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1
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,057
I love a good panel.
2
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,475
Krusty clearly hates
being there,
3
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:21,437
but he still gets super mad
when anyone but him talks.
4
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,523
Please welcome
the legendary stars
5
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,900
of the Krusty the Clown Show.
6
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,360
(cheering)
7
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,653
Hey-hey!
8
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,239
And a non-writing producer.
9
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,907
Ooh, non-writing.
10
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,659
Hey-hey, kids!
11
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,453
ALL:
Hey-hey, Krusty!
12
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:41,039
Have we got a great panel
planned for you today.
13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,000
What is it, Howard,
the usual crap?
14
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,629
Oh, yeah,
that'll kill some time.
15
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,092
(audience screams)
16
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,469
(grunting)
17
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,930
Kids, call the police!
This isn't a sketch!
18
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,015
(groans)
19
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,016
Ah.
20
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,350
My legs!
21
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,144
Stick to the script.
22
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,313
(straining):
Ladies and gentlemen,
23
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,065
Miami Sound Machine.
24
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,318
♪ Come on, shake... ♪
25
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,528
Where do you come up
with your ideas?
26
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,447
I'm a genius. Next.
27
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,784
- Are there any plans...
- BOTH: For another Krusty movie?
28
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,661
We're waiting for a story
that needs to be told.
29
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:23,081
Once we see that, we'll copy it
and call it a parody.
30
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,250
Oy. Does anyone have a question
31
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,629
that hasn't been asked
a thousand times?
32
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,591
I have the worst fans
in the world.
33
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,718
Now we've got a big surprise
34
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:37,471
for the best fans in the world!
35
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,765
We're making some big changes
36
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,893
to your favorite cartoon.
37
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,229
- (audience gasps)
- MAN: It's different.
38
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:49,107
It's an all-female reboot
of Itchy & Scratchy!
39
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:52,611
BOTH:
Oh, my God!
40
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,031
Pretty enlightened, eh, kids?
We here at the Krusty Show
41
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:58,075
really care
about gender diversity.
42
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,870
Ask anyone: our lawyers,
our attorneys, anyone.
43
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,413
A girl Itchy & Scratchy?
44
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:05,457
No, no, no, this can't be.
45
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,709
They've ruined my childhood.
46
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,962
Your childhood
is currently happening.
47
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,213
That's how I know.
48
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,840
It doesn't make any sense.
49
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,467
In real life,
Itchy and Scratchy are dudes.
50
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,178
Girl mice don't have
the upper body strength
51
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,388
to wield a chain saw.
52
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,557
Is truth dead?
53
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,642
BOYS:
Boo!
54
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,812
Ah, you boys are leaving me
for video games anyway.
55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,231
Zap, zap, zap,
you'll all die alone.
56
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,108
Girl power is where it's at.
57
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,360
That movie where Superman
was a chick
58
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:36,530
made a megillah of shekels.
Am I right, ladies?
59
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,323
(girls cheering)
60
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,450
See? Girls like my pandering.
61
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:43,161
Remember this if there's
ever a gender war.
62
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:45,163
Oh, this is the worst change
63
00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:47,374
Krusty's ever made to the show,
64
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:50,294
even worse than
Sideshow Leonard Cohen.
65
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,962
When girl Itchy & Scratchy
comes on,
66
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,505
we should totally hate-watch it.
67
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,966
No, everybody come over
to my house,
68
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,759
and we'll turn off
the TV the second
69
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,011
that girl cartoon comes on.
70
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,263
We'll hate-not-watch it.
71
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,682
Yeah! Hate-not-watch!
72
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,227
Yeah, that won't not show 'em.
73
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,063
I never really thought
about Itchy and Scratchy
74
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:14,026
as male or female, but it is
cool that they're girls now.
75
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,111
I always thought
they were a married couple,
76
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,030
and that's why
they fought so much.
77
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,449
Mom, they're different species.
