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1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:03,969
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
2
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,037
I GOT IT!
3
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,605
"LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED
4
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,375
IN FRONT OF A LIVESTUDIO AUDIENCE.
5
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,709
[ SIGHS ]
6
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,479
Both:
TRICK OR TREAT.
7
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:16,015
REALLY? YOU GUYS COULDN'T EVEN
BE BOTHERED TO WEAR A COSTUME?
8
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,850
YOU GUYS WANT SOMETHING
FROM EVE BAXTER,
9
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:19,451
YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.
10
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,022
THAT'S A GOOD CALL.
11
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:27,059
TRY TO REMEMBER THAT
ON PROM NIGHT.
12
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,061
WHAT --
WHAT IS THIS COSTUME?
13
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,562
OH.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
14
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,731
HOPE SOLO'S MUG SHOT?
15
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,567
IT'S A BIG STEP
FOR EQUALITY IN SPORTS
16
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:38,070
WHEN A FEMALE ATHLETE FINALLY
GETS ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT.
17
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:41,040
WHEN SHE GETS FIVE GUYS PREGNANT
IN FIVE DIFFERENT CITIES,
18
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,908
THEN SHE'S HIT
THE BIG LEAGUES.
19
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,877
HONEY, UH,
WE ALREADY ATE,
20
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,211
BUT I'LL STAND HERE
WITH YOU
21
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,514
WHILE YOU MAKE YOURSELF
SOMETHING.
22
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:49,748
NO, THANKS.
23
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,550
RIGHT TO THE SAUCE.
24
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,252
TOUGH DAY?
25
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,387
I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY
26
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:59,591
TRYING TO NAVIGATE THESE
NEW E.P.A. GUIDELINES ON CARBON.
27
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,061
34,000 PAGES.
28
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,862
WOW.
THAT'S A LOT OF PAPER.
29
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,532
GUESS THE E.P.A. DOESN'T CARE
ABOUT TREES ANYMORE.
30
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,233
SCIENTISTS LIKE ME --
WE'RE NOT THE ENEMY.
31
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,102
WE'RE TRYING TO
FIX THE PROBLEM.
32
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:13,572
WHAT WE SHOULD DO IS PUT ALL
THE POWER PLANTS IN PAKISTAN...
33
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,741
BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE
ABOUT AIR POLLUTION THERE.
34
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,276
THEIR AIR
COMES IN FLAVORS --
35
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:20,712
THEY HAVE THE ORIGINAL
AND EXTRA CRISPY.
36
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,948
YOU KNOW, MIKE,
I AM REALLY STARTING TO WONDER
37
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,717
IF THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO BE
DOING WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE.
38
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,953
AT LEAST YOU GOT A LOVING FAMILY
TO COME HOME TO.
39
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:31,457
YEAH, WHATEVER.
40
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,759
TRICK OR TREAT!
41
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,260
HEY, BOYD.
Kristin:
HEY, HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
42
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,728
WE THOUGHT
WE WOULD BRING BOYD
43
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,263
TO TRICK-OR-TREAT
IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
44
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,300
YEAH, SEE WHAT YOU
ONE-PERCENTERS ARE SHELLING OUT.
45
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,104
THAT'S A GOOD CALL. YOU SAY
"TRICK" IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
46
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,072
YOU GET A GIRL NAMED CANDY.
47
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:50,142
BOYD, HONEY,
WHAT'S YOUR COSTUME?
48
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,977
OH, HE IS SOMETHING
REALLY SCARY.
49
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,612
Mike: LET'S SEE IT.
50
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,615
MY DADDY SAYS I'M THE SINGLE
BIGGEST THREAT TO LIFE ON EARTH.
51
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,151
A LUMP OF COAL.
52
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,820
I GET IT, YEAH. IT'S --
IT'S 'CAUSE I WORK IN COAL.
53
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,256
I'M DESTROYING
THE PLANET!
54
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:07,659
I SUPPOSE YOU DROVE OVER HERE
IN YOUR WINDMILL-POWERED CAR?
55
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,561
I'M JUST TRYING TO
RAISE AWARENESS, MAN.
56
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:13,332
I MISS THE DAYS WHEN ALL THE
COSTUME HAD TO SAY WAS "BOO."
57
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,400
WITH THE ELECTION COMING UP,
WE JUST WANTED HIM
58
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,569
TO WEAR A COSTUME THAT
MADE A STATEMENT -- THAT'S ALL.
59
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,171
WELL, A LITTLE KID
WEARING BLACK AT NIGHT --
60
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:23,342
THE STATEMENT IS, "WHY DON'T YOU
HIT ME WITH YOUR CAR?"
61
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,478
-- Captions by VITAC --
62
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:34,353
HEY, MANDY. [ CHUCKLES ]
GLASSES AND A BOOK?
63
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,388
THAT IS OBVIOUSLY
A COSTUME.
64
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:40,259
U.S. ELECTION
ASSISTANCE COMMISSION?
65
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,694
MM-HMM,
FOR EXTRA CREDIT IN POLI-SCI,
66
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,030
I SIGNED UP TO HELP OUT
AT THE POLLING PLACE ON TUESDAY.
