Original subtitles

(theme music)

Man: Imposing old place, isn't it?

Woman: It's just a building.

No. It's more than that.

The hub of British justice.

All the most important cases go on there,

the really big ones.

I'd like to get a new hat.

- Hmm? - Well, I mean,

yours is going to be a big one, isn't it?

There'll be reporters and pictures in the papers and everything.

You'll do just what I've told you

and nothing more.

Yes, Ronnie.

(clearing throat)

They ought to be here by now.

Same again, please, Maisie.

I wonder what's keeping them.

Don't forget I like to have meals sent inside, will you?

- Woman: No. - Man: Blast.

What is it?

I should have got rid of this.

Shall I take it?

Thank you, Maisie.

Here they are.

You take care of yourself while I'm away, won't you?

Ronald Henry Wescott?

Yes.

I'm a police officer.

I have a warrant for your arrest

on charges of treason and conspiracy.

(theme music)

Well, what do you think now?

Well, I've been covering trials here for years.

I've never seen a case turn about like this one.

Yesterday the prosecution seemed to have it all cut and dried.

I even had my headlines blocked up and ready.

"Traitor Wescott Gets 10 Years."

Brilliant defense.

(sighs) Brilliant.

They seem to have anticipated

every detail of the prosecution's case.

Wescott's guilty, I've no doubt about that.

Neither have I.

Defense counsel: The defendant stands accused

of passing on his country's secrets

to a certain man.

He is alleged to have received

large sums of money

from this same certain man.

But who is this mystery man?

What have the prosecution told us about him?

He is an agent for the other side.

He holds a position of trust.

He is a well-built man.

He dresses and speaks well.

He is known as Johnno.

But has the prosecution been able to produce this Johnno?

No.

And why?

I put it to you

that this man, this Johnno,

does not exist.

The jury are biting.

Can you really convict on such evidence?

Can you deprive this man of his liberty

because of someone, some unknown man named Johnno?

I think not.

But that's for you to decide.

I am confident that you will decide rightly,

justly,

and in favor of the defendant.

That concludes for the defense, my lord.

Masterly, my dear girl, masterly.

The judge is bound to sum up in our favor.

You have heard all the evidence in this case,

and it is now my task to direct you

upon points of law.

Ah, it's all over, eh? What was the verdict?

Buy a paper and read about it.

I'd prefer word of mouth.

They found him not guilty.

Oh, I do beg your pardon.

Friendly, very friendly.

Well, Dicey, my love,

so Ronnie got away with it, eh?

Hmm.

Well, you're talking it pretty calmly.

It's no more than I expected.

Huh.

An acquittal on a series of technicalities.

Isn't that the strength and the weakness of our legal system:

to protect the innocent

and sometimes the guilty too?

You can say that again.

Oh, I didn't agree with the verdict,

but congratulations.

Thank you.

By the way, do you two know each other?

Catherine Gale, Barbara Kingston, Q.C.

- How do you do? - How do you do.

I'd like to add my congratulations.

Well, I'd like to accept,

but really they belong elsewhere.

Journalist: Oh, the Lakin brothers.

It was their briefing that won this case.

I've never seen anything quite so thorough,

right down to the tiniest detail.

All I had to do was mouth the words.

Excuse me.

The Lakin brothers have been having

some pretty spectacular successes recently, haven't they?

After years of obscurity.

Do you suppose Barbara Kingston could have been right?

You mean, perhaps there never was a man called Johnno?

- Mm-hmm. - That's anybody's guess.

(laughs)

This calls for a celebration.

You're in the clear.

They can't try you twice, you know.

That's right.

That's exactly right, Johnno.

Isn't that your friend, Steed?

Yes.

- (laughing) - Hello, Maisie,

three large brandies, please?

We're celebrating. Have one for yourself.

A good long holiday for you, right in the sunshine.

Let's make it a honeymoon.

I'm not so sure about that.

Have to consult my solicitors.

I think they'll approve. I'm sure they'll approve.

Come on, cheers to all of us.

I could easily come with you.

Oh, that's better.

Well, from here on, everything's going to be rosy.

