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LEMONADE JOE OR THE HORSE OPERA

Based on the Play by Screenplay by

Music by

Performed by Karel Vlach's Orchestra

And the Film Symphony Orchestra Conducted by

Lyrics / Sung by Choreography by

Art Director

Sound Editor / Film Editor

Make Up Artist / Costume Designer Animation / Art Director's Assistant

Set Designer / Costumes by / Make Up

Editor's Assistant Chief Lighting Technician

Sound Effects / Still Photographer

Associate Producers Production Assistant

Second Cameraman / Camera Assistant Special Effects

Co-Director / Director's Assistants

Cast

Executive in Charge of Production

Artistic Cooperation

Director of Photography

Directed by

Made by

This movie is dedicated to the rough heroes of the Wild West

who avenged injustice and protected the Law - no matter what.

Enough dog fighting, fellows!

Let's tap a different keg now, let art entertain us!

Let us welcome our grandiose diva,

our fabulous Arizona Warbler...

Miss Tornado Lou!

She will be mine!

♪ As the saloon thickens with smoke ♪ ♪ and liquor from my glass I drink, ♪

♪ I dream my hero will come one day, ♪ ♪ my heart's true champion, I dare say. ♪

♪ Only to him I will gladly grant ♪ ♪ all that is precious to my heart. ♪

♪ I've no idea, if he comes soon. ♪ ♪ Again smoke spreads in the saloon. ♪

- What's she saying? - Something about smoke in the saloon.

- What bloke? - Smoke! There's too much smoke here!

♪ As the saloon thickens with smoke ♪ ♪ and liquor from my glass I drink, ♪

♪ I dream my hero will come one day, ♪

♪ my heart's true champion, I daresay. ♪

The drinks are on me, gentlemen!

One Kill Devil for me!

Lou, you must be mine!

I dream my hero will come one day, the champion of my heart...

Why can't I be your champion? Doug Badman.

The owner of the flourishing Trigger Whiskey Saloon. Why not?

I dream of a man who would make me a different, better woman.

Pooh! Silly dreams!

Only then I will learn what the sacred feeling of love really is.

I'm dead certain.

Gimme a super Kill Devil!

Hearken, my dear friends! The Arizona Revival calls you!

Take this instead, my good man.

Read it and you shall bless my doings.

Read this, my friends.

Once you've read it, you will never touch liquor again.

The Arizona Revival...

...A commune of brothers and sisters

who will pay the ransom to liberate you from the slavery of alcoholism.

My friends...

My friends, are you afraid our Wild West will be less wild

if you fill your glasses with spring water

or even fresh milk? Uhm...

- On the contrary... - On the contrary...

...If you give up spirits, you'll draw your pistols even faster.

Be frank, mister gunman.

Does liquor really make you a sharper shooter?

Isn't it so, Daddy?

My fiddle! My fiddle!

My poor fiddle!

The kitten is showing her claws, eh? Let's give her some milk!

One Kill Devil for the little lady here!

And a glass of Kolaloka lemonade for me.

Did you say a glass of Kolaloka lemonade, stranger?

I did, mister gunman.

Then you must be...

...Lemonade Joe!

So what?

I believe that this young lady

and this gentleman

are waiting for your apology, mister gunman!

You'd better fall on your dirty knees before them

and call yourself a mangy coyote, you foul skunk!

I will count to three.

If you do not apologize,

I will let my Smith and Wesson guns speak.

That are hanging darn low.

Right.

Well?

One, two, three.

It's him, my heart's true champion.

There are ladies present, mister gunman.

Thank you. You are our brave rescuer.

My name is Ezra Goodman.

And this is my daughter Winnifred.

They call me Lemonade Joe.

And me the Arizona Warbler.

Tornado Lou, I'm a performer.

I asked for a glass of Kolaloka lemonade.

How about a shot of Trigger Whiskey instead? On the house.

No, thank you, I never touch spirits out of principle.

