Original subtitles

Julian: So look, I'm just hanging out

on this corner there, right?

When this dude comes blowing out the store

and he can see that the police car is after him, man.

So he just pushes the stuff off on me,

the gun and the money.

And I'm just like, you know, what's happening?

And then, bang, man.

The police are drawing down on me

and I'm the one that gets busted, dig?

Not the perpetrator, me.

So that's your legal defense, Julian?

It's your basic the other dude did it?

Yeah, it's the truth.

These are smart people on the jury, Julian.

You expect them to believe this doo-doo?

Julian: Hey, wait a minute, man.

You're supposed to be my lawyer, right?

How many times have I gotten you off, Julian?

- Some. - Well, how many?

Excuse me, Your Honor.

But it looks like the people are going to have to object

to the introduction of priors or

Mr. Tatton's got a case for appeal.

Counsel, approach the bench.

Seven times. Robbery, burglary, assault.

- Oh, come on. - Mr. Hershberg?

Seven times, and he's still on the street!

Does this make sense to you?

Mr. Hershberg, you are courting contempt.

Okay, maybe he had a bad childhood...

- Now that is enough! - But I'm sorry.

He's basically still the worthless bag of...

- Mr. Hershberg! - Hey, I don't gotta take this!

Mr. Hershberg, approach the bench now!

And since the courts don't have the stones to do it...

- Oh! - Bailiff!

You can't do that, man. I got rights!

Take it easy. Come on, let's go.

You are in contempt, Mr. Hershberg!

Take him downstairs!

Thank you, Your Honor.

Compared to this job, jail's a pleasure!

Dirtbags in, dirtbags out!

Swimming upstream. I'm going nuts!

- Calm down! - I can't take it anymore!

Can you give me 20 years?

I mean it. It would be a vacation!

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

Thank you.

Not a good day for Sid Hershberg.

Last week, it was a D.A. in Torrance.

Tore up his files and threw them at the judge.

Let me take you away from all this.

Lunch later?

Oh, no, no, not a great idea.

What? You can't even be seen with me at lunch?

Just until after the elections are over.

Getting pretty sick of this sneaking around, Grace.

Just a second.

Do you realize that we have not even been

to a restaurant together? To a move or a play?

Mm-hmm.

Just a few more weeks until we don't have to worry about

the gossip, the newspapers, the television...

I don't know how to break this to you.

But I am not Prince Charles and you are not Lady Di,

And this is a little Muni court race.

No one remembers or even cares

that you changed your mind about getting married.

It was no big deal.

Ditching the groom at the altar,

hand in paw with a gorilla is...

Yesterday's headlines, Grace. 15 minutes of fame.

Tomorrow they're all gonna be buzzing about

how Sid Hershberg punched out his own client.

Maybe you're right, maybe.

So...

where do you wanna go to get lunch?

I can't. I have homework to do.

- Meet the candidates. - That's tomorrow night.

Yes, and I have to give it every spare minute I've got.

The press will be there.

- What time tomorrow night? - You don't really wanna come.

- Oh, yeah, I do. - No, you don't.

Yes, I do. I promise I will wear a suit.

I will not pick my teeth. You're just being paranoid.

Nothing's gonna happen.

Okay. It starts at eight.

Meet me there and we can go have dinner afterward in public.

You'll even let me hold your hand?

Maybe.

Douglas: If you would take your seats, people?

It is once again my unpleasant task to remind you

of your tardiness regarding weekly accounting

of your billable hours.

Last week, only Stuart Markowitz

had his report in on time.

A certain other attorney who shall remain nameless,

Miss Kelsey, is behind more than four weeks on her reports.

People, please.

When accounting is late, billing is late.

When billing is late, cash flow

like a clogged sewage line is reduced to a trickle.

Need I elaborate?

[chuckles]

Now on a more upbeat note.

A sizeable attaboy to Arnold Becker

for recognizing the cinematic potential

of Hillary Mishkin's "Rose Bush"

and in securing for this firm a 2.5% share in

the profits of same.

