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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:04,303 "LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED" 2 00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:06,972 IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 3 00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:08,207 WHAT'S UP, HONEY? 4 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,876 UGH. CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S ANOTHER KARDASHIAN? 5 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,312 LOOK AT THIS. 6 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,646 IT'S LIKE CARS -- 7 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,281 THEY COME OUT WITH A NEW MODEL EVERY YEAR. 8 00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:21,620 I BET SHE'S GOT THAT NEW KARDASHIAN SMELL. 9 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,122 HONEY, I HATE HOW, AS WOMEN, 10 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:27,059 WE'RE EITHER OBJECTS OF DESIRE OR DOMESTIC SERVANTS. 11 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:31,497 I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE. ANYWAY, WHEN'S DINNER, TOOTS? 12 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,665 LUCKY ME. I'M BOTH. 13 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,002 HEY. MUST BE DINNER. LOOK WHO SHOWED UP. 14 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,003 HA HA. 15 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,671 HA HA. NO, WE JUST CAME TO GET BOYD. 16 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,340 HOLD ON. 17 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,142 WHAT ARE YOU HAVING? [ CHUCKLES ] 18 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:45,310 HEY, THANKS FOR PICKING UP BOYD FROM SCHOOL, MOM. 19 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,545 YEAH. HE'S UPSTAIRS NAPPING. 20 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,180 HONEY, I THINK HE'S COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING. 21 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:49,848 WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING? 22 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,083 WHAT'S HE DOING IN THE HOUSE? 23 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,685 OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER, MIKE? YOU AFRAID OF A LITTLE BOY? 24 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,354 THIS FROM THE GUY THAT TOOK ONE LOOK AT HIM 25 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:56,622 AND LEFT FOR THREE YEARS? 26 00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:00,859 I DON'T THINK -- AAH, AAH, AAH. 27 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,862 [ Weakly ] MOMMY, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD. 28 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:07,399 OHH, YOU HAVE SPOTS AND A FEVER. 29 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,201 UH-OH. COME HERE. COME HERE. STOP SCRATCHING. 30 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,869 NO, NO, THIS IS LOOKING LIKE CHICKEN POX. 31 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:13,872 [ Chuckling ] GREAT. 32 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,074 I'VE ALREADY HAD 'EM. 33 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:18,043 SO HAVE I, 34 00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:19,945 AND THE GIRLS HAVE ALL HAD THEIR VACCINATIONS. 35 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:22,414 UH, WELL, I'VE NEVER HAD THEM, AND I'VE NEVER BEEN VACCINATED. 36 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,416 UH, O-OKAY, I'M GONNA GET BOYD BACK TO BED. 37 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,051 YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. 38 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,386 SHE'S RIGHT. CHICKEN POX ARE MUCH WORSE FOR ADULTS. 39 00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:28,554 SO GO. GO, GO, GO. 40 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,389 DON'T YOU WANT TO LICK YOUR KID GOODBYE? 41 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,891 HEY, BABE, I'M JUST GONNA WAIT OUTSIDE, OKAY? 42 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,227 OKAY. IT'S GONNA BE TERRIBLE IN HERE WITHOUT YOU. 43 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,230 [ DOOR CLOSES ] NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S GONNA... 44 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:40,766 WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH BOYD? HE'S ALL, LIKE, BROKEN OUT. 45 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,867 CHICKEN POX. THANK GOD. 46 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,702 FOR A SECOND, I THOUGHT HE HAD ACNE. 47 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,271 I CANNOT AFFORD TO CATCH THAT. 48 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,240 I DON'T THINK ACNE IS CONTAGIOUS, HONEY. 49 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,575 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 50 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,376 NOBODY WENT NEAR THE KIDS WHO HAD IT IN HIGH SCHOOL. 51 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,412 THEY WERE ALL TREATED LIKE LEOPARDS. 52 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,247 YOU MEAN LEPERS? 53 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,248 THE "D" IS SILENT? 54 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,484 OH, I NEVER KNEW THAT. [ GIGGLES ] 55 00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,219 HEY, UH, SO, SINCE RYAN IS SUSCEPTIBLE, 56 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,420 IT MIGHT BE BETTER 57 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,122 IF BOYD AND I STAYED HERE FOR THE NEXT FEW NIGHTS. 58 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,224 NO, KRIS, JUST BRING HIM HOME, ALL RIGHT? 59 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,425 I'LL STAY AWAY FROM HIM. 60 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:07,559 NO, YOU'LL CATCH IT, OKAY? 61 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,928 OUR APARTMENT WILL BE LIKE A PETRI DISH. 62 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,664 PETRI DISH HAS MORE SQUARE FOOTAGE THAN YOUR APARTMENT. 63 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,833 HONEY, I KEEP WONDERING HOW BOYD CAUGHT THIS. RIGHT. 64 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,102 I MEAN, HE'S HAD ALL HIS VACCINATIONS, RIGHT? 65 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,771 THAT VACCINE IS NOT 100% EFFECTIVE. 