67
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:48,500
THAT'S RIGHT, PEOPLE.
MANDY IS WORKING THE POLE.
68
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:53,705
I THINK WE ALL
SAW THIS DAY COMING.
69
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,807
WHEN ARE WE GONNA GO
TRICK-OR-TREATING?
70
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,110
I'LL TAKE YOU OUT, SQUIRT.
COME ON.
71
00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,279
OH, BUT I GET 20%
OF YOUR HAUL.
72
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,447
WHAT FOR?
PROTECTION.
73
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,716
IT'S DARK OUT HERE, YOU KNOW?
YOU MIGHT FALL DOWN
74
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,020
AND BREAK THOSE PRETTY,
LITTLE TEETH OF YOURS.
75
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,722
SO, YOU'RE GONNA BE
AN ELECTION JUDGE?
76
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,191
THAT'S A --
THAT'S A BIG COMMITMENT.
77
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,793
OH, YES, I HAD TO ATTEND
A TWO-HOUR SEMINAR,
78
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,962
WHICH WAS ACTUALLY
VERY INFORMATIVE...
YEAH?
79
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,898
...BECAUSE I FOUND OUT WHERE
THE INSTRUCTOR GOT HER BOOTS --
80
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,466
NORDSTROM.
81
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,302
HUH, WELL, RYAN AND I
HAVE BEEN REGISTERING VOTERS
82
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,736
OUT IN FRONT
OF WHOLE FOODS.
83
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,738
AHH, THAT'S WHERE
YOU GET GOOD VOTERS --
84
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:30,175
PEOPLE DUMB ENOUGH
TO PAY 16 BUCKS FOR A KUMQUAT.
85
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:33,078
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
WELL, IT IS A MIDTERM ELECTION,
BUT THE STAKES ARE HIGH.
86
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,713
IF THE REPUBLICANS
GET THE SENATE,
87
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:35,914
OBAMA'S HANDS WILL BE TIED.
88
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,116
HOW WILL HE PLAY GOLF?
89
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,721
AAH! AAH!
90
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:47,092
HELLO, LITTLE GIRL.
WHAT ARE YOU DRESSED AS?
91
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,095
A GUY WHO WAS
WATCHING A HOCKEY GAME
92
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,931
TILL HIS WIFE
SENT HIM OUT FOR MORE CANDY.
93
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,566
"BLACK GUY
THAT LIKES HOCKEY" --
94
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,569
THAT'S THE MOST CREATIVE COSTUME
I'VE SEEN TONIGHT.
95
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,404
[ Chuckling ]
I LIKE YOUR COSTUME, TOO --
96
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,906
"NERVOUS WHITE DUDE
97
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,574
WHO'S AFRAID TO LET A BROTHER
INTO HIS HOUSE."
98
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,011
PLEASE COME IN,
CHUCK.
99
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,412
Carol: CHUCK!
HEY, CAROL.
100
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,680
OH, HEY!
Chuck: OHH.
101
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:09,748
I SENT YOU TO THE STORE
FOR CANDY,
102
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,850
NOT TO MOOCH
OFF THE BAXTERS.
103
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,785
WELL, I WAS HOPING
VANESSA WOULD ANSWER.
104
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,455
NOW I WISH
I'D GONE TO THE STORE.
105
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:19,391
STILL TIME.
106
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,426
COME ON IN. SIT DOWN.
OH, HEY.
107
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,628
I'LL GET YOU
SOME CANDY.
108
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,896
NO, NO NEED.
I SHUT OFF OUR PORCH LIGHTS.
109
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,798
YOU KNOW, THE COSTUMES
WERE LAME THIS YEAR.
110
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,301
I JUST SAW
A KID DRESSED LIKE A ROCK.
111
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:34,439
HE IS A LUMP OF COAL, AND THERE
ARE CLEAN WAYS TO BURN HIM,
112
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:38,710
IF THE E.P.A.
WOULD JUST GET OFF MY ASS!
113
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,545
MY WIFE'S
A LITTLE TENSE TONIGHT.
114
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,715
Chuck: MY WIFE'S TENSE, TOO.
IT --
115
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:44,983
IT'S THIS ELECTION.
YEAH.
116
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,985
OH, I CAN'T WAIT TILL IT'S OVER.
[ CHUCKLES ]
117
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,054
THE ELECTION, I MEAN.
NOT MY MARRIAGE.
118
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,659
ALTHOUGH EITHER ONE
WOULD SOLVE IT.
119
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,494
ON THE SCHOOL BOARD --
UGH --
120
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,496
WE'VE BEEN CAMPAIGNING HARD
FOR MEASURE "C."
121
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,264
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH IT.
122
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,633
OH, AS A CERTIFIED ELECTION
OFFICIAL, I MOST CERTAINLY AM.
123
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,468
SO, MEASURE "C"
124
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:08,440
IS THE ONE THAT'S BETWEEN
MEASURES "B" AND "D."
125
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,309
SHE'S BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD
ON HER ALPHABET.
