All language subtitles for Despicable.Me.4.2024.1080p.UHD.BluRay.DD+7.1.DoVi.HDR10.x265-SA89.en

Ah. Hmm.

Stuart.

Illumination!

Phil, Ron, Ralph! Stay focused.

Uh. Uh, okay, okay.

Hmm.

Okay, our target is Maxime Le Mal,

one of the Anti-Villain League's
most wanted.

And, trust me, a real jerk.

So, there is no room for error. Got it?

Sí, boss.

Phil, Ron!

Ah.

Ah!

Kids can be so cruel,
but Maxime can be even crueler.

Ho, ho, ho. Well, well, well.

Look who it is.

If it isn't Gru-ser the Loser.

Well, if it isn't Maxime Le Mal.
You look...

Magnificent? Yes, I know.

What did you think, huh?

I was going to look
like a bald loser with a dad bod?

Oops. Looks like you beat me to it, no?

- Ooh.
- Ooh!

Oh.

It's good to laugh, no?

Anyway, you remember
my girlfriend, Valentina?

She was captain
of the Femme Fatale cheer squad,

and the most popular girl at school, huh?

I remember.

Good to see you, Valentina.

What happened, Gru?

All your dreams of becoming
a famous villain, they go poof-poof, huh?

Well, I don't know if you know,
but I did manage to steal the moon.

Really?

You mean, that moon?

Is this on?

Can I have everyone's attention, please?

Good evening and welcome,
Lycée Pas Bon alumni.

Now, we're going to
kick off the festivities

by announcing the winner
of our most coveted award,

The Golden Alumni.

And so, without further ado,

the winner
of this year's Golden Alumni is, uh...

Oh, my favorite student.

Maxime Le Mal.

- What? Are you kidding me?
- Thank you. Thank you.

Merci. Merci beaucoup.

No, you don't have to.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm sure you all know that
I have something very big in the works.

Now, some of you laughed at
my childhood obsession with cockroaches.

But I quickly learned
that they are a miracle of evolution.

And I have found a way
to harness the strength

and the speed and the... What is the word?

"Unsquishability" of the most
powerful creature on the planet.

Which makes me
indestructible and unstoppable!

Maxime! Maxime! Maxime!

Behold the power of the cockroach!

So, my sad little friend,
what do you say about that, huh?

Well, I'd say you're...

under arrest,
courtesy of the Anti-Villain League.

Oh... I don't think so, mon ami

Oh, yeah? Goop grenade!

No!

Hi-yah!

Move in.

- AVL!
- Everybody, freeze!

- Stay where you are.
- Move!

Ha!

Stay there!

Freeze!

Gotcha!

No, no, no! No!

This is not happening!

C'est impossible.

Get your hands off of me!

I am commanding you to let me go.

So long, Maxime!

Who's the loser now?

Loser, loser, loser!

This is not over!

You won't always have the AVL
to fight your battles, you coward!

Mark my words! I will exterminate you!

Not, uh...
Not scary at all.

Hello, everybody!

- Gru, what's up?
- Yay, Gru!

- Hey, Gru.
- I'm so happy you're here!

What's shaking in the Gru house?

Look what I taught Lucky.

Lucky, sit.

Aw, Lucky, I said sit.

Well, it is only his first lesson.

Uh, maybe we practice outside from now on.

There's my favorite husband!

Did you remember to get the milk?

Well, yes. They had a few kinds.

They got the almond milk,
soy milk, hemp milk,

oat milk, goat milk,
chocolate milk, half-and-half,

powdered, and of magnesia.

What about regular milk?

No, they don't make that anymore.

Oh!

Wait a minute.

One, two, three girls.

One wife.

Something is missing.

No, I think that's all of us. Yeah.

You know what? I keep forgetting...

this guy!

Oh, ho, ho! There's my boy!

There he is!

Ah, coochy, coochy, coochy.

Where is Daddy's hug?

Oh, looks like somebody's a little cranky!

Behind that sourpuss,
I know you love your dada!

Go on, say it.

Dada. Dada.

Yes, of course he loves you! He just...

He just doesn't show it on his face,

or with his body language.

Right, Gru Jr? Come on.

Show Daddy how much you love him.

Oh, I know what will make you happy!

Mmm, Bahama Medley!

No? It's from The Bahamas.

All of them. Look.

Oh, so yummy!

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Oh, that really tastes like The Bahamas!

See? He loves his daddy!

He's sharing.

Phil, Ralph, Ron!

Hup, hup, hup!

Hup!

Pistachio. Yeah, cashew.

Gotcha!

Thanks, guys.

Ramsbottom?

Bottom.

- I need a word with you both.
- Sure, but what...

I'm sorry. There's no time for chitchat.

Maxime Le Mal has sent you
a message from prison.

Bonjour, Gru.

I know you can hear me, so hear this.

