SO. 309 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,893 PLUS IT'S A LOUSY SCHOOL. 310 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,661 YEAH. MAYBE HE'LL WISE UP. 311 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,930 NOT AT FLORIDA STATE, HE WON'T. 312 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,500 LIFE'S CHANGING WAY TOO FAST FOR ME, BAXTER. 313 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,135 I HEAR YOU. 314 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,970 [ VEHICLE APPROACHES ] 315 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,107 WELL, THERE'S AN OLD VAN. IT'S GOT TO BE HIM. 316 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,675 [ SIGHS ] 317 00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,076 [ VAN DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] IF WE GET BUSTED, 318 00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,412 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA TELL MY WIFE. 319 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,816 IF WE GET BUSTED, YOU'RE GONNA BE SOMEBODY ELSE'S WIFE. 320 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,292 DAD? 321 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,928 WELL, HE'S NOT HERE, SO WE CAN COME BACK ANOTHER TIME. SEE? 322 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,296 [ CHUCKLES ] 323 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,364 NO. OKAY. WE'RE GONNA WAIT FOR HIM. 324 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,466 I'M NOT COMFORTABLE GOING THROUGH WITH THIS 325 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,001 UNTIL I KNOW IT'S OKAY WITH MR. B. 326 00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:00,004 FINE. OKAY. I'M GONNA GO GRAB A SWEATER. 327 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,407 I LIKED YOU BETTER AS A LAMP. 328 00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:07,712 WELL, WELL, WELL. 329 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,314 OH, HI, EVE. 330 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:12,984 I HEARD A LOT OF NERVOUS CHITTER-CHAT. 331 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,720 WHAT'S THE MYSTERY, SHAGGY? 332 00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:18,823 UH, YEAH, MANDY AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK TO YOUR DAD ABOUT, 333 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,892 BUT I REALLY SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT HER. 334 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,061 IT'S TOO BAD, 'CAUSE I WAS KIND OF HOPING 335 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,663 WE COULD DO THIS THE EASY WAY. [ CHUCKLES ] 336 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,399 TAKE A SEAT. WE MIGHT BE HERE A WHILE. 337 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,535 YEAH. OKAY. 338 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,605 UH, MANDY DOES TAKE A LONG TIME TO PICK OUT A SWEATER. 339 00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:38,576 OH, HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 340 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,312 I WAS JUST -- UH, JUST THINKING OF PAINTING YOUR ROOM. 341 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,348 WHEN YOU'RE GONE, I THOUGHT THIS COULD EITHER BE 342 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,717 MY OFFICE OR YOUR DAD'S WEIGHT ROOM. 343 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:49,254 SO WE'LL COMPROMISE, AND IT'LL BE YOUR DAD'S WEIGHT ROOM. 344 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,424 UNLESS YOU'VE CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT MOVING. 345 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,560 Mandy: SORRY, MOM. IT'S TIME. 346 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,363 BUT DON'T WORRY. THIS WILL ALWAYS BE MY HOME. 347 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,265 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT. 348 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,267 YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S -- THAT'S EXACTLY 349 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,769 WHAT I SAID TO MY PARENTS WHEN I LEFT FOR OHIO STATE. 350 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,905 YEAH, I-I TOLD MY MOM THAT I'D BE BACK, 351 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:09,874 THAT, UH -- THAT OUR FAMILY HOME WOULD ALWAYS BE MY HOME, 352 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,176 BUT, UM...YOU KNOW WHAT? 353 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,112 I NEVER LIVED THERE AGAIN. 354 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,614 OH, I DON'T KNOW. YOU MIGHT GO BACK, MOM. 355 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,686 NO. IT'S A PIZZA HUT NOW, SO... 356 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,522 NO. WON'T GO BACK. YEAH. 357 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,090 [ CHUCKLES ] 358 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,725 MY LITTLE MANDY. 359 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,928 GOSH, MY LITTLE MANDY MOVING OUT. 360 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,963 REMEMBER WHEN I BOUGHT YOU THIS? 361 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:32,931 MM-HMM. 362 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,866 YOUR FIRST BIG-GIRL BED, HUH? 363 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,434 I ALSO REMEMBER BUYING YOU 364 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,037 THAT -- THAT FUZZY PINK COMFORTER THAT WENT WITH IT. 365 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,705 YEAH. I REMEMBER. 366 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:44,943 THAT'S THE FIRST TIME YOU USED THE WORD "RECEIPT." 367 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:50,882 MOM, I'M SORRY IF I WAS A PAIN. 368 00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:54,252 MOMMY. 369 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,987 YOU ARE NOT A PAIN. 370 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,121 [ CHUCKLES ] 371 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,122 AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE? 372 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,757 WHAT? 373 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:03,962 I LOVE HOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT 374 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,397 AND YOU ARE NOT AFRAID TO GO GET IT. 375 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,400 THANKS. 