Original subtitles

Since 1970, the federal witness protection program

has relocated thousands of witnesses

to neighborhoods all across the country,

some criminal, some not.

Every one of these individuals

shares a unique attribute,

distinguishing them from the rest of the general population,

and that is, somebody wants them dead.

As you know, my "friend" has been quite ill.

One day, he's the picture of health.

The next, he's contracted

a terminal case of pain in my ass.

So I only pray he doesn't linger.

Yeah, you know, I'm not a doctor,

but it sounds to me like your friend,

he could be gone by the end of the week.

Would you mind holding this for me, please?

Thanks.

So, uh, anyway, your boss--Lola, right?

Uh, Lola's not--yeah-- not my boss.

She's my client, all right?

I negotiate all of her-- all of her deals for her.

Sure.

Could I meet her?

Oh, absolutely, absolutely.

But it'll be the...

Last person you ever meet.

Okay, so, uh,

I will meet you here on Tuesday,

after your friend passes, for the rest.

Same time.

Hey, don't you want to count it?

Why?

If it's short, your friend lives, and you don't.

FBI, smart ass.

Half-caf-triple-cap- heavy-foam.

Who died?

What?

Can't one co-worker treat another co-worker

to a complicated coffee beverage?

Not when that person is you.

You're not a treater.

Not a criticism, just an observation.

Fair enough. Give me 3.50.

You didn't tip?

They pour coffee. They're not waiters.

Inspectors,

let's go.

Coming, darling.

Be there in a minute.

It's a triple macchiato for Stan.

Get four bucks.

"Dear Mr.

"In light of your impressive law enforcement background,

"we'd be honored to have you join the pinkerton team.

"As we mentioned during your interview..."

So the guy you're transporting is Horst vanderhoff.

Works for a high-priced contract killer named Lola.

As what, her pool boy, Butler, bullet holder?

Apparently he negotiates her contracts,

collects fees, etcetera,

etcetera.

So anyway, this Lola

has a couple dozen bodies to her credit,

including two judges,

and up till now she's been a ghost.

Now this guy vanderhoff

may be the only person alive that can ID her,

so needless to say, the feds are pretty anxious

to find out what he knows.

It says he's from New York.

How'd he wind up in Perryville?

Well, the FBI popped him

negotiating a hit on a Ruidoso businessman.

The deal went down five miles from the prison,

so it just made sense.

So he ID's this Lola

in exchange for witness protection?

That seems to be the plan.

Sounds pretty straightforward.

When do they need him here?

Agents are coming down from Santa fe

sometime after 6:00, so say 7:00.

But give yourselves plenty of time.

A guy got killed at the prison yesterday.

Totally unrelated

but still, security is tight.

Fine.

What's with the mood?

I have no idea.

Oh, wait,

she wanted me to get four bucks for the coffee.

Oh, well...

I'll tell you what, just give her five.

She likes it when she comes out ahead.

Hey.

Okay, obviously you want me to go on a fishing expedition

to figure out what the hell's bothering you,

but I'm not gonna play that,

so when you decide to tell me what's wrong,

you just tell me, fair enough?

Fair enough?

Don't worry about it.

In a couple months, we won't even be working together.

You read my letter.

Easy, meat and potatoes.

Ah, I'm a valuable federal resource.

Horst vanderhoff for transport.

Thanks.

Oh, great. Two more minimum-wage geniuses.

Are the feds trying to get me killed?

Do you people have any idea who Lola is?

Hey, watch it there, pervoid. I don't swing that way.

I can't believe you read my mail.

I can't believe you don't know I always read your mail.

He's diabetic?

Type I. Last page of the medical.

Yeah, that's my personal stuff.

Get a number.

I did, 20 minutes ago.

Test again. I need to know you're fit to travel.

She needs to know everything about everybody.

I could tell.

She's been undressing me with her eyes

ever since I walked out here.

Yeah, 'cause pasty accountant types

really get me crazy.

Oh, now that's just unkind.

So were you ever going to tell me?

Or was the plan just to let me figure it out

when you stopped showing up for work?

Actually, I was going to write a letter

and then mail it to myself.

That way, I'd be sure you got the news.

Stayin' alive at 105.

You know, please don't act

like you're the injured party here, okay?

At least show me that much respect.

Respect? When have you ever shown me respect?

