Original subtitles

MINISTRY OF WAR NO ACCESS - DANGER

Where is the tea? I'll just go... What is this?

First check.

Second check.

Last check.

This is it. Radar alert.

Newman from Westwell.

And? - Breakthrough success.

They have been giving major alarms for 18 seconds. - Excellent.

And the other bases? - There are no misses among them.

Now sir, merry Christmas then. - And a happier New Year.

DRESSED FOR MURDER

Morning, Steed. - Mrs. Gale. How nice.

I had some friends over.

What friends? - I knew you were away for Christmas.

Did you have a good time? - I had a quiet Christmas.

In Marrakech?

Sorry about the mess. What would have happened to the jockey?

You'll get coffee in a minute. Clean up first.

If you take a moment to help, it's much quicker.

Thanks again for your gift.

Did you like it? - That they 're also making it out of crocodile leather.

I came to thank you for your beautiful gift.

Where is it? - I tried in the sitting room....

...but in the bedroom was more convenient.

Does that matter, then?

You seem to have missed a top party.

You weren't there then? - I had to leave halfway through.

And leaving your guests alone? It must have been important.

WWIII had broken out.

Good, Steed. You've piqued my curiosity.

Explain. - It's top secret, though.

Yesterday, all of our radars caught picked up a missile attack on England.

The army leadership wanted to resign immediately.

Why didn't she? - The signal disappeared. False alarm.

We were so close, or we would have been mutating by now.

Where did the signals come from? - That's what we're looking for.

Strange, though, that all the bases caught the same pattern.

Except for the base in Smallwood.

Where is that? - Near Cornwall.

There is a cock on the mantelpiece, under the bear.

Smallwood caught nothing. Everything continued to work normally.

What is that other marked place? - I have an option on that.

Ocean view, trout fishing. Maybe I'll put a bungalow there.

It is close to Smallwood, though.

That's right. You have a view of the entire complex there.

What an extraordinary coincidence. - Yes, isn't it?

Is the disruption of all those radar bases also a coincidence?

You know me anyway. - That's exactly why.

Are you going to the last meeting? - New Year's Eve party. Do you like it?

It was almost war. Is there any reason to celebrate?

This party is going to be fun. It belongs to Tony Linklater, made rich with fertilizer.

Care to join us? - Where is it?

Bambury, Wolverhampton, Shrewsbury, Wrexham and Chester.

It begins in Paddington.

Good evening. Tickets, please. Your invitation.

Thank you. To the right. Drinks are served in the saloon car.

Good evening, sir. Card, please.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Steed. Drinks will be served.

Excellent. - In the club car, along here.

Ha, champagne. - Blow in the bartender's face.

All right, pay attention. - Come on in, dude, and celebrate with us.

We are the first ones and they do us credit.

What are you drinking? - Make me one of those.

Barkeeper.

Smart idea, right? A party on a train like this. Great.

Appalled. - Your glass, dude.

You have to make do with this. There are no saucers for milk.

I'm Frederick Preston, by the way. - John Steed.

Pleasant. And this is... What's your name again?

Jane Wentwonh. I'm a cat. - I can see that.

You make me purr.

Glad you're here. I thought that only boring people came.

That way, commuting would still be fun. - You name it. To all of us.

Thank you. Turning left, the club car.

Your invitation, please.

Gentlemen, may I see your invitation? - Certainly.

Thank you. The club car is on the left, at the end of the corridor.

See.

Dorothy Wilson?

Oops, the long arm of the law.

From the Sunday Clarinet, right? - Fashion editor.

Original costume. Does that thing work?

Borrowed from the editor-in-chief. It's loaded.

Where is our host? - Not here yet. Something to drink?

I'll see what they have.

What a nice idea. I was still saying to Mr. Steed: too cool.

Fantastic, you mean? - Too crazy? Yes, of course.

It probably won't be a legendary party.

Excuse me. - Draw your revolver.

I should charge you.

So hoon it right? Duel at noon.

Why do you say that, at noon?

So hoon it right? - Ah, of course: the sheriff.

Beautiful carriage, isn't it? Victorian.

