All language subtitles for L.A.Law.S01E03.House.of.the.Rising.Flan.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track4_[eng]

[telephone ringing]

- Morning, Mr. Brackman.
- Miss Melman.

Victor, how goes it?

- Good.
- Good, very good.

Brackman: How long have you
been with us now, Victor?

Well, it's closing in on
eight or nine days now.

- Getting acclimated?
- So far, so good.

Brackman: Good.

I was thinking it might be nice
if we got to know

each other outside the office.

Maybe come to the house
for dinner sometime.

- That'd be nice.
- How about tonight?

Tonight? I'd have to
check on my calendar.

Try. 7:30, come alone.

Be there or be square.

[toilet flushes]

- Hi there, kid.
- Hi, Rox.

- How we doing?
- Oh, I'm surviving.

You hang in there, honey.

You may not realize it yet,

but you're better off
without him.

Thanks, Roxanne, really.

Men, take away the sex part
and the security part,

and they're the total pits.

Brackman: In consideration of
which, we will be substantially

reducing our purchases of
Perrier and other soft drinks,

therefore I strongly urge you
to limit consumption

to one refreshment per client.

[sighs]
God, Douglas.

This firm's monthly
beverage bill has leapfrogged

into the low four figures.

A dehydrated clientele is
an unhappy clientele, Douglas.

Let them drink water.

Now, if you don't mind,
status re Lewis tax audit.

He's coming in at 11:30.

I continue to advance
the notion of postponement.

Oh, Stuart is ready.
Irving is adamant.

No postponement.

Brackman: So be it.
What about Rosen vs. Rosen?

- Settling.
- Galloway vs. Galloway?

Substantive issues resolved.

They're still beefing over
the custody of Squeaker.

- Squeaker?
- Their Yorkie.

Mrs. Galloway refers to it
as Squeaker of the house.

Brackman: Snyder vs. Snyder.

Mr. Snyder claims
that Mrs. Snyder

was unfaithful on
14 separate occasions,

one weekend in Vegas.

Mrs. Snyder essentially
agrees but alleges

it was at the request
of Mr. Snyder

who desperately needed
immediate cash to save

his floundering go-go bar
in Long Beach.

I know I shouldn't touch it.

But it's a classic in its genre.

Perkins vs. Perkins.

Mr. Perkins is under a
TRO pending the court's ruling

on custody and visitation
of their minor son Eric.

We wish you
well, Miss Perkins,

during your time
of emotional travail.

Thank you.

Moving on, Locklin vs.
Pier Amusement Park, Inc.,

proceeding to trial, when?

This afternoon.

Oh, that's pretty short notice.

Are you fully prepared?

Does a chicken have lips?

McKenzie: Oh, stepping in for
a deceased attorney,

you're certainly
entitled to a continuance.

This case has been
dragging on for four years.

If we wait for a new court date,

that's another year.

Aren't the issues
rather clear cut anyway?

Young boy suffers devastating
neurological damage

due to negligent operation
of amusement park ride.

Jury empathizes copiously,
comes back with large award.

I know the lawyer was
a friend of yours, Leland.

But his pretrial preparation
is inexcusably sloppy.

Minimal discovery
and a low rent Dr. Feelgood

is his expert witness.

Frankly, I find
that surprising.

In his day, Donald Erlinger was,
uh, he's the best there was.

- May I ask a question?
- Ann.

Does a chicken have lips?

[imitating chicken clucking]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

No, no, no, no,
see, the point is,

when a client is present
at an IRS appeal,

it's another wildcard.

Yeah, I, I agree with Leland.

We give up a lot in
the way of leverage.

Irving, if Leland or I
were to accompany

Stuart down there, would that
make you more confident?

What's the big
tsimmes here anyway?

Three million dollars,
Mr. Lewis.

If the IRS determines
that Mrs. Lewis'

show business career
constituted a hobby

rather than a
legitimate business,

that's $2.8 million
plus penalties.

Hobby, my tuchus.

When they see her new video,

they're gonna wind up
owing us money.

This woman is a
white Whitney Houston.

I'll go to Supreme Court
if I have to.

It will, uh, hopefully,
that won't be necessary.

You see, in the appeal
officer in this case

is a gentleman named
Marv Fletcher,

and, uh, Marv's got
a drinking problem.

Oh, we'll, uh,
bury him in paper.

Then around 4:00, 4:30, when his
mouth starts feeling dry,

we'll... we'll come in
with a lowball offer.

I postponed four times
till we got him.

