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So I told him to go fuck himself, little pussy ass bitch

Haha, yes you did, girl!

Mona, deal with your customer.

Puppy Chow!

Anyway...

Your total is $32.53.

Oh I'm sorry sir, you can't buy pet food with EBT cards.

What?

You can't buy pet food with EBT cards, it's illegal

Yeah... fuck you!

Hey Mom.

[buzzer]

Hi Pumpkin Pie!

Hi Mom. Oh I feel Italian

burps - Sorry mom, right in your ear

Ooh it's OK, god look at your big fat belly. - you're one to talk mom

Suck my dick. Alright take those off they smell, come help me cook

Make sure you get those spines out they kind of stick in there.

How are you? You look like you're going to pop any second now

Mom, you already said that. When's the last time you went to the doctor?

I don't know, like, a couple of months ago or something?

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, Mona, you gotta go

more frequently than that!

I don't like it when those men poke at my vagina, its gross.

What do you think they're doing? Celebrating Cinco de Mayo?

They're doing their job!

Mom, women have been shitting out babies for like a million

years without doctors, I don't see what the big problem is.

You know what the problem is, the problem is you being a fucking asshole, that's what the problem is.

Okay, well that's just the way I am so you're just going to have to deal with it.

Whatever.

Mom, is this big enough. Well that's good for a pygmy.

I think I'm a little taller than a pygmy, so make it twice the size.

Okay, well, you could've just said you needed a-

You're pissing me off, Mona!

Just tell me how big! That's all I'm asking!

Make it like half of a hamburger patty.

About the size of half a hamburger patty. OK, thank you.

That's what I wanted to know. The size of a bull's testicles.

Mom. Whatever.

Television: Yessir, we're in a rut, Ellie. Not that it isn't a pleasant rut,

but I think we ought to get out of it.

You know I only get angry because I worry about you.

I know.

But I have been taking care of myself for long enough.

Fair enough.

What are you doing Mom? You know exactly well what I am doing.

I am praying for you. It's what I do now. I pray for the people that I love.

It works-

Mom, you know that religion shit got real old like a year ago, right?

Bite me.

Hi. Hi, Janice, how was work?

Fine.

What are you eating? Uh, Mona and I made salmon croquettes.

Can I have some? I don't think I made enough, sorry.

Jesus.

Don't forget to wash your dishes.

I hate her.

I know. I fucking hate her. Oh my god, such a pill.

And she's got a lot of fuckin nerve telling me to do my fucking dishes.

She's got a mile high pound of dishes in here that are growing colonies of maggots

Ew!

I'm telling you, I fucking hate her. That's disgusting.

She stinks.

Look at it! Go! Got it.

You don't do anything with your eyebrows.

No. Why would I do anything with my eyebrows? They're just there.

Now you know what I'm gonna do because you're giving me attitude?

I'm gonna pluck 'em. I'm plucking-- just a couple of hairs!

Mom, don't come near me with that, seriously.

Just a couple. Can I get just this one? Just let me get the one. Don't move,

if you move, it'll hurt.

Oww! You have no idea what that just did!

I don't know why--

Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can't be pretty. Alright?

So look out! Comin at ya!

Can I ask you a favor, please?

If I come into the store can you hook me up?

Sure. Thank you. Just food?

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Mom! Mom! I cut my finger! I cut my finger!

Okay. Its alright. Ow ow ow! It really hurts!

Mom! Mom!

Of course we don't have any fucking band-aids!

Owww!!

You know what, it's not that big a deal, honey.

Yes it is, it hurts so bad.

So we're gonna take this right now, and hold it right there and you're gonna put a little pressure.

Ow! Ow!

No, I need a band-aid!

I don't have any band-aids! Why are you using duct tape?!

Because I don't have a band-aid!

What the hell is going on here?

SHUT UP!

Your make-up held up very well.

I think, before you go to work tomorrow, you should put it on again

just like this, and then you should see how many guys

line up at that supermarket to take you out.

You could be a trophy wife.

You're okay, honey.

You're okay. See this is why I want you here.

What would you have done if this happened at your place, hmm?

I don't even have a kitchen.

Wheres your hat?

Don't have one.

I don't want you to go.

I want you to stay here with me, I don't want you to go!

Don't we see enough of each other?

I suppose we do. Don't forget your make-up..

Mom, I'm not going to wear that. You might.

And tell your sister if you see her that I said hi, even if she hates me.

OK.

I love you so much I could shit.

Oops, I just pinched a loaf!

Oopsie, I made a poopsie!

I hate you. Call me tomorrow...

From the nearest pay phone. Mom I will.

Get home safe. Or move in.

Hey, baby doll. You alright?

[alarm clock]

[fighting from other room]

See, girl, you are too damn responsible.

I be fucking other niggas all the time and nobody gotta be finding out shit.