66 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:20,772 WELL, THAT'S TRUE. 67 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,007 WELL, MAYBE IT'S NOT CHICKEN POX. 68 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,343 MAYBE IT'S SOME WEIRD ARMADILLO POX HE GOT 69 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,578 FROM ONE OF THOSE UNDOCUMENTEDS AT HIS SCHOOL. 70 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,013 MORE LIKELY HE GOT IT 71 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,349 BECAUSE SOME SELFISH PARENT FIGURED, 72 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,683 "ALL THE OTHER KIDS HAVE GOT THEIR SHOTS, 73 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:32,784 SO WHY BOTHER?" 74 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,787 OR A THOUGHTFUL, WELL-INFORMED PARENT 75 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,289 WHO KNOWS THAT VACCINES COULD ACTUALLY 76 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,925 MAKE HER CHILD SICKER THAN THE DISEASE. 77 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:42,794 THAT'S RIGHT. 78 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,830 I MADE THE CHOICE NOT TO VACCINATE BOYD. 79 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,698 YOU WHAT?! YOU DID WHAT?! 80 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,501 NO, SERIOUSLY, SPEAK UP. 81 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,304 I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING THROUGH THE GLASS. 82 00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:56,275 -- Captions by VITAC -- 83 00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,479 WAIT A MINUTE, KRIS. 84 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,347 YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU GOT THAT BOY VACCINATED A LONG TIME AGO. 85 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,448 WELL, I LIED, OKAY? 86 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:04,950 I TOOK HIM TO GET ICE CREAM INSTEAD. 87 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,985 SO YOU'RE THUMBING YOUR NOSE AT DIABETES, TOO? 88 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,321 GOOD. GREAT PARENTING. 89 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,556 THEN IT'S NOT JUST VARICELLA. 90 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:14,893 HE DIDN'T GET HIS DTaP, HEP B, HIB, MMR, PCV. 91 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,295 HONEY, THIS IS BAD. 92 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:19,631 IT COULD LEAD TO A SERIOUS OUTBREAK OF ABBREVIATIONS. 93 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,500 LOOK, YOU GOT TO VACCINATE THIS KID. 94 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,335 NO. OKAY? I DID MY RESEARCH. 95 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,304 THERE CAN BE DANGEROUS SIDE EFFECTS. 96 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,638 WHAT ABOUT THE SIDE EFFECT OF A SICK KID UPSTAIRS? 97 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,006 YOU DON'T VACCINATE HIM, 98 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,675 HE COULD END UP WITH MUMPS, TETANUS, OR GERMAN MEASLES, 99 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,310 AND YOU CAN'T MESS WITH GERMAN MEASLES. 100 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,911 I -- LITERALLY, IT STARTS WITH AN ITCH. 101 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,313 NEXT DAY, YOU LOSE POLAND. 102 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,585 KRIS, THE SIDE EFFECTS FROM THESE VACCINES 103 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:40,686 ARE EXTREMELY RARE. 104 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,521 SURE, ACCORDING TO THE A.M.A., 105 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,356 BUT THEY'RE IN THE POCKETS OF BIG PHARMA. 106 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,490 WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR SCIENCE, 107 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,192 ON THE BULLETIN BOARD AT THE YOGA STUDIO? 108 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:48,994 OH. DAD. NO, BUT THESE DISEASES, 109 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,496 THEY'RE MAKING A BIG COMEBACK... EXACTLY. EXACTLY. 110 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:54,333 ...THANKS TO THIS GROOVY, NEW TREND OF NOT GETTING SHOTS. 111 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,667 LISTEN, THERE IS MORE WHOOPING COUGH 112 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,703 IN BEVERLY HILLS THAN IN SOUTH SUDAN. 113 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,705 HEY. BACK OFF, OKAY? 114 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,540 SHE'S BOYD'S MOM, AND I SUPPORT HER. 115 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,941 THANK YOU. 116 00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,509 YEAH, ASSUMING THAT YOU'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT VACCINATIONS, 117 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:08,447 'CAUSE I'M PRETTY MUCH JUST LIPREADING AT THIS POINT. 118 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,548 THIS IS JUST LIBERAL HYPOCRISY. 119 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,383 WHEN IT'S ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE, SCIENCE GOOD. 120 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,851 ABOUT MEDICINE, SCIENCE BAD. ALL RIGHT. 121 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,219 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DONE, OKAY? 122 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,520 I'M JUST GONNA TAKE BOYD HOME AND CARE FOR HIM THERE. 123 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,588 ALL RIGHT, NO, NO. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 124 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,590 YOU AND BOYD STAY HERE, 125 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,593 AND WE'LL CALL A TRUCE TO THIS DISCUSSION FOR NOW, OKAY? 126 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,595 [ SIGHS ] 127 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,765 THANK YOU. I'M GONNA SEE HOW HE'S DOING. 128 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,233 GEEZ. 129 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,368 I CAN'T UNDERSTAND 130 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,536 HOW EDUCATED PEOPLE LIKE OUR DAUGHTER 131 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,138 CAN TURN THEIR BACKS ON SCIENCE. 132 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,573 EVEN A BIG LIBERAL LIKE FDR 133 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,575 WOULD HAVE STOOD UP FOR THE POLIO VACCINE... [ GROANS ] 134 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,110 ...YOU KNOW, IF HE COULD HAVE STOOD UP. 135 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,817 [ METAL CLANGING ] 136 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,788 [ CHITTERS ] 137 00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,392 NICE SHOOTIN', PARTNER. 