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1
00:00:01,208 --> 00:00:04,250
Hey, guys! How's it going?
So, check it out:
2
00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:06,416
Mom sent more photos
of possible beaches
3
00:00:06,416 --> 00:00:07,875
for this year's
family photo.
4
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:10,708
So, wait, we're supposed
to go to a place we never go
5
00:00:10,708 --> 00:00:13,250
and put our arms around
each other like we never do,
6
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:14,833
just to have a picture
we can send
7
00:00:14,833 --> 00:00:16,750
to people we don't like,
anyway?
8
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,875
This year, there's a record
number of families
9
00:00:18,875 --> 00:00:20,125
we don't like
to send 'em to.
10
00:00:21,625 --> 00:00:24,125
Alex, the annual barefoot
family portrait on the beach
11
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,458
is very important. I recently
started painting my toenails
12
00:00:27,458 --> 00:00:30,375
in the off chance that I could
get in this year's picture?
13
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,500
Of course you can, Harper.
You're a Russo now.
14
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,708
Oh, my gosh!
15
00:00:36,708 --> 00:00:39,416
What am I gonna wear?
'Cause this is so drab.
16
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,708
I need something
that says Russo.
17
00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:45,333
Oh! I know. I'll wear
that dress
18
00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:47,458
that says "Russo"
all over it.
19
00:00:48,875 --> 00:00:54,583
That I happened to have made
before I ever knew you people.
20
00:00:55,708 --> 00:00:56,708
Duh!
21
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,166
And this is us:
making an entrance!
22
00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:10,625
And this is us:
shaking an entrance!
23
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:16,250
[singing]
♪ And cue the applause! ♪
24
00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:20,458
Mom? Dad?
25
00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:23,833
Please, buddy.
We weren't finished.
26
00:01:25,125 --> 00:01:27,250
Yeah, but my life is.
27
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:30,125
[up-tempo music playing]
28
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,416
♪ My name is Marty
I'm the pops of the Finkles ♪
29
00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:41,708
♪ And I'm Elaine
I'm the tops of the Finkles ♪
30
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:44,833
♪ A dash of pizzazz
and a sprinkle of Finkle ♪
31
00:01:44,833 --> 00:01:46,583
♪ Is all that you will need ♪
32
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:48,500
♪ To make this
whole night twinkle ♪
33
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,958
♪ So, come one,
come all ♪
34
00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:51,875
♪ Give a snap
and a winkle ♪
35
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:57,458
♪ For the smallest of all,
and my favorite Finkle ♪
36
00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:59,083
[clearing throat]
37
00:01:59,083 --> 00:02:01,833
I don't want to.
38
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:07,458
Please, buddy.
Come on!
39
00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:13,208
♪ I'm Harper Finkle
the dinkiest Finkle ♪
40
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:14,708
♪ More smiles,
sweets and cutes ♪
41
00:02:14,708 --> 00:02:17,125
♪ Than you
could ever thinkle ♪
42
00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:23,000
♪ Lights, camera, Finkle! ♪
43
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,500
♪ And cue the applause ♪♪
44
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,583
[light clapping]
45
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:32,875
Oh, you guys are so much
better than I remember.
46
00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:38,375
♪ Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪
47
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,458
♪ That the end will no doubt
justify the means ♪
48
00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:42,500
♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪
49
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,375
♪ Yes, please ♪
50
00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:46,125
♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪
51
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,875
♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪
52
00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:50,583
♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪
53
00:02:50,583 --> 00:02:52,083
♪ That's what I said ♪
54
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:55,250
♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪
55
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:59,250
♪ When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪
56
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:02,875
♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪
57
00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:07,458
♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
58
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:10,708
♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪
59
00:03:10,708 --> 00:03:14,875
♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪
60
00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:18,208
♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪
61
00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:21,375
♪ Because everything is not ♪
62
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,500
♪ What it seems ♪♪
63
00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:28,583
Well, this is
certainly a surprise.
64
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,875
You're tellin' me.
65
00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:31,708
Why aren't you guys
in Pittsburgh?
66
00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:33,208
Well, you'll be
pleased to know
67
00:03:33,208 --> 00:03:35,333
that we're here
to audition for a gig...
68
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:38,208
...of the paid variety,
no less.
69
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:40,958
That's great. 35 years
on the edge of show business
70
00:03:40,958 --> 00:03:42,750
has finally paid off.
71
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,875
Paid off in spades.
