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1
00:00:18,959 --> 00:00:21,834
Oh, it's lovely.
2
00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:24,667
Just lovely.
3
00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:27,125
A lot of girls cry when they see
themselves in a wedding dress.
4
00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:29,834
Every little girl's dream.
5
00:00:30,125 --> 00:00:31,875
Or nightmare, you know.
6
00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:33,166
If you're fat.
7
00:00:38,041 --> 00:00:40,792
Hello?
Do you do girls?
8
00:00:43,375 --> 00:00:47,166
It says here yes
to anal, GFE, school uniform.
9
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:50,542
No to scat, stags
and water sports.
10
00:00:50,542 --> 00:00:53,834
Got nothing against girls.
OK. What's the setup?
11
00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:57,542
Threesome.
The client wants two girls.
Who's the other one?
12
00:00:57,542 --> 00:01:00,166
I haven't booked one yet.
What about Rachel?
13
00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:01,333
No, she's in Marbella.
14
00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:03,000
Tanya?
She's going to see Les Mis.
15
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,959
Again? How many times is that?
16
00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:08,333
Who knows? It's a sickness.
17
00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:09,917
And what's the client like
that one of us isn't enough?
18
00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:12,834
It's Ashok.
19
00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:16,250
Ashok?
20
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,208
Every-second-Wednesday-
since-I-started Ashok?
21
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,250
The very same.
22
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:22,875
Sometimes two heads
are better than one.
23
00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:28,458
I'll find someone
and call you back.
24
00:01:33,709 --> 00:01:35,417
No, beautiful.
Stunning.
25
00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:39,458
Ta-da!
26
00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:44,250
It's not that I don't like
going down on girls.
27
00:01:46,625 --> 00:01:50,291
It's just that I never really
enjoy going out with them.
28
00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:31,583
Ooh!
29
00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:33,250
Right. You're supposed to be
helping me find a suit.
30
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:35,291
I know. Can you do this?
I'm trapped.
31
00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:42,250
So? What do you think?
32
00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:43,917
When is it again?
33
00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:44,959
8 March.
34
00:02:44,959 --> 00:02:48,041
1979?
35
00:02:48,041 --> 00:02:50,375
You look like you just
stepped out of my parents'
wedding photos.
36
00:02:50,375 --> 00:02:53,500
Shit.
Sorry.
37
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:56,500
Oh! It's bad luck
to see the bride in her gown
before the big day.
38
00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:00,792
It's all right. She's not the
bride, she's just here to help.
39
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:08,875
I told my best friend that
I'm a prostitute and he hasn't
said a thing.
40
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:13,208
We're both acting
like everything's fine,
but of course it's not.
41
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,542
So the night your sister
had a baby...
42
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:20,208
I can't believe
I'm asking you this.
43
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:23,041
Were you working
as a prostitute?
44
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:35,333
Were you doing it when we were
still seeing each other?
No. No.
45
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:44,917
And do you have, like, a...
What is it? A madam?
46
00:03:44,917 --> 00:03:47,333
An agent, yeah.
She's the filter,
she always knows where I am.
47
00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:49,375
Is it even legal?
48
00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:54,041
For me, yeah.
For her... not exactly.
49
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,500
Why do you do it?
50
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:03,208
Would you believe me
if I said I enjoyed it?
51
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:09,250
You know I like sex.
52
00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:18,875
So what is it
you're doing tonight?
53
00:04:18,875 --> 00:04:22,583
It's... a threesome. Me and
another girl from the agency.
54
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:25,542
Who's the...?
It's Ashok. He's lovely.
55
00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:29,375
"Lovely."
Yeah, he's lovely.
56
00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:32,250
He's my oldest client.
57
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:33,875
He's like my friend.
58
00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:40,208
How'd you even get into it?
59
00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:46,709
Hello?
60
00:04:46,709 --> 00:04:49,458
It's all arranged.
You'll be working with Naomi.
61
00:04:49,458 --> 00:04:52,250
Who's Naomi?
She's new.
62
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,750
I poached her from
Brompton Escorts last week,
so she's flying off the shelves.