Oh shit. Mona, girl, what the fuck happened to your face?

Girl, you look like a straight up streetwalker!

Don't you listen to these bitches, Mona. They ain't shit themselves.

Shondra, now who are you calling a bitch? You need to mind your business over there.

It is my business, you need to stop being nasty to her. I think you look pretty, Mona.

Thanks.

All I'm saying is, I don't know,

because if he wasn't an abomination of god,

then why would god even put him on the planet that way?

Listen, you're asking if he's an abomination of god,

I'm saying he's not, because everybody was put on this planet for a reason.

But he cant even go to church! He cant accept Jesus in his heart

so when he die, he going to hell!

But he is still on this earth, and if everything and everybody on this earth

is a part of god's plan, that means he is not an abomination of god

automatically if he does only got one arm

and is half retarded. Duh.

Whatever. Whatever.

Seriously.

Aw, shit, look who it is.

Nice coat!

Bitch is out her damn mind. Hey, girl!

Seriously, ease up on that girl,

pregnant bitches say and do some weird shit.

No, no, I don't know, Shondra, because last week

she asked me if Keyshia felt guilty killing all those kids in Japan

so she could get her hair. What?

Girlfriends not right in the head. That bitch is crazy.

And funky.

She does not smell, get the hell out of here.

Where the fuck are you going? I'm gonna go talk to her!

Dang! Well bye!

About what? None of your business!

How to get a new coat, that's what you need to do!

Go be Mother Theresa, bye, girl!

Hey, Mona.

Oh hey.

What's up, girl, we never talk.

Yeah, sometimes my tongue gets tied up.

You're not gonna hang out with Keyshia?

Man, fuck Keyshia. I see how she acts towards you.

She can be a real cunt, too.

Sorry if you don't like that word, I know I use it too much.

I'm a shame to my own gender.

It's okay. Cunt cunt cunt cunt.

I don't care.

You are crazy, girl. When are you due?

Uh, I dunno, soon?

Yeah? I had my daughter like four years ago.

Let me tell you, it's not easy

But I do love the shit outta her

Yeah.

I gotta go pick her up from my Grammy's down the block now

Yo, it'd be nice to have some company.

Like right now?

No. I really don't wanna do that.

I'm gonna just go.

[doorbell]

[doorbell]

Go get it.

[doorbell repeatedly]

Yes?

Jordan it's Mona. Mona what the fuck are you doing here?

Well, I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd stop by.

Let me in I'm freezing. It's so cold. Alright, alright.

Just wait outside.

[doorbell repeatedly]

Fuck.

Jordan.

Isn't that awesome? Don't wanna lose it.

Whoa! Hot spoon.

What? That was hot.

The coffee is really strong and really hot.

Well why did you order it, then? I don't know!

You remember. Steve?

Did he look like--? He looked like this, right?

He was like, into looking fat or something. He stuffed his butt and his stomach to look more fat.

Why?

I don't know.

Um, hey girls. Hi.

Mom dated some nasty men.

I saw mom yesterday.

Ugh, yikes, that woman is a monster.

She says hi. She wants to see you. Yeah I don't care

and I don't want to see her.

This is really bad.

Why are we drinking four dollar coffee when we could just be on your couch?

Uhh, Sylve is deep in writers mode, we cannot hang out there.

I haven't seen Sylve in like a million years, don't you think she'd want to see me?

Uhh, oh my god, whatever. What is going on with you?

Well, I'm pregnant, still. Oh? Still?

When are you going to have your baby, like--

In two months. Or like one month. Or like, a week.

Is it still alive, have you been to the doctor to check and see if its still alive

because sometimes they can die inside of you and you would never know.

I don't know! What are you talking about?

Jesus!

Listen, if you don't like it, then stop fucking drinking it.

I paid a lot of money for it, so I will drink it if I want to.

Listen, what are you doing later?

What do you mean? I mean-

I can't hang out too terribly long right now. Jordan we just got here.

Yeah, I know but I already have stuff I have to do already.

I'm not even done with my coffee. You're not even enjoying it.

Why did we even come here?

Mona! You can't just show up at my apartment

whenever you want just because you're bored

You have to at least call beforehand, or something.

Jordan, I don't have a phone.

I know you don't have a phone, so like

why don't you fucking figure it out and get one.

It's absolutely ridiculous that you're pregnant and no one

can get in touch with you unless you feel

Oh my god! Forget it. Go die!

You should be ashamed.

I'm not following her.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

I'm leaving you so you can get to your important shit, asshole.

Fine, be mom.

You know, you really are such a prick!

Yeah you're right, you're right, I'm sorry.

Come on.

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm sorry too then.

You know it's just not cool if you just show up

you know, you gotta call. Fine.

Fine you can come over later just call.

