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3
00:00:57,693 --> 00:01:00,128
What do you say
when there are no words
4
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,363
Feel it
5
00:01:04,637 --> 00:01:07,697
Feel a song
that's never been heard
6
00:01:08,307 --> 00:01:09,829
Sing it
7
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:13,674
How do you know
when you hear the call
8
00:01:15,547 --> 00:01:16,879
Answer
9
00:01:18,952 --> 00:01:21,216
What do you do
when you've done it all
10
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,382
Ball
11
00:01:24,458 --> 00:01:28,656
THE CANNONBALL RUN
Cannonball
12
00:01:29,765 --> 00:01:32,529
It's not what you do
it's how you do it
13
00:01:33,869 --> 00:01:36,736
Be anything you want to be
14
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:41,106
It's not what you got
it's how you use it
15
00:01:41,175 --> 00:01:43,111
You be you and I'll be me
16
00:01:43,179 --> 00:01:46,809
It's just a matter of style
17
00:01:46,883 --> 00:01:48,545
You can't fake it
18
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,678
Mile after mile, feeling free
19
00:01:50,755 --> 00:01:53,884
If you've got the soul
20
00:01:53,959 --> 00:01:56,118
You can make it
21
00:01:56,193 --> 00:01:59,560
Move 'em out, let 'em roll
22
00:01:59,632 --> 00:02:04,200
From sea to shining sea
23
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,566
Ball
24
00:02:09,976 --> 00:02:12,377
Cannonball
25
00:02:13,682 --> 00:02:16,776
What do you do
when the mountain is there
26
00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:18,944
Move it
27
00:02:21,230 --> 00:02:24,490
How do you answer
the challenging dare
28
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:25,719
Take it
29
00:02:28,990 --> 00:02:30,291
When your back's against the wall
30
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:33,694
Feel it
31
00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:37,741
What do you do
when you've done it all
32
00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:41,912
Cannonball
33
00:02:46,387 --> 00:02:50,480
It's not what you do
it's how you do it
34
00:02:50,124 --> 00:02:53,583
Be anything you want to be
35
00:02:53,659 --> 00:02:57,688
It's not what you've got
it's how you use it
36
00:02:57,765 --> 00:02:59,700
You be you and I'll be me
37
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:03,260
It's just a matter of style
38
00:03:03,338 --> 00:03:07,105
You can't fake it
Mile after mile, feeling free
39
00:03:07,177 --> 00:03:10,575
If you've got the soul
40
00:03:10,645 --> 00:03:12,409
You can make it
41
00:03:12,482 --> 00:03:15,781
Move 'em out
Let 'em roll
42
00:03:16,352 --> 00:03:21,722
From sea to shining sea
43
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,760
Ball
44
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:31,261
Headquarters, we are still
in pursuit of the black Lamborghini.
45
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:34,567
Car 42, you've been in pursuit
for two hours.
46
00:03:34,638 --> 00:03:37,165
Another five minutes,
and you'll be in Arizona.
47
00:03:37,242 --> 00:03:40,805
Yeah, and we're gonna stay in pursuit
until we catch him.
48
00:03:40,878 --> 00:03:44,112
It didn't take us that long
to catch Dillinger.
49
00:04:07,579 --> 00:04:08,511
Hi, guys.
50
00:04:18,656 --> 00:04:21,250
- You're two hours late.
- I'm sorry.
51
00:04:21,326 --> 00:04:24,297
Where the hell you been?
52
00:04:24,361 --> 00:04:26,333
I'm sorry.
53
00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:30,868
Fuel-injection system...
It's driving me crazy.
54
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:34,429
I'm really sorry I'm late, but one
of my hamsters had an anxiety attack.
55
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,500
I couldn't leave him
until he was settled down.
56
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:39,671
He was acting so crazy.
He ate a piece of tail.
57
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,341
And Henrietta wasn't even
bothering him.
58
00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:44,817
Then he ate his treadmill.
59
00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:51,518
They got vets for that.
We got other things to worry about.
60
00:04:51,594 --> 00:04:54,894
Hamsters are a big responsibility.
61
00:04:54,964 --> 00:04:57,728
Let me paint you a mental picture,
all right, Victor?
62
00:04:57,801 --> 00:05:01,101
I want you to think of your hamsters
as a little army...
63
00:05:01,171 --> 00:05:03,198
marching along on a treadmill...
64
00:05:03,276 --> 00:05:06,767
running their little legs off,
running as fast as they can...
65
00:05:06,847 --> 00:05:09,973
making that engine just
purr right along the road.
66
00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:14,818
Oh, J.J. What a wonderful way
to put it.
67
00:05:17,256 --> 00:05:21,627
Wouldn't it be great if we could share
winning the Cannonball with them?
68
00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:26,565
That would be a real team effort...
you, me, the hamsters and him.
69
00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:45,476
Don't start with him.
I don't want to talk about him.
70
00:05:45,557 --> 00:05:49,287
- If you need any help...
- I don't want to talk about him.
71
00:05:55,867 --> 00:05:59,200
- Sir james!
- Oh, my God. You again?
72
00:05:59,272 --> 00:06:01,263
Fenderbaum, do me a favor.
73
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,501
You're drawing flies.
Get the hell out of here.
74
00:06:03,574 --> 00:06:06,450
Wait a minute, Greek.
Only thing I want to know is...
75
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,706
how are you figuring the odds
on this Cannonball cockamamie?
76
00:06:09,781 --> 00:06:12,549
It takes brilliance
and years of hard work...
77
00:06:12,619 --> 00:06:14,522
and you wouldn't understand
any part of that.
78
00:06:14,588 --> 00:06:17,558
Do me a favor.
A race is a race, right?
79
00:06:17,625 --> 00:06:20,528
The only thing you gotta do
in the Cannonball is drive steady...
80
00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:22,529
stay out of trouble
and have a good cover.
81
00:06:22,597 --> 00:06:25,795
3,000 miles averaging
85 miles an hour.
82
00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:27,666
Do you know what that is?
83
00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:30,603
You want to talk
or do you want to bet?
84
00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:34,270
Anti- radar paint,
turbocharged,j.j.
85
00:06:34,343 --> 00:06:37,542
Nobody can stop us now.
Nobody.
86
00:06:53,650 --> 00:06:57,260
What are you, some kind of nut?
Who do you think you are?
87
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,750
I am Captain Chaos.
88
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:08,438
And this...
This is my faithful companion, Cato.
89
00:07:08,517 --> 00:07:10,612
Say hello, Cato.
90
00:07:12,356 --> 00:07:14,481
Been a cop long?
91
00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:20,550
Funny!
You wanna talk or you wanna bet?
92
00:07:20,129 --> 00:07:23,300
- You got 50 to 1.
- And you know what you got?
93
00:07:23,101 --> 00:07:25,294
You got yourself a bet.
94
00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:28,601
Twenty big large ones.
95
00:07:28,672 --> 00:07:30,380
That's a million dollars.
96
00:07:31,209 --> 00:07:32,869
If you win.
97
00:07:32,944 --> 00:07:37,210
I don't know if you know my partner.
Jamie, you remember jimmy the Greek.
98
00:07:38,819 --> 00:07:40,308
Jamie Blake.
99
00:07:40,387 --> 00:07:43,830
You used to drive
that Formula One...
100
00:07:43,156 --> 00:07:45,316
when high- button shoes
were in style.
101
00:07:45,392 --> 00:07:47,657
Let me tell you something, Greek.
102
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,698
We got a secret weapon.
103
00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:53,462
- God is our copilot.
- You'll need him.
104
00:07:57,539 --> 00:08:00,564
"God is our copilot"?
105
00:08:00,641 --> 00:08:02,872
- Remember our car?
- Yeah.
106
00:08:02,947 --> 00:08:05,744
- Two seats?
- Two seats.
107
00:08:05,815 --> 00:08:09,411
Where's he gonna sit?
Where?
108
00:08:11,188 --> 00:08:13,180
Listen to me, El Porko.