126
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,744
SHE USED TO HAVE TO
SING THAT.
127
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,279
MEASURE "C"
IS THE PROPOSAL
128
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,580
TO SHUT DOWN
TAFT HIGH SCHOOL, RIGHT?
RIGHT, RIGHT.
129
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,316
TAFT IS LARGELY
AFRICAN-AMERICAN?
130
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,017
YEAH, AND LATINO.
131
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,919
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF "JULIOS"
DOWN BY THAT SCHOOLYARD.
132
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,289
TAFT IS A FAILING SCHOOL.
133
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,924
IF THE SCHOOL BOARD
SHUTS IT DOWN,
134
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,693
WE CAN SEND THE KIDS TO SOME
OF THE MORE SUCCESSFUL SCHOOLS
135
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,628
IN THE DISTRICT,
LIKE WOODBRIDGE.
136
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:30,929
YEAH, JUST PUSH
THE PROBLEM UP HERE.
137
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,898
IT'S THE LEAF-BLOWER
STRATEGY.
138
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,334
WELL, I THINK
THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.
139
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,169
I'M SURE YOU DO.
140
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:40,972
MIKE, BROWN vs. TOPEKA
WAS 60 YEARS AGO,
141
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:44,509
AND OUR SCHOOLS ARE STILL AS
SEGREGATED AS THEY WERE IN 1954.
142
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,179
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
INTEGRATION? YOU'RE CANADIAN.
143
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,848
YOU GOT, LIKE, ONE BLACK KID
IN THAT WHOLE COUNTRY.
144
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,851
[ CHUCKLES ]
THEY PROBABLY INTEGRATE
145
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,020
BY SENDING HIM TO DIFFERENT
SCHOOLS EVERY YEAR.
146
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,455
[ CHUCKLES ]
147
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,557
PASS HIM AROUND
LIKE THE STANLEY CUP.
148
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:01,326
[ CHUCKLES ]
149
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,694
YEAH,
BUT THIS PROPOSAL'S ABOUT
150
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,863
GIVING THESE KIDS
AN EQUAL CHANCE.
151
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,399
I'M SURPRISED THE SCHOOL BOARD
IS GIVING UP SO EASY.
152
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,701
'CAUSE YOU COULD JUST SPEND
A LOT MORE MONEY ON THE SCHOOL.
153
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:13,372
IT WOULD STILL FAIL, BUT THEN
EVERYBODY WOULD BE POOR.
154
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,040
THERE IS NO MORE MONEY,
155
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,509
UNLESS YOU WANT TO PAY
MORE PROPERTY TAXES.
156
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:20,212
NO.
NO. NO.
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
157
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,414
I FIGURED YOU TWO
WOULD AGREE ON THAT ONE.
158
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,815
YOU READY TO HAVE
YOUR OLD NEIGHBORHOOD
159
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,384
COME OUT AND HANG
IN THE NEW NEIGHBORHOOD
160
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,153
AND GET THE OLD GANG TOGETHER --
THE CRIPS, THE BLOODS?
161
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,489
KIWANIS.
162
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,624
I-I'M STRAIGHT OUT OF DENVER,
NOT COMPTON.
163
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,361
THIS -- THIS IS REALLY
CAROL'S AREA.
164
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:39,264
SHE -- SHE'S THE POLITICIAN
IN THE FAMILY.
YOU'RE THE HOMEOWNER,
165
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,233
AND PROPERTY VALUES ARE DICTATED
BY THE SCHOOLS AROUND THEM.
166
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:44,736
YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A REALLY COMPLICATED ISSUE.
167
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,839
YOU SEE, ON THE ONE HAND, Y-YOU
WANT TO HELP THE KIDS FROM TAFT.
168
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,241
OKAY.
ON THE OTHER HAND --
169
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:50,375
THERE IS
NO OTHER HAND.
170
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,777
I HAVE A RIGHT
171
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,779
TO BE CONCERNED
ABOUT OUR PROPERTY VALUE.
172
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,013
THERE'S THE OTHER HAND.
173
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,949
WE'RE BACK.
HEY.
174
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,217
WE SHOULD BE HEADING OUT
ANYWAY, SO...
175
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,553
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
YEAH, GOOD NIGHT.
176
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,255
SEE YOU, BOYD!
WELL, WAIT. WAIT, I WANT TO
SAY GOODBYE TO MY LITTLE
LUMP OF COAL!
177
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,923
OOH!
178
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,592
I'M GONNA SQUEEZE YOU SO HARD,
YOU TURN INTO A DIAMOND. MWAH!
179
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,095
DO YOU EVER
TURN THE GEOLOGY STUFF OFF?
180
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:12,631
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
NIGHT, GUYS.
181
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,399
GOOD NIGHT, GUYS.
BE SAFE OUT THERE.
182
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,935
OKAY. WHERE WERE WE?
183
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,637
OH, YEAH.
184
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:22,307
CHUCK WAS DISRESPECTING CAROL'S
HARD WORK ON MEASURE "C."
185
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,775
WHY DO YOU DO THAT,
BAXTER?