Fine. Fine.

Fine. Fine.

What are you gonna do now?

I don't know, I guess I'll go home.

OK. Bye.

Bye.

Hey! Hey.

So what happened, why'd she stop by?

She depresses me.

Your family is fucked up.

Are you going to work?

Yes. Some of us

have to work, princess.

Don't go. Just take off your pants.

We can't all be debutantes, Miss Scarlett...

Yes, that's right Mammy. Now go tend to the fields.

The lady of the house needs you to earn your dues.

You're such a dumb-ass. Mammy was a house slave.

Why Mammy, I never...

Miss Scarlett...

You're gonna be the death of me.

Fiddle Dee Dee

Mom!

You know, you don't have to come if you don't want to.

Mom, for the thousandth time I have nothing else to do. It's fine, I'm coming.

OK. [belch]

Oh, excuse me. You're such a pig.

You know why they say burps are better than farts?

Why waste it when you can taste it.

That's disgusting.

Hey do you want to do Laverne and Shirley?

Yeah. Ready?

One two three four five six seven eight

Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

It's been really... difficult dealing with the divergent extremes.

Like-

the sneaking out and the gambling... the drinking.

[door slams]

It's OK we'll just go get some chairs.

Levi, please continue.

Um, but that's all behind me now.

And I'm trying not to let the old vices

get replaced with new ones.

[loud clang]

So now that my wife has left me...

for good-

I can't help but feel like I need to indulge in...

alternate sex.

No no no, not the gay stuff.

Um, you know, not that there's anything wrong with that, though.

But you know, I just, I want to

[applause]

Thanks.

One night, I went out with the drug dealers who were supplying my boyfriend,

and they took me out to a bar.

And they bought me a ton of shots, and I got wasted, of course.

The next morning I woke up

half naked next to one of them, I think his name was Randy?

Like 49, old, and um...

unattractive.

And uh I was just drinking every night, getting laid by several different partners

And then one day I realized that I hadn't had my period in a long time.

I was so drunk that I didn't realize that I was three months pregnant.

I asked my ex, uh, by then he was my ex Alex,

to help me get money for an abortion.

And, uh,

got one.

It's not funny, but um...

I'm sorry, that...

I told myself I wasn't going to cry.

[applause] Thank you.

[singing]

Thank you. [applause]

Well I would like to take the time to thank everyone who attended. Hope to see you again.

Everybody can please stand up and take their neighbor's hand

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

[applause] Very good. Thank you everybody.

Hi!

Hi! Oh! I'm so happy to see you!

Me too!

Hi! How you been?

How's it going? This is my daughter Mona.

Hi.

Where have you been hiding this? The basement.

Where has she been hiding you? Don't mind Dottie, she's usually not this scary.

By the way, I'm Lou.

I'm not scary.

Hi I'm Bev.

Wow! Look at that little belly!

Is it a boy or a girl?

I dunno.

Have you thought about what to name it?

You guys, where's that fucking cocksucker John, I haven't seen him.

What'd he fall off the wagon or something?

Oh.

John Died.

Really, he stepped out of his house and he got hit by a car.

Shut up! God rest his soul.

Fuck! Beep Beep!

Come on baby you don't want to hear this shit.

Listen, I really need to talk to you.

You know your mother told me about you before,

and you really seem like you're a great girl.

And you probably got a lot of potential. So I don't want you to fuck that all up

just 'cause you're having that baby there.

Your mother is a great woman.

I'm not saying she don't have a lotta shit on her plate, but

she cares about you and she wants the best for you.

I know, and all that shit she did before, that's over with.

Understand?

I know! But it's still kind of a little fucked up.

You know what you guys, I gotta go. I'll see you at the next meeting.

Bev what did you say to her?

Mona!

Little spoiled bitch.

Walking advertisement for birth control.

Mona!

God damn it Mona, slow down! Mona!

Mona stop!

Where are you going? I'm going home!

Why are you going home honey?

Because you talk about me. You talk about me with your friends

and that's my information.

OK, I do talk about you. it's AA, that's what you do. You talk about what's going on with people.

Yeah but that's my problem.

No, it's not your problem, you're my-- It's my life!

Those people are fucking drunks!

Watch your fucking mouth. They are there because they are friends.

They are there to help me. They're there to listen to me..

Don't talk about me with other people.

Mona honey you have problems, you've gotta let me...

Oh I have problems mom? I'm not the fucking lowlife drug addict.

Am I?

That's you! That's you! That's who you are

and that's who you will always be.

Oh man. Fuck you. Don't you get it?

You fucking bitch.

You fucking bitch. I'm not the bitch!

Mom! Where were you? You selfish bitch.

You fucking selfish bitch.

You think you are so much better than everybody.

Why are you saying that? You think you're the only person?