63
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:59,750
If you know what I mean.
Anyway, the room is booked
from eight.
64
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:02,750
So you two can
get to know each other.
And it's that hotel close to--
65
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,417
...Ashok's office.
I know where it is.
66
00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:06,458
Well, he'll be there by nine.
67
00:05:06,458 --> 00:05:09,417
Lucky boy. I'm sending him
the crème de la crème.
68
00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:22,125
Do you wanna go and
look at some more suits?
69
00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:23,583
I should go.
70
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,750
Here, how much...?
No, it's all right, I'll pay.
71
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,750
No, it's all right.
I've got it.
No, it's fine.
72
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:40,250
See you later.
73
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,959
Yeah, I'll give you a call.
74
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:02,792
How'd you even
get into it?
75
00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:05,500
A couple of years ago
I met a man in a bar.
76
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,792
He was a perfect
one-night stand -
77
00:06:07,792 --> 00:06:12,375
funny, charming, great in bed,
no expectations.
78
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,333
And he even gave me
my cab fare home.
79
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:22,250
Or so I thought.
80
00:06:30,542 --> 00:06:34,834
And just like that,
without realizing,
I'd been paid for sex.
81
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:43,083
Would I have taken the money
if it'd been offered up front?
82
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,583
Maybe.
83
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,291
Don't really know.
84
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,583
Either way, I did take it.
85
00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:54,667
And I'm still taking it.
86
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:57,875
Today, a threesome
with another escort.
87
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:02,291
I'm hardly a girl's girl,
but I will go gay for pay.
88
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,583
Hello.
89
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,875
So... Ashok.
90
00:07:21,417 --> 00:07:25,375
What's he like?
He's sweet.
91
00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:27,542
Quite handsome.
92
00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:30,375
Athletic, clever.
93
00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:32,041
Kind of geeky.
94
00:07:32,041 --> 00:07:35,291
Gentle, very polite,
and he always smells nice.
95
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:42,583
I was actually wondering whether
he prefers anal or vanilla.
96
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,750
So what's he into?
97
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,417
Naughty schoolgirls?
98
00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:52,458
Nurse and matron?
99
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:55,083
Mother superior and novice nun?
100
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:59,792
Well, this is his first
threesome - I think -
so maybe just generic stuff.
101
00:07:59,792 --> 00:08:01,625
Girls soaping
each other's breasts.
102
00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:04,166
Holiday Inn porn.
103
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:11,333
Or maybe... we should
make something up.
104
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:14,375
Like what?
105
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,750
How about good cop, bad cop?
106
00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:19,625
Ah.
107
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:22,166
I'll put you down
for good cop, then.
108
00:08:52,625 --> 00:08:55,500
This is all quite fun.
109
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,166
You know - what normal girls do.
110
00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:01,333
Oh, I forgot to ask -
do you, um, shave or wax?
111
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,667
Wax.
112
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,500
Good. I get stubble rash.
113
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:10,417
Hey.
114
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:13,083
Don't look so scared.
115
00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:25,750
Just getting into character.
116
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:31,542
Hello.
117
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:26,792
One, two, three...
118
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:39,583
Oh. Ohh. Ohhh.
119
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,792
Ohh... oh...
120
00:10:46,792 --> 00:10:51,208
Are we nearly there
yet? I'm getting wanker's claw.
121
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:51,625
You're close.
122
00:10:54,417 --> 00:10:56,834
Ohh.
123
00:10:56,834 --> 00:11:00,125
I need a pee.
Can you take over?
124
00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:08,458
Ohh...
125
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:09,834
Uhh!
126
00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:20,625
Oh, my God!
127
00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:31,583
You're quite the athlete.
128
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:34,625
You're quite flexible yourself.
Thanks.
129
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:37,083
I wish I could say
it was down to yoga.
130
00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:42,542
What?
131
00:11:42,792 --> 00:11:46,458
You two, debriefing.
132
00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:51,166
But I suppose put two nurses
or two teachers or whatever
together in a room
133
00:11:51,166 --> 00:11:53,875
and they're gonna
talk about work.
134
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:55,834
Glad you think of us
as a caring profession.