Good. I like that
kind of thinking.

But, trust me,
this baby is the clincher.

You fellas got a VCR machine
here anywhere?

You're in for a treat.

♪ I always related
to Red Riding Hood ♪

♪ I picture myself skipping
through the Woods ♪

♪ I wanna be chased
and scared real good ♪

♪ I always thought that
wolves were misunderstood ♪

- Look at those legs.
- Ah!

♪ Had a basket of goodies
and a heart full of soul ♪

Sorry, I left some notes.

♪ Until I do what I'm told ♪

♪ I'll keep on doing
it until I'm very old ♪

♪ As long as there's a wolf
around that I can hold ♪

This is the part I love where
Dinitra rubs up against the guy.

♪ Ah hoo! ♪

Is that sex appeal or what?

♪ Ah hoo! ♪

[clears throat]

Huh? I ask you,
is this woman a pistol?

Good afternoon,
ladies, gentlemen.

With your indulgence,
I'd like to tell you

a once upon a time story.

Once upon a time, there was a
little boy named Jamie Locklin.

He was seven years old.

He was happy and healthy
and normal in every way.

His favorite things were
Rocky Road ice cream,

his little dog Misty,

the Dodgers baseball team,

and the amusement park that was
less than a mile from his house.

One day, as a reward
for sweeping up

all the leaves in the backyard,

Jamie's mother gave him
five dollars.

He took the money,
ran to the amusement park,

rode the merry-go-round twice,
played skee-ball

in the penny arcade,

but what Jamie really
wanted to do

was ride the bumper cars.

Only as long as he can remember,

he'd been turned away
from the bumper car ride

because there was a sign outside

that said how tall
you had to be.

And little Jamie's head
never reached anywhere

near the top of the sign.

Only on this day there was
a new guy working there,

a teenager actually,
who was too busy

trying to make a date with
a pretty blonde girl in shorts

to pay much attention to Jamie.

So Jamie paid his 50 cents.

And happy as could be,
he climbed into a bumper car.

Now I know that in a good
once upon a time story,

this would be the happy ending.

But, unfortunately,
in our story,

this is where it gets
dark and ugly

the way real life
sometimes does.

You see,
on this particular day,

there was a gang of
high school boys at the park.

When they saw little Jamie
in the bumper car,

they decided, the way bullies
often do, that it would be

fun to gang up on someone
who couldn't fight back.

The sport was to get Jamie,

to hit him
and then hit him again,

smashing into this undersized
boy in his inadequately

cushioned bumper car over
and over again, head-on,

blindside, from the rear,

making him shriek and cry
and beg for them to stop.

Only they didn't stop.

So they just kept hitting Jamie.

He remembers 20, 25 times,

his little body and neck

whipping back and forth
until finally

he doesn't remember anything
at all... until the next day

when he woke up
in a hospital room.

Now, I know that we are asking
for a lot of money today

to compensate Jamie
for the injuries he suffered

in the bumper car.

A million dollars, a fortune,
you might say.

But is it?

How do you measure compensation
for the kind

of searing bone-gnashing,
blinding pain

that this little boy suffers
every day of his life

since the bumper car assault?

The truth is there isn't
any amount of money

adequate enough to
compensate for so much pain.

But, unfortunately,
money is the best we can do

toward addressing
Jamie's grievous injuries

and toward punishing
the amusement park

so that this sort of thing
never happens again.

Unfortunately, not exactly a
fairy tale ending,

but in real life
the best we can do.

Thank you.

It is nearing 4:00 p.m.
We will recess for the day.

And we shall reconvene
at 9:00 a.m.

[doorbell chimes]

Oh, Mr. Sifuentes, I presume.

- Miss Brackman.
- Sheila. Come in. Come in.

Thank you.

Uh, these are for you.

Mmm, they're lovely.

It's such a pleasure
to meet you.

Douglas has spoken
so highly of you.

- Oh, thank you.
- And you're so tall.

Amigo, welcome.

- Mr. Brackman.
- Come.

Estella.

Estella Escobar,
meet Victor Sifuentes.

We're not just talking
your average housekeeper.

I mean,
Maria is an absolute gem,

a valued member
of their family almost.

Tricia lets her drive the
Mercedes wagon, for God's sake.

So here they are,
schlepping out of Gelson's

with $200 worth of groceries,

Maria and both Guttman children,

when these INS goons
sweep down on them

from literally nowhere
and kidnap this poor woman

out of the parking lot.