109
00:08:13,257 --> 00:08:17,421
We're not in the Indianapolis 500.
We can't have a car with numbers on it.
110
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:21,127
- We have to camouflage the car somehow.
- Like what,j.j.?
111
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,897
How about a limousine
with diplomatic plates?
112
00:08:25,874 --> 00:08:28,397
I know. A bloodmobile.
113
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:31,340
They'd never stop
a bloodmobile, would they?
114
00:08:31,112 --> 00:08:34,120
Ice cream truck!
An ice cream truck!
115
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:36,106
You know. They got to get there
before it melts.
116
00:08:40,123 --> 00:08:41,714
Terrific.
117
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:43,851
- We're out of beer, Victor.
- Sorry.
118
00:08:45,930 --> 00:08:47,789
Take it easy! You're acting crazy
since this Cannonball thing!
119
00:08:47,863 --> 00:08:50,128
I'm gonna pull in here
and get some beer, all right?
120
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,335
How about an armored personnel carrier?
They wouldn't stop that, would they?
121
00:09:12,392 --> 00:09:15,518
Hey, don't bother to park.
I'll be right out.
122
00:09:27,876 --> 00:09:29,100
Thank you.
123
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,700
We could get a black Trans Am.
No, that's been done.
124
00:09:56,576 --> 00:09:59,635
Hello, Mother.
I trust you've had a pleasant day.
125
00:09:59,713 --> 00:10:02,911
A nightmare.
A living nightmare.
126
00:10:02,984 --> 00:10:05,750
You are killing me, Seymour...
127
00:10:05,150 --> 00:10:09,747
killing me a slow death
with this idiot spy business.
128
00:10:09,825 --> 00:10:13,624
- Mother, you don't understand.
- What is there to understand?
129
00:10:13,695 --> 00:10:17,426
I'm looking at my son,
Seymour Goldfarb,jr...
130
00:10:17,497 --> 00:10:20,591
son of Seymour Goldfarb,
God rest his soul...
131
00:10:20,668 --> 00:10:23,763
and heir to the Goldfarb Girdles
fortune.
132
00:10:23,838 --> 00:10:25,774
And what is he doing?
133
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,833
Walking around, acting...
134
00:10:27,912 --> 00:10:31,314
like he was some goy movie star
named Roger Moore.
135
00:10:31,383 --> 00:10:34,249
And for this I sent you
to the best schools?
136
00:10:34,318 --> 00:10:37,756
For this I'm spending 8,000
on orthodontia work?
137
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:41,279
For this I'm going broke
paying that Beverly Hills analyst?
138
00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:42,917
And now...
139
00:10:42,994 --> 00:10:44,518
this.
140
00:10:45,432 --> 00:10:48,991
The sleep-in maid found it
under your pillow this morning.
141
00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:51,263
What is the meaning of this?
142
00:10:51,337 --> 00:10:54,680
The meaning, Mother dear,
is a quick death.
143
00:10:54,143 --> 00:10:56,975
I warned you not to interfere
in my affairs.
144
00:10:57,460 --> 00:11:00,536
Seymour, put that away.
It's liable to go off.
145
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,777
I'm terribly sorry, Mother...
146
00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:05,182
but you know too much.
147
00:11:05,253 --> 00:11:07,187
You see, in my business...
148
00:11:07,256 --> 00:11:11,351
even the deepest family relationships
aren't worth a farthing.
149
00:11:11,425 --> 00:11:12,793
Farthing, schmarthing.
150
00:11:17,101 --> 00:11:18,694
Zie gezunt, Mama.
151
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,599
Where did I go wrong?
152
00:11:23,674 --> 00:11:26,142
You know something, Mama?
You're too jewish.
153
00:11:27,647 --> 00:11:30,548
Of course, we could always go
with a nice, plain- jane Chevy...
154
00:11:30,651 --> 00:11:33,117
with a truckload
of Sidewinder missiles.
155
00:11:33,184 --> 00:11:35,847
J. J., maybe you should slow this down
just a little bit.
156
00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:39,380
- I can't hear you.
- I said, you're making waves.
157
00:11:39,458 --> 00:11:42,552
- You're bothering the people.
- What the hell does going too fast...
158
00:11:42,627 --> 00:11:45,563
got to do with being
in the Cannonball?
159
00:11:45,634 --> 00:11:48,758
J. J., you're making very big waves.
160
00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:51,361
How are ya?
161
00:12:02,951 --> 00:12:07,119
You guys are lucky.
You tore the heck out of that boat.
162
00:12:07,190 --> 00:12:09,954
- You all right, Victor?
- Oh, I'm fine,j.j.
163
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:13,860
It only hurts when I point.
164
00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:15,222
You know, maybe
it would've been better...
165
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:18,235
if you didn't pay
so much attention to those girls.
166
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,327
- Nobody's perfect.
- That's true.
167
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,339
Nobody's perfect...
168
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,932
but him.
169
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,270
Sorry.
170
00:12:27,349 --> 00:12:28,973
How far is it
to the hospital?
171
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:30,982
- About ten miles.
- Oh, yeah?
172
00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:33,180
How long will it take us
to get there?
173
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:34,451
About four or five minutes.
174
00:12:34,522 --> 00:12:37,489
You can smoke through traffic like
shot through a gun in this thing.
175
00:14:32,988 --> 00:14:34,288
Camel.
176
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:36,891
Not the Camel, schmuck. Winston.
177
00:15:09,198 --> 00:15:12,660
Starting tomorrow, you and George
will be riding in the car with me.
178
00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:13,650
Yes, sir.
179
00:15:21,979 --> 00:15:24,710
How goes your driving, my brother?
180
00:15:24,148 --> 00:15:26,444
Allah be praised, dear sister.
181
00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:30,544
My speed is rivaled only by
the lightning bolts from the heavens.
182
00:15:35,729 --> 00:15:38,721
And I suppose you still intend
to go through that race...
183
00:15:38,798 --> 00:15:40,628
with the infidel Americans.
184
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:42,827
Cannonball will fall...
185
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,640
to the forces of Islam!
186
00:15:45,139 --> 00:15:48,437
My dear sister, I pledge it!
187
00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:50,978
Drink! Drink!
188
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:53,379
- The car will be there, correct?
- Yes, Mr. Compton.
189
00:15:53,447 --> 00:15:55,608
Don't forget to cancel
the board meeting on Monday.
190
00:15:55,752 --> 00:15:59,500
I'm going to spend a week
in Spain at the castle.
191
00:15:59,121 --> 00:16:02,319
- Yes, Mr. Compton.
- I want you to find an old friend...
192
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:04,383
a Mr. Shakey Finch.
193
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:08,550
He is the finest long- distance
motorcycle rider in this nation.
194
00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:10,660
- You got it?
- Yes, Mr. Compton.
195
00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:15,769
Mr. Compton, the board has asked me
to express their concern one more time.
196
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:18,741
- Please reconsider.
- Not possible, Arthur.
197
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,779
The board will have to permit me
this one indulgence...
198
00:16:21,846 --> 00:16:23,370
to my ego.
199
00:16:28,923 --> 00:16:32,490
I've gotta be free
200
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:35,392
I've gotta be me
201
00:16:35,463 --> 00:16:37,550
To live
202
00:16:45,809 --> 00:16:48,276
Got to be free
203
00:16:48,343 --> 00:16:51,575
- Boy, ain't he something?
- Are you kidding?
204
00:16:51,648 --> 00:16:53,912
That is the dumbest thing I've seen
since that dimwit...
205
00:16:53,983 --> 00:16:55,885
tried to jump the Grand Canyon.
206
00:17:00,659 --> 00:17:02,717
He's still on our ass.
207
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,259
I don't think...
I don't think...
208
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,590
I don't think he's a brother either.
209
00:17:06,131 --> 00:17:09,965
Don't you worry, son.
I'm gonna lose him up here at the motel.
210
00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:13,620
Hey, I remember.
There's a spot...
211
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:16,233
There's a spot right in back...
212
00:17:16,308 --> 00:17:18,245
and it's a perfect spot to hide.