72
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:47,458
And diamonds and clubs
and hearts
73
00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:48,875
and the rest
of those jokers.
74
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:50,708
We're aces, I tell ya!
75
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,208
[giggling]
76
00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,000
Paid off
for you too, buddy.
77
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,000
You're back in.
Just like the old days!
78
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,250
Wait, stop. I can't work
a gig with you guys.
79
00:03:58,250 --> 00:03:59,875
I live here now.
80
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:01,708
We're even putting her
in the family photo.
81
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:05,625
[gasping] We finally have enough
people for a human pyramid.
82
00:04:07,708 --> 00:04:09,250
Come on, buddy.
83
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,458
The Finkles are gonna be
putting butts in the seats
84
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:15,125
for Black Sea
Railways in Romania!
85
00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:18,750
♪ Lights, camera, Finkle! ♪
86
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,166
In Romania!
87
00:04:22,125 --> 00:04:25,291
♪ And cue the applause ♪♪
88
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,708
Sorry, that's
just really catchy.
89
00:04:29,875 --> 00:04:32,000
Wait. You can't just
waltz back into my life...
90
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,833
Harper, can I talk
to you for a minute, please?
91
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:37,000
- B-R-B.
- Gesundheit.
92
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,583
Ah...
93
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:45,375
OK, how can you not
want to go to Romania?
94
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:47,458
Your parents are so fun.
95
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:50,250
I mean, look at their ironic
clothes and hairstyles.
96
00:04:54,958 --> 00:04:57,000
It's not ironic, it's tragic.
97
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,291
Where do they get
their sense of dress?
98
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,000
OK, well, what about how
they make everything a joke?
99
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,083
Yeah, try living with them
for a few years.
100
00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:07,583
He's been making fun of
how old I am since I was seven.
101
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:09,250
Seven!
102
00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:13,458
We're really sorry
to take your little lady
103
00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:14,708
away from you like this.
104
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,208
What are you talking about?
105
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,083
Word on the street
is you two lovebirds
106
00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:21,000
are quite a big ticket item.
107
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,208
Oh!
108
00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,500
Me and Harper?
109
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,458
Uh, no, sorry.
Harper is dating Zeke.
110
00:05:29,458 --> 00:05:33,875
- Zeke Beakerman.
- Zeke Beak-erman? It rhymes!
111
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,458
[laughing]
112
00:05:35,458 --> 00:05:37,416
Must be a stage name.
113
00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:39,291
The last thing we need
is for our daughter
114
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:41,750
to date another
"Johnny Stage Door."
115
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:44,000
Being a couple of loose cannon,
undependable,
116
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,083
showbiz-types
ourselves,
117
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,000
we were hoping our daughter
118
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,416
would wind up
with some nice, boring,
119
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:51,291
accountable square
like yourself.
120
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,333
Dad...
121
00:05:57,333 --> 00:05:59,166
Did they just call me
a boring square?
122
00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:02,333
Well, you are sort of...
a square.
123
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:04,333
- Wha...?
- I mean that in the best way.
124
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:06,291
- I...
- Like, you're
not afraid to be yourself.
125
00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:08,833
You know... a boring square.
126
00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:12,208
Everyone thinks
I'm a boring square?
127
00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:14,625
[scoffing, laughing]
128
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,333
They are not going to believe
this down at the Hobby Shop.
129
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:20,208
[chuckling]
I can hear 'em laughing now.
130
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:27,208
Finkles, I got
a question for you.
131
00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:30,333
Would you ever make your
kids take a lame family photo
132
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:33,458
- while wearing the same
clothes?
- It's not lame, Alex.
133
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,333
It's a family tradition.
134
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:37,208
The Finkles have a
family tradition, too.
135
00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:39,208
It's called,
whoever falls asleep first
136
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:41,333
gets a mustache
drawn on your face.
137
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,125
Guilty as charged!
138
00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:44,708
I'm a napper.
139
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,291
You guys are awesome.
140
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,958
If Harper doesn't want
to be in your act, I'll do it.
141
00:06:49,958 --> 00:06:51,625
Wow. You'll do anything
142
00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:53,458
to get out of realizing
your brother's dream
143
00:06:53,458 --> 00:06:56,375
of forming a family pyramid
in the sand, won't you?
144
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:57,833
Pretty much.
145
00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:02,375
"Alex Finkle" sure
sounds swell to me.
146
00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:03,625
Is this OK with you, buddy?
