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1
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,777
Houses in the
suburbs are the worst.
2
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,614
Most suburban guys wanna meet
any place but their home.
3
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,616
The ones who are cocky
enough to have you show up
4
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,017
right at their front door
5
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,854
are 80 to 90% guaranteed
to be assholes.
6
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:29,663
- Yes?
7
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,766
- Sorry, I think I
have the wrong house.
8
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,001
- Are you X?
9
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:36,670
- Okay, maybe I don't.
10
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:38,939
- I'm Sarah.
11
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,609
- This was the moment I
decided to kill Chayse.
12
00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:47,281
- Okay, follow me.
13
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,292
- You're gonna love
this new client.
14
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,559
A real pussy.
15
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,831
You can never do
too many pull ups,
16
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:08,635
and by that I mean
specifically you can't.
17
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,538
- I think this is
called bullying.
18
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,046
Welcome to the kill room.
19
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:22,316
Believe it or not, I'm a
virgin in the biblical sense.
20
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,484
I've done every conceivable
thing with a man
21
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:26,853
but never has my penis
ever made contact
22
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,822
with any part of a woman.
23
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,057
I'm hoping that Sarah, here,
24
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,059
just wants to watch
me bang her husband.
25
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:35,729
- Here he is.
26
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,902
This is Amelia, my wife.
27
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,439
- Hi.
28
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,384
- You cannot bring tricks here.
29
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,052
- What?
30
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,587
- No more in calls.
31
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:01,955
I didn't even know
you did those.
32
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,256
- I don't.
33
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,759
I mean, I did once,
but that was special.
34
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,060
How did you even know?
35
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,295
- I heard you last night.
36
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,231
- You were here?
37
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,432
- Oh, I was here.
38
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:13,734
What the fuck was that?
39
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,202
- You were supposed
to be out on a date.
40
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,738
- I was out on a date, and
it was a really good date.
41
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,439
And I remember you
said you had to work
42
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:22,275
so I assumed you'd be
in a hotel, or an alley,
43
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,378
or a ditch, or wherever
you turn tricks.
44
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:29,116
So we progressed
to here, my home,
45
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,984
where my ex-boyfriend
is screaming the N word
46
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,319
and doing Lord
knows what kind of
47
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,255
"12 Years a Slave" shit in here.
48
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,091
- I'm sorry.
49
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,296
- And yes, my date ditched me.
50
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,803
- Would you like
something to drink?
51
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,271
- No, thanks.
52
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,774
Everyone knows you never
accept drinks from a client.
53
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:54,808
- I'm gonna need one.
54
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,080
- So, the obvious question...
55
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,450
- Why would two old
married women hire a man?
56
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:04,785
- Yeah, that's the one.
57
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,119
- We are not trying
to get pregnant,
58
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,854
if that's what
you're worried about.
59
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,994
- I think I will
have one of those.
60
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,596
- They don't seem like the
types to slip me a Mickey
61
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,532
and freeze parts of
me in Tupperware.
62
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,501
I think I will
have some of that.
63
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,809
He begged me to call him that.
64
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,545
He paid me, he was black.
65
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,948
- How could you agree to that?
66
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,116
- Well, he said
it would be racist
67
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,384
if I didn't call him that.
68
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,887
- I wish there was an
Obama speech on YouTube
69
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,657
I could play to explain why,
70
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:47,027
but no, there is no situation
where it would be racist
71
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,463
if you didn't use the N word.
72
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,031
- You had to be there.
73
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,199
- I was there.
74
00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,906
- So it's our anniversary,
75
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,742
and we thought we'd try
something different.
76
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,011
And we've always
liked gay porn, so...
77
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,913
- Sarah's never been with a man.
78
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,850
I have. College,
women's college.
79
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,219
But they always know where
to find you, don't they?
80
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:15,722
Not an ideal experience,
but at least I tried it.
81
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,090
- Bi-curious?
82
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,427
- Bisexual. But I've only
been with women really.
83
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,063
- I arranged this
because I refuse
84
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,499
to be complicit in bi-erasure.
85
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,601
- Not that every
bisexual needs to be
86
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,036
with both men and women.
87
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,204
We're just...
88
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,707
- We're horny.
- Yeah.
89
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,610
- So are you cool with just
basically being our dildo?
90
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,045
- It's a living.
91
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,628
- Did that turn you on?
92
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,732
- To be honest, most
of my clients are men.
93
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,300
- I told you he'd be gay.
94
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,402
- That doesn't mean I can't
give you what you want.
95
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:04,404
- Whoa, don't need to
mansplain the spectrum
96
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,972
of human sexuality to us.
97
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,074
- Amelia, he's just
trying to help.
98
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,910
- You do realize it looks like
99
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,611
you're about to murder
someone in here.
100
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,548
- In my experience, guys
tend to leave cum and lube
101
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,715
all over the place.
102
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,484
- In the one
experience you've had?
103
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,719
- And in the gay
porn that we enjoy.
104
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,121
- No need to worry.
105
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,089
The only thing that's
getting murdered up in here
106
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,491
is my pussy.
107
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,828
You have been with
women before, right?
108
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,097
- Honestly...
109
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,268
- Shut the fuck up.
110
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,672
Now I'm interested.
111
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,478
- I have sex with
women all the time.
112
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,647
- For money?
- Not always.
113
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:52,118
- So, do you consider
yourself bisexual?
114
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:55,355
- No. I consider myself sexual.