No I don't! Hey Mona, where are your friends, Mona?

You got any friends Mona? Shut up Ma!

Who called you? Shut up!

Hey Mona, who do you live with? Who cares about you Mona?

Shut up Shut up!

Who wants to know what's going on in your life, Mona?

You don't have friends! I don't know why you're saying this.

You have a shitty job. You're pregnant. Nobody cares about you.

Why are you saying this?

You have nobody who loves you. I'm tired of you! That's not true!

Do you know what? I don't think I want to see you anymore.

What? Where are you going?

I'm going home. Fuck you.

Why don't you go have your baby in a fucking ditch.

I fucking don't care. I am done with you.

I am done.

I am done with you.

Good luck.

Have a good baby you fucking retard.

Fine, just go.

I don't, I don't care. Go.

Fucking go away.

I will. I will have my baby in a fucking dumpster.

I don't care.

I'm not the fuck up. Not the fuck up.

Not the fuck up.

Fuck! Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Hi, my friend and I don't really--

Fuck you!

No baby girl I'm sorry. It ain't like you've never seen nothing before.

Shit.

Oh god.

God damn. Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh god.

[loud music]

[belch]

Sylve! Baby.

Hey guys, you're not the only drunk white people at this bar.

To white people.

Bartender

Sylve, come on

OK can you stop being so loud and fucking obnoxious?

Well, why don't you bring me a little drinky poo and I'll shut the fuck up.

Maybe I'll bring you a little drinky poo if you stop being such an annoying bitch.

Why don't you stop being such a nigger!

Excuse me?

Hey everybody, I love my nigger girlfriend!

Seriously, you need to shut the fuck up before I beat the shit out of you.

Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

Ow!

Get the fuck out of my face. I'm alright!

Don't bother me for the rest of the night. You're such an asshole.

Baby! Sylve!

Sylve come back!

[whistle noise]

Sylve I just wouldn't take it too seriously when she gets like this.

I mean, she was such a wreck before you.

That's a super shitty point.

She's kind of a wreck now.

Yeah but you like can't give up on her. Like you're such a good influence on her.

I mean, you're like a real person, with a real job and stuff.

I know I'm a real person.

And also she really wasn't serious about her veganism until she met you

but now I think it's like a real thing.

Didn't you like write a book? Yeah I wrote a science fiction, feminist novel.

That's cool. Did you read it?

Wait, I didn't read it, but I know someone who might've.

I know we're not really that good friends, but I feel like there's a... thing

We're closing!

Hey baby...

What are you doing?

Come on. Fuck me.

No.

No, you're being a fucking retard.

I'm taking off my pants.

What? What are you still fucking pissed 'cause I said the N word?

Fuck you. You are!

Are you upset my little n... nincompoop?

Stop. N... nickelback

Don't. Ninny...

Jordan, I'll fucking beat the shit out of you.

Nipple clip. Nigger. Fuck you!

Fucking bitch. This is my bed and you can't sleep in it.

Fuck you, you racist piece of shit.

That's my shirt and I don't want you wearing it ever again.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Fucking stop! Stop. Shut up!

Shut up!

Fucking sleep alone.

You deserve to be alone!

[moaning]

Sylve!

I want to die!

Shondra, your best friend just showed up.

Suck my dick, Keyshia.

The fuck she just say?

Mona, are you alright?

She won't be in a minute she keeps saying shit to me.

Can you all please just leave me alone. I'm trying to do my job.

I don't have time for you people.

What do you mean "you people"? Shut up, Naomi.

So Mona you think you better than the rest of us? Is that it?

Stop antagonizing her, Keyshia.

OK sir that's 32.53.

Sir, the last time you came in I specifically told you

that you cannot buy dog food with EBT Cards.

Bullshit. I've used it before.

No you've never used it before because it's illegal. That's against the law.

I don't like your attitude.

Keyshia, will you stop looking at me?

Sir please leave.

I want to talk to your manager.

Oh Mona, you doing something wrong, girl? We have to get the big boss man involved now?

Stop! You crazy!

Somebody get her off of me!

You crazy bitch! I will fuck you up!

I hate you! I will kill you. You pulled out my hair!

I'm gonna fuck you up Mona I swear before god!

I'mma beat your ass. Let me go!

You mark my words Mona!

What the hell is going on here?

That bitch was talking shit and she attacked me out of nowhere! Let go!

Mona, did you attack Keyshia?

Mona? I repeat, did you attack Keisha?

That's it, get out of here now! I'm calling the cops!

Go ahead Jeff. You fat fucking prick.

You pussy bitch bastard son of a bitch. Go!

You'd better be gone by the time they get here.

Go to your office, Jeff. Yeah, go!

Like the fucking subhuman turd that you are.

Run Jeff!

You motherfucking baby shit fuck! Go!

