Original subtitles

You're an early bird, Miss Melman.

- Morning, Roxanne. - Morning, Benny.

- Morning, Mr. Brackman. - Good morning, Benny.

Oh, I told your brother he could wait in your office

and feed the fish.

So!

What are you doing here, Erroll?

Good morning to you too.

Get out of my chair.

Tell me, Dougie, is this some kind of situation

where my brother could become my stepfather?

Not that it's any of your business,

but I happen to care deeply about your mother

and I believe she cares deeply about me.

Does your wife know, about all this deep caring

going on between you two?

You're a disgrace--

Weaseling your way in here,

looking to exploit your own mother.

Not my mother, Dougie, you.

Get out!

I refuse to let you turn this into something

shameful and tawdry.

Look at you, the paragon of virtue.

Out, before I knock you down.

- You and what army? - That's it.

Alright, I'm going, but let me tell you this, Dougie.

If you think I'm never going to forget the sight of you

and my mother rolling around

in the hay like a couple of old seals--

And let me tell you something else,

you break that old lady's heart,

and I'll kill you!

You understand me?

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Moving along, Lewiston versus Bates.

Defendant's got a motion for summary judgment.

- They'll probable win. - On what grounds?

- Merits. - Great.

- Auten versus Auten. - Nothing exciting.

Couple of pretrial motions today and tomorrow.

So far, your basic divorce.

Crutcher versus Boland.

- We go to trial today. - Wait a second.

I thought this was Stuart's case.

Yeah, it is. But I had to bring in a litigator, and Jonathan--

Hold it. Hold it.

Why on earth are we even taking this to court?

Gee, I don't know, Douglas, maybe it's because

we represent a 74-year-old widow

against a sleazy business manager

who bilked her for every cent she had.

But it makes no difference.

The sleazy business manager

has hidden all his assets

and there's nothing to collect here.

The client wants a judgment against him no matter what,

if she can't get money, at least she'll have

a satisfaction of having a moral victory.

But we took this on one third contingency.

33% of our moral victory doesn't pay our rent.

Alright, Douglas!

Well, can't we at least assign

a more experienced attorney?

Like who, Douglas?

Michael's tied up with the Schonberg case.

Ann and Abby have the Lewiston case.

And Victor's on deposition safari in Wisconsin.

Speaking of which,

what's going on with that, Victor?

Well, the acrobats in Eau Claire,

they're a pretty tight-lipped group.

But one of them Yolanda

did tell me that one of the twins told her

that Byron Debeque lived kind of a double life.

Publicly, he's the pillar of the community but privately,

he made no secret about his fondness

for fairly bizarre sexual practices.

Like what?

Apparently one year, he spent over $15,000

at the old English saddlery and bridle store.

Is that an unusual amount?

Is it if you don't have a horse.

And I never did it with twins.

Yeah, well, it's not as great as you'd think.

Anyway I've got to go to Worcester, Massachusetts Now,.

Yolanda tells me that the twins run a chicken farm up there

that they inherited from Debeque.

Chickens? Yuck.

Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can get them open up for me either.

I bet you are.

On that note, we're adjourned.

Oh, don't forget, the bar association's

cocktail party is tonight.

Leland, can I get a ride with you?

My car is in the shop.

Well, I'm going directly from the club.

I can run you over there.

Leland?

Stuart.

I'm very nervous about turning Jonathan losing a trial.

What's to lose, Douglas?

You said yourself there's no money to be gotten.

So even if you win, you lose.

I might as well let Jonathan get the trial experience.

But at what cost?

I don't want the firm responsible for smoke bombs

going off in the courthouse.

No, I think Jonathan knows better than that.

Stuart, you better keep a close eye on him.

- Were you looking for me? - Mmm.

You know, that guy Jerry I'm dating?

Well, he's got a friend, David Myer.

Thought it would be fun for the four of us to go out.

What's he like?

He's single, he's loaded.

He has a pulse.

Sounds perfect.

Wednesday night, doll.

Maison Richard.

Oh, nice.

But of course.

[horn honking]

What's the need for increased support here, Mr. Phillips?

My client sacrificed her career for her husband,

Judge. It's only right that the husband--

You're seeking modification of a temporary support order

with the same argument you used six weeks ago.

I know, that, Judge. But since then she's resumed her writing.

She desperately needs an office to do the writing--

She's got a five-bedroom house.

She wants to get her master's degree.

She needs to hire full-time help

and she's very much interested in

journeying to Banaras this spring

as part of the research for her current book.

Banaras is in the Ganges river?

That's right, your honor.