Hey, Dicey, isn't that right?

Fresh colored roses.

Ronnie.

Well, I never had any doubts, not really.

But every once in a while

I began to think of all the things I'd miss

if anything went wrong.

But nothing went wrong.

You got away with it.

Steed: Well, this is a surprise.

Hey, come and join us.

The current cause celebre needs no introduction.

This is Miss Dicey Hunt. This is Catherine Gale.

Hello.

Steed: She is a geologist extraordinaire.

Dicey Dinkum.

I'm playing the Green Cockatoo next week.

I do interesting things with stuffed snakes.

Really?

I didn't get away with anything, Mrs. Gale.

I was tried and acquitted by a court of law.

That doesn't make you innocent as far as I'm concerned.

Would you like to have a drink, Mrs. Gale?

No, thank you.

- You were lucky. - Lucky.

Your entire defense was nothing but a bag of forensic tricks.

Every legal loophole, every chink in the law was exploited

to make sure that a guilty man went free.

Now, Mrs. Gale, this is supposed to be a celebration.

Oh, yes. And you really have something to celebrate,

don't you, Johnno?

What are you trying to suggest?

Well-built, known as Johnno.

Speaks and dresses well.

Hey, look, you don't imagine...

Holds a position of trust.

I think it fits you very well.

That's a very serious allegation.

I wouldn't spread it around if I were you.

All right. I'm warning you.

Well, don't.

I'll stop your blasted lies for good

if you're not careful.

I let her goad me. I shouldn't have done that.

You ought to do something about her.

I don't think it's that serious.

It could be arranged.

A resounding time.

- Resounding. - (chuckles)

Never fails to stimulate, does it?

Hmm?

The Old Bailey.

Same ordered calm, and yet the tensions below,

the splendid rhetorical exchanges,

and finally, the truth shining through.

Exciting.

Especially the truth shining through.

(both laugh)

Yeah. Young Kingston was awfully good, wasn't she?

I was a bit doubtful about briefing a woman,

but she has enormous tact.

Reminded me of old Freddy Warner.

Haven't seen old Freddy for some time.

That's understandable.

He's dead.

What?

Freddy Warner died two years ago.

Did he? Poor chap.

Didn't know. Would have sent some flowers to the widow.

- He wasn't married. - Hmm?

Wasn't married? Poor Freddy.

Should have sent some flowers though.

Too late now, I suppose.

Of course, it's two years ago you said.

Well, well, well, well.

Judge Hardesty spoke to me during recess.

Judge Hardesty?

Old Stinker Hardesty?

Thomas H.

Yes. That's him. Old Stinker.

(chuckles) I gave him his first brief.

On the bench, eh?

So they've made him a judge?

It doesn't matter anymore, Miles.

We agreed none of it matters anymore.

He may be a judge...

but we are going to make legal history.

What did he say?

- Who? - Old Stinker.

Judge Hardesty.

Oh. (Laughs)

He wanted to compliment us

on the way we prepared our case.

(wheezing laugh) Did he now?

Well, well, well.

There you are.

The editor's going to run it.

It's on Page two.

In all the morning editions.

"Catherine Gale today threw a new light

"on the mysterious man, Johnno,

"who was mentioned prominently in the Wescott case.

Mrs. Gale claimed that Johnno is, in fact, a Mr. John Steed."

Your accusation word for word.

"She further claims that at the courts today,

Wescott was actually heard to address Steed as Johnno."

Stuck my neck out.

Maisie? Please.

It should give Mr. Steed something to think about.

Uh, excuse me.

I'm looking for a Miss... A Miss Dicey Hunt.

She's a brunette with a touch of gold.

About so...

Well, she's about so...

Woman: Please do not disturb.

- Silent contemplation. - Oh.

I'm Elizabeth Prinn, the principal here.

Prinn the principal, huh?

Well, my name is Steed, John Steed.

I take it you believe in absolute purity, Mr. Steed.

A couple of baths a day, good soak.

I was referring to the spirit.

The spirit.

(clicks tongue) I'm not too up in the spirit,

just a little sullied, you know what I mean?

Then why are you here?