138 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,128 I AGREE WITH THE OLD PROSPECTOR ON THAT ONE. 139 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,262 HE SAYS IT A LOT, 140 00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,598 BUT I CAN TELL HE REALLY MEANT IT THAT TIME. 141 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,099 I'VE BEEN PLAYING EVERY DAY FOR A WHOLE WEEK, 142 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,236 AND I STILL CAN'T BEAT THAT HIGH SCORE. 143 00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,338 WHO THE HELL IS "BEST SHOT IN THE WE" ANYWAY? 144 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,340 THAT'S ME. I RAN OUT OF SPACES. 145 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,474 IT'S SUPPOSED TO READ 146 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,077 "BEST SHOT IN THE WESTERN UNITED STATES." 147 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:14,112 WHO KNEW YOU WERE SO GOOD? YEAH. 148 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:17,616 HEY. HOW'S THE BEST SHOT IN THE WESTERN UNITED STATES? 149 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,251 GREAT. [ GIGGLES ] 150 00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:20,919 WELL, WE SHOULD GO, OKAY? MWAH! 151 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,421 IT'S THE PERFECT TIME TO HIT THE MALL -- 152 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,423 AFTER ALL THE ELDERLY POWER WALKERS 153 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,792 AND BEFORE THE GANGS OF EIGHTH-GRADE GIRLS. 154 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,094 HEY. NOT SO FAST. 155 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,862 I'M CALLING YOU OUT, COWBOY. 156 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,632 THIS STORE AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US. 157 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,968 ACTUALLY, FIRE CODE ALLOWS FOR 1,200 PEOPLE. 158 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,104 COME ON. GUN UP, GOLDILOCKS. 159 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,772 BUT YOU'RE A LITTLE GIRL. 160 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,441 BEATING YOU WOULD JUST BE MEAN. 161 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,775 A LITTLE GIRL? 162 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,778 YEAH, IT'S A GOOD THING THIS RIFLE IS CHAINED DOWN, 163 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,113 OR ELSE YOU'D BE LIMPING OUT OF HERE 164 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,482 CARRYING A CONCEALED WEAPON. 165 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,718 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 166 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:57,522 SHE'S GONNA PUT IT UP YOUR BUTT, KYLE. 167 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:01,159 HURRY UP AND BEAT HER SO WE CAN GO, OKAY? ALL RIGHT. 168 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:04,563 I GUESS, AS TOP GUN, I'M OBLIGED TO TAKE ON ALL CHALLENGERS. 169 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,564 HMM. 170 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:06,631 YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME 171 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,300 THE "SECOND-BEST SHOT IN THE WE." 172 00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:09,634 [ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S TOO MANY LETTERS. 173 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:12,170 IT'S NEVER GONNA FIT. 174 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:17,008 HOWDY, PARTNERS. READY, AIM, LET 'EM HAVE IT. 175 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,543 [ BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYS ] [ METAL CLANGING ] 176 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,245 [ BEEPING ] [ CHITTERS ] 177 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:23,915 [ GROWLS ] 178 00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,419 [ SMOKE HISSING ] 179 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,390 [ QUACKING ] 180 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,535 NICE SHOOTIN', PARTNER. 181 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,703 [ RINGING ] 182 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:45,737 [ SIGHS ] 183 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,905 [ BEEPING ] 184 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,408 OH! I DID IT! I BEAT YOU! 185 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,277 WAIT. WHAT? YOU WON? SHE WON? 186 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,346 YEAH, I GUESS I DIDN'T HAVE IT TODAY. 187 00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:55,414 HEY, NICE JOB, EVE. 188 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:59,251 YEAH, DUH! THIS IS GOING ON INSTAGRAM. 189 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,253 LATER, LOSERS. 190 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,854 WAIT A MINUTE. 191 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,457 BUT NOBODY'S EVER BEATEN YOU BEFORE. 192 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,559 NOPE. JUST YOUR LITTLE SISTER. 193 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:10,729 ALL RIGHT, JUST SOME LITTLE GIRL... 194 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,064 WHO YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE MEAN TO... 195 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,234 'CAUSE YOU'RE A NICE GUY, 196 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,836 AND YOU'VE GOT GREAT HAIR... 197 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,207 ...WHICH PROBABLY ISN'T A PART OF THIS. 198 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:25,377 WAIT A SECOND. YOU JUST LET HER WIN! 199 00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:29,047 JUST -- JUST DON'T TELL HER, OKAY? 200 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,215 WINNING'S SO IMPORTANT TO EVE. 201 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,818 I KNEW NOBODY COULD BEAT MY BOYFRIEND. 202 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:33,985 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO. 203 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,721 I WANT TO BE THE "BEST SHOPPER IN THE MA." 204 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,629 OH, HEY, STRANGER. 205 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,631 HEY. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 206 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,967 I'M AT MY FOLKS FOR FIVE DAYS, AND YOU REDECORATE? 