Mr. Phillips, I am not pleased.

There is nothing exigent or even different about

your client's circumstances.

And I don't much like attorneys happily prancing

into my court asking me to change my mind.

I also suspect this motion is either an opportunity

for you to pad your fees or for your client

to victimize her husband.

Mr. Becker, your attempt to reduce the support order

is equally out of line.

It too smacks of retaliation

and I'm hereby denying both your motions.

What about conditional garnishment, Judge?

This is very embarrassing to my client and I would move--

Sorry, the garnishment stands.

Your client's credit reports suggest a strong propensity

to ignore payments, counselor.

- He won't be ignoring these. - But, your honor--

It's only embarrassing if he fails to comply.

Otherwise his employer will never know. Motion denied.

I'll hear any further pretrial motions tomorrow.

Have a lovely day.

Mrs. Crutcher, what was your reaction

to the idea of investing in a gold mine?

I told him to forget it.

I didn't even want to risk my money on stocks.

But at some point, you changed your mind.

As he told me that the geologists

and the other experts were positive,

that this was the investment opportunity

of a million lifetimes.

That he was even putting his own mother into it.

Then he took my hand and he said,

"Mrs. Crutcher, I wouldn't let you do it

if I wasn't so sure about it."

Uh-huh? So you invested?

Yes, I put in 50,000.

I had another $50,000 in the money market so I said,

"Well, why not take a little chance?"

Then what happened?

Well, it was about two months later,

- I didn't get my check. - Your check?

Oh, Mr. Boland had me on a budget.

You know, a plan I'd get a monthly check for $2,000.

About $600 went to pay off the mortgage

and the rest of it was for my living expenses.

Well, anyway, it was about the 10th of the month

and I still hadn't got it, so I called him,

and that's when he told me.

Mrs. Crutcher, what did he tell you?

He said there was no gold.

I couldn't believe it.

I'd lost $50,000.

Then he told me I'd lost the other $50,000.

every penny I had.

What happened to the $50,000 in the money market?

It went into the gold mine too.

They had to do some extra drilling or something.

God, he just took it!

So he didn't tell you he was dipping

into the money market account?

No, he didn't tell me a thing.

He just spent all my money.

So what happened?

I lost my home.

I was broke so I couldn't make the payments.

The bank took it.

I lost my home.

My husband worked so hard for it.

He-he was putting a little money together

so we could live right.

He used to say,

"This is for the days that we can enjoy."

Seven years ago, I lost him, and Now,--

Now, I've lost everything he worked for.

Where do you live now, ma'am?

I live in a studio apartment.

I-I have to take a bus to the grocery store.

You did this to me!

- You did this. Woman: Objection!

- Mrs. Crutcher. - How could you?

- Objection. - Mrs. Crutcher, please.

I'm sorry, but I have nothing.

I'm 74 years old, and I have nothing to live on.

I'm afraid.

I don't know, what I'm going to do. [sobbing]

No further questions.

Mrs. Crutcher, with respect to the gold mine,

did Mr. Boland make any statements of facts

that were not true?

Well, he told me it was a sure thing and--

I'm not interested in predictions or projections,

Mrs. Crutcher, just statements of fact.

Did he make any factual statements

that were not true?

Well, I don't know,.

And who made the final decision

as to whether to invest in this gold mine or not?

I did.

And when you signed a power of attorney

expressly authorizing Mr. Boland

to use the additional funds in the money market account,

he told you that it might be necessary

to use the additional $50,000

to protect your investment, correct?

But he said it was so unlikely--

Yes or no, ma'am?

Did he tell you at the time that you signed

the power of attorney that he might have

to use those additional funds

in the money market account?

Yes, but I never thought that he was--

Thank you, Mrs. Crutcher.

Nothing further.

[instrumental music]

Would you like some champagne?

I don't think so, honey.

Come on. Cheer up.

It just breaks my heart

that you and Erroll don't get along.

Sibling rivalry.

It happens.

You're his big brother.

He idolizes you.

Douglas.

He's trying to blackmail me.

If you just talk to him, Douglas,

I know, you two could be real good friends.

For Rusty, try.

Okay, for Rusty. [giggling]

I love you, honey.

You make my heart sing.

Hi, Douglas.

Hi.

Can I have a mineral water, please?

Make that two.

- Your honor. - Mr. Becker.

Nice to see you off the battlefield.

Oh, it is a battlefield, isn't it?

Unfortunately.

By the way we like to chat

without crossing the bounds of impropriety?

So long as we don't discuss your case.

- What case? - Nice to see you, judge.