(clears throat) I was looking for Miss, uh, Miss Dicey Hunt.

She's over there.

Thank you very much.

Do relax. You never quite know.

- Dicey. - Oh, hi.

- Look, where's Ronnie? - Well, isn't he at home?

No. That's why I'm here.

Look, I want to see him urgently.

Dicey, this is important.

Thinking.

Hey, you think very prettily.

Oh, the Arlington garage.

He went to look at a new car.

That's where he'll be.

Is there a phone around here I can use?

Mm, yes. In the office.

It's empty, but I still think there's a phone in there.

Thank you so much, Dicey.

Ronnie, look, this is Steed. Have you seen the papers today?

Mrs. Gale has been saying some really embarrassing things about me.

Now apropos that little conversation,

you said you could arrange things?

Yeah.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to take legal action.

This is it, here.

Of course, they don't usually take on cases quite so quickly,

but I told them it was urgent,

and they know how helpful you were in my little affair.

You'll find them very understanding.

Oh, Bart, this is Mr. Steed.

He has an appointment.

(chain latch releases)

Good luck.

- Your hat, sir. - Yes, thank you.

What's his problem, do you know?

We didn't discuss it in detail over the phone.

Oh, right-o.

- (knock on door) - Oh, there he is now.

Yes?

Mr. Steed, sir.

Good afternoon, my dear sir.

- How do you do. - Miles Lakin at your service.

My brother Jasper.

- How do you do. - Pleasure.

Pleasure to meet you at long last, Mr. Steed.

It's nice to see that Johnno does exist.

Do sit down, Mr. Steed. You'll take some tea,

- of course, won't you? - That's very kind of you.

I hope the little business of the search

didn't inconvenience you too much.

Tape recorders, you know, they make them devilish small nowadays.

(chuckles) Make everything smaller.

Except lawyer's fees maybe.

Oh, very good.

Here, Jasper.

Indian or China?

Indian, please.

Steed: Ahh.

Jasper: Will you, uh,

Will you sign this, please, Mr. Steed?

Now, what's that?

It's just a formality.

It's the letter you sent us last week.

Oh, really? What did I say?

You asked to meet my brother and myself

so that we could help you with a book you're writing.

A work of fiction.

Giving me a good reason for being here, eh?

Heh, gracious. (chuckling)

Now, Mr. Steed, you can tell us the real reason.

- Your pen. - Oh, thank you.

I want to commit a murder.

One lump or two, Mr. Steed?

Two, please.

Allow me.

Thank you.

Murder, eh?

It's awfully simple nowadays, you know.

The scientific evidence is so accurate.

It makes any sort of meaty academic argument rather impotent.

No, there's seldom a reversal on appeal.

Now, a nice swindle, now...

Negotiable bonds, international ramifications...

Splendid exchanges of logic.

But there's always a chance of taking it to the House of Lords.

Murder is most expensive, Mr. Steed, obviously.

The risks are greater.

I appreciate that.

Have you ever considered the sale of international secrets?

One almost always gets a special tribunal thrown in,

and questions in the House.

I'm afraid it is just a murder I want.

Well, we need to know all the particulars.

For example, your relationship with the deceased-to-be.

Until recently we were very good friends.

Jasper: Hmm. Of long standing?

Yes.

Rex vs. Raskell, 1905.

Yes. It's all here.

Absolutely splendid defense battle over motive.

Fascinating court ruling.

The accused and the victim

had never been known to exchange cross words.

I'm afraid that won't work for me.

I've just publicly had a very public row

with the deceased-to-be.

Oh, that might be a difficulty.

During this row, what did you say to the deceased-to-be?

Lost my temper and I said,

"I'll stop your blasted lies for good

if you're not careful."

- No more. - No. No.

You didn't elaborate on the threat?

- No. - Splendid.

We can claim that he meant to bring a slander action.

"Stop your blasted lies for good." Yes. Yes.

You know, a good arguable point.

Yes, we might even start slander proceedings.

Just start them, you understand.

The deceased-to-be will be dead

before ever it comes to court.

Ah! I thought so. I thought so.

Rex vs. Norris, 1831, Dorset Assizes.