Or anyone else for that matter?

This is fun.

Maybe you'd get respect if you ever actually

did something to earn it.

And you wonder why I didn't share

my future plans with you?

No, what I wonder is why I put up

with your insipid running commentary

for the past three years.

Come on, let's go.

Up.

Three to one, I'm dead

before we get to the car.

Yeah, brains blown out all over the parking lot,

and then the two most annoying people on the planet

bickering over my lifeless corpse.

Relax, Horst, no one knows who you are,

where you are, or where you're going.

Give me the keys. I'm driving.

Try not to drive like you stole it.

Yeah?

Bye, sweetie, I'm off to work.

Love you.

Do you want me to drive you around?

And leave you in a hot car while I hock concealers?

Hah! What kind of a mother would I be?!

The same kind you've always been.

Heard that.

Don't stay in bed all day.

We have a scheduled stop in about 45 minutes.

Well, I need to go wee-wee right now.

Hey, hold it in or hang it out the window,

'cause we're not stopping.

You know, your job transfer

is really starting to make

sense to me.

Water, juice, anything?

I'll get my own, thanks.

I wasn't talking to you.

Hey, organic.

Can you see if they have organic?

It's a gas station, numb-nuts.

Hey, how about the cuffs?

No can do.

How am I supposed to wipe?

You said you had to pee.

Yeah, well, I like to keep my options open.

Either way, no can do.

It's all yours, chief.

You're too kind.

Oh, come on, you're kidding me.

It's how we roll.

Yet another indignity

suffered at the hands of the man.

Boy, that boss of yours

she's a piece of work, isn't she?

She's not my boss. We're equals.

Yeah, right.

I mean, it's none of my business,

but how do you put up with that, huh?

You're right. It's none of your business.

I mean, admit it,

she is one of the angriest,

most controlling, most toxic women

I've ever encountered.

And I work for a female assassin.

Uh-oh.

No worries, I'll get it.

Here you go, honey.

Thanks. Have a great day.

You too.

Trust me, my friend.

Men pay good money to get rid of a woman like that.

Hey, you know, I hate to have to ask,

but these cuffs are making it kind of difficult.

Do you think you could help me out with my zipper?

Oh, isn't this awkward?

I was going to tell you.

Really, when?

I just wanted to--

I should probably check in with Stan.

Don't bother. Those mountains are full of iron.

Wreaks havoc with the radio signals.

God damn it.

No big deal. We're right on schedule.

No, look at the dash.

Oh, boy.

Better pull over before the engine seizes.

Oh, fabulous.

I get to spend even more time

with my new favorite couple.

Oh, my god.

Oh.

Hi, precious.

Hey, whatcha doin', bruin?

Oh, you know.

Just schlepping my wares in this god-awful heat.

Oh, poor baby, you must be miserable.

You know, work is work.

And I made a commitment to this thing.

Oh, I'm so proud of you for keeping that commitment.

Aw, thank you, sweetie.

I'm talking to my daughter.

Uh-huh.

Could I get you something, miss?

Sure, I'll have what she's having.

Hello, mommy.

Brandi. What are you doing here?

Don't you think that's a better question for you?

Pop the hood. I'll take a look.

Oh, man.

You see anything?

Hang on. It's complicated under here.

We've got company.

Get on the floor, Horst.

What'd you say?

Marshall!

Marshall, take cover!

Whoa, that was...

Marshall.

Marshall, Marshall, oh, my god.

Can you hear me?

Ow.

I must have bumped my head.

Yeah, that's what happened. Then you fell on a bullet.

Huh?

Doofus, you got shot.

Oh, crap.

Still nothing.

It's the hills.

No, don't anybody worry about me,

the guy you're supposed to be protecting.

I'm gonna kill him.

Shut up and get back in the car.

Here, hold this on your wound.

Press it tightly.

He's right. It's my fault.

Back at the rest stop.

She dropped a bottle under the car.

I watched him pick it up,

but he must have smeared some kind of acid

on the radiator hose.

I looked, but I didn't see anything.

Okay, come one, we've gotta try to get you up.

We've got to get you to the hospital.

You're mad, aren't you?

Not as mad as I'd be if I was the one who got shot.

I respect your honesty.

Where the hell is that gas station?

Damn it.

Come on.

Come on.

It's okay.

In about four hours,

every cop in the universe will be looking for us.