You think you can humiliate me
and get away with it? Yes?

But, no!

When I break out of prison,
I'm coming for my revenge, Gru!

But this time, I won't go so easy on you!

And I know where you live!

So you better sleep with one eye open,
because you can't hide from me!

Sweet dreams, Gru-ser!

Don't worry. He can't get out of there.

It's a maximum security prison.

Ah, yes, well, um...

he escaped yesterday.

What?

Leave our home?

Oh, no. You're gonna love it.

It's called "the safe house"'

and it's fun, and it's safe,
and it's fantastic and we're going.

Yeah, you'll get a new room,
go to a new school.

It'll be fun, right?

Everything's gonna be new. We love new!

What about all my friends?

You'll make new friends.

Probably better ones.

I can't believe this.

Yes, yes. Lot of emotions.
Big life change.

Less talking, more walking.

Come on, here we go.

I'm sorry you can't go with us, Lucky.

Take good care of him.

Be good, Lucky!

Don't forget to practice your tricks!

We'll arrive at the AVL safe house
in a few hours.

Mayflower is a lovely town.

A lovely, safe, boring town.

Trust me, it is for the best, Gru.

And what about Grandma and Uncle Dru?

I'm sorry. No one can know
of your whereabouts, not even family.

Bingo! There's your silver lining.

And you promise
to take care of the other Minions?

They'll be safe and sound
at AVL Headquarters.

I have big plans for them.

Good luck with that.

That is it!

Quiet!

You are now on Carl's bus.

And Carl is a longtime AVL employee

whose retirement benefits
are almost vested.

So, while on Carl's bus,
you follow Carl's rules.

No shenanigans,
no antics and no tomfoolery.

Tom?

So this ends now.

Or you're gonna see a side of Carl
you do not wanna see.

Do I make myself clear?

Bazooka!

This won't st...

Carl does not like this!

Watch your hands. What are you doing?
Who's pinching?

No, no!

Here we are.
The town of Mayflower.

This safe house has been used
to protect our agents for decades now.

Whoa, look at that place.

Wow, look at these lawns.
The flowers.

- Whoa! That is cool.
- Are we really gonna live here?

- Look at that fountain.
- Whoa!

Awesome.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, is that one ours?

Hey, hey.

- Whoa, look at that.
- Ooh, that's pretty.

I could get used to this.

Ooh, it looks like
a princess lives there.

And here it is.

Your new home.

Oh.

Hmm, no fountain.

I'm sure it's gonna be great.

Come on.

Silas says that there is a pool
in the back.

That'll be fun, huh?

Wow, it's so cold and uninviting.

- But in a homey kind of way.
- What?

Yes, everything here is AVL standard.

What it lacks in comfort, it more
than makes up for in functionality.

There's even
a fully automated lockdown mode.

Isn't that fun?

Ooh, full lockdown mode.

Yay.

- It has a vending machine.
- Oh!

I love this place!

Ooh.

Eh, eh.

This will be great.

All right, now down to business.

For your own safety,
you'll all be assuming new identities.

New identities? Is that really necessary?

It's not up for debate, Gru.

Now, you are a solar panel salesman.

Lucy, you're a hairstylist
at an upscale salon.

A hairstylist? Yes, jackpot!

Silas, did you choose that
because you knew I cut my own hair,

and that I would totally rock at this?

No.

"Chet Cunningham."

Ah, that's got a nice ring to it.

Girls.

Cool. I'm Blair.

"Britney"?

My name is Bree?

Oh, come on.
There are worse names than Bree.

Yeah, like Blanche.

Yes, Margo.

Blanche? Ugh, that is a terrible name.

Imagine being named Blanche.

Truly, I cannot think of a worse...

My name's Blanche, isn't it?

Yep.

Well, I'll get used to it.

Well, why don't you girls go
and pick out your rooms

while I have a word with your parents?

Yes, I didn't want to frighten the girls,

but it is absolutely crucial
you keep your true identities under wraps.

Gru, you're going to have to try
to not be so "Gru-ish."

What is that supposed to mean?

Well, I'm just saying you tend
to stand out in a crowd, that's all.

You know... like the way
you're always cranky and irritable.

And how you make things
a bit awkward for everyone around you.

You do do that.
I mean, you know...

Okay, enough.

I don't make people
awkward or uncomfortable.

I'm very comforting.

Like a nice meat loaf.

I'm pretty delicious.

This is not awkward.
You're the ones who are making it awkward.

Gru, you have to blend in.

Your family's lives are at stake.

You understand?

Of course, yes. Fully understand.

We would do anything
to keep our family safe. Yeah.

Right, well, I'll be in contact
when this is all over.

Until then, capturing Maxime Le Mal
is our top priority.

Stay safe.

You know what, Gru,
maybe this isn't so bad.