Really points a similarity. Yes.

The slander action, then the murder.

There was a two-day recess to argue a single point of law.

Went to appeal twice, and then to the Lords.

This is definitely the one for Mr. Steed.

You understand our terms?

I'm not too clear on the details.

We will brief you for murder, Mr. Steed.

We are experts in criminal law.

We know the hitches to avoid,

the way to build up the necessary evidence,

the kind of technical points that can safely be relied upon.

There was almost a retrial at one stage.

We will tell you precisely where, when,

and how to commit your murder.

If you follow our briefing exactly,

we can promise that you will be arrested and tried,

and we can guarantee

that you will be acquitted.

Ah.

Our... Our fee for this

will be 20,000 Swiss francs in cash.

Is it agreed?

Agreed.

Very well.

Now, the first point to decide is when.

Can you manage it in the next few days?

I don't see why not.

Good. In that way you will be tried

during the current assizes,

and you won't be under arrest too long.

Now, Mr. Steed, we need to know the name of the deceased-to-be.

Gale, Mrs. Catherine Gale.

Bart?

You understand you are to be as unsubtle as possible.

It is imperative that you are seen,

but not caught.

Leave it to me.

I found a most splendid point

of litigation.

We must work it in somehow.

Right.

Dicey: Won't be a moment.

There's no hurry.

Oh, would you mind? It's sticking.

Oh, dearie me. It'd be a pleasure.

Hold on.

Ah, this isn't going to hurt.

Right. (Laughs) Thank you.

I, uh...

Well, this is a surprise.

I didn't think you were one for absolute purity.

They start out single

and end up as a couple of bookends.

I've been reading what you've been saying about me.

It's not strictly accurate.

Isn't that for the authorities to decide.

I'd advise you to stick to contemplation,

silent contemplation.

Better for your health.

Dicey: John?

Coming. Bye.

Are you threatening me?

Go to the top of the class.

- Aha. - Ooh.

Mrs. Gale.

It's been a long time,

but I said I'd catch up with you one day.

I said I'd get even.

(women screaming)

I'm all right.

Who was he?

I don't know.

Must be something in your psychic makeup

the way you antagonize complete strangers.

Why are you standing there?

Why don't you go after him?

I'm a basic coward.

Anyway, I thought he had very good intentions.

But not very good aim, eh?

A man with any self-respect...

Respect of any description

doesn't come into Mr. Steed's dictionary.

I should stick to those exercises of yours. You're going to need them.

You're going to be dodging bullets

right, left and center. Goodbye.

The only weakness was the absence of a second suspect.

Someone to fox the jury with.

However, Bart's little charade this morning

has now covered that point.

I understand he was excellent.

Yes. He was very good indeed.

And an abundance of witnesses?

(chortles) Yes, an abundance.

Good. Then we're ready to go ahead.

Your brief is prepared.

Only one... formality.

(clicks tongue, snaps fingers)

There'll be 20,000. The house will inspect.

- Thank you. - Miles: Yes, thank you.

Uh...

I'm sorry, you'll have to read it here.

Not that we distrust you, my dear fellow,

don't think that, but anything in writing...

I'm sure you'll understand.

- Oh, naturally. - Now then,

before we go into the matter together,

what about a glass of brandy?

- Hmm. - An excellent Napoleon, eh?

Is there any other?

- Ohh! - (laughing)

Oh, very good. Very good.

You will find that we've used most of the defense tactics

from Rex vs. Norris.

Yes, the final plea is the most commanding.

Most commanding, it will need an advocate of authority.

What do you think, Jasper, shall we use Kingston again?

I don't see why not. What do you say, Mr. Steed?

Any objection to being defended by Barbara Kingston?

Not at all. I'd rather have her for me than against me.

Capital! I'll ring her up at once.

Miles, we cannot brief counsel

before the crime has been committed.

Oh, goodness me. I think you're right.

- Your health, sir. - Steed: And to you, gentlemen.

Your security arrangements are admirable.

There's just one thing. Doesn't it concern you

that I might perhaps go to the police

as soon as I leave here?

And tell them what?

That we assisted you with some research on a crime novel?