That panel is from 1882.

Are you into antiques? - I was into trains.

I was with the railroad for 20 years. I did what I was asked to do.

Now I do what I want, when I want. I made a hit.

Mr. Cavendish? Welcome aboard.

It works.

What a strange party. Where is Charlie, anyway?

Charlie Minters. It's his party, after all.

Oh, Charlie. That's on board somewhere.

Definitely going after the girls. It does him credit.

Hello. I'm not doing so bad either.

This way. - The club car, sir.

I go and stand where I want. - You have to go from Charlie to the club car.

That's for his special guests.

Slightly more private, for sure. I definitely need to meet someone.

Over here? - Yes.

Excuse me. - That's the first point of connection.

Now we are going to swing. - He's right. The voice of experience.

I can't get rid of it.

I'm going to buy myself a train station.

Awesome. Where is it located? - On the coast near Cornwall.

A big glass. Not such a weak one.

We don't know each other, but Charlie must have mentioned me at some point.

Billy Cavendish. William J.

Business or party, I don't like bickering. I only leave when I can no longer stand.

To Charlie, then.

Who does he mean?

You are not allowed to pass by there. The bar is closed. Go back. Go on.

Got a fire? - Coming up.

Steed, isn't it? - Yes, it is.

Do you get teased a lot?

Because Steed refers to horses and stallions.

So you definitely get teased a lot. - Not since school.

Oh, are you such a school pasta type. I started with nothing, and now look at me:

Six companies, villa in Cannes, five cars. Five of them. New ones every year.

I can suffer it. - I'll just go.

She may keep me busy, although she is somewhat thin. I like firm.

Hello there. - Be careful, you'll pull it off soon.

I thought I was fine. She was a model, she said. Is it even true.

Nothing for Charlie. Where is he, anyway?

I'll just go find him.

I'll be back.

I cannot associate him with Sir Arthur Lyndon.

Why should you? - That's our host.

We are guests of Major Manvell. - I don't know that one.

Then take a closer look at your invitation. Look: Major Manvell requests.

Then take a look at mine. - Separately: sir Arthur Lyndon.

I was invited by Tony Linklater.

Excuse me, sir.

Can I help you? - Yes. Move over.

You are required by your host remain in the carriage.

With those snobs? And he certainly chases the females.

I am instructed not to let you go.

Instruction? This is a party, mind you.

Do you even know who I am? - Yes, Mr. Cavendish.

You'll see that you won't get away with this.

I was invited by Sweepstake. - Me by my publisher.

This is not a journalistic ploy, is it? - Don't be ridiculous.

I see some newspapers for it. - Big deal. It's a party. I'm going to have a good time.

She's right. - Agreed. We have been fooled...

...But I'm having a good time.

It's almost midnight. - That's how it is. Who is dry?

It is coming.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, dear one.

We stand still.

And a happy New Year. - We stopped.

Where are we? - Just a moment, then I'll take a look.

Wolverhampton.

Shouldn't we seek out the rest? The more souls, the more joy.

It is quiet for Wolverhampton, though. - Indeed. Moments.

Where are you going? - We're going to take a look.

Hey there, calm down. - Drunken lout.

He's not drunk. What happened?

The conductor beat me up.

What, we're looking for him. Put the beam on it.

Along here, beware. On your face? Let's see.

Strange: locked.

Silence. - Badger's Mount has been closed for years.

Where is the rest of the train?

He trailed off.

END PART ONE

PART TWO

And? - Nothing here. What about you?

Nothing.

It is deserted. - Outside, too.

Strange that there is no conductor. - It's a private trip.

Then again. This is against regulations.

What do we do now? - We discuss it with the others.

Unheard. - I have to be in town tomorrow afternoon.

For business. - So am I.

What cases? - They are here again.

He is right: it is extinct. - Badger's Mount has been closed for years.

The mine here was closed and the village emptied out.

Do you know this area? - I did drive here.

Where is the nearest town? - Padiham is 16 km from here.

There is no more normal road here. - Surely there is a farmstead somewhere?

Yes, but where? At this hour you can wander aimlessly for miles.