We need a break from chasing down villains
and dangerous missions, right?

We can actually be a normal family
for once.

And I can finally spend
some real bonding time with the baby.

It's gonna be great. Right, pal?

Who's got your nose? Who's got...

He's got my nose.

Quite the grip there. That kid is strong.

Ah.

Thank you. Look at everyone. Yes.

We are having a good time, right?

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

No, I love you.

Thank you, my beautiful army.

Maxime's back, baby.

And a special merci beaucoup to everyone
who helped me break out of AVL prison.

Todd and Linda, where are you?
Where are you? Yes.

For distracting the guards.

- Oh, très magnifique.
- Yeah!

Now, silence!

We must make Gru suffer for arresting me.

And what better way than to take away
from him his precious little baby.

I want to take that baby.

Whoa.

Yeah!

Oh, Maxime.

No, no. Wait, wait. Not Maxime.

What if I start going by
"Cockroach Man" ' huh?

Little on the nose, but it is very clear.

- It's good, no?
- Ugh.

I am not calling you that stupid name,
but I love this evil plan.

Well, Gru has it coming.

He humiliated me
in front of the whole school.

I had my trophy and everything.

But now the game begins.

He runs and hides like the mouse,
and we find him like the cat.

Game on.

Okay, we've got Chet's famous,
super cheesy scrambled eggs.

And Blanche's famous bacon
that spells your name.

Here you go, Britney.

Wait, I can't say my name is Britney.

That would be a lie.

Yes.

But we aren't "stupposed" to lie.

Don't think of it as lying.

Think of it as high-stakes pretending.

Well, I'm not going to.

Bah, it's just a little white lie.

No.

Agnes, as your father,
I command you to lie.

No.

- Yes, lie.
- Mm-mmm.

You are walking on thin ice, little lady.

Hmm!

Why can't you be more
like your sister Edith?

She lies all the time.

No, I don't.

See? See? She's lying right now.

Beautifully, I might add.

Okay, you guys.

This is our first big day in Mayflower,
and I say we make it a great one.

Right, Chet Jr?

Whoo-hoo, Mayflower. Yes!
Whoo-hoo.

We're gonna be late for karate.

- And you have to get Margo to school.
- Ah.

- It's gonna be awesome.
- Ugh. Yay.

Hey, you just have to
put yourself out there,

and I promise
Mayflower will love Chet Cunningham.

Well, they're gonna love him
just as much as I do.

And you, little man, are gonna have
so much fun with your daddy today.

Yep, just you and Dada.

Come on, say it. Dada.

Dada.

Gonna be a fun day.

Hup, hup, hup!

Hup, hup, hup, hup!

Buddies.

Okay.

- Thanks a lot, guys.
- Ah, ha-ha, buddy.

Check ya.

All right. Thanks, hon.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Look, Margo, neighbors.

Hello!

Hmm?

Come on.

You got this, Chet.

I'm your new neighbor,
Chet Cunningham.

Uh-huh. Perry Prescott.

So, what, uh, brings you
to the neighborhood, Chet?

Well, uh...

Solar panels. That's it.
I sell solar panels.

Have you joined the solar revolution?

Yeah, no.

Uh, I think I'm good.

Good to know.

So, what do you do, Perry?

I own Prescott Motors.

The largest auto dealer in the state.

Wow, that's impressive.

This is my daughter Margo.

Bree, Dad.

Ah, yes. Yes. Did I say "Margo"?

It's funny, because I was thinking...

I was thinking about a fish
I once had as a pet, named Margo.

Who lived in the pond and then died.

Uh.

Anyway, I, uh... I'm about to take Bree
to school for her first day.

Yeah, I was about to take Poppy
to school, so...

Poppy. Hello, Poppy.

That's a fun name to say.

You want to carpool with us?

No.

You could be friends with Bree.

Right, Bree?

You don't have any friends.

Well, love to chitchat, Chet,
but she's got school,

and I'm meeting some pals
over at the country club, so...

Ooh, country club.
That sounds like a lot of fun.

If I were ever invited to a country club,
I am sure that I would love it.

Yeah, well, we really have to get going,
so nice meeting you, Chet.

Okay, cool. Any time you want to hang out,
just hit me up with a text.

He's gonna text me.

That was painful.

You'll see. By lunchtime,

you will have forgotten
all about your old, lousy friends.

Mmm, not so sure about that.

Right? Oh, my gosh.

Not my problem, bro.

Hey, honey, you got this.

You're smart.

You're funny.

What's there to worry about, right?

They're gonna love you.

Thanks, Gru.

Bye-bye.

Oh, please let them love you.

Ooh!

Hey, Poppy.

Eh...

Come on. Hey. Move it!

Sorry. My bad. I'm going. All right.

I'm going.

Ooh, glassos.

No, no, no. Sit. Sit.

No.

All right, gentlemen.

