Original subtitles

He tried to put a freeze on our bank accounts,

did I tell you that?

Waiter: You're ready to order, sir?

Uh, just some herbal tea, I'll wait for my other party

to order breakfast.

I still can't believe it.

He shacks up with his "administrative assistant"

at the Westwood Marquis

he locks up the Bentley and the Jag in the office garage

and then he cries to me on the phone

about how I betrayed him.

Have you seen a lawyer yet?

I saw Bailey Simes on Monday.

Oh, dandruff on the lapels, tie clip?

I mean, let's get real here.

How about Hope Shays or Lonnie Alters?

Oh, I'm seeing both of them already.

And I think Ellis Shankman, too.

Tricky little devil.

Trying to box you out of

all the best divorce lawyers in town.

Well, I've got an appointment to see Arnold Becker.

Diana: Forget it!

Well, I thought he's on everyone's "A" list.

Diana: Last year's list, darling.

- If I were you, I'd cancel. - You would?

He slept with a girlfriend of mine.

While he was representing her.

- Ooh, that's the lowest. - Oh, yeah.

Well, was he any good at least?

A legend in his own mind.

Kiki: I heard he was cute. - Not from what I hear.

He dresses like a Vegas pit boss, body by Pillsbury,

and about two years away from a hair weave.

Kiki: God, I get the picture.

If I were you, I really would break the appointment.

I mean, if you were some housewife in Encino,

looking for a little alimony, until your

real estate license came through. I'd say fine.

But for you, Arnold Becker would be a major embarrassment.

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Knock, knock.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Let me take you away from all of this.

Dim sum breakfast in Chinatown?

I can't.

I've got Lady Godiva in two minutes.

- Excuse me? - A stripper.

She's filing charges against three lawyers

who apparently went too far with the unveiling.

Oh. Sounds like a real winner to me.

Well, no. I don't know.

I'll listen to what she has to say,

but I'm thinking about kicking it.

Mm. Smells good.

[knocking on door]

Yeah?

- Miss Van Owen? - Mm-hmm.

[telephone rings] Hi, I'm Jeanie Morris.

Hi. Come on in.

I'll call you later, Mr. Kuzak.

Kuzak: Miss Van Owen.

[clears throat]

Sit down.

Not that it makes any difference, Miss Morris,

but... just how old are you?

- 18. - And again, no relevance.

But isn't 18 a little young to be stripping?

Well, I'm not really a stripper, Miss Van Owen.

I came out here four months ago to become an actress.

And I took this job when I ran out of money.

They promised me that I wasn't gonna have

to take all my clothes off

or I could wear a bikini.

Okay, I know that you've already gone over this

with another D.A. for the prelim,

but if you wouldn't mind telling me

what happened that night.

Um, it was my first assignment, a birthday.

I was really scared.

Took me about a half an hour

just to get up the nerve to go in there.

And that's the law firm in Century City?

Yeah.

By the time I got up there, it was deserted

except for these two lawyers

who took me to the office of the third one.

He was the one who's having the birthday.

Mm-hmm.

Um, so I put on the tape.

The music, it was a non-- a small tape deck.

And I started to dance.

What were you wearing?

They made me dress up like Goldilocks.

You know, a cape with a bikini on underneath it.

So I started to dance...

...but then I just...

...I just felt really dirty and cheap.

I just couldn't go through with it.

So what did you do?

So I stopped the tape,

and I told them I was sorry.

And I thought they'd get their money back,

and I tried to leave.

And then one of them locked the door,

and said I couldn't.

And then another one grabbed me,

and ripped my top off.

In the report, you said that they touched you.

Another one said, "If you're not gonna shake 'em,

then we'll shake 'em for you."

And he grabbed my breasts,

and then they all started grabbing me.

[sobbing]

[sighs]

If it wasn't for this janitor,

who heard me screaming and called the police.

I don't know what would've happened to me.