147
00:07:03,625 --> 00:07:04,958
Well, I don't wanna do it.
148
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,625
I'm really loving
being a Russo. Oh...
149
00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:08,875
Hey, can I be the top
of the human pyramid?
150
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:12,958
Sold!
Welcome to the Finkles, buddy.
151
00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:14,625
Rehearsal's at one o'clock.
152
00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:17,500
And this is us
making an exit.
153
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:22,250
[up-tempo music playing]
154
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:24,416
Hey, be sure to turn that
thing off when we're gone.
155
00:07:24,416 --> 00:07:26,208
Don't want to waste
the batteries!
156
00:07:32,291 --> 00:07:33,583
[music clicks off]
157
00:07:34,708 --> 00:07:37,333
Well, Alex, that was...
158
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,875
I don't think you know what
you're getting yourself into.
159
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:41,458
I'll be fine. I mean...
160
00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:43,000
You like being a Russo so much,
161
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,500
it'll be cool for me to try
and be a Finkle for awhile.
162
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:49,000
- Do you even know
where Romania is?
- [scoffing]
163
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:53,083
Yes. It's in Rome. Duh!
164
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,000
I know my states.
165
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:58,625
- She's right, you know.
- No, she's not.
166
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:01,875
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. D
in geography.
167
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:05,458
Romania is a country
in Eastern Europe
168
00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:08,458
that's full of gymnasts
and vampires.
169
00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:11,083
Gymnasts and vampires?
170
00:08:11,083 --> 00:08:14,458
Maybe Justin can come with
and find a new girlfriend.
171
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:16,875
Hey, I'm getting
the Finkle rhythm down.
172
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:20,000
♪ And cue the applause ♪♪
173
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:31,583
I don't know what to do about
Alex without Theresa here.
174
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:33,625
I mean, Theresa always
tells me what to do.
175
00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:35,708
Well, can't you just
tell Alex she can't go?
176
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:36,708
You're her Dad.
177
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,458
[scoffing chuckle]
178
00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:43,833
Well, Dad, whatever
you tell her to do,
179
00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,375
she's just gonna do
the opposite.
180
00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:47,208
Unless she knows
what you're gonna do
181
00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:50,166
and then she'll do
the opposite of that.
182
00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:53,875
So, we gotta find something
that's not opposite.
183
00:08:56,458 --> 00:08:57,458
[scoffing chuckle]
184
00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:00,875
Max is right.
185
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:03,458
We'll use reverse psychology.
We'll tell her she has to go,
186
00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:05,416
and then she won't want to.
187
00:09:05,416 --> 00:09:06,583
That could work.
188
00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:09,458
Good idea, Max.
Thanks for your help.
189
00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:14,458
Harper, Justin told me
what your parents said.
190
00:09:14,458 --> 00:09:15,833
And you don't have to worry.
191
00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:18,125
I'm going to turn myself
into the boring loser
192
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,708
that your parents
want me to be.
193
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:23,583
They didn't say
"boring loser."
194
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:26,500
No, but they were
thinking it.
195
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,875
Or at least I was.
196
00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:34,000
Why does everyone think
that I'm a boring loser?
197
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,208
I am just as engaging
and entertaining as Zeke.
198
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:40,083
Whoa, bro, not so fast.
199
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:42,083
Are you the captain of three
different clogging teams?
200
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,125
I don't think so!
201
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:48,625
Oh, no! I didn't think about how
cool my clogging comes across.
202
00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:51,166
[groaning]
He is interesting!
203
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,875
Zeke, wait.
Let's talk about this.
204
00:09:55,875 --> 00:09:58,583
No, no. If your parents
want me to change,
205
00:09:58,583 --> 00:09:59,875
then I'm gonna change.
206
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,208
Starting today, I'm gonna
somehow suppress my urge
207
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:05,458
to do a Double Stomp,
followed by the Mountain Goat.
208
00:10:05,458 --> 00:10:06,875
[whimpering]
209
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:14,833
All right. Later, Russos. This
Finkle's gotta get to rehearsal.
210
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:17,708
Alex... I just wanted
you to know that
211
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:21,375
we all want you to go
to Romania with the Finkles.
212
00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,000
OK. Love you. Bye.
213
00:10:27,416 --> 00:10:29,375
Dad, that wasn't opposite
enough.
214
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,125
You should have
said something like:
215
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:35,708
"We want you to go
to Finkles with Romania."