186
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,745
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY OWN HUSBAND
IS AGAINST ME ON THIS.
187
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,346
That's why I do that.
188
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,316
IF THIS MEASURE FAILS,
189
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,984
THERE'S GOT TO BE CUTS
ACROSS THE WHOLE DISTRICT,
190
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,287
PROGRAMS LIKE MUSIC,
THEATER, ART --
191
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,456
W-WAIT. NO MORE ART?
192
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,124
YEAH, I'M AFRAID SO,
HONEY.
193
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,559
YES!
194
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,929
I SUCK AT ART.
IT'S BEEN KILLING MY G.P.A.
195
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,664
EVE, COME ON.
THAT IS SO SELFISH.
196
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:48,133
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO TRY TO
SEE THE BIG PICTURE HERE.
197
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,668
AS LONG AS I DON'T
HAVE TO DRAW IT.
198
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,638
UH, HONEY, W-WE MOVED
OUT OF THE HOOD.
199
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,008
I'M NOT SURE I LIKE THE IDEA
OF THE HOOD FOLLOWING ME HERE.
200
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,177
I DON'T MIND
THE HOOD FOLLOWING ME
201
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,681
AS LONG AS IT'S NOT
WHITE AND POINTY.
202
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,483
GOOD NIGHT,
MIKE AND VANESSA.
203
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:05,984
GOOD NIGHT, GUYS.
CAROL.
204
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,019
CHUCK, I'LL GET YOU
A SLEEPING BAG
205
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:11,590
SO YOU CAN KEEP A REAL GOOD EYE
ON YOUR PROPERTY VALUE TONIGHT.
206
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:17,562
OH, MAN. YOU SHOULD HAVE
GONE TO THE STORE.
207
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,669
THE YEKEKIANS WERE GIVING AWAY
THOSE FIG-AND-NUT BARS AGAIN.
208
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,306
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE THE KIDS ARE
THROWING THEM IN THE BUSHES.
209
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,676
WELL, IF IT'S NOT PURE SUGAR,
THE KIDS JUST TOSS IT.
I KNOW.
210
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,646
RAISINS, ORANGE SLICES,
APPLES.
211
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,148
MICHELLE OBAMA'S DREAM
FOR AMERICAN LUNCHES
212
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,684
IS RIGHT HERE
IN OUR FRONT YARD.
213
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:43,021
STUPID RYAN. GOSH.
214
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:47,025
A LUMP OF COAL THIS SIZE COULD
POWER A HOME FOR THREE DAYS.
215
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,228
AND LEAVE THE AIR A LOT CLEANER
THAN THOSE KIDS LEFT OUR YARD.
216
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,697
WELL, LET'S NOT PUT IT AWAY.
WHAT WE'LL DO IS
217
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:56,067
WE'LL PUT IT IN RYAN'S STOCKING
FOR CHRISTMAS.
218
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,903
HOW DID I
BECOME THE BAD GUY?
219
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,539
WHEN I STARTED COLLEGE,
I-I WAS AN IDEALIST.
220
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,909
I-I WANTED A CAREER WHERE I'D
MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.
221
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,378
I MEAN, SO, OF COURSE,
I PICKED GEOLOGY.
222
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,047
WELL, THAT WAS
MOTHER TERESA'S MINOR.
223
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,050
HONEY,
DON'T LET CLOWNS LIKE RYAN
224
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,419
GET INTO YOUR HEAD
AND RUIN YOUR LOVE OF ROCKS.
225
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,055
HONEY,
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE ROCKS.
226
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,723
YOU KNOW THAT.
227
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,426
BUT [SIGHS] I'M BARELY
DOING SCIENCE AT MY JOB ANYMORE.
228
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,428
I'M JUST -- I'M SO BURIED
IN PAPERWORK.
229
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:27,098
PAPER'S STRONGER THAN ROCK.
NOW YOU JUST NEED SCISSORS.
230
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,434
I'M JUST SO TIRED
OF ARGUING WITH PEOPLE --
231
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,103
MY BOSSES, THE E.P.A.
232
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,773
REALLY,
ALL I THINK ABOUT LATELY...
233
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,107
IS QUITTING MY JOB.
234
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,442
IF YOU'RE TIRED
OF ARGUING WITH PEOPLE,
235
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,911
YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE
TOLD ME THAT.
236
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,580
COME ON. WE --
WE DON'T NEED THE MONEY.
237
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:44,382
UH,
IT DOES BUY HAPPINESS.
238
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,251
YEAH, BUT SOMETHING'S
GOT TO CHANGE.
239
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,887
I-I MEAN, IF I'M NOT GONNA GET
A SECOND HUSBAND [CHUCKLES]
240
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,389
I MIGHT NEED
A SECOND CAREER.
241
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,892
WELL, IT'S A BIG DECISION.
IT'S YOUR DECISION.
242
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,394
WHATEVER YOU DO,
I'LL SUPPORT YOU.
REALLY?
243
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,463
YEAH, I'LL HAVE TO.
WE'LL ONLY HAVE ONE INCOME.
244
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,873
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
HEY, MR. ALZATE.