We... We have your letter, remember.

After the crime is committed.

After it is committed, you are just as involved as we are.

One other thing, your assistant,

he doesn't seem too reliable to me.

Bart? (Chuckles) He has to be reliable.

He was our first guinea pig, you see.

He can't expose us without exposing himself.

Steed: (laughs) There's not a loophole anywhere.

Just like your own case, Mr. Steed. Shall I run through it?

By all means.

We thought tomorrow afternoon

might be the most advantageous time

for you to commit your murder.

Unless you've another engagement.

Not that I can think of, no.

(birds twittering)

(cawing)

Bossa Nova? Hully Gully? Extraordinary.

What is?

It's in the paper here, article on modern youth.

(telephone rings)

Hello? Yes, speaking.

Ah, Mr. Steed.

You have?

When?

An hour ago.

Requiescat in pace.

Good. Excellent, Mr. Steed.

Now, you know what you have to do next?

Yes.

Tomorrow morning you can proceed

with stage two of our briefing.

Very good. Yes.

Oh, get a good night's sleep, won't you?

Hard day ahead.

- What's wrong? - I need your help.

What do you mean?

You saw me yesterday midday.

Oh, I don't remember.

Of course, I may have been a little bit high, but...

That's what you've got to say to the police, Dicey.

Police?

There isn't much time. Our stories have got to tally.

You came to my place at midday

and then you left again at half past 3:00.

That's right. From midday to half past 3:00,

I wasn't out of your sight. Now, you have that clear?

Yes, I think so.

You have to be sure, Dicey.

You're my alibi. I'm depending on you.

Miss Prinn: He's in there.

You're sure it's the same man?

Positive. His name is Steed, John Steed.

Now if you're a good girl, I'll get you a mink coat.

John Steed?

Yes.

You're under arrest.

But that's ridiculous. On what charge?

In connection with the murder of Catherine Gale.

Ahh, good morning, good morning!

Ready for battle? Jolly good.

It's going to be a splendid fight.

They still haven't found that unfortunate woman's body yet.

Doesn't look as though they ever will.

The absence of a corpus delicti

makes the case intensely interesting.

Intensely interesting.

Don't you worry, my dear fellow.

Nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about.

That is, provided you...

I did exactly as you said.

Mm-hmm.

Aha!

Third time this morning.

The law does not function on superstition, Mr. Steed.

There's no luck involved.

Only facts. Clear, concise facts.

Exactly. There are going to be some delicious terms of argument.

No body, you see.

Opens up several exciting new issues.

As long as it opens up this cell door.

You'll be out in a little while.

Yes. You must give us time, my dear sir.

The wheels of the law sometimes grind exceeding slow.

Let's hope they do not grind exceeding small.

Oh, very good, very good.

Spirits up, dare say I. Fight till you drop.

I sincerely hope not.

Oh, I beg your pardon. Most insensitive of me.

Well, gentlemen, I think we should

at least look as if we are preparing a case.

Really, Mr. Steed, you know, this turn of events,

the absence of a body, it's more than we can hope for.

It's going to be a bully of a trial.

A real bully.

(bells chime)

I still don't see why I have to wait around.

I've given my evidence.

They might want to recall you.

Oh, I should be exercising.

Sitting around doesn't do my figure any good.

It'll all be over by 5:00, Johnno said so.

5:00 will be too late.

It's Tuesday. The school closes early on Tuesday.

There are other forms of exercising.

I'll go and see what's going on.

The witness will confine herself to answering the questions.

Allow me to recapitulate, Miss Prinn.

You were aboard the boat, you heard a shot.

Yes.

You were shocked, panicked?

Yes, of course.

Under these circumstances,

isn't it possible that you made a mistake?

No. I quite distinctly saw him cycling away.

But if the man you saw

was cycling away from you, Miss Prinn,

then all you could have seen of him was his back.

Let us move on to when the defendant appeared

next morning at your, um...

yoga establishment.

What happened there?

He came in very agitated.

I recognized him immediately and I phoned for the police.

And then?

I heard Steed telling Miss Hunt

to say he'd been at her place

from midday until half past 3:00.