For those not aware, the film has opened to glowing reviews

and even more importantly, boffo box office

and business is even better the second week.

Moving on.

Victor, you're representing Jeffrey Sullivan

in his cocaine trial?

At my request, yes.

Apparently, the boy trusts no one but Victor.

And Sullivan, Sr. was eloquent

in his plea for representation.

Like father, like son.

Now, now, the boy may have embarrassed us.

But he's entitled to the best defense nevertheless.

Proceeding.

Who is Evelyn Frost as regards the Gwendolyn Merrywell Trust?

The late Ms. Merrywell set up a trust

for her niece and nephew.

And on their deaths, their share was

to provide assistance for the poor of Beverly Hills.

Douglas: Defined as what exactly?

Any poor wretch without his own swimming pool?

The nephew has died

and the trustees haven't distributed a dime yet.

The niece wants them to live up to the intent

to help poor people wherever they live.

Very noble, Miss Kelsey.

Though perhaps you're forgetting

your fiscal responsibility as a partner in this firm?

The trustees are sitting on $80 million.

And if my efforts can get them to spend some of it

to alleviate some of the suffering and misery

in this world, I happen to think that's more significant

than generating fees for this firm.

Well, I suppose if you shake an $80 million dollar tree,

something is bound to fall our way.

Finally, Turtletaub versus Turtletaub.

Unfortunately, we've just found out

that Mr. Turtletaub has been less than candid

about his community assets.

And Miss Perkins is handling this?

Well, she expressed an interest in family law

and since I'm branching into entertainment,

it seemed to make sense.

Anyway, I'll be backstopping her.

Arnold, what the hell is going on here?

I thought we had an equitable agreement worked out.

According to our investigator, your client's been hiding assets

in a holding company in the Netherland Antilles.

The same client who testified under penalty of perjury

that he was too impoverished to provide support for his wife

and child, forcing my client to take boarders into her home.

It's possible there was an oversight.

Where else has he got it stashed?

The Cayman Islands maybe? Switzerland?

Perhaps my client could be persuaded

to throw another $100,000 into the community pot

in consideration of a speedy settlement.

With all due respect, Miss Dupree,

I think your client is a bum and a liar.

And until we've had the opportunity

to fully investigate all of his financial assets,

there can and will be no settlement.

- Arnold? - Don't look at him.

You're dealing with me. And we're off the table.

Well, the truth is, I don't know how much

I'm gonna be able to help you, Jeffrey.

Come on, Mr. Sifuentes.

You must have gotten hundreds of guys off

for lots worse than this.

Jeffrey, it's a dead bang loser.

It was entrapment.

Where do you see entrapment?

At the prelim, they played a tape of you boasting

to the cop that you'd be able to get him the greatest stuff

north of La Paz.

I wasn't read my rights.

Twenty three people heard him read you your rights.

Mr. Sifuentes, now don't take this the wrong way.

Can we buy our way out of this?

Whoa, listen, kid. That ain't gonna fly.

Now if you're serious about that, you go find

yourself another lawyer.

[laughs]

I was just joking, okay?

I swear.

Just tell me what you want me to do.

Okay, I'm suggesting that you plead guilty.

Now it's a first offense.

I can probably get you probation

and 45 days in the county jail as a condition.

[chuckles]

I can't, Mr. Sifuentes.

I know I'm driving you nuts

and you're doing a great job, really.

But if I cop to a felony, it'll screw me up

with the ethics committee.

I'll never be a lawyer.

Do you realize that you're looking

at state jail time if you're convicted?

The jury will like me. I can be very charming.

The jury will resent you for being a spoiled rich kid.

I knew this guy and he got busted with a gram in his car.

Now he cops to a misdemeanor possession,

he does a year with a shrink

and has it totally taken off his record.

I'd do that.

Jeffrey, you were selling cocaine.

They don't let sellers cop to a mis.

All my life, all I ever wanted to be was a lawyer.