135
00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:59,667
I do, though.
136
00:11:59,917 --> 00:12:01,709
I read that book
you gave me.
137
00:12:01,709 --> 00:12:02,875
And?
138
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:06,750
384 pages of misery,
139
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:09,917
in the world's
smallest typeface.
140
00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:12,166
But beautiful.
141
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,333
Really beautiful.
I cried like a girl.
142
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:20,917
What time is it?
I should get home.
143
00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:24,000
Uh... it's quarter to ten.
144
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,333
Is that all?
I didn't last long.
145
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:32,250
Oh, don't worry. A job shared
is usually a job halved.
146
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:36,750
So for you two that means half
the work for double the money.
147
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:39,959
I'm sorry - are you auditing us?
148
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:42,208
No!
Good.
149
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:46,417
Thank you
for a wonderful evening.
150
00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:52,959
And thank you.
151
00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:54,792
You're welcome.
152
00:12:54,792 --> 00:12:57,750
The pleasure was half mine.
153
00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:12,875
That was fun.
154
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,667
Would you, um...
155
00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:20,792
like to hang out sometime?
156
00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:25,917
Does it involve shagging?
No.
157
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:28,625
Does it involve
eating Haagen-Dazs
and watching Pretty Woman?
158
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:29,750
Christ, no.
159
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:30,959
Then yes.
160
00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:33,667
What's your number?
161
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,917
No, fuck that.
162
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,792
What's your name?
163
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,917
Hannah.
164
00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:45,583
What's yours?
165
00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:48,333
Naomi.
166
00:14:15,709 --> 00:14:16,834
Hello?
167
00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:20,041
Hello. What are you up to now?
168
00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:34,166
Best present
a client ever gave you.
169
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,834
Hm.
170
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,041
MINI Convertible.
171
00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:41,041
Worst present
a client ever gave you.
172
00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:42,250
The hotel sewing kit.
173
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:45,709
What?
Can you believe that?
174
00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:59,166
Just 'cause it's not ringing
doesn't mean it's broken.
175
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,500
Boyfriend?
176
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,583
Friend. He's not taking it
that brilliantly,
177
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:07,709
the whole "I'm not really
a legal secretary" thing.
178
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,542
Mm. I still find it harder
telling girls. They might give
you a feminist polemic,
179
00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:16,208
but you know what they're really
thinking is you're gonna steal
their boyfriend.
180
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,917
Girls think that
about me anyway.
Me too.
181
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,792
Um, half the time
they're right.
182
00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:42,208
I've never really got the whole
female-friendship thing.
183
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:46,250
But with Naomi we can talk
about men and sex and work,
184
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:49,709
because for us
they're all the same thing.
185
00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:59,041
I go in there
to get my cervix scraped...
186
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,250
I wish you wouldn't say
"scraped."
187
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,583
...and you walk out
with a bloody party bag.
188
00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:06,750
It wasn't much of a party bag.
There's no fairy cakes,
no party hats, just...
189
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:09,000
balloons.
190
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,166
Did you leave them
with anything?
191
00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:13,125
They had a lovely speculum
and swab set I had my eye on,
192
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:14,959
but in the end
I just took the condoms.
193
00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:17,458
And some pens.
194
00:16:17,458 --> 00:16:19,917
Come on. Let's go, before you
make me take them back.
195
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:45,375
I've got
a new client for you.
196
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:49,291
28, works for an auction house.
Sounds like a Pathé newsreel.
197
00:16:49,291 --> 00:16:52,041
Quite junior now,
but good prospects.
198
00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:54,458
Well, so he tells me.
199
00:16:54,458 --> 00:16:57,959
I'm shagging him, Stephanie,
not settling down with him.
200
00:16:58,208 --> 00:17:00,875
When is it?
Next Wednesday.
201
00:17:01,125 --> 00:17:02,166
Right. Well, it depends.
202
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:05,208
Wednesday's my regular
with Ashok.
203
00:17:05,208 --> 00:17:07,709
Actually,
Ashok's with Naomi this week.
204
00:17:07,709 --> 00:17:08,959
What?
