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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,019 --> 00:00:20,019 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:24,893 --> 00:00:27,196 Hi, welcome to Scoppa. 3 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,169 I'm the manager, Andy. 4 00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:35,071 Please. 5 00:00:37,073 --> 00:00:38,171 Please. 6 00:00:38,173 --> 00:00:40,643 Andy, where the fuck is Richard? 7 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,281 That's Cassie, she's our most popular server. 8 00:00:47,616 --> 00:00:50,717 This is our fastest busboy, 9 00:00:50,719 --> 00:00:52,019 Jeremy. 10 00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:54,256 He can turn a table in 10 seconds flat. 11 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,290 Moving right along. 12 00:00:57,292 --> 00:00:59,293 This is our full bar. 13 00:00:59,295 --> 00:01:01,728 People come from all over the Five Boroughs 14 00:01:01,730 --> 00:01:04,900 to sample the work of our master mixologist. 15 00:01:11,974 --> 00:01:15,175 And this is where the magic happens. 16 00:01:19,415 --> 00:01:22,416 Where the fuck is my Cardi?! 17 00:01:22,418 --> 00:01:24,721 Who wants to see the sausage being made? 18 00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,189 In three years time, 19 00:01:29,191 --> 00:01:32,091 we will be the top Italian restaurant in New York. 20 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,794 Now I know what you're thinking. 21 00:01:33,796 --> 00:01:36,663 There's already a gazillion Italian places here. 22 00:01:36,665 --> 00:01:39,933 But with a lot of heart, a creative menu 23 00:01:39,935 --> 00:01:43,707 and the best goddamn service in the Five Boroughs, 24 00:01:44,774 --> 00:01:46,106 we can do this. 25 00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:53,249 All we need is a little luck 26 00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:56,150 and I'm working on that. 27 00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:12,168 Well, 28 00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:14,269 this is awkward. 29 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,009 It's over. 30 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:23,042 This can't be unseen. 31 00:02:23,044 --> 00:02:24,745 Please, please. 32 00:02:24,747 --> 00:02:27,314 I have money, I have a family. 33 00:02:27,316 --> 00:02:28,816 No you don't. 34 00:02:28,818 --> 00:02:30,020 This is New York. 35 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,720 Nothing personal. 36 00:03:11,794 --> 00:03:12,429 Hey, Jer. 37 00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:15,698 Look. 38 00:03:17,866 --> 00:03:19,066 Oh man. 39 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,934 You can bounce a pickle off that ass. 40 00:03:20,936 --> 00:03:24,007 If I were an ass, I'd wanna be that one. 41 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,142 Gentlemen. 42 00:03:28,144 --> 00:03:30,410 I need you to act like you're doing something. 43 00:03:30,412 --> 00:03:32,411 I am doing something, Andy. 44 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,846 It's important. 45 00:03:33,848 --> 00:03:34,481 Jeremy, 46 00:03:34,483 --> 00:03:36,115 you have a new trainee. 47 00:03:36,117 --> 00:03:37,753 Karen, get over here, girl. 48 00:03:39,921 --> 00:03:42,288 Karen, this is Jeremy. 49 00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:53,566 Hi. 50 00:03:53,568 --> 00:03:54,369 Hello. 51 00:03:56,938 --> 00:03:58,538 That manager's kind of adorable. 52 00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:01,343 Oh, well don't worry, that won't last. 53 00:04:02,377 --> 00:04:04,411 Give it a once over with the rag 54 00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:06,078 and then you put the plate settings down. 55 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,246 Knives on the right, 56 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,282 forks on the left. 57 00:04:09,284 --> 00:04:12,286 I try to roll a bunch of them beforehand in the morning 58 00:04:12,288 --> 00:04:13,586 if I know it's gonna be busy, 59 00:04:13,588 --> 00:04:15,255 that was I can just thrown them down quickly. 60 00:04:15,257 --> 00:04:16,423 You got it down to a science. 61 00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:18,858 I like to think I got a system... 62 00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:20,459 A system for everything? 63 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,094 I can tell. 64 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:22,899 Yeah? 65 00:04:25,434 --> 00:04:26,834 This guy. 66 00:04:26,836 --> 00:04:27,470 What? 67 00:04:28,571 --> 00:04:29,405 Is awesome. 68 00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:38,512 Two fingers! 69 00:04:38,514 --> 00:04:40,380 Two fingers! 70 00:04:40,382 --> 00:04:42,149 He means the water level should be two fingers 71 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,485 from the top of the glass. 72 00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:45,420 That's good. 73 00:04:51,293 --> 00:04:52,425 Hey, guys. 74 00:04:52,427 --> 00:04:54,861 Party at Cassie's tonight after close. 75 00:04:54,863 --> 00:04:55,497 Got it. 76 00:04:56,598 --> 00:04:57,399 You too. 77 00:04:59,235 --> 00:05:00,901 You know you have to come, right? 78 00:05:00,903 --> 00:05:01,538 Sure. 79 00:05:06,341 --> 00:05:07,176 Oh no. 80 00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:11,281 Thanks. 81 00:05:14,216 --> 00:05:15,185 First date alert. 82 00:05:16,252 --> 00:05:17,885 What does that mean? 83 00:05:17,887 --> 00:05:19,286 Well, best case scenario, they'll leave in 40 minutes. 84 00:05:19,288 --> 00:05:20,389 We can help with that. 85 00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:24,658 Welcome to Scoppa, your server's name is Arthur, 86 00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:26,896 he's gonna be right with you guys. 87 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,433 Oh. 88 00:05:42,444 --> 00:05:43,911 Jeremy, 89 00:05:43,913 --> 00:05:45,882 do you mind staying tonight with Arthur? 90 00:05:47,016 --> 00:05:48,147 Sure. 91 00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:48,981 Thanks. 92 00:05:48,983 --> 00:05:50,050 Karen, you're cut. 93 00:05:50,052 --> 00:05:51,187 See you tomorrow, okay? 94 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,522 You still coming out later? 95 00:05:55,524 --> 00:05:56,925 Just get out of here. 96 00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,959 Hi, how we doing today? 97 00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:01,527 My name is Arthur, I'll be your server. 98 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,329 Is this your first time at Scoppa? 99 00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:05,298 We actually have some fantastic specials. 100 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,500 We have a grilled Spanish octopus 101 00:06:07,502 --> 00:06:08,601 served with a squid ink puree. 102 00:06:08,603 --> 00:06:10,236 I'm sorry, 103 00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:12,471 we're just gonna have coffee and dessert, I think. 104 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,572 Right. 105 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,409 Excellent, I'll get some menus. 106 00:06:21,516 --> 00:06:23,319 Would you bang her? 107 00:06:24,519 --> 00:06:26,053 Yeah, I guess. 108 00:06:26,055 --> 00:06:27,454 You have such high standards. 109 00:06:27,456 --> 00:06:29,255 What does that have to do with anything? 110 00:06:29,257 --> 00:06:30,392 Would you bang Karen? 111 00:06:32,026 --> 00:06:33,593 Well, if I wasn't here with you, testicle breath, 112 00:06:33,595 --> 00:06:37,096 I'd be at the party trying to find that out right now. 113 00:06:42,071 --> 00:06:44,471 Can we get two more cups of coffee? 114 00:06:44,473 --> 00:06:45,107 Thank you. 115 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,375 That's coffee number three. 116 00:06:49,377 --> 00:06:50,612 Arthur, I'll get it. 117 00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:13,602 Thanks. 118 00:07:15,036 --> 00:07:16,469 And that's why I don't read fiction. 119 00:07:16,471 --> 00:07:17,606 That's interesting. 120 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:47,235 Will you excuse me? 121 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,449 Do you hear that? 122 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,515 Hmmm? 123 00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:03,485 What did you put in his coffee? 124 00:08:05,187 --> 00:08:06,355 He asked for creamer. 125 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,695 Ma'am, I'm afraid your friend isn't feeling well. 126 00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:16,630 Is he all right? 127 00:08:16,632 --> 00:08:18,231 He'll be fine. 128 00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:20,567 He told me he had a questionable tuna sandwich for lunch. 129 00:08:20,569 --> 00:08:22,572 I promise it was nothing you ate here. 130 00:08:23,572 --> 00:08:25,238 Oh, well. 131 00:08:26,641 --> 00:08:28,543 Tell him I said thanks. 132 00:08:59,374 --> 00:09:00,373 Help! 133 00:09:10,251 --> 00:09:12,185 It's okay. 134 00:09:12,187 --> 00:09:13,752 I'm not gonna hurt you. 135 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,589 Just go stand over there, it's cool. 136 00:09:16,591 --> 00:09:18,724 I'm not gonna stand over there. 137 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,292 Hey! 138 00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:23,662 I can't help you if you don't do what I say, okay? 139 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,665 You are in great danger. 140 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:28,704 And the only way out is through that door, back there. 141 00:09:29,671 --> 00:09:30,903 What fucking door? 142 00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:33,140 It's behind you, right back there, there's a door. 143 00:09:33,142 --> 00:09:34,406 I swear. 144 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,376 You promise not to stab me if I go? 145 00:09:36,378 --> 00:09:37,580 I promise. 146 00:09:39,715 --> 00:09:42,482 You are fucking nuts, man! 147 00:09:42,484 --> 00:09:43,849 Nuts! 148 00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,788 You just wait until I see my fucking Yelp review! 149 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,665 Jeremy! 150 00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,166 Jeremy, wait! 151 00:10:00,168 --> 00:10:00,800 Jeremy! 152 00:10:00,802 --> 00:10:02,435 Wait! 153 00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:03,737 Listen! 154 00:10:03,739 --> 00:10:04,771 Just listen! 155 00:10:04,773 --> 00:10:05,638 Shit! 156 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,142 What the fuck was that?! 157 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:09,608 Look, 158 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,412 let's unpack this. 159 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,616 I sacrificed that man to an entity. 160 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,617 An entity? 161 00:10:17,619 --> 00:10:19,286 - May I finish? - Okay. 162 00:10:19,288 --> 00:10:20,619 Jeremy, may I finish my thought 163 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,823 without you interrupting me? 164 00:10:23,225 --> 00:10:24,657 Thank you. 165 00:10:24,659 --> 00:10:27,493 Okay, where was I? 166 00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:29,695 I made a deal. 167 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:30,796 Uh huh. 168 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,331 That thing in the basement, Exses, 169 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,200 he's like an old god 170 00:10:34,202 --> 00:10:37,673 or demon, vampire, whatever, listen anyway, 171 00:10:38,774 --> 00:10:40,574 900 years ago 172 00:10:40,576 --> 00:10:43,443 he was defeated and banished from our world. 