245
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,309
YEAH.
UH, I NEED SOME TIME OFF TODAY
TO GO TO THE POLLS.
246
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,911
OH, GOOD, GOOD.
247
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,313
YOU HAVE SOME BIG CHOICES.
YOU VOTING FOR HICKENLOOPER?
248
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:19,784
UH, NICE TRY, BUT, NO, I WON'T
BE VOTING FOR HICKENLOOPER.
249
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,621
I'LL BE VOTING
FOR A REAL PERSON.
250
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:25,957
NO, HE IS REAL, KYLE.
HE'S OUR GOVERNOR.
251
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,160
RIGHT,
THE GOVERNOR OF FLOOBERTOWN,
252
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,630
WHERE
I BUY MY GLOOMPIES!
253
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,499
I'M SO GLAD
I DID TWO TOURS IN VIETNAM
254
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:37,402
TO PROTECT
YOUR SACRED RIGHT TO VOTE.
255
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,904
TAKE AN EXTRA HOUR
AT LUNCH.
256
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:42,240
THANKS. I'M DRIVING MY GRANDMA
ON MY MOTORCYCLE.
257
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,908
AND I HAVE TO GO SLOW.
258
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,311
SHE'S AN OLDER WOMAN.
IT'S TOUGH HOLDING ON.
259
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,179
OH, NO,
SHE'S STRONG AS AN OX.
260
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,281
WHEN SHE PUTS HER ARMS
AROUND ME,
261
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:53,018
I-I KEEP HAVING TO
SWAT HER HANDS.
262
00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:57,188
SOMETIMES SHE FORGETS
I'M HER GRANDSON.
263
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,957
THANKS, MR. ALZATE.
264
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,993
MORNING, MR. B.
MORNING.
265
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:05,530
OH, MIKEY, WOMEN GET STRANGER
AS THEY GET OLDER.
266
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,532
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
MY WIFE JUST LAID THIS ON ME.
267
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,967
SHE WANTS TO
QUIT HER JOB.
268
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,335
COME ON.
YEAH.
269
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,704
REALLY? I WOULDN'T
HAVE SEEN THAT COMING.
270
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:16,708
I THOUGHT SHE LOVED
WORKING WITH DOLPHINS.
271
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,878
MY WIFE'S A GEOLOGIST.
OH.
272
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,714
SHE'S JUST TIRED
OF GETTING BULLIED AROUND
BY THE ENVIRONMENTALISTS.
273
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:25,050
SHE WAS BETTER OFF
WITH DOLPHINS.
274
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:31,122
ALL RIGHT, MY ADVICE -- URGE
VANESSA TO FIND A NEW JOB FIRST.
275
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,957
JUST STALL THIS THING.
AND WHO KNOWS?
276
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,793
SHE EVEN MAY GO BACK
TO TEACHING FISH
277
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,995
HOW TO JUMP
THROUGH HOOPS.
278
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:40,131
OR SHE COULD
BECOME A GEOLOGIST.
279
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,734
ANOTHER GOOD CAREER.
280
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:47,872
THANKS FOR VOTING!
COME AGAIN!
281
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,241
BUT NOT TODAY,
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE ILLEGAL.
282
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,178
SO DON'T COME AGAIN UNTIL THE
NEXT TIME THAT WE ELECT THINGS.
283
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,714
UH...
[ CHUCKLES ]
284
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,882
HEY, I HOPE
YOU'RE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.
285
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,151
UM, YEAH.
DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE.
286
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,087
I TOOK AN OATH.
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
287
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:05,023
ALSO,
I FORGOT MY EARBUDS.
288
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:09,194
[ GROANS ]
KIND OF A SAD TURNOUT.
289
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,730
THINK IT'S TIME TO BUST OUT
THE OTHER KIND OF POLE, HMM?
290
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,200
ALL RIGHT,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
291
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,202
IT'S MY SCHOOL.
I STOPPED BY AFTER PRACTICE.
292
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:20,872
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW,
UH, MEASURE C's DOING?
293
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,241
I CAN'T ANSWER
THAT QUESTION.
294
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,576
THAT'S GOT TO BE
THE MILLIONTH TIME
295
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,910
YOU'VE SAID THAT
IN A CLASSROOM.
296
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,011
I'M SURPRISED
BALLOONS DIDN'T FALL.
297
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,346
[ LAUGHS ]
298
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,415
LISTEN, I JUST
REALLY NEED TO KNOW
299
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,418
THAT MEASURE "C" IS TANKING,
OKAY? ART MUST DIE.
300
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,787
WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THE OTHER KIDS
WHO WOULD BENEFIT?
301
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,689
I'M NOT BLOWING
MY SHOT AT WEST POINT
302
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:39,390
JUST 'CAUSE
I CAN'T DRAW A HORSE.
303
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:43,061
I MEAN,
WHO HAS LEGS LIKE THAT?
304
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,531
UH, WHAT?
SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
305
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,633
MEASURE "C"
WILL WRECK THE ECONOMY?!
306
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:51,636
WHAT?!
HEY, NO.