I'm gonna be very honest with you, Jeanie.

I think what these men did to you stinks.

But if we take it to trial,

the jury's gonna see it as the word of

one teenage stripper against three lawyers.

It will be a very difficult conviction to get with this,

and very rough on you in the process.

But I don't understand what you mean.

They tore my clothes off.

They grabbed my breasts.

They called me dirty names.

They made me feel like a whore.

And you mean that they should just be able

to get away with that?

No, Jeanie, they shouldn't.

And if you're prepared to go all the way with this,

so am I.

[coughing]

Bullock vs. Kilby Street Associates.

Breach of contract for the delivery of goods

seeking specific performance,

but there's a good chance of a cash settlement, I think.

Collins and DePaul...

[coughs]

vs. Azoffski.

That's an action for an accounting

regarding the maintenance of a trust,

and discovery motions are pending.

Rohner vs. Gradinger.

I've tried to phone Mr. Rohner.

Well, don't. [coughs]

Jonathan, in light of your estimable success

with Gordon Bass, I want you to take over this case.

That is in the unlikely event that

Manny Rohner doesn't fire us altogether.

[coughing]

Alright.

Miss Perkins, you'll see that Mr. Rollins gets the file.

I believe that brings us current.

Not quite, um, Stuart and I want to announce

that we have finally set a date.

Whoa! An actual date?

An actual date. January 10th at Stuart's house.

- Our house. - Is this BYOB?

No. Not hardly.

- Well, congratulations. - Thank you.

- I'm very pleased for you both. - Thank you.

Throw me the corsage, okay?

Since when did you ever wanna get married?

I'm so--I don't know.

I guess I'm kind of feeling out of it.

Everybody seems to have somebody but me.

Someone who loves and accepts them for themselves.

[coughs] Someone they feel safe with.

Will the real Arnie Becker, please stand up?

This is the real Arnie Becker and I can tell you, Victor,

this is no time to be single.

Don't disillusion me, Arnie. You're my idol.

Women, they-they used to like me.

Today they...

they savage you behind your back.

I... I hope you guys know how lucky you are

'cause this is no time to be alone, fellas.

The hostile years.

[coughing]

The plague years.

[coughing]

This meeting's adjourned.

I want to talk to you about Rohner.

What to talk about?

I'll have the file in your office before noon.

[coughing]

What's it all about, Roxanne?

What's what all about, Arnie?

I go into a convenient store late at night,

and I see a fat guy buying a big bag of

cheese doodles and a dirty magazine.

I say to myself, "poor mutt.

There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Who am I kidding?

Are you still obsessing

over those two women at breakfast?

I run 50 miles a week, I wear Italian suits,

I drive a $50,000 car,

and two women who I don't even know

can disapprove and send me careening back

into being that fat pimply kid

that all the girls in high school laughed at.

You can't pay attention to that sort of petty gossip.

They don't even know you, Arnie.

They don't know your character.

They got around to my character.

They talked about some affair

I was supposed to have had with a client.

- Which client? - They never said.

That doesn't narrow it down much.

You, too?

You make it sound like I'm some sort of

compulsive womanizer.

Rox, every one of those women came onto me.

They used me.

Let me fix you a couple of chamomile .

Forget it!

And by the way, where the hell are my shirts?!

Benny didn't get them.

He's hiding out in the file room.

- Why? - He's depressed.

Depressed?

I-I didn't know that people like Benny.

You know, got...

...depressed.

Right.

He'd probably say the same thing about you.

[door opens]

Woman (On radio): The question you really need

to ask yourself, Lynn, is whether your spouse's need

for you to come to bed dressed as a nurse

as a playful fantasy or an attempt at humiliation?

Man: If it makes my wife happy

to see me in white pantyhose and doctor shows,

I want to make her happy.

It's just her videotaping it.

Woman: Learning to love is learning to trust, Lynn.

We'll take our next caller Herman from Tujunga.

Go ahead, Herman.