Fall in.

Some of you may be wondering
why you're here.

Uh, sí.

As you may or may not know,
I was recently called out of retirement

to head up the AVL's
new top-secret initiative

to take down Maxime Le Mal.

And that's where you come in.

We need volunteers.

Me! Me! Me!

We are looking for
the strong, the mighty...

Ooh.

- The fearless.
- Uh, nope.

We need the best of the best.

So, who's it going to be?

Yes, nice work, gentlemen.

The AVL is known
for cutting-edge weapons and vehicles,

but now we are developing
cutting-edge agents.

And I can think
of no better guinea pigs than you.

Guinea pigs!

You will be the first
to test our super serum.

Designed to transform you
into elite agents

with powers and abilities
far beyond those of mortal men.

Or you might just explode.

We don't really know.

Eh? Huh?

Oh, ah.

Hey.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the Mega Minions.

Cool.

Aw, you guys look adorable.

And... And really tough and scary.

I'll look even better
when I have a black belt. Hi-yah!

Ooh, ooh! I'm gonna break a brick
with my head.

That's the spirit. Oh!

Oh, okay. Now, go have fun
while I'm at work.

- Blair and Britney. Right?
- Mmm.

We will.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

Bye.

Got ya.

Hi-yah!

Circle up, people.

Show respect for your sensei.

Yes, Sensei O'Sullivan.

Hai!

You, Moscovitch,
didn't I tell you to cut that hair?

You look like a sheepdog.

Sorry, Sensei.

Now, we have two new students today
ready to begin their journey...

Hi-yah! To awesomeness.

You, tiny girl.

Step forward and tell us your name.

Um...

It's Britney.

Uh, m-my name?

I can't.

There's no "can't" in karate.

Ten push-ups after class!

Hey, that's not fair.

Huh! Ha! You better not be
talking back to your sensei.

Hi-yah!

Now, are you ready
to tell us your name and participate?

Mmm.

I guess not.

Then why don't you go sit
in the corner of disgrace and reflection

and think about
what kind of person you wanna be?

Now, am I gonna get any trouble from you?

Yeah, probably.

Excuse me?

If you think I'm above fighting children,

you picked the wrong dojo.

Hi-yah, hi-yah, hi-yah! Hi-yah!

Ha!

Yeah!

That was for my sister.

You broke my pinkie toe.

That's gonna be a lot of push-ups.

Okay, then put this over here,
then the hair gel.

- Hair spray.
- Oh, uh, Mrs. Cunningham?

Oh! Uh, yeah. Hi.

I have to say, this is quite a résumé.

Well, what can I say?

I'm good at what I do.

Well, you are exactly what we need here.

Lot of vain, demanding divas in this town.

I have a hair emergency, people.

Where's what's-her-name?

Remy? Rhonda?

Oh, Melora, I'm so sorry.

Rachel's on maternity leave.

What? Oh, that is unacceptable.

But you are in luck,
because Blanche here is fantastic.

Perfect. I'll be in my chair.

Okay, kiddo, you're up.

So, Melora, what are we thinking?

What if we just wet the hair
and let it dry in the air?

Let nature do its thang...
you know?

No, no, no, no. That style is dead to me.

It's-It's time for a whole new Melora.

I want this.

Wow.

Wow. Um...

Okay, let's start with color?

Yes, color.
Because that's what you start with.

Little of this.

Some of that.

Ooh, that's pretty.

This isn't so hard.

Uh...

What?

Should it be smoking?

Yes. Uh-huh.

Smoking means it's working.

What's going on?

Perfect. No one panic.

Call 911.

Quickly, quickly.

Oh...
wonder where they're going.

Voilà! My latest creation.

All of my transformation powers
in a handheld design, huh?

Ay! I love it.

Oh, and look at the little antenna.
That's so cute.

It's not supposed to be cute. No.

I'm going for intimidating.
Terrifying, even.

Now, all I have to do is find
that walking boiled potato,

and his baby is mine.

Check this out.

Whoa!

No, I kid you not.
I'm being serious... Whoa!

Whoa!

Oh, this is going to be so good.

Okay, Daddy is officially exhausted.

I changed your diaper.

I've got your bottle, your Binky,
and here are your balloons.

There you go. You like those, right?

All right. A little bit of me time.

Ah!

Someone put a glitter bomb
in my locker. Ugh.

Teenagers are the worst.

Yeah. Babies are no picnic either.

Ah!

Junior!

Ah, okay. Okay.

Dua Lipa prosciutto.

Fire in the bowl.

Good night, Ralph.

Hello, Gru.

Hello. Hey! What the...

Oh, hello, Poppy. Did you say something?

Wha... Uh...
my name's Chet, by the way.

Chet Cunningham.

Gru? What does that even mean?

It means you're bad at lying.

Hey. That's not nice.