Liquor has never been a gunman's best friend.

It weakens the whole body and particularly one's accurate aim.

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

So, bartender, a glass of Kolaloka lemonade for me.

- For me too. - Me too.

And one for me.

We don't sell Kolaloka lemonade!

In that case, allow me to use my own supplies.

Thank you, Mr. Kolaloka!

- Don't go! - Don't go!

I'll be back.

Don't bother!

And I won't come alone, Doug Badman.

I will bring the Law!

A fellow revivalist...

Hip hip, Arizona!

Or am I mistaken?

You are a member of the Arizona Revival, are you not?

No. I am a lone wolf.

You're a knight protecting the law and avenging wrongdoing!

- A fine day, isn't it? - Yes, quite nice.

Lovely.

Pettifoggers! No dead bodies so far.

Let's hope the weather lasts.

Well, a little rain would do no harm.

But the good gunman wishes the weather to last.

Help, robbers!

- Do you like gunfights, miss... - Winnifred.

A lovely name.

A lovely name indeed.

We want Kolaloka! We want Kolaloka!

Do you believe in its beneficial effects now?

I certainly do.

Have faith, my friends!

Faith can move mountains.

So why couldn't it bring you supplies from Kolaloka and Son, huh?

Adios!

You love him, my child, don't you?

Yes, I do love him!

Tornado Lou...

An untamed lioness, a raging tempest, a femme fatale...

You and that wacky lemonade sucker?!

Don't be vulgar!

Only he can make me a different, better woman!

Only to him, my dearest mother,

I will give the greatest treasure of my womanhood.

After we get married, of course!

Dear Lord, I beg Thee to send me Kolaloka lemonade!

Mr. Goodman! Mr. Goodman! A telegram! A telegram!

A telegram... Pardon me!

Mr. Goodman!

A telegram...

We are sending you ten carloads of lemonade. - Stop.

- On long term credit. - Stop.

We also appoint you as our general agent... - Stop.

...For Stetson City and the surrounding area.

Kolaloka and Son.

Oh, Hosanna!

♪ Arizona, Arizona is a land ♪ ♪ where true men you will find. ♪

♪ Cards are flipping, bullets whizzing, ♪ ♪ you may hear cattle joyfully mooing. ♪

♪ It's such a pleasant place to be, ♪ ♪ you'll never regret settling here. ♪

♪ Our Arizona men are so polite ♪ ♪ and gentle to us women. ♪

♪ With their gentlemanly blow ♪ ♪ they give them villains what for. ♪

♪ And to show they are progressive, ♪ ♪ they shoot straight from their hip. ♪

Pif! Paf!

When a Kolaloka consumer shoots, there's no need to call a doctor.

Come on, boys, come on!

How could he vanish from my life, the true champion of my heart.

In my dreams I'm by his side,

the sweetheart of my life.

Forget about him, darling!

Business may be bad but I'm still disgustingly rich.

Let's go to Europe.

To Paris, Monte Carlo, Carlsbad!

Grimpo will carry our luggage.

Serve the stranger.

- You've insulted the lady! - I don't see any lady.

I see you're a vegetarian, huh?

Give them back to him as soon as he starts behaving like a good boy.

Brother!

Bro... brother?

- A cocoa spot... - Of the size of a Mexican dollar!

Our precious birthmark.

- Horace! - Doug!

It's been a long time...

Since we shared the sad fate of foundlings.

Found on the prairie by darn rough buffalo hunters.

When we used to hang around the gay towns of the frontier.

Dodge City!

Abilene!

When we used to ambush stagecoaches, rob banks and shoot sheriffs.

- The jolly days of our youth! - Well...

It ain't exactly crowded here.

Is there any way I can help you, you old rattlesnake?

I've got really tough competition.

Pah!

Did you say "pah", stranger?

Yes, I did say "pah"!

Pah to Kolaloka lemonade?

Yes!