- Yes, doctor. Am I on? - You're on the air.

Now what's your question, Herman?

It's really not a question.

I really think I'm just being an alarmist here.

What's your question, Herman?

Everyone's talking about this AIDS.

Do you suspect you may have contracted AIDS, Herman?

No, not really.

I'm a complete straight arrow.

No drugs, no deviations.

It's just that I haven't been feeling too well.

It's probably just the flu?

Have you been experiencing any of the symptoms

associated with AIDS or AIDS-related complex?

Such things as weight loss,

fatigue, night sweats,

soreness or burning sensations in the mouth,

[coughing]

a persistent dry cough.

Herman, are you familiar with the sexual history

of your partners?

Do you know whether they had partners

who were IV drug users

or bisexuals, or hemophiliacs?

If you aren't able to answer these questions,

you're at risk, Herman.

And you should have yourself tested.

But there's no cure.

What'll I do if I have it?

At least you'd be in a position

to act responsibly toward your partners.

Herman, if that's really your name,

[coughing] what I'm hearing

in your voice is fear and denial.

And now what you need to do is to confront that fear

and not be consumed by it.

It's all a part of Relationships Radio.

I'm Dr. Naomi Breslau. We'll be right back.

What's the good word, Benn-o?

I don't know, Arnie.

Hey, come on, something's wrong.

On the bus coming to work,

some boys asked me where I got my clothes.

I told them I didn't know the name of the store.

They called me names.

Dummy,

retard,

geek.

Then just before they got off, one of them took my cap

and threw it out the window.

I got off at the next stop and went back,

but I couldn't find it.

You know, I got an idea.

I think you and I could both use

a little trip to Melrose Avenue.

What's over there?

Clothes.

I don't need any clothes, Arnie.

Yes, you do. Trust me.

Look, Benny, we all have to retool at times.

We have to keep our eyes open to what's out there

and we have to go with what works, right?

You see, this is a part of acquiring self-knowledge.

Now I never wear a vest. Have you ever notice that?

My suits are all double vent or no-vent.

Never singe vent. I know this about myself.

Occasionally, you have to make a midcourse correction.

Somebody calls your attention to, uh,

chink in the armor,

and you have to take steps, right?

- Okay. - Alright.

Tomorrow morning, you and me, 10 o 'clock.

Maybe I can get another cap.

Yeah.

[women laughing]

I'm told you're planning to take a stripper case to a jury trial?

Tomorrow morning.

Look, Grace, I'm not excusing what they did,

and they deserve all the embarrassment

that's coming to them.

But come on, we're talking to three lawyers,

families, nice careers.

A felony conviction means getting hauled before the bar

on moral turpitude.

They could get suspended or worse.

Gee, I'd hate to see them lose a week of practicing law

for just molesting a teenage girl.

What is this? Some kind of feminist chip on your shoulder?

What does that supposed to mean?

This is a stupid case.

We shouldn't be taking this to trial.

I'm gonna ask you to get off your soapbox here,

and dispose off this case.

Forget it, Bruce.

These three guys broke the law.

And if we were talking about ordinary street punks,

we wouldn't even be having this insulting conversation.

And if you don't like it, stick me back in night court.

Are you sure this is totally anonymous?

Yep.

There will be no contact with my office or home

from this clinic whatsoever?

None.

[coughing]

- I call you for the results? - Right.

Really no reason there should be such shame

attached to this, is there?

It's high time this was treated as a medical problem

instead of some plague.

That's right.

Like it or not, it's mainstream now.

I mean, I don't have a homosexual bone in my body.

We're very non judgmental here.

- Make a fist. - Is this gonna hurt?

Oh!

Pretty silly to worry about that now.

I mean, by the time a person gets in here,

It's a life or death thing.

Woman: Dr. James Abel, you have a call on extension 26.

So, how long till I know?

About three days.

Look, this can be between you and me.