115
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,624
A very sexual homosexual.
116
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,699
- Definitely not one of
those gay guys who goes,
117
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:09,202
"Ew, women," but I'm
definitely a Kinsey six.
118
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,837
No interest whatsoever.
119
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,005
- Well, you've had
sex with guys you had
120
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,773
zero attraction to, right?
121
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,108
So, why not a girl?
122
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,009
- But, they're guy.
123
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,144
So there isn't zero attraction.
124
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:21,548
I can find something in
any man, some attribute,
125
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,351
physical or emotional,
that I think is hot.
126
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:27,354
I concentrate on that
and then I fuck it.
127
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,389
- And you can't do
that with a girl?
128
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,192
- No, it'd be like my
mom walking in the room.
129
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,661
- But if you had
a female client...
130
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,330
- Well, money
changes everything.
131
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,833
I think I could manage it.
132
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,568
Just hasn't happened yet.
133
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,641
- Is it in?
134
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:48,875
- I don't know.
135
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:51,678
- How could you not know?
136
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,046
- Look, I know
it's in something,
137
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,514
I just don't know what.
138
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,216
- You're the professional.
139
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,517
- Maybe it's not hard.
140
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,352
- Well, yeah, it is
a little squishy.
141
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,353
- It's hard.
142
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,088
- Here, let me.
143
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,533
It's hard, all right.
144
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,168
- Okay, that's inside.
145
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,543
- All right, baby.
Ride that cock.
146
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,379
- Yeah, no.
147
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,748
I'm remembering college,
flunking chemistry.
148
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:31,551
Fighting with that passive
aggressive roommate of mine.
149
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,952
What a bitch.
150
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,690
Honey, it's all you, babe.
151
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:37,557
Happy anniversary.
152
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,771
- All right.
153
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,239
I think it's in.
154
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,741
- Just a note.
155
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,043
You don't have to say everything
you're thinking out loud.
156
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:58,745
- Oh.
157
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,885
- I'm sending you an address.
158
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,320
- It's not a woman, is it?
159
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,555
- No, it's not
160
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:10,323
a woman.
161
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:15,295
- Shit, this is in 30 minutes.
162
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,497
♪ I got it, I got it
163
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,432
♪ Got it like a mother
164
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,267
What's the deal with
the whole working out
165
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,670
and taking off your clothes
in front of me routine?
166
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,305
- I'm giving you a goal.
167
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,307
Consider me the picture
on your refrigerator.
168
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:31,678
♪ I feel like it's my birthday
169
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,587
- Cherry Garcia, that's funny.
170
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,123
'Cause we both just
lost our cherries.
171
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,290
- That hardly counts.
172
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,292
- It went inside.
173
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:47,627
You get a vag-badge.
174
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,029
- Inside? There's a lot
more to it than that.
175
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,297
- Amelia's right.
176
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,532
Technically it went inside,
177
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,667
but I don't think I
got a single thrust in.
178
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,803
Is that sex?
179
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,838
- If it's not sex, do
we have to pay you?
180
00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:01,474
- I don't get paid for the
sex, I get paid for the time.
181
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,976
- I'm gonna say it counts.
182
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,811
'Cause I'm not sure if we're
ever gonna do this again.
183
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,312
- Thank God.
184
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:10,016
- No hard feelings
at all, actually.
185
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,536
- What are you doing?
186
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:32,038
Pull-ups. You can never
do too many pull-ups.
187
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:34,073
I mean, it feels like
you're showing off.
188
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:37,677
- Sorry.
189
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,320
- Okay, I can't stop
thinking about this.
190
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,088
I have to ask you something.
191
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:52,525
- As long as it's
not about the...
192
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:53,493
- It is.
193
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,528
It's about the guy and the word.
194
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,999
So just tell me, in the
context of the situation,
195
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,702
no one can hear you guys.
196
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,105
Did you enjoy it?
197
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,274
Just being able to
scream the word out loud?
198
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,376
- No.
199
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,579
God, I hope that's true.
200
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,048
I won't be doing it again.
201
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,053
- Fair enough.
202
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,723
Let's just put it behind us.
203
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:25,391
- Deal.
204
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,395
I know you don't like
to hear any details,
205
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,064
but I had my first
female client.
206
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,734
Two, actually.
207
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:35,869
Can you believe that?
208
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,370
- No, I can't.
209
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,573
How was it?
210
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,377
- Easier than I
thought it would be.
211
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,280
- Hmm.
212
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:54,487
- You know what? I'm
gonna give it to you.
213
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,957
I'm gonna say this
counts as sex.
214
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,492
- What made you come around?
215
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,562
- Well, I asked myself, "What's
the worst sex I ever had?"
216
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:03,830
This wasn't it.
217
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,999
I'm flattered.
218
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,469
- The worst sex was with a
bagger from Trader Joe's.
219
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,170
- Oh God, don't
even say her name.
220
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,640
- And we did less, a lot less.
221
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:18,645
And I have always considered
that very sad encounter sex.
222
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,113
So, why not this?
223
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,414
- I appreciate it.
224
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,619
- So tell me, X, which I'm
sure is your real name.
225
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,023
You ever gonna go pink again?
226
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,293
- Probably, I'm shocked
it hasn't come up sooner
227
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,128
so why not?
228
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,462
- I knew you were a bisexual
229
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,131
the minute you
walked in the door.
230
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,266
- For you, who wouldn't be?
16092
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