We have to make the best of it. - That could be fun.

You guys do it if you want. I not staying here. I'll be busy tomorrow.

So what do you suggest? - Clearly: one of us has to get help.

Are you volunteering? - I don't like walking.

Then who did? - He, for example. He knows the area.

Run 16 km at this hour?

Surely a man can get help? Better than sitting here nitpicking.

We may not ask him. - I have no objection.

I will be gone for a few hours. - That's settled then.

You should not leave.

Why not? - No idea. We have to stick together.

Agreed.

He agreed, right? - But it's so far.

I can't wait until morning. Then we'll never be in town in the afternoon.

You should also be back by noon.

No one wants to stay here, but it's a long walk.

I have to be back tomorrow morning myself. The sooner I go, the sooner I'll be back.

Behave. - Just send a car. I'll pay for it.

Who wants drinks?

Why didn't you want him to leave? - I don't know. It's so dark.

In my opinion, this is no longer a joke. - Of course it is. But a bad one.

We could have known.

How? - By invitation.

It's like a train ticket.

But did you read the fine print?

Check it out: valid for one-way travel.

The light. - Once the batteries are dead.

It also gets cold. - And scary.

We make a cozy fire in the waiting room.

I'll bring the drinks.

So, ladies. Remember the dismount.

Cold, isn't it? - We throw some chairs on the fire.

That's better. - Ashish.

How nice of the sheriff, for stoking the stove.

That fireplace was empty when we were here.

It must have been him, right? - He didn't have time for that.

Then someone would still be at the station.

It should then.

What are you referring to? Do you know something we don't?

Probably. He keeps a low profile.

He knows more about it. I want to know what.

Why are we here? - Why?

Why us alone? - Good question. I ask myself that too.

Surely you can see that we have been singled out as victims of this joke.

The club car, yes. Only we WERE sent there.

When I wanted to leave, he knocked me down. - Exactly. But why?

Would it be a mass abduction? - I am worth something.

I don't. - And I have a high mortgage.

Yet we were lured into the train with so-called invitations from friends.

But what is the connection? Background? - In my opinion, no.

Profession then? I do something with stocks. Mainly steel.

And I'm interested in scrap metal.

But Jane is a model and I'm with the newspaper.

And you? - Electronics.

I didn't know that. - For the government.

I'm not allowed to say anything about it.

What about you? We hadn't finished talking about you.

Nothing special. I ride horses, I shoot, I fish with artificial flies.

That's not work. - Those house parties are.

The dogs sit on the chairs and the guests play mahjong on the floor.

Salon hero. - A privileged gentleman.

We won't get anywhere with that. - It has to do with tomorrow afternoon.

I thought so, too. - We all have that in common.

An important appointment in town. - Shoot.

You too? - I definitely have to be there at noon.

So did I. Now you. - I also have an appointment.

Does anyone want to thwart me professionally? - All of us.

But why? In your case, I can understand.

I just need to finalize a small land deal.

What kind of land? - A building plot.

Where. - In Cornwall.

On Millhouse?

In Smallwood? Then we all become neighbors. At least, we would be.

I'm going to build a roadside restaurant there.

The auction is tomorrow at noon. - And otherwise the deal will expire.

Then someone else can nick it. But that won't happen nicely.

As soon as that sheriff gets back, I'm going to town.

So.

Darn, empty. I'll get another bottle.

It is a nefarious but weak plan. How had he intended to keep us here?

Your plot certainly had to be close to your work.

Electronics, government work. There is a great base at Smallwood.

I didn't say I work there.

I was thinking of a cottage for the weekends.

So you wanted the land for that. - I want the land for that.

We are not yet defeated.

How are you so sure it's a man? - What a New Year's Eve.

We are waiting for the sheriff to return with a police force or a cab.

Cavendish was right: how could he think he could hold us here?

He just wants to hold us up.

But we can still just go outside...

I thought I heard someone.

The lazy bastard. He didn't even go.

Who would have done this? - Not Cupid.

My bow and arrows have been stolen.

I have never used it. I wouldn't know how.

No one doubts you, but it does explain your question

...How we are held here.