But if you can get those results a little quicker,

you can just name your price.

Ah, I don't have any control over the lab.

I mean, two or three days may not seem

like a long time to you, but

I'm sitting here wondering whether I'm living or dying.

Be sure and keep pressure on that.

Woman: Fabulous.

Well, what did I tell you?

I don't know, Arnie.

What do you mean you don't know?

I'm telling you, it looks great.

Have you ever gone this textural before?

I don't know.

Jou Jou, Benny's clothes generally look as though

they come in the mail with a free gift.

[laughing]

No offense.

Would you excuse us a minute? Benny, come here.

Come on, guy, I was only kidding.

My mom always picked out my clothes, Arnie.

Well, I don't think your mother would have any problem

with the outfit you have on.

You don't?

No, I don't.

Okay?

- I guess so. - Alright.

Look, I want to take a look at some sweaters,

why don't you see if there's any shoes you like.

[chuckles]

[indistinct chatter]

Gianfranco Ferre?

No.

Benny Stulwicz.

I mean the designer.

Oh, Missoni. I was wrong.

Woman: I wanna show you something.

These would be fabulous with it.

And what happened after the police arrived?

They, um,

they took my statement,

and they arrested the three men,

and then the officers took me home.

Thank you, Miss Morris.

Nothing further.

You went there to take your clothes off, right?

Jeanie: At first.

To do a strip tease,

the operative word being "tease."

I don't-I don't understand what you mean.

Wasn't the point of your little performance

to arouse the men, to turn them on,

to get them all worked up?

They didn't have any right to tear my clothes off.

Oh, yes. The clothes.

Exhibit "A."

Exhibit "B."

This is how clothed you were, right?

Yes.

So you accept money to prance around

in a rubber band, and then one of your clients removes

what you expressly went there to take off yourself,

you suddenly call them criminals.

It's not true.

- Objection. - Sustained.

- They totally humiliated me. - Humiliated you?

How does a woman who makes money

dancing naked get humiliated?

- Objection! - Counselor.

I'm sorry, judge, but I'd love to hear

how a 50 buck stripper gets embarrassed?

- This is badgering! - I'm not a stripper.

I never agreed to strip naked!

I told them that I changed my mind!

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it, and they attacked me!

[sobbing] Your honor, may we request a recess

to allow the witness to collect herself?

20 minutes.

[door closes]

So...

...not too bad so far, huh?

I'm sorry.

What?

I'm sorry.

He just...

...he just made me so angry in there.

You're doing fine.

You think there's much more of this?

I'd be lying if I said no.

They're gonna keep coming at you, Jeanie.

Right at you.

You're gonna be able to take it?

Yeah, I'll be alright.

[telephone rings]

Abby,

I just want you to know,

I didn't ask for Rohner-Gradinger case.

You didn't say no, did you?

What was I supposed to do?

I'm sorry, Jonathan.

I'm not-I'm not blaming you.

I made my own mess here, I know that.

[coughing]

Douglas, can I talk to you?

Do you see that?

It's like I don't even exist around here anymore.

That's not true.

Mckenzie's called me into his office this afternoon

for a meeting about Rohner vs. Gradinger.

This can only mean one thing.

I'm getting fired.

Oh, come on, you don't know that.

Actually, it's gonna be kind of a relief.

You know, there hasn't been

a single day that I haven't wondered

whether I really belong here or not.

At least this way, I won't have to wonder anymore.

Benny?

Oh, there you are.

I need this dropped off over at the courthouse.

Hey, you got a new haircut.

Let me see.

[chuckles]

Looks great.

Thank you.

Are these the clothes you got with Arnie?

- Yeah. - You look very nice, Benny.

This should get over there before 2 o'clock.

Roxanne?

I know Mr. Brackman wants these index tabs repaired.

Could I stay and finish them,

and take these papers over there tomorrow?

No. This has to be delivered today.

What's wrong, Benny?

I look different.