216
00:10:36,708 --> 00:10:38,708
[scoffing chuckle]
217
00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:51,000
Hey, guys, I thought of
something I can do in the act.
218
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,458
Watch this.
219
00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:54,458
[simple drumroll plays]
220
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:57,333
Pretty good, huh?
221
00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:59,458
I think it's gonna pull
the whole show together.
222
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:00,875
[drumroll plays]
223
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:03,500
[together] Hacky.
224
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,458
And you're late for rehearsal,
buddy.
225
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:07,291
Only a couple of minutes.
226
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:10,500
Show biz minutes are a million
times more precious than
regular people minutes.
227
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:14,000
Sorry.
I didn't know.
228
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,458
You guys are a lot more
serious than I thought.
229
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:17,708
You wanna be part
of this outfit,
230
00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:19,583
you gotta fly on
the straight and narrow.
231
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:21,583
You wanna be part
of this outfit, don't you?
232
00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:26,625
A couple of regular people
minutes ago I did.
233
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:29,458
Well, you better decide,
234
00:11:29,458 --> 00:11:31,375
'cause this crazy
show biz shebang
235
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,500
is a whole lot of
blood and sweat.
236
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,833
But, if you do it right,
you get the laughs,
237
00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:39,750
you get the fame
and the moola!
238
00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:43,708
Well, fame and moola
sounds good.
239
00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:45,875
Actually, "moola"
sounds gross.
240
00:11:45,875 --> 00:11:48,500
Sounds something like
a French cow would say.
241
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:51,083
"Moo-la-la."
242
00:11:51,958 --> 00:11:55,458
Yeah? Yeah? Nothing?
Really?
243
00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:56,708
You got moxie, buddy.
244
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,291
In fact,
that's your new name...
245
00:12:00,291 --> 00:12:02,416
Moxie Finkle!
246
00:12:02,416 --> 00:12:04,708
Try it on for size.
Walk it around a bit.
247
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:09,625
"Moxie?"
Sounds like a dog's name.
248
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,833
What's next?
Do I get my own squeaky toy?
249
00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:14,208
Too much lip.
That's it. She's out!
250
00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:17,208
Aw, come on, Marty.
Give the rookie a break.
251
00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:19,291
Nope. I'm done with her.
252
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:21,708
Sorry, I tried.
Hit the road.
253
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:26,083
And if you hurry, you might make
that little family photo shoot.
254
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,291
Smile big, sad clown.
255
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,000
Looks like we've
gotta replace her.
256
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,708
Hey, buddy,
how about telling Harper
257
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,708
- to hightail it over here.
- Harper?
258
00:12:35,708 --> 00:12:38,000
She's kind of happy
not doing this.
259
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,416
Harper doesn't care
about being happy.
260
00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:42,875
Harper cares about
making other people happy.
261
00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:45,500
She's a Finkle!
262
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:51,000
All right...
I'll be Moxie Finkle.
263
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,833
Well, as long as we know
who's calling the shots now,
264
00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:55,333
let's get back
to business.
265
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:58,708
We only got this place booked
for nine more hours.
266
00:12:58,708 --> 00:13:01,875
- What? Nine hours?
- Yeah.
267
00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:03,583
It's gonna take you
at least six hours
268
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,416
to learn how to
play the ukulele.
269
00:13:05,416 --> 00:13:08,625
And two more to do it
while you're juggling.
270
00:13:08,625 --> 00:13:11,500
That only leaves one hour
to learn all your lines.
271
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:17,000
Homework? I thought this
was gonna be fun.
272
00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:28,458
OK. Alex is on her way home.
273
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,083
If we don't come up
with a new plan quick,
274
00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:32,250
she's gonna be ending every
sentence for the rest of her
life with:
275
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:35,375
♪ And cue the applause! ♪♪
276
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:40,458
Theresa won't like me even more
if her family picture is ruined
277
00:13:40,458 --> 00:13:44,708
because one of her family
members is living on
a train in Romania.
278
00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:47,833
And not the family member
she'd be OK with.
279
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,125
I'm telling Justin.
280
00:13:57,833 --> 00:14:00,416
OK, what would Theresa
do in this situation?
281
00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:03,416
Well... Mom and Alex
usually have these
282
00:14:03,416 --> 00:14:06,000
heart-to-heart girl-talk
kind of things by themselves.
283
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,958
Out on the terrace.
That's where they do it.
284
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,708
You're right again, Max.