Arnie, long time no see.

How are you doing, Norman?

Well, I can't complain.

Can't complain.

So, you're going to be adversaries here?

I beg your pardon?

I'm in the middle of a divorce.

I think Mr. Klein incorrectly assumed

that you were representing me.

Ha-ha.

Well, nice to see you both.

Who is representing you?

Mitchell Gray was, but I let him go.

- Hi, Arnie. - Hi, Abby.

Hey, you're looking for a divorce, not a war.

Exactly.

Some lawyers have a limited repertoire.

All I want is an attorney you can cross the T's

and dot the I's,

tell me where to sign my name.

Well, whatever you do I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you, Mr. Becker.

Huggy, boy.

Hi, ma.

What's this?

Service with a smile.

You're Sheila's attorney?

She hired me to handle the divorce.

You're going after her private life

to get custody of the kids.

How he is gonna love when I tell the judge

you're sleeping with my mom?

Erroll.

Just imagine there we are in court.

You on one side and Sheila on the other,

represented by one brother, shacked up with the other.

Oh, that ought to make LA Times.

You see?

Sheila and I are gonna enjoy

going through the financial records

of the firm to determine the value

of your partnership interest, Dougie.

- Damn you! - Boys, please, don't fight!

Go ahead, go ahead.

There's 100 lawyers I got as witnesses.

Now, Douglas.

You're gonna pay.

You're gonna pay, Dougie!

Through the nose!

[engine revving]

[knocking]

Are you alright?

Other than my life's in total shambles, I'm fine.

Douglas, this has got to stop.

Don't you think I want it to?

They're like a pack of snarling dogs

closing in for the kill.

Now, you listen to me, you've been embroiled

in this disgraceful melodrama for months.

And you're no nearer a solution now, then when you moved out.

Now, if not for your own sake, then for the sake of firm

do whatever you have to but get this over with!

[door shuts]

Gentlemen, are we ready to proceed?

Your honor, counsel for the defendant requests a sidebar.

Step up.

I would respectively move that given

the nature of these proceedings, your honor

disqualify herself from the case.

What's the basis for your motion, Mr. Becker?

The fact that your honor is currently

in the midst of a divorce herself.

Mr. Phillips?

Your honor, please be assured this is the first

I'm hearing of Mr. Becker's motion.

Furthermore I don't question your honor's ability

to conduct a fair trial regardless of the circumstances

in your personal life.

This motion is not meant as a criticism, your honor.

Mr. Becker, whatever the circumstances

of my personal life, they don't pertain to this case.

They don't affect my ability to discharge

my judicial responsibilities,

and they are none of your business.

Your motion is denied. Step back.

Is there anything further?

I'd move for a temporary restraining order

barring the plaintiff from interfering

with my client's ongoing negotiations

for film rights to his current novel.

She's protecting her future interests,

your honor, nothing more.

The issue of Mrs. Auten's share in future projects

is not gonna be determined on pretrial motions, Mr. Becker.

Your honor, there's a certain vindictiveness operating here

which you may not be taking into account.

This isn't just a matter of dotting your I's

and crossing your T's.

Your divorce may just be paperwork, but this one isn't.

You're not going to let go of this one, are you, Mr. Becker?

Excuse me?

You're gonna make this case about me.

Your honor, I have made my position clear.

I believe the interests of a fair hearing are best served

by another judge presiding over this case.

Not I, your honor.

You want another judge so badly, go get one.

I hereby recuse myself in matter of Auten VS Auten.

Now, that your motion has been granted, Mr. Becker,

I'll see you in my chambers.

You're a despicable man, Mr. Becker.

No, your honor, I'm just a good lawyer.

I made a passing reference to my divorce

in a casual conversation.

You turned that around and used it to humiliate me.

If you recall it specifically I made my recusal motion

as a sidebar to spare you any embarrassment.

And I'm supposed to be grateful?

If I have a question about judge's impartiality,

I have an absolute obligation to protect my client.

The fact that I'm getting a divorce does not throw

my impartiality into question.

You talked about getting a divorce last night

as though you're filing for an extension

on your income taxes.

In my experience people are only that bloodless

when there's a powder keg inside of them

that they are desperately trying to keep from exploding.

Thank you for the psychiatric evaluation, Mr. Becker.

Your honor...

A judge getting divorced isn't all that different

from anyone else getting divorced.

The authority of your office doesn't insulate you

from the pain of a failed marriage.

It doesn't regulate your husband's actions

or vest you with any particular wisdom

in planning out your own.

You are going through a very real event.