205
00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:12,208
Ashok is with Naomi this week.
206
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,667
So can you
do the auctioneer or not?
207
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:15,792
Not.
208
00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,166
Fine.
209
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:20,291
Call me
when you've learned to share.
210
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,500
The end of the affair was
written from the beginning.
211
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:02,500
He's a man who pays women
for sex. I'm the whore.
212
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,250
At some point his tastes
were bound to change.
213
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:21,375
So why am I so upset?
214
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:24,291
Because who can I call
to say I had a bad day at work?
215
00:18:36,792 --> 00:18:38,875
Hi.
216
00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:39,583
Hi.
217
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:46,041
How are you?
218
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,250
I'm good, yeah.
219
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,000
How are you?
220
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,917
Yeah, good.
221
00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:54,125
Good.
222
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:55,250
Actually, I'm shit.
223
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:58,625
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the matter?
224
00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:06,083
I lent someone a book
and I don't think
I'm gonna get it back.
225
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:08,959
I wish I had your problems.
226
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:15,291
Will you come round?
227
00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:34,291
You looked good
in that wedding dress.
228
00:19:34,291 --> 00:19:36,458
Can't remember if I said that.
229
00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:38,500
I don't think I did.
230
00:19:40,458 --> 00:19:42,458
Did you find a suit?
231
00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:44,291
No.
232
00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:49,291
They were all as shit as 1979.
233
00:19:49,291 --> 00:19:51,125
So I'm gonna wear a kilt.
234
00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:53,625
Since when
were you Scottish?
235
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,208
My mum's granddad
or something.
236
00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:57,458
I love that
about posh English.
237
00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:59,291
Always trying to pass themselves
off as Scottish or Welsh.
238
00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:01,333
You've never even
been to Scotland.
239
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,291
Hellish place.
240
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,417
I've missed you.
241
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:18,375
I missed you too.
242
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:26,166
While you were off
playing with Fanny.
243
00:20:29,709 --> 00:20:34,583
I'm sorry about that.
The other day.
244
00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:40,208
It's just something huge
about you I didn't know.
245
00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:43,834
You're my best mate.
246
00:20:43,834 --> 00:20:46,208
You're the only girl I've
shagged who still likes me.
247
00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:50,333
Except for Vanessa.
248
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,875
Yeah. Except for Vanessa.
249
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:59,792
We go out and...
250
00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:06,542
we have dinner and we get pissed
and we go running and we used to
sleep together.
251
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:09,250
Am I ever gonna be able to
talk to you about this?
252
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:12,542
I dunno. Try.
253
00:21:12,542 --> 00:21:16,625
Even if I act
like a cock about it,
I still want you to try.
254
00:21:20,417 --> 00:21:22,458
I need to ask you something.
255
00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:25,709
It's a favor.
You don't have to do it
if you don't wanna do it.
256
00:21:25,709 --> 00:21:27,208
You're not gonna ask me
to have sex with you
and Vanessa, are you?
257
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:28,959
What? No.
258
00:21:29,208 --> 00:21:32,291
Phew.
259
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,625
Others may pay hundreds for you
260
00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:39,834
but I had you when all it took
was half a lager and a couple of
Marlboro Lights.
261
00:21:45,417 --> 00:21:48,583
Will you be my best man?
262
00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:55,458
I slept with someone last night
and now he won't leave.
263
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:57,500
I don't normally
do this kind of thing.
264
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,834
Can't you just tell him
his time is up?
265
00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:01,792
No, you idiot. I didn't
charge him. That's the problem.
266
00:22:01,792 --> 00:22:04,166
You're not really
a legal secretary, are you?
267
00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:06,125
Ooh...!
268
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:08,250
Hi.
Hi.
269
00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:10,750
Look, just go.
270
00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:12,458
Some girls are too sensitive
for this kind of work.
271
00:22:12,458 --> 00:22:14,750
You need to get
some perspective, Han.
272
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,667
See how normal people live.
Normal people?
273
00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:18,250
You know what I mean.
That sounds dead exciting.
274
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:19,250
Can't you just take a break?
275
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,458
Did you hear me?
I said go.
19704
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