285
00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:11,708
And since you're so good
at filling in for Mom,
286
00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:12,875
why don't you do that?
287
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:15,458
Why not Harper?
She's a girl.
288
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:19,583
Oh... Harper's been completely
useless in this situation.
289
00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:26,125
I'd be upset, but you saying
that to my face like that...?
290
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:28,583
It makes me feel like
I'm part of this family.
291
00:14:29,583 --> 00:14:30,583
[door opening]
292
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:32,750
[groaning] I'm exhausted.
293
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:35,708
All right, here she is.
Go girl-talk it up.
294
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:39,750
Alex?
295
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:44,000
Can I talk to you
out on the terrace, please?
296
00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:50,166
Well, that's weird, so yeah.
297
00:14:58,125 --> 00:15:01,833
Come on. You and Mom
usually stand over here
298
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,583
and look out
over the city.
299
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:10,958
So listen, mija,
300
00:15:10,958 --> 00:15:13,708
when we were saying you should
go to Romania before,
301
00:15:13,708 --> 00:15:15,583
we were really saying
you shouldn't go.
302
00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:18,208
Max, I know. Reverse psychology.
I got it.
303
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,000
Right. So, now I'm saying
you shouldn't go.
304
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,250
I'm not. I already decided
how I'm getting of it.
305
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,250
- So, you're not going?
- No.
306
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,416
Oh, I got you.
307
00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:29,416
[chuckling] So you're using
reverse psychology on me.
308
00:15:29,416 --> 00:15:31,208
No, I'm really not going.
309
00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:33,000
The more you say
you're not going,
310
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,875
the more I know
you actually are going.
311
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:38,625
Good talk, Max.
312
00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:42,708
But wait, Alex, we were
supposed to hug now.
313
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:48,458
My little girl is
growing up so fast.
314
00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:50,166
What happened? What happened?
315
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,583
She went upstairs and
didn't tell us what she's doing.
316
00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:56,458
Well, she's going.
She's definitely going.
317
00:15:56,458 --> 00:16:00,583
- She didn't even hug me.
- Oh, no.
318
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,416
What are we gonna do now?
319
00:16:02,416 --> 00:16:04,583
Well, I've lived with you
Russos for some time now
320
00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:06,250
and it seems like most
of your problems
321
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,875
are solved right after chaos.
322
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:10,291
So, maybe that's what we
should do. We need chaos.
323
00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:11,708
[together] Right.
324
00:16:11,708 --> 00:16:14,458
Chaos could blow
the audition for Alex.
325
00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:17,416
See, she's not
that useless.
326
00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:19,250
Aw, thanks for the compliment.
327
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,583
I can hear you when you when
you do the... that, yeah.
328
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:34,083
Did Alex get into
Mommy's makeup again?
329
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:37,833
OK, good, so it's working.
330
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:40,875
I'm off to go blow my audition.
It's go time or no time!
331
00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:44,625
Why would you sabotage
the audition?
332
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,708
Because I don't want to go
to Romania anymore.
333
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:49,333
Oh, so you'd rather
be a Russo than a Finkle?
334
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,875
I know. Weird, right?
335
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,125
Turns out the Finkles
really stink-le.
336
00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:56,125
[chuckles]
337
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:59,125
All right, well,
now it's a toss up.
338
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,458
The truth is, if I don't go,
Harper has to go.
339
00:17:03,458 --> 00:17:06,416
And I don't want her to leave.
So, the only solution is
340
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:08,166
to ruin it so nobody can go.
341
00:17:08,166 --> 00:17:11,750
Well, if there is one thing
you're really good at, it's
ruining things.
342
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,458
Aw, thank you.
343
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:22,416
♪ And the smallest of all
and my favorite Finkle... ♪
344
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,375
[not singing]
I'm Alex Finkle.
345
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,166
[both whispering]
Moxie Finkle.
346
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,083
I'm Moxie Finkle...
347
00:17:32,083 --> 00:17:34,625
...the smallest of all,
and my favorite Finkle.
348
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,458
[muttering]
I just said that part.
349
00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:41,416
Oh, I'm sorry.
350
00:17:41,416 --> 00:17:45,333
Am I messing this up in front
of the Romanian producers?
351
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:47,583
Gymnast and vampire,
figures.
352
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:52,375
Why don't we just quit
while we're ahead?
353
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,750
Well, looks like somebody
fried their old brain
354
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:57,125
watching too much of
the old boob tube.