Ever hear of respecting your elders?

I don't respect boomers.

I just mock them.

Ah, ha, ha. Is that, like,
a joke you read on the Web?

Wow. "The Web"? How old are you?

Well, old enough to know
that you are a rotten little...

Huh?

You better watch yourself.

Ooh-hoo. Oof.

You used to be a master villain.

That's not me.
I don't even see a resemblance.

Clearly, you have the wrong guy,
as I sell, mmm, solar panels.

Oh, don't worry. I'm not gonna expose you.

Because you're gonna help me pull a heist.

We start planning tomorrow.

You want to pull a heist?

Listen, kid, I'm not going to...

No. You listen, old man.

- Ow.
- I own you.

And I promise,
you do not want to cross me.

Okay. All right.

But tomorrow is not really good timing.

Bummer for you.

Because this is happening.

Unless you want the whole world
to know exactly who you are...

Gru.

She is terrifying.

- Ow!
- Ooh!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Five!

Oh!

Yay!

Aw.

Hey, Jiminy!

No problemo.

Oh, phew.

Oy.

All right, all right. Settle down.

Settle down!

Thank you.

It's time to get you out
for some real-world training.

Liberty.

And, if you do well out there,
you'll be the AVL's new secret weapon.

Pomodoro!

Pomodoro!

Ouch.

I'm quite sure I won't regret this.

- No. The painters cancelled.
- Uh-huh.

- True story.
- Wow.

- I don't know what is the deal with...
- Morning, neighbors.

Hey there!

Still waiting on that invite, Perry.

- Ugh.
- Oh!

- No. No, no.
- Yoo-hoo!

- Patsy!
- Oh, neighbors.

Oh, Patsy.

Hi there. I'm Perry's wife, Patsy.

Oh! I'm Blanche. And this is Chet.

Hi. So, I look over here and I see you...

and I have one of my brilliant ideas.

Perry needs a fourth for tennis tomorrow.

Oh, honey.

I don't know.
He doesn't seem like much of a tennis guy.

Much of a tennis guy?
I'm too much of a tennis guy.

I'm Mr. Tennis.

It's my favorite of all the sports games.

With the racket and with the balls.
So yellow and fuzzy.

Oh, then we're all set.
See you two at the club tomorrow.

Toodle-oo!

Okay. Toodle-oo to you two too.

So, you... you play tennis?

Yes. Yes. I play tennis.

I'm pretty fantastic actually.

Well, at least I was at summer camp.

Wow. That's great.
Here you go.

Okay, bye.

Have fun!

There you go.

Okay.

Huh?

What the...

Gru.

You can't hide from me, Gru.

Ay! My back is killing me.

How long is this gonna take?

It will take as long as it takes.

Mark my words, Gru will not win.

This won't be like
the ninth-grade talent show.

Ay, again with this.

Yes, again. It was a pivotal moment.

Why can't you indulge me?

It was the night of the big show.

I had practiced for weeks,

perfecting a number that would
blow my classmates away.

I was about to go on when.:

- What? Wh... Oh!
- I heard it.

There was that little jerk
doing my big number.

He ruined everything.

I couldn't go on after him.
I would have looked like a fool.

Like I was copying him.

Maybe it was just a coincidence.

That was a very popular song.

Oh, no, no, no, no. He knew.

He did it on purpose.

He reveled in humiliating me. Oh!

What now?

We're low on fuel.

It's always something.

Look, I can never focus
on just being evil.

Okay. Pull over.

Okay, let's see.

Regular unleaded. Oh.

Wow. It is expensive, no?

Okay. Insert card and remove rapidly.

"Card not read"?

Oh, come on.

Did you pull it out rapidly?

Yes. Yes. Very rapidly.

Come...

Ay, get me a slushy. It's my cheat day.

Hey, you. Your stupid machine
won't read my card.

- Did you remove it rapidly?
- Yes.

Well, sometimes it's too rapid.
You should probably try again.

I don't have time for this.

Okay. Whoa!

I'm trying to destroy my arch nemesis!

Now, give me 900 gallons
on pump four, you idiot.

Whoa! Please, don't hurt me.

Oh, I'm not going to hurt you.

Wha...

Oh! Look at you!

Ha, ha! Much better.

Now, get me a purple slushy!

I'm not paying for that,
just so you know. So there.

I know. I'm so bad.

Hmm. Okay, why don't you guys
pick out a healthy cereal?

This is Lucky's favorite cereal.

You don't think he'll forget me?

Do you?

Oh, sweetheart, that's impossible.

You play with Lucky and dress him up.

And you guys have your podcast.

There is no way in this world
he could ever forget his best friend.

Thanks, Mom.

Oh, lookit!

This one has extra marshmallows.

Double-frosted choco clusters.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Let's go with those.

All right. What else do we need?

Oh, no.