You may want to speed up its passage

but you've got to give it its due.

Thank you, counselor. That will be all.

Just a minute.

You're quite an opportunist, aren't you, Mr. Becker?

When it comes to my client's interest, you bet.

Before I fired my attorney, we had a settlement conference

scheduled for tomorrow morning at 11 o' clock.

There have been four cancellations already.

If you represent me, we won't have to cancel another.

- Me? - Well, what's the problem?

We're all done with this case.

Well, there's no problem, judge.

I'm-I'm just a little surprised.

I-I don't know, what to say.

Say yes, Mr. Becker.

That way I can pay you for your wisdom,

and you can stop calling me judge.

[indistinct chatter]

Douglas Brackman for Errol Farrell.

You in for Douglas Brackman?

(on intercom) Go kill yourself!

Tell him it's important.

It's important!

Call the cops.

Go powder your nose.

Is it shiny?

Erroll, we have to talk.

If you're looking to fend off

our motions for discovery, forget it.

This is not about the divorce.

I want to talk to you personally.

It's a little late for that.

Not if you want to make your mother happy.

Of course, I want to make my mother happy.

So do I.

In a different way, Dougie, a more biblical way.

Neither one of us can make her happy

until we settle our differences.

What do you want, my blessing?

In a way and the chance to say I'm sorry

for my role in whatever troubles

we've had in the past.

I don't know, Dougie.

Sounds a little abstract to me.

Concretely then, I can help you.

I'm prepared to put you on our attorney referral list

at the firm.

Just off hand I can think of a lot of business

we can throw your way.

Debt collections, some PI cases

and if you were interested

in becoming more active with the bar association,

I could introduce you to the right people.

You'd do that?

And, if you ever needed money or a shoulder to lean on,

I want you to know, you could come to me.

I-I'm feeling the melting away of a lot of grievance, Dougie.

I don't want hostilities with you, Erroll.

I want us to be friends as well as brothers.

That's all I ever wanted.

That's all I ever wanted, too.

Come here, you.

Excuse me, Erroll.

The 3 o' clock is waiting.

In a minute.

Hey, it's my big brother here.

And you believed in the viability of this mine?

The geologist said there was gold in the mine.

The assayer said there was gold in the mine.

I was-I was just so sure this thing was gonna make

all my clients rich.

Did you consider that the seller might have laced

the mine with gold flakes to fool you?

That's why I hired the independent geologist

to check it out thoroughly.

And he told the ore samples were legitimate.

I still can't believe he could have been so wrong.

Did other clients lose money on this proposition, Mr. Boland?

Collectively, it cost my clients over a $1 Million.

It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

It's-it has put people out of their homes.

Mrs. Crutcher, I'm so very sorry.

You have to believe me.

If I had the money,

I would give it to you myself but--

- Objection. - Sustained.

Just answer the question, Mr. Boland.

Sorry.

How has this whole thing affected you, Mr. Boland?

Well, I've lost a lot of clients of course.

Though I think if they had stayed,

I could've turned things around,

but I can't really blame them.

Do you blame yourself, sir?

Yes, I do.

Even though I suppose I really shouldn't.

I mean, the geologist, the assayer,

the economist were unanimous

and I have to rely on them the same way

my clients rely on me.

Things just didn't work out here

and I'm deeply sorry for that,

especially for the good, wonderful people like

Mrs. Crutcher, people who trusted me.

Do you feel that you abused that trust, sir?

I promise you I did not.

I may have lost all my money,

but I will take my integrity to my grave.

I have never cheated anyone in my entire life.

Thank you, sir. That's all.

As the hour is late, we'll adjourn till tomorrow

and resume with the plaintiff's cross-examination.

See you all then.

[instinct chatter]

Miss Maynard ? Mr. Boland?

Could I see you there for a minute?

Alright, look.

We're willing to shave our demand to $50,000

provided that you agree to an audit make a good--

Drop dead. The offer is $5,000. That's it.

- Bobby, let me do it. - $5000?

That woman's on food stamps because of you.

I don't give a damn if she has to hock her dentures.

If I cave in to her all those others old goats are gonna

come after me with their hands out.

Those old goats are broke because of you.

The geologist supported every word I said.

I got nothing to worry about.

- You paid off that geologist. - Completely unprovable.

Even if you do prove it, so what? I got no assets.

That's enough, Bobby, don't tell them anything--

This is a settlement conference,

everything here is inadmissible.

I'll tell you this, Mr. Boland.

We'll get a judgment against you and just sit.

And as soon as you become liquid,

we'll pounce all over you.

