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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:25,792 I love London. 2 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:29,917 I love its rudeness, its lack of community, its impatience. 3 00:00:30,166 --> 00:00:31,875 I even love its weather. 4 00:00:34,291 --> 00:00:38,792 But most of all I love the anonymity. 5 00:00:38,792 --> 00:00:43,041 The first thing you should know about me is that I'm a whore. 6 00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:50,250 In a world of children in bikinis and grandmothers in fuck-me boots, 7 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,500 the surest way to tell a prostitute 8 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:55,375 is to look for the woman in the designer suit. 9 00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:57,333 Locate the lifts. Glide past reception. 10 00:00:57,333 --> 00:01:00,667 Look like you know where you're going. 11 00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,041 Walk quickly. Don't attract too much attention. 12 00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:05,542 Be fabulous but forgettable. 13 00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:08,375 You should also know that this isn't the real me. 14 00:01:58,125 --> 00:02:00,291 Morning. 15 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:06,583 Escort, hooker, prostitute, whore - 16 00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:10,166 I don't mind what you call me. That's just semantics. 17 00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:19,000 There are as many different kinds of working girls as there are kinds of people, 18 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:22,083 so you can't generalize. 19 00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,667 But I can tell you about me. 20 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:28,166 I should say up front that I wasn't abused by a relative, 21 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:30,417 I've got no children to support, 22 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:33,667 and I've never been addicted to anything. 23 00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:36,250 Except for maybe the fourth season of The West Wing, 24 00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:38,166 but... you know. 25 00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,667 I'm very high class. 26 00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:46,125 Which means I charge by the hour, and I charge a lot. 27 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,291 So why do I do it? 28 00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:52,709 Well, I love sex and I love money. 29 00:02:52,709 --> 00:02:56,125 And I know you don't believe I enjoy the sex, but I do. 30 00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:58,458 Plus I'm fundamentally lazy. 31 00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:01,291 What I really like is being my own boss. 32 00:03:01,291 --> 00:03:03,625 Well, pretty much my own boss. 33 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:06,375 Obviously I have an agent. She vets all my clients. 34 00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:10,125 Two lovely new gentlemen for you today. 35 00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:13,000 OK. An out call for this evening and an in call this afternoon. 36 00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:15,458 When? Two o'clock. 37 00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:17,208 It's half one now. 38 00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:19,542 Is it? 39 00:03:19,542 --> 00:03:22,709 Yes. You know I need at least an hour's notice. 40 00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:26,625 Well, shit, shower and shave, sweetheart. He's on his way over now. 41 00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:52,166 I have certain rules. Rule one - keep life and job separate. 42 00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,166 Personal. Work. 43 00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:56,333 Private. 44 00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,583 Professional. 45 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:05,333 Hannah. Belle. And never the twain shall meet. 46 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,625 Rule number two - stay in control. 47 00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:16,208 They sit down, I stand up. Get the money first. 48 00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:23,250 Yeah, I'll call after. 49 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:26,792 No problem. All right, bye. 50 00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:29,709 Rule three - safety. Always check in with the agency. 51 00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:32,417 So if I say "no problemo" instead of "no problem," 52 00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:35,041 there's a problem. 53 00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:39,583 Everything you need's in here. 54 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:47,208 Rule four - hygiene. Mine and his. 55 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,417 I always use men's deodorant. 56 00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:56,000 I never wear perfume. 57 00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:00,417 A professional never lets her client leave smelling of woman. 58 00:05:04,917 --> 00:05:08,333 Convince them that you're wet and you're halfway there. 59 00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,417 Goes without saying. 60 00:05:12,417 --> 00:05:15,750 And last but definitely not least, 61 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:19,417 work out what the client wants as fast as you can, 62 00:05:19,417 --> 00:05:21,750 and give it to him. 63 00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:28,917 Come with me. 64 00:05:36,542 --> 00:05:39,333 Tell me something you fantasize about. 65 00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:41,625 What do you mean? 66 00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:45,125 Something that turns you on. 67 00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:47,959 This. 68 00:05:47,959 --> 00:05:52,041 Where are we doing this? Where would you like to fuck me? 69 00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:53,959 Oh! 70 00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:58,375 Outside? 71 00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:00,333 Oh, in an alleyway? 