Don't let 'em take my dreams away.

Okay. I will talk to the D.A.

You want me to go with you? No, no.

You're gonna do great.

Really.

You haven't spent dime one on the poor.

Take a look at this portfolio, my dear,

and tell me what you see.

Drive down Olympic Boulevard, Mr. Jarrett,

and tell me what you see.

People sleeping in dumpsters, eating garbage.

Ugliness, Mr. Jarrett, which can't be made pretty

by some fancy little graph

in your accountant's coloring book.

I see no cause for indignation.

People are starving, sir. Some are dying.

As far as causes for indignation go,

I'd say that's a damn good one!

What would you have us do?

Here is a list of charitable foundations

which serve the needy.

They're all consistent with the spirit of the trust.

And all you have to do is sign the check.

Just a minute.

Every one of these institutions is outside the city limits

and the language of the trust is quite explicit.

To the poor people of Beverly Hills.

Ann: She wanted to help the homeless.

And if she had ever thought that poverty

would be extinguished in Beverly Hills,

she would have marked the money for poor people

in other towns.

My client's job, young lady, is not to play would have,

could have or should have.

As trustees, they must give the words

of the trust strict construction.

The fact remains, there are no poor people

in Beverly Hills at this time.

It's too late anyway.

This year's interest is already in escrow.

We're building a park in Miss Merrywell's honor.

What?

Yes, with a beautiful marble statue.

It's a lovely tribute.

You're not spending that money on a park.

I'll get an injunction.

Tucker: Not to lecture you on the law, Miss Kelsey,

but the dispute here is a matter of an interpretation.

And since yours is contrary to the express wording

of the trust, no judge in the world

will give you an injunction.

Any attorney worth her salt should know that.

You say the trust is for the poor people of Beverly Hills?

- Mm-hmm. - Fine.

Then it's the poor people of Beverly Hills

who will stop you.

Ann: And without the injunction, Your Honor,

the fund will be severely drained by buying

and developing that park.

The injury to my client will be both immediate and irreparable.

What client, Your Honor?

Beverly Hills has no poor people.

Now if we can't take judicial notice of that fact,

I direct the court's attention to the affidavits

from the City Tax Assessor.

Your Honor, you need not own property to be a resident.

Residency is satisfied by the intent

to remain indefinitely.

Fine. Then show me a person with that intent.

I'd like to call a witness, Your Honor.

Well, this is not an evidentiary hearing, Miss Kelsey.

Can't you just give me a declaration?

Your Honor, this witness neither reads nor writes.

She does have a story to tell, however.

And I think the interest of justice would be served

by letting her testify.

This is most inappropriate.

I'll ask the questions. Call her up here.

Miss Flaherty?

Where do you live, Miss Flaherty?

In Beverly Hills.

Where exactly in Beverly Hills?

Mostly in Roxbury Park.

Sometimes in peoples' backyards if nobody's home.

And you sleep in Roxbury Park?

Yes, I do.

And do you live all by yourself, ma'am?

I don't like other people.

I'd cut the first bastard that messes with me.

- Bailiff? - Come on, let me have it.

Keep away from me! I'll cut you!

No one is gonna hurt you, ma'am.

- Miss Kelsey? - Katie, please.

Come on, come on.

Can you just give it to me?

I promise I'll hold it for you.

Okay.

You ain't lied to me yet.

Okay.

Judge Aaron: Thank you, ma'am.

Do you know how long you've lived in Beverly Hills?

[chuckles]

Almost eight years. I come from Chicago in '78.

Sorry damn place, almost froze me plumbin'.

Judge Aaron: Why Beverly Hills?

I like the people and the cops don't hit you!

And I, I like those fruit trees.

And I like the sounds of it.

Livin' in Beverly Hills.

[laughs]

Do you ever move around to other towns?

I live in Roxbury Park! I don't like other places!

I just stay home!

All right. Well, thank you, Miss Flaherty. That'll be all.

All right.

