Original subtitles

Julie, it is 7:04 a.m.,

62 degrees.

Relative humidity, 44%.

Low cloud cover.

Looks like cumulus on the verge of becoming stratocumulus.

And as I'm saying this, I now remember you yelling,

"Damn it, Charles."

"I don't need a goddamn daily weather report."

Memo erased.

Julie, it is 7:05 a.m.

To recap our suspect list,

15 staff members have been ruled out.

Four were on duty during both crimes.

First is Penny, the med tech.

She seems pleasant and hardworking.

Alice, time to walk.

But this job may be getting to her.

Alice, Jerry, you gotta lock the door. I...

Put a sock on the knob, something.

Sorry.

Dennis, the chef, was working both nights,

but he never leaves the cafeteria.

After some clever sleuthing,

I did, however, learn his most carefully guarded secret.

The secret is paprika.

Pilar, the head nurse.

She started working here only a month ago,

right before the crimes started.

She has access to all the rooms at all hours.

Although she also has the decidedly non-stealthy habit

of singing "Mambo No. 5" wherever she goes.

And she doesn't know any of the words.

The final suspect, Beatrice Vanbeck,

the activities director.

She practically lives here,

knows everyone's habits.

Plus, she's a bit flashy.

Lots of jewelry, nice clothes.

She just might be the monster we're looking for.

Charles.

Yay!

Wow. So now, you tell me every dream you've ever had about any activity ever,

and I will do everything to make sure it happens for you.

Well, I'm actually just curious about how you got involved in all of this.

I mean, what's your backstory?

My background is in art history.

Can I ask, was your late wife Victoria Nieuwendyk?

Yes. Well, why do you ask?

I met her. She lectured at our museum.

What a brilliant and kind woman.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your museum?

Oh, my...

You're Beatrice Vanbeck.

Like the Vanbeck Collection

in the Vanbeck Wing at the Vanbeck Museum of Modern Art.

The Vanbeck family.

Yeah, that's us.

You know trains?

My family invented them.

But who cares? It's so boring.

You should do pottery.

No. Sorry, wait.

Why do you work here?

Well, technically, I volunteer.

I don't take a salary.

Do you like hockey?

My mom just bought the San Jose Sharks.

How cute is that logo?

It's not Beatrice.

As you can see from the extensive dossiers I gave you,

there are very few promising suspects on the staff.

I will keep poking around with Penny.

Hey, look into the nurse too.

Butchering a 20-year-old song doesn't eliminate her as a suspect.

I think it's time that we switch our focus from the staff to the residents.

Someone's paying thousands of dollars a month to live there,

but stealing jewelry?

What's the motive?

Don't know.

But this place is rife with secrets, grudges, interpersonal issues.

I'm telling you, this is RORC.

Who the hell is RORC?

Resident-on-resident crime.

It's a spy term I coined.

Did you not read the dossier glossary?

I did!

- Thank you, Megan! - Don't encourage him.

Look, there's 100 residents, and we have three weeks.

That is why I've already narrowed it down.

Now, if we eliminate

people who were on a trip the day that Helen's necklace was stolen,

moved in after that day or confined to their rooms,

there are only 26 possible suspects.

Oh, good.

More dossiers.

Now, we need a plan for you to observe them.

Wait, didn't you just interview the activities director?

I know what you're thinking.

I should go to a San Jose Sharks game with her and pump her for information.

Bad news.

I compiled a dossier on the San Jose Sharks,

and their season doesn't start until October.

I was just thinking you could sign up for activities with the residents.

Yeah, that's better.

Everyone loves him.

Tons of friends, very curious about everyone's life.

The phrase "handsome devil" has been used more than once.

Yeah, he's really fit in.

The only weird thing I heard is apparently he's always talking on his phone.

Quietly, like, in the corner of the room.

Okay. Thanks.

Today we begin a beautiful journey together

through the world of art.

So, we're gonna start with a simple light pencil sketch

of the personal object that you've chosen.

And can I just say, it is such a joy to be here with you.

It is really the great privilege... ... of my... my life.

Sorry. Go ahead.

Well, I already screwed up.

Damn it, Nieuwendyk.