78
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,453
I don't know what to be
liberal about anymore.
79
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,915
I am so pumped to hate-not-watch
Itchy & Scratchy.
80
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,459
I've not popped the popcorn,
the lights are not turned down.
81
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,085
Perfect.
82
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,796
Listen, son, I'm proud that
you're starting to hate things,
83
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,131
but take it slow.
84
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,467
If you use up all your hate
when you're young,
85
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:42,179
one day you'll be an old man
who likes things that suck.
86
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,097
ANNOUNCER (on TV):
Tonight, cabbage.
87
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,892
It is a lovely shade of gray,
88
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,103
and just look at the wrinklin.
89
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:54,024
All I'm saying is, if they ever
make a female Mr. Magoo,
90
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,777
I will lose it,
I will just lose it!
91
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,028
KRUSTY (on TV):
Hey-hey, kids!
92
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,238
It's time to tickle
your funny bones
93
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:04,159
and your Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission bones
94
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,162
by presenting
the all-new, all-female
95
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,164
Itchy & Scratchy!
96
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:11,792
Now to sit in silence
till it's over.
97
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,962
Blindfolds on, gentlemen.
98
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,256
This is Lisa Simpson,
99
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,176
recording my reaction
to this historic moment
100
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,804
in cartoon women's history.
101
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,306
SINGERS:
♪ They fight, they bite ♪
102
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,141
♪ They bite and fight and bite,
bite, bite, bite ♪
103
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:29,559
KRUSTY:
♪ Now they're girls ♪
104
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,019
SINGERS:
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy ♪
105
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,313
KRUSTY:
♪ Girls! ♪
106
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,985
May I?
107
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:48,120
♪ I got my ticket
for the long way 'round ♪
108
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,664
♪ Two bottle o' whiskey
for the way ♪
109
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,791
(in distance):
♪ And I sure would like ♪
110
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,334
♪ Some sweet company ♪
111
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,336
♪ And I'm leaving tomorrow ♪
112
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,463
♪ What do you say? ♪
113
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:02,259
-(laughing)
-♪ When I'm gone,
when I'm gone ♪
114
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,053
♪ You're gonna miss me
when I'm gone ♪
115
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,806
-(laughing)
-♪ You're gonna miss me by my
hair, you're gonna miss me... ♪
116
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,643
Ha-ha! I knew you couldn't
resist watching.
117
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,230
And guess what, you laughed!
It was funny.
118
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,065
I-I wasn't laughing.
119
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:20,695
I-I was crying a-and burping!
120
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,906
And... open.
121
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,324
We did it.
122
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:28,660
We prejudged something
without giving it a chance.
123
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,038
I am so proud of us.
124
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:34,708
Like Bart Simpson would ever
watch a girl Itchy & Scratchy.
125
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,252
Never gonna happen.
126
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,503
- (grunting)
- Yeah.
127
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,465
That little liar.
If only people could know
128
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,384
that Bart laughed
even harder than I did...
129
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,927
(gasps)
130
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,597
All right,
you soda-squirting hypocrite,
131
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,391
I know exactly what to do
with this video.
132
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,394
♪ ♪
133
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,983
TOSHUA JOSH (on TV):
Welcome to Josh.0,
134
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,819
the show for people who want
to look at the Internet
135
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,280
but don't have a computer
or a phone.
136
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,492
You know what bugs me
about old guys at the gym?
137
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,912
They always forget
to wipe down the machine.
138
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,706
(laughing):
He means the blood.
139
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,460
Now, this boy says he hates
all-girl Itchy & Scratchy,
140
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,378
but then this happened...
141
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,923
(laughing)
142
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,133
Bart, you got to see this!
143
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,552
Some old guy at a gym
got hit by a boat!
144
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:31,306
Also, now everyone knows you're
the world's biggest hypocrite.
145
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,308
(laughing)
146
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:37,062
(laughing):
You said you weren't gonna
watch it,
147
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,898
and then you did
and you loved it!