Oh Jeff!

[screaming]

I want her out of here.

Get her out of here!

Yeah, that's right. I'm gone.

Eat shit you're all fucking demons!

Mona you still talking shit?

I will beat your ass again. Eat shit! Eat shit!

You think I'm afraid of you Mona? I will beat you and your baby ass!

I don't care Mona, I will fuck you up!

I know where you live!

I don't play that shit I'm from Brooklyn, Mona!

I will beat your ass!

Mona! Mona!

Mona! Mona.

Um, I'm holding this, this paper in my hands and I don't understand, what does it mean?

YouTube: Mishka - I love you! I love you!

YouTube: I love you! Good girl!

Hello?

YouTube: I love you!

Hi Mona.

Sylve...

Oh shit. Baby I'm sorry. Come here.

Fuck off. [cell phone ring]

Get your fucking phone.

I don't know this number. I'm nervous.

Maybe it's a job. That'd be good for you, get a job.

Hello?

Hey Jordan, um...

I need to talk to you.

Mona, I'm not entirely sure what's going on here.

I need a place to stay.

You lost your apartment and your job in the same day,

and May won't talk to you now?

Basically. What the fuck Mona?

You look like you could use a sandwich.

That would be lovely. What kind of sandwich, Sylve?

Uh well we got Brie, avocado, sprouts...

What about for meat? We're vegetarian.

Well that's just stupid, what's the focal point of the sandwich?

The cheese!

Jesus. Calm the fuck down.

Fucking forget it.

How long were you planning on staying?

I don't know.

Well Mona I don't know how long you can stay.

You're about to have a baby like this month.

Exactly Jordan. I'm about to have a baby.

What am I supposed to do? I don't know

what were you planning on doing? What was your plan?

Didn't you have a plan, Mona, when you got pregnant?

Was there a plan involved? I don't know.

Well what do you know because it seems to me that you were just

planning on having the baby and leaving it in a fucking dumpster or something.

Fuck.

You have to call May. I can't we're not talking.

Well Mona I'm not equipped to deal with this.

I have a lot going on in my own life.

You can't just show up here. What are you talking about?

It's three o'clock in the afternoon and you're not even dressed.

Get your shit together.

You're pregnant, homeless and unemployed so fuck you.

Thank you Sylve.

You're welcome.

What the fuck?

What the fuck is that? What the fuck is she doing here?

Listen, we're going to take her in for one fucking night.

She's your fucking sister.

And then we'll call your mom in the morning. No, she does this shit all the time.

No you are not. I am not talking to that woman.

Why are you taking her side? I am not taking a side. I'm being a good person.

Why don't you take a fucking note.

Sylve.

What? I'm sorry.

I'm...

So Mona

We have a party that we have to go to for a couple of hours.

Is it OK if we leave you here for a little bit?

No. Absolutely not.

What? Where are you guys going?

I'll just come with you, I just, I can't be alone right now.

We're going to our friends going away party.

They're leaving for Oregon for good.

It's just a small intimate gathering, invite only.

We have to go for like 2 seconds.

So bring me!

I don't think that's a good idea in the state you're in

I'm fine. Look. Look.

Look how happy I can be.

You know what? Maybe we should stay in, watch a movie.

You have to go. You've known them for like ten years.

It would be so good for me.

It's been so long since I've been to a party

and seen people.

I really want to go.

It's like this whole thing, it's like

you know like in AA where they say you have this moment of clarity?

It's like I've really turned a corner, you know.

I needed to lose my apartment.

I needed to lose my job.

I feel like it's the best thing that could have happened to me.

You know, I really, I'd love to meet your friends.

Sylve.

You have a car, right? Yeah.

Listen, I left my apartment in such a hurry.

If you could just drive me there and we could pick up a couple things?

That'd be so great, I mean.

I can't go to a party in this outfit.

I mean look at me.

I can't.

Fuck this.

I'll get my keys.

Do you want the flyswatter?

Absolutely. Yeah. That definitely needs to go.

So we should probably take these things too.

I know they're kind of stupid but we really shouldn't

leave too much of anything.

I thought we were just coming here to get an outfit.

Um, hello Jordan.

We've got to just get everything, OK, 'cause they're changing the locks.

Don't worry about it baby girl. We'll help you out.

Hey Jordan can you just like wrap those?

Cause they're like, they're really...

breakable.

Hold up so you got kicked out of this place because you didn't pay your rent?

You work all the time Mona, what the hell happened to all your money?

La la la la Not listening to your negativity right now Jordan.

I turned a corner, remember?

Do you really need

all these newspapers from two years ago?

Yeah.

This is trash.

Oh my god! Blackie!

What'd you call me?

No, it's Blackie.

Blackie and this Whitie.

Uh, I just broke this.

Jordan!

It's my favorite!