Nice theory, hot shot.

The only problem is your client's 74 years old

and one thing I've learned about old people,

they don't wait so good, they have a nasty habit of dying.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

It means if you win, I appeal.

You win again I appeal, reappeal.

She keeps hanging on, I keep waiting.

The day I become liquid is the day after she croaks.

You make me sick.

Spoken like a lawyer who knows he can't get me.

Want to do your old lady some good?

Cut your losses, take the five grand. Come on, Lisa.

Whatever it takes, Jonathan,

I want you to nail that bastard.

[instrumental music]

If it's alright with everyone, I'd like to start

by setting some parameters for this discussion.

Since both parties are self-sufficient,

we don't need to concern ourselves with support.

You can cut through the schmaltz, Mr. Becker,

we're all lawyers here.

We know, what's on the table.

Stan, we'll just go through

the schedule of assets line by line,

like to see where we stand on each, okay?

Cash on hand amounts to roughly $150,000.

We exclude inheritances and initial contributions,

we're left with somewhere around $100,000,

which gets split right down the middle.

Stock portfolio is worth somewhere around $400,000.

We use current valuation,

we split it by alternate selection

or a liquidation, if that doesn't work.

Which it won't.

The house in Brentwood is

worth probably a million five, million six.

We put it on the market,

split the proceeds once it's sold.

- Absolutely no. - Why?

It's not like there are any kids.

Here we go, Stanley Silverman's tale of woe

number 4,715 entitled

"My wife didn't give me any children."

Do you think we'd be sitting here today if you had?

I don't think that this is what we are here for, people--

Oh, yes, it is, because of the conclusion of his tale of woe,

I'm gonna give you chapter and verse of what I've lived with.

What do you mean what you lived with?

You're the luckiest damn

broad on the face of the earth.

All thanks to you, of course.

You're damned right, thanks to me.

I taught you how to think.

You're a judge today because I turned you into a lawyer.

And you've never forgiven me for passing you by, have you?

Tell them how well you dealt with my success, dear.

How you gave balm to your wounded ego

by racking up sexual conquests including,

but not limited to my own former law clerk.

Maybe I was trying to get your attention.

Why? So you could come mulling to me with your sense of loss?

Guilt me into forgiving you?

Can I make a suggestion?

There are practical matters that we should--

Your self-pity didn't break me during our marriage.

It's not gonna break me now.

I hope you die, lady.

A fake no versus staying married to you!

Don't say a word.

Child: Come on!

- Stop it! - Hold it!

[phone ringing]

Geoffrey!

Come on, son.

Sheila, how's the pottery?

Rusty?

Gordon.

- Hi, dad. - Boys.

- What happened to your hair? - What happened to yours?

- Quit it, Geoffrey! - You quit it!

- Boys. Boys! - Cut it out!

Can we get on with this?

My lawyer said you had a proposal.

I do. I want peace, Sheila.

I want this family to locate a new sense of oneness.

Geoffrey, do you mind?

Geoffrey.

Geoffrey, your father is talking.

I'm ready to initiate a full accounting

and division of all assets accrued during the marriage.

As for the children,

I'm prepared to accept joint custody.

Big deal, the only reason you tried to take them was

because you couldn't stand the fact I was happy.

- Sheila. - No, Gordon, she's right.

I felt jealous and angry.

But now, that I found love myself, none of it matters.

We may not choose to be married to each other,

but we'll always be bound to each other

as parents to our children.

This is a beautiful acknowledgment.

Sheila, what do you think about what Douglas is saying?

I want my lawyer to look it over.

Uh-huh.

And what do you feel about what Sheila just said?

That's fine.

I don't know, about both of you, but I'm,

I am--

I am terribly moved.

- Ow! - Geoffrey, stop it!

He keeps sniffing me!

Alex, stop sniffing your brother!

Hey, that's an expensive fish.

- Don't you dare touch! - I'm just gonna pet it!

It's not meant to be petted!

Will you forget the stupid guppy, Douglas!

Sheila, no more punishment.

No more hostility.

Let's declare our loyalty to this family,

to the bond we can create between and among our children,

our friends, all our denominators.

I feel so blessed just to be here.

Oh, Geoffrey.

- My fish! - It's a flying fish.

- It just flew right out! - Do you have anger, Geoffrey?

Stick it, Gordy.

Your shoe. Sheila, the fish!

Move your shoe.

You took a $75,000 consulting fee

on this gold mine deal, didn't you?

I believe that's correct, yes.

You recommend a deal to an elderly widow,

a deal that causes her to lose her house

as well as every last penny she has

and you take home $75,000?