Take him to the waiting room. I look around.

We could use a drink. To the waiting room. Come, kitty.

Come along, fellow.

We'll take one. Don't look so worried.

Is it you?

The sheriff is dead. - I saw him leave.

He was inside, with an arrow in his back. - Then he was killed and brought inside.

Not your fault. How many are there? - At least two.

Was the conductor there? - Him I saw.

Across the street. Strategic position.

Why was the sheriff killed? - He was eager to get away. I suspected him.

I was wrong. Stay here. They know the layout here, we don't.

You're not worried about me, are you?

To myself. You are my only eye.

Our joker is serious. - We need to get the police involved.

16 kilometers away? - It's pitch black.

We're stuck here. Go, if you want. I'm staying.

That's exactly what he wants. - So if I stay here, nothing will happen to me.

I'll go alone, though. - All of us, or no one.

Makes sense. - I don't want you to go.

I hate to lose you, but I have to.

Someone is missing: Dorothy Wilson. Where is she?

Settled with the girl? Pretty neat, right? The boss would like that.

I know.

Silence is the advantage of this.

Just a whooshing sound.

Make sure That no one else goes around.

I watch over the other side.

No one seen, and you? - No one.

Keep looking. I look inside the carriage.

He does take the lead here, doesn't he?

I haven't been able to find her anywhere either.

Miss Wilson went to get her bag from the carriage.

Then I just missed you. - Or you weren't looking properly.

I'm sure it was just an excuse to do something else for a while.

I don't quite understand that. I have also just been shot at.

You did? And none of us saw it.

I say what I think.

He's been playing being the wise guy.

He knows a little too much about the issue. - It can't be him. He is too sweet.

Can someone explain? - You know very well what we mean.

Mr. Cavendish. Please.

We have had consultations.

Apparently.

There are six of us. There were seven.

Did you work that out for yourselves? - There were seven of us in the carriage.

Miss Wentwonh pointed out to us to an unnoticed fact.

Seven men, and there are only six plots. - The sheriff had bought a station.

On a plot of land stands a disused station.

That leaves five plots, and six people claiming the property.

I see what you mean. - That leaves us with a solution:

One of us is a fraud.

This is an unpleasant thought.

And in my absence I have been named a contender.

Unfortunately, I too have an option on a plot.

So then it could still be anyone.

We can bring that back.

Miss Wilson, will you join us?

A kaan from Smallwood.

Do you always have it in your pocket?

I am very precise.

Particularly precise.

It's simple: we know that we can drop this plot.

That's where the station is. The remaining plots I number from one to five.

What good does that do you?

We know which plot is ours, right?

Mine lies ... - No, don't say it.

Look on the cock and note the number.

And then we show what we have chosen.

Caution.

One of the numbers is double. That helps us get started.

Well? - Look at that.

Because it was my idea: number one. - Number five.

Miss Wilson? - Number four.

What does he have?

Another four. What did I tell you?

Now what? - Lock them both up.

Why? - There might as well be a woman behind it.

We know it's him. - Oh yes, Miss Wilson was gone for a while, too.

I explained that. - To be sure.

There is surely an explanation...

Would you take the arrow away from him, Mr. Preston.

Hoon that go with the costume?

I always have to have it in my pocket.

These do come with the costume.

Exactly.

END PART TWO

PART THREE

Why did you choose number four now?

Seascape and trout fishing, remember?

I chose the only plot where no stream flows.

You could have known I was appropriating it.

I can try to shoot them through.

Is that for real? - Of course it is.

Then why didn't you use it? - I didn't know the policeman.

We must not kill innocents.

I knew someone who shot through handcuffs.

What happened then? - They now know him as Leftist.

Do you have a hairpin?

Now I have them so loose. I recently took a course in handcuffs.

Moment.

You didn't take an option on that lot, did you? Then why did you?

Someone is buying up plots of land that are close to our radar bases.

Sorry.

They do it with fake companies and through a Swiss account number.

Hold on. Only yesterday did I realized why.

The missile attack?

All these plots have something in common.

They have never been built on and are close to the radar base.

