Original subtitles

[woman] Previously on Wizards of Waverly Place:

You've just completed your final requirement

enabling all of you to begin your Family Wizard Competition.

[audience cheers]

The Wizard Competition is a game show.

Get that purple guy out of here!

The griffin thinks he's food!

[both yelling]

- Harper! - [griffin roars]

Wait. Can we use all of our time-outs

to go help Harper and Zeke?

[roars]

The competition is over.

No way. We called a time-out.

Which expired.

We're not wizards anymore.

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ That the end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪♪

Oh, thank goodness you're all OK.

I can't believe this.

I... I prepared myself knowing the next time

I walked through that portal that,

that only one of us would be the family wizard,

not none of us would be the family wizard.

And not just us.

Any Russo from now on.

Alex just cut down our family tree and burned it.

I told you that I thought we'd make it back in time.

Come on, Justin. Now's not the time to point fingers, honey.

Remember you promised each other

not to let the competition come between you.

There is no competition,

so that deal's off, because of her.

Come on, Justin, she was just trying to help her friends.

Wait. Maybe everything's OK.

I mean, the Lair and all of wizard books are still here.

Ooh, well. That's not really a good sign.

What's happening?

Everything in the Lair is vanishing.

We need to get out of here before we disappear,

- like everything else. - No! I need to sit in

- my comfy chair one more time! - Dad, we don't have time!

Get up!

This is all my fault for turning myself purple.

Don't worry about it, Zeke. This one's all on Alex.

Fine. Fine, Justin, you can blame it all on me if you want.

I'm the reason that we're not wizards anymore.

There. I said it. Is everything better now?

No, it'll never be better.

I agree with Justin.

You ruined everything.

[Jerry] Hey, lighten up on your sister.

Justin, I need that chicken salad sandwich for table four.

Yeah, well, I need a lifetime full of wizard powers.

Looks like neither of us are gonna get what we want.

We're out of chicken salad.

Why didn't you tell me that before?

I've been waiting 20 minutes.

Hey, Justin,

I need a chicken salad sandwich for table 12.

- Oh, here you go. - Wow, that was fast!

That's very funny, I see what you're doing.

Alex, I'm really sorry.

I mean, if we had magical powers,

we could probably keep up with all of these orders.

But we don't, you know, so we can't.

- Give me the sandwich, Max. - Alex, I just took the order.

- My table has been waiting... - You're not going to take my sandwich, Alex.

- He just made it for me... - Hey! Hey!

What is going on here?

Justin is messing up all of my orders.

Kitchen, now.

OK, you guys. I know none of this worked out like you hoped,

but I need you to get past it.

Put your differences aside and work together.

Yeah, listen to your father.

You've got to learn to be happy without magic.

I know I am.

- No problem. - All right.

All right, now give her her sandwich.

OK. Give me a second.

[Justin] Hey, Alex!

Here's your sandwich. Think fast.

- Alex! - I am so sorry!

- You did that on purpose. - No, I didn't.

Justin just threw the sandwich at me. Dad!

I can't believe this.

I am so sorry. We will get you a new sandwich.

And we'll pay for the dry cleaning.

What?

What got into you guys?

We just talked about you guys working together.

I didn't do anything. He's the one being a jerk.

[scoffs] I can't work with her.

Well, if he can't work with her,

then I can't work with her.

These are your kids?

- Good luck. - What? Ma'am...

Look what you're doing! You're driving customers away.

You know what? Why don't you guys just get out of here.

Your mother and I will handle it.

Now!

I'm sorry, mija.

Yeah, that doesn't help.

Oh. There's Justin.

Let's just go around the block and through the alley.

No, OK. This is getting ridiculous.

You guys have been at each other for weeks.

You can't even stand each other.

Come on, we're going to fix this right now.

Harper, no.

I can go a few more weeks without talking to him.

Or, forever.

Oh, you.

Yeah, I forgot something in the shop.

No, come on. You two, come on.

OK...

Make up.

One, two, three, go!

- It's not going to happen. - Not in this lifetime.

See? They're the problem.

"Business for Sale"?

Dad, what are you doing?

Dad, what's happening?

I'm selling the business.

What? Why?

Well, I've always loved the Sub Station

because it was a family business,

but we're not much of a family anymore.

Well... Dad!

Aren't you rushing into this? Dad!

Mom, what's going to happen?

I don't know.

But your father is heartbroken.

Well, I am so disappointed in you, mijas.

I don't know how the whole mija thing works, so...

Nice going, Alex. Look what you did to Dad.

Well, I didn't do it alone.

But... it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to let

Dad throw everything away because you guys hate me.

Oh, what? So, you're going to keep this place going?

[scoffs] No, I don't think so. I am.

Now that I don't have magic, this is all I've got.

No! I've got this.

This is all I'm good at,

and I've got to make sure you guys don't mess this up.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to go explain to Harper

how this whole mija thing works.