Doesn't that strike you as odd?

What time was the murder committed, Miss Prinn?

Just after 4:00. I remember clearly.

After 4:00. And yet the defendant was trying to establish an alibi

from midday until half past 3:00.

Come now, Miss Prinn,

if the defendant had murdered Catherine Gale,

wouldn't he have known the exact time the murder was committed

and provided his alibi accordingly?

How are things going?

Marvelous. What did you expect?

Perfect, is what it is.

Allow me to recapitulate, Inspector Marsh.

At the scene of the crime you found no cap,

no gun, and no body.

Of course, that has been explained.

The tide runs fast there, and it was on the turn.

You found only this hat, and the initials in it, J.S.

I think the jury should see this. My lord?

Now, Inspector Marsh,

you have told us that the defendant denied this hat was his.

You've also told us that you've searched his entire wardrobe

and failed to find any other article of clothing

bearing this monogram.

And yet, you still contend

this hat belongs to the defendant.

It was found at the scene of the crime,

and the initials fit, ma'am,

so I drew the conclusion...

Ah, you drew the conclusion.

You didn't establish it as a fact?

Well, the...

Did you, for instance, ask the defendant to try this hat on?

Well, uh...

Come now, Inspector. Did you or did you not

ask John Steed to try this hat on?

No, ma'am.

My lord, I ask that this be done now.

Judge: Very well, Miss Kingston.

(laughter)

Inspector Marsh, I ask you to look at the defendant,

and I want you to tell me, in all your long experience,

have you ever known a man to go out and commit a crime, a major crime,

looking quite so ridiculously conspicuous

as the defendant does now?

(laughter)

Inspector: Well, ma'am, it takes all sorts.

Please answer the question, inspector, yes or no.

Miss Kingston: Well?

Inspector: No, ma'am, I have not.

I would also remind you,

ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

of the incident of the other man.

Now, we have heard evidence

that an attempt was made on Mrs. Gale's life

just a few hours before her tragic death.

Is it not possible, nay probable,

that this same man tried again,

and at this time he succeeded?

He succeeded so well that he is free

while the defendant here is forced to undergo this terrible ordeal.

I submit that it is up to you

to bring this ordeal to an end.

It is up to you to send him from this court a free man.

Thank you.

Judge: As it is now after midday,

the court will adjourn until 2:00 p.m.

Bailiff: The court will rise.

We'll leave you to it.

Aren't you going to wait for the verdict?

I think we can guess what it will be.

Thank you.

Again my congratulations, Miss Kingston.

This is becoming a habit with you.

It's all due to thoroughness, Mr. Wilson.

How long have you known the Lakin brothers?

Not long. About a year.

Did they find you?

Or did you find them?

No. They found me.

Ah, Maisie, dear!

The same as usual, please.

(clears throat) Thank you, my dear.

- Yours, Jasper. - Thank you.

Well, a round dozen, Jasper.

12 cases without one single slip-up.

(laughs) How long do you think the jury will be out?

10 minutes general discussion,

five to eliminate the motivation issue,

15 minutes in all.

By now I'd say the jury were filing back in.

Ah, Judge Hardesty...

calls for the foreman:

"Are you agreed upon your verdict?"

"We are."

"And what is your verdict?"

Not guilty, my lord.

(gavel pounds)

To you, gentlemen.

I couldn't have wished for a better briefing.

Oh, come. You helped a great deal.

Yes, indeed. You made an excellent impression on the jury.

Devastating air of martyred suffering.

I was thinking of my income tax.

What are you plans now?

Well, I think I'll do a little hunting.

Good day, gentlemen.

- Good day. - Same. Same.

Charming chap.

Oh.

Very old school.

Hunting?

Not the season, is it?

Liveliest looking corpus I ever saw.

Oh, and very delicti, if I may say so.

What do you think you're doing?

Contemplating.

I'm sitting in the dark for ages contemplating.

Why I've been sitting here in the dark is what I've been contemplating.

I finally dropped off.

What did you find out about the Lakin brothers?

The system works perfectly.

The way those Lakins have it,

there isn't a single flaw anywhere.

