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1
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:22,923
- How did you find me?
2
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,291
- You gave us directions
3
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,760
- We could smell your
rotten carcass for miles.
4
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,631
Rooting out evil is what we do.
5
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,834
- I hope you don't think
I'll give up easily.
6
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,036
- Oh, I'm counting on
you putting up a fight.
7
00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:39,806
Hammer Jack?
8
00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:43,677
And Tiger Bolt?
9
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:47,147
- Are you ready for a
mouthful of justice?
10
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:50,050
- A combined 14
inches of justice.
11
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,855
- Good luck, you'll never
pin me down for I am
12
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,793
Professor Trench Bottom.
13
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,564
From the impenetrable
deep.
14
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,971
- This confession is my hardest.
15
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,673
No pun intended for once.
16
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:34,094
This has to be the
all time dumbest idea.
17
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,696
Super stupid.
18
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,197
- What are you talking about?
19
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,733
This is making money while
waiting to make more money.
20
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,269
You just like the attention.
21
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,737
I want to earn a living.
22
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,872
I need to move out of my
place sooner or later.
23
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,040
Probably sooner.
24
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,875
I can't waste my
time making 50 bucks
25
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,611
plus tips playing dress up.
26
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,547
- It's called cosplay.
27
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,384
I seriously advise you to
get an internet connection.
28
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,252
- You are so very funny.
29
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,922
- Trust me, babe. I
always get picked up here.
30
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:05,692
When these comic book geeks
see real live superheroes,
31
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,227
they can't hold back.
32
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,796
They have been jacking off to
cartoons their entire lives
33
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,567
and finally the
cartoons can jack back.
34
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:20,040
I'm Hammer Jack.
- You are sexy.
35
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,241
- It was an indoor version
36
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,977
of Hollywood and
Highland or Times Square.
37
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,279
Desperate panhandlers
and secondhand costumes
38
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:29,483
begging for attention
and spare change.
39
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,085
Listen, I appreciate you
showing me the ropes and all,
40
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,620
but I would probably
have to strike out
41
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,921
on my own eventually.
42
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,491
- If you do, that's
exactly what'll happen.
43
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,425
You'll strike out.
44
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,761
Why so little faith in me?
45
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,129
I have you branded better
46
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,730
than your confession
blogs and your Rent Me ad
47
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,265
is getting mega traffic.
48
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,234
- Yeah, and I spent half
the day fielding requests
49
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,803
for dick pics and the other
half not getting jobs.
50
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,271
- Okay, you're making
more money with me
51
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,774
than you would've without
me, even after my cut.
52
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:58,278
Be patient, young-ish Skywalker.
53
00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,279
All will be revealed.
54
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,082
- At least I look
good in spandex.
55
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,117
The diet this kid
has me on is working.
56
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,298
That picture punches
me in the gut
57
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,300
every time I walk
into this house.
58
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,471
It probably does
the same to Andrew.
59
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,307
Neither of us have had the
guts to take it the fuck down.
60
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,477
So much hope and love.
61
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,680
Youth, even though we thought
we were old back then.
62
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,218
But not seeing it would
sting more than seeing it.
63
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,957
Living with your
ex is ridiculous.
64
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,659
Sure, I have excuses.
65
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,228
The housing market,
we're trapped.
66
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,830
Besides, we're grown men.
67
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:55,902
It's all bullshit. I'm stuck
here because I wanna be.
68
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,205
X, is that you?
69
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,073
- Yeah, I didn't
know you were here.
70
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,210
- I'm all powerful.
71
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,979
There's no way to stop me
72
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:10,150
from destroying the
whole city now.
73
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,555
All he needs
is a cat to stroke.
74
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,190
- He's right, Tiger Bolt.
75
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:21,328
Maybe we can't stop
him, but we can top him.
76
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,262
- What?
77
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,264
- Yes, two simple injections.
78
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,267
One from myself and one
from my true hearted friend.
79
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,570
- Brilliant idea, Hammer Jack.
80
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,872
- This energy charge
81
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,508
should make you submit
Dr. Trench Bottom.
82
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,876
Whoosh.
83
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,511
- Oh!
84
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:42,516
Can't resist the power.
85
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,452
- Quick, Tiger Bolt, the serum.
86
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,753
- Jam it in his weak spot.
87
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,689
- Must remain strong.
88
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,560
- Quick, Tiger Bolt.
Time is running out.
89
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,531
- No.
90
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,734
No, you're not
Rubber Man, you're...
91
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,636
I don't want the condoms, guys.
92
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,706
- You're frozen for one
second, Trench Bottom.
93
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,080
He likes it raw.
94
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,582
- That's none of my business.
95
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,251
- But he's so adorably
old. How can you say no?
96
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:21,388
- Easy, no. Superheroes
put safety first.