NO ELECTIONEERING AT THE POLLS.
307
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:53,304
TELL HER.
DO YOUR JOB.
308
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,540
I-I'M GOING.
I JUST THINK IT'S INTERESTING
309
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,609
THAT MEASURE "C"
IS BACKED BY ISIS!
310
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,380
OKAY, DEMOCRACY
IS NO JOKE, MANDY.
311
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,917
THESE RULES MUST BE ENFORCED.
CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY BALLOT?
312
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,786
ACTUALLY...NO.
313
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,454
YOU DON'T LIVE
IN THIS DISTRICT.
314
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,822
WHAT? UH...
315
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,323
NO, BUT MY NAME
IS STILL ON THE VOTER ROLLS.
316
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,225
"KRISTIN BAXTER,"
R-RIGHT THERE.
317
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:17,061
AT MOM AND DAD'S ADDRESS,
WHERE YOU DON'T LIVE ANYMORE.
318
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,263
YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING.
319
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:21,132
DEMOCRACY'S NO JOKE,
KRISTIN.
320
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,802
OH, COME ON.
I AM YOUR SISTER.
321
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,704
YEAH, THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA HAS NO SISTER.
322
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,507
MAYBE ENGLAND.
323
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,043
NO, THAT'S REALLY MORE LIKE
OUR GAY COUSIN, ACTUALLY.
324
00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,346
YOU HAVE TO GO VOTE
IN YOUR OWN DISTRICT.
325
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,116
WHAT? BUT THE POLLS
ARE ABOUT TO CLOSE.
DON'T MAKE ME CALL SECURITY.
326
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,485
IT'S THAT WEIRD CROSSING GUARD
WHO LIKES TO STARE AT MY FEET.
327
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,654
[ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING.
328
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,456
MM-HMM, YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
AND THAT IS HOW YOU WORK A POLL!
329
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,092
YES! WHOO!
330
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,527
I AM SO SORRY.
331
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,595
I'M JUST HEARING IT NOW
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
332
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,664
I'M SO SORRY.
333
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,832
[ INSTRUMENTS PLAYING ]
334
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,133
HEY, EVE.
335
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,468
OH, HEY, CAMMY.
SORRY.
336
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,470
UM, CAN YOU TEACH ME
HOW TO DRAW A HORSE?
337
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,773
UM, I DON'T KNOW.
I'D HAVE TO SEE THE HORSE FIRST.
338
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,174
[ SIGHS ]
339
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,443
MINE ALWAYS END UP
LOOKING LIKE DOGS ON STILTS.
340
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,845
LET'S JUST HOPE
MEASURE "C" FAILS
341
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,379
AND KILLS THE ARTS PROGRAM,
RIGHT?
342
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,781
[ CHUCKLES ] YEAH.
343
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:12,650
UH, WAIT.
UM, ISN'T MUSIC AN ART?
344
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,987
UM...NOT THE WAY
THE SCHOOL BAND DOES IT.
345
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,289
BUT I NEED SCHOOL BAND.
346
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,658
I'M COUNTING ON AN OBOE
SCHOLARSHIP FOR COLLEGE.
347
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,293
I THOUGHT
THAT WAS SAD ENOUGH,
348
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,128
AND NOW
I MIGHT NOT EVEN GET THAT?
349
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,064
OOH,
I'M REALLY SORRY.
350
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,368
ANY CHANCE THEY'D CANCEL
FOOTBALL INSTEAD?
351
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,903
[ Chuckling ] UH...
352
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,239
I THINK YOU'RE BLOWING
ON THAT THING TOO HARD.
353
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,483
HOW DID IT GO
AT THE POLLS?
354
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:50,154
WHEW. WELL, EVE WILL BE HAPPY.
MEASURE "C" LOST.
355
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,423
OHH.
UM, AND SO DID...
356
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:55,093
[ HUMS "THE ALPHABET SONG" ]
♪ "E," "F," AND "G" ♪
357
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:59,197
WHAT A SHAME. WOW. THOSE KIDS
WILL HAVE TO STAY AT TAFT.
358
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,732
HMM.
YEAH. ELECTION DAY IS,
LIKE, THE ONLY DAY
359
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,533
SOME OF THESE OLD PEOPLE
GET OUT OF THEIR HOUSE.
360
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,202
IT'S LIKE
THEY'VE GOT FOUR YEARS
361
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,037
OF BOTTLED-UP STUFF
TO TALK ABOUT.
362
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:08,239
GUESS WHO'S IN
THAT LINE OF FIRE.
363
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:12,243
SORRY, I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE
NICE TO DROP BY AND CATCH UP.
364
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:16,214
OH, NOT YOU, MOM. I'M TALKING
ABOUT THE SAD PEOPLE.
365
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:17,715
YOU KNOW, THE ONES
WHO TALK ABOUT, LIKE,
366
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,050
WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE
WITH THEIR LIVES,
367
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,419
BUT THEY DIDN'T,
AND NOW IT'S TOO LATE.
368
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,622
BUT YOU'RE NOT LIKE THAT.
369
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:27,225
HI, HONEY.