207 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,502 MM-HMM. WHAT? 208 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,837 I'M DOING THE WHOLE APARTMENT. MM-HMM. 209 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,271 OH, I TRIED TO PAINT 210 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,273 A SUPERHERO MURAL IN BOYD'S ROOM TO SURPRISE HIM. OH. 211 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,776 BUT MY BATMAN CAME OUT REALLY RACIST. 212 00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:01,947 HONEY, I'M SURE IT'S NOT SO -- OH, MY GOD! 213 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,416 YEAH. I'M GONNA PAINT OVER THAT. DON'T WORRY. 214 00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:06,918 YEAH, PLEASE DO BEFORE OUR BUILDING MANAGER SEES THAT. 215 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,088 OR BOYD'S FRIEND DeSEAN. 216 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,957 HEY, SO, WHEN CAN BOYD COME HOME? 217 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,325 HE'S BETTER. 218 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,493 I AM EXHAUSTED, 219 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,461 BUT AT LEAST HE'LL NEVER GET CHICKEN POX AGAIN, 220 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,331 AND WE DID IT WITHOUT EXPOSING HIM TO THE RISK OF A VACCINE. 221 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:23,335 YEAH, WE WERE LUCKY... 222 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,504 WHICH IS GREAT WHEN WE'RE IN VEGAS. 223 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:28,006 BUT, UM, I DON'T THINK WE WANT TO ROLL THE DICE 224 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,008 WITH MENINGITIS. 225 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,843 OKAY. 226 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,179 WHAT, SO YOU'RE SUDDENLY PRO-VACCINE? 227 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,681 BUT LAST WEEK, YOU AGREED WITH ME IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS. 228 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,183 YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW. 229 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,185 BUT WHEN YOU GUYS WERE GONE, I HAD TIME TO DO SOME READING, 230 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,486 AND -- OH, FIRST OF ALL, 231 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,321 I FINALLY FINISHED "THE GOLDFINCH." 232 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:44,656 SO GOOD. 233 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:48,660 BUT [SIGHS] I ALSO READ UP ON CHILDHOOD INOCULATIONS, 234 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,829 AND IT SAYS THERE'S SOME RISK FOR BABIES, 235 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:53,031 BUT BOYD CAN GET HIS SHOTS NOW SO... 236 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,333 BUT I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. 237 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:58,003 EVEN AFTER YOU WATCHED HIM SUFFER ALL WEEK? 238 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,838 I MEAN, THAT COULD HAVE TOTALLY BEEN AVOIDED. 239 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,973 YOU'RE BLAMING ME FOR HIS SUFFERING? 240 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,642 NO. OF COURSE NOT. I'M NOT POINTING ANY FINGERS. 241 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,477 WE'RE JUST TRYING TO FIX YOUR MISTAKE. 242 00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:07,979 WELL... IT WAS NOT A MISTAKE, OKAY? 243 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,549 YOU HAD SKIPPED TOWN WHEN I HAD TO MAKE THESE DECISIONS. 244 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,384 YOU DON'T GET TO SECOND-GUESS ME NOW. 245 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,419 I'M GONNA GO PACK UP SOME CLOTHES FOR BOYD AND GO. 246 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,354 ALL RIGHT, I'LL COME WITH YOU. I WANT TO SEE HIM. 247 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,223 YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU NEED TO GIVE IT A COUPLE MORE DAYS. 248 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,658 IT MIGHT BE DANGEROUS FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. 249 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,359 BUT YOU JUST SAID BOYD'S NOT CONTAGIOUS. 250 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,329 IT'S NOT BOYD YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT. 251 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,071 HI, MIKE BAXTER HERE FOR OUTDOOR MAN 252 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,573 WITH A MESSAGE FOR THOSE OF YOU 253 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:37,075 WHO ARE WAGING A WAR AGAINST VACCINATIONS. 254 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,743 YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THAT WAR. 255 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:42,247 YOU SEE, VACCINATIONS ACTUALLY WON THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR. 256 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,083 SEE, AT THAT TIME, THERE WAS A BIG OUTBREAK OF SMALLPOX, 257 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,419 NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE "GREAT POX," 258 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,921 WHICH IS WHAT THEY CALLED, UH, SYPHILIS. 259 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,757 THAT LED TO THE POPULAR 18th-CENTURY PICKUP LINE, 260 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:56,461 "COME ON, BABY, IT'S ONLY SMALLPOX." 261 00:09:56,463 --> 00:10:00,131 ANYHOO, BRITISH SOLDIERS HAD A NATURAL IMMUNITY TO SMALLPOX, 262 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,467 SO IN AN EARLY VERSION OF BIOLOGICAL WARFARE, 263 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,803 THEY WOULD INTENTIONALLY SPREAD THE DISEASE TO OUR COLONISTS 264 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:08,640 BY SNEEZING IN PUBLIC OR BORROWING OUR ChapStick. 265 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,975 BUT WE HAD OUR OWN SECRET WEAPON -- 266 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,309 GEORGE WASHINGTON. 267 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,410 HE WOULD INOCULATE THE TROOPS 268 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,746 USING A TECHNIQUE CALLED "VARIOLATION." 