Pah to Kolaloka lemonade!

A lunatic!

An anarchist!

No, gentlemen. I am neither.

I am...

Hogofogo!

Yes, Hogofogo!

With 12 notches on the butt of my Derringer.

Hogofogo wanted by the police in five states!

And arrested in Stetson City!

It's embarrassing but you have won.

Hogofogo...

Hey, bartender, a proper drink for a proper gunman.

- You mean Kolaloka lemonade, don't you? - No!

- I mean Trigger Whiskey! - We don't sell alcoholic beverages!

A big mistake!

If consumed in small doses, alcohol is harmless in whatever quantity.

Am I dreaming or am I awake?

I'll rub off your bloom, my sweet blossom.

I am struck by Cupid's arrow.

Where can I soothe my aching heart

with a glass of Trigger Whiskey? Where?

Where?

Only at the Trigger Whiskey Saloon, mister gunman!

And where can I enjoy the company of real men?

There as well!

By the way...

I believe you ought to change their diapers, mademoiselle.

- This way. - This way.

♪ Whiskey is my mucho gusto ♪ ♪ without it my mouth is dry and dusty. ♪

♪ If my dad had drunk whiskey every day ♪ ♪ he'd still be alive and kicking today. ♪

♪ When a shot sparkles in your hand ♪ ♪ the saloon profits are more than grand. ♪

♪ Life's worth living and that's no trick ♪

♪ when you've got ♪ ♪ heaps of whiskey to drink. ♪

♪ Its fancy label and nicely round bottle ♪

♪ makes even Manitou long after firewater. ♪

♪ Who wants to be a real man, ♪ ♪ should be fond of his glass ♪

♪ filled with whiskey to the top ♪ ♪ and a gal sitting on his lap. ♪

♪ Whiskey is my mucho gusto ♪ ♪ without it my mouth is dry and dusty. ♪

♪ If my dad had drunk whiskey every day ♪ ♪ he'd still be alive and kicking today. ♪

♪ When a shot sparkles in your hand ♪ ♪ the saloon profits are more than grand. ♪

♪ Life's worth living and that's no trick ♪

♪ when you've got ♪ ♪ heaps of whiskey to drink. ♪

♪ Its fancy label and nicely round bottle ♪

♪ makes even Manitou long after firewater. ♪

♪ Who wants to be a real man, ♪ ♪ should be fond of his glass ♪

♪ filled with whiskey to the top ♪ ♪ and a gal sitting on his lap. ♪

♪ Whiskey is my mucho gusto ♪ ♪ without it my mouth is dry and dusty. ♪

♪ If my dad had drunk whiskey every day ♪ ♪ he'd still be alive and kicking today. ♪

♪ When a shot sparkles in your hand ♪ ♪ the saloon profits are more than grand. ♪

♪ Life's worth living and that's no trick ♪

♪ when you've got... ♪

♪ when you've got ♪ ♪ heaps of whiskey to drink. ♪

That will do!

No! Not her!

Oh yes! She's all I want!

- Mother dear, will I ever be his... - Oh yes!

You will be mine!

Here, on holy soil.

- My sweet duckling. - You creepy spider!

- My fair fawn! - You slimy snake!

Enough zoology!

So... Now you know everything.

Protector of the Law, avenger of injustice, while...

While I'm just a travelling salesman selling lemonade.

- Do you despise me? - How can you say such a thing?

An accredited sales agent of Kolaloka and Son for the whole Southwest?

With a net salary of one grand.

And a 10% bonus before taxes!

Darling! I'm all yours!

If you give me 5% from your bonus.

- 4% - I'll give you even 4.5%, sweetheart.

Am I worthy of you at all? Are you a woman or an angel?

No! Not now!

I understand, not here at the cemetery.

Never mind the cemetery!

My Daddy's business will soon go bankrupt.

What happened?