You mean I had that swim for nothing?

Oh, don't be like that.

That was therapeutic, very good for the skin tone.

This was supposed to be a watertight scheme if you remember.

There's one small hope. I wouldn't call it a flaw exactly, it's too small.

- What is it? - The payoff money.

Well, what about it?

They don't appear to check it.

I still don't like it, Jasper. Far too soon.

Far too soon.

With every case our reputation soars.

Did you know that I had an invitation today

to speak to the Association of Criminal Lawyers?

- (chuckling) - We can't stop now.

Still, we've only just dealt with the Steed case, you know.

This woman was introduced to us by Steed.

(doorbell rings)

There she is now.

Miss Padgett.

Oh yes, come in.

This way.

(bells chime)

- (knock on door) - Yes?

Miss Padgett, sir.

Ah, come in, dear lady, come in.

Pray, have a seat.

If I may say so, a most unusual pleasure.

May we... May we offer you some tea?

No, thank you.

I won't bandy words, gentlemen.

I believe in straightforward speaking

and straightforward actions.

An excellent maxim, Miss Padgett.

Mr. Steed has explained to me your method of business,

so I suggest I sign this spurious letter

and then we can get on with the case at hand.

Just here.

I wish to commit a fraud and a business conspiracy.

Oh, now, that really is my favorite.

Bonds, shares, or money?

All three,

and on a very large scale.

I see, yes. Might I suggest

that we divide the felony in two:

a simple theft and a complex fraudulent conversion?

I'll leave the details to you,

but it has to be soon.

(mumbles) That is... That is possible.

Yes, Jasper. This is an opportunity

to work in Paragraphs 2 and 5 of the Companies Act '27.

There's one very important stipulation.

I'm at present in partnership with two other gentlemen.

They may help to muddy the issues.

When I am acquitted of fraud,

I want them implicated and committed.

What?

It's quite simple.

Normally you arrange for the guilty to be found innocent.

I want you to reverse the procedure.

Work for a conviction?

While I go free.

That's impossible.

Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen.

If you don't feel capable of doing this,

I won't waste any more of your time.

Just one moment.

You took us by surprise.

We haven't had a request like this before,

but... there's no reason why not.

It will be a fascinating legal exercise.

Our client goes free.

Exactly what I was thinking.

We don't need to be involved

in the defense of these two unfortunate men.

On the contrary.

Our client is acquitted, whereas the other two...

Defended by somebody else.

(wheezes) Some inferior counsel?

Precisely. Do sit down, Miss.

I think we should consider this further.

Yes, indeed.

Well, did they bite?

You didn't warn me about the search.

He's a pretty affectionate fellow, Bart.

The brothers Lakin, did they bite?

Yes. They're digesting it now.

Yes. We can, uh,

We can base our case on the Hodgson fraud

and then slap in the Companies Act 1927,

as a grand finale.

What do you say? Do you agree, Jasper?

Oh, my goodness! Do you realize

this is a chance to work in Fowson's five facts of errors?

I've always wanted to use that.

- Jasper. - Why...

Why didn't we think of this before?

But we did.

Fowson's five facts

have always been uppermost in my mind.

You don't understand. Don't you see the advantages?

No one would be immune. No one.

Not even our colleagues.

Solicitors, barristers, judges.

Judges?

We could get anyone we wished disbarred.

We could manipulate the whole court system.

Good gracious.

Is it bribery, insolence, or just sheer charm

that allows you stay in after hours?

The Licensing Act. I've booked myself a room.

I'm a bona fide traveler.

I've learned a good deal about the law.

They've been very clever about the falsification of records.

Yes, I noticed that.

I'm afraid your unfortunate partners

are bound to be convicted.

Jasper and Miles,

they've worked out a very wonderful case.

All we have to do now is to put it to good use.

Yeah. They don't seem to be worried about it.

It seems to be the case that interests them, not the money.

Let us hope they stay in that frame of mind.

Well, Miss Padgett, the fact you've been able to, uh...

to, uh, meet your obligations to us

so quickly, promptly executed

means that you have already perpetrated your fraud, hmm?