Nobody regrets this more than I do, sir.

Oh, that's right. You're deeply sorry.

- Objection. - Sustained.

Mr. Boland, I'll show you your own promotional brochure,

which puffs your services.

And I ask you to read the part I've underlined here.

"Above all, we advocate diversification,

a varied portfolio to minimize risks."

Diversification, yet you put every cent of Mrs. Crutcher's

money on one single gold mine venture.

I've already explained that.

It seemed like such a sure thing.

Did you put any of your own money on this sure thing?

- I never invest my own money. - I bet.

Tell us this, Mr. Boland, why didn't you notify my client

you were taking the last $50,000

out of her money market account?

It wasn't necessary.

I had power of attorney. I was authorized.

This woman was anti-risk.

She was afraid to play the stock market for God sake

and you plunked down all her money,

her life savings on a high risk gold mine

without even telling her?

Do you think I'm happy about this?

Do you think I'm proud of what--

Spare us the sympathy song, Mr. Boland.

You're a blatant thief.

- Objection. - Counselor.

You stole from this person who trusted you.

- I did not. - Mr. Rollins.

This brochure says you're accessible

in constant communication with the client.

It says you emphasize conservative estate planning.

It says you stress diversification.

What you did with my client's money contradicts

every representation in your brochure, doesn't it?

This was a special thing, that's all.

A special thing.

Take a breath, Mr. Boland.

We're just getting started here.

Your honor, he's had this man up here for over four hours.

- This is protracted-- - Overruled.

- I'm going to allow it. - Thank you, judge.

Mr. Boland, regarding your financial statement

as you made over three quarters of a million dollars

in each of the last three years.

You set up five different trust funds,

one for your wife and one for each of your four children.

Each exceeds $300,000 with you named

as the only trustee and yet you personally

have assets totaling only $17,000.

I like to look after my family.

No, you like to make yourself judgment proof.

- Objection. - That's not true.

Overruled.

You set up this sham protection blanket,

so your fleeced clients have nothing to chase

but an empty bag.

- I object. - Sustained.

I am an honest man.

Anyone who knows me knows that.

Really?

Well, a Mr. Frank teacher knows you

and in his complaint against you--

Objection. This is totally out of line.

I'm offering it to him, he just testified

that everyone who knows him knows he's honest.

I have 12 complaints here, each by former client's,

people who know, him to be something other than honest.

- Your honor. - Overruled.

Mr. Frank teacher alleges you defrauded him

and conspired to steal money in excess of $20,000.

Are you aware of this complaint currently filed against you?

Yes.

So when you stated just now that everyone who knows you

knows you're honest man, that was a lie, wasn't it?

- Objection. - Do I have to keep taking this?

Taking is your strong suit.

Taking, stealing, lying--

Oh, for god sake.

Mr. Rollins, that's enough.

Sorry, judge.

Let's forget about Frank teacher.

Do you know, William Tresham, sir?

- Your honor. - Overruled.

Mr. Rollins, do you have much more here?

Oh, yes.

Oh, my, yes.

[instrumental music]

[moaning]

Is there anything more dreary than

two people dividing up their lives?

I don't know. Maybe two people not dividing up their lives.

It's so humiliating.

You work your entire life to achieve a little dignity

and it all comes unraveled then the barrage of name-calling

and rock-throwing, and--

Forgive me. I know, I'm feeling sorry for myself.

- You're entitled. - It's just so absurd.

You evaluate your life by the things,

and then suddenly it's value's reduced by half.

Not its real value.

Life can't be measured, let alone reduced.

Spoken like a man who's never had to go

through it personally.

Spoken like a man who's had a chance

to know, you personally.

Are you flirting with the client, Mr. Becker?

No, your honor.

Because I'm a judge?

Because I wouldn't want to lose your respect,

and I hope your friendship by being a jerk.

Not to mention you're the kind of woman

that I could get into serious trouble with.

Trouble, how?

If I let myself go, you're the kind of woman

I can fall deeply ass over tea kettle in love with.

I'm sorry. Forgive me.

If we're really gonna jump off that precipice,

I don't want to do it here.

Tell me where you want me to go and we'll go there.

[instrumental music]

Tell me why we're here, Mr. Becker?

Judge Ryan called this morning and said

that she wanted to have another meeting

as soon as possible.

Probably wants another pound of flesh.

If this is gonna be a replay of yesterday,

I can tell you it's gonna be a very short meeting.

Don't lay responsibility

for what happened yesterday at our door.

Whose door then?

She did everything she could to enrage me.