173 00:10:43,445 --> 00:10:44,247 So, 174 00:10:44,947 --> 00:10:45,748 I made a deal. 175 00:10:46,815 --> 00:10:48,281 If you make Scoppa 176 00:10:48,283 --> 00:10:50,382 the number one Italian restaurant in New York, 177 00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:55,454 I would feed him and restore him back to life. 178 00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:56,289 What the fuck?! 179 00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:58,458 You can't go around killing people. 180 00:10:58,460 --> 00:10:59,693 Why not? 181 00:10:59,695 --> 00:11:02,528 Our customers have lives. 182 00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:04,664 They've got jobs and kids, 183 00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:05,799 - pets and shit. - What?! 184 00:11:05,801 --> 00:11:07,836 We have lives! 185 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:13,275 That guy walked in here one minute before close 186 00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:17,743 and then he ordered three coffees. 187 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:18,680 Three coffees! 188 00:11:19,815 --> 00:11:23,682 30 minutes ago and you would've wanted to kill him too! 189 00:11:25,653 --> 00:11:26,855 Do you know how many times, 190 00:11:27,956 --> 00:11:30,824 how many times someone has come looking 191 00:11:30,826 --> 00:11:32,495 for someone that I've sacrificed? 192 00:11:33,729 --> 00:11:34,830 Not once. 193 00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:42,736 I have killed a lot of people. 194 00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:43,739 How many? 195 00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:47,906 - 90? - Oh my God! 196 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:48,711 Listen! 197 00:11:49,945 --> 00:11:52,215 You're not seeing the big picture here, Jer. 198 00:11:53,849 --> 00:11:55,882 He draws people to Scoppa 199 00:11:55,884 --> 00:11:58,354 and then I feed him the shitty ones. 200 00:11:59,654 --> 00:12:00,889 The more people we kill 201 00:12:01,756 --> 00:12:03,589 the stronger he gets. 202 00:12:03,591 --> 00:12:06,728 The stronger that he gets, the more guests we have. 203 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:11,730 The more guests we have, the more money we make. 204 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,432 Jeremy, 205 00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:16,770 the more people, the more shitty people, that we kill, 206 00:12:16,772 --> 00:12:17,974 the more money we make! 207 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,407 And what about when he's done feeding 208 00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:22,812 and he doesn't need you anymore? 209 00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,413 I don't know. 210 00:12:26,081 --> 00:12:27,914 Maybe he'll run for Senate. 211 00:12:27,916 --> 00:12:29,752 I don't give a shit! 212 00:12:30,885 --> 00:12:33,920 This is for Scoppa, Jeremy. 213 00:12:33,922 --> 00:12:34,921 Yeah. 214 00:12:34,923 --> 00:12:36,555 Yeah, okay, well guess what. 215 00:12:36,557 --> 00:12:37,891 Fuck this shit, I quit. 216 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,862 You can't quit. 217 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:42,865 Since when? 218 00:12:43,899 --> 00:12:44,933 You, 219 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,002 you know about Exses. 220 00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:49,971 And knowing Exses, 221 00:12:51,773 --> 00:12:53,843 pretty sure that he knows you know. 222 00:12:57,479 --> 00:12:58,948 I can't protect you 223 00:13:00,682 --> 00:13:02,949 unless you work for me. 224 00:13:02,951 --> 00:13:04,917 No, you said some shit like that to the guy 225 00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:07,052 you just turned into a fucking human water balloon. 226 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:11,459 Exses promised me that he will not harm the wait staff. 227 00:13:13,128 --> 00:13:15,965 Work with me, you're safe. 228 00:13:17,932 --> 00:13:18,768 You quit, 229 00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:25,137 I don't know what's gonna happen to you. 230 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:30,879 Goodnight, buddy. 231 00:13:33,782 --> 00:13:35,084 See you on the floor tomorrow. 232 00:13:42,624 --> 00:13:44,456 So I bring this guy his lemon and he says, 233 00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:45,959 "Did you touch that with your hands?" 234 00:13:45,961 --> 00:13:48,927 And I'm like, "No, I picked it up with my labia." 235 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:49,661 Moron. 236 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,397 So I had these Europeans today. 237 00:13:51,399 --> 00:13:54,467 300 dollar tab and they leave me a Sacagawea dollar. 238 00:13:54,469 --> 00:13:56,035 So what did you do? 239 00:13:56,037 --> 00:13:57,737 I took my boxers... 240 00:13:57,739 --> 00:13:59,071 Dude, we need to talk. 241 00:13:59,073 --> 00:13:59,908 No. 242 00:14:01,409 --> 00:14:03,008 You need to hit this. 243 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,643 No, dude, 244 00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,115 seriously, there's stuff that needs to be discussed now. 245 00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,181 Bye. 246 00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:10,452 Is Karen here? 247 00:14:11,753 --> 00:14:13,085 Hey. 248 00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:14,686 You work in the kitchen. 249 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,122 I do. 250 00:14:16,124 --> 00:14:17,156 You're American? 251 00:14:17,158 --> 00:14:18,858 Yeah, no shit. 252 00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:20,859 Andy doesn't need to know that. 253 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,796 Look, I was desperate, 254 00:14:22,798 --> 00:14:24,531 so I apply for jobs all over the city 255 00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:25,864 but nobody would higher me. 256 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:30,502 Says here that you were a busboy in college. 257 00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:32,107 Yeah, for four years. 258 00:14:33,642 --> 00:14:34,576 Four years ago. 259 00:14:35,677 --> 00:14:36,675 No. 260 00:14:36,677 --> 00:14:38,844 I did it for four years. 261 00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:41,815 Well, yeah, but that was four years ago. 262 00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:44,787 A lot has changed in the restaurant industry in four years. 263 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,920 Like what? 264 00:14:46,922 --> 00:14:47,923 What happened with your last job? 265 00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:51,961 Well, the company doesn't exist anymore. 266 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:53,995 And that was 267 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,065 six months ago. 268 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,036 A friend of mine got a job for me over in the kitchen. 269 00:15:03,038 --> 00:15:06,738 If you see me on the floor, I don't speak English. 270 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,706 Okay. 271 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,475 If they knew I was American, 272 00:15:09,477 --> 00:15:11,045 I would be out on the streets. 273 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,046 Wow, that sucks. 274 00:15:14,048 --> 00:15:15,083 Yeah. 275 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,483 Hello? 276 00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:18,785 Hello! 277 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:20,652 Thank you for calling Scoppa Italian Restaurant, 278 00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:21,890 this is Corey speaking. 279 00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,126 Hold on one moment, please. 280 00:15:26,861 --> 00:15:27,862 It's for you. 281 00:15:31,066 --> 00:15:32,831 So I go outside 282 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:34,132 and the guy's there. 283 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,634 The guy who came in right before close, right? 284 00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:40,141 But he's all messed up. 285 00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:46,012 Christ. 286 00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:48,113 So he's all messed up. 287 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,883 And Andy's there and... 288 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,253 this thing... 289 00:15:54,255 --> 00:15:55,954 eats the guy. 290 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:59,761 Like Andy fed the guy to the thing. 291 00:16:00,995 --> 00:16:02,228 Hey, stranger. 292 00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:04,030 Oh, shit, when did you get here? 293 00:16:04,032 --> 00:16:05,031 Just a minute ago. 294 00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:06,699 How much did you hear? 295 00:16:06,701 --> 00:16:09,068 Don't stop now, dude, or you'll never finish the story. 296 00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,105 Okay. 297 00:16:11,139 --> 00:16:13,039 There's a demon 298 00:16:13,041 --> 00:16:13,975 in the basement 299 00:16:15,076 --> 00:16:16,608 named Exses. 300 00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:19,778 I think I dated a girl who had that once. 301 00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:21,147 I wore protection, of course. 302 00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:25,187 Andy is sacrificing guests to Exses. 303 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,791 You don't believe me. 304 00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:32,995 I wasn't listening. 305 00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:36,764 I'm fucked. 306 00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:39,869 That's it, I'm fucked. 307 00:16:57,985 --> 00:16:59,786 Oh my God, I'm paranoid. 308 00:16:59,788 --> 00:17:01,821 Dude, you need some air. 309 00:17:01,823 --> 00:17:03,690 Karen, let's take him outside. 310 00:17:03,692 --> 00:17:05,123 Uh uh. 311 00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:12,034 I feel stuck, you know? 312 00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:14,801 Like, 313 00:17:14,803 --> 00:17:18,705 this job was supposed to be a temporary gig. 314 00:17:18,707 --> 00:17:21,607 My apartment was supposed to be just for starting out 315 00:17:21,609 --> 00:17:22,909 until I grew into something better 316 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:24,142 but I'm still there 317 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,145 and now I'm suck at this horrible job 318 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,280 with a manager from hell. 319 00:17:28,282 --> 00:17:29,849 Stuck? 320 00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,116 Jeremy, you're not the only one 321 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,785 with a bachelor's degree, you know? 322 00:17:32,787 --> 00:17:34,120 Let me guess, English major, right? 323 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,189 I'm serious. 