269 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,247 IF YOU'RE EATING RIGHT NOW, 270 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,583 I SUGGEST YOU PUT DOWN THAT FORK, 271 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,285 BECAUSE VARIOLATION IS WHERE YOU POKE 272 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,987 ONE OF YOUR BUDDY'S INFECTED BLISTERS 273 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,823 AND INSERT THE GOO UNDER YOUR OWN HEALTHY SKIN. 274 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,325 THIS LED TO THE POPULAR 18th-CENTURY EXPRESSION, 275 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,662 "THIS CENTURY IS GROSS." 276 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:31,896 BUT IT WORKED. 277 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,566 THE SMALLPOX RATES PLUMMETED. WE WON THE WAR. 278 00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:37,068 SO, YOU SEE, IF IT WASN'T FOR VACCINATIONS, 279 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,070 WE WOULD HAVE LOST THE WAR, WE'D ALL BE BRITISH, 280 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,906 FOOTBALL WOULD BE SOCCER, WE'D BE EATING BANGERS, MASH, 281 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,875 AND SPOTTED DICK WOULD BE A DESSERT. 282 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:49,447 [ Chuckling ] HEY. 283 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,283 OH. SHH. 284 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,120 HEY. HOW YOU DOING? WANT A SNACK? 285 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,454 YEAH, THANKS. I'M PRETTY HUNGRY. 286 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,123 IT'S MINE. 287 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,325 YOU KNOW WHERE WE KEEP THE PEANUT BUTTER. 288 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,160 [ CHUCKLES ] HERE YOU GO. 289 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,862 LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER, HUH? 290 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,363 I AM. 291 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:08,867 MOMMY HAD A ROUGH NIGHT, THOUGH. 292 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,870 THAT'S ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOUT BEING A PARENT. 293 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:14,105 YOU MADE A WISE CHOICE BY NOT HAVING ANY KIDS. 294 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,709 SO, WHAT ARE WE DOING? 295 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,679 PUZZLE OF AMERICA. 296 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:21,880 WHERE DOES NEW YORK GO? 297 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:25,050 AFTER 60, IT GOES TO FLORIDA. 298 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:30,221 VERY BLUE STATE. VERY, VERY BLUE. 299 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,892 EXCUSE ME. WHAT HAPPENED TO COLORADO? 300 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,061 MUFFIN CHEWED IT UP. 301 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,897 WELL, AMERICA JUST WOULDN'T BE AMERICA WITHOUT COLORADO, 302 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,465 SO YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN DO IS, 303 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,400 I'LL GO DOWN AND FIRE UP MY LITTLE SAW, 304 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,235 AND I WILL MAKE YOU ANOTHER COLORADO. 305 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,537 YOU NEED ANY HELP? 306 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:46,638 NO, NO, YOU STAY RIGHT HERE. 307 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,973 AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT PUT YOUR MOM'S HAND 308 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,642 IN A BOWL OF WARM WATER. 309 00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,514 HEY. HI. HOW WAS SCHOOL? 310 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,683 WELL, I SCHOOLED YOUR BOYFRIEND LAST WEEK 311 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,018 AT THE SHOOTING GALLERY. 312 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,387 WOW. COULDN'T EVEN SAY HI FIRST. 313 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,923 CHECK IT OUT -- TOP OF THE LEADER BOARD. 314 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,258 [ CHUCKLES ] 150 LIKES. 315 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,927 AND ONE OF THEM IS KYLE. 316 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,763 MM-HMM. YEAH. 'CAUSE HE'S A REALLY NICE GUY. 317 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,598 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT NICE GUYS. 318 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,700 THEY'RE LOSERS. MM-HMM. 319 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:19,037 YOU KNOW WHO SAYS THAT? MEAN GUYS LIKE YOU. 320 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,039 DAD, MANDY JUST CALLED ME MEAN. 321 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,607 EVE CALLED KYLE A LOSER. 322 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,509 OOH. SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE BOTH ONTO SOMETHING. 323 00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:30,949 BUT YOU GOT TO EXCUSE ME. THE DOG ATE COLORADO. 324 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,952 SO, WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT? 325 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,453 OH, RIGHT. 326 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,056 HOW BADLY I KICKED KYLE'S ASS. 327 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:41,059 OKAY. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. OKAY, FYI -- 328 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,129 KYLE LET YOU WIN BECAUSE HE FELT SORRY FOR YOU. 329 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,131 [ SCOFFS ] NICE TRY. OH, RIGHT! 330 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,465 'CAUSE IT'S SO NOT LIKE KYLE 331 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,033 TO PROTECT THE FEELINGS OF ANOTHER PERSON. 332 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,569 HE PITIED YOU. HE GAVE YOU PITY VICTORY. 333 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,304 I WANT A REMATCH. WHERE IS HE? 334 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,639 MM. I DON'T KNOW. 335 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,641 PROBABLY SOMEWHERE LOSING A SEEING CONTEST TO HELEN KELLER. 336 00:12:58,544 --> 00:13:01,713 OR A HEARING CONTEST TO HELEN KELLER. 337 00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:03,581 SHE WAS ALSO DEAF. 338 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,950 AND LIKE YOU, SHE WAS ALSO DUMB. 339 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,486 DAD! EVE'S BEING MEAN TO HELEN KELLER! 340 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,655 HEY, MIKE. YOU WANT TO LET ME IN? 341 00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,824 GOT A SICK KID IN HERE. I CAN'T LET YOU IN. 342 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,993 COME BACK NEXT SUMMER. 