Yes, you do look different.

It was nice of Arnie to buy me these,

but I feel funny dressed like this.

Benny,

everyone has their own way about them.

Everyone has to feel that their way is right for them.

And that's more important than

the whole rest of the world's opinion.

And that's something you can only know for yourself.

You think it'll be alright if I change back

into my own clothes?

Yes, I do.

[chuckling]

And then you better get going.

Yeah.

- Hey, Gracie, come on. - What?

It's Steve's birthday. We got a little surprise lined up.

No, I've gotta get back to court.

Come on.

Hey... alright, it's showtime!

[applause]

[indistinct chattering]

[upbeat music]

Here we go.

Yeah.

[cheers and applause]

Oh, wow.

[laughing]

I can't dance without my music, honey.

[sighs]

But the problem is you're dancing

for the wrong person.

I'm the one this little show was planned for.

And if your goal was to drive home the notion...

...that an office laugh is worth pursuing it

at the expense of a colleague's feelings.

You succeeded.

But where you fail, gentlemen,

is in your attempt to goad me into a tantrum.

One thing that's not gonna get stripped here,

is my dignity.

[coughing]

[instrumental music]

Yes, maybe a couple of us did get a little grabby,

but that sort of thing does happens

at a strip show, believe it or not.

Did you touch her, Mr. Delinsky?

I'm ashamed to admit it. Yes, I did.

I thought she was teasing, you know, part of her act.

I had no idea that she would react the way she did.

And I would like to apologize to her right now

as I have continually since the night of the incident.

- Did anyone else touch her? - We all did.

Look, truthfully, we behaved like juveniles

like, you know, frat boys at their first stag party.

We just got carried away, the fun went too far

and we all deeply regret it.

But I'm telling you as a person and as a lawyer

that we are not guilty of criminal activity.

Thank you, sir.

Your witness.

I must say, Mr. Delinsky,

I'm very impressed with your sensitivity.

Particularly since you're the man

who ripped off her bikini top, yelling

and I quote, "show us your tits!"

- Your honor. - Object!

The same man whose thumb and forefinger

left welts on the victim's breasts.

Your honor, she's deliberately--

This is cross-examination, your honor.

I'm entitled to treat the witness as hostile.

You understand hostility.

Don't you, Mr. Delinsky?

Talk about badgering!

Sit down, Mr. Conlin.

I show you, sir, section 2434A

of the California Penal Code.

Lawyer 2: Objection. - Calling for legal conclusion!

This witness testified that their actions

did not constitute criminal conduct.

He's also a lawyer.

And since he opened the door with a legal interpretation,

I'm entitled to cross him on that front.

I'll allow it.

Sexual battery, Mr. Delinsky.

According to the law, it is a criminal offense

to lock a girl in a room, and grab her breasts

for sexual pleasure against her will.

- True or false? - True, but that's not--

And you admitted that you three little "frat boys"

locked the door and blocked her exit, didn't you?

Only at first.

And the couple of you fun guys grabbed her breasts

against her will, didn't you?

I don't know what her will was.

The only question is still open, sir,

concerns the purpose of your little grope?

Was it for sexual gratification

or were you giving her a physical?

I object. She's not even giving him time to answer.

I'll give him time, judge.

Think this over very carefully, Mr. Delinsky.

Tell me, as a person and as a lawyer,

how what you did, didn't break that law.

Things just got carried away.

It was all in fun.

Fun.

Good defense, counselor.

No further questions.

- Hi, any messages? - Uh, yes.

Lauren Sevilla called to say she'd meet you at 7:30.

Oh, and these got served late this morning.

Brackman's handling this.

Oh, sorry. I'll bring it to him.

That's okay. I'll drop it off.

- Thanks. - Hi.

I'm waiting on some test results.

This morning.

I know, I just thought they might have.

[knocking on door]

- I have-- - Out!

Out! Out!

[door closes]

My number's 1483.