72 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:03,166 In a dirty alley? 73 00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:06,250 Um... OK. 74 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,500 On a beach? 75 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,208 Um... 76 00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:12,166 In a field? 77 00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:14,458 On a farm? 78 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,667 Ah. 79 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,834 A field on the farm. I'm a country girl. 80 00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:25,166 You're a farmer or a stable boy that seduced me. 81 00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:28,709 Ohh! Oh! 82 00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:31,291 Can you see the stables? Yeah, course I can. 83 00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:33,834 Can you smell the horses? 84 00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,500 I can smell the horses. They're making noises in their stalls. 85 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:38,542 They're getting very excited. Ohh! 86 00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:40,250 Horses have giant cocks, don't they? 87 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,583 Oh, yes. Yes, they do. 88 00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:44,667 Maybe you should take me to the stable. 89 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:46,750 Don't fuck the horse! 90 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,667 No, I'm only bringing it close. It's too big. 91 00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,500 Ohh! What's it doing? The horse? 92 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,417 A stallion. It's out of control. 93 00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:58,750 It's far too big. 94 00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,291 Sounds like it's gonna break the stall door. 95 00:07:00,542 --> 00:07:02,333 They're powerful horses! 96 00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:06,458 Very... powerful... horse. 97 00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:39,166 I tell everyone I'm a legal secretary for one of those huge international law firms. 98 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,792 You know, the ones that need staff at night to meet contract deadlines. 99 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:46,125 It's so boring, no one ever asks me about it. 100 00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:49,625 I can't even tell my best friend Ben what I do for a living. 101 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:52,750 Best custard tart in London, that. 102 00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:55,625 See the crust? That's not a machine, that's handmade. 103 00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:56,667 I thought Vanessa had you on a diet. 104 00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,625 She does. I'm living on fucking tofu. 105 00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:01,000 But I'm eating leftovers at the club. 106 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:03,417 You've been much fatter than this. I never put you on a diet. 107 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:05,583 Yeah, but in every other way you were the worst girlfriend in the world. 108 00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,333 What? Don't mess about. 109 00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:10,083 You never! Yeah, I did. 110 00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:12,500 Look at the size of your chops. It's really nice. 111 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,583 Give it. Yes, I do. 112 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:23,458 She walks in on both... No! I can't believe it! 113 00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:28,000 Poor you! 114 00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:39,542 Do you fancy a game of Spoilt Little Rich Girl? 115 00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:40,834 We haven't done that in a while. 116 00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:43,625 All right. That one. That one. 117 00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:50,834 Well, I think this is lovely. 118 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:53,625 Shame the pool's so small, though. 119 00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:56,542 We're not making a decision based on pool size, Benjamin. 120 00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,792 Bit shit, though. 121 00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:01,834 Let's go on in. 122 00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:08,667 Oh, lush! This is perfect. 123 00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:14,709 Beautiful fireplace. 124 00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:17,834 Oh, yeah. Great. 125 00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:21,041 Barrister, QC. No way. Stockbroker. 126 00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:24,667 It's actually owned by a retired barrister who wants to move out of London. 127 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,750 He still loves the property. 128 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:29,542 Sash windows. 129 00:09:29,542 --> 00:09:31,709 Yeah, I love a sash. Love it. 130 00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:33,834 Why don't you try out the acoustics? 131 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,583 She trained in Vienna. Plays the most incredible Chopin. 132 00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,583 That's terribly rude, Benjamin. 133 00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:40,667 Plays like an angel. 134 00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,291 Thanks very much. Goodbye. 135 00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,750 Chopin? You cunt. 136 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,875 How does anyone ever afford to buy a house in London? 137 00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:15,750 One day. It's just about making the money. 138 00:10:19,959 --> 00:10:23,750 It's a nice hotel. Not big enough for an Arab, 139 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,917 not expensive enough for an American, 140 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,792 not trendy enough for a young professional. 141 00:10:27,792 --> 00:10:31,542 He'll be over 50, long-term married. 