Thank God Tricia was home
taking a tennis lesson.

She rushed out
and picked up the children.

But can you imagine?
It was devastating.

Her little ones are
still traumatized.

Every time Tricia just
drives past Gelson's,

the children start to shriek.

Speaking of which,
Estella, darling,

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

- So what do you think?
- Oh, she's very nice.

You can see why we're
so anxious to keep her.

Keep her?

Estella, of course,
our housekeeper.

- She's your housekeeper?
- From El Salvador.

And, frankly, Victor, we're
worried sick about losing her,

particularly after
that nightmare

the Guttman's have gone through.

That's why we were hoping,
after you met her, of course,

that you'd want to help her out.

Well, I'm not expert
on immigration law, but I...

I'd certainly be willing
to initiate the paperwork.

I could do that myself, amigo.

But with the INS cracking
down harder every day,

and it takes years to get 'em
their green cards...

Actually, I was wondering if
you'd be amenable to marriage,

strictly for convenience sake,
of course.

And I can assure you it wouldn't
hurt you career-wise.

And after a year or so,
she files for divorce.

You got a hell of a nerve
setting me up like this,

pimping for your housekeeper,
humiliating her.

No wonder she couldn't
look me in the eye.

- Shh. Calm down.
- Calm down?

What have you got in
between your ears anyway?

It can't be brains.
You're sitting on them.

So forget about it.
No big deal.

- Oh...
- Tada.

Victor, wait until you
taste this woman's flan.

[indistinct chatter]

I suppose I owe you
an apology.

You got that right.

On review,
it was insensitive of me

not to tell you my plan
before springing it like that.

Insensitivity aside, what you
are trying to do is illegal.

Shh. I regard it as a great
favor, Victor, a great favor

if you would take on her case
by the numbers, no hanky panky.

Please, Victor.
I'm a desperate man.

Sheila is virtually
paralyzed with fear

that Estella is gonna be picked
up in one of those sweeps.

It's all I hear about
night and day.

If not for me,
then for Estella.

Hmm.

I've already started
the paperwork.

It's not her fault
you're such a jerk.

Mr. Locklin, finally,
would you describe,

not as an expert,
but just as a father,

the changes in Jamie
since the accident?

He was always, uh...

you know,
the happiest kind of kid...

big smile on his face, sunshine.

His mother used to
call him that before...

And now he's, uh, he's...

See, the doctors say that
there's nothing they can do.

But I know that that's not true.

I read about this
clinic in Switzerland.

And if we had the money, I...
We could take him there.

Objection. Irrelevant.

Maybe we could do
something for Jamie.

- We could--
- Objection sustained.

Mr. Locklin, you will please
confine yourself

to answering
the question as posed.

I'm sorry, Your Honor.

It's just that...
It's just that he's my boy.

[clears throat]

The hour's approaching noon.
We will recess until 1:00 p.m.

At that time, we will resume
Mr. Locklin's testimony.

We'll be going over some
of the possible questions...

Kuzak, if you could spare
a moment of your time.

Excuse me,
I'll catch up with you.

You're really very skillful,
Mr. Kuzak.

If I was on that jury,
you'd have me in your pocket.

Do I take this to be
your opening move

in the settlement tango,
Mr. Resler?

Not exactly.

I believe you to be
an ethical man, Mr. Kuzak.

Accordingly, I'm going to assume
you knew nothing about this.

I didn't until yesterday.

A revised list of the witnesses
I intend to call.

Under the circumstances,
I wouldn't object

if you ask for a continuance.

- Who's Dr. Maxwell Rosen?
- Ask your clients.

Somehow, during discovery,

they managed to
forget all about it.

You-- you might also
want to ask about, uh,

Arnold Wexler, attorney.

Locklin legally adopted
the boy shortly after

the bumper car incident.

Are there any other witnesses
I should ask my client about?

Several, though I'm not
certain how Judge Nozaki

would feel about their
presence in his courtroom...

Foxy Lady, Rupert's Pride,
Dilly Dally,

just a few of
Mr. Locklin's losers

this weekend in Hollywood Park.

It is not a crime to play
the ponies, Mr. Resler.

True, and if Jamie's case
doesn't pan out,

he'll even has own
personal injury suit

when both his legs get broken.

Your loving, devoted,
selfless daddy, Mr. Kuzak,

is in deep with the books.

So big deal.
Rosen testifies for them.

We got Dr. Phillips on our team.

According to Dr. Rosen's
sworn statement,

he treated Jamie after
the bumper car accident.