Nobody see. Nobody notice. Nobody notice.

- What's wrong?
- Huh?

Oh, nothing. Just, uh... Ooh.

Stretching before we hit the aisles.

Shopping is the number one
cause of pulled hamstrings.

Huh. You probably didn't know that.

Okay, all stretched. Let's go.

Quickly. Quick, quick, quick.

Okay. Coast is clear...

Oh.

You.

You did this to me, you fraud.

Come on, girls.

Clean up on aisle nine!

I've always wanted to say that.
Just hide over here.

What does that lady want?

Lady? I didn't see a lady.

Lady!

Come on. Let's go.

- Faster!
- Whoa!

You're no hairdresser.

I'm on to you! Get back here.

I gotta get out of here.

Okay.

Come back here.

Whoa-ho-ho.

Hey! No, no, no, no!

- You can't just...
- Open, open, open!

Whoa!

Let's go!

Stop! Come here, you!

Whew. That was a close one.

Always a fun time
when you go shopping with Mom.

- Yeah! I feel so alive!
- Best shopping trip ever!

Perfecto.

Poppy!

Poppy!

I don't see her, Junior.

Look up, genius.

- Huh?
- You're late.

How do I get up there?

Use the trampoline.

Huh?

Here we go.

Ow, ow, ow, ah, ow!

It is I,

Poppy Prescott, villainess.

Have a seat, Gru.

All right, I'll sit... Ah!

Okay. Why am I here?

Because, like you, I was born to be bad.

And now, it's time to discuss
our big heist.

Pfft, heist. Please. You're just a child.

All great villains start young.

Didn't you steal the Crown Jewels
when you were 12?

I was a lot younger than that.

And, no offense, but you're not me.

Oh, I plan on being a lot better than you.

Check this out.

Hey, is that my old school?

Bingo.

Which I have expertly modeled
with glue and Popsicle sticks.

And it's where we are going
to steal the school mascot.

You want to steal Lenny?

Exactly.

Lycée Pas Bon
has always been my dream school.

And this heist will look so great
on my villain transcripts.

That is a terrible idea.

Have you ever even seen a honey badger?

They are vicious little monsters.

They literally eat bees
and cobras for breakfast.

Honey badger don't care.

No way. No way am I helping you.

Well, that's the thing with blackmail,

you kinda have no choice.

Ha, ha!

Okay.

Oh. Ah. Uh...

Tim! Tim.

Go, go, go!

Chihuahua.

No!

Suppository!

Give it!

Hey! Police!

No problemo!

Ooh.

Uh, piña colada.

Help!

Hola.

Please. Can you help me?

Oh, sí, sí.

- Ah.
- Hey! All is good. Ciao!

- Smudge! Smudge, come down.
- Hey!

El gato.

Thank you. Thank you.

Ooh, smooch.

Smoochy.

Help!

Bazooka!

Ah. Eh.

Hey, hey.

Yeah!

There they are. Those guys crushed my car.

They destroyed the coffee shop.

- Yeah! Get outta here!
- They're ruining everything.

- I'm sick of superheroes.
- Yeah! Let's get 'em.

- No more superheroes!
- Oh, no, no, no!

Get in!

- Boo!
- Yeah, get outta here!

Gentlemen...

our experiment has failed.

You are officially going to be retired.

Retirement!

Uh, no?

Whoa. There it is.

The castle, the gargoyles.

I can't believe I'm really here.

Okay.

Okay. Let's get this over with.

- Ron, hand me my gear.
- Voilà.

- Keep a close eye on him.
- Okay.

- If you need anything...
- Uh-huh.

I brought formula, extra diapers,
his favorite Binky...

Come on. Let's go. Let's go.

And now, we cut through
the glass with my...

diapers?

What? You've got to be kidding with me.

Muerte a la piñata!

Hey, guys. Guys. Guys? Guys!

Guys, where is the other bag with my gear?

Balloon.

Ah.

Oops.

What? How...

All right. All right.
Let's see what I got in here. Uh...

Come on. Come on, come on, come on. Aha!

Easy-peasy.

Huh?

That's Mr. Friendly.

Stupid kids.

No, no, no!

Oh, I hate my job.

Whew.

Stupid kids.

Ha-ha-ha.

That's Dr. Destructo. He was just a kid.

And there is
Killer Driller's original helmet.

Come on!

Stay focused.

Diaper.

I need something like...
Something that I can...

How about this?

Nice.

Yes!

We're in.

Wait. No, no, no.

Baby powder!

Ah, sí, sí.

Whoa!

You know, the most important part
of a heist

is being constantly aware
of potential danger.

Tiramisu!

No. Junior!

Junior, come back here.

So, what's your plan now?

I am dealing with it.

Don't touch anything. No.

No, no, no!

Good job, Junior. Way to go.

Aw, he's having fun.

Ugh, too much fun.