The wheels are in motion. The scheme is under way.

Arrests will not be immediate, you understand.

Perhaps a week or two. These things take time.

How about the rest of the plan, Miss Padgett?

Is everything taken care of?

Yes, completely.

I cannot stress too often

that your partners' conviction depends on two vital factors.

One, that incriminating documents are found in their home,

and two,

that they are both seen at some specific rendezvous.

You have arranged such a place?

Yes. A small office in Earls Court.

It will be proved that the fraud began from there.

Yes. You should lure your clients to this office.

When they arrive, it will empty.

They will be puzzled.

The natural thing to do for them will be to look next door.

They will be seen,

uh, to be recognized again in court.

- (telephone rings) - I understand.

Yes. It should prove an interesting fight, I think.

Excuse me, won't you? Hello?

- Yes, this is Jasper. - This is Steed.

Oh, Mr. Steed?

Look, I can't explain fully,

but I've been re-arrested.

But that's impossible.

He says he's been re-arrested.

(clears throat) Let me talk to him.

Hello, my dear fellow, what's all this nonsense?

I'm being put on trial again.

But your acquittal makes it impossible.

Something about the perverting the course of justice,

entirely new charge.

They quoted one at me, Rex vs. Knox, 1731.

1731, Rex vs. Knox,

I can't say I call it to mind. Just one moment.

We better go around and see him.

Are you there? We're coming round to see you.

Where are you now?

In an office, number 5,

- 37 Susquet Street, SW 5. - Yes, I've got that.

In about five minutes.

We must hurry.

You'll have to excuse us, Miss Padgett.

If you care to wait, Bart will look after you.

- Man: Bart... - Oh, come along.

- Man: Mr. Jasper in? - He's there.

Ah, Jasper, I have a small problem

I'd like to discuss with you.

Not... Not just now, Mr. Wescott.

We unfortunately have to... We have to go out.

But it won't take a minute.

Well, I'm sorry.

As you see, we are rather hurried.

Rex vs. Knox... I don't think...

"Miss Padgett": I don't I'll wait.

Bart, will you tell Mr. Jasper...

What's she doing here?

Miss Padgett. She just came too.

But that was Catherine Gale.

Westcott: Mrs. Gale.

Mrs. Gale.

I'd like a word with you if you don't mind.

Jasper: Are you sure this is the place?

Yes, office number five. Steed was quite precise.

Huh? Perhaps they've taken him somewhere else.

- (door closes) - Let's look in here.

Oh, I... I do beg your pardon.

Well, I never. I don't understand this at all.

The place is quite empty.

Looks as though it hasn't been used for some time.

Where could they have taken Steed?

And what was he doing here in the first place?

Miles!

An empty office.

The two partners are lured there.

They quite naturally look next door.

They are seen...

to be recognized again.

- In court. - Oh, goodness gracious.

How about the incriminating documents?

Miss Padgett's money.

- I never checked it. - It's locked in the safe.

What are you doing?

Bart's there, isn't he?

I don't see what I should be involved in all this.

Bart: Well, you are. Hold that gun steady.

(telephone rings)

Hello?

- Bart? - Yes?

Jasper Lakin speaking. Now, listen carefully.

In the bottom desk of the drawer,

you will find a bunch of keys.

One of them opens the safe.

I want all the contents of the safe destroyed immediately.

Right.

They're on their way back.

Westcott: What are you doing?

If I can open that, we're in the clear.

Blast.

(door opens)

Hello, gentlemen.

I'm afraid there's a little seal across the safe

until the police arrive.

Mr. Steed, I am deeply disappointed in you.

Never you mind. Better luck next time.

(grumbles)

You know, this may not be so bad after all.

There is a precedent for this sort of thing.

Yes, 18, uh... 1873.

Hmm. Regina vs. Cox.

Yes. Surrey Assizes, I think.

Plea of not guilty.

Fascinating direction to the jury.

Call for a mistrial.

Yes. Went to the Lords, I believe.

Ahh! I'm gonna miss 'em.

Especially Miles.

He'll be convicted, of course.

Yeah, bound to be.

The case against him was prepared by, um,

by experts.

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