Diagnosis, superficial abrasions
and cervical strains.

In other words, scratches
and a mild whiplash.

You're a smart lawyer,
Mr. Kuzak.

You can trick 'em up
on the stand,

make him look like
an incompetent.

Dr. Rosen also treated Jamie
two years prior

to the bumper car incident
when he fell out of a swing set

in your backyard, says here,
Jamie was in a coma

for seven days, hospitalized
for a total of three weeks.

He needed an orthopedic brace

and physical therapy
for 11 months.

You have any idea how much
something like that costs, huh?

Damn near broke my back.

So when this other
thing happened,

you figured you could get even.

You adopted Jamie,
legally changed his name

so that the medical records
on this earlier accident

couldn't be traced.

Look at him.

He is never going to be
completely normal.

You don't think he deserves
some time of help? What?

You want my heart to bleed
for the insurance company?

They've got more money than God.

I mean, who's it
gonna hurt, huh?

Just tell me that.
Who the hell is it gonna hurt?

As we assess that the,
uh, taxpayer, uh, has deprived

the government of $2,823,418
in uncollected revenues.

- Over my dead body.
- Irving, please.

Mr. Fletcher, I can certainly
see how it... at first blush,

you might assess things
that way, which is why

I prepared a few
additional table schedules

and indices for you to peruse.
Excuse me.

Ray, want to bring
them in there?

Here.
Just put them right here.

- Great. Thanks.
- Good Lord.

A journey of a
thousand miles must begin

with the first step,
Mr. Fletcher.

So, uh, excuse me.

Pardon me.

So, uh, in no
particular order...

uh, here's a, a schedule of

deductions arising
from Mrs. Lewis'

recent video cassette,
appended to which

is a discussion
of the implications

of the proposed tax revision

on the investment
tax credit of same.

And before we'd
need even consider

the specific deductions,

I must first be persuaded
that Mrs. Lewis

had a bona fide intent
to make a profit.

And, quite frankly,
in the absence

of income-generating
activities...

In Vegas,
they paid her $100,000.

Yeah, uh, she sang two numbers
in the 1984 telethon.

I'd be willing to bet the
$100,000 was paid pursuant

to her agreement that she
donate it back to the charity.

By me, she makes Streisand
look like amateur night.

[clears throat]

Frankly, Mr. Fletcher,
I anticipated

you're having some problems
in this area.

And that's why I prepared this
schedule for your convenience.

1-18-83, Good Morning, Omaha,
she earned $137.50.

3-25, Regis Philbin
Show, $137.50.

4-30, In the Kitchen
with Dinah...

I'm afraid not, gentlemen.

Even if arguendo,

I'm convinced there is
a bona fide intent,

these so-called business
expenses are completely

out of line and grossly
exceed any income.

Which ones exactly?

One hundred and twenty seven
thousand dollars

for hairstyling.

Well, I should point out,
Mr. Fletcher,

that's hairstyling
and nail maintenance.

But here it is,
right here, hairstyling.

Here we go.
Let's start in, uh, 1983.

1-1, shampoo, cut,
and blow dry, you with me?

- Right.
- Two hundred and fifty dollars.

And there's a,
a $50 gratuity as well.

1-2, full set of
porcelain nails, $75...

Oh, and, by the way,
my car's in the lot.

It'll be okay there
after dark, won't it?

Now, now, look at this,
$863,000 for wardrobe?

It's over a three-year period.

And I'm sure if you'll
just be a little patient,

you'll see that every dollar
is accounted for.

Here we go.

Here's for you.

Alright. 1-3-83,
Bugle Beads, you with me?

So it's red, $312,
blue, $289, gold, $371...

Uh, no. U.S. vs. Van Allen,
U.S. vs. Jameson.

This is not a business,
and that's it.

Well, I, with all due respect,
Mr. Fletcher,

I. I truthfully don't think
you've taken into consideration

the full implications
of the recent case,

U.S. vs. Miller,
which is directly on point.

- Miller?
- Miller.

Yeah, in an appeal
from a judgment from

the United States District Court

from the Central District of
California,

reviewing a district
court's ruling

for finding of summary
judgment, Miller...

Uh, Mr. Markowitz,
it's so late.