♪ Don't you see my thirsty lips ♪ ♪ and my yearning body? ♪

♪ My fervent heart is broken into pieces, ♪ ♪ while yours is as cold as ice. ♪

♪ I know my love is like flame, ♪ ♪ burning me from the inside. ♪

♪ When I see a man, ♪ ♪ I'm done for, Amen. ♪

♪ And my heart's not to blame. ♪

I said I'd be back, Doug Badman.

And that I would bring the Law.

Or Kolaloka.

Kolaloka is the Law.

I'm not armed, gunman.

I'd be wasting my bullets on you, trickster!

♪ Don't you see my thirsty lips ♪

♪ and my arms reaching out to you? ♪

♪ Embrace me in your ♪ ♪ manly arms and take ♪

♪ what has always belonged to you. ♪

♪ Hold me in your arms, ♪ ♪ it can't do me no harm, ♪

♪ my ill fame is black as coal tar! ♪

♪ Coal tar... ♪

Don't shoot!

Thank you, I can handle this myself.

Fire! Don't fire! Fire! Don't fire! Fire! Don't fire!

Fire! Don't fire! Fire! Don't fire! Fire! Don't fire!

Take the lady away!

I'll have a word with you later, barfly!

Yes, sir.

- Occupied. - Never mind, I've got plenty of time.

Once again, my friends, Good has conquered Evil.

And thanks to what?

- To what? - Kolaloka lemonade!

Right, thanks to Kolaloka the teetotaler is the winner!

And the boozer is the loser!

What's he saying?

He's playing on words. The boozer is the loser.

It seems rather out of tune.

And it'll be even more after it hears this...

♪ Listen to this divine serenade ♪ ♪ about the amazing Kolaloka lemonade. ♪

♪ With my Smith and Wesson at my hip... ♪

♪ At his hip. ♪

♪ Kolaloka lemonade I always sip. ♪

♪ Bread or butter or pretty girls ♪ ♪ I can do without for many days. ♪

♪ My seventh heaven, my livelihood ♪ ♪ is Kolaloka lemonade for good. ♪

Everybody for Kolaloka!

♪ What is ammo for a colt, ♪ ♪ what is water for a trout, ♪

♪ what is whatever you like, ♪ ♪ what is soda for whiskey, ♪

♪ what is a rhyme for a poem, ♪ ♪ what is a strophe for a rhyme... ♪

♪ That's exactly what ♪ ♪ Kolaloloka is for me. ♪

♪ That's what Kolaloka is for me. ♪ ♪ Kolaloka. ♪

No! That!

You have Kolaloka in your bed?

At least Kolaloka...

Lou.

Take a look.

Take a look.

They are worth 500 cattle.

Fancy 250 beasts hanging from each of your ears.

It's easier to give than to take.

How easily I would give myself...

...To him.

- Only for whites, nigger! - Don't be silly, he's at my heels!

Forgive me for entering without knocking.

Do sit down.

Thank you. I'll rather remain standing.

This gentleman, however, would like to sit down

and practice his signature.

You want me to sign this?

I do.

If on the trigger you want to be quick, Kolaloka is what you should drink!

Hogofogo.

Thank you for your autograph.

This deserves a drink. May I, miss?

Well, a sip of spring water will do me no harm.

Oh, spirits!

I'll be yours, Doug, if you spare him!

- It's a deal! - But not for me!

To kill a defenseless man? What villainy!

Villainy? The word is music to my ears.

There!

♪ There's no greater pleasure ♪ ♪ for a true villain like me ♪

♪ than to empty his gun barrel ♪ ♪ on his sworn enemy. ♪

♪ Cold and stiff will soon be ♪ ♪ a man once so brave. ♪

♪ In no time he will be feeding ♪ ♪ worms in his grave. ♪

♪ Let's finish this off ♪ ♪ in the easiest way. ♪

♪ One bullet in his belly ♪ ♪ another between the eyes. ♪

♪ Cold and stiff will soon be ♪ ♪ a man once so brave. ♪

♪ Faster than he can say Jesse James. ♪

Go away, my friend.