324 00:17:36,191 --> 00:17:38,991 This isn't my dream but it's honest work. 325 00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,293 My brother was unemployed for two years 326 00:17:40,295 --> 00:17:41,393 and I saw what it did to him 327 00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:44,363 and I'm just happy to be here. 328 00:17:44,365 --> 00:17:46,769 If you hate it so much, why don't you leave? 329 00:17:48,202 --> 00:17:49,369 I can't quit, they'll kill me. 330 00:17:49,371 --> 00:17:52,771 What are you talking about? 331 00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:54,140 You know, 332 00:17:54,142 --> 00:17:54,977 Exses. 333 00:17:56,144 --> 00:17:57,313 You weren't just making that up? 334 00:17:58,313 --> 00:17:59,148 No. 335 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,748 Okay, you know what, I'd show you 336 00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:02,949 but I don't want you to get involved. 337 00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,150 You should just leave while you can. 338 00:18:04,152 --> 00:18:05,183 It's not even safe for you there. 339 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,251 - Jeremy. - Yeah, I know, I know. 340 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,221 I sound crazy. 341 00:18:11,226 --> 00:18:12,261 Sorry. 342 00:18:26,907 --> 00:18:28,076 Whoa, Top Gun. 343 00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:30,813 You're flying a little too high. 344 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,182 Do you wanna go back inside? 345 00:18:34,949 --> 00:18:35,784 Nope. 346 00:18:38,252 --> 00:18:39,754 I'm gonna call it a night. 347 00:18:40,855 --> 00:18:42,191 See you tomorrow, Jeremy. 348 00:18:56,805 --> 00:18:57,406 Hi. 349 00:20:14,782 --> 00:20:15,515 Hey, Andy. 350 00:20:15,517 --> 00:20:17,283 Hey, Jeremy. 351 00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:18,320 I hope you're well. 352 00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:20,956 What's up? 353 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:24,323 I need your help with something. 354 00:20:28,195 --> 00:20:29,997 This is so helpful, Jeremy. 355 00:20:30,999 --> 00:20:32,364 I value you, man. 356 00:20:32,366 --> 00:20:35,234 I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. 357 00:20:35,236 --> 00:20:37,870 Do you need me here for this? 358 00:20:37,872 --> 00:20:38,938 Hey, 359 00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:40,238 no obligation, buddy. 360 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,240 I'm just trying to spend quality time with, 361 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,976 and I mean this, Jeremy, 362 00:20:43,978 --> 00:20:46,148 one of the most valuable members of my team. 363 00:20:47,281 --> 00:20:48,847 If you don't wanna hang out, 364 00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:50,048 I can drop you off. 365 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:50,882 Do you have somewhere you need to go? 366 00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:51,753 No, no, no, I'm fine. 367 00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:53,855 All right. 368 00:20:56,023 --> 00:20:57,925 Do you wanna stop and get some coffee or something? 369 00:20:59,093 --> 00:20:59,995 - No. - No. 370 00:21:03,498 --> 00:21:06,032 We might switch to black napkins. 371 00:21:06,034 --> 00:21:07,169 What do you think? 372 00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:08,971 What's that? 373 00:21:17,578 --> 00:21:20,246 What do you think? 374 00:21:20,248 --> 00:21:22,113 Oh, yeah. 375 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,415 They're fine, they're both fine. 376 00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:25,218 Put yourself in my shoe, Jer. 377 00:21:25,220 --> 00:21:26,151 Okay. 378 00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:27,319 We work in a ruthless industry 379 00:21:27,321 --> 00:21:30,122 where people are constantly judging us 380 00:21:30,124 --> 00:21:32,123 on the smallest detail. 381 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,259 White is 382 00:21:34,261 --> 00:21:35,230 friendly, 383 00:21:36,163 --> 00:21:37,563 bright. 384 00:21:37,565 --> 00:21:38,400 Black is 385 00:21:39,467 --> 00:21:40,302 classy. 386 00:21:41,469 --> 00:21:42,269 Different. 387 00:21:43,938 --> 00:21:45,974 What kind of a business do we wanna be? 388 00:21:48,276 --> 00:21:50,345 One that doesn't murder our customers? 389 00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,347 They're guests, Jer, 390 00:21:54,582 --> 00:21:55,984 not customers. 391 00:22:01,489 --> 00:22:03,288 You know what? 392 00:22:03,290 --> 00:22:06,360 I think I'm gonna go with the white napkins. 393 00:22:08,429 --> 00:22:09,895 I'm very happy for you. 394 00:22:09,897 --> 00:22:11,430 Have you told anybody about the basement? 395 00:22:11,432 --> 00:22:12,398 No. 396 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:13,599 I don't care. 397 00:22:13,601 --> 00:22:16,401 You can tell the staff, Richard knows. 398 00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:17,573 They're in on it? 399 00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:20,843 I said Richard knows. 400 00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:24,043 Jesus, Jeremy, 401 00:22:24,045 --> 00:22:26,112 you make this sound like it's some kind of a conspiracy. 402 00:22:26,114 --> 00:22:27,316 Well, you know, 403 00:22:28,316 --> 00:22:29,985 Andy, it is a conspiracy. 404 00:22:34,489 --> 00:22:36,521 Is that weed I smell? 405 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:37,358 Um. 406 00:22:38,292 --> 00:22:39,525 I don't know. 407 00:22:39,527 --> 00:22:40,526 What does weed smell like? 408 00:22:40,528 --> 00:22:42,128 I've never smelled it before. 409 00:22:42,130 --> 00:22:44,930 Hey, look, you can smoke, I don't judge, okay? 410 00:22:44,932 --> 00:22:47,102 We've all got skeletons in our closet. 411 00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:05,450 Hey. 412 00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:06,485 Food inspector's here. 413 00:23:06,487 --> 00:23:08,086 Where? 414 00:23:08,088 --> 00:23:09,188 Dude eating alone, he's come to my old restaurant. 415 00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:10,025 Okay? 416 00:23:12,059 --> 00:23:13,628 I'm getting this place shut down. 417 00:23:17,065 --> 00:23:18,296 Dude, I need your help. 418 00:23:18,298 --> 00:23:19,532 No, seriously! 419 00:23:19,534 --> 00:23:21,100 Table 23, table 23, need a cockroach right now. 420 00:23:21,102 --> 00:23:23,201 There's no cockroaches here. 421 00:23:23,203 --> 00:23:24,536 It's New York City, there's cockroaches everywhere. 422 00:23:24,538 --> 00:23:25,738 Not here. 423 00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:27,672 This is the cleanest place I've ever been in. 424 00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:30,209 Okay, go outside in the alleyway and get me a cockroach. 425 00:23:30,211 --> 00:23:31,043 Please. 426 00:23:31,045 --> 00:23:32,044 I'll owe you huge. 427 00:23:32,046 --> 00:23:33,245 Hey! 428 00:23:33,247 --> 00:23:34,980 What's this chode doing in my kitchen?! 429 00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:37,251 Please. 430 00:23:38,452 --> 00:23:39,288 Yah! 431 00:23:40,421 --> 00:23:41,988 Jeremy, where were you? 432 00:23:41,990 --> 00:23:43,722 We had three tables get up that needed to be bused. 433 00:23:43,724 --> 00:23:45,226 Hustle, hustle. 434 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:47,459 What was that? 435 00:23:47,461 --> 00:23:48,529 You'll see. 436 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:22,260 Excuse me, are you the owner? 437 00:24:22,262 --> 00:24:23,094 Yes. 438 00:24:23,096 --> 00:24:24,596 Hi, I'm Andy. 439 00:24:24,598 --> 00:24:26,198 Pleased to meet you. 440 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,333 How's the cannoli? 441 00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:29,567 You tell me. 442 00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:30,803 That's impossible. 443 00:24:30,805 --> 00:24:32,705 We never have bugs at Scoppa. 444 00:24:32,707 --> 00:24:34,573 City Health Inspector. 445 00:24:34,575 --> 00:24:37,209 I'm going to have to see everything right now. 446 00:24:37,211 --> 00:24:38,212 Yes, okay. 447 00:24:40,781 --> 00:24:41,615 Follow me. 448 00:24:43,785 --> 00:24:46,619 Make sure your stations are clean. 449 00:24:46,621 --> 00:24:48,054 It worked. 450 00:24:48,056 --> 00:24:49,521 So we're all gonna lose our jobs now? 451 00:24:49,523 --> 00:24:51,392 This is bigger than all of us, Karen. 452 00:24:52,593 --> 00:24:54,626 Hey, hey, the public's not allowed in the kitchen! 453 00:24:54,628 --> 00:24:56,161 It's the Health Inspector. 454 00:24:56,163 --> 00:24:58,330 Where are the desserts made? 455 00:24:58,332 --> 00:24:59,765 Right over here, this guy. 456 00:24:59,767 --> 00:25:01,400 What's his name? 457 00:25:01,402 --> 00:25:02,234 El Guano. 458 00:25:02,236 --> 00:25:03,401 El Guano. 459 00:25:03,403 --> 00:25:04,603 Do you know anything about this? 460 00:25:04,605 --> 00:25:06,238 I don't know if he even speaks any English. 461 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,474 He doesn't speak any English, dick brain! 462 00:25:08,476 --> 00:25:09,411 Can't you see that? 463 00:25:11,546 --> 00:25:12,581 No. 464 00:25:16,451 --> 00:25:17,583 Hey, what's up, Richard? 465 00:25:17,585 --> 00:25:18,517 Oh, I was just doing my side work. 466 00:25:18,519 --> 00:25:19,684 What're you doing? 467 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:21,086 I'm just checking... 468 00:25:21,088 --> 00:25:22,321 No, why are you fucking everything up? 469 00:25:22,323 --> 00:25:23,622 Everything is already fucked up. 470 00:25:23,624 --> 00:25:25,857 I'm trying to get it un-fucked. 471 00:25:25,859 --> 00:25:26,792 Kitchen is clean. 472 00:25:26,794 --> 00:25:28,794 Must be some kind of prank. 473 00:25:28,796 --> 00:25:30,696 Whoever is responsible will be disciplined, 474 00:25:30,698 --> 00:25:32,163 I assure you, Mr. Grady. 475 00:25:32,165 --> 00:25:33,532 Hey, I'm Jeremy. 476 00:25:33,534 --> 00:25:34,566 Nice to meet you. 477 00:25:34,568 --> 00:25:36,235 What's going on, guys? 478 00:25:36,237 --> 00:25:38,636 Nothing you need to worry about, Jeremy. 479 00:25:38,638 --> 00:25:40,873 Are their bugs in the basement again, Andy? 480 00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:42,307 Basement? 481 00:25:42,309 --> 00:25:43,711 That's where the food is stored, Mr. Grady. 482 00:25:44,612 --> 00:25:46,112 I'd be happy to show you. 483 00:25:46,114 --> 00:25:46,711 Sure. 484 00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:47,546 Jeremy, 485 00:25:47,548 --> 00:25:49,614 why don't you join us 486 00:25:49,616 --> 00:25:51,720 and show me where you think you saw a bug. 487 00:26:04,632 --> 00:26:07,201 As you can see, it's rather mundane down here. 488 00:26:11,404 --> 00:26:12,872 This doesn't make any sense. 489 00:26:12,874 --> 00:26:14,076 I beg your pardon? 490 00:26:17,678 --> 00:26:18,747 Nevermind. 491 00:26:19,614 --> 00:26:21,212 Nothing, it was nothing. 492 00:26:21,214 --> 00:26:21,849 You satisfied? 493 00:26:23,784 --> 00:26:26,488 I'll be back in a few weeks to make another assessment. 494 00:26:30,258 --> 00:26:31,093 Well? 495 00:26:43,703 --> 00:26:45,206 Over here. 496 00:26:49,376 --> 00:26:51,242 Jeremy. 497 00:26:59,186 --> 00:27:00,753 Who's there? 498 00:27:00,755 --> 00:27:01,756 Who's there? 499 00:27:29,416 --> 00:27:31,382 Is that my CT Crunch? 500 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:40,194 Rent's due. 501 00:28:00,381 --> 00:28:01,283 Guys, 502 00:28:02,817 --> 00:28:06,755 Joey Dean is coming to Scoppa tonight. 503 00:28:07,688 --> 00:28:08,921 I need all of you to be 504 00:28:08,923 --> 00:28:11,957 the very best versions of you this evening. 505 00:28:11,959 --> 00:28:15,693 Even if you're not serving Joey Dean, he'll see you. 506 00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,432 He'll feel your vibrations. 