376 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:13,171 BUT, UM...I HAVE TO ADMIT, I AM -- 377 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,573 I AM A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT YOU LIVING OUT THERE ALONE. 378 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,409 GOSH, I'D ALMOST FEEL BETTER IF YOU HAD A-A DOG 379 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:22,580 OR A ROOMMATE OR, UM -- OR EVEN KYLE LIVING THERE WITH YOU. 380 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,648 KYLE. YEAH. 381 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,850 THAT'S SO CRAZY. [ CHUCKLES ] 382 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,586 THAT'S LIKE A TOTALLY CRAZY, OUT-THERE IDEA. 383 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:29,487 YEAH. 384 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,022 WHAT? 385 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:34,192 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN WRONG BEFORE. 386 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,095 I, UM -- OH, EXCEPT REGARDING THAT COMFORTER. 387 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,863 YEAH. OH, WHAT AM I SAYING? 388 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,366 OH, MY GOD. YOUR FATHER WOULD GO BALLISTIC. 389 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,668 UM, BUT HE WOULD PROBABLY GET OVER IT EVENTUALLY, RIGHT? 390 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,537 OH, WELL, MAYBE, BUT KYLE WOULD BE DEAD BY THEN, 391 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,774 SO I -- WHAT'S THE POINT, RIGHT? 392 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,309 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. 393 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,744 [ SMOOCHES ] YEAH. 394 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,513 COME ON, KYLE. 395 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,683 YOU'RE NOT A SNEAKY, SECRET-KEEPING GUY. 396 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,985 YOU'LL FEEL BETTER GETTING THIS OFF YOUR CHEST. 397 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:04,489 YOU'RE RIGHT. I-I DON'T LIKE LYING TO PEOPLE. 398 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,058 AND -- AND IT HAS BEEN WEIGHING ON ME. 399 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:11,729 HERE IT COMES -- THE SWEET SONG OF THE CANARY. 400 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,731 MANDY AND I ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER. 401 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:16,801 WHOA. [ CHUCKLES ] NOW I NEED TO SIT DOWN. 402 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,903 YEAH. 403 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,205 I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT TELLING MR. B. 404 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,641 I MEAN, HE'S GOT A SUPER-HIGH OPINION OF ME. 405 00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,845 WELL, YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED. 406 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,548 I MEAN, MY DAD THINKS YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO WOULD BUY THE COW 407 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,518 RATHER THAN TRYING TO GET THE MILK FOR FREE. 408 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,587 YEAH. I-I DON'T REALLY WANT A COW, 409 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,724 BUT I GUESS IF ONE NEEDED A HOME... 410 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,428 HE'S GONNA BE REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. 411 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,930 HE REALLY THINKS YOU'RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES. 412 00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,398 I AM. 413 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,866 AT LEAST, I WAS. 414 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,768 Mandy: ALL RIGHT, KYLE. LET'S GO. 415 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,604 WE CAN TALK TO MY DAD ANOTHER TIME, LIKE IN A YEAR. 416 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:54,872 WELL, WHAT'S THE HURRY? 417 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,041 DON'T YOU WANT TO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS? 418 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,443 WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS? 419 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,778 THESE TWO ARE PLANNING TO SHACK UP. 420 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,780 ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU TOLD HER? 421 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,416 WAIT. YOU AND KYLE ARE LIVING TOGETHER? 422 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,019 YEAH, IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE SUCH A GOOD IDEA WHEN YOU SUGGESTED IT. 423 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,455 TWO MINUTES AGO? 424 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,623 YEAH. IT WAS THAT GOOD. 425 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,961 ACTUALLY, MANDY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 426 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:22,100 EVE GOT ME THINKING, AND...I CAN'T MOVE IN WITH YOU. 427 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,701 I'M SORRY. 428 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,905 WOW. 429 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,608 THAT WAS A REALLY ROTTEN THING TO DO, EVE. 430 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,144 YOU GOT KYLE THINKING. 431 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:45,490 SO, LONG STORY SHORT, MANDY HAD THIS SNEAKY PLAN, 432 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,392 BUT THEN EVE MADE KYLE FEEL GUILTY AND HE BAILED. 