- But Lou, you promised... - Yes, I did promise...

I'm yours but you have to go away now.

- Where are they? - Gone!

- How come I'm still alive? - Because of me.

That's strange.

You have saved my life a second time.

- Why? - Because I love you.

Only you can make me a different, better woman.

Alright...

And what do you want in return?

- For what? - For saving my life.

But I love you.

That's why it will cost me even more.

You cannot buy love!

I see now. You love me free of charge, don't you?

You poor wretch.

You have all the right to become a different, better woman.

Do you know what this is? It's a cheque for 5 dollars.

Five dollars in words.

Take a good look at it.

And maybe it will bring more decent thoughts into your mind.

How low you have fallen!

I hate you! I hate you!

Adios!

I hate you!

Lincoln and Kolaloka, that's something new.

Where the hell does he get such ideas?

- Who knows... where. - It's all over the town.

- Joe must die. - I'm all for it!

Does it mean that you don't love him anymore?

- I want to spit on his coffin. - So do I.

- But how do we get him into it? - You're a man, aren't you?

We're men, aren't we?

Is anybody here?

Good people.

That's even better.

Good people, give a blind old man

a sip of refreshing and strengthening Kolaloka lemonade.

Horace, why the silly disguise?

- Because Joe will pay dearly for it. - Tell us how!

When tomorrow morning, in Main Street...

- Goodbye, darling. - Bye.

Let me take you across the street, sir.

Get lost, you little bastard!

May I take you across the street, my dear man?

- May the Lord reward you, young man. - Oh, I'm not...

- Madam - I'm not married yet.

Not for long, miss.

Oh, the sidewalk. The Lord would reward you even more

if you take me to the Trigger Whiskey Saloon.

- To the Trigger Whiskey Saloon? - You must be wondering

what an old man like me wants in a place like that, aren't you?

Livelihood. One has to earn one's living.

Their piano needs tuning, you see.

I'm an old, blind, sick, lonely,

and poor, very poor piano tuner.

I know every piano in Arizona.

And I tune... Where's the door?

And I tune... Which way? Ah, this way. I tune pianos from dawn till dusk.

May the Lord give you good earnings, my good man.

As I can hear, nobody is in.

- Oh, a sofa. - No, it's me.

See? It seems it would be best if you walk me to the piano.

I smell vice here.

It's the foreign perfumes of the fallen women.

A minor is all I have left.

Oh, it seems to be very serious.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, mister tuner.

You're a true artist, poor man!

I used to be long ago.

Grand pianos took me to the highest circles.

I played before crowned heads.

- And then... - What then?

Bad company and spirits.

Hellish spirits!

And poker, miss.

Squinting at other player's cards under poor illumination

cost me my eyesight. And then

- What then? - Gwendolin...

She was an angel, bearing her fiancé's downfall as a cross,

- she was fading before my eyes till - Till?

- Till what? - Till...

Till she passed away.

I see it as if it were today.

Straight from the hospital I walk,

where among its walls so dreary

a girl with snow white skin is lying,

so weak and weary.

♪ Yesterday her doctor told me: ♪

♪ Your girl is badly off. ♪

♪ Today I find her body all covered ♪ ♪ with a cloth. ♪

♪ Tomorrow there'll be nine girls at the ♪ ♪ graveyard, so fair and dressed in black. ♪