507 00:28:19,267 --> 00:28:20,701 No negative vibes! 508 00:28:21,769 --> 00:28:23,371 I want you to picture something. 509 00:28:24,805 --> 00:28:25,673 You know that moment 510 00:28:26,973 --> 00:28:30,477 when you and your lover are getting it on? 511 00:28:32,413 --> 00:28:36,782 Suddenly your cat comes and stands next to the bed 512 00:28:36,784 --> 00:28:38,220 and it starts watching you 513 00:28:39,452 --> 00:28:42,821 and your lover can't see but you can see 514 00:28:42,823 --> 00:28:44,823 and the cat's looking you in the eyes 515 00:28:44,825 --> 00:28:46,792 and you're looking at that cat 516 00:28:46,794 --> 00:28:48,893 and you're thrusting and suddenly there's 517 00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:51,764 this strange cosmic moment of awkwardness. 518 00:28:51,766 --> 00:28:54,732 Now, you can't stop because your lover's about to come 519 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:56,602 and you don't wanna spoil that for them, 520 00:28:56,604 --> 00:28:57,803 so you keep fucking! 521 00:28:57,805 --> 00:28:59,470 In fact, 522 00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:02,277 you give your lover the best damn fuck of their life! 523 00:29:04,511 --> 00:29:05,346 Joey Dean 524 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,315 is your lover. 525 00:29:09,750 --> 00:29:10,551 I 526 00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:12,319 am the cat. 527 00:29:13,988 --> 00:29:15,257 I'll be watching you. 528 00:29:17,625 --> 00:29:18,559 Let's give him 529 00:29:19,727 --> 00:29:22,728 the best dinner of his life. 530 00:29:22,730 --> 00:29:25,666 That was literally the worst analogy I have ever heard. 531 00:29:29,970 --> 00:29:31,937 See you on the floor, my darlings. 532 00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:34,409 And don't forget, smile. 533 00:29:35,710 --> 00:29:36,775 Smile. 534 00:29:39,779 --> 00:29:41,346 Hey, Andy? 535 00:29:41,348 --> 00:29:41,982 Andy? 536 00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:46,852 Have you ever seen Exses? 537 00:29:46,854 --> 00:29:48,453 Of course. 538 00:29:48,455 --> 00:29:50,521 I've been told that he was quite a looker in his day. 539 00:29:50,523 --> 00:29:52,725 These days, he's a little worse for wear. 540 00:29:52,727 --> 00:29:53,561 No, I mean, 541 00:29:54,729 --> 00:29:58,529 as he ever visited you outside of Scoppa? 542 00:29:58,531 --> 00:29:59,832 Jeremy, 543 00:29:59,834 --> 00:30:01,834 Exses doesn't do things like that. 544 00:30:01,836 --> 00:30:04,538 He does now, he came to my apartment last night. 545 00:30:05,373 --> 00:30:06,971 Hmmm. 546 00:30:06,973 --> 00:30:07,808 I'll talk to him. 547 00:30:15,782 --> 00:30:17,815 Have you guys been to the Indian fusion place yet? 548 00:30:17,817 --> 00:30:20,084 Yeah but it was so overrated. 549 00:30:20,086 --> 00:30:21,987 Their cocktails weren't that creative 550 00:30:21,989 --> 00:30:23,956 and they didn't even have vegan options. 551 00:30:23,958 --> 00:30:26,424 Oh God, what is this, like the 1950s? 552 00:30:26,426 --> 00:30:27,726 Right? 553 00:30:27,728 --> 00:30:29,694 I'm like, "Aren't Indians vegetarian anyway?" 554 00:30:29,696 --> 00:30:31,729 I guess that's where the fusion comes in. 555 00:30:31,731 --> 00:30:32,831 Lame. 556 00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:33,998 Oh my God! 557 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:34,900 That's Joey Dean! 558 00:30:34,902 --> 00:30:36,101 Oh my God, that's Joey Dean! 559 00:30:36,103 --> 00:30:37,402 Oh my God! 560 00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:38,437 Oh my God! Oh my God! 561 00:30:38,439 --> 00:30:39,404 We gotta stop, we gotta go! 562 00:30:39,406 --> 00:30:40,439 We have to talk to him. 563 00:30:40,441 --> 00:30:41,140 All right, ready, ladies? 564 00:30:41,142 --> 00:30:42,641 Put 'em up. 565 00:30:42,643 --> 00:30:43,475 Good? 566 00:30:43,477 --> 00:30:44,442 Ready? 567 00:30:44,444 --> 00:30:45,879 Come on, come on, just go out. 568 00:30:47,047 --> 00:30:48,646 Hi, sir? 569 00:30:48,648 --> 00:30:49,948 Are you Joey Dean? 570 00:30:49,950 --> 00:30:50,982 That's me. 571 00:30:50,984 --> 00:30:51,949 - Oh my God! - I love your show! 572 00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:52,918 You have no idea! 573 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,420 Oh, I think I do. 574 00:30:54,422 --> 00:30:56,488 Are you reviewing Scoppa tonight? 575 00:30:56,490 --> 00:30:57,122 Yes. 576 00:30:57,924 --> 00:30:58,957 We're eating here too. 577 00:30:58,959 --> 00:30:59,892 Nice. 578 00:30:59,894 --> 00:31:01,794 We're actually food bloggers. 579 00:31:01,796 --> 00:31:03,431 Oh, that's wonderful. 580 00:31:04,632 --> 00:31:06,731 Well, Mr. Dean, have you decided? 581 00:31:08,169 --> 00:31:09,066 Perfect. 582 00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:10,936 And for you, sir? 583 00:31:10,938 --> 00:31:12,171 I'll have the lasagna 584 00:31:12,173 --> 00:31:14,706 but can I start with your number? 585 00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:17,709 I'll get that lasagna right in for you. 586 00:31:17,711 --> 00:31:19,010 Is there anything else I can do for you? 587 00:31:19,012 --> 00:31:19,911 No, thank you. 588 00:31:19,913 --> 00:31:21,180 Thank you. 589 00:31:21,182 --> 00:31:22,817 She'll be back. 590 00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:25,717 Ladies, 591 00:31:25,719 --> 00:31:29,121 it's been way, way too long since I've been laid. 592 00:31:29,123 --> 00:31:30,823 How about that food photographer? 593 00:31:30,825 --> 00:31:31,824 He was checking you out. 594 00:31:31,826 --> 00:31:32,924 Ew. 595 00:31:32,926 --> 00:31:34,593 I think he's a virgin. 596 00:31:34,595 --> 00:31:38,663 No, I bet he's got a big dick and nobody knows. 597 00:31:38,665 --> 00:31:41,667 No, he's like that fish that everybody thought was extinct 598 00:31:41,669 --> 00:31:44,803 but it turns out he's been here this whole time. 599 00:31:44,805 --> 00:31:47,805 Or he could have a micro penis like the last guy I dated. 600 00:31:48,642 --> 00:31:50,042 Worst night of my life. 601 00:31:50,044 --> 00:31:51,477 How small was it again? 602 00:31:51,479 --> 00:31:52,080 Oh. 603 00:32:03,123 --> 00:32:05,524 Ugh, shit, come on. 604 00:32:05,526 --> 00:32:06,924 Look, sweetie, my hands are full. 605 00:32:06,926 --> 00:32:08,862 You wanna take care of that for me? 606 00:32:10,163 --> 00:32:12,764 Karen, you're needed in the kitchen. 607 00:32:12,766 --> 00:32:14,266 We are so sorry. 608 00:32:14,268 --> 00:32:16,701 That was completely our fault. 609 00:32:16,703 --> 00:32:18,940 If there's anything at all that you need, 610 00:32:20,074 --> 00:32:21,676 I'm Andy, the manager, 611 00:32:22,509 --> 00:32:23,545 and I'm here for you. 612 00:32:25,112 --> 00:32:27,849 Sit down, Dimitri, stay awhile. 613 00:32:37,758 --> 00:32:38,856 Love the lighting here. 614 00:32:38,858 --> 00:32:41,125 Good because the food's shit. 615 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:43,261 How does this place have so many great reviews? 616 00:32:43,263 --> 00:32:45,162 I mean, it's whatever, it's nothing special. 617 00:32:45,164 --> 00:32:46,864 Are you kidding me? 618 00:32:46,866 --> 00:32:49,066 This is like the best tortellini I've ever had. 619 00:32:49,068 --> 00:32:51,969 And the server is fucking hot. 620 00:32:51,971 --> 00:32:53,138 He looks like a serial killer. 621 00:32:53,140 --> 00:32:55,172 Oh, I bet he fucks hard. 622 00:32:57,010 --> 00:33:00,011 Hi, ladies, you mentioned being food bloggers. 623 00:33:00,013 --> 00:33:01,646 You know, I could take a picture 624 00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:03,981 for your website if you want, free of charge. 625 00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:05,616 Oooh, what's the catch? 626 00:33:05,618 --> 00:33:08,053 Well, I'd have to get your email to send you the file. 627 00:33:08,055 --> 00:33:09,121 Crafty. 628 00:33:09,123 --> 00:33:11,055 Tell you what, camera man, 629 00:33:11,057 --> 00:33:13,691 why don't you just say what's really on your mind? 630 00:33:13,693 --> 00:33:15,093 Sure. 631 00:33:15,095 --> 00:33:17,563 I would fuck all of you. 632 00:33:17,565 --> 00:33:19,064 Yeah, I overheard you earlier 633 00:33:19,066 --> 00:33:21,033 and my cock is seven and a quarter inches. 634 00:33:21,035 --> 00:33:22,867 If I had to just fuck one of you, it would be you, 635 00:33:22,869 --> 00:33:24,769 because I like your tits, whatever your name is. 636 00:33:24,771 --> 00:33:26,103 Hey, are you really a food blogger 637 00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:27,773 or is that just like a hobby or something? 638 00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:30,979 It's Janice 639 00:33:33,314 --> 00:33:34,649 and here's my card. 640 00:33:44,991 --> 00:33:46,024 Evening. 641 00:33:46,026 --> 00:33:48,226 Hey, can I get a whiskey, neat? 642 00:33:48,228 --> 00:33:49,631 Sure, coming right up. 643 00:34:00,374 --> 00:34:03,141 You just start drinking, boy? 644 00:34:03,143 --> 00:34:03,978 No. 645 00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:07,181 Can I take a picture of you? 646 00:34:17,824 --> 00:34:19,023 Dimitri. 647 00:34:19,025 --> 00:34:22,094 Have you gone completely off the reservation? 648 00:34:22,096 --> 00:34:23,130 Look at this. 649 00:34:25,833 --> 00:34:27,168 Catch up with you later, kid. 650 00:34:37,110 --> 00:34:40,248 I love it when they make it this easy. 651 00:34:41,681 --> 00:34:43,014 Thank you for joining us, sir. 652 00:34:43,016 --> 00:34:44,650 Of course. 653 00:34:44,652 --> 00:34:45,983 And if you see my photographer, 654 00:34:45,985 --> 00:34:47,588 put him in a cab home, will you? 655 00:34:49,722 --> 00:34:50,856 Photographer? 656 00:34:50,858 --> 00:34:52,023 Psst. 657 00:34:52,025 --> 00:34:53,057 Smile. 658 00:34:53,059 --> 00:34:55,026 Okay. 659 00:34:55,028 --> 00:34:56,427 Because you've been such good guests, 660 00:34:56,429 --> 00:34:57,795 I wanted to share with you something new 661 00:34:57,797 --> 00:34:59,898 we're trying here at Scoppa. 662 00:34:59,900 --> 00:35:01,733 We're building a garden out back. 663 00:35:01,735 --> 00:35:02,867 Ever been to a speakeasy? 664 00:35:02,869 --> 00:35:03,969 Oh my gosh, yes! 665 00:35:03,971 --> 00:35:05,170 Do we need a password? 666 00:35:05,172 --> 00:35:06,371 No, not yet. 667 00:35:06,373 --> 00:35:08,840 We're working on some special cocktails 668 00:35:08,842 --> 00:35:11,376 and thought you might wanna come see the space, 669 00:35:11,378 --> 00:35:12,778 meet the bartender. 670 00:35:12,780 --> 00:35:13,878 I don't know, guys, I have to wake up 671 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,813 early in the morning tomorrow. 672 00:35:15,815 --> 00:35:17,983 I understand, I was 10 years old once. 673 00:35:17,985 --> 00:35:20,184 Oh my God, Jenny, don't be so lame. 674 00:35:20,186 --> 00:35:21,385 Yeah, it sounds cool. 675 00:35:21,387 --> 00:35:22,222 I'm in. 676 00:35:23,257 --> 00:35:24,990 Excellent. 677 00:35:24,992 --> 00:35:27,260 I'll be waiting over by the door whenever you're ready. 678 00:35:33,099 --> 00:35:34,965 The restrooms are right over. 679 00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:35,969 It's okay. 680 00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:39,304 Can I help you, Karen? 681 00:35:39,306 --> 00:35:40,871 Why is everybody... 682 00:35:40,873 --> 00:35:43,307 Karen, table 31 needs to be turned over, please. 683 00:35:43,309 --> 00:35:46,114 Look, there are guests waiting to be seated already. 684 00:35:49,282 --> 00:35:51,148 Did you see that food photographer? 685 00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:52,249 You mean the really creepy guy? 686 00:35:52,251 --> 00:35:54,251 Yeah, did he leave? 