In light of the foregoing, I'm satisfied for now

that Miss Flaherty lives in Beverly Hills.

I'm therefore going to grant plaintiff's request

for an injunction.

I'm going to also place this case

on the advanced trial list.

Now the matter of Miss Flaherty's residency,

of course, can again be addressed at that time.

That'll be all.

Can I see counsel at the bench?

Settle this thing, Mr. Tucker.

Even if you somehow dispose with Miss Flaherty,

I'm sure that there are other such people similarly situated.

Now that would mean, sir, that your whole case

would come down to convincing me that your proposed park

is for the benefit of these people.

You don't want your whole case to come down to that, do you?

- Marilyn? - Victor.

Nice to see you again.

Have a seat.

Not there. That was my grandmother's chair.

It's a beauty.

I've been looking for a chair like that.

Afraid I can't help you.

Now I assume you didn't come here to discuss

interior decorating.

Right. The Sullivan case.

Plead to the felony, a year in County.

A year? Come on. Clean kid, first offense?

Let's cut to a mis.

Your clean kid was a major dope dealer

on campus 'til he moved his act to your law firm.

That's hearsay, Marilyn, which you can't make stick.

Nice to know you haven't changed at all, Victor.

Even now that you're defending a better-paying class of scum.

You got something against me?

The Angeletti case, Russell Putman?

You know, I have gone against you five times.

And in each case, you have used every back door,

unethical hustle to get your client off.

That's my job.

That's your job? Obscuring the truth?

[scoffs] Look, there's no truth to be obscured here.

I'm not denying the fact of what the kid did.

But you can't deny that there's 2,500 cases

backed up downtown.

20,000 inmates in a jail system that's designed for 12,000.

You got murderers, rapists.

You got violent criminals to worry about, Marilyn.

I just think that in the scheme of things,

Jeffrey Sullivan is pretty small potatoes.

No misdemeanor.

Plead guilty to the felony or no deal.

No deal.

I'm gonna nail that kid. And I'm gonna nail you.

And I'm gonna love every minute of it.

I'll see you in court.

Mitchell: The defendant reached under the dropcloth

and extracted a baggy filled with

a white powdery substance resembling cocaine

which he handed to me.

As I took it from him, he said, "Where's my $1,000?"

What did you do at that time, Detective?

I told him he was under arrest, read him rights

and took him into custody.

Thank you, Detective. No further questions.

Mr. Sifuentes?

Detective Mitchell, did any money

change hands between you and Mr. Sullivan?

No.

Oh, so in other words, when you seized

the baggy from him, there was no real transaction, was there?

I didn't seize anything. He delivered it to me.

Second, it's against LAPD policy

to carry cash around like that.

Detective Mitchell, what did you do with the baggy

that you say you confiscated from the defendant?

I placed it in an evidence bag.

- Peoples Exhibit A? - Yes.

I'm just curious.

How could you be so sure, Detective Mitchell,

that this is the very same evidence bag?

I placed my initials on it with a felt tip pen.

R.M., right here.

I placed my initials on the baggy

in a likewise fashion with a grease tip marker.

Could I see that, please?

Is this some kind of trick?

What? No!

Move for dismissal, Your Honor!

Objection! Well, this is outrageous!

That's enough.

I wanna see both attorneys in chambers, please.

Okay, what the hell is going on here?

Marilyn: Obviously, someone stole the evidence!

Victor: Without which the state cannot establish the elements

of a crime, Your Honor.

For all the D.A. can prove, Mr. Sullivan could

have been selling baby powder.

We have a taped transcript of the sale.

The testimony of the undercover agent.

Plus, the lab analysis of the evidence.

Admitting the report without the evidence in court

would deny my client his constitutional right

to confront and cross-examine the witnesses

and evidence against him!

Your Honor, at the very least, I'd move for a continuance.

Victor: To what end?

You're the one who said it was obviously stolen.

Do you have any realistic hope of finding

the evidence within the statutory time?

No, Your Honor.