142 00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:32,917 First time with an escort, 143 00:10:32,917 --> 00:10:35,959 so I'm guessing he'll be newly retired, 144 00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:40,667 which has led to a drop in self-esteem and a need to feel powerful and special. 145 00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:42,917 This is why I'm good at my job. 146 00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:47,917 Belle? 147 00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:49,333 Daniel? 148 00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,125 Hi. 149 00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,625 Right, I'll get a drink, shall I? 150 00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:07,333 Why don't you just try lying back? 151 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,458 Sorry. Right. 152 00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:13,625 Oh, God. 153 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,625 Oh, look at that. The hour's all gone. 154 00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:18,959 Don't worry. 155 00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:22,208 No, look, I have to say, I can't afford-- 156 00:11:22,208 --> 00:11:25,333 Don't worry, we'll get there. You just need to relax. 157 00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:29,834 Um... 158 00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:33,125 Why don't you watch me have a play? 159 00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:58,834 That's extraordinarily nice of you, it's just... 160 00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:01,000 I have to, um... 161 00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:15,709 I'm going to have to go, actually. 162 00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:18,166 What, you're not staying here? 163 00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:23,208 No, I can't. I'm not a huge fan of hotels, really. 164 00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:24,875 But you stay if you want. I've already paid online. 165 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,834 On my own? 166 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,125 Well, if you like. 167 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:34,041 I'm just offering so as not to waste, um, anything. 168 00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:38,709 Thank you, though. Thanks for your time. 169 00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:42,041 And I'm sorry... 170 00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:43,083 Belle. 171 00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:51,750 Enchantรฉ. 172 00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:55,875 No, no, I'm sorry. Is-is... is there anything in particular I haven't...? 173 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:59,875 Oh, no, no, no-no-no. It's just... 174 00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:01,542 Uh, good night. 175 00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,542 Well, that's a first. 176 00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:23,917 Thank you. 177 00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:31,667 Just put it there. Thank you. 178 00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:34,834 No one else? 179 00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:36,959 Oh, well, probably for the best. 180 00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:39,917 Can't have anyone getting too hefty. 181 00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:43,083 And, last but not least, Rachel. 182 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:46,083 I make it two three. No, it's two. 183 00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:49,959 Rachel, look at me with my books, my records. 184 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,750 And now look at you, with your roots. 185 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,834 It's two three, sweetheart. 186 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,875 I owe you the 300. 187 00:13:57,875 --> 00:14:00,500 Yes, you do. 188 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,500 Now, ugly mugs. 189 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,375 This gentleman has been all over town with fraudulent money. 190 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:11,625 Shiny notes. He tried it on with one of Bruce's girls. 191 00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:14,166 She said he spoke with an accent. Be Eastern European. 192 00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,000 You can't say that. No, it's racist. 193 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,625 You can't be fucking racist against Eastern Europeans. You can be prejudiced. 194 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,500 I'm fucking prejudiced, then. Right, then we're all agreed. 195 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,000 They are my people! That's funny how you're listed as Swedish on the site, then. 196 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,875 Enough. Right, that's your lot. 197 00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,542 Where's Fiona? 198 00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:33,375 Apparently her bloke saw the photo of her on the internet. 199 00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:36,500 Recognized the underwear he'd bought her for Christmas. 200 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,000 No! Maybe I should get my pictures more pixilated. 201 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,417 No one is getting more pixilated. 202 00:14:41,417 --> 00:14:44,333 Christ, they can barely make out your gender as it is. 203 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,250 I just couldn't bear it if my parents found out. 204 00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:50,250 Ladies, I've got another lot here in a minute. 205 00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:54,417 And keep things free. Holiday season coming up and all that. 206 00:14:57,667 --> 00:15:01,166 Oh, um, my young one from the other night - Daniel. Did you hear anything? 207 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,542 Yes. He rang to book again, actually. 208 00:15:03,542 --> 00:15:07,333 But I gave him someone else. He was more specific this time. 209 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:10,417 What did he want, then? He asked for girl-next-door. 210 00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:14,000 He said jeans, no makeup. Takes all sorts, I suppose. 