- [pop music playing] - ♪ Here we go ♪

♪ Aw, yeah ♪

♪ Well, maybe it's the common curse ♪

♪ Maybe things get better before they get worse ♪

♪ I don't want to become someone ♪

♪ Who can't live up to what I already done ♪

♪ Don't... just figure it out ♪

♪ Well, it rains and pours and then it runs out ♪

♪ I was crying on the bathroom floor ♪

♪ Just when I thought I couldn't take no more ♪

♪ Well, here comes the comeback ♪

♪ The kid is back He's back on track ♪

♪ And there goes my hero ♪

♪ He's the underdog He's coming out on top ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Everybody loves a comeback ♪

♪ So come on back Now come back, come back ♪

♪ Everybody loves the underdog ♪

♪ Singin' that's my dog That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Here comes the comeback ♪

♪ The kid is back Back on track again ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ That's my dog ♪♪

Oh, thanks hon. I'm exhausted.

I can't believe how busy we were.

Yeah, Alex had so much going on

she made a sandwich with peanut butter

on the outside of the bread.

No, no, no. I did that on purpose.

That's what a 40 year old gets for ordering off the kids menu.

I ran out of desserts,

so I had to start selling Max's Halloween candy.

Uh, Jerry, Max hasn't gone trick or treating in three years.

- [all gasping] - Oh.

- Ew. - Yuck.

Listen, you guys.

I'm really sorry for messing up the Wizard Competition.

I didn't mean to ruin your lives.

You didn't ruin my life.

We all did great today.

I'm going to have a good life without magic.

Max, will you forgive me too?

Alex, of course I forgive you.

Any sister of Justin's is a sister of mine.

And none of you can say that didn't make any sense.

- Now, this is my family. - Yeah.

A bunch of people selling barely edible food to an unsuspecting public.

Oh, those are the Russo's I know.

Seriously, though. I'm so proud of you all for getting through this.

What's going on?

And that's the end of round two.

We'll be back right after this.

What just happened?

You're back in the competition.

- What? - Where do I know you from?

Professor Crumbs, I don't understand.

I thought we were disqualified?

The griffin was a test.

Based on past history with the Russo's,

we found it necessary to test your sibling bond.

When Justin and Max forgave Alex,

you all passed through round two.

Does that mean Harper and Zeke were in on it, too?

No.

The griffin was supposed to take Professor Crumbs.

But, apparently he was hungry for something a little fresher,

and, uh, he went for your colorful friend instead.

Gosh, we're back in the competition!

I can still win!

Yes, it's a crazy, crazy game with a cruel and miserable

Round Two that everyone but the Russo's enjoyed.

Anyway, one of you will be the Last Wizard Standing.

Now I know where I know you from.

We start round three with Justin in the lead with 300 points,

Max has 250, and Alex has zero.

Yeah, they can see it. Don't need to rub it in.

Now, we're gonna show you scenes from your life

where magic went awry.

And we all know there's plenty of those.

For 100 points, buzz in with a spell

that could solve the problem.

First scene...

When a fairy crashes your school play, you can use

"It's too late to save this play,

- but make this fairy go away." - [bell dings]

Correct! Alex is on the board with 100 points!

Next scene...

[all] Vote for Justin. Vote for Justin.

When you want posters to stop talking, say

"Posters, posters, didn't squeal at all.

Zip it up and stay on the wall."

When you want your brothers to stop talking,

a good wand flick to the head.

- [bell dings] - Correct again!

- And brutal. - Oh, thank you.

Somebody want to check Justin's buzzer?

- [buzzes] - It's working fine.

Even more embarrassing. [chuckles]

And now for the third and final scene...

- [siren blaring] - Oh, no!

The alarm, something's wrong!

- [buzzes] - The answer is me.

Ah, I'm up there in the crystal ball.

- Yes, you are, Max. - [bell buzzes]

Unfortunately, this is not the part of the competition

where you tell us who's on the crystal ball.

That's not me up there?

Wow. That looks exactly like me.

When you're going out of control in a miniature submarine

you use "Proton, neutron, get gone."

[bell buzzes]

Sorry, Justin. That is incorrect.

"Proton, neutron, back to one."

- [bell dings] - That's correct again!

Alex Russo takes all the points!

Yeah!

We'll be right back with the final round that decides who

will be the Last Wizard Standing!

She caught up to me. I thought I'd be way ahead by now.

OK. Uh... Justin, get your head in the game,

or I'll vampire up and take your ear off.

Great pep talk. Butterfly kiss?

Alex? You're tied for first place!

I'm so surprised you actually have a chance!

I had no idea you could do this!

- All right. - No, really. It's a miracle.

- That's enough. - Are you cheating?

Mason!

I have always believed in you!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Final Round.