343 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,161 MIKE, KRIS ALREADY TOLD ME 344 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,996 HE'S NOT CONTAGIOUS ANYMORE, SO... 345 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,331 WELL, IF YOU TWO HIPPIES HAD GIVEN HIM A VACCINATION, 346 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,500 WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION NOW, WOULD WE? 347 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,968 YES, I AGREE WITH YOU. 348 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,837 OOH. 349 00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:28,006 PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN. 350 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,009 I'M STILL TASTING IT FROM THE FIRST TIME. 351 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,444 LOOK, I THINK BOYD NEEDS TO GET HIS SHOTS. 352 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,612 WELL, WHERE WAS YOUR SPINE 353 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,914 WHEN WE WERE TRYING TO TALK KRISTIN INTO THIS? 354 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,916 SHE IS GOING TO BE MY WIFE, OKAY? 355 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:41,586 UH-OH. NOW I GOT THAT TASTE IN MY MOUTH. 356 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,921 YOU AND VANESSA WERE GANGING UP ON HER. 357 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,155 I HAD TO HAVE HER BACK. 358 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,523 BUT NOW I THINK WE SHOULD TRY TALKING TO HER. 359 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,693 THE TIME TO TALK TO HER WAS WHEN SHE WAS FACING A SICK KID. 360 00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,195 NOW WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT 361 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:53,298 TILL BOYD GETS ANOTHER DISEASE FROM THE '50s. 362 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:56,000 I DON'T WANT TO RISK THAT, OKAY? 363 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,836 WELL, AS GRANDPARENTS, WE'VE SAID OUR PIECE. 364 00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:01,206 NOW THE KID'S HEALTH IS IN THE HANDS OF HIS TWO MOMMIES. 365 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,577 [ SAW WHIRRING ] 366 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,918 HEY. HERE, BUDDY. GRAB A SEAT. 367 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,356 UH, I CALLED EARLIER 368 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,692 ABOUT GETTING BOYD BAXTER SOME INOCULATIONS. 369 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,694 YOU SAID DR. FRY COULD SQUEEZE US IN. 370 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,569 WE DO THE INOCULATIONS IN STAGES. 371 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,338 WE'LL START WITH THE MMR AND DTaP. 372 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,906 JUST SIGN THESE RELEASE FORMS. 373 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,741 [ SIGHS ] 374 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,744 WOW. THAT'S A LOT OF POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS. 375 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,981 "PARALYSIS, BRAIN DAMAGE, DEATH"? 376 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:47,051 DEATH IS A SIDE EFFECT? 377 00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:52,824 GRANDPA! [ Chuckling ] HEY. 378 00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:53,992 HEY, MIKE. 379 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,526 [ DOOR CLOSES ] WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 380 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,861 I COME HERE ALL THE TIME. 381 00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,830 THIS IS WHERE I GET MY COPY OF HIGHLIGHTS. 382 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,532 THERE IT IS. LET'S SEE WHAT GALLANT'S DOING. 383 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,401 WE KNOW WHAT GOOFUS IS UP TO. 384 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,537 CAN I LISTEN TO MY MUSIC? 385 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:07,739 UH, YEAH. 386 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,241 JUST, UM, DON'T SING ALONG TO THE RAP, OKAY? 387 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,611 SOME PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF WORDS. 388 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,581 SO, THIS IS YOUR PLAN? AN END RUN AROUND KRISTIN? 389 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,916 WELL, YOU SAID IT'S UP TO HIS PARENTS, MIKE, 390 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,050 AND I'M HIS PARENT. 391 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,885 WELL, THIS IS A PRETTY BIG SWING. 392 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,220 DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD THE BEANBAGS 393 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,222 FOR ANYTHING LIKE THIS. 394 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,390 BUT THE TRUTH IS, 395 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,926 THIS IS NOT GONNA BE GOOD FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 396 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,727 WELL, I'M SURE THAT'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY. 397 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,897 ORDINARILY, I'D SAY YES. 398 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,198 BUT THE OTHER DAY, 399 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,702 WHEN, UH, MY WIFE AND I WERE GANGING UP ON OUR DAUGHTER, 400 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,204 YOUR FIRST REACTION, EVEN FROM OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, 401 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,041 WAS TO PROTECT HER, TO HAVE HER BACK. 402 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,108 I LIKED THAT. 403 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,379 THANK YOU. 404 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,914 BUT DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE RIGHT NOW, 405 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,316 YOU'RE STABBING HER IN THE BACK? 406 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,650 [ SIGHS ] 407 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,552 MIKE, YOU AGREE WITH ME THAT HE NEEDS TO GET HIS SHOTS. 408 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,054 YEAH, I AGREE, BUT I'M NOT MARRYING YOU. 409 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,122 OHH. THERE'S THAT TASTE AGAIN. 