148
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:44,069
Then you got busted and I called
you in here and laughed at you!
149
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,155
And I'm still doing it!
150
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,032
Look at you.
151
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,034
What a jerk.
152
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,036
(Bart groans)
153
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,169
Well, Bart, how does it feel
to be trolled, memed, giffed,
154
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,463
and, dare I say, pwned?
155
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,090
How do you know those words?
156
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,551
I read about them
in Parade magazine.
157
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,387
Big deal, I was exposed
as a liar on the Internet.
158
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,890
I've got so much cred built up,
nothing can take me down.
159
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,017
You betrayed us, Bart.
160
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:19,020
And worse, you betrayed
your own wang.
161
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:22,065
You know what?
Yes, I laughed at a cartoon.
162
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,984
Why? Because it was funny.
163
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,861
So what if Itchy and Scratchy
are girls?
164
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,655
I laughed, and you can't
take back the laugh.
165
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:29,990
Girls aren't funny.
166
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,033
They're hot or moms.
167
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,034
Or both.
168
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,412
Girls stole Itchy and Scratchy.
169
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,665
What are they gonna take next,
our body spray?
170
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,792
Our puka shell necklaces?
171
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,544
- Yeah!
- Lame!
172
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:46,006
Girls get everything:
bigger, softer baseballs,
173
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,593
chick flicks,
two-piece bathing suits,
174
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,469
and on House Hunters
International,
175
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:54,181
they always choose
the house that she wants.
176
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,600
He's right.
The wife gets the beach view,
177
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,477
but it's always a longer commute
for the husband.
178
00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:01,229
- You know, you're right.
- Oh, yeah.
179
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,564
You guys see what's happening?
180
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,774
You're listening to Milhouse!
181
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:07,360
So? Maybe we are.
182
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,863
MILHOUSE:
They are listening to me.
183
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,658
The next thing I say
must be perfectly chosen
184
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,494
to show I am worthy
of leadership.
185
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:17,787
Get him!
186
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,915
(shouting)
187
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,917
(panting)
188
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,920
(groans)
189
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,923
(groans)
190
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,264
- (boys growling)
- (Bart gasps)
191
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,516
(hissing)
192
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:42,270
(gasps) Sixth graders. Tweens.
193
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:45,023
What are you doing
in the girl's room, Seat Soaker?
194
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,025
No, no, I didn't mean
to come in here.
195
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,610
I need sanctuary.
196
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:52,072
Hey, you guys have
a candy machine? No fair.
197
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,407
Spin him till he barfs.
198
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,909
Ah!
199
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,119
I'm full of hummus and milk!
200
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,164
(groaning)
201
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,292
Pink spray paint?
202
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,629
Give that back.
That's for Skinner's office.
203
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,257
You tell anyone about this,
you're canceled.
204
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,759
Charlie Rose canceled.
205
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,430
No, no, no, you can trust me.
I'm not just any fourth grader.
206
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,600
Whoa, this dude's El Barto.
207
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:24,229
Huh, I always thought it was
that fifth grader, Eloise Barto.
208
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,189
Yeah, sometimes
I get her e-mail.
209
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,733
You know, if you fill up
a leaf blower with paint,
210
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,610
you can coat
Skinner's whole office.
211
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:33,029
- Duh.
- Double duh.
212
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,573
Where are we gonna get
a leaf blower?
213
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,158
Willie's shack.
214
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,494
(sound of bagpipes playing)
215
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,415
Whoa, homemade prank masks.
216
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,167
The knit is on.
217
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:51,172
This'll teach Skinner
to ban sandals.
218
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,800
Oh, he will not
silence our toes.
219
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,343
Hurry, Skinner's almost back
220
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,262
from his lunchtime
dog-walking job.
221
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,431
(humming)
222
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,392
(door opens)
223
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,645
I will not negotiate
with terrorists.