The IRS, uh, originally
disallowed deductions

arising from
the taxpayer's activities

as an organizer and baritone
of a barbershop group quartet,

stating his expenditures
for, uh, uh, wardrobe,

including dry-cleaning
of the striped shirts,

uh, hair tonic, as well as
singing lessons, washboard,

and fiddle, drum accompaniment,
and transportation

to and from his
friend's apartment

where the group rehearsed
two times weekly

as grossly exceeding any income
generated by the quartet,

the IRS disallowed
the taxpayer's assertion

of bona fide intention
to earn a profit.

Is there much more?

Well, in summary,
the court of appeals found

in favor of defendant Miller,
stating the IRS had no business

of judging professional
or amateur status

in professions of individuals
if they earned

any income whatsoever,
no matter how much

their expenses
exceeded such income.

And I have a table.

Uh, no, no, no, please.

I'll tell you what.

Give me the evening to refresh
my memory, uh,

about the precedence
that you've already cited.

And-- and we'll meet
again tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.

at-- at which time
I'll give you my ruling.

- You killer, you son of a gun.
- I made it up.

- You made up what?
- U.S. vs. Miller.

I made up every word of it.

So what?
He bought it, didn't he?

It's fraud, for God's sakes.
I could go to jail.

- Only if he checks.
- Irving, I, I'm sorry.

But I, I gotta
go back in there.

Hey, listen to me, kid,
5:15, right?

Ten-to-one he's in the bathroom
right now having a swig.

By 7:00, he's blato.
He drifts home by 11:00.

He passes out on the sofa.
He oversleeps.

He chugs a couple of beers
for breakfast just to get even.

And then he shows up
at tomorrow's meeting

pretending that he knew
what you were talking about

because he's embarrassed to
admit

that he was too bombed
to look it up.

If I don't go back
in there right now,

I may as well bend over
and kiss my career good-bye.

If you do that, kid,
you might as well bend over

and kiss my business good-bye.

[sighs]

Stuart: I, I, I don't know
what came over me.

I mean, I've never done anything
like that before in my life.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I, I'm damned if I do,
damned if I don't.

If Fletcher researches it,
discovers the lie,

he nails me for fraud.

But if I go in there and tell
him I was just kidding,

he nails Irving Lewis,

and Lewis pulls his business
from the firm.

And either way, if the Ethics
Committee finds out,

I'll be disbarred.

I don't think
they'd really disbar you.

They wouldn't?

Probably just an interim
suspension, probation.

Great.

There's a third alternative.

What? Tell me.

Do nothing.

Chances are you were so
convincing, he'll sit down,

negotiate a favorable
settlement.

Nah, it's, uh, it's dishonest.

I-- I could never
live with myself.

Diogenes would love you.

Probably wanna deduct
the cost of the lantern

as a business expense.
[chuckles]

Anyway, look, I, I've made
my bed. I'll sleep in it.

Speaking of which, um...
how would you like to grant

a condemned man his last wish?

- If I can.
- Spend the night with me?

[sighs]

I like you, Stuart, a lot.

I just don't wanna rush it.

Was it...

Was I that bad the first time?

I don't know.

Truth is, I don't remember.

So not terrible,
just... not memorable?

Stuart, I'm not much of
a drinker. I got drunk.

I don't remember anything
that happened

after we left Leland's party.

For all I know,
it never happened at all.

It happened.

It was the sexiest
night of my life.

You were probably wonderful.

I just can't remember.

- Are you sober now?
- Totally.

Mm.

Maybe I need a
refresher course.

Check, please.

- Mr. Fletcher?
- Already?

Yeah, I, uh, I wanna
speak to you

about that precedent
I cited yesterday.

Yeah, of course.

I spent some time
on it myself last night.

Interesting, if I could
only find my notes...

What was it you
were going to say?

Well, just that I reviewed it,
so I'm sure

we came to
the same conclusion.

And what conclusion was that?

That Miller isn't
really on point at all.

- No.
- Mm-hmm.

No, not at all.

And I'm sorry
I misspoke myself yesterday.

Well, as long as we
caught it in time, hmm?

So where does that
leave us exactly?

I guess I can't convince you
it's a business.

Look, I wanna be reasonable,
Mr. Markowitz.

You can tell your client
that he may take as much time

as he needs to pay off
the, uh, what was it?

- $2.8 million.
- 2.8.

I could probably
waive the penalties.

I hate to dump my personal
problems on you, Mr. Fletcher,

but 2.8... I could lose my job.

What if I sneaked 2.5
past my people?

Wouldn't help.

What do you think
you could live with?

How about 1.4?

Round numbers like that.

Mm.

What about... $1,766,000?

My boss will buy that.
What about yours?

One million seven hundred
thousand dollars?