687 00:35:54,253 --> 00:35:55,288 I don't know. 688 00:35:59,460 --> 00:36:01,258 Max? 689 00:36:01,260 --> 00:36:02,163 Yes, sir? 690 00:36:03,197 --> 00:36:04,164 Are you in on it? 691 00:36:05,298 --> 00:36:06,333 Nope. 692 00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:08,166 You're in on it. 693 00:36:08,168 --> 00:36:09,269 Listen, big guy. 694 00:36:10,304 --> 00:36:12,336 I'm just like you, okay? 695 00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:15,240 I know about it but I'm not apart of it. 696 00:36:15,242 --> 00:36:16,173 But they're killing people... 697 00:36:16,175 --> 00:36:17,175 Shut your mouth, all right?! 698 00:36:17,177 --> 00:36:19,177 Fuck these people, okay? 699 00:36:19,179 --> 00:36:21,179 They are food tourists. 700 00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:23,717 That's like the worst kind of tourism there is. 701 00:36:24,851 --> 00:36:26,186 They don't have lives. 702 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,887 I'll tell you what, 703 00:36:28,889 --> 00:36:32,190 this is the best bartending gig I've ever had. 704 00:36:32,192 --> 00:36:33,360 I don't do shit. 705 00:36:37,998 --> 00:36:40,030 This sounds so cool. 706 00:36:40,032 --> 00:36:41,402 Which way is the garden? 707 00:36:42,268 --> 00:36:44,001 Garden? 708 00:36:45,472 --> 00:36:47,271 - What garden? - What is this? 709 00:36:47,273 --> 00:36:48,340 Let's go. 710 00:36:48,342 --> 00:36:51,208 That's not happening! 711 00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:53,545 You can't take us all at the same time with that thing. 712 00:36:53,547 --> 00:36:54,181 That's true 713 00:36:55,315 --> 00:36:57,282 but I will go for your faces. 714 00:36:59,085 --> 00:37:00,253 And I have to tell you, 715 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:02,824 I'm an artist with this thing. 716 00:37:04,391 --> 00:37:05,891 Who's first? 717 00:37:07,161 --> 00:37:09,193 Now you're all gonna sit down next to this door, 718 00:37:09,195 --> 00:37:11,530 tie your hands and wait further instructions! 719 00:37:14,034 --> 00:37:18,206 Failure to comply will result in me landscaping your face. 720 00:37:19,373 --> 00:37:21,273 Nobody wants that, right? 721 00:37:23,277 --> 00:37:24,409 Get to it! 722 00:37:27,514 --> 00:37:28,349 No! 723 00:37:36,590 --> 00:37:39,193 So I had this dream, right? 724 00:37:51,405 --> 00:37:54,039 This guy passes me a joint and he says, 725 00:37:54,041 --> 00:37:55,340 "Keep it, man. 726 00:37:55,342 --> 00:37:57,144 "This joint give you the sight." 727 00:37:59,012 --> 00:37:59,981 So I took a hit. 728 00:38:01,882 --> 00:38:05,153 I'm walking around the big apple, smoking this doobie. 729 00:38:06,586 --> 00:38:08,286 Every hit I take, 730 00:38:08,288 --> 00:38:11,893 I go deeper and deeper 731 00:38:12,525 --> 00:38:14,094 down the rabbit hole. 732 00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:19,467 I see this town for what it really is. 733 00:38:20,867 --> 00:38:21,668 New York is dead. 734 00:38:23,003 --> 00:38:25,135 It's literally a tiny pocket of Hell 735 00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:29,340 that grew into our world over hundreds of years like a weed! 736 00:38:29,342 --> 00:38:32,142 I could just pass someone and know everything about her. 737 00:38:34,981 --> 00:38:36,284 I pass this girl. 738 00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:39,316 This girl likes bad boys. 739 00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:42,320 Every guy she dates beats her up and cheats on her! 740 00:38:42,322 --> 00:38:44,555 And she's crying by herself, asking the universe, 741 00:38:44,557 --> 00:38:47,425 "Why do people treat me like this?" 742 00:38:49,463 --> 00:38:50,427 And you know what? 743 00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:51,932 It's because she wants it! 744 00:38:54,034 --> 00:38:55,599 You feel sorry for her? 745 00:38:55,601 --> 00:38:56,403 Don't. 746 00:38:57,570 --> 00:38:59,539 She can leave New York anytime she wants. 747 00:39:03,010 --> 00:39:04,212 Then there was this guy. 748 00:39:05,945 --> 00:39:06,581 Smart kid. 749 00:39:07,414 --> 00:39:08,979 He comes to New York 750 00:39:08,981 --> 00:39:11,048 and takes the shittiest entry level jobs 751 00:39:11,050 --> 00:39:12,219 then gets washed out. 752 00:39:14,621 --> 00:39:18,159 He's been so poor for so long 753 00:39:20,460 --> 00:39:22,230 that's become his identity. 754 00:39:25,364 --> 00:39:28,501 Whenever he looks in the mirror he sees a loser. 755 00:39:32,271 --> 00:39:33,974 So that's what everyone else sees. 756 00:39:40,646 --> 00:39:41,982 And then I found Exses. 757 00:39:46,420 --> 00:39:50,523 Exses is the only person in this city who's real. 758 00:39:52,192 --> 00:39:54,628 Exses is here, in this room. 759 00:40:00,333 --> 00:40:01,234 Can you smell him? 760 00:40:05,237 --> 00:40:07,539 Can you feel his weight? 761 00:40:16,483 --> 00:40:18,486 Exses is here to clean up the trash. 762 00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:23,356 Me, 763 00:40:24,757 --> 00:40:26,458 I'm just a cog in the machine. 764 00:40:29,762 --> 00:40:30,628 I'm kidding. 765 00:40:30,630 --> 00:40:32,731 It wasn't in a dream. 766 00:40:32,733 --> 00:40:35,200 But the story flows better when I say that. 767 00:40:39,472 --> 00:40:41,139 Easy. 768 00:40:41,141 --> 00:40:42,242 Just relax. 769 00:40:44,577 --> 00:40:45,980 Shit! 770 00:41:03,764 --> 00:41:05,496 That's a good girl. 771 00:41:05,498 --> 00:41:06,634 Off you go. 772 00:41:14,173 --> 00:41:16,173 Let's see what's behind door number two! 773 00:41:17,476 --> 00:41:18,411 No, wait! 774 00:41:20,414 --> 00:41:23,447 Janice, hold my purse. 775 00:41:23,449 --> 00:41:25,749 It's Louis Vuitton, I can't. 776 00:41:30,123 --> 00:41:31,692 Please don't make it hurt too much. 777 00:41:35,262 --> 00:41:36,564 Richard. 778 00:41:41,835 --> 00:41:43,802 Did you guys hear that? 779 00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:15,166 So, when I said rotate the tables, 780 00:42:15,168 --> 00:42:16,501 was I not clear enough? 781 00:42:16,503 --> 00:42:17,668 Andy! 782 00:42:17,670 --> 00:42:18,570 What? 783 00:42:18,572 --> 00:42:20,304 He's found the one. 784 00:42:20,306 --> 00:42:21,139 Who is it? 785 00:42:21,141 --> 00:42:22,606 Are they here? 786 00:42:22,608 --> 00:42:24,876 Good evening, sir, welcome to Scoppa. 787 00:42:24,878 --> 00:42:26,610 Do you have a reservation? 788 00:42:26,612 --> 00:42:27,612 No. 789 00:42:27,614 --> 00:42:28,612 That's no problem. 790 00:42:28,614 --> 00:42:30,315 How many in your party? 791 00:42:30,317 --> 00:42:31,152 Just me. 792 00:42:32,585 --> 00:42:33,552 Excellent. 793 00:42:33,554 --> 00:42:36,123 Right this way, sir, we'll find you a table. 794 00:42:37,356 --> 00:42:39,724 I'm Andy, the manager. 795 00:42:39,726 --> 00:42:42,262 If you need anything at all, just grab me. 796 00:42:43,697 --> 00:42:45,697 How did you hear about us? 797 00:42:45,699 --> 00:42:47,233 From an old army buddy. 798 00:42:51,338 --> 00:42:52,637 Hey, handsome, I'm Cassie, 799 00:42:52,639 --> 00:42:54,204 I'll be taking care of you today. 800 00:42:54,206 --> 00:42:55,472 Have you had a chance to look at the menu? 801 00:42:55,474 --> 00:42:56,641 Do you have any questions or anything? 802 00:42:56,643 --> 00:42:57,575 Yeah. 803 00:42:57,577 --> 00:42:58,742 What do you do for a living? 804 00:42:58,744 --> 00:43:00,644 Are you a politician or something? 805 00:43:00,646 --> 00:43:01,912 I work in finance. 806 00:43:01,914 --> 00:43:03,715 Oh, I hear you were in the army. 807 00:43:03,717 --> 00:43:05,349 Yup. 808 00:43:05,351 --> 00:43:06,784 I bet you have some really interesting stories. 809 00:43:06,786 --> 00:43:07,918 Yeah. 810 00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:08,853 Do you wanna tell me one? 811 00:43:08,855 --> 00:43:09,690 No. 812 00:43:11,858 --> 00:43:13,358 Oh my God. 813 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:14,825 Are you guys okay? 814 00:43:14,827 --> 00:43:17,528 Well, we just found out how much blood is in a human body. 815 00:43:18,697 --> 00:43:19,930 It was Richard. 816 00:43:19,932 --> 00:43:21,666 He brought us down here and started feeding us 817 00:43:21,668 --> 00:43:22,800 to that thing in the shadows. 818 00:43:22,802 --> 00:43:24,302 - I know. - We have to go to the police. 819 00:43:24,304 --> 00:43:25,470 We can't, there's no point. 820 00:43:25,472 --> 00:43:26,503 They would never believe us. 821 00:43:26,505 --> 00:43:27,338 Right. 822 00:43:27,340 --> 00:43:28,173 Come on. 823 00:43:28,175 --> 00:43:29,310 Hey, guys. 824 00:43:30,342 --> 00:43:31,478 Jeremy. 825 00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:35,412 Wanna hang out here for awhile? 826 00:43:35,414 --> 00:43:36,847 Go get a mop and clean that up, will you? 827 00:43:36,849 --> 00:43:38,715 It's disgusting. 828 00:43:44,690 --> 00:43:46,257 It's okay. 829 00:43:46,259 --> 00:43:48,193 I will text Corey 830 00:43:48,195 --> 00:43:50,865 and he'll come down and get us out. 831 00:43:51,898 --> 00:43:52,764 Yeah. 832 00:44:02,675 --> 00:44:03,811 And here's your meal. 833 00:44:06,545 --> 00:44:07,447 What do you think? 834 00:44:08,614 --> 00:44:10,414 It's very... 835 00:44:10,416 --> 00:44:11,249 Colorful. 836 00:44:12,284 --> 00:44:12,920 Take your time. 837 00:44:31,237 --> 00:44:33,503 Corey, have you seen Jeremy? 838 00:44:33,505 --> 00:44:35,907 He's probably dropping a deuce. 839 00:44:35,909 --> 00:44:36,744 Great. 840 00:44:43,416 --> 00:44:44,518 Oh, shit. 841 00:44:46,385 --> 00:44:47,788 Going home, Andy. 842 00:44:49,922 --> 00:44:51,722 Karen, we're all set, you can go. 843 00:44:51,724 --> 00:44:53,423 Have you seen Jeremy? 844 00:44:53,425 --> 00:44:55,626 Girl, he left like 15 minutes ago. 845 00:44:55,628 --> 00:44:56,594 Where have you been? 846 00:44:56,596 --> 00:44:58,264 We're closed, go home. 847 00:45:02,969 --> 00:45:04,501 Hey, here you go. 848 00:45:04,503 --> 00:45:05,970 Great work tonight, you're cut. 849 00:45:05,972 --> 00:45:06,804 Okay? 850 00:45:06,806 --> 00:45:08,039 Thank you. 851 00:45:08,041 --> 00:45:08,972 I need you to rotate the tables tomorrow. 852 00:45:08,974 --> 00:45:10,608 - Okay, I will. - Okay. 853 00:45:10,610 --> 00:45:11,708 - Bye. - Have a good one. 854 00:45:11,710 --> 00:45:12,612 Rotate the tables. 855 00:45:21,820 --> 00:45:23,021 Yes? 856 00:45:23,023 --> 00:45:24,856 Hey, Caitlin, I know this isn't your fault 857 00:45:24,858 --> 00:45:26,691 but the service seems really slow. 858 00:45:26,693 --> 00:45:29,059 Is there a problem or? 859 00:45:29,061 --> 00:45:30,728 I don't know what's going on, I'm so sorry. 860 00:45:30,730 --> 00:45:32,632 I'm gonna go check for you. 861 00:45:35,068 --> 00:45:36,800 - Knife. - Andy? 862 00:45:36,802 --> 00:45:37,869 Knife. 863 00:45:37,871 --> 00:45:39,037 Is this the tiramisu for table 13? 864 00:45:39,039 --> 00:45:41,305 What, this? 865 00:45:41,307 --> 00:45:44,742 Huh, oh my God, I am so sorry. 866 00:45:44,744 --> 00:45:46,010 It's okay. 867 00:45:46,012 --> 00:45:47,845 He's just been waiting over 20 minutes 868 00:45:47,847 --> 00:45:49,012 and the restaurant's empty now. 869 00:45:49,014 --> 00:45:51,382 Will somebody bring it out there? 870 00:45:51,384 --> 00:45:54,017 You know what, don't worry about it. 871 00:45:54,019 --> 00:45:55,485 I'll get it. 872 00:45:55,487 --> 00:45:56,753 I'll take it to him 873 00:45:56,755 --> 00:45:58,523 and I'll leave the tip in an envelop for you. 874 00:45:58,525 --> 00:45:59,356 Okay. 875 00:45:59,358 --> 00:46:00,590 And don't worry, 876 00:46:00,592 --> 00:46:02,994 I'll explain that is was entirely my fault. 877 00:46:02,996 --> 00:46:05,396 Go, rest. 878 00:46:05,398 --> 00:46:07,432 You worked so hard today. 879 00:46:07,434 --> 00:46:08,833 Sure. 880 00:46:08,835 --> 00:46:09,833 Thanks, Andy. 881 00:46:09,835 --> 00:46:11,369 Thank you, Cassie. 