Well, then I'm afraid he's got you, Miss Feldman.

I have no choice but to dismiss.

[indistinct chattering]

Mr. Sifuentes? Want to join us?

My dad's gonna take us out to celebrate.

Marilyn: Victor?

So you know, there's gonna be a full investigation.

Good. I'd like to know what happened, too.

- Oh, I bet you would. - What does that mean?

Everyone knows Victor Sifuentes

will do anything to win a case.

And if there's no other way, he just steals the evidence!

Victor: You have just bought yourself a lawsuit, counselor.

Yeah?

Well, in case you forgot, truth is a total defense, counselor.

Well, keep talking. Believe me, I can use the money.

I'm gonna see you disbarred.

Man 1: As a cop for 11 years,

and then six as a lawyer in private practice.

I know the junkies,

the thieves and the dope pushers.

And some of these guys, when they come up on their first rap,

you know they made a mistake.

But others on their first rap,

you know they're hardened criminals on the rise.

A judge needs to know the difference.

I know them when I see them.

And that's the experience I'll bring

to the Municipal bench.

Thank you.

[applause]

That concludes the candidates' statements.

The floor is now open for questions.

- Miss Van Owen? - Yes?

Miss Van Owen, isn't it true that

to most of your colleagues you are something

of a laughing stock?

I beg your pardon?

Isn't it true that you walked out on your own

wedding two weeks with someone in a gorilla suit?

Well, that story has been grossly exaggerated

and I won't even dignify it with a response.

Proving once again a picture is worth a thousand words.

Who's the ape, Miss Van Owen?

[laughter]

Grace, listen.

This whole thing's gonna blow over!

It will not blow over!

I can see the headlines now!

Candidate Van Owen goes ape at wedding.

It's over! I'm pulling out of the race.

I wish you wouldn't do that.

Michael, no advice.

Grace...

Everything has gone wrong from the day that I met you.

- Oh, come on! - Please, just leave me alone.

I'll call you.

No, don't.

I need the time to think.

[instrumental music]

Man 2: You're a difficult and ornery woman, young lady.

Thank you.

But I cannot believe that you expect us

to stand passively by while this crazed bag lady

of yours becomes the recipient of $80 million dollars.

That was never my intent.

Was it your intent to have every homeless

ambulatory schizophrenic in Los Angeles

move to Beverly Hills?

- Absolutely not. - Well...

Let her finish.

For those poor people who actually live in Beverly Hills,

I want a soup kitchen and residential housing set up.

For the larger picture, however, I will again give you

the list of charitable foundations

which serve the needy throughout Los Angeles.

I still think we can win this case

in a trial on its own merits.

Gentlemen, while I'm rattling my saber

and you are out watering your hydrants over what amounts

to a territorial dispute, there are thousands of people

in Los Angeles whose genuine suffering

can be alleviated with the funds from this trust.

I implore you, save us all the time and expense

of a trial which we both know you'll lose.

Do the decent and right thing.

Be the trustees of Miss Merrywell's spirit

as well as her money!

What do you say?

[instrumental music]

Grace Van Owen, please. Michael Kuzak calling.

She must be there.

I just came from court and I've been trying her at home.

Would you please tell her that I called?

Thank you.

We're not looking for a lengthy and bitter dispute here.

In consideration of which, we've compiled

a new and revised schedule of assets.

In the interest of fairness, our list of Mr. Turtletaub's

holdings now includes 125 shares of Aesop Productions,

gift from his father, part ownership in

the racehorse "Gimme a Turtle",

the bank account in the Netherland Antilles,

a 35-acre apple orchard in Oregon

and a coin collection valued at $458.

Okay. Well, it'll take some time

to investigate this new list.

In the interim, we'll be asking for

an immediate increase in monthly support to $8,000.

God Almighty.

I mean, you make it sound like I got a million bucks hidden

in some Swiss vault or something.

You cheap crook! You probably do.

Oh, that's great, great.