213
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,677
All right. Wonderful, wonderful.
214
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,409
- Take... Take...
- Left.
215
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:24,417
Oh, hell. Take a left.
216
00:17:27,122 --> 00:17:29,682
I can't see shit, can you?
217
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,560
No problem, son.
No problem.
218
00:17:34,661 --> 00:17:35,822
What was that?
219
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:50,539
That's... That's... That's...
220
00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:53,876
perfect.
221
00:17:53,952 --> 00:17:55,977
That's better than hiding...
222
00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:58,489
- That's better than hiding it out back.
- I know.
223
00:17:58,558 --> 00:18:00,492
But the only problem
we got now...
224
00:18:00,559 --> 00:18:02,994
is we have to go and retune it.
225
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:05,462
All right?
Let's go get a beer first.
226
00:18:05,531 --> 00:18:08,127
Yeah, let's go get... Let's... Beer.
227
00:18:09,569 --> 00:18:13,130
I'd like to thank Mona Carson
of Westport...
228
00:18:13,207 --> 00:18:15,368
for that wonderful combination
of hemp sandwiches...
229
00:18:15,443 --> 00:18:18,277
and wood chip consomme.
230
00:18:18,346 --> 00:18:22,373
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
231
00:18:22,453 --> 00:18:24,419
This is a titty turn...
232
00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:26,614
terrific turnout for the meeting.
233
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,954
- Yes, terrific.
- He led the campaign...
234
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:33,429
to ban the use of electric toothbrushes
during peak load hours.
235
00:18:35,340 --> 00:18:37,364
I suppose you...
236
00:18:37,435 --> 00:18:39,368
came here to hear me speak.
237
00:18:39,437 --> 00:18:43,167
No, not really.
I'm into trees.
238
00:18:44,944 --> 00:18:46,377
Trees.
239
00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:49,813
Friends of Nature love trees,
you know...
240
00:18:49,881 --> 00:18:51,873
so I come to the meetings.
241
00:18:51,951 --> 00:18:54,386
That's very interesting.
242
00:18:54,454 --> 00:18:56,979
I love anybody who loves trees.
243
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,586
They happen to be
a great passion of mine.
244
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,610
You know what I like
best about trees?
245
00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:05,860
- No, what?
- That you can lie under them...
246
00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:08,801
on a moonlit night
with the breeze blowing...
247
00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:11,339
ball your brains out.
248
00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:13,806
Mr. Arthur j. Foyt.
249
00:19:16,279 --> 00:19:17,747
Mr. Foyt.
250
00:19:24,321 --> 00:19:26,552
Give that sucker some juice.
251
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:31,290
The only thing hiding it...
hiding it... hiding it in the pool...
252
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:34,361
did was make it pretty.
253
00:19:34,432 --> 00:19:36,730
It ain't running worth a shit.
And it's wet!
254
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,363
I know that. Just hit it
one more time, all right?
255
00:19:41,107 --> 00:19:44,474
Hold it! Hold it!
I know what's wrong.
256
00:19:44,545 --> 00:19:46,479
Don't think for a minute...
257
00:19:46,549 --> 00:19:49,950
that we in Washington...
258
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,715
don't appreciate your Mothers' March...
259
00:19:52,788 --> 00:19:56,153
to ban the sale
of colored toilet paper...
260
00:19:56,226 --> 00:19:59,218
to help reduce irritation...
261
00:19:59,296 --> 00:20:01,695
of the rectum.
262
00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:05,996
But today...
263
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,231
I want to direct my remarks...
264
00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:10,830
to an old...
265
00:20:10,908 --> 00:20:13,876
and familiar enemy...
266
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,312
the automobile.
267
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,914
One more time.
Let me hear it.
268
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:28,428
It reminds me of a poem...
269
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,430
I wrote.
270
00:20:30,498 --> 00:20:33,330
"The automobile, the automobile..."
271
00:20:48,284 --> 00:20:49,979
Are you all right?
272
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:52,681
They picked on the wrong one
this time!
273
00:20:52,757 --> 00:20:55,486
I guarantee
they're gonna pay for this...
274
00:20:55,557 --> 00:20:58,186
because when the going gets tough,
the tough get going.
275
00:21:01,367 --> 00:21:03,892
She's running good now, buddy.
276
00:21:03,967 --> 00:21:06,131
I still think
we ought to paint it.
277
00:21:06,205 --> 00:21:09,504
If we're gonna paint it, let's go ahead
and Midasize it, all right?
278
00:21:13,945 --> 00:21:15,345
There's the motel.
279
00:21:15,414 --> 00:21:18,385
The Cannonballers have the parking lot
all jammed up.
280
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:21,460
Man, I can't handle this traffic.
281
00:21:21,123 --> 00:21:23,885
Hold on to your lunch pail.
This may get a little weird.
282
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,153
Wait a minute.
283
00:21:27,228 --> 00:21:28,160
Slow down!
284
00:21:36,472 --> 00:21:38,566
You the one running this flea bag?
285
00:21:38,643 --> 00:21:40,632
- Where are the hookers?
- What?
286
00:21:40,709 --> 00:21:43,376
Hookers, man.
Where are the hookers?
287
00:21:43,446 --> 00:21:45,382
Excuse me.
288
00:21:47,118 --> 00:21:49,347
- Hello, Mad Dog.
- Hey,j.j.
289
00:21:49,421 --> 00:21:51,614
You probably didn't realize this,
but the parking lot's outside.
290
00:21:51,688 --> 00:21:53,850
Yeah, I know.
Brakes went out.
291
00:21:53,926 --> 00:21:56,223
- You think you're the president?
- Well...
292
00:21:56,292 --> 00:21:58,924
let me make one thing
perfectly clear.
293
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,264
We feel terrible about it.
And if they can't take a joke...
294
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,597
Thank goodness. We just had
a terrible accident.
295
00:22:07,673 --> 00:22:09,642
We'd like to help you,
but we're off duty.
296
00:22:09,710 --> 00:22:12,236
This man looks bad.
Maybe he's dead.
297
00:22:12,314 --> 00:22:15,646
Then you should call the coroner.
J. J., he don't look too good.
298
00:22:18,888 --> 00:22:21,411
- I think he just had his bell rung.
- Can't you do something?
299
00:22:21,491 --> 00:22:23,686
You're professionals.
300
00:22:23,761 --> 00:22:25,420
This is our day off.
301
00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:29,328
Will you guys do something?
This man's life is hanging by a thread.
302
00:22:38,308 --> 00:22:41,437
You have to be scientific. It could go
up the nostrils, affect the sinuses.
303
00:22:41,512 --> 00:22:43,447
That's true.
304
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,280
There.
Don't bother about the bill.
305
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,656
Just give him
a couple of enemas...
306
00:22:58,734 --> 00:23:00,791
and call me in the morning.
307
00:23:02,438 --> 00:23:04,302
- Hi. How's it going?
- Perfect.
308
00:23:04,371 --> 00:23:07,364
We'd like two singles.
J.j. McClure, Victor Prinzim.
309
00:23:07,442 --> 00:23:09,707
I'll be in the bar.
310
00:23:09,777 --> 00:23:12,111
I always like a couple drinks
right after surgery.
311
00:23:19,255 --> 00:23:21,416
I wonder why that guy
parked his truck in the lobby.
312
00:23:21,491 --> 00:23:23,925
Only in America.
Get me 12 suites.
313
00:23:23,994 --> 00:23:26,396
- Better yet, the entire floor.
- Yes, sir.
314
00:23:28,434 --> 00:23:30,992
Too much couscous.
315
00:23:31,700 --> 00:23:33,163
I would sure as H
like to get my hands...
316
00:23:33,239 --> 00:23:36,172
on those Hell's Angels
who were driving that truck.
317
00:23:37,443 --> 00:23:39,376
But you know, it's probably
just as well...
318
00:23:39,446 --> 00:23:42,812
because I am a wild bull
when I lose my temper.
319
00:23:44,685 --> 00:23:46,618
I love wild bulls.