433 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,128 SO I GUESS YOU WON'T BE GETTING YOUR WEIGHT ROOM. 434 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,562 WELL, SINCE IT DIDN'T WORK OUT, 435 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,264 YOU CAN NOW USE THE SPACE FOR YOUR OFFICE. 436 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,365 AH. 437 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,270 YOU KNOW, I HATED TO THINK OF MANDY LEAVING. 438 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,005 HONEY, SHE CAN'T LIVE HERE FOREVER. 439 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,674 ALTHOUGH, WHEN WE SAW HER TEST SCORES FROM GRADE SCHOOL, 440 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,576 WE THOUGHT MAYBE... 441 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,313 WE CAN'T FIGHT CHANGE, BABE. 442 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,149 WELL, YOU DID. I MEAN, YOU GOT YOUR INCANDESCENTS. 443 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,950 THIS IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME. 444 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,786 CHUEY SAYS THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF INCANDESCENTS. WHO'S CHUEY? 445 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,789 A METAPHOR FOR EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA. 446 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,424 [ SIGHS ] 447 00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:23,661 WELL, IRONICALLY, EVE IS THE ONE WHO WANTED MANDY GONE, 448 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,830 AND SHE'S THE ONE WHO BLEW IT UP. 449 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,799 SHE REALLY SHOT HERSELF IN THE FOOT. 450 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,635 I DON'T THINK SO. 451 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,737 SHE'S A BETTER SHOT THAN THAT. 452 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:38,376 SO, SOUNDS LIKE YOU'LL BE SHARING A BATHROOM AGAIN, HUH? 453 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,443 YEAH. 454 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,978 I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD 455 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,314 TO HAVING A DRY TOWEL AFTER I SHOWER. 456 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:47,518 NOW IT'S BACK TO ROLLING AROUND LIKE A DOG ON THE BATHMAT. 457 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,387 I, UH, SHARE A BATHROOM WITH YOUR MOM. 458 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,689 ON OCCASION, I'VE DRIED MYSELF OFF WITH A Q-TIP. 459 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,659 YOU KNOW WHAT? 460 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:57,328 IT OCCURS TO ME, AFTER HEARING THIS STORY, 461 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,163 THAT IF YOU REALLY WANTED MANDY TO LEAVE, 462 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,566 ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS TO KEEP QUIET. 463 00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,302 WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY? I SCREWED UP. 464 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,703 DID YOU SCREW UP, 465 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,405 OR DO YOU REALLY LIKE HAVING YOUR SISTER HERE? 466 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:10,575 BORROWING HER SWEATERS, WATCHING STUPID TV SHOWS, 467 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:13,578 MAKING FUN OF HER FOR WATCHING STUPID TV SHOWS. 468 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:17,114 THAT'S NOT ME. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF, OLD MAN. 469 00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,418 I DON'T BORROW HER SWEATERS, 470 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:24,155 EXCEPT THAT BLACK CASHMERE WHICH GOES WITH EVERYTHING. 471 00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:27,692 LISTEN, HONEY, JUST LIKE WHEN KRIS LEFT, 472 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,493 MANDY'S GONNA LEAVE, 473 00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,762 AND I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO APPRECIATE PEOPLE 474 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,564 WHILE THEY'RE STILL HERE. 475 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,603 UM...I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'D MISS HER, DAD. 476 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,705 I THINK WE'LL BOTH MISS HER. 477 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,974 I'M JUST THE ONE THAT'LL SAY IT. 478 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,377 I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU BAILED ON ME 479 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,878 JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF MY DAD. 480 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,615 IT IS NOT BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF YOUR DAD. 481 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,950 I just don't think it's the right thing to do. 482 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,518 WHEN WE MOVE IN TOGETHER, 483 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,021 I WANT EVERYONE TO BE REALLY HAPPY FOR US, ESPECIALLY ME. 484 00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:02,193 AND I'M ALSO AFRAID OF YOUR DAD. 485 00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,195 HANG ON, KYLE. 486 00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:05,763 YEAH, WHAT IS IT, SNOOP? 487 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,966 UM... I JUST WANTED TO SAY 488 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,269 THAT I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT MOVING OUT 489 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:15,039 BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I'D MISS YOU. 490 00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:19,777 [ DOOR CLOSES ] KYLE: Mandy? 491 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,146 HELLO? ARE YOU OKAY? 492 00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:26,951 UM...I'M OKAY, BUT I THINK EVE MIGHT BE DYING. 37473

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