224
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,566
I'll just give in.
Sandals unbanned.
225
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:14,154
Ladies, that was smooth,
Barbie smooth.
226
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,947
So smooth.
227
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,283
Hey, why are you still here,
truck-nuts?
228
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,285
Whoa, is this your hideout?
229
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,120
It's the old Home Ec classroom,
230
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,788
where they would brainwash girls
231
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,415
into being good
little housewives,
232
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,000
but now it's our war room.
233
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,419
Also, we cook here,
234
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,962
we do a little bit of sewing.
235
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,797
Stop telling him things!
236
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,133
Cooties be damned,
you girls are badass
237
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,676
and your pranks are next level.
238
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,762
Take a seat and learn something.
239
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,930
We don't do "pranks,"
240
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,099
we drop awareness bombs.
241
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,561
Our protest crew
is called Bossy Riot.
242
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,355
We're pushing back
against the pushback,
243
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,357
starting with this school.
244
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,318
Look at this his-tory book.
245
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,945
BART:
Cool shades.
246
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,784
That is textbook
textbook shredding.
247
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,660
Now do you see
what we're doing here?
248
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:04,788
I think I do.
249
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:09,000
You're sticking it to the man,
but this time, the man is men.
250
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,044
Look, you got to let me
join your gang.
251
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,713
You know, if we're really
serious about gender equality,
252
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,257
it's only right
that a boy be our servant.
253
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:20,845
Okay, No-varies, you're in,
if you pass this test...
254
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,681
Steal Skinner's cell phone.
255
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,558
Work or personal?
256
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,395
- CHALMERS: Skinner!
- AGNES: Seymour!
257
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,481
Welcome to girlhood.
258
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,070
Gentlemen, our way of life
259
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,364
- is under attack.
- Hear, hear!
260
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,659
Society is trying to erase boys.
261
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,829
They give us drugs that make us
do girly things,
262
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,664
like pay attention.
263
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,625
They're putting drugs
in our medication?
264
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,043
We need to band together.
265
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,671
Like a sorority, but for dudes.
266
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:58,550
I give you
the Boys Rights Association.
267
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,844
- BOYS: BRA!
- B-R-A.
268
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,971
-Right now,
we're just training BRAs.
-Mm-hmm.
269
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,390
But soon,
we'll be the strongest,
270
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,977
most supportive BRAs
anyone has ever seen.
271
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,939
(chanting):
We are BRAs! We are BRAs!
272
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:15,900
Our son has one, two...
(gasps)
273
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,944
...eight friends.
274
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,281
They're more than just friends,
he's-he's the leader.
275
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,866
(exhales)
276
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,993
I'm feeling this wave of relief,
277
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,245
not worrying about
my son's social life.
278
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:31,958
I can stop being a mother
and start being a... a woman.
279
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,919
(exhales)
Say it. Say it again.
280
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,923
Our son has friends.
281
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,761
♪ Old folks say
"You poor little fool" ♪
282
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:47,557
♪ Down the streets,
I'm the girl next door ♪
283
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,560
♪ I'm the fox
you've been waiting for ♪
284
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,730
♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪
285
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:57,484
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
286
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,778
♪ Hello, world,
I'm your wild girl ♪
287
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:04,782
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
288
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,994
♪ Stone Age love
and strange sounds, too... ♪
289
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:11,164
This is why I sit.
290
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,792
♪ Bad nights causing
teenage blues ♪
291
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:18,796
♪ Get down, ladies,
you've got nothing to lose ♪
292
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,674
♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪
293
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:26,387
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb... ♪
294
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,555
BROCKMAN:
Springfield,
295
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,140
a town living in fear,
296
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:32,227
as masked pranksters
calling themselves "Bossy Riot,"
297
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,646
spread their terrifying message
of female empowerment.
298
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,982
The latest victim of this "gal
Qaeda," our once-proud symbol
299
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,818
of the portly
pastry-purveying patriarchy.