I told you it was breakable! Those are tampons.

There's used tampons in the corner.

She hasn't had her period in at least eight months.

OK you guys, let's just load up.

Oh I forgot, I forgot to do one thing.

I'll be right back OK.

We're doing an awesome thing OK.

She seems like she's doing better.

What are you motherfuck Teresa?

She's out of her god damn mind.

Whatever.

I don't want to go to this thing tonight

Because of Mona? Yes.

She's not that bad.

She's not that good,

but she's not that bad.

She's your family.

She's not that bad.

Just-

[door opening] Hi!!

Look who has arrived!

Hey Jordan!

Toni!

Sylve!

So good to see you

I'm going to miss you so much!

I'm going to miss you too. Who's this?

This is my sister Mona.

She's pregnant. Obviously...

Hey, Toni. Mona.

This is my partner Kris

Can I get your jackets?

Just, just

Just be careful with this one.

OK. Special stuff.

Jordan!

Oh hey!

Hey!

I thought I smelled a fag in here.

This party sucks.

Well thank you for having us.

So where are the drinks?

Sorry

Hi

I saw you come in and I just had to come talk to you.

Um, you're Jordan's...

Sister

Not a lesbian.

Well I see you have Jordan's sense of humor.

I'm Jenna.

Mona.

Nice to meet you Mona.

So since you're not gay, uh,

I assume it's a natural pregnancy?

Yup. Got knocked up.

Whoops!

Well don't worry.

Not so secretly, so did I.

It's really tough going through a pregnancy

with no sense of stability, right?

It was particularly hard for me actually, because,

well six months into my pregnancy I met Kacey

and fell in love.

So yeah, I had to deal with a

surprise pregnancy, and then

finding out that I was gay.

Lots of emotions, lots of crying.

But you're still with her now,

so that's stability right?

Yeah, yeah. I guess so.

What are you drinking?

Some kind of whiskey.

Well you're not alone.

I totally cheated

when I was pregnant with Alexa.

Just please don't tell Kacey.

From a mom,

to a mom to be

you know what really used to help me?

No?

[cough]

Whoa

You OK?

Strong.

[cough]

Wait, are you OK?

Oh my god you brought it!

Yeah, I brought it!

That's awesome! I'm so excited.

Do you know what that is?

Can you say rock band?

So, uh, by the end of the book

my protagonist Janet is literally

walking around with two heads.

One is this broken down sistah

who has lost all the urge to fight.

Um, she's become

self-loathing and the second

is this feral being.

Who feeds off the hatred

and anger of others.

Like bell hooks

meets HP Lovecraft

except with more gore and decapitation.

(singing) Time is on my side, yes it is.

Time

is on my side

yes it is

Now you always say

that you want to be free

Oh I want to play I want to play!

Can I sing? Can I be the singer?

Oh my god.

Oh my god Leslie Gore I fucking love

Leslie gore. Let's do that one.

(singing) Sunshine lollipops

and rainbows everything that's

wonderful is what I feel when

we're together.

Brighter than a lucky

penny, when the...

How are you doing, how's Jordan?

Um, well Jordan, uh,

Her sister

might be staying with us

a little bit. That sounds fun.

With the baby and everything?

I don't know, I mean

the baby is due soon, but we don't know...

any of the details

and you've seen my apartment. I mean our apartment, it's...

Does she have health insurance?

No. She actually,

she actually just lost her job.

For a second I thought you were going to say child.

No no no That would be awkward.

Was it discrimination? No, no

I don't know all the details.

But she-- She's right behind you.

What are you guys talking about?

I've got these big shoes on.

Do you like my boots, or?

Yeah they're like really cool.

This guy is a real dick.

Whoa! That dog is standing!

[doorbell] What was that?

One more partygoer.

Getting kind of crazy in here.

My name is Mona.

Hi Mona. How are you doing?

Mona, is that wine you're drinking?

No.

[coughing]

Sorry

Do you want some water? Yeah!

It's like

Just relax.

I can't

Jesus. Look--everybody is looking.

They were all looking at me

and they're all laughing and it's weird.

No, they're not talking

I'm pregnant, OK, things just happen to my body.

Everybody's a freak though.

It's a fucking party why is everybody so uptight.

You might not want to see the f word

because there are kids over here.

Oh my god, kids kids kids kids kids.

I'm gonna be right back.

Go have fun over there.

Hey, hi guys.

Can I just borrow you for a second?

Yeah. Just right over here if you don't mind.

We'll be back, I'll give her back.

I don't know how to say this, but um,

ls your sister OK?

Yeah I don't know how you mean.

Well she's acting a little...

... Strange Oh Mona

Yeah, she is a little strange.

She's just like that. She-

I wouldn't have even brought her out but

she was having trouble.