211 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,875 Who've you given him to? Rachel. 212 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,959 Rachel? ยฃ300-short Rachel? 213 00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:21,959 Are you playing me? 214 00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:24,375 Now stop asking favors. 215 00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:27,625 And if you're not going to eat anything, fuck off. 216 00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:32,792 Hello. Yes, Gabriella is free. Six o'clock is fine. Thank you. 217 00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:38,041 You know, I would order something, but I'd be worried you'd take 40% of my food. 218 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,834 Sorry, I know you were expecting someone else. 219 00:16:03,834 --> 00:16:05,125 Oh, no, no. 220 00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:08,125 Rachel's not well, it's not good. 221 00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:10,792 Right. Well, hooray. 222 00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:13,417 Well, not hooray for-- 223 00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:17,959 So you've got me without the miracle of hair and makeup. 224 00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:19,250 No, no, I like it. 225 00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:25,000 Uh, we can put you in a nice hot shower if you just get-- 226 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,792 Oh, yeah, of course. 227 00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:30,959 Um, um-um-um-um-um-um. 228 00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,750 Why do you wear shoes in your own flat? 229 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:40,500 Sorry? 230 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:45,041 Well, it's just it looks like you're on your way out. 231 00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,041 Oh, are you a fan of feet, then? 232 00:16:49,959 --> 00:16:52,000 Not like that. 233 00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,333 Mm. 234 00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:49,417 That'll be the... 235 00:17:53,041 --> 00:17:56,667 Hello? No problem. No problem. 236 00:17:56,667 --> 00:18:01,333 Yeah, I know. I-I'll call you after. OK, bye. 237 00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:14,208 My girlfriend and I were together for four years, 238 00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:17,208 and it's difficult. 239 00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,208 I mean, I meet other girls. 240 00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:22,250 I like some of them. 241 00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:25,417 But after half an hour or so 242 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:28,959 I just realize how little I appreciated... 243 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,208 When did you find out? 244 00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:36,542 At a party. She was with her chap. 245 00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:42,250 She's nine months. She's like... She's right out. 246 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:44,750 She looked exactly like I always imagined she would. 247 00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,166 My sister's nine months pregnant. She looks like a Volvo. 248 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:53,625 Oh, no, you don't have to do the other one. 249 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,792 No, I do. I have to do both. I have a thing. 250 00:18:56,792 --> 00:19:02,291 I like symmetry, and square numbers and palindromes. 251 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,583 What's a palindrome again? 252 00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:06,291 A word that's spelt the same backwards as forwards, 253 00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:09,333 like "noon," "level..." 254 00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,250 Hannah... Hannah. 255 00:19:14,125 --> 00:19:17,083 You're Hannah? 256 00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:19,291 Yeah. 257 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:29,125 " by the Noisettes) 258 00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,291 Hi, this is Ben. I can't take your call now. 259 00:19:50,291 --> 00:19:52,500 Leave me a message. 260 00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:05,375 I know, Stephanie, and now I'm asking you to give him someone else. 261 00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:07,750 Well, I'm unpredictable like that. 262 00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:12,083 I don't know. Tell him whatever you want. 263 00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:31,750 You're not gonna believe what I found. 264 00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:35,625 I was quite a spoilt little girl when I was younger, 265 00:21:35,625 --> 00:21:39,667 and one of the many lessons I had... 266 00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:44,250 Now, what I wanna know is who wears this - 267 00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:45,792 you or me? 268 00:21:54,625 --> 00:21:58,667 Sometimes it's not the youngest or the richest clients you want, 269 00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:01,458 or the ones you have most in common with. 270 00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:03,458 For me, the perfect partner 271 00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:07,250 is one where I never have to be myself. 272 00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:15,041 Sometimes I get paid to do the things I've always wanted to do. 273 00:22:15,041 --> 00:22:17,458 The most prestigious adult party in the country. 274 00:22:17,458 --> 00:22:19,458 Oh, shit! Shit, sorry! 275 00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:21,875 I know that man from somewhere. 276 00:22:21,875 --> 00:22:23,959 I was this close to having the best sex ever. 277 00:22:23,959 --> 00:22:27,458 I like your work, by the way. I like your work too. 278 00:22:27,458 --> 00:22:30,000 Now, is it just me 279 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,792 or are you a little bit overdressed for a work do? 280 00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:35,291 Maybe later on when you are really desperate, 281 00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:37,208 I will fuck you. 21125

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