All I'm saying is that it swings both ways.

Good afternoon, gentlemen. Sorry I'm late.

Stanley, are you willing to listen to me for a minute?

- I'm here, aren't I? - Okay.

I'd like to propose the following.

Let me buy out your interest in the house

from my share of the stock proceeds.

Keep the partnership intact,

keep the library, keep the art.

I feel like it's more yours than mine anyway.

With the exception of the black and white Franz Kline.

- I'd like to keep it. - Why that one?

Because you gave it to me for my birthday.

Is that satisfactory?

I think so.

- Good. - One question.

What happened between yesterday and today?

I don't know,.

I thought about what it was I really wanted.

I thought about our history together

and both of us getting on with our lives.

And then I slept on it.

El, are you alright?

You call a 101 fever

and a severe case of reverse lunch alright...

What about tonight?

You're on your own, kid.

We could cancel.

We could make it another night.

Can't.

He's out of town, flying in.

Can't be reached.

But, El.

It'll be fine, you'll see.

You'll have a great time.

Good-bye.

The going rate for a geologist is $400 a day.

You paid him $10,000 for one week's work.

I wanted the best.

If I hired a more expensive geologist it's because--

But he's not more expensive.

The job before this he made $350 a day.

The job after he made $300 a day.

You pay him $2,000 a day?

I happen to think he was worth it.

You paid that geologist extra

to seed the mine, didn't you?

- I did not. - I've got a theory, Mr. Boland.

I want you to tell me if it's true or false.

You pay this handpicked geologist over five times

the going rate to seed the ore and put out this phony report

which allows you to bilk your clients.

You pay him $10,000, and you take $75,000

plus a likely kickback on the purchase price

from the seller who knows the land is worthless.

- It's not true. - Your honor.

Suddenly you're setting up trust funds for your kids

while your widowed clients are living on welfare.

- It's a lie! - Objection!

Sustained.

You're the one who is lying, Mr. Boland,

and everybody here knows it.

- I am an honest man. - Mr. Boland.

An honest man doesn't get rich off of senior citizens.

- Objection. - Get out of my face!

An honest man doesn't get sued

by 12 different clients for fraud.

Sit down, Mr. Boland.

Those suits are completely baseless.

An honest man doesn't conceal his assets

in hidden bank accounts.

Objection! Objection!

I will win all those suits!

Mr. Boland, you're a thief, who should be in jail, Mr. Boland.

I've done nothing wrong, I'm completely honest.

You have no right.

You can't!

No!

This...

Mr. Boland?

Bailiff, get a doctor!

Miss Bennett, call an ambulance.

[instinct chatter]

Get him some help.

Boland.

Bobby!

Bobby?

Oh!

Get back! Give me some room!

Is he breathing? Your honor.

Your honor, this man has a life insurance policy

leaving $2 Million to his estate.

What?

In the event this man does in fact die, your honor,

I'd like to attach the proceeds of that policy.

Mr. Rollins.

We've a reasonable likelihood of success on the merits

and no means to satisfy judgment

based on this man's ability to hide assets.

An ability I'm sure he's taught his coworkers--

You're completely disgusting!

Your honor, it's imperative we freeze these assets.

For God sake, Mr. Rollins,

this man is fighting for his life!

If he lives, judge your order is moot.

If he dies, which it looks he is going to judging

from his purple color I see,

then you maintain the status quo

pending disposition.

Shut up!

I'll take it under advisement.

Now, get the hell back. Now!

I'll have the agreement messengered over

to your office first thing in the morning.

Great. Great.

Mr. Becker, thank you very, very much.

Okay.

And Monica-- thank you.

- Ain't you something? - I did have help.

But in the end, it was you.

As I recall, there were two of us last night.

I hope you don't think that I took advantage of you.

I'm not exactly sure who took advantage of whom last night.

But you're a very smart attorney,

and you read me perfectly.

I felt worthless, hurt, betrayed, angry.

And regardless of your motives,

you made me feel wanted and special and sexy.

You are all those things.

And I want you to know, I'm prepared to accept

what we had at face value and let it go at that.

But if you think you can handle more,

if you're not afraid of a real relationship,

you know, where to find me.

[door shuts]

What you did was repulsive. I can't believe it!

It was the right thing. I has--

It was reprehensible.

Now, let's all calm down.

Leland, the man died!

And all this screaming isn't gonna bring him back.

Can the firm be held liable for this?

Uh-uh. No, a lawyer has qualified immunity

during a trial, there's nothing--

What if he had a pre-existing heart condition?