Please, Junior.

Daddy needs to steal a honey badger.

Okay.

I know they keep Lenny here at night.

And, if memory serves,

there is a hidden switch
around here somewhere.

Ah! Ha-ha.

Yes!

Ooh.

I'll hit him with this.

Once he's knocked out,
we'll open the cage.

That fuzzy demon
will sleep like a baby the whole...

Okay. He's still asleep.

Mamma mia!

I tranked myself.

Hey! Hey!

Gru, what do we do?

No!

Oh, no! I've ruined our heist.

What? Who dares?

Intruders!

Intruders!

Wake up!

No!

What?

Hmm.

Aw.

Aw.

No. Nope.

Come on. We have to go.

Intruders!

You messed with the wrong principal.

Here we go. Come on. Come on.

- Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go.

Come on! Come on!
Ooh, you won't get away with this.

Ah!

Prepare to feel the wrath of Übelschlecht!

Diaper rash cream.

Oh, no. Oh, no!

Stop, stop, stop!

Oh, dear.

Oof!

Get back here, you.

I want my Lenny!

How are we getting out of here?

Follow me.

Get in!

Come on, come on, come on.

Mr. Friendly!

Whoa!

I have to say, that was without a doubt
the coolest night of my life.

I can't believe
we actually pulled that off.

Not gonna lie,
that was pretty fun.

Thanks, Ron.

Phew.

And thank you for everything.

Oh, and hey. Don't worry.

Your secret is safe with me, partner.

Thanks.

Good night.

Your dada did pretty good, huh, Junior?

Sí, sí, sí. Go, go.

Hello, Maxime.

How's my favorite student?

You know, I think you and I
might be looking for the same person.

And I know exactly where he is.

Thank you, Principal Übelschlecht.

We got him.

Valentina, to Mayflower.

With pleasure.

Ah, here we go.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

It's all coming back to me.

Oops.

- Okay.
- See you later.

Say, "Bye, Mommy and Daddy."

Have fun at the club!

Make good choices.

- Bye, guys.
- Goodbye!

Bye!

Hey, Cunninghams.

Um, hey, Poppy.

I heard our parents are having a playdate,
which is adorable, by the way,

and I thought you might wanna hang out.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Come on in.

Let's get this party started, people.

I like her.

Yeah. Most people do.

Sweet.

So, have you guys
ever seen a honey badger?

Whoa, okay,
these guys aren't messing around.

There are my favorite new neighbors.

Hi.

I'm loving this whole vibe.

You two look like
a couple of pros.

Yeah, but we're not.

Perry and the boys are waiting
for y'all on the court,

and we are hitting the clubhouse.

And you're telling me
where you got that to-die-for outfit.

- Ah!
- Ugh.

Over here, Chet.

Hello.

Okay.

Skip, Chip, Chet.

Chet, Skip, Chip.

Hey there, fellas.

- Hello.
- How are you doing, Chet?

Okay.

Chet here is gonna show us fellas
how it's done.

Right?

Um.

I'm gonna smoke this guy.

Okay.

Huh?

What the...

Okay, let's do this.

Huh? You've gotta be kidding.

Okay, okay.

Better?

What?

That doesn't count.

And...

What? You can't just j... Hey!

This is ridiculous!

Burrito.

Thanks, Ron.

Hey, no! Oh, no.

Come and get it.

- Aw, he's so cute.
- Whoa!

This is the weirdest dog ever.

I'll get it.

Well, hello, little one.
Is your daddy home?

Sorry. I'm not "stupposed"
to talk to strangers.

Oh, I'm not a stranger.

Well, you look strange to me.

Who is it?

I don't know.

But she's old and smells like pickles.

Okay, I'm coming.

Oh, no. Oh.

I'll be right back.

Can I help you?

Well, I hope so.

I'm an old friend of Gru's.

Well, he's not here, so...

Oh, that's all right.

I'll wait.

What? No.

Whenever you're ready, Perry.

Hmm?

Needless to say,

Perry and I are no longer welcome
on the island of Oahu.

True story.

- Honey!
- Oh, thank goodness.

It's the children. We have to go now.

Thanks. Bye.

- Our cover's blown!
- What?

- Call Silas!
- Oh, no.

Ah.

Gru's been compromised.

This is an emergency, people.

Retirement is officially over.

Assemble the Mega Minions.

Oh!

Pomodoro!

Mmm.

Ah! Pomodoro!

Hey.

Busy bee.

Aw.

Pomodoro!

Yeehaw.

Pomodoro!

Pomodoro! Yeehaw!

Huh?

Whoa! Ha-ha! Yeah!

So...

your father has been naughty.

Very naughty.

He took something of mine
that I desperately want back.

- Ah!
- Ha!

Principal Übelschlecht?

Ooh! I know you took my Lenny.

- Now hand him over.
- Ah! Ow!