300
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,820
HOMER:
"Lard Lady"?
301
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:46,324
But a donut is the ultimate
symbol of masculinity.
302
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:49,202
The only lead police have
as to the identity of Bossy Riot
303
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,538
is this security camera footage.
304
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,456
(Homer laughs)
305
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:55,459
HOMER:
Moe and his bats.
306
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,128
Bossy Riot is so cool.
307
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,089
We need fearless
female activists
308
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:04,551
to fight back against misogyny
and man-spreading.
309
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:08,263
Well, whoever they are,
they are the coolest badasses
310
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,766
this town has ever seen,
whoever they are.
311
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,227
Ooh, Bart winked at me.
312
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,854
I must be in on a joke.
(chuckles)
313
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,357
- (Bart humming)
- Hmm...
314
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:24,612
- (screams)
- Bart, are you in Bossy Riot?
315
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,698
- No way.
- Ah, good.
316
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,992
Because if you were fighting
for women's rights,
317
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:32,787
it would destroy my entire
vision of the universe.
318
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,832
- Actually, I totally am.
- (shouts)
319
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,296
You can't be an activist
for women's rights.
320
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,089
You don't know anything
about the feminist cause.
321
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,174
Sure I do.
Chicks get a raw deal.
322
00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:47,677
I'm a little fuzzy on the deets,
but take my word for it.
323
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:51,014
(groans) It's all about
the deets. You're not a girl.
324
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:54,058
-You just want to spray-paint
the world and watch it drip.
-Mm-hmm.
325
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:57,145
You've never been called shrill
just because you speak up.
326
00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:01,065
And-and girls' clothing
has no pockets,
327
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,735
while yours are lousy
with pockets!
328
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,238
This is good stuff,
I got to write it down.
329
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,576
(Bart humming)
330
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,786
This is someone else's war,
331
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:17,165
and you,
y-you're just a mercenary.
332
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,459
Mercenaries are cool,
like Boba Fett.
333
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:23,171
Oh, yeah, Boba Fett,
great character.
334
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,591
Boba Fett's badass.
He wears a jetpack and a cape.
335
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,092
Pick a lane, weirdo.
336
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,219
Why does every discussion
about feminism
337
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,930
turn into an argument
about Star Wars?
338
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:34,974
If Boba Fett's such
a great bounty hunter,
339
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,477
why is his armor all banged up?
340
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,938
(sighs) It's a look,
like distressed denim.
341
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,940
You shouldn't be
part of a protest
342
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:45,193
if you don't care
about the cause.
343
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,945
Well, you care.
Why don't you come with?
344
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,614
Maybe I will.
345
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,991
Great. Bring black gloves
and no ID.
346
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,493
You've been Tasered
before, right?
347
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,119
It only hurts
until you pass out.
348
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,580
I'm excited;
I want to, I do, but...
349
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,582
there's a part of me
that's scared,
350
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:03,127
and that part is my body
and my head.
351
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,420
It's okay, I get it.
352
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,130
There's nothing wrong
with being all talk.
353
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,508
Us feminists need
cheerleaders, too.
354
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,551
(groans)
355
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:14,222
So, what's up, my fellow
Ruthless Bader Ginsburgs?
356
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,391
What's on the a-gender
for the evening?
357
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,894
Your friends in the so-called
"Boys Rights Association"
358
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,188
have been protesting
The Krusty Show.
359
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,899
I told you
not to light the toys yet.
360
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,361
I didn't,
they just burst into flames.
361
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:31,072
Krusty caved.
He said he'd never show
362
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,158
another all-girl
Itchy & Scratchy ever again.
363
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,161
So we're gonna destroy
the master tapes
364
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,872
of every Itchy & Scratchy.
365
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,165
Wait, what? No.
366
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,792
I love those cartoons.
367
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,460
I can't let you do it.
368
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,964
Oh, you can't "let" us?