320
00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:53,461
It's really funny that you should...
Oh, my God. It's them.
321
00:23:53,662 --> 00:23:55,187
- "Them" who?
- Those Hell's Angels.
322
00:23:55,263 --> 00:23:57,754
They could be part
of a terrorist group.
323
00:23:57,834 --> 00:23:59,461
I don't know.
324
00:24:01,102 --> 00:24:03,833
This place is filling up...
325
00:24:03,907 --> 00:24:06,431
with some real hoodlums.
326
00:24:06,508 --> 00:24:09,501
Do you see anything weird back there?
327
00:24:10,681 --> 00:24:12,239
I'm gonna find out.
328
00:24:23,697 --> 00:24:26,857
I don't understand why it's
so difficult for you to find a doctor.
329
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:31,131
It's very, very hard. It's not easy
finding a doctor to take off like that.
330
00:24:31,204 --> 00:24:33,467
- Dr. Gay doesn't even leave his house.
- You don't understand.
331
00:24:33,541 --> 00:24:37,340
If you're going to win and you're
driving an ambulance, you need a doctor.
332
00:24:38,579 --> 00:24:41,572
- What does Dr. Gay do?
- He's my shrink.
333
00:24:41,651 --> 00:24:43,582
- He was committed yesterday.
- Why?
334
00:24:43,652 --> 00:24:46,450
He was smoking bananas.
335
00:24:46,522 --> 00:24:49,491
He gets very upset
when he talks to him.
336
00:24:49,561 --> 00:24:51,493
So do I.
337
00:24:52,663 --> 00:24:56,293
Sorry.
I don't want fruit in my drink.
338
00:24:59,703 --> 00:25:01,138
Congratulations.
339
00:25:01,206 --> 00:25:03,731
Here's to you.
Good luck.
340
00:25:06,578 --> 00:25:07,978
You dumb shits.
341
00:25:08,470 --> 00:25:10,311
They haven't got a chance.
342
00:25:10,383 --> 00:25:11,940
You know what?
343
00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:15,545
I think I'm gonna call the Greek
and put another 10,000 on us.
344
00:25:19,259 --> 00:25:21,692
What about those two?
345
00:25:21,762 --> 00:25:24,231
Maybe one of those beauties
could be our patient.
346
00:25:24,299 --> 00:25:26,823
Both of them could be.
347
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:29,233
I could be very patient
with those patients.
348
00:25:30,874 --> 00:25:32,805
They're very lick...
very likeable.
349
00:25:32,874 --> 00:25:36,403
Tell you what. Let's go over there
and talk to them.
350
00:25:36,478 --> 00:25:38,207
- Okay.
- I'll do all the talking.
351
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:42,470
You just think about the doctor.
352
00:25:52,397 --> 00:25:54,195
- Good evening, ladies.
- Hello.
353
00:25:54,267 --> 00:25:57,895
My name is j.j. McClure, and this is
Victor Prinzim, my executive assistant.
354
00:25:57,970 --> 00:25:59,960
- Hi.
- I'll do the talking, Victor.
355
00:26:00,380 --> 00:26:02,235
Terrorists, my dimpled ass.
356
00:26:02,306 --> 00:26:06,835
These people make terrorists look like
the Sisters of Charity.
357
00:26:06,914 --> 00:26:10,406
These guys are Cannonballers.
358
00:26:12,987 --> 00:26:14,921
What is that, a bowling team?
359
00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:17,516
As you probably know, we're
the favorites to win the Cannonball...
360
00:26:17,592 --> 00:26:19,527
and I was wondering if one of you
or both of you...
361
00:26:19,594 --> 00:26:21,529
might like to ride
in the winning vehicle.
362
00:26:21,595 --> 00:26:24,630
That would be very exciting.
363
00:26:24,132 --> 00:26:25,692
Exciting.
364
00:26:25,769 --> 00:26:27,929
But we're Cannonballers ourselves,
thank you.
365
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,164
They're Cannonballers.
366
00:26:30,241 --> 00:26:31,971
As for the winning vehicle...
367
00:26:32,430 --> 00:26:34,238
we'll just have to wait and see.
368
00:26:34,311 --> 00:26:35,711
You haven't seen our equipment.
369
00:26:38,216 --> 00:26:39,205
Equipment?
370
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:15,820
Don't tell me your name.
371
00:27:15,893 --> 00:27:17,825
Let me guess.
372
00:27:32,876 --> 00:27:34,847
I'll just call you Beauty, okay?
373
00:27:34,915 --> 00:27:36,779
That's nice.
374
00:27:36,850 --> 00:27:38,475
Thank you.
375
00:27:38,551 --> 00:27:40,109
Sit down.
376
00:27:44,325 --> 00:27:46,120
Are you one of those volleyballers?
377
00:27:46,193 --> 00:27:48,593
Cannonballers. No.
378
00:27:48,662 --> 00:27:50,130
Why are you dressed like that?
379
00:27:51,330 --> 00:27:53,193
Humanitarian reasons.
380
00:27:53,268 --> 00:27:56,396
I'm a wealthy philanthropist.
381
00:27:56,473 --> 00:27:58,599
Me and my partner ride around
in an ambulance...
382
00:27:58,673 --> 00:28:02,800
Looking for accidents,
trying to help people.
383
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,377
I don't think we were put
on this earth to hurt people.
384
00:28:05,449 --> 00:28:07,381
I think we were put
on this earth to...
385
00:28:07,452 --> 00:28:08,975
help people.
386
00:28:09,530 --> 00:28:11,545
- That's beautiful.
- Thank you.
387
00:28:11,622 --> 00:28:14,421
You must be a sensitive person.
388
00:28:14,492 --> 00:28:15,722
I try to be.
389
00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:18,388
I bet you're a fan of Rod McKuen.
390
00:28:18,466 --> 00:28:20,159
I listen to him every night.
391
00:28:20,233 --> 00:28:25,635
I'm into trees.
Have you ever heard of joyce Kilmer?
392
00:28:25,706 --> 00:28:27,832
She wrote a terrific poem
about a tree.
393
00:28:27,907 --> 00:28:29,375
He.
394
00:28:29,445 --> 00:28:30,637
Who?
395
00:28:30,712 --> 00:28:33,177
- He.
- He's a she?
396
00:28:33,247 --> 00:28:34,508
She's a he.
397
00:28:35,950 --> 00:28:39,680
Well, he wrote a really terrific
poem about a tree.
398
00:28:40,986 --> 00:28:43,890
- You know what I like best about trees?
- No, what?
399
00:28:43,959 --> 00:28:46,722
That you can lie under them
on a moonlit night...
400
00:28:46,795 --> 00:28:48,990
the leaves gently
blowing in the trees...
401
00:28:51,401 --> 00:28:52,527
Sorry.
402
00:28:52,601 --> 00:28:56,470
It's all right.
What were you saying about trees?
403
00:28:56,539 --> 00:29:00,568
I was saying,
what I like best about trees...
404
00:29:00,645 --> 00:29:04,672
is that, on a moonlit night
you can lie under them...
405
00:29:04,750 --> 00:29:06,878
with the leaves gently blowing...
406
00:29:06,953 --> 00:29:10,481
Hey,j. J., you'll never believe
what just happened to him.
407
00:29:10,558 --> 00:29:12,888
- I don't want to talk about it.
- He had the most wonderful time...
408
00:29:12,957 --> 00:29:16,190
I don't want to talk about him.
Victor, Beauty. Beauty, Victor.
409
00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:19,223
- Hello, Victor.
- You really are.
410
00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,789
- Do you want to hear about the doc?
- He's telling me about the doctor.
411
00:29:21,868 --> 00:29:23,835
- Oh, it's about the doctor.
- It's really important.
412
00:29:23,904 --> 00:29:26,600
- We need a doc for the ambulance.
- It'll keep.
413
00:29:26,675 --> 00:29:28,368
I'll leave you two alone.
414
00:29:28,443 --> 00:29:32,107
- But listen, I think you should hear...
- It'll keep!