That's actually a very funny story.

Zip it.

I don't wanna hear your excuses.
I'm here to teach you a lesson.

Let's go, tough guy.

Okay. Okay. I'm not going to
fight an old lady.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'm gonna give you a whupping
for the history books.

Whoa! Whoa!

Take that.

Yeah! Go!

Girls, look out! Over here!

Everyone, get down!

Hey, back off, lady!

Ow!

Stop it!

Let him go!

Take that!

Now we have to get in there
and find that baby.

What?

Oh, jackpot, huh?

Ay, Maxime.
This is too easy.

Come here, little bébé.

Come to Maxime.

Yes. Coochy, coochy...

- Oh!
- Ay, Maxime.

You little...

You are in big trouble.

Gotcha!

Hi-yah!

Whew.

Wait. Where's the baby?

Where's the baby?

Junior?

Lucy!

Go after the baby.

Maxime.

Say au revoir, Gru.

Oh, and don't worry.

He will be very happy with his new daddy.

Right? Look at him.
Oh, he loves his new daddy.

Junior!

No!

Get in.

We've got a baby to save.

We got him!

Oh, ho. Who is ready
to become a little roach?

Let go!

Those are very sensitive. Ah!

You squirmy little...

Oh!

Oh! Are you kidding me?

You got pee-pee all over my ship.

Valentina!

Bring me the Roachification Ray!

There they are.

I'm on it.

Here we go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Mmm.

What's that? Oh!

Uh. Hello.

Ugh. Gru!

Get me closer!

Almost there.

Take them out!

You're doing great.

Go get 'em, partner.

Ay! I can't see!

Junior!

Don't worry, Gru.

The baby is fine.

See for yourself.

Oh, Junior.

And now he belongs to me.

Isn't that right, Maxime Jr?

Together we will wreak havoc,

cause mayhem,

and have so much fun doing it, huh?

And best of all, he hates you!

He really does.

Let my son go!

No, I don't think so.

The fun is just about to start, huh?

Oh! Look at what a coward
your old daddy is, huh?

You crossed the line, Maxime.

Now, give me my son.

I told you.

He is my son now.

Watch your step, Gru.

It's a doozy!

Too bad you can't fly, huh?

- Let go!
- Ow! Ugh!

Oh!

This ends now!

Say goodbye to Daddy.

It's okay, Junior.

Dada loves you.

Oh!

Get back here.

Bad baby.

Ow, ow, ow! Ow!

Get off me, you demon.

You're going to feel the wrath of...

Whoa.

Ow! Oh.

See? Not a scratch.

Huh? What?

Salami!

Pastrami!

No, no, no, no, no.

- What?
- Prosciutto!

Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross!

Ha! Nice try. When I...

Antipasti.

Ho, ho!

- Gru.
- Gru!

- Yeah, yeah!
- Junior!

Woo!

Yes!

- Yippee!
- Holy cow!

- You guys okay?
- That was insane!

Dada.

Mmm.

Aw!

- Oh, my boys.
- Dada.

You know something?

Today has been
a real roller coaster of emotion.

Uh, Gru?

Can we go back home now?

All right. There you go.

Yay.

Thanks, Dr. Nefario.

Good as new.

No job too small,

or too mad.

Bye, then.

Bye.

Hey. You okay, sweetie?

Agnes, someone's here to see you!

Lucky?

Lucky!

Did you practice your tricks?

Okay. Play dead.

Yay!

- Ah, that was disturbing.
- Yeah, little bit.

Lucky.

Hey, I'll, uh... I'll be back soon.

Oh, okay.

- There's something I need to take care of.
- Yeah.

See you later, buddy.

Love you, honey.

Oh, how you doing, Maxime?

Ugh, what are you doing here, Gru?

You came to gloat? No?

Gloat? No, no, no, no. I just...

I wanted to get something off my chest.

And it concerns
the ninth-grade talent show.

Well,

actually,

I did steal your song.

What? I knew it!

I knew there was no coincidence.
You little liar!

Well?

Well, what?

- Well, where's my apology?
- Apolo...

What are you talking about?
I just apologized.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, that was no apology.

You just wanted to rub it in.

- I can't believe you stole my song!
- Hey!

I only did that to get back at you
for pantsing me at the homecoming dance.

Besides, you could've gone on after me.

It is not my fault that you were afraid.

Afraid because I killed it!

Afraid? Ha!

I could outsing you any day of the week
and all day Sunday.

I'd like to see that.

Anytime, anyplace.

You name it, mon ami

Oh, yeah.

Oh, come on.

- Yes!
- Whoo! Yeah!

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

Let's boogie!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Oh, strudel.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Ah, whoops.

Huh?

Mmm.

No, no, no, no, no.

Ooh!

Uh...

Uh-oh.

Ugh.

Oh?

Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.