370
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,527
HEY. HI. HOW, UH --
HOW WAS WORK?
371
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,130
JOBS ARE GREAT.
372
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,898
VERY FULFILLING.
373
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:37,435
REALLY? DID SOMEBODY COME IN
AND BUY ALL YOUR GUNS?
374
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,038
IF SO, YOU MIGHT
WANT TO TELL THE AUTHORITIES.
375
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,040
JUST GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE
A JOB THAT I LOVE.
376
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,208
AND I KNOW HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS
NOT TO HAVE THAT.
377
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,910
I APPRECIATE
YOU SAYING THAT, MIKE.
378
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:48,546
AND IF YOU WANT TO QUIT,
I'M BEHIND YOU.
THANK YOU.
379
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,948
BUT I WOULD LIKE
TO SAY ONE THING.
380
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,716
OH, BOY. OKAY.
381
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,918
I-I DON'T THINK THAT YOU SHOULD,
UH, GIVE THEM NOTICE
382
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,753
TILL YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE,
YOU KNOW?
383
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,155
YOU SHOULDN'T
LET GO OF ONE THING
384
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,456
TILL YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER
TO GRAB ONTO.
385
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,759
IT'S LIKE ROCK-CLIMBING
OR WIVES.
386
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,728
I AGREE. I SHOULDN'T BE RUNNING
AWAY FROM SOMETHING,
387
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,096
BUT RUNNING TO SOMETHING,
388
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,764
SOMETHING I REALLY,
REALLY CARE ABOUT.
389
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,766
AND THERE'S REALLY
NO HURRY.
390
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,002
I MEAN, YOU CAN DO IT
ANYTIME YOU WANT.
I'VE GOT SOMETHING.
391
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,471
DIDN'T TAKE MUCH TIME.
392
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,774
I WANT TO TEACH.
393
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,576
I LIKE THAT A LOT.
394
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:22,246
THAT MEANS I COULD SLEEP WITH
A COLLEGE PROFESSOR...AGAIN.
395
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:25,583
MAYBE THIS TIME,
IT'LL IMPROVE MY GRADE A LITTLE.
396
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,685
ACTUALLY,
I WANT TO TEACH
397
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:30,088
AT A PLACE
THAT I CAN DO A LOT OF GOOD.
398
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,824
I LIKE THAT IDEA. IT'S GREAT.
I WANT TO TEACH SCIENCE
AT A PLACE THAT REALLY NEEDS ME.
399
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,926
GOOD.
YEAH, LIKE TAFT.
400
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,528
Y-YEAH, YEAH. THAT...
401
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,263
WHAT, UH --
W-WHAT DO YOU THINK?
402
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:41,199
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S, UH --
403
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,701
FOR SOMEBODY ELSE'S WIFE,
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
404
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,169
NO, TAFT IS A PLACE
405
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,871
WHERE A TEACHER
CAN REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE,
406
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,639
YOU KNOW, L-LIKE
IN "DANGEROUS MINDS."
407
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,008
OH, YOU ARE NOT GONNA
WIN THIS ARGUMENT
408
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,477
BY CITING THE LEAST SEXY
MICHELLE PFEIFFER MOVIE.
409
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,345
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WE WERE HAVING AN ARGUMENT.
410
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,680
YOU KNOW WHAT IT'D BE LIKE
TEACHING AT TAFT?
411
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,315
WHAT?
PICTURE THIS.
412
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,717
YOU WALK INTO THE CLASSROOM.
THEY'RE DISSECTING A CAT.
413
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,185
OKAY.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
414
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,987
IT'S ENGLISH CLASS!
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
415
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,822
AND IT'S YOUR CAT!
OH, STOP.
416
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,457
IT'S A TOUGH SCHOOL.
YOU'RE GONNA BE DISAPPOINTED.
NO.
417
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,792
YOU'RE GONNA BE
REAL FRUSTRATED.
418
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:09,660
YEAH, YOU MEAN
LIKE AT MY JOB NOW?
419
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,629
YEAH, BUT FOR
A LOT LESS MONEY. LOOK,
I'M JUST SPIT-BALLING HERE.
420
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:14,232
BUT WHAT ABOUT, UH,
TRAINING DOLPHINS?
421
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,135
HEY.
HEY.
422
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,137
HI.
HI, GUYS.
HI. HAVE YOU HEARD?
423
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,471
YEAH.
MEASURE "C" LOST.
424
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,906
HOW ABOUT A GLASS
OF COMMISERATION?
425
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,909
OF COURSE.
YEAH, IT'S A REAL SHAME
426
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,712
HOW THIS WHOLE THING
PLAYED OUT.
427
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,313
DON'T EVEN TRY IT.
428
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,050
SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW,
CAROL?
429
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,018
WELL, TAFT CONTINUES
TO LIMP ALONG,
430
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,820
TEST SCORES DROP,
TEACHERS LEAVE,
431
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,822
AND ON AND ON.
Mike:
IT'S JUST A CHALLENGE.
432
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,157
I DON'T EVEN THINK
433
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,192
MICHELLE PFEIFFER
COULD HANDLE THIS ONE.