Plus change.

Irving Lewis told me
that you were a genius,

that you had them bamboozled.
Some genius.

Yeah, well,
I, I committed a fraud.

I could have been disbarred.

Oh, and this way,
all that happens is

we lose a major client,
major dollars,

dollars that come
directly out of my pocket

as a partner in this firm.

I don't think Irving will
really pull out his business.

You haven't told him yet.

I-- I can't get
a hold of him.

Oh, well, you be sure
and let me know when you do.

- And in the meantime, Stuart?
- Yes, sir?

In the ecology of
this firm's food chain...

Yes, sir.

[indistinct chatter]

Here are the points
and authorities you needed.

Thanks.

I have to pick Eric up
at school and take him

to the dentist,
but I will be back by 2:30.

You don't have to
clock in and out with me.

- Just take care of yourself.
- Okay.

And... I'm here
if you need to talk.

Thank you, really. Thanks.

[indistinct chatter]

- Hi.
- Hi.

Is, um, Stacy around?

- Stacy's on her honeymoon.
- You're kidding.

I was here on Friday.
She didn't even tell me.

- You are?
- Eric's mom, Abigail Perkins.

Eric went home already.

What do you mean he went home?

His father picked him up.

He can't. There's,
there's a restraining order.

I told Stacy that.

Sorry.
Nobody said anything to me.

- What time was he here?
- About 11:30.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Resler: Mr. Locklin,
who is Dr. Maxwell Rosen?

He was a doctor who
treated Jamie years ago

after he fell off a swing set.

And his injuries
were quite serious.

Is that right?

Well, at the time,
they sure seemed that way,

to me and my wife at least.

But I guess that's
the way all parents are.

Anything that happens
to your boy

always hurts you the worst.

And, yet, Mr. Locklin,
when you were asked

in connection with this case
to provide a list of

all the doctors who had
treated Jamie during any time

in his life, you deliberately
omitted Dr. Rosen's name.

No, it was nothing deliberate.
I just forgot to write it down.

You forgot.

Tom: Well, after the bumper
car accident

and worrying about Jamie
I, I couldn't remember everyone

whoever filled a cavity
or put on a Band-Aid.

But this was more
than a Band-Aid,

a lot more, wasn't it?

Yes. Yes, you're right.

And I'm sorry if it caused
a problem, my forgetting it.

Isn't it true that you
deliberately omitted

Dr. Rosen's name
because you didn't want anyone

to know that it was
the accident on the swing set

that caused Jamie's
neurological problems

and not the bumper car ride?

No.

If you had seen Jamie
after the bumper car accident,

that's all I could think about,
how badly he'd been hurt.

It-- it didn't even
cross my mind to think

about a-- a little fall
he had when he was a baby.

Isn't it true, Mr. Locklin,
that you went so far

as to change Jamie's last name

to prevent us from discovering

his previous treatment
by Dr. Rosen?

What are you talking about?

Mr. Locklin,
you testified yesterday

about your son
Jamie's condition?

Yes.

Isn't it true that
Jamie Locklin

is actually our adopted son?

He's my son.

And, yes, I adopted him,
but I don't see

what this has to do with it.

Isn't it true you adopted him

right after
the bumper car incident?

- A few months afterward.
- Interesting timing.

What are you saying?

Isn't it true that you adopted
him because you saw

the chance to make money
off of his insurance claim?

As his father, you would
get some of it, right?

You could pay off your bookies.

- Objection.
- Withdraw the question.

Isn't it true, Mr. Locklin,
that the reason

you adopted Jamie
and gave him a new last name

is so that we would
never discover

any of his previous
medical records at all?

Do you really believe
what you're saying?

Or are you just going after me
because this is your job?

Just answer the question,
Mr. Locklin.

Alright.

I adopted him
because his biological father,

my wife's ex-husband,
wouldn't have

anything to do with him
after the bumper car accident.

He said it made him too
depressed to be around him.

Poor little boy,
he was in so much physical pain,

he didn't need that
kind of rejection, too.

So I adopted Jamie
because I wanted him to know

that he had a father
who loved him.

[sniffling]

[indistinct chatter]

- Full name.
- Eric Michael Perkins.

- Age?
- Three and a half.

- Exact date of birth.
- March 2nd, 1983.

- Okay. Height.
- About 3'2".

- Hair?
- Um, blond.

It's kind of a bowl cut.

- Weight?
- Thirty five pounds.

- What was he wearing?
- Sneakers.

They're red high tops.