Get it together.

Hey, what's the story with the ice-cream place?

Nadiya's back in DC.

Closed a few years ago, but it had the best butter pecan in the world.

Used to take my son there every weekend.

I don't think I ever asked what you did for a living.

I worked at the Pentagon.

Get out of here.

I like to say that before I tell people what my actual job was.

I was in food service. I managed the cafeteria.

That's neat.

Did you have a cool badge?

I had a cool badge.

What about your dog?

Uh... It's just a cute toy. I think my daughter gave it to me.

Listen, you seem like a level-headed guy.

As I get to know the people here,

can I maybe ask you if there's a reason to steer clear?

I'm happy to help if I can.

I'll start with Helen.

Stay away.

Once I asked her how her day was going, and she pulled the alarm on me.

- She did that to me too. - Huh.

I thought she was racist.

That's oddly refreshing.

Hey. That guy Grant is in my yoga class.

What's his deal?

He's harmless.

Pompous as hell, though.

The man brings his own dinnerware to every meal.

Oh, Dennis. I'll have the lobster Thermidor, please.

Grant, you know we don't have that.

Still no lobster?

Beverly's in my cooking class.

Seems a little bit odd.

She's all right.

Very Catholic.

She takes confession over Zoom in public.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

It's been a week since my last confession,

and, um. I had impure thoughts about Pedro Pascal again.

We've talked about this. You gotta do this in your room.

But the Wi-Fi's better here.

Also, I broke another vibrator.

- Okay, follow me. - Oh shoot.

Boy, Florence and Virginia are inseparable.

Peas in a pod.

I think it's because Florence doesn't have any family.

None at all? Well, that's too bad.

If it weren't for Virginia and the Golden State Warriors,

she'd be all alone.

Boy, I did not peg her as a basketball fan.

You'd be surprised.

Apparently, after their last championship, she went streaking through the courtyard.

- No. - Yeah.

Okay.

Great game last night.

A little scary at the end.

- Thank God for Steph Curry. - Yeah.

You're taking Shakespeare class?

I am, yeah. When in Rome, right?

Or I guess when in Stratford-upon-Avon.

You got it. Come on.

"To beguile the time,

look like the time, bear welcome in your eye,

your hand, your tongue,

look like the innocent flower,

but be the serpent under it."

That was amazing.

Can you do mine too?

Oh, come on.

Give it a try.

Okay. Here we go. Uh...

"All the world's a stage,

and all the men and women, merely players."

"They have their exits and their entrances,

and one man in his time plays many parts."

"His acts being seven ages..."

"Th..." I feel like I got a really long one.

What do you think he's saying here?

Oh, I have no idea.

Poetry has never been my thing.

I'm not an expert like you.

Do you know when I got interested in poetry, hm?

Last year.

Every day I wake up, I think,

"What's something new I can try?"

Now, come on.

Take it from the top.

And caution to the wind!

- Love your trees. - Aw. Thank you.

To the left.

To the right.

Anyone else with comments or complaints?

The complaint sessions are too long.

Thank you, Helen.

Next order of business.

With Jan having died, we need a new vice president.

I nominate Jan.

She's dead, George. Keep up.

I nominate Charles.

Wh... Really?

- Second. - Third.

Veto.

You can't veto a nomination, dummy.

Any other nominations?

No? Good.

This is all very flattering, everyone,

but I'm not sure that I'm right for the job.

- Second. - Sure you are.

All in favor for Charles as the new VP?

- Yay. - Yay!

Well, thank you.

Congratulations, Charles.

That's Vice President Charles to you.

I'd appreciate it if you would use my honorific as a sign of respect.

My apologies.

I mean, you are a heartbeat away from the presidency.

And around here, that's no joke.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey!

This is my friend Charles.

Charles, this is my son, C.J.

- It's very nice to meet you. - Likewise.

Excuse me.

C.J. is a senior cloud solutions architect for Salesforce.

Wow.

What's that mean?

No idea.

All I know is he's important, and he owns his house.

I got you a shaving kit.

The brush is made of real badger, same kind Denzel uses.

You hear that? Denzel.

And he's taking me out to lunch at Chez Panisse.