You know, you can sue us and we can sue you.

And by the time the dust settles,

the lawyers will be rich.

And there'll be nothing left for us to split up!

Your wife won't cave in to that sort of bullying,

Mr. Turtletaub.

Maybe she'll cave in to this sort of bullying.

What's that?

Photos, Miss Perkins, of Mrs. Turtletaub

in the backyard of her home sunbathing topless

with her lesbian lover.

- What? - Here's another.

- She's caressing her lover. - Let me see those!

Oh, for God's sake, this is Jessica Lehman.

She and her three-year-old live with us to help meet expenses.

I'm not caressing her.

I'm putting suntan lotion on her back.

We plan to petition the court to appoint

a guardian ad litem to represent

the special interests of the child.

We also want Mrs. Turtletaub and her lover to undergo

a psychological evaluation.

How can you do this to me?

On the other hand, Mr. Turtletaub will not

contest the joint custody provision

of the settlement agreement as long as Mrs. Turtletaub

signs this amended agreement right now as is

and agrees to terminate her live-in relationship

with Ms. Lehman.

Even if you could prove a lesbian relationship...

Which you can't.

Mrs. Turtletaub's sexual orientation has no bearing

on the quality of care.

Woman 1: Why don't we just let the court

decide that, Miss Perkins?

You disgusting, low-life snake!

You can't even meet my eyes. This is such a crock!

There's no way I'm gonna let you poison my child.

You wanna hang out with your dyke friends,

fine, be my guest.

But you're not gonna raise my little girl!

Unless I sign the agreement, then it's okay!

You started this brawl, lady, not me!

I'll take her out of the state before I let you have her.

Miss Perkins, your client is threatening a felony!

Joan: You're the felon!

Hey, that's it! The hell with this agreement!

I wouldn't sign it now if you got down on your knees!

By the time I'm through, you wanna see that little kid,

you buy yourself a telescope.

Stop it!

You are disgraceful, both of you!

You're using a six-year-old child

to beat each other to death!

If you wanna punish each other, that's your own business!

But you have no right to destroy your child in the process!

How dare you use this woman's child to blackmail her?

And how dare you threaten to steal her from her father!

Do either one of you know what it feels like

to not be able to see your child?

Or even know where he is? Well, I do.

And as far as I'm concerned,

neither one of you is fit to be a parent!

I understand the poor and the homeless

have something to cheer about.

How did you hear?

Man by the name of Jarrett called me a while ago.

- Jarrett from the bank? - The same.

Said they're giving in to your demands.

He said he liked your stuff.

So much so, he's asked to retain you to handle

all the bank's future litigations.

- Are you serious? - Mm-hmm.

Figures to be worth a half million dollars

a year to us in fees.

I can't believe this.

Yes.

Well...

here's another surprise.

$87,000 to me?

In light of your rain dance,

we've decided to waive your buy-in to the partnership.

Hence the return of your contribution.

I don't know what to say. It's...

Well, it falls short of reflecting

how proud I am of you, Ann.

You did a great thing for a worthy cause.

And that check is just our way of saying

that we like your stuff too.

[instrumental music]

- Victor? - Marilyn?

Great looking shirt.

I've been searching all over for something in that color.

Since I got to figure that you didn't invite me out

to a $100 lunch to quiz me on fashion tips,

I'm gonna take a wild guess that this has something

to do with my lawsuit.

I wanted you to hear it from me.

There'll be some arrests this afternoon.

Oh, yeah?

Three court clerks.

For the last six months,

they've been stealing cocaine out of evidence.

Most of the time, the case gets settled before trial,

so it never gets discovered.

Yesterday, LAPD stung one of the guys.

And he rolled over on the other two.

Hmm. What you're saying is my client just got lucky.

- Looks that way. - Interesting.

And it sure does beef up my slander suit now

that you've lost your truth defense.

Victor, isn't there anything we can do?

I'd really like to settle this out of court.

What do you want from my life? You wanna see me squirm?

For starters.