415
00:29:32,182 --> 00:29:34,240
- It's really important.
- I want to talk to her.
416
00:29:35,586 --> 00:29:37,518
Who?
417
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:40,512
Now do you want to hear
about the doc?
418
00:29:40,591 --> 00:29:43,800
- No!
- It'll keep.
419
00:29:45,597 --> 00:29:48,462
Hey, Brad, old buddy!
How the hell are you?
420
00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:52,626
My God, it is you.
Hello, Shakey!
421
00:29:55,371 --> 00:29:57,898
Shakey, it's kind of tough
to get close to you.
422
00:29:57,975 --> 00:30:00,447
Last time I saw you,
you were a bit more svelte.
423
00:30:00,513 --> 00:30:03,174
Yeah, well, what can I tell you?
In the pizza business, when it's slow...
424
00:30:03,250 --> 00:30:06,185
you tend to eat the inventory.
425
00:30:06,253 --> 00:30:08,653
But that's not good for the Cannonball.
You know that.
426
00:30:08,721 --> 00:30:10,987
You don't need a motorcycle.
You need the Super Chief.
427
00:30:12,627 --> 00:30:15,322
Even with the extra tonnage,
I'm still the best there is.
428
00:30:15,398 --> 00:30:17,627
Yeah? Well, I'll tell you what.
429
00:30:17,699 --> 00:30:20,999
I got a throttle that's been sticking.
Why don't you fix that?
430
00:30:21,690 --> 00:30:24,165
Boss, this is the biggest coup...
431
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,870
in the history
of the safety enforcement unit.
432
00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:30,377
We're gonna blow this
Cannonball thing wide open...
433
00:30:30,447 --> 00:30:32,915
and then we're gonna hit congress
for a real budget...
434
00:30:32,982 --> 00:30:35,510
that will allow us to play
some real hardball.
435
00:30:35,585 --> 00:30:37,680
I mean, this is
our Three Mile Island...
436
00:30:37,756 --> 00:30:40,220
and Love Canal combined.
437
00:30:43,290 --> 00:30:46,624
- What's wrong?
- Look at the chicks.
438
00:30:47,899 --> 00:30:49,527
- What is it?
- Look at the chicks!
439
00:30:51,370 --> 00:30:53,965
If we were Methodists...
440
00:30:54,410 --> 00:30:57,501
what a shot we could have had
of getting laid right here.
441
00:30:59,810 --> 00:31:02,241
Listen, I want to get up there.
I don't want to miss a thing.
442
00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:07,520
All right. There you go.
Just as good as new. Give her a try.
443
00:31:07,589 --> 00:31:09,487
- That's it?
- That's it.
444
00:31:09,557 --> 00:31:12,117
All right.
445
00:31:12,193 --> 00:31:13,891
We'll see.
446
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,000
Hey, I don't think it's the throttle.
I think it's the clutch!
447
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,333
Good-bye.
448
00:31:20,404 --> 00:31:22,769
Look out!
Hey, watch out!
449
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,499
Watch out!
450
00:31:26,111 --> 00:31:28,773
Coming through!
451
00:31:35,689 --> 00:31:38,123
What in the hell was that?
452
00:31:38,192 --> 00:31:41,217
That must be the entry
of the National Safety Council.
453
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:14,892
Good day.
454
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:18,131
I am here to participate
in your little jaunt to California.
455
00:32:18,204 --> 00:32:20,899
Well, of course.
If you would sign in here, please.
456
00:32:25,346 --> 00:32:27,778
Hold still, Petey.
Say cheese.
457
00:32:29,249 --> 00:32:32,378
I realize the novelty
of a major celebrity...
458
00:32:32,453 --> 00:32:34,386
entering your little race...
459
00:32:34,455 --> 00:32:38,840
but kindly resist the temptation and
keep the media coverage to a minimum.
460
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,252
- Thank you.
- Will you hurry the hell up?
461
00:32:57,140 --> 00:32:58,606
Hurry up!
462
00:33:12,432 --> 00:33:16,458
Man does not live
on... on bread alone.
463
00:33:16,536 --> 00:33:19,665
What concerns me is, do we have
enough ice for all this beer?
464
00:33:21,209 --> 00:33:22,869
Plenty.
465
00:33:22,945 --> 00:33:25,970
Yeah, well, how about food, son.
Did you bring enough food?
466
00:33:27,113 --> 00:33:28,470
Plenty.
467
00:33:28,116 --> 00:33:30,175
Will you get serious?
Give me the rest of that beer.
468
00:33:40,996 --> 00:33:42,932
Excuse me, good sisters,
if you will.
469
00:33:43,100 --> 00:33:46,198
Father, we do have a race to run,
and we're running a little late.
470
00:33:46,270 --> 00:33:48,761
So will you come on?
Will you excuse him, good sisters?
471
00:33:50,739 --> 00:33:53,574
- Bye- bye.
- Don't run off. Tonight's the night.
472
00:33:55,817 --> 00:33:57,750
I'd like to welcome you all...
473
00:33:57,818 --> 00:34:00,684
to an event that's sometimes been
called the automotive counterpart...
474
00:34:00,754 --> 00:34:03,221
to the Bay of Pigs.
475
00:34:03,289 --> 00:34:06,157
You all are certainly
the most distinguished group...
476
00:34:06,224 --> 00:34:09,250
of highway scofflaws and degenerates...
477
00:34:09,329 --> 00:34:11,388
ever gathered together
in one place.
478
00:34:11,467 --> 00:34:12,900
We're gonna have fun.
479
00:34:12,966 --> 00:34:16,493
Of course you know certain skeptics
note that perhaps 10,000...
480
00:34:16,571 --> 00:34:18,970
of the nation's most elite
highway patrolmen...
481
00:34:19,390 --> 00:34:22,601
are out there waiting for us after
we start, but let's think positively.
482
00:34:22,677 --> 00:34:25,876
Think of the fact that there is
not one state in the 50...
483
00:34:25,949 --> 00:34:28,315
that has the death penalty
for speeding.
484
00:34:28,386 --> 00:34:30,217
Although I'm not sure about Ohio.
485
00:34:31,422 --> 00:34:34,254
Everybody is gonna get
a card like this.
486
00:34:34,323 --> 00:34:37,886
When you leave, you're gonna
punch out here at this time clock.
487
00:34:37,961 --> 00:34:40,297
Three thousand miles away from here...
488
00:34:40,365 --> 00:34:43,300
is another time clock just like that
at the Portofino Inn.
489
00:34:43,366 --> 00:34:47,204
The difference between the two times
is your time across the country.
490
00:34:47,273 --> 00:34:51,730
The record stands
at 32 hours and 51 minutes.
491
00:34:51,145 --> 00:34:55,579
Believe it or not, those guys did
break the 55 mile an hour speed limit.
492
00:34:58,484 --> 00:35:01,978
Let's get that first car up here.
We're gonna get this thing underway.
493
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:18,336
Go!
494
00:35:23,749 --> 00:35:26,130
- I know.
- All right. Where's the doctor?
495
00:35:26,830 --> 00:35:28,110
- I got everything else.
- Where's the doctor?
496
00:35:28,186 --> 00:35:30,486
- I got 60 gallons of gas...
- Can you read my lips?
497
00:35:30,554 --> 00:35:32,750
- Where is the doctor?
- The auxiliary tanks...
498
00:35:32,824 --> 00:35:35,316
Goddamn it, I gave you one
responsibility... to get a doctor.
499
00:35:35,394 --> 00:35:37,521
You give me no doctor.
Where is he?
500
00:35:37,597 --> 00:35:39,963
He got sick.
501
00:35:40,330 --> 00:35:42,661
Listen to what I'm telling you.
You go find a doctor.
502
00:35:42,735 --> 00:35:44,932
Get me Dr. Kildare.
Get me Dr. Livingston.
503
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:46,938
Get me Dr. Frankenstein.
Just get me a doctor.
504
00:35:47,700 --> 00:35:49,477
- Go where the doctors hang out.
- Where is that?