882 00:46:11,371 --> 00:46:12,603 Goodnight, guys. 883 00:46:12,605 --> 00:46:14,472 Do you want fare for a cab ride home? 884 00:46:14,474 --> 00:46:16,574 I live two blocks away, it's fine, Andy. 885 00:46:16,576 --> 00:46:17,842 You want me to call Uber? 886 00:46:17,844 --> 00:46:18,945 No, thank you. 887 00:46:19,813 --> 00:46:21,713 I am so sorry, sir. 888 00:46:21,715 --> 00:46:23,748 My manager, Andy, is gonna bring out your dessert 889 00:46:23,750 --> 00:46:25,416 and close out your tab for you. 890 00:46:25,418 --> 00:46:28,119 It was really nice meeting you, um? 891 00:46:28,121 --> 00:46:28,952 Michael. 892 00:46:28,954 --> 00:46:30,220 Michael. 893 00:46:30,222 --> 00:46:32,789 Have a great night and I hope to see you again really soon. 894 00:46:32,791 --> 00:46:33,825 Thanks. 895 00:46:33,827 --> 00:46:34,662 Goodnight. 896 00:46:35,795 --> 00:46:37,865 So sorry about that, sir. 897 00:46:39,398 --> 00:46:41,532 Because you've been so patient, 898 00:46:41,534 --> 00:46:43,900 please accept tonight's mean at half price. 899 00:46:43,902 --> 00:46:45,869 Well, thank you, that's too kind. 900 00:46:45,871 --> 00:46:48,905 No, you're too kind. 901 00:46:48,907 --> 00:46:50,610 You've been so patient tonight. 902 00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:11,964 Hi. 903 00:47:27,045 --> 00:47:28,646 How's that tasting? 904 00:47:28,648 --> 00:47:29,682 Go fuck yourself. 905 00:48:02,614 --> 00:48:04,148 At least give me a challenge, man. 906 00:48:04,150 --> 00:48:06,016 Then fight with your goddamn hands. 907 00:48:13,126 --> 00:48:14,858 That's enough! 908 00:48:43,690 --> 00:48:45,021 How was the tiramisu? 909 00:48:45,023 --> 00:48:47,157 Didn't agree with me so much. 910 00:48:47,159 --> 00:48:49,092 Maybe it's the gluten. 911 00:48:49,094 --> 00:48:51,597 Our restaurant offers gluten free options now. 912 00:48:53,032 --> 00:48:55,032 It's pretty much a requirement these days. 913 00:48:55,034 --> 00:48:56,537 That stuff is pure poison. 914 00:48:57,971 --> 00:49:02,009 Now, Richard, you can't have Italian food without wheat. 915 00:49:03,710 --> 00:49:04,577 It's tradition. 916 00:49:05,777 --> 00:49:07,778 They say that gluten protein 917 00:49:07,780 --> 00:49:12,019 permeates your intestines and goes into your blood stream. 918 00:49:13,286 --> 00:49:14,954 It's all downhill from there. 919 00:49:16,054 --> 00:49:16,954 Really? 920 00:49:16,956 --> 00:49:18,722 Are we gonna talk about the vampire 921 00:49:18,724 --> 00:49:21,092 or are we all just discussing our diets? 922 00:49:21,094 --> 00:49:24,862 Do you know why you're here, Michael? 923 00:49:24,864 --> 00:49:27,134 Because I got my ass kicked? 924 00:49:29,068 --> 00:49:32,005 You are a rare specimen, Michael. 925 00:49:32,972 --> 00:49:37,909 You have a strong spirit and a powerful body. 926 00:49:37,911 --> 00:49:41,144 You have resources and intelligence, 927 00:49:41,146 --> 00:49:44,782 and yet, if you disappeared tonight, 928 00:49:44,784 --> 00:49:48,151 no one would even notice. 929 00:49:48,153 --> 00:49:49,554 Thanks? 930 00:49:49,556 --> 00:49:54,157 I am willing to bargain for your life. 931 00:49:54,159 --> 00:49:56,896 I need a new body, Michael. 932 00:49:58,063 --> 00:50:01,699 You should've seen this one when it was new. 933 00:50:01,701 --> 00:50:05,001 I was considered quite handsome. 934 00:50:05,003 --> 00:50:09,340 Women once traveled hundreds of miles 935 00:50:09,342 --> 00:50:11,077 to drink my seed. 936 00:50:12,711 --> 00:50:16,682 Infants were eaten alive with a snap of my fingers. 937 00:50:17,317 --> 00:50:19,215 I was adored. 938 00:50:19,217 --> 00:50:21,184 You know, women in some parts of Brooklyn might... 939 00:50:23,356 --> 00:50:26,023 In exchange for your body, 940 00:50:26,025 --> 00:50:28,829 I will give you one year. 941 00:50:32,599 --> 00:50:34,999 One year of what, Exses? 942 00:50:35,001 --> 00:50:38,205 One year of living beyond your wildest dreams. 943 00:50:39,806 --> 00:50:42,206 You will have access to my magical powers, 944 00:50:42,208 --> 00:50:44,144 which are considerable. 945 00:50:45,612 --> 00:50:48,278 You'll have a freedom that no mortal has ever had. 946 00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:52,048 You will see the very fabric of reality itself 947 00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:54,351 and learn the secrets of the universe. 948 00:50:54,353 --> 00:50:55,286 - You... - No. 949 00:50:59,858 --> 00:51:00,925 I am not finished. 950 00:51:00,927 --> 00:51:02,159 I am. 951 00:51:02,161 --> 00:51:03,394 If you say no, 952 00:51:03,396 --> 00:51:06,097 I will simply take your body by force. 953 00:51:06,099 --> 00:51:08,833 You won't get one year. 954 00:51:08,835 --> 00:51:10,804 You won't even get one week. 955 00:51:11,771 --> 00:51:12,606 Michael, 956 00:51:13,806 --> 00:51:15,873 I would take this deal if I were you. 957 00:51:15,875 --> 00:51:17,210 Yeah, well you're not me. 958 00:51:18,210 --> 00:51:19,178 I said no. 959 00:51:20,313 --> 00:51:22,847 You can all suck my dick. 960 00:51:22,849 --> 00:51:25,318 You have 24 hours. 961 00:52:30,215 --> 00:52:31,449 What're you doing here? 962 00:52:31,451 --> 00:52:32,383 Last night. 963 00:52:32,385 --> 00:52:33,220 Do you remember? 964 00:52:34,887 --> 00:52:36,052 I thought I had a dream. 965 00:52:36,054 --> 00:52:37,887 That wasn't a dream. 966 00:52:37,889 --> 00:52:38,956 You got a mirror? 967 00:52:38,958 --> 00:52:40,157 Why? 968 00:52:40,159 --> 00:52:41,927 Stop asking bitch questions. 969 00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:47,099 Here. 970 00:52:48,067 --> 00:52:49,001 Look at me in that. 971 00:52:50,369 --> 00:52:51,769 Holy shit! 972 00:52:54,106 --> 00:52:56,173 I have until midnight, Jeremy. 973 00:52:56,175 --> 00:52:58,010 What're you gonna do? 974 00:52:59,512 --> 00:53:01,314 I'm gonna kill Richard. 975 00:53:02,481 --> 00:53:04,280 Dude, you can't just kill somebody. 976 00:53:04,282 --> 00:53:06,916 Actually, yes, yes you can. 977 00:53:11,824 --> 00:53:13,990 Well you can't kill Exses with that thing. 978 00:53:13,992 --> 00:53:15,126 I'm working on it. 979 00:53:15,128 --> 00:53:15,961 Let's go. 980 00:53:25,538 --> 00:53:27,438 When Exses marked me, 981 00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,775 I think I got some of those powers he was talking about. 982 00:53:30,777 --> 00:53:33,476 I see things, I know things. 983 00:53:33,478 --> 00:53:35,314 Like what things? 984 00:53:37,817 --> 00:53:40,251 You got acting experience, right? 985 00:53:40,253 --> 00:53:41,184 Who am I kidding? 986 00:53:41,186 --> 00:53:42,119 You work in a restaurant. 987 00:53:42,121 --> 00:53:43,354 This is so humiliating. 988 00:53:43,356 --> 00:53:44,789 That's the point. 989 00:53:44,791 --> 00:53:46,226 I saw this in a movie once. 990 00:53:51,998 --> 00:53:53,798 You're the kid from Scoppa. 991 00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,065 Yes, sir. 992 00:53:55,067 --> 00:53:56,467 And. 993 00:53:56,469 --> 00:53:58,434 Did you plant that cockroach in my cannoli? 994 00:53:58,436 --> 00:53:59,869 I did 995 00:53:59,871 --> 00:54:02,907 and I'm here to apologize, 996 00:54:02,909 --> 00:54:04,809 Mr. Grady, sir. 997 00:54:04,811 --> 00:54:09,380 On behalf of Scoppa, here's a formal letter of apology. 998 00:54:09,382 --> 00:54:10,414 That's not necessary. 999 00:54:10,416 --> 00:54:11,548 Yes it is. 1000 00:54:11,550 --> 00:54:14,117 And we hope you find it in your heart 1001 00:54:14,119 --> 00:54:16,586 to read that letter 1002 00:54:16,588 --> 00:54:20,927 and forgive us for what happened. 1003 00:54:23,862 --> 00:54:24,498 Goodbye. 1004 00:54:40,179 --> 00:54:41,845 Here's the deal, 1005 00:54:41,847 --> 00:54:43,514 Exses is from another reality. 1006 00:54:43,516 --> 00:54:45,182 A darker one. 1007 00:54:45,184 --> 00:54:48,619 In order to play in our world, he has to feed a lot. 1008 00:54:48,621 --> 00:54:50,987 Whenever he uses his power to influence things, 1009 00:54:50,989 --> 00:54:52,188 it drains his energy. 1010 00:54:52,190 --> 00:54:55,025 So we're gonna force him to blow his whole wad tonight, 1011 00:54:55,027 --> 00:54:56,360 just before midnight, 1012 00:54:56,362 --> 00:54:57,862 so that when midnight strikes, 1013 00:54:57,864 --> 00:55:00,063 he doesn't have enough power to finish his plan. 1014 00:55:00,065 --> 00:55:01,498 How do we make him do that? 1015 00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:04,267 He uses some of his power to make Scoppa popular, right? 1016 00:55:04,269 --> 00:55:06,470 To make people that the food is actually good. 1017 00:55:06,472 --> 00:55:08,338 Dude, the food there is awesome. 1018 00:55:08,340 --> 00:55:11,008 Have you listened to anything he just said? 1019 00:55:11,010 --> 00:55:12,476 Look, I need you to promise me that tonight 1020 00:55:12,478 --> 00:55:15,278 you're gonna give Scoppa's customers the worst service 1021 00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:16,313 they've ever had. 1022 00:55:16,315 --> 00:55:18,081 Spit in their drinks, 1023 00:55:18,083 --> 00:55:21,217 rub your dick in their lasagna, whatever it takes. 1024 00:55:21,219 --> 00:55:23,153 - I can't. - Huh? 1025 00:55:23,155 --> 00:55:24,655 I can't lose my job. 1026 00:55:24,657 --> 00:55:27,124 If we do this, they're gonna close Scoppa. 1027 00:55:27,126 --> 00:55:28,358 Yeah. 1028 00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:29,459 What the fuck, dude? 1029 00:55:29,461 --> 00:55:31,996 I mean, look at yourself. 1030 00:55:31,998 --> 00:55:34,430 Have you ever been broke in your life? 1031 00:55:34,432 --> 00:55:37,034 Did you ever worry about making rent? 1032 00:55:37,036 --> 00:55:37,967 You're right. 1033 00:55:37,969 --> 00:55:38,568 No, don't listen to them. 1034 00:55:38,570 --> 00:55:39,505 I misread you guys. 1035 00:55:52,251 --> 00:55:55,019 Oh my God, guys, that was horrible. 1036 00:55:55,021 --> 00:55:56,653 I'm sorry, guys, I fucked that up. 1037 00:55:56,655 --> 00:55:57,456 It's just, 1038 00:55:58,623 --> 00:55:59,458 I'm broke. 1039 00:56:10,369 --> 00:56:11,571 Have they hooked up yet? 1040 00:56:14,106 --> 00:56:15,005 Ow! 1041 00:56:15,007 --> 00:56:15,642 Ow! 1042 00:56:18,244 --> 00:56:19,376 Hey. 1043 00:56:19,378 --> 00:56:21,110 I'm so sorry, Jeremy. 1044 00:56:21,112 --> 00:56:22,445 I know what this meant to you. 1045 00:56:22,447 --> 00:56:23,713 I know something awful's going on. 1046 00:56:23,715 --> 00:56:26,050 Listen, if this costs you your job, 1047 00:56:26,052 --> 00:56:28,084 it's not our call to make. 1048 00:56:28,086 --> 00:56:29,452 No. 1049 00:56:29,454 --> 00:56:32,291 I can't keep working their if it's true, you know? 1050 00:56:39,998 --> 00:56:41,197 We're going with Michael's plan. 1051 00:56:41,199 --> 00:56:42,599 What if it doesn't work? 1052 00:56:42,601 --> 00:56:45,068 What if he dies and it's all for nothing? 1053 00:56:45,070 --> 00:56:46,302 Well, it's not all for nothin 1054 00:56:46,304 --> 00:56:47,438 I mean, this is what we've always wanted, 1055 00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,405 to make Andy's head explode? 1056 00:56:49,407 --> 00:56:52,275 To get back at all those assholes that dine as Scoppa? 1057 00:56:52,277 --> 00:56:53,577 Word. 1058 00:56:53,579 --> 00:56:55,713 We hold on to this retarded job like it's gold 1059 00:56:55,715 --> 00:56:58,349 because we're too chicken shit to think we can better. 1060 00:56:58,351 --> 00:56:59,650 Yeah. 1061 00:56:59,652 --> 00:57:02,086 Tonight, we give them hell. 1062 00:57:08,094 --> 00:57:08,726 Hey. 1063 00:57:09,561 --> 00:57:10,596 Hey! 1064 00:57:11,563 --> 00:57:12,965 We're still alive. 1065 00:57:14,065 --> 00:57:14,667 Yeah. 1066 00:57:16,268 --> 00:57:19,436 Well we can't just sit here and wait to be killed. 1067 00:57:19,438 --> 00:57:21,237 What's up with that mirror? 1068 00:57:21,239 --> 00:57:22,673 It does seem a little out of place. 1069 00:57:22,675 --> 00:57:24,074 Seriously, you guys, 1070 00:57:24,076 --> 00:57:25,775 there's one right upstairs just like it. 1071 00:57:25,777 --> 00:57:29,445 They probably keep extras in case one breaks. 