Yeah, but can you hold on that long?

I'm breathing and I haven't bled out,

which means no vital organs have been hit.

So yeah, maybe.

But this car's about to turn into a pizza oven.

We should find some shade.

You know what?

Speaking of pizza, I am so hungry.

Do you guys have anything? Chips?

Anything, really.

Here.

Hmm?

What am I, your pack mule?

Listen, we'll take it slowly.

Get the tube that connects to the windshield wiper fluid.

Okay...why?

We're gonna need it.

It shouldn't take this long

to come up with the truth.

Fine, fine, fine. You remember Dan?

Dan, the one-eyed freak, reeked of cigars and old spice?

Tough to forget.

Well...

His dog ate my samples.

A dog?

Yes.

Ate your samples?

Oh, Jesus, I actually believe you.

Mary doesn't know yet.

I still owe her $2,500.

Oh, my god.

Oh, she's gonna fry your ass.

Maybe I should just tell her.

Are you nuts? No.

All right, that's the last thing that you should do.

First, she'll kill you, and then she'll kick you out,

and you'll probably wind up living with me and Chuck.

No. No, no, no.

No, no, no, we must never tell Mary.

That was Lola, wasn't it?

What do you think, genius?

Can you stand by yourself?

I think so. Good.

Thank you.

We are way past the point of cracking wise, little man.

I'm trying to save your miserable life.

So answer my goddamn questions

before I get angry,

you festering pustule.

All right, look. All right.

I don't know if that was Lola.

I've never actually met her.

I thought you told the feds you could I.D. her.

No, I said I could deliver her.

We always conducted our business on the phone.

Now would you please get off of me?

You're not exactly petite, you know.

God!

What do you think?

I think if that was Lola,

she knows this is her only shot at Mr. Personality

before he talks to the feds.

In other words, she's coming back.

* duh-duh-dahhhhh

that's pretty funny

for a guy with a sucking chest wound.

I know.

Oh, sweet.

Come on, mom. Quit crying and think.

I am thinking.

I'm thinking about how screwed I am.

All right, well, what about a cash advance

on a credit card?

Maxed out. All of 'em.

All right, just let me think.

Sir, how much would you pay to sleep with my mother?

Brandi. What?

Mom, you've got to be willing to think outside the box.

Wait. That's it.

Your box.

You mean--

you mean my box of memories?

Desperate times call for desperate people

to do something desperate or something.

Absolutely not.

You have to.

No. I would rather die.

All right, ah!

Oh, this--

yeah, this place is gonna do wonders

for my allergies.

Thank you, really, so much.

You, over here.

Oh, come on.

Aah!

Oh! Ow!

Oh, there are gonna be lawsuits aplenty, trust me.

Shut up.

Oh!

How are we doing?

Tension,

pneumothorax.

That's funny, I was just going to say that.

Tube thoracostomy.

Marshall, if I'm gonna help you,

you need to speak English.

Get the tube from car.

Right, right.

Okay, okay, now what?

Marshall, Marshall. Marshall.

Marshall, wake up and tell me what to do.

Marshall!

Oh, god.

Marshall, Marshall.

Okay, Marshall, tell me.

Insert tube through bullet wound.

Second intercostal.

What?

Put the tube in the hole.

Okay, okay.

I hope you know what you're doing.

Oh, I'll be damned.

Better.

Hand me a half-empty water bottle.

Okay.

Amazing.

It's a water seal.

Gravity and hydraulic pressure

allow air in the pleural space to escape,

but not to go back in.

What?

Relationships end, Brandi.

Jewelry is forever.

Does Chuck buy you jewelry?

Yeah, right.

Well, he should.

Jewelry reminds a woman

that she's beautiful and cherished

and loved.

Sometimes we forget these things.

Come on.

I can give you 200.

$200,000?

That's very funny.

No, $200 for the lot, including the box.

What?

Is this a joke?

No, it's actually quite generous.

Eh...

Oh, my. You don't know.

Know what?

These jewels are all...

Paste.

They're fakes.

You're wrong.

That's impossible.

I'm so sorry. I--

I don't understand.

You should go.

You should shut up.

I'm not leaving you and a witness

like sitting ducks.

Take him with you.

It's only a couple miles to the highway.

It's not gonna happen. Forget it.

Come on. You know it's the right call.