505
00:35:49,541 --> 00:35:50,909
Bars, golf courses.
506
00:35:50,979 --> 00:35:53,505
Golf course, bar. All right.
Where else? Hospital!
507
00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:54,842
Try that too.
508
00:35:54,915 --> 00:35:57,714
My jet will take you to California.
509
00:35:57,786 --> 00:36:00,255
It's time for you to punch out.
510
00:36:03,893 --> 00:36:06,522
I'll see you in California!
I love you!
511
00:36:12,971 --> 00:36:14,905
A toast to us, you and me.
512
00:36:14,974 --> 00:36:17,238
- We're gonna win the whole thing.
- It's a cinch.
513
00:36:17,308 --> 00:36:20,608
The more I look around
and see these turkeys...
514
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,374
I have...
515
00:36:24,784 --> 00:36:27,983
While you're drinking,
that truck to the left...
516
00:36:28,550 --> 00:36:30,581
Isn't that j.j. McClure?
517
00:36:30,657 --> 00:36:32,956
He's nothing.
518
00:36:33,270 --> 00:36:37,158
Don't worry about him.
It's the blimp next to him. The blimp.
519
00:36:37,234 --> 00:36:42,310
When he puts on that mask,
he'll blow your goddamn doors off.
520
00:36:42,103 --> 00:36:44,731
You understand that?
The blimp!
521
00:36:53,916 --> 00:36:55,852
Was that weird?
522
00:37:01,494 --> 00:37:03,754
It's a Nevada license plate...
523
00:37:03,828 --> 00:37:05,820
and that's...
524
00:37:05,898 --> 00:37:08,127
whiskey, zebra, alpha...
525
00:37:08,201 --> 00:37:10,635
niner, fiver, zero.
526
00:37:10,703 --> 00:37:12,603
- You got that?
- What?
527
00:37:13,772 --> 00:37:16,800
Just write W-Z-A...
No, here.
528
00:37:16,877 --> 00:37:21,577
Will you let me do it?
W-Z-A-9-5-0.
529
00:37:21,648 --> 00:37:25,779
See? Whiskey, zebra, alpha,
niner, fiver, zero.
530
00:37:31,492 --> 00:37:35,260
Okay, so it's Interstate 80
through Pennsylvania.
531
00:37:35,331 --> 00:37:39,325
Oh, that's a good looking piece.
532
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,306
And cunningly disguised
so it won't look like a racing car.
533
00:37:43,373 --> 00:37:46,830
You know, the cops would never
give that a second glance.
534
00:37:46,910 --> 00:37:50,439
Two hundred and twenty miles an hour,
and they won't get a second glance.
535
00:37:50,515 --> 00:37:52,450
Hey, when we get to California...
536
00:37:52,517 --> 00:37:55,384
I got a place out at Palos Verdes...
537
00:37:55,455 --> 00:37:58,720
You boys gonna start this thing or just
sit and wait for that paint to dry?
538
00:38:00,358 --> 00:38:01,851
Yes, sir.
539
00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:06,791
- How long till we stop?
- Eight hours.
540
00:38:06,867 --> 00:38:09,838
Damn, I gotta go to the john.
541
00:38:17,813 --> 00:38:19,770
Go.
542
00:38:23,418 --> 00:38:26,911
Mad Dog, you are gonna take the shortcut
to the interstate, aren't you?
543
00:38:26,989 --> 00:38:29,151
We're here to win, ain't we?
544
00:38:29,225 --> 00:38:33,920
If you're gonna be a bear,
be a grizzly.
545
00:38:39,638 --> 00:38:41,571
My God, Pamela.
546
00:38:41,639 --> 00:38:43,575
Did you see that?
547
00:38:43,642 --> 00:38:48,306
They drove right through those trees.
I love trees. Did I tell you...
548
00:38:48,380 --> 00:38:51,508
We are going right down there and bring
this thing to a screeching halt...
549
00:38:51,583 --> 00:38:52,951
right now.
550
00:38:53,190 --> 00:38:55,352
Buckle up.
We're going into action.
551
00:38:57,725 --> 00:39:00,194
Would you mind?
552
00:39:00,261 --> 00:39:03,288
- Very civil.
- Might be easier with your lights on.
553
00:39:03,366 --> 00:39:05,300
Why advertise?
554
00:39:06,701 --> 00:39:08,898
- Wait a minute, Father.
- What?
555
00:39:08,970 --> 00:39:12,702
That's a no-no. Haven't you heard? They
haven't allowed that for 2,000 years.
556
00:39:12,774 --> 00:39:15,299
No, look. I'm a liberal wing.
557
00:39:15,377 --> 00:39:17,208
Way out on the other
part of the church.
558
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,874
- It's nothing at all.
- Keep flying, Father.
559
00:39:25,191 --> 00:39:27,591
How about just one of you?
560
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,328
Who says cops won't stop honeymooners?
561
00:39:32,397 --> 00:39:34,764
Anyhow, why do I
have to be the bride?
562
00:39:34,833 --> 00:39:36,770
Shut up, sweetie,
and punch the clock.
563
00:39:38,370 --> 00:39:41,667
- Okay, go slow until I get my wig on.
- Yes, dear.
564
00:39:44,976 --> 00:39:47,847
Well, old pal of mine,
are we all set for California?
565
00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:53,310
- Next time, Methodist. Methodist!
- All right, pal of mine.
566
00:39:53,388 --> 00:39:55,415
Okay, okay. You're all right.
567
00:39:55,492 --> 00:39:57,856
Okay, now, who's driving?
568
00:39:57,928 --> 00:39:59,416
- You are.
- You're driving.
569
00:39:59,494 --> 00:40:02,259
- I can't drive.
- Then I'm driving.
570
00:40:02,330 --> 00:40:03,925
Yeah, I think you are.
571
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,864
All right.
Put me down.
572
00:40:07,505 --> 00:40:09,871
You hold this.
I'll get in the car.
573
00:40:16,814 --> 00:40:19,750
- Come on.
- I'm coming.
574
00:40:19,818 --> 00:40:21,719
Somebody's hat!
575
00:40:27,393 --> 00:40:29,327
Hold my drink.
576
00:40:41,609 --> 00:40:42,871
Hit it!
577
00:40:49,619 --> 00:40:52,520
Thank you, good sisters.
578
00:40:52,589 --> 00:40:56,820
May the good Lord take a liking to you,
but not too soon.
579
00:40:56,158 --> 00:40:58,930
Bless you, my children.
580
00:40:58,162 --> 00:41:01,640
Those guys are more juiced up
than that Ferrari.
581
00:41:15,749 --> 00:41:18,183
- J. J., wait. I got the doc.
- Terrific.
582
00:41:18,253 --> 00:41:20,719
No, wait.
He's in the ambulance. This way.
583
00:41:22,957 --> 00:41:25,424
Before I open this,
don't get your hopes up too high.
584
00:41:25,494 --> 00:41:27,554
- I was pressed for time.
- No problem.
585
00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:33,257
Holy shit!
586
00:41:33,335 --> 00:41:35,394
I'm honored, sir.
587
00:41:35,471 --> 00:41:37,667
I'm Doctor Nicholas...
588
00:41:37,741 --> 00:41:40,733
Nickolas Van Helsing,
professor of proctology...
589
00:41:40,811 --> 00:41:42,745
and other related tendencies.
590
00:41:42,812 --> 00:41:45,281
Graduate of the University
of Rangoon...
591
00:41:45,349 --> 00:41:46,943
and assorted night classes...
592
00:41:47,170 --> 00:41:50,454
at the Knoxville, Tennessee,
College of Faith Healing.
593
00:41:50,521 --> 00:41:53,356
You may be a little
overqualified for this job.
594
00:41:53,423 --> 00:41:55,392
You got your equipment with you?
595
00:41:55,460 --> 00:41:57,792
I never go anywhere without it.
596
00:41:57,863 --> 00:42:01,321
However, in my particular line of work,
I seldom need more than this.
597
00:42:04,872 --> 00:42:05,838
Or this.