434
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,360
OH, DON'T SAY THAT,
MIKE.
435
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,028
IF MOVIES
HAVE TAUGHT US ANYTHING,
436
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,697
IT'S THAT BLACK PEOPLE RELY
ON TOUGH-TALKING WHITE LADIES
437
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,434
TO STEP IN
AND STRAIGHTEN OUT OUR LIVES!
438
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:53,404
I WAS JUST TELLING MIKE
439
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,606
THAT I'VE DECIDED
TO BECOME A TEACHER,
440
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,576
AND THAT I MIGHT LIKE TO TEACH
AT A PLACE LIKE TAFT.
441
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,012
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
442
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:02,780
SERIOUSLY?
443
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,348
SERIOUSLY?
444
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,517
SEE? NOW YOU'VE GONE
AND UPSET THE LARABEES.
445
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:10,054
LISTEN, CAROL,
YOU TOLD ME YOU TAUGHT
446
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,522
AT A --
AT A TOUGH HIGH SCHOOL.
447
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,091
IT'S HARD, RIGHT?
448
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,859
WAIT.
YOU'RE NOT IN FAVOR OF THIS?
449
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,528
WELL, VANESSA, GOD BLESS YOU FOR
YOUR COMMITMENT TO OUR YOUTH.
450
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,198
LISTEN, JUST TELL HER
WHAT IT'S LIKE.
451
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,500
DON'T SUGARCOAT IT.
TELL HER WHAT SHE'S UP AGAINST.
452
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,870
WELL, THERE WERE DAYS
453
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:29,207
WHEN I PULLED INTO THE TEACHER'S
PARKING LOT AND JUST SAT THERE,
454
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:32,043
RESISTING THE URGE
TO PUT THE CAR IN REVERSE
455
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:34,479
AND GET AS FAR AWAY
AS I COULD.
456
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,781
YOU SEE THAT? AND THAT SCENE
WASN'T IN "DANGEROUS MINDS."
457
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,216
OKAY, HONEY...
458
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:42,587
BUT THEN
THERE WAS THAT DAY
459
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,755
WHEN A KID THAT
I WOULD NOT GIVE UP ON,
460
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:48,593
A KID THAT I-I PUSHED
AND DEMANDED WORK FROM...
461
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:51,629
WALKED
INTO MY CLASSROOM...
462
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:56,267
WITH AN ACCEPTANCE LETTER
FROM STANFORD UNIVERSITY...
463
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:59,737
HE SAID,
"THANK YOU, MRS. LARABEE."
464
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:03,708
AND THEN HE SHOT YOU.
465
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,782
IT'S NOT EASY.
466
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,784
BUT YOU THINK
I COULD HANDLE IT?
467
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,319
YOU HANDLE HIM.
468
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:20,958
MIKE,
I'M GONNA DO THIS.
469
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,361
I KNOW YOU ARE.
470
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:31,002
LET'S OPEN THIS UP
AND CELEBRATE! YES!
471
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,871
HEY, MIKE!
I DON'T NEED THIS.
I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW.
472
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:37,141
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO, NO, SIT BACK DOWN. I --
473
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,477
NOW THAT VANESSA'S
GONNA BE A TEACHER,
474
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,945
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO DO?
475
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,480
NO, WHAT IS IT, LARABEE?
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?
476
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,282
JOIN A UNION.
477
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:52,290
IT'S OKAY. IT'S GOOD.
I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD.
478
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,158
YOU KNOW WHY I'M GOOD?
BECAUSE --
479
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,962
BECAUSE I LOVE MY WIFE,
AND I WANT MY WIFE TO BE HAPPY.
480
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,964
WELL, AS A MAN WHO WAS MARRIED
TO A TEACHER FOR YEARS,
481
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,301
I CAN TELL YOU THE HAPPY DAYS
ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN, BUT...
482
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,704
YOU KEEP LOOKING FOR THE SILVER
LINING IN THIS THING, BAXTER.
483
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,240
GUYS,
WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
484
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:11,309
WE ALREADY HEARD THIS.
HOW MUCH OF THAT WINE YOU HAD?
485
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:14,812
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.
486
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:18,282
I'VE DECIDED
TO GO BACK TO TEACHING, TOO.
487
00:20:22,854 --> 00:20:25,056
I THINK WE FOUND
THAT SILVER LINING.
488
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,400
WELL,
YOUR WISH CAME TRUE.
489
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,270
IS PEYTON MANNING ON THE PHONE
ASKING ME TO PROM?
490
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:42,073
NO.
MEASURE "C" FAILED.
491
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:45,376
OH, JUST LIKE
THIS PICTURE YOU'RE DRAWING
492
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:50,248
OF A DINOSAUR
OR A MOUNTAIN RANGE.
493
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:53,417
IT'S A BOWL OF FRUIT.
494
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,420
THEN THIS IS ALL
FOR THE BEST.
495
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:59,390
YEAH.
496
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,092
I GUESS.
497
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,361
[ BAND PLAYING
"AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL" ]
498
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,463
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
38529
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