♪ Yet only eight of them will walk ♪ ♪ that day from the cemetery gate. ♪

♪ Right before my eyes ♪ ♪ the world turned suddenly black, ♪

♪ I don't give a damn now, ♪ ♪ I'm ready to face my fate. ♪

♪ And when I kick the bucket, ♪ ♪ forget about sorrow and don't regret. ♪

♪ It'll be a grand spectacle ♪ ♪ the West will never forget. ♪

♪ With rings on my fingers, ♪ ♪ on my jacket a diamond pin ♪

♪ to tarp up my stiff corps ♪ ♪ lying in the coffin. ♪

♪ The purpose of these trinkets ♪ ♪ is to make everybody see ♪

♪ what a grand life I had lived ♪ ♪ and what a hotshot I had once been. ♪

♪ The funeral will be a sight ♪ ♪ fit for the gods ♪

♪ if the coffin is carried ♪ ♪ by four heavyweight thugs. ♪

♪ For being such a mobster, ♪ ♪ always running wild, ♪

♪ honky-tonk gals will escort ♪ ♪ me to the yard, ♪

♪ where a black band will be playing ♪ ♪ smashing farewell tunes. ♪

♪ I've come to the end of my ♪ ♪ heart-breaking story, ♪

♪ so grievous and woeful as the most ♪ ♪ somber of all graveyard blues. ♪

You've suffered terribly, poor man.

Oh yes, I've suffered.

But as I see, I mean as I can hear,

your hankie is soaking wet.

You've wept your kind heart into it.

May I offer you my hankie, as pure and untouched as you are?

Thank you.

Inhale, my gorgeous!

Where are you going?

Where I'm going? What business is it of yours, sonny?

It is my business. Miss Goodman is my bride to be.

They call me Lemonade Joe.

Pleased to meet you, I'm Doctor Quartz, a family doctor.

- What's wrong with her? - Nothing much.

She got liquored up. It's not for the first time.

- That can't be. She hates liquor. - She hates liquor, eh?

As far as I know she's quite fond of moonshine and cologne.

And her favorite is ether. Smell for yourself!

You're right.

You'd better give me a hand with her. I'll treat her in my surgery.

In the meantime, you can comfort her father, he needs it.

So do I.

Courage, young man, courage!

Cheerio, blondie!

Lemonade Joe...

...Do you have any idea what a damn fool you are? - I don't.

I will tell you tonight at midnight

...in Dead Man's Valley.

Your fiancée will also be there.

And that night she will become the object of my innate perversion.

I hope you will come to congratulate me.

Sincerely yours Horace Badman,

alias Dr. Quartz,

alias Hogofogo.

Are the nights cold?

- What's that? - Are the nights cold?

Oh, yes.

Then I should put on...

...My warm woollies.

♪ It was in Lincoln last year ♪ ♪ when Jim Stapleton was playing poker. ♪

♪ He got into a fight, the sheriff cuffed ♪ ♪ him and took him the county jail. ♪

♪ On the way to Santa Fe Jim told him: ♪ ♪ Sheriff, whether you like it or not, ♪

♪ I'll get away and be free as a bird. ♪

♪ That evening at Johnny's Bar ♪

♪ we were sipping our coffee, ♪

♪ wondering how's Jim doing ♪

♪ in good old Santa Fe. ♪

♪ Then a lantern was smashed ♪ ♪ with a big bang ♪

♪ and the whole place ♪ ♪ went pitch dark. ♪

♪ A figure was standing in the doorway ♪ ♪ and a shiver went down our back, ♪

♪ it was suddenly clear ♪ ♪ that it was some kind of a ghost. ♪

♪ In Santa Fe at that very moment, ♪

♪ I'm telling you all that I know, ♪

♪ when he was climbing out the window ♪

♪ poor old Jim was shot dead. ♪

Get hold of him!

Hold him!

Stupid idiots!

It's all a big mistake, madam.

An inhospitable place indeed.

- What's this? - We want to take a picture with him.

A souvenir, eh?

I want one too.

The trap is all set, madam. Nothing will help him get away this time

- Horace sends you this. - Yuck, Kolaloka!

It's whiskey!

Don't hit the bottle, amigo, we haven't won yet.

Our bait.

Why did you come here, madam?

I want to see him die!

Are you going to torture him? Tell me all the disgusting details.

A quite ingenious method of torture.

Oh, how I hate him!