1072 00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:30,546 Wait. 1073 00:57:30,548 --> 00:57:31,615 Your memory card. 1074 00:57:31,617 --> 00:57:32,849 What? 1075 00:57:32,851 --> 00:57:35,552 It's the only evidence we have that any of this happened. 1076 00:57:35,554 --> 00:57:37,054 You have to hide it. 1077 00:57:37,056 --> 00:57:38,554 Put it up your ass. 1078 00:57:38,556 --> 00:57:39,590 That's the best you got? 1079 00:57:39,592 --> 00:57:41,592 Put it up your ass, food blogger. 1080 00:57:41,594 --> 00:57:43,126 What is that supposed to mean? 1081 00:57:43,128 --> 00:57:45,162 Food bloggers are not real people. 1082 00:57:45,164 --> 00:57:46,396 Nobody gives a shit 1083 00:57:46,398 --> 00:57:47,664 what a bunch of white girls from Missouri 1084 00:57:47,666 --> 00:57:49,400 think about the food in New York. 1085 00:57:49,402 --> 00:57:50,800 You are such an ass. 1086 00:57:50,802 --> 00:57:52,304 Can you guys shut up? 1087 00:57:53,606 --> 00:57:54,637 - Food blogger. - Micro penis. 1088 00:57:54,639 --> 00:57:55,674 You'll never know. 1089 00:58:38,583 --> 00:58:40,184 Michael. 1090 00:58:40,186 --> 00:58:41,388 I don't have much time. 1091 00:58:42,588 --> 00:58:44,621 I'm reaching out to you from the future. 1092 00:58:44,623 --> 00:58:46,592 Exses has switched bodies with you. 1093 00:58:47,659 --> 00:58:48,795 I'm in his world now. 1094 00:58:49,695 --> 00:58:50,329 Listen to me. 1095 00:58:51,563 --> 00:58:54,465 Whatever happens to us, to you, 1096 00:58:54,467 --> 00:58:57,668 this is worse than death. 1097 00:58:57,670 --> 00:59:00,204 You can't let this happen, Michael. 1098 00:59:00,206 --> 00:59:03,143 I repeat, this is worse than death. 1099 00:59:12,717 --> 00:59:14,150 Hey. 1100 00:59:14,152 --> 00:59:15,619 What's going on, Goldie Hawn? 1101 00:59:15,621 --> 00:59:18,554 My name's Corey, I'm gonna be your server this evening. 1102 00:59:18,556 --> 00:59:19,523 Our specials are... 1103 00:59:19,525 --> 00:59:21,425 Excuse me, could I please have some water? 1104 00:59:21,427 --> 00:59:22,659 I've been driving for eight hours 1105 00:59:22,661 --> 00:59:24,128 and I would just like some water. 1106 00:59:24,130 --> 00:59:25,465 Yeah, man, for sure. 1107 00:59:27,398 --> 00:59:28,565 Thank you. 1108 00:59:32,637 --> 00:59:34,237 You know, if the food here's gonna be this messy, 1109 00:59:34,239 --> 00:59:35,741 they oughta give you more napkins. 1110 00:59:38,610 --> 00:59:39,575 Oh. 1111 00:59:39,577 --> 00:59:41,612 Did you need more napkins? 1112 00:59:41,614 --> 00:59:43,713 Here, have some. 1113 00:59:43,715 --> 00:59:46,749 Would you like a bottle of wine to start? 1114 00:59:46,751 --> 00:59:48,418 We don't drink. 1115 00:59:48,420 --> 00:59:50,155 Awesome, awesome. 1116 00:59:54,793 --> 00:59:57,494 And I think you dropped this. 1117 00:59:57,496 --> 01:00:00,396 Or do you just expect everyone to pick up after you? 1118 01:00:00,398 --> 01:00:02,701 Well that is your job, isn't it? 1119 01:00:06,237 --> 01:00:07,573 Can I get a dessert menu? 1120 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,842 Our carne special is a sausage-type thing, 1121 01:00:11,844 --> 01:00:13,242 it's kinda shaped like a dick. 1122 01:00:13,244 --> 01:00:15,547 Wait, hold on, sorry, one second. 1123 01:00:18,650 --> 01:00:20,316 Sorry, man, gotta go. 1124 01:00:20,318 --> 01:00:21,251 Booty call. 1125 01:00:21,253 --> 01:00:22,622 That's what tits look like. 1126 01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:30,961 Why is all this shit so expensive? 1127 01:00:30,963 --> 01:00:34,398 Well, this is an upscale Italian restaurant. 1128 01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,766 Actually, the menu was posted outside on the door. 1129 01:00:36,768 --> 01:00:38,668 You could've read it before you came in. 1130 01:00:38,670 --> 01:00:41,271 See, the menu is a list of everything you can order. 1131 01:00:41,273 --> 01:00:44,273 If you read, you can see there's no budget section. 1132 01:00:44,275 --> 01:00:47,644 We do have fettuccine alfredo, which is popular. 1133 01:00:47,646 --> 01:00:49,445 Not too expensive. 1134 01:00:49,447 --> 01:00:50,581 Can we share that? 1135 01:00:50,583 --> 01:00:52,349 Oh, let's do that. 1136 01:00:52,351 --> 01:00:53,650 Really? 1137 01:00:53,652 --> 01:00:55,922 Yeah, you can share it. 1138 01:00:58,657 --> 01:01:02,525 Arthur, we don't use language like that here. 1139 01:01:02,527 --> 01:01:03,626 We don't say "yeah," 1140 01:01:03,628 --> 01:01:05,565 we say, "absolutely." 1141 01:01:06,498 --> 01:01:08,768 Absolutely, sir. 1142 01:01:12,704 --> 01:01:13,537 Jeremy? 1143 01:01:13,539 --> 01:01:14,670 Yes, Andy? 1144 01:01:14,672 --> 01:01:15,606 What's going on? 1145 01:01:15,608 --> 01:01:16,907 What do you mean, Andy? 1146 01:01:16,909 --> 01:01:18,641 You guys are being assholes. 1147 01:01:18,643 --> 01:01:20,010 Huh. 1148 01:01:20,012 --> 01:01:21,447 Well then I guess we'll have to try harder, Andy. 1149 01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:23,713 What? 1150 01:01:23,715 --> 01:01:25,249 Dude, catch! 1151 01:01:26,851 --> 01:01:28,487 What is going on here?! 1152 01:01:32,023 --> 01:01:33,456 Are you there, Exses? 1153 01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:34,693 It's me, Andy. 1154 01:01:36,929 --> 01:01:39,630 The restaurant is falling apart. 1155 01:01:39,632 --> 01:01:40,963 Do something! 1156 01:01:40,965 --> 01:01:44,767 I need all my strength for the possession. 1157 01:01:44,769 --> 01:01:46,570 You remember our deal. 1158 01:01:46,572 --> 01:01:48,771 If the restaurant goes down, that's it. 1159 01:01:48,773 --> 01:01:50,909 You don't help me, I don't help you. 1160 01:01:54,545 --> 01:01:56,481 I'm so sorry about that, again, guys. 1161 01:01:57,750 --> 01:01:59,983 Dinner's on the house tonight, okay? 1162 01:01:59,985 --> 01:02:00,820 Thank you. 1163 01:02:02,021 --> 01:02:03,823 I'll be right back with your desserts. 1164 01:02:09,061 --> 01:02:10,661 That's my boy, Richard. 1165 01:02:10,663 --> 01:02:12,465 He'll suck your cock for a Benjamin. 1166 01:02:14,967 --> 01:02:15,802 Not bad. 1167 01:02:16,969 --> 01:02:19,068 Would you like to try some of mine? 1168 01:02:19,070 --> 01:02:21,873 Honey, please be quiet and let me eat. 1169 01:02:25,710 --> 01:02:26,943 Welcome back, sir. 1170 01:02:26,945 --> 01:02:28,445 Thanks. 1171 01:02:28,447 --> 01:02:29,746 I'm not here to eat, I just need to look around. 1172 01:02:29,748 --> 01:02:32,652 Sure, just let me get the manager for you. 1173 01:02:33,619 --> 01:02:34,450 Mr. Grady. 1174 01:02:34,452 --> 01:02:35,418 What the fuck is this? 1175 01:02:35,420 --> 01:02:36,452 An apology letter. 1176 01:02:36,454 --> 01:02:37,454 No, I'll tell you what it is. 1177 01:02:37,456 --> 01:02:39,423 It's the worst bribe ever. 1178 01:02:39,425 --> 01:02:41,724 You underestimate what a city employee makes, kid. 1179 01:02:41,726 --> 01:02:43,392 You are right, sir, and you know what, 1180 01:02:43,394 --> 01:02:44,628 there is nothing to see here, 1181 01:02:44,630 --> 01:02:47,700 especially nothing in the basement. 1182 01:02:51,869 --> 01:02:52,771 Okay. 1183 01:02:54,773 --> 01:02:55,575 Okay. 1184 01:02:58,710 --> 01:02:59,809 What'll it be, buddy? 1185 01:02:59,811 --> 01:03:01,010 I'll have a brandy, please. 1186 01:03:01,012 --> 01:03:01,847 Good man. 1187 01:03:05,351 --> 01:03:06,349 Here you go. 1188 01:03:06,351 --> 01:03:06,985 Thank you. 1189 01:03:12,657 --> 01:03:14,990 Is it me or is everybody in this place insane? 1190 01:03:14,992 --> 01:03:16,992 It's the service industry, 1191 01:03:16,994 --> 01:03:18,795 none of us are sane to start with 1192 01:03:18,797 --> 01:03:21,731 and then they went and closed all the nut houses. 1193 01:03:21,733 --> 01:03:23,502 They gotta put us somewhere, right? 1194 01:03:24,869 --> 01:03:26,802 Hey, I actually have 10 on me. 1195 01:03:26,804 --> 01:03:29,005 Is it okay if you just bill me later? 1196 01:03:29,007 --> 01:03:30,440 Sure. 1197 01:03:30,442 --> 01:03:32,909 Just get your address, come by for a visit, 1198 01:03:32,911 --> 01:03:33,976 bring a baseball bat. 1199 01:03:33,978 --> 01:03:35,479 It's all right. 1200 01:03:35,481 --> 01:03:36,912 Dinner tonight is on us. 1201 01:03:36,914 --> 01:03:38,715 Arthur! 1202 01:03:38,717 --> 01:03:40,083 You can't talk to our guests this way. 1203 01:03:40,085 --> 01:03:40,983 Guests? 1204 01:03:40,985 --> 01:03:42,385 I don't see any guests. 1205 01:03:42,387 --> 01:03:43,920 Guests are people you wanna have around. 1206 01:03:43,922 --> 01:03:45,155 These people are so trashy, 1207 01:03:45,157 --> 01:03:46,088 I bet I could say it to their face 1208 01:03:46,090 --> 01:03:48,492 and they wouldn't even care! 1209 01:03:48,494 --> 01:03:49,329 Yeah. 1210 01:03:57,503 --> 01:03:58,504 Can I help you? 1211 01:03:59,737 --> 01:04:01,873 I can take that up whenever you're ready. 1212 01:04:04,643 --> 01:04:06,175 You don't wanna leave a tip for our server? 1213 01:04:06,177 --> 01:04:07,012 No. 1214 01:04:16,989 --> 01:04:18,722 Nice to see you again. 1215 01:04:18,724 --> 01:04:20,190 You too. 1216 01:04:20,192 --> 01:04:21,994 Oh my God, how are you? 1217 01:04:23,862 --> 01:04:25,862 How can I help you, Mr. Grady? 1218 01:04:25,864 --> 01:04:27,496 I need to see the basement, 1219 01:04:27,498 --> 01:04:29,032 where you store the food. 1220 01:04:29,034 --> 01:04:30,534 Of course. 1221 01:04:30,536 --> 01:04:31,371 Just a minute. 1222 01:04:32,905 --> 01:04:35,074 Maybe you'd like to start with the kitchen. 1223 01:04:36,474 --> 01:04:38,874 I have a feeling the kitchen's just fine. 1224 01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:39,711 It is. 1225 01:04:40,746 --> 01:04:42,445 So is the basement. 1226 01:04:42,447 --> 01:04:44,716 That's what I've been trying to tell you, please. 1227 01:04:45,951 --> 01:04:48,019 You know, I don't know if you've seen the freezer yet. 1228 01:04:55,561 --> 01:04:56,726 Everybody in the freezer now! 1229 01:04:56,728 --> 01:04:57,894 - No, no, no, no! - Hey! Hey! 1230 01:04:57,896 --> 01:04:59,595 Let's go! 1231 01:04:59,597 --> 01:05:01,731 You guys, I thought I said no horseplay in here. 1232 01:05:01,733 --> 01:05:02,999 Horseplay? 1233 01:05:03,001 --> 01:05:05,668 I promise, it'll all make a lot more sense 1234 01:05:05,670 --> 01:05:07,137 once you've seen inside the freezer. 1235 01:05:07,139 --> 01:05:08,637 It better. 1236 01:05:08,639 --> 01:05:09,474 Right this way. 1237 01:05:10,576 --> 01:05:11,874 Well? 1238 01:05:11,876 --> 01:05:12,978 Take a look inside. 1239 01:05:19,050 --> 01:05:20,585 You were really brave back there. 1240 01:05:22,086 --> 01:05:22,922 I know. 1241 01:05:29,961 --> 01:05:30,793 Hey! 1242 01:05:30,795 --> 01:05:31,795 Get back! 1243 01:05:37,034 --> 01:05:38,735 Kill me! 1244 01:05:44,076 --> 01:05:45,541 I think he did something. 1245 01:05:45,543 --> 01:05:47,112 Do you think the inspector's okay? 1246 01:05:53,085 --> 01:05:54,517 Need something? 1247 01:05:54,519 --> 01:05:56,952 This is out of control, Richard. 1248 01:05:56,954 --> 01:05:59,722 Well, that's a matter of perspective. 1249 01:05:59,724 --> 01:06:02,060 You know what, I'm calling the cops. 1250 01:06:03,961 --> 01:06:05,628 Go ahead. 1251 01:06:05,630 --> 01:06:06,465 Jer. 1252 01:06:08,967 --> 01:06:10,800 Hello? 1253 01:06:10,802 --> 01:06:12,202 What? 1254 01:06:12,204 --> 01:06:16,039 Mr. Grady, would you like to speak to him? 1255 01:06:16,041 --> 01:06:17,273 You. 1256 01:06:17,275 --> 01:06:19,642 You lead my into a trap, Jeremy, and now I'm dead. 1257 01:06:19,644 --> 01:06:22,679 I'm dead because of you. 1258 01:06:22,681 --> 01:06:24,748 Do yourself a favor and slit your wrists. 1259 01:06:24,750 --> 01:06:26,686 It'll be better than what's coming. 