What if we could be charged with constructive knowledge?

He didn't have a heart condition.

And it doesn't matter.

There's no liability for cross-examining a guy to death.

We're still looking at some negative publicity here.

Oh, listen to this.

All you care about is publicity?

And all he cares about his life insurance money.

It makes me sick!

So what, I should've dropped to my knees and had a good cry

at the expense of the client?

You could've acted like a human being!

How human is it to let Mrs. Crutcher die on welfare?

- Your behavior was inexcusable! - Wait a minute!

I don't have to take this abuse.

Jonathan--

What about the trial, Stuart?

It's over, mistrial.

Stuart, you're just as much to blame.

You sat there, you could've stopped him.

- Stopped him. - I got news for you, Ann.

- I was cheering for him. - What?

You're damn right! Look, I don't wish death on anybody.

But you should've seen this.

This guy has a heart attack, right.

The whole room freaks out, the judge panics,

and this kid, this 25-year-old kid,

has the presence of mind to protect his client.

And whether you want to admit it or not

that guy's dying was the best thing

that could have happened to Mrs. Crutcher.

And one other thing.

This kid's gonna be one hell of a lawyer.

He's the kind people hire.

[telephone ringing]

[knocking]

Ready?

Am I ever?

Oh, God, you look beautiful.

Just the same old me.

You know, between your case load and mine,

I haven't seen you in days.

I don't think you should have come out of retirement.

Are you kidding? It's all your fault.

Uh-uh, counselor.

I'm not that kind of girl.

You have to buy me a romantic dinner first.

Oh, Maison Richard romantic enough for you?

Mais oui.

Know, much about the direct mail game, Rox?

- Nothing at all. - It never fails to amaze me.

When I do a mailing 2.6% response, I'm very happy.

3%, I'm beside myself.

I'm working off this list of recent home buyers

in the Minneapolis Saint Paul area,

Hennepin county, Ramsay county,

Washington county, Anoka county.

I'm paying this direct marketing firm

to give me those who have gone from

less populous areas to more populous areas,

because maybe, just maybe that means

more square footage to less square footage.

Tell me, what products do I sell them?

I have no idea, David.

Prefabricated storage facilities.

Do you know, what the response was?

- No. - 4.5% response.

It looks so good.

As a matter of fact that next week

I'm flying to Binghamton, New York

to talk to another manufacturer.

- You ever been to Binghamton? - Never.

I have been going there for years.

Used to fly into idle wild airport

and then take the bus, this was on old route 17.

I'm really not familiar

with that part of the country, David.

Middletown, Monticello, Livingston manor,

sample case on my lap,

but I always did alright there.

I think I see one of our attorneys from the office.

Whoo-hoo!

Roxanne.

Oh, David Meyer, this is Michael Kuzak

and Grace Van Owen.

- Hi. How are you? - Pleasure to meet you.

Won't you sit down and join us?

- Our table's ready. - Please.

Well, just for a minute.

Alright.

So, you're a lawyer at Roxanne's firm?

- Yeah. - You know, I just got sued.

- Did I tell you that? - You never mentioned it, no.

Yeah, few years ago I bought this novelty factory

in Mahwah, New Jersey. It was going out of business.

What kind of novelties?

You know, your basic promotional trinkets.

You got your key chains, your bottle openers,

your pocket protectors, your slide charts.

It was the slide charts where we got into trouble.

What are they?

Two pieces of laminated stuff

held together with grommet

if they rotate a die-cut window with the slide.

We get them printed up with metric conversion tables,

spot and stain removal charts,

drink mixing guides, you name it.

We had ones that could calculate IRA's,

mortgage payments, gas mileage, rim widths,

we had ten year calendars.

It was the rim widths where we got into trouble.

This fella in Gainesville, Florida uses the chart,

buys the wrong width tires,

gets into a car accident, sues me.

Hey, this is not a precision instrument.

This is a give away item that cost me

$2.50 a unit to manufacture.

Grommets get loose, right?

There's nothing you can do about that.

This is one of the reasons I got out

of small manufacturing.

Hi.

It's late. I...

I should have called first.

That's okay.

So if we get started, I'm not sure

where it's gonna lead.

Me neither.

I haven't been this scared since I was a kid

on my first date.

What are you afraid of?

Everything.

Well, maybe we should discuss this in my chambers.

[instrumental music]

- Hi, doll. - Hi, how are you feeling?

- Much better, thanks. - See you later.

Alright.

So how was the date?

If I had three weeks to live, I'd marry him.

Why?

Because every day would seem like a year.

[instrumental music]

[outro music]