That's alright. I'll hold.

[soft music]

[coughing]

Just so you know,

Manny Rohner asked for this meeting, not me.

And he specifically requested that you be here.

I assume he is coming in to fire us.

Are you gonna fire me?

[knocking on door]

Ah, Manny.

- Mr. Gradinger? - Abigail.

Leland, Marty Gradinger.

- How do you do? - Glad to meet you.

How are you feeling, Mr. Gradinger?

Great.

Nothing like being thrown through a glass wall

to bring it to your senses.

We want to show you something.

Abby: Paper towels?

Marty and I have agreed to merge and go public.

- You're kidding! - On paper towels?

Of all the attorneys we had,

she is only one who realized that

what we really wanted was to get back together again.

All the others just wanted to keep the feud going.

Mine added a complete second story to his house.

How much do they pay you here?

Oh, Manny, that's hardly appropriate.

A 100,000?

- 52. - That's slave labor.

You come with us after we merge.

In-house counsel. We'll treat you right.

Now, hold on a minute.

Between the S.E.C. prospectus, the merger,

the whole schmeer you'll be taking in over $400,000

in legal fees a year from us, Leland, because of this one.

And you're not gonna hold her for 52K.

Well, we certainly don't want to lose her.

You got that right, bud.

Marty and I have a court reserved,

but we'll call you tomorrow, Abby.

In the meantime, get that typed up, will you, Leland?

Well done, Miss Perkins.

Would you explain something to me, Leland?

If I can.

I'm the same person that I was 10 minutes ago.

Only 10 minutes ago I was a bum,

and now I'm a hero.

What does that mean?

Well...

...in the first place, it means that you were right

in trusting your own instincts in handling that case.

And in the second place, it means that

should you like to stay with this firm,

you'll be receiving the same salary as Jonathan Rollins.

Is that acceptable, Miss Perkins?

I have to think about it.

Well, you do that.

[door closes]

[soft music]

Man: Hello.

[coughing]

Yes. I'm here.

I see.

Oh, God.

Alright.

I'll call back tomorrow.

Arnie?

The only one they didn't have was Revenge Of The Nerds.

Great.

What's with the old clothes?

Oh.

Arnie, all the stuff you bought me is really,

really nice. It's just that no matter what...

I'll always look like what I am.

- What are you? - I'm mentally retarded.

Please, don't be mad, Arnie.

[sighs]

- Who's mad? - Hey, look.

- I went back and found my cap. - Great.

It was stuck in the sewer grate.

Lucky, huh?

Arnie, your 4:00 appointment is here.

Alright. [telephone rings]

Kiki Sennheiser. It's nice to meet you.

Uh-huh. Well, I'm afraid my secretary made a mistake here.

I'm not really taking any new clients.

She can validate you on the way out.

Please, Mr. Becker.

I was served with papers this morning,

and I'm feeling a little frantic just now.

I've been to other lawyers, and I just don't feel

comfortable with them.

Yes, well, that's bound to happen, Mrs. Sennheiser,

when you make superficial judgments about people.

I just didn't like them.

But you're so different.

The way you dress...

My sweater.

It's very nice.

And it brings out the blue in your eyes.

Does it cover my body by Pillsbury?

[laughs] What?

Body by Pillsbury, Mrs. Sennheiser.

I was in the next booth.

Oh, no.

Uh...

...that wasn't me.

That was Diana.

And obviously, if she had said those things about you,

she didn't know what she was talking about.

Yes, well, I really am sorry, but I don't have time.

I'll be happy to refer you elsewhere.

Please, Mr. Becker.

I want you.

You're the first attorney I've met

who knows who he is.

And I need that strength to see me through this ordeal.

Please, I'm begging.

[sobbing]

[sighs]

$10,000 retainer against 350 an hour.

Ooh, them aching feet.

Hey, stranger.

I haven't seen you in a while.

Ah. Back-to-back 187s.

Nobody's seen me.