Blue jeans, um,
a red and white T-shirt.

I have a picture of him.

Here's a copy of
the restraining order.

I've already spoken
with Judge Robins.

She'll issue a bench warrant
as soon as you call.

Okay. Uh, what kind of car
does your husband drive?

Ah, a '75 Volvo wagon.
It's white.

Man 1: You know the license
number offhand?

- No.
- That's okay.

When we get it,
we'll put it on the wire.

That, that's it?

I mean, you just
put it on the wire?

He's cleaned out
both bank accounts.

He has maxed out
the credit cards.

He has taken the boy's clothes.

This is not a weekend trip
to Disneyland, detective.

Counselor, do you know
how many missing kid reports

we get annually?

This is volume one
of a three-volume set.

You want my advice?

You get a good P.I.,
and you track him down yourself.

Damn it, detective.

My husband violates a TRO,
kidnapping my son,

and the best thing you can
tell me is to get my own P.I.?

Well, I'm sorry,
we don't have the time,

manpower, or money
to do the job for you.

[screaming]

I can't hold him.
I can't hold him.

[indistinct chatter]

[shouting]

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, now, with all due respect,

you see the kind of stuff
we have around here.

You get a line on him,
you give me a call,

and we'll take it from there.

Thank you, detective.

You'll call Judge Robins?

Even as we speak.

Come on, Abby.

[knock on door]

- Yes?
- Excuse me.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Not at all. Come in.

I heard what happened.
I'm terribly sorry.

Thank you.

- Has there been any word or...
- No.

[intercom buzzes]

Oh, I'm sorry.
Please sit down.

Yes?

Woman on intercom: Mr. McKenzie,
Mr. Lewis is here.

Put him in the
conference room.

Tell him I'll be with him
in a few minutes.

Now, then, just tell me
what we can do to help.

Actually,
what I've been thinking,

under the circumstances,
I think that it might be

in the firm's best interest
if I resigned.

I'll hear of no such thing.

I won't be capable of doing
the work that I was hired--

Miss Perkins,
getting your son back

is all that matters
toward which end you will have

the full resources of
this firm at your disposal.

Is that clear?

Yes.

Thank you, sir.

I, I'm just so afraid
that I won't ever see him again.

[sobbing]

[instrumental music]

She's gone.
Leland, she left me.

After everything I gave her,
huh, the money, the clothes,

the lessons, she leaves me
for that dancer in the video,

the blondie.

I thought he was a faygala.

The agent called me,
practically gets on his knees,

begging me to use him,
and this is the kind of--

Irving, are you
absolutely certain?

She didn't come home last night.

This morning, I get a
phone call, collect, no less.

She's in Hawaii with this yutz.

Look, she is a very
young woman, Irving.

Now, these things happen.

A week or two,
it'll run its course.

Don't you think I said that?

Sixty six,
I'm not the boy I used to be.

Don't get me wrong. I mean,
I function. I function plenty.

Look, I can understand
the fling, I tell her.

She says it's not a fling.

It's deep, spiritual love,
she says.

The first time she's ever...
Oh, God.

Oh.

Oh, Leland,

there's no fool
like an old fool.

I love her. And she left me.

Oh, I know.
I know how you must feel.

But I've got to believe
that she'll come back.

Oh, no, it's over.
My life has turned to crap.

And she says she's happy
for the first time in her life.

She says I made her sick.

She says she wants
a divorce right away.

She's earned her freedom.
Now, what the hell is that?

I think we'd better get
Becker and Markowitz

on to this right away.

Well, do what you want.

Let's go.

- The old man wants us.
- What for?

He's got Irving Lewis with him.

Oh, God. Well, that's it.
I'm finished.

The only one who's finished
is Irving Lewis.

Bimbo wife left him
for the arms of another.

She left him?

She left him as in divorce?

As in.

Whoo.

[chuckles]

Man 2: Hey, easy.

Mrs. Lewis will try to say

it's a community business
expense, of course.

But the IRS already
said it's no business.

And is the IRS ever wrong?
Never. It's a hobby.

And all the money Irving
poured into Mrs. Lewis'

little hobby
was of a personal nature

on top of which they're on
the books as loans anyway

for accounting purposes...

Loans, due and payable

upon dissolution
of the corporation.

We dissolve the corporation,
call the loans,

subtract that from
the community assets,

as well as Mrs. Lewis' liability

for half the $1.7 million
in back taxes,

and the way I figure it,
Mrs. Lewis is gonna end up

owing money to Mr. Lewis.