I could go a lot faster without him.

Hey,

no secrets.

You can't leave him with me.

I can't protect him.

Why are you looking at me like that?

You better not die.

I'll try to not die...

For you.

Stay.

This is for emergencies only.

If anyone comes back,

you play dead, understand?

Do I look like a hero to you?

I'll be back.

Let's go.

I need my medical bag.

Okay.

Here.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

No, actually it's a terrible idea,

but what do you expect?

It came from him.

Change of plans.

Wh-wh-what?

Sit.

Sit! Our friends are back.

All three of them.

There are three of them now?

Check that. All four of them.

And they know we're here.

Hey, can you stand?

I think so, with a little help.

Okay, come on.

You setting up an ambush?

If you can shoot.

I can shoot.

Okay.

Good.

Good. Easy, easy.

Okay.

What, what? What--what--what--

what--what are you doing?

You've gotta get me out of here.

I'm afraid that ship has sailed.

What? Oh, come on, come on.

You can't chain me up.

What if you two get killed?

Well, that'll be a sad day for everyone.

Stay down and be quiet.

Here's the layout.

It's a four-wall cinderblock box.

I'll take the oblique angles

on the front and back entrances, draw fire.

Anyone in through the front sees me first.

Wait till they're all the way in, then take your shot.

I know the drill. I know you do.

What about me? Do I get a gun?

No. No.

No?

They're just sitting there.

Probably waiting for nightfall,

improve their cover.

So now we wait.

I saw something like this once

in an old Glenn Ford movie.

It did not end well.

Hey, how are you doing?

You hangin' in?

Aces.

Listen, they used some kind of GPS to find us.

I saw her use it.

How is that possible?

I don't know, but it's kind of academic at this point.

Maybe.

It'll be dark soon.

You should try to get out then.

Yeah, we'll see.

Seriously. It's gonna get ugly.

Look, it's a defendable position.

So how come you didn't tell me?

Because I needed to make up my own mind.

And that's not always an option with you.

You know how you are.

I thought you loved this job.

I did. I do.

Well, what then? Tell me.

Am I the reason you want to go?

Because of how I am?

No.

It has more to do with how I am.

Oh, my god.

I can't believe I'm getting

the "it's not you, it's me" speech from you.

Am I really the reason

you want to leave the marshal service?

No.

Not exactly.

Oh.

I wish they'd come already.

Look, it's nothing like what you think.

Yeah?

Then you should probably explain,

because I'm pretty confused.

I know you love the job,

and I thought you...

I thought we were friends.

We are.

You're my best friend.

Jesus, Marshall.

You're like my only friend.

I know.

And you're like... My only friend.

So, sounds like a pretty good arrangement.

What's the problem?

The problem with us is...

Please just tell me.

I feel like I'm the keeper

of this...

Exotic animal,

and I spend my time

either protecting you from the world

or the world from you,

and it's just...

It's just a lot of responsibility.

I'm sorry...

But that's your job.

And you cannot quit.

Okay.

It's just a little blood.

Nothing to worry about.

These are for, you know, in case I don't...

You know.

What's going on? What are you doing?

Just stay here till I get back.

Be careful.

What's she doing? Where's she going?

She's going to kill them

before they kill us.

Son of a bitch.

* if you get tired

* of running

it all started out so well,

and then...

So many disappointments.

Seems impossible.

Odds-defying.

I mean, look at us.

No jobs.

No money.

Not a scintilla of common sense between us.

If it weren't for Mary,

we'd be living in my Mercury.

To Mary.

To Mary.

I think she's very unhappy.

I can't do this anymore.

I won't.

Me neither.

I have to let go of my disloyal past.

I have to...

Kick out the ghosts.

Joe.

Can I have a job here?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, thanks.

Sweet.

Good evening, ladies.

Welcome to jinx Shannon's fabulous fake Jewel giveaway.

Behold

the box of false hope

and phony memories.

Here.

How about this for you?

That looks good on you.

Ooh!

Oh, come on, dig in.

Hey, I need your cell phone, all right?

Yeah.

I didn't hear any gunplay. Did you chicken out?

Here's something interesting.

The SUV we came in,

the front passenger side door was full of bullet holes.

Wow, you know, it's almost like there were

people shooting at us.

Not us, me.

There were no bullet holes in the back door where you were,

not a single one.