Well, it's nice to see you now.

I could use a friendly face.

So I've heard.

Grace, I've always been honest with you, right?

Brutally.

[laughs]

Yeah, well, in keeping with tradition.

And, you know, everybody in the office is grumbling

that you have become some kind of humorless radical feminist.

Tell me something I don't know.

- Oh, it's hurting all of us. - All of who?

Oh, the women in this office.

Oh, I take a look at the hierarchy out there.

How often does a woman crack

into one of the top spots?

Not very often.

'Cause we don't get the good assignments,

'cause it's men handing them out

and they feel more comfortable mentoring other men.

And all of this is supposed to be my fault?

[sighs]

Well, you're not helping things

by acting like a tight ass.

God, Sarah.

I never thought I'd hear this from you.

Oh, I'm sorry to be saying it,

but what you're doing only reinforces their attitude

that the girls can't be one of the guys,

that they're no fun to work with,

that they don't get the jokes,

that they don't roll with the punches.

[slams] In other words, it's a man's world,

and the best we can hope for is to fit in.

Sometimes you've got to go along to get along.

Well, it happens I don't believe

it has to be the "ol' boy's" network.

And if getting along means going along with sensibilities

that turn my stomach, then I guess I'll never get along.

Grace, this was just my opinion.

Well, you can take your opinion,

and fertilize some other place,

because nothing ever grows here.

I can promise you that, Sarah.

Every time I see a headlight...

...or I hear a car slow down...

...I think it's my husband.

I picture him, dragging me across the floor by my hair,

hitting me in the face.

Oh, God.

[sniffles]

Will I ever stop being frightened?

Lauren,

he has no idea where you are.

And even if he did, nothing's going to happen to you.

Hmm. How can you be so sure?

I'll protect you.

The truth is...

...I feel safe with you.

- You would protect me. - Yes, I would.

And in return?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Victor.

Would it be all right if I stayed here tonight?

Sure.

Look, Lauren, there's no pressure.

You can have the guest bedroom.

There's clean sheets,

there's a radio next to the bed,

and you'll have a bodyguard sleeping in the next room.

What more could you want?

You...

...sleeping in the same bed next to me...

...as close as you possibly can.

[saxophone music]

[coughing]

You were told at the beginning of this trial,

you'd hear evidence,

and that based upon that evidence,

you'd make your decision.

But instead,

defense counsel has bombarded you

for two days with everything, but evidence.

Rather than direct your attention

to the events of November 12th,

they've told you that defendant Delinsky

has a loving wife, and is a good Christian,

that defendant Roderick looks after his dying mother,

and does pro Bono work for the underprivileged,

and that defendant Christopher coaches little league baseball

and likes to sculpt.

And they've repeatedly reminded you

that the three defendants are respected lawyers,

admired by their colleagues,

while the victim is a two-bit stripper

who shakes her cakes for money.

None of that has anything to do with this case, however.

And in theory shouldn't impact on your verdict.

But what defense counsel knows,

and what I have come to learned myself lately,

is that in trials and in life,

outcomes are influenced by value judgments,

by attitudes, by biases.

That's why they have tried so hard

to steer you away from the facts,

while I have been attempting to keep you

from reducing this case to those very value judgments.

But you know what?

After sitting and listening to everything

that's going on in here for the last few days,

I have suddenly decided.

I don't care how you look at it,

because I'd stack the moral character of that young woman

up against those three professional men

without any hesitation whatsoever.

These three men physically abused her,

and then

these three verbally abused her

for the sole purpose of convincing you.

She's the bad person, and she sat there and took it.

She stood up to it because she knew,

as all of you know,

when people break laws,

they're supposed to be punished.

And she felt that no matter how much they attacked her,

if she could just keep clinging to the truth,

the truth would somehow win.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

whether you decide this case based on fact

or simply on who you admire the most.

Either way,

it isn't even close.

Your verdict has to be guilty.