97
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,923
- Calm down. You're
on PrEP, right?
98
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,292
- Yes, I'm on PrEP, but I'm
also on the original PrEP.
99
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,127
I have safe sex.
100
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,462
- Yay, the 80s.
101
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,432
You're topping him. Can't
you just go with the flow?
102
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:33,767
- There was no doubting it.
103
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:37,337
This kid was a genius in
some ways, an evil genius.
104
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,273
But in that moment it
was painfully obvious
105
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,908
he was also a kid.
106
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,110
Look, all I can say
is with great power
107
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,613
comes great responsibility.
108
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:49,349
- Fine, we'll work around it.
109
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,619
Just don't let him see you
put the fucking thing on.
110
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,288
- Your ice grip wore off.
111
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,992
You'll have to catch me if
you're gonna stop.
112
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:06,499
- This job just went 60/40.
113
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:09,135
Not so fast, Trench Bottom.
114
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,643
- My high school guidance
counselor would be so proud.
115
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,152
Don't you ever wonder
what you're gonna do
116
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,053
with the rest of your life
117
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,856
when you realize you're
over doing stuff like this?
118
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,525
- Nope because
probably, like you,
119
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:33,960
I will be doing it anyway.
120
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,662
- My own personal Yoda.
121
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:36,963
I'm so over this.
122
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,666
I could make more money
selling actual wieners.
123
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,068
- God, you are such a nag.
124
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,737
These pictures are free ads.
125
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,172
Just make sure these guys
are tagging you on Instagram.
126
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,008
All of their friends
are gonna wanna fuck you
127
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,076
and their friends are gonna
share it with their friends
128
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,245
and their friends' friends
will wanna fuck you, too.
129
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,813
And once these friends
130
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,348
and their friends' friends
start looking up your accounts
131
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:59,219
and realizing that they can
fuck you, you'll be cashing in.
132
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,820
It's simple math.
133
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,023
- Sounds like a
fucking pyramid scam.
134
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:06,026
- Exactly. A fucking pyramid.
135
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,868
- I'm confused about
when you need the place.
136
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,369
Hard to keep track.
137
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,737
- It's not that complicated.
138
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,108
You look thin. Are you sick?
139
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,410
- Thank you.
140
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,245
It's part of the whole
diet-exercise I'm doing.
141
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,881
I wanna look so gaunt,
people worry I'm dying.
142
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,716
- I thought the goal
was to have muscles.
143
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,217
- That, too.
144
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:33,286
I want to be transparently
thin while having big biceps.
145
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,388
Who says you can't have it all?
146
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,123
- You hungry?
147
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,293
- Are we good?
148
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,729
You told your friend no rubbers.
149
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,597
- Obviously the serum won't work
150
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,399
if we can't inject it into you.
151
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:48,902
- Inject me.
152
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,403
Shoot me raw.
153
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,575
Call me old-fashioned,
154
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,777
but HIV isn't the
only thing out there.
155
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,781
And resisting incurable
gonorrhea is not my superpower.
156
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,617
- Oh god, that feels so good.
157
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:10,623
So natural.
158
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,900
- I remember when gay
people were way too cool
159
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,669
to be proud nerds.
160
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,838
Maybe we were just
overcompensating
161
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,574
for being tormented 24/7.
162
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,809
Now we're free to put on tights
163
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:33,613
and revel in superhero
fandoms with reckless abandon.
164
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:34,914
Maybe I'm jealous.
165
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,950
Maybe I just wish I
could love something
166
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,953
as passionately as
whatever this guy's into
167
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,126
- While you were in the
John, I got us something.
168
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,027
An old guy waiting
for John Barrowman
169
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,295
wants to have a three-way.
170
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,663
$600 each.
171
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,632
- There was a time I
wouldn't get into bed
172
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:56,336
for under $1000, but these
days $600 is generous.
173
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,839
I mean, fitness models
only make $350 on Rent Me.
174
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,274
- He probably just
wants to play dress up
175
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,309
and slide up and
down our bat poles.
176
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,622
- I have news.
177
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,390
- I am not ready to
hear about a boyfriend.
178
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,858
Don't be a boyfriend.
179
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,326
You have a boyfriend?
180
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,829
No. God no, I wish.
181
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,564
No.
182
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,334
I lost my job.
183
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,171
- Shit, I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
184
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:31,971
I'm all right.
185
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,240
It's was two weeks ago.
186
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,915
- Thank you boys.
187
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,550
It was worth every penny.
188
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,687
- I need to use the bathroom
to wash off my dick.
189
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,088
- Down the halt to the left.
190
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:55,695
You'll be fine.
191
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:57,931
I'm undetectable.
192
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,700
Don't look so mortified.
193
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,504
I'm undetectable, he's on
PrEP, you wore a condom.
194
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,772
I could tell.