410 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:01,492 I'M RIGHT ABOUT THIS. 411 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,593 YEAH, I KNOW THAT FEELING. 412 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,662 IT'S ABOUT THE ONLY FEELING I'VE EVER HAD. 413 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,331 BUT IN A RELATIONSHIP, 414 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,999 YOU GOT TO WORK THINGS OUT TOGETHER. 415 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,500 YOU GOT TO BE ABLE TO SAY STUFF LIKE, 416 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:10,835 "LET'S FIND A COMPROMISE 417 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:13,671 BETWEEN THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND YOUR WAY, VANESSA." 418 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,239 DR. FRY IS READY. 419 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,241 [ SIGHS ] 420 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:18,843 YEAH, BUT GO AHEAD WITH YOUR BIG PLAN. 421 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,012 MAYBE THE NEXT GUY SHE GOES OUT WITH 422 00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,180 WILL BE SOMEONE I LIKE, 423 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:26,284 LIKE A NAVY SEAL THAT MAKES HIS OWN BEEF JERKY. 424 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,853 SIR. SIR, YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HIGHLIGHTS. 425 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,088 OH, YEAH. 426 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,424 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 427 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:41,799 HEY. YOU. ME. REMATCH. NOW. 428 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:42,800 I'M WITH A CUSTOMER. 429 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:46,270 THE MEN'S ROOM IS TO THE LEFT. 430 00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:47,472 OKAY. I'M FREE. 431 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:48,873 I DEMAND A REMATCH. 432 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,641 YEAH, AND THIS TIME, DON'T LET HER WIN. 433 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,977 [ SIGHS ] I DIDN'T LET HER WIN. 434 00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,645 KYLE, SHE KNOWS. 435 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,646 YEAH, COME ON. CHOP-CHOP. LET'S GO. 436 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,482 I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY, OKAY? 437 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:58,816 I'M NOT A CHARITY CASE, 438 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:02,487 AND I DON'T NEED YOUR GOVERNMENT CHEESE. 439 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:05,056 IT WASN'T CHARITY, OKAY? YOU BEAT ME. 440 00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:08,559 SHE REALLY DID. NO, SHE DIDN'T. 441 00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:12,997 SHE REALLY BEAT YOU? 442 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,999 HA! SO I AM THE WINNER! 443 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,668 HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT FREE CHEESE? 444 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,338 I LOVE CHEESE. 445 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,174 AND I DID NOT KNOW YOU COULD GET IT FOR FREE. 446 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:26,577 THAT WOULD HAVE COME IN HANDY WHEN I WAS LIVING IN THE STORE. 447 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,913 WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME? 448 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,916 I GUESS I LIKED THAT YOU WERE PROUD OF ME, 449 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,718 AND I DIDN'T WANT YOU THINKING OF ME AS A LOSER. 450 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,920 I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF YOU AS A LOSER. 451 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,756 HOW ABOUT WHEN HE WAS LIVING IN THE STORE? 452 00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:43,061 I-I GOT CAUGHT UP IN NOT WANTING YOU TO THINK LESS OF ME. 453 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:47,265 KYLE...I COULDN'T POSSIBLY THINK LESS OF YOU. 454 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,235 YOU THINK THAT I LOVE YOU 455 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,571 BECAUSE YOU'RE GOOD AT SOME GAME? 456 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,407 I'M NOT SHALLOW LIKE THAT. 457 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,276 I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE HOT. 458 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,114 AND BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME. 459 00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:07,552 HONESTLY, I DON'T CARE IF YOU WIN OR YOU LOSE, OKAY? 460 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:10,721 SO LONG AS EVE LOSES. 461 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,090 JUST PLEASE MAKE THAT HAPPEN. 462 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:15,259 OKAY, HOMBRE, WE GONNA DO THIS OR NOT? 463 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,594 LET'S DANCE. 464 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,762 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 465 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,498 DANCING'S AN EXCELLENT WARM-UP BEFORE SHOOTING. 466 00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:25,970 NOW YOU THINK LESS OF HIM? 467 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,305 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 468 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:30,041 THIS GUY IS THE "BEST DANCER IN THE WE." 469 00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:34,378 [ CHUCKLES ] 470 00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:40,651 I JUST WOKE UP TO AN E-MAIL FROM DR. FRY 471 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,153 ABOUT AFTERCARE FOR VACCINATIONS. 472 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,454 WHERE THE HELL IS MY SON? 473 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,089 HONEY, I JUST WALKED IN. I -- 474 00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,557 SO YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS? 475 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,092 I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, SOMEBODY TOOK BOYD 476 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,495 TO GET HIS SHOTS AGAINST MY WILL. WELL, HONEY, IT WASN'T ME. 477 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:51,662 AND -- AND YOUR DAD IS IN THE GARAGE 478 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,030 MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF WOOD. 479 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,834 OH, GOD. I HOPE IT'S NOT MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 480 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,269 MOMMY! 