What else? Anything.

Well, you could apologize.

I'm sorry, Victor. I really am.

A public apology.

I'll write a letter to "The Times."

And a press conference.

Okay.

Thank you, Victor.

I appreciate how reasonable you've been.

- And your chair. - What?

Your rocking chair.

Well, I write all my opening

and closing arguments in that chair!

That chair's priceless to me!

Okay, no problem.

Thank you.

Yeah. I mean, with a million dollar judgment,

I can go buy my own chair, right?

I'll have it delivered to your office.

- May I take your order? - Mm-hmm.

What's the most expensive thing on your menu?

[instrumental music]

Katie?

Katie?

Oh!

What do you, ahem, what do you want now?

I just came to inform my client that we won.

I get the money?

Well, you get food, clothing.

Oh, I do my own shopping. Give me some money.

It isn't that simple.

But if you go down and register at

the Residential Hotel on Burton Way,

you'll find you have a bed.

And, for food, they're gonna set up a soup kitchen

at the Presbyterian Church.

I ain't goin' nowhere.

But, Katie, these places are gonna feed you and house you.

Nobody tells me where to go and what to eat.

But, Katie...

If I wanted three hots and a cot forever,

all I have to do slit your throat.

Put that away.

You lied to me. You told me I'd get the money,

and you're keeping it for yourself.

But all I get is rules to follow and lines to stand in.

And places to go!

But, Katie, this is all being done to help you.

Help me? Give me money!

Just give me money, you want to help me.

If you ain't a liar!

There, now this is help.

This is helping Katie.

What are you gonna do with it?

None of your damn business. I do what I want.

This is help! Get to do what I want!

And I cut anyone else who messes with me.

Soup kitchen!

You're not telling me where to go.

Katie helps herself. Nobody helps Katie.

Katie helps Katie!

[indistinct chattering]

Corrinne, you wanted to see me?

Yeah.

I just stopped down in the wake of your outburst

to tell you that Garth Turtletaub telephoned me.

He and his wife sat down alone after the meeting

and they're willing to set aside the custody issue

for the time being.

That's good.

Assuming cooperation from your end,

I'd like to reconvene in the next couple of days.

See if we can't hammer out the agreement.

Fine.

As a personal aside, I'd have to say that you managed

to interject a refreshing dose of...

Naivety?

No, of morality to the proceedings.

Thank you.

Given time, you'll probably get over it.

- The woman of the hour. - Hi, Stuart.

- Congratulations. - Thanks.

Plus, I hear you made so much rain for this firm,

we're all gonna have to wear galoshes.

Speaking of which, Leland waived my buy-in.

I am gonna be able to pay you back in full.

Well, try not to get too excited.

I wish I could.

Are you kidding?

You just shook, what, $8 million dollars a year

from that trust? You're a hero.

That's what I thought until I went to tell my client.

She practically spit in my eye.

She doesn't want clinics or hot meals or clean beds.

What does she want?

A suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel?

- She wants the cash. - Oh.

She wants to be left the hell alone

which effectively means that not one nickel of that trust

is gonna get to her or to the thousands like her.

And you think this is your fault?

Society has abandoned them.

No. It sounds to me like they've abandoned society.

Okay, it's their fault, but what's the answer?

Are we supposed to just pretend they don't exist?

Roll up the windows, jack up the car radio

and try not to think about the homeless subculture

living out of their shopping carts.

Because the richest society in the world can't figure out

a way to take care of them?

Ann, money can't solve every problem.

And I'll tell you something else,

every problem can't be solved.

But at least now there's $8 million dollars a year,

compliments of Ann Kelsey, that's gonna help feed

and clothe and shelter an awful lot of people

who otherwise wouldn't have had anything.

I think that's pretty terrific.

I'll tell you something else.

I think you're pretty terrific.

- If you say so. - Yeah, I say so.

I also say you owe me dinner.

- You got it. - All right.

Le Singe? I'll make the reservation.

Isn't that pretty expensive?