369
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,218
Don't have a lady cow.
370
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:56,014
All cows are ladies.
371
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,730
That thing you said about me
being all talk?
372
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:07,191
Well, I have prepared
two comebacks,
373
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,485
and I will now give you both.
374
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:13,072
Those girls are gonna destroy
every Itchy & Scratchy, forever!
375
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:16,075
(grunting)
376
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:18,077
Hey, hey, boys and boys!
377
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,912
Well, congratulations,
378
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:23,124
I'm never gonna air the girl
Itchy & Scratchy again.
379
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:27,754
You hit me where it hurts
the most: right in the sponsors.
380
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,048
Buy 'em all.
381
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,263
(gasps)
We're too late.
382
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:42,226
They're going to destroy
the tapes on live TV.
383
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,228
Let's get him
out of those bras and go.
384
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:48,357
Uh, no, you can leave me
like this. I'm good.
385
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,067
We are Bossy Riot,
386
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:53,446
and we're gonna drop all
the original Itchy & Scratchys
387
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,491
into a pool
of nail polish remover.
388
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,701
(all gasping)
389
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:04,123
That's crazy. We have those
backed up a thousand times.
390
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,125
Right, Howard?
391
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:09,128
What do you do?!
392
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:11,130
Don't do it.
Those shows are funny.
393
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,007
Mice killing cats,
guts everywhere.
394
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:16,052
It doesn't matter
if it's boy guts or girl guts.
395
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,428
Guts are guts.
396
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,639
See, the thing
about comedy is...
397
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,225
Bart, stop mansplaining!
398
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,851
No, no, no, no,
if I keep talking,
399
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:25,604
they'll get it eventually.
400
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,486
(grunts)
401
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:39,325
The fumes are burning my eyes.
402
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:43,162
(all crying)
403
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:47,124
Look, they're crying,
on live TV.
404
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:50,127
Glitterize their tears.
405
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:52,130
Mama!
406
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,690
Don't worry, sir,
your brothers are united
407
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,900
in blaming this on you.
408
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,861
(shouting in agreement)
409
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,864
(groans)
410
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,868
Hey, hey! Come back here!
411
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,579
You there, sweet innocent girls,
412
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,082
did you see three crazed
man-haters run through here?
413
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,960
Gee, Officer,
they went that way.
414
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,087
Thanks, princess. Thank you.
415
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,298
Wait a second.
416
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,718
Do any of you babysit?
417
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,595
Great. Be at my house
Saturday at 7:00.
418
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,097
And if Ralph asks you
to give him a bath,
419
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,391
do not give him a bath.
420
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:48,060
So I guess I'm not
in the group anymore.
421
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,229
You were never in the group.
422
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,065
We just kept you around
for fingerprints and DNA.
423
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,319
But making those boys cry
was hardcore.
424
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,739
You, uh, ever think
about wearing the yarn?
425
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,699
Me? Join you?
426
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,285
Can I do it?
Can I push my beliefs further
427
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,662
than they've ever gone?
428
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,665
- Well, let us know.
- (clicks tongue)
429
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,920
Mask me.
430
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,675
("Extreme Ways" by Moby playing)
431
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,672
So spill it, Simpson.
You were on the inside.
432
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,465
What's the deal with girls?
433
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:02,093
Well, check this out:
they also burp.
434
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,095
No way. From where?
435
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,930
Is that even allowed?
436
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,306
Let's see, what else?
437
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,433
They're always telling
each other they're pretty,
438
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,978
their bathroom candy
tastes really weird,
439
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,689
but there's one thing
that really crushed me.
440
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,899
I almost don't want
to say it out loud.
441
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,567
They don't envy us.
442
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,902
- ♪ ♪
- Oh...
443
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,487
(gasps)
444
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:22,488
(sighs)
445
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,033
(Milhouse sobs quietly)
446
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,083
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
447
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,502
Shh!
32719
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