481 00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,270 HEY, THERE YOU ARE! HEY. 482 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,838 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 483 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,106 WE WENT TO THE DOCTOR, THEN HAD ICE CREAM. 484 00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:05,443 HMM. YEAH, I CAN TELL WHAT FLAVOR. 485 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,777 WHY DON'T WE GO WASH YOUR FACE? 486 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,446 HONEY, HOW COME YOU HAVE ICE CREAM IN YOUR HAIR? 487 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,414 THAT'S FROM YESTERDAY. 488 00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:14,118 I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WENT AND DID THIS BEHIND MY BACK. 489 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,253 IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK, KRIS. 490 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,587 WHAT? DON'T LIE TO ME, OKAY? 491 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:17,955 I GOT AN E-MAIL FROM DR. FRY. 492 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,291 OKAY, YES, I WENT TO TAKE BOYD TO GET HIS SHOTS, 493 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,293 BUT THEN I REALIZED IT WAS WRONG 494 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,028 TO TRY TO DO AN END RUN LIKE THAT ON YOU -- 495 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,531 WHICH, I GUESS, IS A FOOTBALL TERM. 496 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,466 YOUR DAD TOLD ME ABOUT IT. 497 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,269 SO MY DAD PUT YOU UP TO THIS? 498 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,471 HE ACTUALLY TALKED ME OUT OF IT. 499 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:34,972 WHAT? 500 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,641 LOOK, I WAS ALREADY HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS 501 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:40,645 AFTER READING ALL THOSE SIDE EFFECTS AND... 502 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,647 I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT THAT MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE FOR YOU 503 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,482 TO MAKE THAT DECISION ON YOUR OWN. 504 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,150 IT WAS TERRIFYING. 505 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,485 I WAS 17 YEARS OLD 506 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:50,621 AND SUDDENLY IN CHARGE OF THIS TINY HUMAN BEING. 507 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,623 I KNOW. 508 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,293 BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE, OKAY? 509 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,360 A-AND FROM HERE ON OUT, 510 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,196 WE GET TO SCREW THIS KID UP TOGETHER. 511 00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:03,000 FIRST ONE'S A PRACTICE ONE, ANYWAY, RIGHT? 512 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:06,470 OH, GOD, I HOPE SO. [ CHUCKLES ] 513 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,472 WAIT, NO, I-IF BOYD DIDN'T GET HIS SHOTS, 514 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,341 THEN WHY DID I GET AN E-MAIL FROM THE DOCTOR? 515 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:14,345 UH...BAM! 516 00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:17,048 WITH CHICKEN POX GOING AROUND, I FIGURED IT WAS PROBABLY TIME. 517 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,883 OH. DID IT HURT? 518 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,218 OH, MY GOD. SO MUCH. 519 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,219 YEAH? 520 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,220 OW! 521 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,554 [ GIGGLES ] 522 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,556 BUT DR. FRY SAID I WAS VERY BRAVE. OH, YEAH? 523 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:29,560 HE EVEN GAVE ME A LOLLIPOP. BOYD WAS JEALOUS, SO... 524 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,696 YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN THAT TO HIM. 525 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:34,332 HEY, WHO GOT THE SHOT? 526 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:44,942 HEY, DAD. HEY. 527 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,110 GOT A MINUTE? 528 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,780 YEP. I'M JUST, UH, FIXING COLORADO. 529 00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:52,516 WASN'T THE ORIGINAL PIECE BLUE? 530 00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:55,620 LIKE I SAID, I'M FIXING COLORADO. 531 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,622 WE'RE ABOUT TO TAKE BOYD HOME. 532 00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,624 I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR LETTING US STAY HERE. 533 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,626 THIS IS YOUR HOME. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? 534 00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,628 "WHY DON'T YOU STAY AT THAT RAMADA INN NEAR YOUR HOUSE 535 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,463 THAT'S CLEAN AND REASONABLY PRICED"? 536 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:06,697 [ CHUCKLES ] 537 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,533 AND THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE YOU GAVE RYAN. 538 00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:12,203 IT MATTERED TO YOU THAT HE NOT SCREW UP OUR RELATIONSHIP. 539 00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:14,705 THAT GUY'S GOT A BIG MOUTH, KRIS. AWW. 540 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,073 IT MEANS A LOT TO ME. 541 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,409 KRIS, I JUST WANT YOU HAPPY, OKAY? 542 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,510 THANKS. 543 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,214 BUT IF YOU HAPPEN TO MEET 544 00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:25,216 A NAVY SEAL THAT CAN MAKE HIS OWN BEEF JERKY, 545 00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:26,951 KEEP AN OPEN MIND. 40408

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