[all cheer]

The competitors must use their powers

to navigate a magical obstacle course

that ends in The Labyrinth of Stone.

The scores are so close that whoever gets back first

will become the Russo Family Wizard.

[all cheer]

Alex, Justin, Max... Take your starting positions.

On your mark.

Get set.

[bangs]

[all cheering]

Whoa! What is this place?

It's a lava river with a scary bridge.

How could you make it this far?

[Justin] Looks too narrow for the three of us.

I think that's the idea.

I know.

I'm going for it.

[gasping]

Hey! Get your own rock!

Geilsjay-timesday.

Awesome. As long as I hop, you guys stay frozen.

Levitatus me-atus.

Excuse me, coming through.

Pardon me. Whew!

Wait, who am I looking for?

[grunting]

- Oh, it's just a maze. - No problem.

I got this.

[both grunt]

[breathing]

[exhaling]

Uh...

[breathing hard]

Argh!

Yes! Check point, finally. Whoa!

Not fair.

[breathes heavily]

[whimpers]

- Justin! Did you find the exit? - [Justin] I'm not telling you.

[Alex] I know, but it was worth a try.

Would you guys be quiet? I'm in a maze.

I don't...

[all cheering]

This is... This is getting exciting, people.

Whoever emerges first will become our Russo Family Wizard.

[all cheering]

[grunting]

[groans] I keep coming to these stupid dead ends.

Of course!

Go through, mow through.

All three Russo's have entered the Tunnel of Mist.

I'd tell you who's ahead,

but I can't see, because there seems to be a lot of mist!

Thus the name, "Tunnel of Mist."

This is it.

- Oh, I hope it's Justin. - I hope it's Alex.

I'm going to go with Max

so we can say that somebody rooted for him.

I, I see someone coming!

It's Justin! Justin is the Last Wizard Standing!

- Yeah! - [all cheering]

[Justin] I won!

- [all cheering] - [Zeke] Oh yeah, baby!

You guys OK?

Good job, bro.

I'm really happy for you.

You mean it?

I really mean it. Nobody deserves it more than you.

You're going to make a great wizard.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Wizard World,

it's been a fun and exciting competition,

and now is the moment we've all been waiting for.

Unfortunately, it's not the Tootietootie dancers.

I am so proud of you.

You did so great.

You know that since I didn't win,

we can't be together.

In my heart, we will.

[horns triumphantly play]

It is with great pride I hereby confer full Wizardship

on Justin Vincenzo Pepe Russo.

Wait! Wait.

I can't accept this.

[all] What? Why?

What're you talking about?

What do you mean?

- Justin, don't do this. - I have to.

I have to tell everyone what happened.

[Justin] Alex was just ahead of me,

going into the Tunnel of Mist.

Threemetrus Move-ee-trus.

What's the spell? What's the spell?

Threemetrus Move-ee-trus.

[Justin] She got through the lasers and was headed towards

the finish line when I got caught on a tree root.

[grunting]

I kept pulling, but it was no use.

I thought it was over.

[grunting and straining]

Alex was about to cross the finish line,

then she came back.

What are you doing?

I don't want to win this way.

Threemetrus Move-ee-trus.

Ha!

[grunts]

What's going on?

The finish line's right there.

[cheering in the distance]

My sister would have won the competition.

She came back to help me.

I think you're the one who deserves this.

Is this true, Alex?

Justin...

It's OK.

You deserve this more than anyone.

I, um... I think you're going to make a great wizard.

Kneel.

Very well.

I decree that Alex Russo is officially

the Russo Family Wizard.

[horns blaring]

That's my girl. The Russo Family Wizard.

We were this close to becoming a normal family.

Hi.

Justin.

May I have a word?

Of course.

After 3,000 years of being Head Master of Wiztech,

I'm officially announcing my retirement immediately.

What? You're retiring?

And, because of your integrity and knowledge,

I want you to take my place.

But...

But I'm not a wizard.

[chuckling] Well, I think I can handle that.

I confer full wizardry on Justin Vincenzo Pepe Russo.

Allow me to introduce Professor Russo,

who's taking my place as Head Master of Wiztech.

Wait, wait, wait.

What? I was in line for that job!

I painted your Lair during my vacation.

Yes, yes.

Well, 2,000 years of bad breath jokes about me...

...add up.

Great.

You're going to make a great wizard professor.

Oh! Professor Shnoogly-boo-boo-me-cutie-kins.

I love it.

Son, since Alex and Justin are keeping their family powers

I'm passing onto you... the family business.

The sub shop is going to be yours someday.

So, Alex and Justin get to be wizards,

and I get the family Sub Station.

That's awesome!

Guess what guys? I get the Sub Station!

- [all laughing] - Yeah!

Oh! Check it out!

We're all happy at the same time!

[Tootietootie] And that's our show, ladies and gentlemen.

Thanks for watching.

And good night.