Actually, Dad, my four o'clock got moved up.

Do you mind if we rain-check and grab a sandwich in the dining room?

No problem. I know you're busy.

Just let me put Denzel's shaving kit in my room.

You keep an eye on him. Don't let him cheat while I'm gone.

Oy, oy, oy.

I am so glad he's found somebody to play this crusty old game with.

I don't think I ever gave him a real fight.

It's my pleasure.

Dad's been living here for quite a while, and it's been a bit bumpy.

He's sort of a loner.

But it's nice to see he finally made a friend.

Met Calbert's son.

He's a senior cloud solutions architect over at Salesforce.

What does that mean?

Do I have to walk you through everything? Look it up on your own time.

Charles has no idea.

Think he's a suspect?

No. No, no. no. He doesn't visit enough for that.

I also found out that Calbert used to run the cafeteria at, get this, the Pentagon.

Cool job, right?

I continued looking into Florence.

She's helping me with my Shakespeare monologue.

Yeah. And she's, like, a rabid NBA fan.

I mean, she contains multitudes.

Virginia said the funniest thing about her last night at dinner.

Florence spilled Sprite all over herself, and Virginia said,

"Clean up on aisle Flo."

Oh, man.

Okay. Charles?

- Yeah? - We need to talk.

You're shitting the bed.

In a good way?

Do you hear yourself when you talk about Florence?

Like she's your friend?

She's not.

She's a suspect.

Which means she can't be your friend.

You gotta remain objective.

Have you seen Donnie Brasco?

I watched it with my daughter when it came out.

Yeah. The one with the creepy rabbit man. I didn't get it.

That's Donnie Darko.

Donnie Brasco is about an undercover agent who almost blows a case

because he starts to care about one of the criminals.

Being a spy means being lonely.

That's just the deal.

It's what you signed up for when you took this job,

and you put that pocket square in your pocket.

I hear you.

Good.

I will remain emotionally neutral.

And I will watch that movie.

- Okay. - What's the name of it again?

Donald...

Donald Ducko?

Yes, that is the FBI mob informant movie I told you about.

Donald Ducko.

"All the world's a stage..."

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women..."

"Merely players."

"Merely players, merely players..."

"All the world's a stage, and all the men are merely players."

"Men and women."

Damn it, I forgot the women. All right. Okay.

Your problem is you don't know what you're saying.

People know what this means?

You gotta understand it and feel it before you'll ever be able to perform it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Gotta run and meet someone.

What?

Who you meeting?

Just my cousin Daphne.

I'll just be gone a couple hours.

- Keep practicing. - Okay.

Have a good time with your cousin.

Call me crazy, but I don't think that's her cousin Daphne.

Calbert told me that Florence had no family,

which is why I got suspicious.

Now, keep watching.

There's a good shot of the guy's face as he passes by.

There's also a brief shot of me eating a meatball sub.

Ignore that.

I couldn't figure out how to delete it.

Show this to our guy. See if he can ID him.

Copy.

God, it's so cool when you guys talk like that.

Who is "our guy"?

No, no. Wait, don't tell me. It's better if it remains a mystery.

It's my friend Dave. He's an ex-cop.

Oh, wha...

Yeah, people don't lie and meet up like this

unless there's something shady going on.

This feels real to me.

Nice job, Charles.

Well, I guess you should just start calling me "housekeeping."

Because I just laundered those sheets that were on the bed in which I shat.

- Eh... it's a reference to what you said. - No, I got it.

Good.

It's so vibrant

and alive.

This sort of vision and expression is rare and special.

I am so grateful for your talent.

Thank you, Beatrice.

Brilliant.

My painting stinks, right?

Oh, yeah. It's the worst one.

But you tried something new. Cheers to that.

Hey, Dad.

Oh. Twice in one week.

How lucky am I?

- Look at what your old man painted. - Aw.

- Remember this? - Of course I remember.

Best ice cream in DC.

And Charles, that is a really nice...

shapes.

- Can I talk to you in private? - Sure.

Evening, Gladys.

That looks just like my dog Bunchy.

You should have painted the cute dog instead of the

mangled whale carcass.

Noted.