195
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,707
- Your ass is that sensitive?
196
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,576
- I could see it in your face.
197
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,679
Plus, I just saw you slip a
used condom in your pocket.
198
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,548
Can I have it?
199
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:19,519
- Sure.
200
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,455
It's all yours.
201
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,463
- No one's gonna catch anything.
202
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:35,101
Don't you stay up on this
stuff? You of all people should.
203
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,237
- I do read all the
latest literature.
204
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,071
It's just...
205
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,109
I don't park my Peter
without its costume on.
206
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,445
I stopped taking risks
when I was with someone
207
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,980
and I've kept it up since.
208
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,249
It's my policy.
209
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,718
- I'm not trying to
be a bad influence.
210
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,288
Kids like Chayce
don't really get it,
211
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,557
but you and I both
lived through the 90s
212
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,292
when people were still dying.
213
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,928
I thought I was gonna die.
214
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,432
I moved in with my
mother 25 years ago
215
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:11,104
so she could be there
when I passed on.
216
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,241
I rarely left the house.
217
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,911
Just read my comics.
218
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,780
And I was a saint.
219
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:25,451
No sex for 24 years.
220
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:31,124
Turns out I was there
when she passed last year
221
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:39,632
and I realized my mother,
the house, the HIV,
222
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,202
none of that controlled me.
223
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,205
It was me.
224
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,475
I wasn't letting myself have sex
225
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,978
because I felt like
I didn't deserve it.
226
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,983
- Well, you're doing
an excellent job
227
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:59,152
in making up for lost time.
228
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,889
- Are you slut shaming me?
- No, no, I'm impressed.
229
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,292
- It doesn't take superhuman
powers of perception
230
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,995
to see that you're
in the same boat.
231
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,698
You're denying
yourself something
232
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,033
because you think
you don't deserve it.
233
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,676
- Well tune in next week.
234
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,549
- This is all very
touching and sweet,
235
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,652
but Harris, do you have
our, you know, cash?
236
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,420
We saved the day and
we need our loot.
237
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,922
- Can you do PayPal?
238
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,256
- Of course.
239
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,091
- We can?
240
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:38,925
- Oh my God.
241
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:48,034
- So, what have you been
doing with your days?
242
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,503
- You're looking at it.
243
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,605
Sitting, eating.
244
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,742
Wondering what the
hell I'm gonna do.
245
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,177
- I could make some calls.
246
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,881
- I don't need your help.
- I'm just trying to be nice.
247
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,717
- I'm sorry. I mean I don't
need help finding a job.
248
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,219
I got an inbox full of these.
249
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:09,288
I just, I don't
think I want one.
250
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,191
- Nobody wants a job.
251
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,693
- I feel like I've
been living this life.
252
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,562
It isn't mine yet. Waiting
for my real life to kick in.
253
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,599
But this is it.
254
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,768
This is my life.
255
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,737
And it's passing
by and I still have
256
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,539
so much shit to figure out.
257
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,412
- Yeah. I know what you mean.
258
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:34,881
- Do you?
259
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:38,751
- We've been in this
limbo for way too long
260
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:39,819
and it's my fault.
261
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,457
- We can't keep going like this.
262
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,427
Living together, broken up.
263
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,264
I feel like I'm walking
down a long hallway,
264
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,265
looking for a door.
265
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:55,835
- You're right.
266
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:57,804
We can't.
267
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:04,177
It's just, I had a bit
of an epiphany tonight.
268
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,347
I realized I was doing something
or not doing something,
269
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,984
mainly because I was thinking
about how it could affect you,
270
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:13,753
even if it only affected me.
271
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,089
Does that make any sense?
272
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:18,491
- Yes.
273
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,027
That's what couples do.
274
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,330
- No, it, it's more than that.
275
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,434
You're in my head, Andrew.
276
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:33,973
A piece of you is in every
single thought I have.
277
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:36,976
I can't look at the world
278
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,145
without seeing it
through your eyes.
279
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,649
Breaking up with
you was a mistake.
280
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:48,187
It's like I'm trying to
tear off a piece of myself.
281
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,789
It's ridiculous.
282
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,392
Let's figure this out together.
283
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,567
- Is that spandex?
284
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:16,182
If you said this a month
ago, even a week ago,
285
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,984
we'd go straight to make up sex.
286
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:25,424
But X, I am this close
to getting over you.
287
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,561
I can see the door at
the end of the hallway
288
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,164
and I need to open it.
289
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,200
I need to figure myself out
290
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,601
or else we're just gonna wind up
291
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,236
right back in the
same situation.
292
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:47,046
And I need to do this
not living with you.
293
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:54,720
- You're right.
294
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,132
That's it.
295
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,401
That's my confession.
296
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,574
Tell me, are there enough
Hail Mary's in the world
297
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:15,575
to make up for this?
21413
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