She needed to go out, she's like-

It's been a hard pregnancy, you know.

Oh yeah I know, Sylv told me all about it.

Honestly she's just

setting a bad example for the kids.

I'd appreciate it if you'd just talk to her.

I don't know what you want me to say, Toni.

I know it's a delicate situation.

No no no no, I don't think you do know.

I'd just appreciate it if you'd talk to her.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Yes

I'll talk to her, yes.

Of course.

Just like how you talk to all of your friends about how I'm

so bad for Sylve.

And you wish she was still with Sarah. That's real cute.

I'll go talk to her about that.

Who told you that?

It doesn't matter, does it. Because I know.

And I've known for a long time.

And I still kissed your ass. And I was still nice to you.

Then why did you do that?

Because I care about Sylve. But you're leaving.

OK, really?

No. I understand. I understand.

It's hard having, like,

this really nice apartment and a rich girlfriend

that I can live off of

That's like, super, like

hard life. Like maybe

oh woe is me,

And you don't have a job, right?

Yeah. No, I,

So how exactly is your situation different?

Isn't Sylve the one paying the bills, or am I totally wrong on that?

Um, I am an artist

So-- oh right right

An artist, OK.

I pay my bills.

You want to rethink what you just told me, or?

I'll rethink this.

You're a fucking cunt. We're leaving.

Get your stuff, we're going.

Why?

It's time to go.

I don't want to get up. I'm really comfortable.

I don't care, let's go.

Fine.

Oh god.

Oh Jesus

Jordan can you please help me.

Here, just. Turn this way.

Grab on

I'm just gonna get your coat.

Yeah

uh I know you like this job holding the salsa

but I have another one for you.

Can you help me please. Do you see what's going

on around here?

Can you - what? Swallow and then speak to me.

Because my eggs

aren't really coming out the way that I wanted

We're leaving.

We're going.

Jordan.

Where is my donkey unicorn?

It was in my pocket before

and I don't know where it - it's not-

it's not in here. Where did it go?

Where is it?

I don't understand

it was in my pocket I put it in there.

And it's not there and I don't know

where it went.

Somebody must have taken it.

Somebody fucking took it and it's mine.

And I don't understand why somebody would take it.

Who took my donkey unicorn?

Who took it?

Who took it? I know one of you took it! Who took it?

Somebody here did. Somebody thieved it.

Somebody took it! Mona.

Where did it go?

You have it! You're a dick.

They are all, they are all demons.

Can't you see in there eyes?

I don't know what everybody's problem is.

Get your fucking hands off of her!

And I don't know why you're all

child stealing dyke thieves!

Don't get your fucking hands...

You get the fuck back here. Oh no!

You did not touch my sister like that!

I'll fucking kill you, you ho.

You dumb bitch! You slut!

I'll fucking kill you!

I'm not leaving, I'm not fucking leaving.

I'm not leaving 'til kill this bitch.

Fine I'm leaving.

You're all dykes!

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I..

Sylve, Sylve OK.

I don't think you should touch me right now.

I'm sorry. Just

See ya.

Mona.

Let's go. Let's go OK?

Are you done?

Are you done? OK?

Jesus Christ Mona.

I'm gonna go get the car.

She-

What are you gonna do?

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't -

she can't stay here

I know.

I mean, uh she's

fucking nuts. Jordan she's

coocoo bananas nuts

Sylve I know.

I mean I fucking gave up so much for you and you drag me

into your crazy fuck up life.

How the fuck do we get rid of pregnant girl?

I don't know.

What the fuck? I mean-

Jordan

Jordan!

Go!

Jordan!

What Mona! What!

What do you fucking want?

I can't sleep.

Yeah. You're not on my list of favorite people right now.

I know.

Yeah, you're skating on real thin ice.

I know.

Will you sit with me?

Please?

Yeah.

Sure.

Sorry, I ruined your party.

Whatever.

It must be all the hormones.

All hormones all the time.

Stupid baby.

OK Mona what happened with May?

What do you mean?

I mean you've been acting like a freak ever since

you stopped talking to her. So what happened?

She talks about me with her friends

The fuck?

The fuck does that even mean?

She tells my problems to people. And it's my life

and she has no right to do that.

Mona.

After all that woman put us through this is the

breaking point for you?

What the

fuck else is she supposed to talk about with her friends?

She doesn't have anything except her meetings

and trying to make us feel like shit.

She doesn't try to make us feel like shit.

Yeah, I know

but she does a really good job of it.

She's lonely, Jordan. Good.

You should really try talking to her.

Fuck you.

What do you even care?

You said you hated her now anyways.

I do. But

doesn't that just prove how much I love her?

I mean she hate loves you too you know.

Under the circumstances

she did the best she could.

I just wish she could have done better.

Mona what are you gonna do about the baby?

Remember when you were a little girl?