Hands up, of course!

May I ask you to take their guns, miss?

He's amazing! Yet he must die.

I'll be right there.

Oh...

How thoughtful of you!

If on the trigger you want to be quick, Kolaloka is what you should drink!

What have I done?

I haven't stopped loving him!

- Why aren't you eating? - I have no appetite

when I think of the dirty trick you played on that pure innocent girl.

Purity and innocence! What relish for a scamp like me.

You beast, if it weren't for the cocoa spot of the size of a Mexican dollar,

I'd never believe you are my brother!

Allow me to introduce the fellows.

Coyote Kid and Pancho Kid.

I don't give a fig about your kids.

Soon you'll talk differently, sonny!

I'm a double-dyed butcher. See?

And torture's my sheer delight!

No!

No! No!

- Don't listen to him, darling. - I'll cover your ears!

You should be ashamed of yourselves!

In the end, we'll throw you in here...

That's horrible!

Into this well.

Then I'd like you to mark it clearly as unfit for drinking!

He's a saint.

Yes, I am bad!

But you don't know how sad a fate of a foundling can be.

Nothing but beating and despise...

And in the end, unrequited love that gave me ill advice.

Can you ever forgive me?

Poor little foundling. I forgive you everything.

He forgives me.

Very nice, madam, but get out my way now! I've got work to do!

If you haven't got the nerve, it's best you go home and let me work.

When it's over, I'll send a smoke signal to Horace

to get ready for a visit from the dead man's fiancée.

- Bring me a cigar! - Three!

You know what, soppy! Say that Kolaloka is slip-slop.

You stinking opossum!

Say it again!

You double-dyed stinking opossum!

- Let's get going! - Yes, sir.

There!

- Wait for this. - Give it to me!

Bravo, bravo!

- Why the sudden change, madam? - It was just a petty nervous breakdown.

Let me add a final touch.

There we go!

To think I have forgiven you!

Because you're a stuck up idiot!

How about that souvenir picture?

Let me take it. - Why not? - Fine!

- Ehm... stand next to each other. Yes! - Stand behind me.

Why don't you sit on the well...

- That's it. Yes! - Sit on the well!

And let me see your nice profiles!

That's it! Coyote Kid a little bit forward and Grimpo a little bit back.

Yes, nicely together!

Ready? Watch the birdie!

- Joe! - Winnie!

I suffer and yet, I give you my blessing.

Well!

He was an enemy worthy of our respect after all.

And what about my child?

She'll fall victim to my lowest urges.

Oh, that's horrible! Horrible!

Poor father!

Have you forgotten that despite being foundlings

we still could have loving parents somewhere?

Forgot or not, life's extravaganza is galloping like a wild mustang

and nobody's interested in what has happened in the first act.

Where are you going?

To fluff up the love nest.

Bravo, girls.

Spicy delicacies.

Well chilled sparkling wine.

Pictures kindling passion.

Sensual waltz.

My inevitable charm.

An irresistible combination guaranteed to melt the heart of every woman.

- Father! - Daughter!

Father-in-law! - Son-in-law!

- What is she doing here? - Don't be rash, Daddy.

- Lou is different now. - Better.

She too wants to fight for a more decent Arizona.

I do and I want to open a parlor house

where only Kolaloka lemonade will be served.

I am deeply touched, miss.

A praiseworthy intention indeed.

Excuse me. I need to change so that

So that?

The battle is not ours yet.

She should have been here by now.

She should come any moment now.

Music!

Yes, sir!

When I tap the glass with a spoon,

- you'll start playing. - Yes, sir!

Am I so hot because of the heat or is it passion?

Oh my!

Why aren't you wearing your usual color?

This one suits an avenger better. My last will...

- Should I not return... - No!

Should I not return, give it to my father.

Mr. Charles William Kolaloka,

President of the Kolaloka and Son Company.

- You are - His son.

A gunman and a tycoon's son? What more do you want, dear?