598
00:42:12,679 --> 00:42:14,409
We'll talk about this later.
599
00:42:14,483 --> 00:42:17,883
Now, sir, before we commence
this odyssey...
600
00:42:17,955 --> 00:42:20,923
which I understand will carry us
across this grand nation...
601
00:42:20,989 --> 00:42:22,957
from sea to shining sea...
602
00:42:23,260 --> 00:42:25,962
there's the matter of my compensation.
603
00:42:26,290 --> 00:42:28,519
I've determined that my services
will require...
604
00:42:28,598 --> 00:42:30,531
the payment of $2,000.
605
00:42:34,304 --> 00:42:37,274
I was thinking more
along the lines of $200.
606
00:42:37,342 --> 00:42:39,537
Fortunately...
607
00:42:39,611 --> 00:42:43,637
my practice allows me
a certain flexibility.
608
00:42:44,550 --> 00:42:48,700
After checking my schedule, I find
I'll be able to make the journey.
609
00:42:48,870 --> 00:42:50,680
As far as the money's concerned,
you've got a deal.
610
00:42:54,428 --> 00:42:56,200
We're off!
611
00:42:58,865 --> 00:43:00,165
Here we go.
612
00:43:00,234 --> 00:43:03,397
Three thousand carefree,
madcap miles to California.
613
00:43:03,471 --> 00:43:05,406
California, here we come
614
00:43:05,473 --> 00:43:07,997
Right back where we started from
615
00:43:08,750 --> 00:43:11,206
Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have
a female patient in the back...
616
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,339
thanks to your wonderful Cousin Tessie.
617
00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:17,319
It's not my fault
that she didn't fit in the stretcher.
618
00:43:17,386 --> 00:43:18,876
Doesn't fit in the ambulance.
619
00:43:18,955 --> 00:43:21,150
I got the doc here, didn't I?
620
00:43:22,928 --> 00:43:27,728
Don't ever tell me where you got him.
I don't want to know where you got him.
621
00:43:27,797 --> 00:43:30,640
I was just surprised
that all the animals there were...
622
00:43:30,136 --> 00:43:32,228
I don't want to know
where you got him!
623
00:43:33,774 --> 00:43:35,831
Hey, maybe I could be the patient.
624
00:43:35,908 --> 00:43:38,709
That's a good idea.
Everybody would believe you were sick.
625
00:43:38,778 --> 00:43:41,679
- Don't you believe he's sick?
- Want me to examine him?
626
00:43:44,180 --> 00:43:46,487
Him doesn't like it
when you say bad things about me.
627
00:43:46,555 --> 00:43:48,819
And you know that.
628
00:43:48,890 --> 00:43:51,790
Thanks to you, though,
we don't have a female patient.
629
00:43:51,859 --> 00:43:54,954
And we've got to find a female...
630
00:43:56,631 --> 00:43:58,121
Damn Cannonballers.
631
00:44:03,410 --> 00:44:04,767
I'm so happy you're here.
632
00:44:04,839 --> 00:44:07,639
- Can you help me with Mr...
- Foyt.
633
00:44:07,711 --> 00:44:10,736
- Foyt.
- Sure. That's what I'm here for.
634
00:44:10,815 --> 00:44:13,683
Mr. Foyt. Go around and get in
the emergency entrance.
635
00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:18,319
Come on right here.
There we go. Hit it!
636
00:44:18,390 --> 00:44:20,552
Wait, I'm not...
637
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,963
This is really terrific...
638
00:44:25,310 --> 00:44:27,590
the way you guys go around
helping people.
639
00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:29,692
Next year we're going
for the Nobel Prize.
640
00:44:29,768 --> 00:44:31,737
That's where the big bucks are.
641
00:44:35,108 --> 00:44:38,136
You forgot Mr... Mr...
642
00:44:40,382 --> 00:44:44,579
Well, we got you.
We're batting.500. Nobody's perfect.
643
00:44:44,653 --> 00:44:46,680
Well, I think you have to go back
and pick him up.
644
00:44:49,250 --> 00:44:51,857
We'd really like to,
but we're on kind a tight schedule.
645
00:44:51,928 --> 00:44:53,861
We're on our way to California.
646
00:44:53,931 --> 00:44:56,991
You'd be amazed how many
sick people there are out there.
647
00:44:57,670 --> 00:45:00,300
They need our help.
We could pick him up on the way back.
648
00:45:03,673 --> 00:45:05,938
Victor, can you help me?
649
00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:08,742
No, I can't.
I can't do anything.
650
00:45:08,812 --> 00:45:11,213
But he can.
651
00:45:11,286 --> 00:45:13,149
Who can?
652
00:45:13,219 --> 00:45:14,518
Him.
653
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,535
Excuse me.
654
00:45:30,106 --> 00:45:31,505
Doctor...
655
00:45:36,812 --> 00:45:39,576
My God, the perfect specimen.
656
00:45:39,651 --> 00:45:43,105
J. J., you want me to start
the examination right away?
657
00:45:43,185 --> 00:45:46,120
I'm gonna like this job.
Right here, honey.
658
00:45:46,188 --> 00:45:48,124
No, thank you.
Not right now.
659
00:45:56,300 --> 00:45:58,395
Of course, man.
This took 30 years.
660
00:46:06,914 --> 00:46:08,711
They won't be able to see us...
661
00:46:08,781 --> 00:46:10,250
the son of a guns.
662
00:46:32,209 --> 00:46:33,904
I'm really sorry about that...
663
00:46:33,977 --> 00:46:35,741
little lapse, Officer.
664
00:46:35,814 --> 00:46:37,781
Normally I drive
right around the speed limit.
665
00:46:37,849 --> 00:46:42,149
We all make mistakes, miss, but 160?
That's a little more than a lapse.
666
00:46:51,664 --> 00:46:54,964
What the hell is going on here?
Everybody's driving like maniacs.
667
00:46:55,350 --> 00:46:56,502
I don't know, Officer.
668
00:46:56,570 --> 00:46:59,199
Let me see
your driver's license, please.
669
00:47:11,754 --> 00:47:14,987
What the hell. I can't penalize
nice girls like you...
670
00:47:15,590 --> 00:47:17,753
for a little indiscretion...
671
00:47:17,828 --> 00:47:20,295
with the whole road packed with
speed-crazy lunatics.
672
00:47:21,966 --> 00:47:24,399
Here. You girls have a nice trip.
673
00:47:24,470 --> 00:47:26,561
- Drive carefully and take it easy.
- Thank you.
674
00:47:26,638 --> 00:47:29,836
- Come back and see us next year.
- Bye.
675
00:47:31,542 --> 00:47:34,104
Take care.
Keep it in the road.
676
00:47:38,184 --> 00:47:40,153
I don't know why you're pouting.
677
00:47:40,220 --> 00:47:43,554
I mean, look. We're taking
a nice, leisurely trip to California.
678
00:47:43,623 --> 00:47:45,818
And we're picking up all the bills.
This could be fun.
679
00:47:45,891 --> 00:47:48,530
I can't believe
this is happening to me.
680
00:47:48,128 --> 00:47:50,153
This is not a joke anymore.
I'm being kidnapped.
681
00:47:50,228 --> 00:47:52,223
You can call it kidnapping
if you want to be rude.
682
00:47:52,301 --> 00:47:55,270
Just think. We have
a professional physician on board...
683
00:47:55,338 --> 00:47:56,964
in case somebody gets swamp fever.
684
00:47:59,641 --> 00:48:01,667
You guys are strange.
685
00:48:07,283 --> 00:48:08,841
We got company.
686
00:48:08,918 --> 00:48:10,683
Yeah, I hear.
687
00:48:10,755 --> 00:48:13,746
Okay, Beauty, you lie down
and be a patient for the police.
688
00:48:13,825 --> 00:48:15,848
- Come on. Why?
- Don't!
689
00:48:15,927 --> 00:48:18,417
I'm not gonna help you.
You didn't even help Mr...
690
00:48:21,701 --> 00:48:23,861
Maybe I can help.