Mona

You used to tell everybody

that we were engaged to be married.

Mona, I'm serious.

What are you going to do about the baby?

People told you that

girls couldn't marry other girls. But you said

you didn't care. And you

you're gonna marry me anyway.

Were you a lesbian back then too?

Jesus what the fuck are you talking about?

When we were little girls. Remember?

No, no not that. I'm trying to

talk to you about something serious.

This child is going to come out of you

any day now and its going to wanna

suck on your tits til their raw, and you're

gonna have to change its shitty diapers and all that.

And you're not prepared.

You don't understand.

I don't appreciate you accusatory tone, Jordan.

Well I don't appreciate you coming over to my house unannounced

and crashing on my couch and then calling all

my friends evil dykes so then

maybe we're even. This is just some bullshit

What the fuck are you doing?

You too Jordan? Really? You too?

Mona, Come back to bed. I keep seeing

people but really seeing them. It's like I strip away

everything I see in their face and

and know about them and then I just see them for who

they really are.

I can't look at you, you know? It's like-

Mona. Everybody is-

Mona I fucking love you.

I fucking care so much about you.

Jordan, Jordan let go

Don't touch me.

Jordan, don't touch me.

:bang:

Fuck!

Oh no, get away from me, get away from me

No. Fuck this. This is my house!

Ow! Fuck you!

I'm so sorry. Jordan I'm so sorry!

I'm so fucked up

right now and I just, I needed you

I needed you so badly and you

you want me to go. And you left me

Jordan. Jordan, you left me.

And I needed you so badly.

Why did you go?

I want my mom.

I want my mommy.

I just want my mom

I just want

my mom

I miss my mom

phone buzzing

Hello?

Hi, honey

Come here. It's OK

Shh it's OK honey.

Do you want to go to bed? OK.

Just give me a second OK. Will you stay here?

OK. Come one sweetheart.

Are you going to be OK baby? OK.

I'm gonna go talk to your sister.

I love you.

Hey May.

Hey Jordan.

Fuck this shit. Give Me a hug. Come Here.

You smell like a bonfire.

I have missed you so much.

Oh my god. How are you?

Are you hungry?

Want some coffee?

I haven't slept, I don't want to be wired all night.

OK.

Alright

I'm not gonna go to sleep

OK. Um

Sorry.

Milk or sugar?

No.

Whoops sorry it's cold in here.

I like your hair.

Hungry?

I can't stay long. Sylve's in the car

You're still with the same girl? The black girl?

Yes, May, I'm with the same black dyke that I've been with

for three years. Okay honey

just get over yourself.

Seriously?

What. No.

You haven't seen me in so long and now you want to start shit?

No, honey I do not want to start shit.

I am not starting shit. I'm just saying

what's the point, right? I'm just saying

you're unhappy, your sister is unhappy, I'm unhappy

Why add to each other's unhappiness?

I just-

Will you be quiet! I have work in the morning!

I fucking hate her.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No I'm not. I fucking hate her.

Fuck. What a horrible person

And that face!

Yikes! May

I know.

Hey, do you want to sit down?

Maybe Sylve could come in.

Please?

Jordan? I don't know what to do.

God, you never do.

OK.

Um

Please

do you think that maybe you can just

sit down for five minutes and we can just...

May, you can't ask me for favors.

You can't ask me for favors right now.

You don't have that right.

OK. OK.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I was totally wrong. I'm sorry. You're right.

Yeah.

You don't have to go. I gotta go

OK. I'll call you

I'll call you.

OK. OK.

Um, Okay

I love you.

I love you.

I'll call you.

OK.

I'll see you soon honey

Hey, uh, Janice!

Suck my dick!

Hey.

What's going on?

Jordan.

Baby,

what is it?

I don't know.

I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up.

What's up?

What's up?

Well

Let's see, uh

My pregnant daughter is losing her marbles.

My lesbian daughter really fucking hates me.

The only guys that'll go out with me

are fucking retards

and someone left the

cake out in the rain.

You're smoking.

I am smoking.

I thought you quit. I didn't quit.

You shouldn't breathe this in honey.

Why don't you go back to bed.

I can't sleep.

Jordan left?

She's gone.

That's good. I don't think

I don't think I could look at her

anymore.

Are you gonna sleep on the couch tonight?

Yeah. I think after the day

you've had, maybe you could use

a bed to yourself.

We could share the bed if you want.

Alright, well I'm only gonna do it this

one time. But don't think I'm

gonna let your big fat pregnant ass

hog the whole fucking bed.

I need my room.

OK

I get the wall.

I get the not wall.

Come here honey.

Come here.

I love you.

I love you so much. I don't ever

want to fight with you again. I love you too Mom.

-Water dripping-

Mona.

Mom

Mona.

Mother fuck.