So?

So explain to me why two shooters

who obviously went to a lot of trouble

to find and kill you

didn't take a single shot at you.

I haven't the faintest idea.

I think you do. No, you--

and I think I do too.

Huh?

Uhh!

Get down.

Christ, what the hell is wrong with you?

Where is it? What are you doing?

Would you please stop feeling me up?

Where is it, Horst?

She had a tracking device that led straight to us.

Aagh! Damn!

Hey.

Hey, those are my personal medical supplies, all right?

You have no right going in there.

Is this it? What?

Is this how they found us?

Be--be--be--would you--

be careful with that, would--be careful!

Oh, what do you know?

A GPS transmitter.

Oh, you're an electronics expert?

No, but I can read.

Oh. I-i-i-i-i-i-i--

I have no idea how that got in there.

Yeah, well, just for grins,

let's pretend you do know, huh?

Then we can both play this game.

Do you think this is really

the best use of your time?

Humor me.

Ow! Ow! Uhh!

See how this flows.

Obviously you brought it into the prison with you,

and obviously your friends

used it to bust you out, as it were,

which seems to imply you had the foresight

to plan your escape before you got arrested.

And how on god's green earth

could I do that?

Yeah, right?

It doesn't make sense.

No, it doesn't make sense.

Unless...

Are you a kinks' fan?

Okay, the heat's getting to you.

Maybe you should just get a drink of water.

You know...

* where she drank champagne

come again?

I-i-i-i stopped listening after you went crazy.

It was a hit, wasn't it?

That guy who got killed at Perryville yesterday,

it was a hit.

A brilliantly conceived and executed contract killing.

Oh, man.

I bet you got paid a boatload for that one, huh?

Please explain to me what you're talking about.

At least then when I die, I'll know why.

You set yourself up

to get arrested five miles from Perryville

because you had to get locked up there

so you could whack that guy from Ruidoso.

Oh, man, I gotta admit,

I really underestimated you, Horst.

Or should I say Lola.

All right, so you've gone stark raving crazy,

and you're gonna get us all killed.

Well, we're gonna find out pretty quick,

'cause here come your buddies.

What are you--what are you-- what are you doing?

Hey!

There's no way we're letting you take him.

I don't want him.

What, are you crazy? Here's the deal.

I give you Horst-- I mean, Lola--

for the car.

Not a chance.

Fine, we'll shoot it out, but I guarantee you,

Mr. Personality here gets my first shot.

Just do as she says. Good boy.

Now!

My partner's inside.

You two in the chorus,

go in and get him.

Carefully put him in the back seat of the car.

Hurry up!

You two, get down in the dirt.

Face down in the dirt.

Careful. Be careful with him.

Be careful with him!

Come on.

You shouldn't have shot my friend.

I've only got one friend.

Get down on the ground.

Let me go.

Okay.

Great work, people.

Really.

Top-notch stuff.

Now we need to go to the road,

steal another car.

Really, couldn't be happier.

And I'd really like to get these chains off!

Come on, come on, hang in there, Marshall.

Hang in there, come on.

Yeah, Mary, what's up?

Stan. Stan, Marshall's been shot.

Where are you?

About two miles from route 66 and i-25.

I'll have a roadblock and ambulance waiting.

Yep, yep, yep.

Over here, guys, over here! He's in the back!

Marshall, we made it.

Just hang in there, buddy, okay?

Hang in there.

Mary.

Are you okay?

I'm fine, Stan, it's Marshall.

It's bad. It's really bad.

Okay, well, you got him here alive,

and they can do amazing things, huh?

Yeah.

God.

So what do you want to do?

Do you want to stay with him or do you want to go?

Let's go. All right.

Oh, no.

Really?

Ah.

Hello.

Hey, Horst,

turn around.

really, Jason?

Do you think you're gonna out-run the highway patrol

in a mini Van, hmm?

Just pull over, you idiot, just pull over!

Aah!

* I asked her her name

I told you you shouldn't have shot my friend.

Oh, by the way, your fly's been down the whole time.

Hey, that witness protection deal,

is that still on the table?

Nietzsche was right.

"We come into this world alone and we go out of it alone."

Perhaps that explains

why we spend our time here on earth

so infuriatingly dependent on others.

He'll be okay.

Marshall--he's tough.

You have no idea.

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