He had to leave so soon?

He was just stopping by to tell me he got a promotion at work.

Well, that's great.

Or maybe not.

The promotion is to run the Singapore office.

And that's ostensibly...

In Singapore, yes.

Wow.

I swear that was taken yesterday,

but Nadiya's is gone.

That little boy is gone too.

Everything moves too fast.

I-- I bought this for my wife.

I told you it was from my daughter, but it...

I bought it for Victoria.

She loved dogs.

Always wanted one, but I'm, I'm horribly allergic.

So I... found this little guy at a craft fair in Oakland.

Poor substitute, but she loved him.

She took him everywhere.

Whenever I'm having a bad day,

petting the dog makes me feel better.

I'm not petting the dog, Charles.

That's fine. I...

It's just, uh...

It's there if you need it.

Hey.

Looks like sweet old Florence might have a gambling problem.

- What? - That guy she met with is a bookie.

Pretty small-time, but he definitely runs a sports book.

Okay. Uh, what's my next move?

Your next move is to sit tight.

My next move is to approach that bookie and see what I can learn.

Obvious theory here is that Florence ran into a streak of bad luck

and stole the jewelry to pay off her debt.

Florence? It's hard to imagine.

You can't become friends with people you investigate.

You just never know.

I mean, you said yourself, she contains multitudes.

And it looks like one of those multitudes is "degenerate gambler."

Stay by your phone.

You might be leaving as soon as tomorrow.

Okay.

"Last scene of all that ends this strange, eventful history

is second childishness and mere oblivion."

"Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

No, I did it. That was it.

Florence?

You okay?

I got some bad news.

Oh no. What happened?

I have a secret that I've never told anyone.

My husband, Earl,

he used to bet on the basketball games just for fun,

and, after he died, I found his bookie and placed a bet.

Oh, it made me feel closer to him.

Well, now this lady cop is poking around,

and he won't take my bets anymore.

Mm. Wow.

- Do you owe him a lot of money? - Oh, heck no.

Only bet ten dollars each time.

I know it sounds silly, but...

that man was my last connection to my Earl.

"Cry God for Harry, England, and St. George!"

Tremendous job, Grant.

It was, yes.

You're welcome.

Oh, okay.

Uh, so, Charles, you're up.

You know, actually, I, um...

I can't do this.

I'm so sorry.

Charles! Charles!

What's going on?

Are you all right?

I'm okay, Florence.

Thank you. I'm-- I'm okay.

Are you having a hard time with this speech

because it's about death and makes you think of your wife?

I didn't know that that's what my speech is about, so no.

I just... don't quite feel like myself right now.

I love poetry because it makes me happy.

If this doesn't make you happy, then don't do it.

Evening, Charles.

- Hey. - Hey.

I saw you leave the Shakespeare performance.

You okay?

I don't know.

It feels like I'm stepping on toes a bit and... causing problems for people.

Hm. It has been... eventful.

But don't beat yourself up.

Elliott did that for you.

Honestly, I'm...

I feel a bit...

like a phony, like I don't really belong.

You did something very bold.

You decided to change... everything

to broaden the range of possibility in this stage of your life.

Meeting new friends, having new adventures,

that is why you came here.

Right?

It's gonna take some time for everything to click into place.

But I promise you, it will.

Okay, when I introduce you,

I'm gonna say, "This is a friend of mine."

That means you're a connected guy.

Now, if I said instead, "This is a friend of ours,"

that would mean you were a made guy. Capiche?

Hey. So... about the Florence thing.

You know, sometimes good detective work leads to bad results.

You get that, right?

Yep. Absolutely.

Good. Okay.

So we move forward, then.

Any new leads?

As a matter of fact, I'm chasing down a new lead right now.

Very promising.

Damn. You are on fire.

Keep me updated, okay?

So, what's this important meeting about?

Well, I did a little research and found some very interesting results.

According to the Internet,

these pints of butter pecan

came from the three best ice-cream places in the whole damn city.

Now, I figured we should do a taste test.

See if we can't beat Nadiya's.

You want to eat all three tubs with me while we play backgammon?

Obviously.

Why don't you go down? I'll be right there.

You.