Ann, you just got an $87,000 bonus.

You worried about dinner?

Money. Either I feel guilty for having it

or I feel cheated for not having it.

Okay, I give up. I'll tell you what.

I'll cook dinner at home.

I'll whip up a really dry tuna fish casserole.

And then we'll crack a bottle of really cheap jug wine.

- In bed? - Yeah.

- Sounds great. - 8:00.

Be there and bring your jammies.

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Ta-da!

[laughs] Oh, look who's back. You balloonatic!

Oh, your timing is perfect.

I have been aching to speak to you.

No, don't say a word.

For the first time in my life, I am really free

of all the things I was supposed to be.

A good girl, a good wife, a good judge.

And I'm finally free of Kevin, finally.

I was carrying around this guilt in my gut

and it was poisoning my passion for you.

But now I don't feel like he's this poor

helpless creature I mortally wounded.

And I know I'm babbling.

But, damn it, it feels so good.

And you have been so patient.

But I am so turned on right now.

So why don't you take this suit off, mister.

And we're gonna do something right here

in my office that we could get arrested for

in any other state.

I love you, Mickey.

I love you too.

[instrumental music]

[clattering]

[dramatic music]

Security?

This is Abigail Perkins

at McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney, Kuzak.

I think we have a burglar up here.

Take the back!

Dwight.

Freeze it, bub!

Fred, he's coming to you! He's yours!

I said, freeze!

The hell with you! You pushed my face into the carpet!

You wanna see me do it again?

Hey, hey, hey! Shut up!

What were you doing up here?

I've got a key, okay? I used to work here.

I left some paperwork behind and I came to get it.

He worked here?

Up until a few weeks ago.

Oh, you guys are in for it now.

My attorney's here.

All right, what's going on here?

We got a call these guys made a drug pop.

They're not even real cops!

Now they say the old guy sucked it up

with the vacuum sweeper.

I just checked the conference room.

If he had a stash in there, it's gone now.

Well, what about the baggy, huh?

What about it? It's empty.

It's soaked with carpet goo.

And it's got your crummy fingerprints all over it.

I don't know anything about this, Mr. Sifuentes.

I was just up here looking for some paperwork I left behind

and these goons jumped me.

I'm gonna sue you guys for about a million bucks...

Doesn't this guy ever shut up?

Hey, aren't you gonna arrest him, huh?

For what? Stupidity?

If that were a crime, you guys would be doin' life.

Hey!

He's all yours, counselor.

Hey, hey, hey!

Thanks.

Do you believe this? I'm gonna file a lawsuit.

Assault, illegal search and seizure.

Go home, Jeffrey.

What?

You don't really believe all this, do you, Mr. Sifuentes?

I swear, after all I've been through?

Those drugs probably belonged to the old black guy.

Go home, Jeffrey, now. Before your luck runs out

and I throw you through a window.

You got that?

Absolutely.

[chuckles]

Loud and clear.

Grace: And then I locked the doors

and I'm running my hands all over his ape suit.

Telling him hot I am.

And all the things I'm going to do to him.

I almost raped the poor guy.

So next time, send me flowers like my other boyfriends do.

Do you sort of coax your eyebrows up like that?

Or do they grow that way by themselves?

- I have them styled. - Styled? Really?

Look, Mickey, I know I've been difficult

these last couple of weeks.

And you have been incredibly sensitive and patient.

Well, I'm a very evolved person.

Not that evolved.

The point being is that I am finally

and totally unconflicted.

I don't feel guilty about Kevin anymore.

I'm actually relieved about not running for judge.

- Oh. So am I. - Really?

Well, you never would have gone out in public with me.

What I'm trying to say here is that now that we have,

I'm experiencing this very pressing need

to be private with you.

Pressing where?

All over.

An extremely hot plate.

Uh, could you put... both the dinners,

plus the champagne, into a doggie bag?

And bring us the check right away.

Extremely... hot date.

Thank you, Mickey.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]