- And his future heir. - Universal?

Fortunately... I mean unfortunately.

I would have had siblings had not it been for that fateful day...

When my parents travelled to new settlements in covered wagons,

they brought their young ones with them.

Then all of a sudden, a hurricane struck

and blew my siblings far away.

I have never seen them since.

And you weren't blown away then?

I remained with my parents because...

...because I wasn't born yet.

So now you know everything.

We shall meet again.

I hope.

He will come back, dear.

I hope I'm not intruding.

What an interesting natural phenomenon!

A man changes to solid rock.

He's got a pulse, his condition isn't so hopeless after all.

- You damned bastard! - A warm human word at last.

Excuse my casual attire.

Thank you, but I eat fruit only for dessert.

Let's sit down, shall we?

- What do you want from me? - Nothing.

Only a game of poker perhaps.

If you win, you will not only get this toy

but also the right to a fair duel with pistols.

And if I lose?

I'll shoot you like a stray dog!

You have no right to kill me.

You forget you're wanted in four states.

But this is the fifth.

Enough words.

That's not how a gentleman plays.

That's how a gentleman plays with an outlaw.

What a scum!

- How many cards do you want? - None, thanks.

It's good that I've got three aces in my pocket.

Damn it, where are they?

- Perhaps in another pocket. - Do you think so?

Calm down, I must be systematic.

Thank you for the amusing performance.

I've got two pairs, and you?

You've lost, cabbage head!

As you wish!

Pump as much lead into me as you please.

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

If on the trigger you want to be quick, Kolaloka is what you should drink!

- I've heard this before. - You have and you will hear it again.

- And if I sign it? - You're free to go.

I thought you were a man of the Law?

What's good for Kolaloka is good for the Law.

But I did the worst things I could do to you.

- Life is a battle. - I wanted to debauch your fiancée.

It's all a matter of taste. Will you sign it?

Permit me to have a glass of well chilled sparkling wine.

By all means.

It's true, Mother dear.

Your daughter will marry a rich man.

I won't disturb your contemplation.

I'll go and pick some graveyard flowers.

Bye bye.

It's just wishful thinking, my gorgeous.

- Devil! - Angel!

Brutal violence will triumph!

No! You beasty pig! You piggy beast!

First a sweet kiss and then You have three guesses.

Here's what you deserve, you warbling frump!

Lou!

- What have you done? - Oh, a mere trifle.

My brother and yet a monster.

You've screwed up!

Poor girl, your tornado days are over.

How can this be? A cocoa spot.

Good afternoon.

I'm sorry for being late, darling.

Is this possible?

A cocoa spot of the size of a Mexican dollar.

What do you see?

A cocoa spot of the size of a Mexican dollar.

The same birthmark.

That means that Doug...

...Was my brother.

Look here!

A cocoa spot of the size of a Mexican dollar.

She's your sister.

- And what about me? - What?

Look!

A Mexican spot of the size of cocoa dollar. No, it's the other way round.

Let me see!

No!

- Brother! - Goodbye forever!

My goodness, you're a mess!

I only got shot twice in the heart, once in the stomach and so on.

A single drop was enough to cure me!

Wounds, shock or sore feet...

...Kolaloka will cure all.

Thousands of thank-you letters!

Recommended by medical experts! Even in cases of clinical death.

Daddy!

Daddy. This is her!

I've met her father already.

Let me embrace you, my dear!

Oil!

Gold!

Mr. Kolaloka, you've gained 5 million dollars on the stock exchange!

- Billion! - Billion? Five billion dollars?

I knew that Good would conquer Evil.

It's so touching. I almost wish I wasn't a villain.

No, son, our business needs all kinds of talented people.

Villain or hero, we are still one family.

And so...

- And so... - And so...

Whiskola.

Alcohol-free!

Alcoholic!

Lemonade!

For alcoholics and teetotalers.

Whiskola.

Whiskola.

THE END