1260 01:06:29,086 --> 01:06:30,586 We have to keep making use his strength, 1261 01:06:30,588 --> 01:06:31,523 it's out only hope. 1262 01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:34,092 Just watch this. 1263 01:06:36,027 --> 01:06:38,295 May I please have some water before I go? 1264 01:06:38,297 --> 01:06:39,896 Absolutely. 1265 01:06:42,099 --> 01:06:44,166 Not enough water for you, bitch? 1266 01:06:44,168 --> 01:06:45,101 No! 1267 01:06:45,103 --> 01:06:45,936 You know what? 1268 01:06:45,938 --> 01:06:46,769 No, no! 1269 01:06:46,771 --> 01:06:47,604 I'm so sorry. 1270 01:06:47,606 --> 01:06:49,039 Let's go! 1271 01:06:50,842 --> 01:06:51,840 I'm so sorry. 1272 01:06:51,842 --> 01:06:53,175 This is unbelievable. 1273 01:06:53,177 --> 01:06:55,514 This is why we don't go out in the city, Carol! 1274 01:07:26,077 --> 01:07:27,713 The staff upstairs 1275 01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:30,883 is trying to drain Exses' energy. 1276 01:07:32,384 --> 01:07:34,186 What they don't realize is 1277 01:07:35,853 --> 01:07:39,956 there's four snacks right here in this room 1278 01:07:39,958 --> 01:07:42,092 and holy shit, is he hungry! 1279 01:07:43,762 --> 01:07:45,128 Okay? 1280 01:07:45,130 --> 01:07:46,795 Is clawing your eye out really necessary? 1281 01:07:46,797 --> 01:07:49,734 Where we're going, we'll be better off without them. 1282 01:08:09,221 --> 01:08:10,253 Do something! 1283 01:08:10,255 --> 01:08:11,287 Do something! 1284 01:08:11,289 --> 01:08:12,121 Like what? 1285 01:08:21,198 --> 01:08:22,264 Where are my guests? 1286 01:08:22,266 --> 01:08:23,266 We had a bad night. 1287 01:08:23,268 --> 01:08:25,268 Not talking to you, turd face. 1288 01:08:25,270 --> 01:08:26,769 Andy? 1289 01:08:26,771 --> 01:08:28,871 Where the hell are my guests? 1290 01:08:32,243 --> 01:08:34,177 What the hell is this? 1291 01:08:34,179 --> 01:08:36,012 Phantom of the fucking Opera? 1292 01:08:36,014 --> 01:08:37,781 He's killing them. 1293 01:08:37,783 --> 01:08:38,618 Yeah. 1294 01:08:39,317 --> 01:08:41,116 That's what he does. 1295 01:08:44,155 --> 01:08:46,255 Whoa! 1296 01:08:46,257 --> 01:08:47,326 Where you going, big guy? 1297 01:08:54,466 --> 01:08:57,069 I think you two here makes any difference. 1298 01:08:59,270 --> 01:09:01,737 Exses will take you either way. 1299 01:09:01,739 --> 01:09:03,138 Good. 1300 01:09:03,140 --> 01:09:05,340 Then I guess you don't mind if I do this. 1301 01:09:12,250 --> 01:09:13,415 Try again. 1302 01:09:13,417 --> 01:09:15,050 I dare you. 1303 01:09:20,992 --> 01:09:22,357 And I thought Jersey was bad. 1304 01:09:22,359 --> 01:09:24,029 Come on, doll, let's beat it. 1305 01:09:42,279 --> 01:09:43,314 Jeremy? 1306 01:09:45,884 --> 01:09:48,884 It's okay, he can't hurt the staff. 1307 01:09:48,886 --> 01:09:50,285 Stay behind me, stay behind me. 1308 01:09:50,287 --> 01:09:52,187 Go! Go! 1309 01:09:52,189 --> 01:09:53,324 Take everyone upstairs. 1310 01:09:58,195 --> 01:10:00,763 It's 11:55. 1311 01:10:00,765 --> 01:10:03,933 In five minutes, it won't matter where you work 1312 01:10:03,935 --> 01:10:05,371 or where you are. 1313 01:10:13,110 --> 01:10:14,846 Michael, it's almost midnight. 1314 01:10:16,180 --> 01:10:17,415 I'm going into his world. 1315 01:10:19,350 --> 01:10:20,183 How? 1316 01:10:20,185 --> 01:10:21,116 Hold this. 1317 01:10:21,118 --> 01:10:22,218 No, no, Michael, you can't. 1318 01:10:22,220 --> 01:10:23,119 Stand back. 1319 01:10:27,559 --> 01:10:29,459 Andy, make him stop! 1320 01:10:57,021 --> 01:10:57,954 What do you think? 1321 01:10:57,956 --> 01:10:59,222 Get off of me! 1322 01:11:56,213 --> 01:11:57,045 Jeremy! 1323 01:11:57,047 --> 01:11:58,481 It's me, open up! 1324 01:11:58,483 --> 01:12:01,183 No, it's past midnight, you're not Michael anymore. 1325 01:12:01,185 --> 01:12:03,454 Fine, I'll leave you in there alone. 1326 01:12:06,224 --> 01:12:07,257 God 1327 01:12:07,259 --> 01:12:10,460 damn. 1328 01:12:12,329 --> 01:12:14,129 Are we fucked? 1329 01:12:14,131 --> 01:12:14,966 Not yet. 1330 01:12:16,268 --> 01:12:18,534 Exses has one foot in this world and one in ours. 1331 01:12:18,536 --> 01:12:20,637 If we destroy his body here then... 1332 01:12:20,639 --> 01:12:23,309 Then you get your body back in our world. 1333 01:12:24,475 --> 01:12:25,510 Okay. 1334 01:12:31,315 --> 01:12:32,150 Oh, shit! 1335 01:12:36,253 --> 01:12:40,223 You humans are too focused on flesh and blood. 1336 01:12:40,225 --> 01:12:43,092 Flesh is cheap. 1337 01:12:53,371 --> 01:12:54,704 Oh. 1338 01:12:54,706 --> 01:12:56,141 That sucked. 1339 01:12:59,511 --> 01:13:01,580 We have to get to the manager's office. 1340 01:13:04,481 --> 01:13:06,081 Uh huh. 1341 01:13:06,083 --> 01:13:08,183 It's pretty heavy up there. 1342 01:13:08,185 --> 01:13:09,020 You good to go? 1343 01:13:12,157 --> 01:13:12,992 Yeah. 1344 01:13:14,426 --> 01:13:15,461 Cool. 1345 01:13:18,095 --> 01:13:19,530 Why are you so clean? 1346 01:13:21,099 --> 01:13:24,099 I believe this special occasion 1347 01:13:24,101 --> 01:13:25,468 calls for a drink. 1348 01:13:25,470 --> 01:13:27,373 What will it be, sir? 1349 01:13:28,539 --> 01:13:33,112 You know what would really, really hit the spot? 1350 01:14:02,707 --> 01:14:05,141 You promised not to hurt my staff. 1351 01:14:05,143 --> 01:14:06,476 The terms of our contract 1352 01:14:06,478 --> 01:14:08,480 have been settled, Andy. 1353 01:14:10,047 --> 01:14:12,214 But my restaurant is in ruins! 1354 01:14:12,216 --> 01:14:14,049 Who cares? 1355 01:14:14,051 --> 01:14:17,322 That mirror, I want it broken, take it down. 1356 01:14:18,189 --> 01:14:19,024 I'd rather not. 1357 01:14:33,505 --> 01:14:35,541 Corey, help me move this table! 1358 01:14:37,609 --> 01:14:39,375 Why does he want the mirror broken? 1359 01:14:39,377 --> 01:14:40,576 I don't care why! 1360 01:14:40,578 --> 01:14:42,214 I don't want a period in my head. 1361 01:14:46,618 --> 01:14:48,550 Michael. 1362 01:14:48,552 --> 01:14:49,552 Don't look back. 1363 01:14:52,689 --> 01:14:53,522 You heard that, right? 1364 01:14:53,524 --> 01:14:54,592 Stay with me. 1365 01:15:07,271 --> 01:15:10,772 So that guy at the bar and that thing in the basement 1366 01:15:10,774 --> 01:15:12,575 are the same thing now? 1367 01:15:12,577 --> 01:15:13,509 Yeah. 1368 01:15:13,511 --> 01:15:14,643 How do we kill it? 1369 01:15:14,645 --> 01:15:16,812 No, what if Michael's still in there? 1370 01:15:16,814 --> 01:15:19,449 We need to perform and exorcism or something. 1371 01:15:19,451 --> 01:15:20,583 We can't! 1372 01:15:20,585 --> 01:15:21,718 Says who? 1373 01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:23,756 Is there a single Christian at this entire table? 1374 01:15:24,788 --> 01:15:26,522 Right. 1375 01:15:26,524 --> 01:15:28,558 We can't just force a demon out without some authority. 1376 01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:29,461 We don't got shit. 1377 01:15:51,582 --> 01:15:54,150 Exses is stronger than us 1378 01:15:54,152 --> 01:15:56,318 but he's a cocky motherfucker. 1379 01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:57,622 We can outsmart him. 1380 01:15:59,591 --> 01:16:01,290 Forget about the mirrors. 1381 01:16:01,292 --> 01:16:02,692 It's just a symbol. 1382 01:16:02,694 --> 01:16:03,893 What do you mean? 1383 01:16:03,895 --> 01:16:05,660 Exses can switch which reality he's in 1384 01:16:05,662 --> 01:16:07,496 like we turn the knob on a radio. 1385 01:16:07,498 --> 01:16:08,731 He communicated through the mirror 1386 01:16:08,733 --> 01:16:10,665 only because he made Andy feel comfortable. 1387 01:16:10,667 --> 01:16:13,568 Same as he contacted Richard through the joint. 1388 01:16:13,570 --> 01:16:15,638 I'm sorry, I'm way behind you on this. 1389 01:16:15,640 --> 01:16:17,142 You're so limited, man. 1390 01:16:18,576 --> 01:16:21,113 You gave up wait too easy on that Karen chick. 1391 01:16:22,313 --> 01:16:23,849 You gotta fight for what you want, man. 1392 01:16:24,815 --> 01:16:26,549 Right. 1393 01:16:26,551 --> 01:16:28,151 You know everything about me. 1394 01:16:28,153 --> 01:16:28,787 Mhmm. 1395 01:16:30,688 --> 01:16:31,722 Am I dead? 1396 01:16:33,591 --> 01:16:36,659 I sometimes think that I died a long time ago 1397 01:16:36,661 --> 01:16:38,460 and that I'm now just reliving the same shitty day 1398 01:16:38,462 --> 01:16:39,597 over and over again. 1399 01:16:40,664 --> 01:16:42,697 Are you scared now? 1400 01:16:42,699 --> 01:16:44,299 Yeah, very. 1401 01:16:44,301 --> 01:16:45,436 Then you're not dead. 1402 01:16:49,306 --> 01:16:50,576 Okay. 1403 01:16:52,644 --> 01:16:53,479 Found it. 1404 01:16:54,811 --> 01:16:57,716 This is all that remains of Exses' original body. 1405 01:16:59,516 --> 01:17:01,217 He keeps it here? 1406 01:17:01,219 --> 01:17:02,552 Not exactly. 1407 01:17:02,554 --> 01:17:03,553 Andy does. 1408 01:17:03,555 --> 01:17:06,325 He found it one day when he was walking his dog. 1409 01:17:13,264 --> 01:17:14,763 Andy keeps the relic in this world, 1410 01:17:14,765 --> 01:17:17,666 so it has to be here too, in Exses' world. 1411 01:17:17,668 --> 01:17:19,835 Think of it like when you stand in front of two mirrors. 1412 01:17:19,837 --> 01:17:22,741 There's infinite copies of yourself stretched out forever. 1413 01:17:24,274 --> 01:17:25,676 If you take one of them out, 1414 01:17:26,944 --> 01:17:28,246 you take them all out. 1415 01:17:29,646 --> 01:17:32,781 Unless they explode all over you. 1416 01:17:32,783 --> 01:17:33,918 Have a little faith, man. 1417 01:17:38,222 --> 01:17:39,688 Wanna do the honors? 1418 01:17:39,690 --> 01:17:40,525 Yes. 1419 01:17:43,994 --> 01:17:44,860 Go! 1420 01:17:44,862 --> 01:17:45,764 Destroy it! 1421 01:18:16,828 --> 01:18:19,531 You are all my property now. 1422 01:18:21,765 --> 01:18:23,234 Oh no, Jenny! 1423 01:18:24,836 --> 01:18:25,804 Let them go. 1424 01:18:27,271 --> 01:18:30,339 Exses, do what you want with me. 1425 01:18:30,341 --> 01:18:31,343 Let them go! 1426 01:18:46,024 --> 01:18:47,793 I don't wish to kill you, Jeremy. 1427 01:18:48,893 --> 01:18:50,895 I only cut down the strong. 1428 01:18:51,996 --> 01:18:54,498 You, Jeremy, are weak. 1429 01:18:55,832 --> 01:18:57,768 A natural born slave. 1430 01:18:58,869 --> 01:19:01,006 The rest of you losers have a choice. 1431 01:19:02,372 --> 01:19:04,275 I will be served and I will be fed. 1432 01:19:05,443 --> 01:19:08,910 Whether you serve me or are fed to me, 1433 01:19:08,912 --> 01:19:09,914 that's up to you. 1434 01:19:10,847 --> 01:19:12,451 Exses is lord. 1435 01:19:13,917 --> 01:19:14,920 Say it, boy! 1436 01:19:18,021 --> 01:19:20,559 Say it of your own free will. 1437 01:19:22,359 --> 01:19:24,496 Exses is lord! 1438 01:19:27,765 --> 01:19:28,998 Exses... 1439 01:19:31,836 --> 01:19:32,934 is... 1440 01:19:40,645 --> 01:19:41,477 No! 1441 01:20:03,501 --> 01:20:04,666 Michael! 1442 01:20:04,668 --> 01:20:05,701 Oh my God! 1443 01:20:05,703 --> 01:20:07,905 Is it, who is it, you in there, or the demon? 1444 01:20:22,587 --> 01:20:23,422 Jeremy! 1445 01:20:28,426 --> 01:20:29,061 Come on! 1446 01:20:30,828 --> 01:20:32,931 Who stabbed me? 1447 01:20:37,033 --> 01:20:39,034 I'm so sorry about the mirror, dude. 1448 01:20:39,036 --> 01:20:41,469 I thought you were going to be trapped in Mordor forever. 1449 01:20:41,471 --> 01:20:42,873 It's okay, don't worry. 1450 01:20:45,009 --> 01:20:45,810 Forget about it. 1451 01:20:51,114 --> 01:20:52,947 What happened? 1452 01:20:52,949 --> 01:20:53,751 Did we win? 1453 01:20:54,952 --> 01:20:55,753 The kid? 1454 01:20:57,154 --> 01:20:58,556 He saved our asses. 1455 01:21:00,524 --> 01:21:01,792 I'm calling the police. 1456 01:21:10,734 --> 01:21:11,802 Everybody go. 1457 01:21:17,641 --> 01:21:18,909 This is all my fault. 1458 01:21:20,578 --> 01:21:21,880 You're damn right it is. 1459 01:21:41,932 --> 01:21:43,033 I'm sorry. 1460 01:21:44,234 --> 01:21:45,903 I quit. 1461 01:23:14,725 --> 01:23:16,127 Jeremy. 1462 01:23:20,767 --> 01:23:25,767 Subtitles by explosiveskull 95496

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