[indistinct chattering]

Man: I think that all of the problem...

Arnie, this just came for you by messenger.

Oh, thanks, Benny.

[telephone rings]

Well, Kiki Sennheiser has just sent

over the check for 10,000.

Once again highlighting the chameleon-like

nature of Arnold Becker and his ability

to parlayed into an annual income

in the mid six-figure range.

[telephone rings]

I think your abilities as an attorney

might enter into it somewhere.

Rox, this woman wasn't hiring a lawyer,

she was casting one.

I went for the part, I wore the right sweater and I got it.

I mean, a month from now someone will come in

and mention that they like western clothing

and I'll come in dressed like Roy Rogers.

Don't you think maybe you're being a little bit dramatic?

- You know who I really envy? - Who?

- Benny. - Benny?

At least he knows exactly who he is.

[sighs] Look, Rox, do me a favor.

Just, just cancel my appointments.

I...

...I got to pull myself together.

Life's a bitch, isn't it, Arnie?

[Douglas crying]

[coughing]

[crying continues]

Douglas, are you alright?

Douglas?

I just got test results back from the AIDS clinic.

Oh, God.

- They were negative. - Negative?

Well, that's great.

It's the greatest thing in the world.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

I just needed to be spared this once.

I'll never stray again.

Not from Sheila, not from living a good life.

I intend to make my peace with those I have wronged.

I intend to make my peace with the Big Man as well.

You've been such a good friend to me, Arnie.

Excuse me.

[sniffles]

In the matter of the People vs. Eric Delinsky,

we the jury find the defendant guilty as charged.

In the matter of the People vs. Stephan Roderick,

we the jury find the defendant guilty as charged.

In the matter of the People vs. Milton Christopher,

we the jury find the defendant guilty as charged.

Judge: Members of the jury, I thank you.

You are now dismissed.

Sentencing will take place on the 24th.

This court is adjourned.

[gavel bangs] You did it.

You did it.

I just wanted to you know that I'm gonna remember you

the rest of my life.

I don't think I'll be forgetting you either.

Thank you so much.

[sighs]

[knocks]

Rhonda, I have a bit of news,

I think you'll be very happy to hear.

And what might that be?

[sighs]

For some time now I've carried a heavy burden.

I've been run down physically and let's face it.

My exposure to you was also an exposure

to your whole lurid past.

To make a long story short,

I was convinced that you had given me AIDS.

You thought I gave you AIDS?!

I got the results this morning,

a clean bill of health.

But you need to be more careful, Rhonda.

In this day and age, wantonness can be fatal.

I think you better get out of here.

I'm going.

I just want you to know

that despite this entire ordeal,

I've forgiven you.

- You've forgiven me? - Yes, I have.

For using your seductive powers to entrap me,

for vilifying me in front of my colleagues,

for jeopardizing my marriage,

my family, my entire way of life.

wham

[knocking on door]

Kuzak: Yeah, I'm coming, coming.

- Gracie! - Hi.

Well, come on in.

Actually, could we just sit on the steps?

It's nice out.

Okay, steps.

What's with the balloon?

Oh, it's, um... trying to change my image.

Mickey, I want to ask you something

and I want you to give me an honest answer.

Do you think that I am grim and humorless?

Yes.

Really?

I mean, we both are, Gracie.

You got to admit, we're sort of...

Earnest?

We've got to have more fun, Mickey.

We-we've got to learn to laugh more.

You know, when I first joined the DA's office,

Rogoff kept asking me out.

I wanted responsibility, he wanted a date.

And I tried so hard

and for so long to be taken seriously

and now that's the only way people take me.

[air escaping balloon]

Nothing wrong with being serious, Grace.

Oh, Mickey, I haven't done that since I was a kid.

Give me.

[sucking]

I seriously love you, Mickey.

[sucking]

And I seriously love you, too, Gracie.

[laughing]

[air escaping balloon]

[theme music]