They have an elevation. Ideal spots for a temporary station.

A transmitter. Or a jammer.

Something like that, yes. Something that could provide the bases of misinformation.

What is the value of such a device?

Take yesterday. Suppose that happens every day

A series of false alarms? Nerve-wracking.

Our radar people would begin to doubt their equipment.

But they need all the radar bases for that, and they don't have Smallwood.

Did you even pass that buoy course?

It will be light soon. Then everything looks different.

Then we see that 16-km hike in front of us.

And then Steed gets his due.

Do you still think he's behind it? - You don't?

You locked him up. - He couldn't have done it alone.

I'm going to take a look.

What does he suddenly have?

That was a stupid mistake, Steed and that woman.

If one of them were the perpetrator.

How so? - That they didn't know about those plots.

Such people often overlook a detail.

But with the party and all, everything was right. - That was well organized, yes.

But if neither of them is it, it must be one of us.

It was well organized, though.

By someone precise.

Damn right. Let's see what he puts out.

These are early Victorian. The course did not cover antiques.

Is the culprit here? - In my opinion, yes.

Did you know that when you accepted the invitation?

I know that Tony Linklater is in Argentina. He invited me.

The last thing the perpetrator wants , is for the case to go public.

Now he has to kill us all. And you and I are easy targets.

Exactly what I want. A last refuge. He has to come to us.

We have to get them all out of the way, the boss just said.

Someone had figured out the trick.

Quiet and neat, just the way the boss wants it.

Start there.

I fascinate her. My smile, lol.

Taken a smile course? - It is innate.

Hey, kitty. Kitty, kitty.

Hello. I still like you. - And I find you enchanting.

You are too crazy. - So are you.

I would love to do something about it, but.... - Good heavens.

If you could help me... - The others don't like that.

They are not here. Please, I just want a screwdriver. Look in the drawer.

I can't make that. - You're not afraid of me, are you?

I wouldn't hurt you.

It could be. - I don't.

Still, it could be done. - But I don't.

On my... Upon my word of honor.

I am as innocent as you are.

The longer I sit here, the more danger you are in.

I was thinking just the opposite.

Please.

No.

But you asked sweetly.

So much for the great seducer. I could tell she was crazy about you.

But beneath the sweet words Hides the evil deed.

Also a course in pickpocketing? - This is stronger.

This is much better.

By the way, how did you exchange clothes with Dorothy?

Did you throw her in the closet? - I found her unconscious.

Chloroform.

But that's Dorothy Wilson.

Then who is that woman at Steed? - I want to know that too.

Get brandy and don't say anything to the rest yet.

We have to go.

That numbering could have been successful successful. It just wasn't completed.

You're right. That's where you dive in. We're breaking up.

Got it? She's recovering, I believe.

Enter.

Someone changed costumes. You had us fooled.

If the boss hoons it, you're screwed.

Trust me.

I can't find them anywhere. - Stay put.

Puss, give me that piece of paper That's on the table.

We are going to finish our game.

Ashish. - Empty. There is nothing on it.

That's not my bill. I have it right here. - Take it.

Put it on the table.

Number three.

That leaves one person. - That's just the way it is.

It also predicts that there will be only one person left from the party.

Hands up.

You are standing in the way of my mission. No one should.

Stone the world in a nuclear war?

There will be devastation, but there will also be losers and winners.

I want to be among the winners.

Where is Mr. Steed?

I find him anyway.

Do it nicely this time.

To the bar. Forward.

Mr. Preston.

Yes, sir.

We just got back ourselves. It's a long way, from Waterloo.

Station.

Vacation traffic is also very busy.

I will let you know immediately.

Is everything okay? - The government buys back Napoleon's land.

Also your plot? - Unfortunately, yes.

Too bad. I felt like going trout fishing.

This afternoon it is from the government.

All government officials will build their country residence there.

And? - The correct recipe.

It's been cold since we got back.

They brought us back by train. - Without a bar.

1945. The liberation of Paris and an outstanding year.

Happy New Year to you, by the way.

You too, dear. And may you many more to come.

No exaggeration. We only just survived this year.