691
00:48:24,671 --> 00:48:26,196
Dear God!
692
00:48:26,273 --> 00:48:30,200
It's all right, miss. It doesn't hurt.
Give it to myself all the time.
693
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,690
Yeah. He gives it to himself
all the time.
694
00:48:33,847 --> 00:48:35,337
Show her.
695
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,378
Come on, Doc.
Show her.
696
00:48:42,157 --> 00:48:43,623
Show her.
697
00:48:57,309 --> 00:49:00,764
There. You see?
That didn't hurt.
698
00:49:02,547 --> 00:49:04,447
- J.j.?
- No, thanks.
699
00:49:31,313 --> 00:49:33,578
Hi, guys. What's up?
700
00:49:33,649 --> 00:49:34,912
What's up?
701
00:49:34,985 --> 00:49:38,680
You guys are running at 120.
Your lights are flashing all over.
702
00:49:38,754 --> 00:49:41,418
- We've got a patient in there.
- You were still speeding.
703
00:49:42,493 --> 00:49:44,652
She's very sick.
704
00:49:44,727 --> 00:49:46,959
There's not a hospital within 50 miles.
Where are you headed?
705
00:49:47,310 --> 00:49:49,727
- UCLA.
- UCLA?
706
00:49:49,801 --> 00:49:52,300
- UCLA Medical Center.
- L.A.
707
00:49:52,103 --> 00:49:53,332
California?
708
00:49:54,673 --> 00:49:58,165
This is going to sound like a dumb
question, but if she's that sick...
709
00:49:58,243 --> 00:49:59,732
why didn't you fly her?
710
00:49:59,812 --> 00:50:02,440
Why didn't we fly her?
711
00:50:04,285 --> 00:50:07,582
I'm just the driver.
We have to ask the doc.
712
00:50:08,756 --> 00:50:10,553
That's a good idea.
Why don't we ask the doc?
713
00:50:14,495 --> 00:50:15,861
I'm sorry.
714
00:50:17,966 --> 00:50:21,600
What's going on out here?
What is this crude interruption?
715
00:50:26,740 --> 00:50:29,202
The patient... Why can't she
be flown to California?
716
00:50:29,277 --> 00:50:32,420
Cysts on the walls of her lungs.
717
00:50:32,115 --> 00:50:33,549
Very rare.
718
00:50:33,617 --> 00:50:35,984
You see, airplanes are only
pressurized at 10,000 feet.
719
00:50:36,530 --> 00:50:38,887
Anybody who knows anything
about medicine knows...
720
00:50:38,958 --> 00:50:41,150
that she can't fly,
she has to be driven.
721
00:50:41,227 --> 00:50:43,524
We couldn't even go through Denver,
it's so high.
722
00:50:43,594 --> 00:50:47,430
Tell them to go back
and pick up Mr...
723
00:50:49,702 --> 00:50:52,900
- Is that lady all right?
- She's in great pain.
724
00:50:52,974 --> 00:50:56,533
Causes her to make
certain delirious deliriums.
725
00:51:00,213 --> 00:51:01,771
Sounds like she's on something to me.
726
00:51:03,619 --> 00:51:06,917
Let me explain something to you.
We have to get the senator's wife...
727
00:51:06,987 --> 00:51:09,355
to California in 72 hours.
728
00:51:09,426 --> 00:51:11,119
You understand what I'm saying?
729
00:51:12,861 --> 00:51:14,921
We have to get the senator's wife...
730
00:51:14,996 --> 00:51:17,866
to California in 72 hours.
731
00:51:18,736 --> 00:51:19,964
We're very close.
732
00:51:21,338 --> 00:51:25,468
As long as you're in New jersey,
I want you fellows to take it easy.
733
00:51:25,545 --> 00:51:28,700
- You got that?
- We sure do.
734
00:51:29,947 --> 00:51:32,542
- Thanks a lot.
- Get this rig out of here.
735
00:51:35,555 --> 00:51:37,886
I'm glad there's no cupcakes
like that in New jersey.
736
00:51:37,957 --> 00:51:40,324
You haven't met
my brother-in- law Ralph.
737
00:51:49,604 --> 00:51:51,729
I thought that cop was gonna have
a cardiac arrest...
738
00:51:51,804 --> 00:51:54,370
when we said we were going
to California.
739
00:51:55,878 --> 00:51:57,606
Wasn't Beauty terrific?
740
00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:59,545
The lady was splendid.
741
00:51:59,615 --> 00:52:03,109
She should have her picture
on the cover of the AMAJournal.
742
00:52:08,592 --> 00:52:11,260
I'm sure that doctor's
a very sweet man, basically.
743
00:52:11,950 --> 00:52:12,188
Ah, thanks.
744
00:52:12,264 --> 00:52:14,858
But don't you ever tell me
where you found him.
745
00:52:14,933 --> 00:52:16,764
Ever.
746
00:52:16,834 --> 00:52:19,430
It's the Cannonball.
It's the damn Cannonball for sure.
747
00:52:19,506 --> 00:52:21,869
They blasted away
right in front of my eyes.
748
00:52:21,940 --> 00:52:24,773
And they kidnapped a girl
named Pamela Glover...
749
00:52:24,842 --> 00:52:27,677
just like it was the goddamn
Red Brigade or something.
750
00:52:29,150 --> 00:52:32,109
No, I've got them.
This time I've got them.
751
00:52:32,187 --> 00:52:34,916
Ohio? Yes.
Ohio has been notified.
752
00:52:36,289 --> 00:52:38,725
Ohio has been notified.
753
00:52:38,795 --> 00:52:41,558
And Missouri.
And California.
754
00:52:41,630 --> 00:52:44,690
We'll get them, and I'm gonna
be there to handle it.
755
00:52:45,835 --> 00:52:47,769
You can count on it.
756
00:52:49,872 --> 00:52:51,932
I've got two minutes
to catch my flight.
757
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:52,941
Bye.
758
00:52:59,683 --> 00:53:01,549
- Madam. Madam.
- Madam?
759
00:53:01,618 --> 00:53:04,349
I'm no madam.
I'm a decent, respectable woman.
760
00:53:04,422 --> 00:53:06,617
I don't even own a house.
I live in an apartment.
761
00:53:06,692 --> 00:53:08,989
Now get off my case.
I'm late for my plane.
762
00:53:23,243 --> 00:53:26,611
- After my career in the RAF...
- The what?
763
00:53:26,681 --> 00:53:29,470
The Royal Air Force.
764
00:53:29,116 --> 00:53:32,745
- Do you mind if I have a cigarette?
- Please, go ahead. They're your lungs.
765
00:53:32,822 --> 00:53:36,180
Well, I had a chestful of citations...
medals, that sort of thing...
766
00:53:36,910 --> 00:53:37,890
and then I drifted in playing
a rather popular...
767
00:53:37,961 --> 00:53:40,256
Not that one, darling, please.
768
00:53:40,328 --> 00:53:43,926
We don't want you leaving so shortly
after the trip has begun, do we?
769
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,940
No, of course not.
770
00:53:46,168 --> 00:53:48,400
Then I drifted into playing...
771
00:53:48,472 --> 00:53:51,202
a rather popular character
on a television series.
772
00:53:51,276 --> 00:53:53,369
It's still in syndication, you know.
773
00:53:54,647 --> 00:53:57,207
Puff away.
774
00:53:57,282 --> 00:54:00,720
Thanks a lot, ladies.
But I would take it a little easier.
775
00:54:00,787 --> 00:54:04,315
Some of the officers up the road
might not be as understanding.
776
00:54:04,390 --> 00:54:08,851
Thank you so much, Officer.
We really do appreciate that warning.
777
00:54:08,928 --> 00:54:10,589
And if you're ever in Duluth...
778
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:12,760
remember to look me up.
779
00:54:13,967 --> 00:54:17,495
I got the number.
You can count on it.
780
00:54:28,885 --> 00:54:30,250
How's the patient?
781
00:54:34,691 --> 00:54:36,000
782
00:54:31,305 --> 00:54:37,874
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