Stuart Markowitz,
you total schnauzer, I love it.

And this is kosher,
what we're doing?

Absolutely.

Leland, I hate this whole thing.

I wish it wasn't happening.

But I feel like
these boys are my own sons.

They're so smart.

That's what
we're here for, Irv.

And you, I thought
I was gonna have to give you

a smack after that tax fiasco.

But you turned a cow's ear
into a sheepskin purse.

Counselor.

Mr. Resler.

- Got your dancing shoes on?
- Heh heh.

One hundred and fifty thousand
dollars. Right now, today.

Why?
You got me on the ropes.

Off the record,
your clients are scum.

We both know it.

But the jury doesn't,
or they don't care.

Besides, look at me
and look at you.

Juries generally don't find me
particularly attractive

or sympathetic, whereas
you're a persuasive lawyer,

Mr. Kuzak, a good-looking
and personable man.

And, of course,
there's the pitiful little boy

sitting there in the courtroom.

We've run this
through our computers.

In cases with
injuries similar to this,

the awards range from a low of

$400,000 to millions of dollars.

So $150,000 seems like
a bargain.

Like I said before, Mr. Kuzak,

I think you're an
ethical attorney.

I want to believe you
don't like rewarding thieves

any more than I do.

But as far as I can see,
this is the only way

to make this damn case go away.

[indistinct chatter]

Let me talk to my clients.

A hundred and fifty K?
Is he kidding?

Tell him to jam it.

Under the circumstances,
it sounds like

a pretty decent offer to me.

Circumstances?

That guy's gonna get
his head handed to him

by that jury, and he knows it.

There's your circumstances.

That may be.

Then two things
are gonna happen.

One, they're gonna
appeal the judgment.

It'll be years before
you ever see a dime.

And, two, they're
gonna go to the DA

to bring charges
against you for fraud.

Oh, they can't prove
a damn thing.

Kuzak: You're a good actor,
Mr. Locklin.

You really had that jury going.

But don't kid yourself.

There's a strong case
here for fraud.

And if you're found guilty,

it could vitiate
the original judgment.

What's that mean, vitiate?

Weaken, invalidate.

In short, Mr. Locklin,

you could wind up with nothing
but a jail sentence

and a pile of legal fees.

Lawyers, you all stick together,
don't you?

What'd that guy Resler
offer you to jack us up, huh?

Mr. Locklin,
my firm has no interest

in benefiting from fraud.

If you decide to take
Mr. Resler's offer,

we intend to waive
our percentage.

If we accept...
what happens to the money?

The entire $150,000
will go into a trust

for Jamie's special education
and medical needs.

- We'll take it.
- Hey, come on.

- He's my son.
- Well, what about us?

What about our needs?

Try getting a job,
Mr. Locklin.

And did you state that on
the Sunday morning in question,

you accidentally hit
Mr. Jackson on the head

with a Steve Garvey model
K55 Louisville Slugger?

That's right, accidentally.

Mr. LaFollette, if in fact
you were not intending

to rob Mr. Jackson,
what were you doing

with a baseball bat
concealed on your person

in the first place?

I play in a softball league.

I was on my way to the game.

At 6:30 a.m. in a dashiki?

My uniform was
in the dry cleaner.

[laughs]

I see.
Thank you, Mr. LaFollette.

No more questions, Your Honor.

You may step down,
Mr. LaFollette.

And as the hour is growing late,

let us adjourn until 9:00 a.m.

[indistinct chatter]

Well, you got that case won.

It's not exactly
"Inherit the Wind."

Careful, that's my
favorite movie ever.

Actually, I became a lawyer
because of Spencer Tracy.

For me, it was Gregory Peck.

- Oh, get out of here.
- "To Kill a Mockingbird."

Well, Gregory Peck was good,
but Spencer Tracy--

- Yeah.
- He was...

Well, you'd get along
great with my dad.

He loves Spencer Tracy, too.

- Your dad a lawyer?
- Uh-hmm. He's a milkman.

So has he met old
what's-his-name yet?

He meets old what's-his-name
this weekend.

I'm pretty nervous about it.

Well, I got a good idea.

Why don't you take me instead?

- You're getting pushy again.
- That's not pushy.

If I was to kiss you...
now that would be pushy.

There's a two-word
description for what

I'd be if I let you kiss me,
Mr. Kuzak.

And the second word
rhymes with freezer.

Goodnight, counselor.

[instrumental music]

Freezer?

[instrumental music]