355
00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:59,083
[laughing]
356
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:02,125
That's not all she fried.
Get a load of that crazy 'do.
357
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:03,708
Who does your
hair and make-up, Moxie,
358
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,708
a near-sighted
orangutan?
359
00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:08,625
[laughing]
360
00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:13,083
This is the perfect comedy
for our train!
361
00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:14,708
The people will love it.
362
00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:16,416
[chuckling]
363
00:18:16,416 --> 00:18:18,750
What?
No, no, no!
364
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,875
I've gotta get out of here
before they put me on a train.
365
00:18:24,375 --> 00:18:27,708
- What are you doing?
- Proving to the Finkles
that I am not a boring square.
366
00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:30,250
I am exciting!
367
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:31,750
I'm gonna use
the "Ham It Up" spell.
368
00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:35,000
Tell some jokes
all old and clammy.
369
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,458
Then make me act
all bold and hammy.
370
00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:44,833
[swallowing]
371
00:18:48,708 --> 00:18:50,875
[piano music playing]
372
00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:54,083
[humming] Ha!
373
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,000
Hello there, Finkles.
374
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,083
Mind if I "choo" up
a little scenery?
375
00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:01,208
[together] Justin?
376
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,708
A-choo, a-choo, a-choo,
and a-choo!
377
00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,083
[chuckling]
378
00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:06,958
Would you guys get
a load of these two?
379
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:09,833
I mean seriously,
their act stinks so bad,
380
00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:12,333
onions cry when
they watch it.
381
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:15,416
- Am I right, Romanians?
- [laughing]
382
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:18,250
Aw, Justin! What is this?
383
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:20,208
Boy, was I wrong about you.
384
00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:22,583
Yeah, quit stealing our thunder.
You're gonna ruin our audition.
385
00:19:23,833 --> 00:19:25,000
Oh, really?
386
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:28,833
Then, let's ruin it
some more.
387
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:32,250
[swallowing]
388
00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:37,291
A one, a two, a one, two, three!
389
00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:40,000
[piano music playing]
390
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,583
Hey, everybody, I haven't
seen an act this bad
391
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:44,958
since my brother starred
in Vida Romania.
392
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:46,583
[laughing]
393
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:48,875
Oh, Moxie, not you, too?
394
00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:54,000
All right,
time to create chaos.
395
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:56,458
I'll throw the first tomato.
396
00:19:57,375 --> 00:20:00,375
Shh. Wait. Listen.
397
00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,000
Do you smell that?
I smell ham.
398
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,375
[sniffing] Spiral cut,
hind quarter.
399
00:20:05,375 --> 00:20:08,250
Probably on sale. This way.
400
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,708
- Hey, brother o' mine?
- What's up, sissy-poo?
401
00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:14,125
I'll tell you what's down.
402
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:16,125
Stocks on those two
knuckleheads right here.
403
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:18,625
- Sell, sell, sell!
- [laughing]
404
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:21,458
- ♪ Bo-bo-bo-bo ♪
- ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
405
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:25,000
[all singing randomly]
406
00:20:27,291 --> 00:20:28,583
[panting]
407
00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:31,125
Say, Doc,
what's wrong with me?
408
00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:35,083
- You got two weeks to live!
- Oh, no. I want a second
opinion.
409
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:37,333
All right.
You're ugly, too.
410
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,875
[all laughing]
411
00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:43,083
Ow, ow!
412
00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:46,875
Stop! Stop this
perfect train comedy!
413
00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:48,958
We've made a decision.
414
00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:53,458
You won a job with
the Black Sea Railways!
415
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:57,208
Well, this is some
kind of rigmarole.
416
00:20:57,208 --> 00:21:00,875
Yeah. These two goofballs
just high-jacked our set.
417
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:03,166
Oh, not to worry, Finkles.
418
00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:06,000
We have another
gig available...
419
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,500
...in Youngstown, Ohio!
420
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,375
- We'll be in touch.
- [gasping]
421
00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:13,000
Did you hear that?
422
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,875
- Nobody's better than us.
- How do you like that?
423
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:20,708
Ah. That took a lot less
chaos as I thought it would.
424
00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:23,500
I'm sorry, Finkles.
I'm dating your daughter.
425
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:25,166
I'm not dating you.
426
00:21:25,166 --> 00:21:28,958
So, tonight, I'm expressing
my love for Harper
427
00:21:28,958 --> 00:21:32,416
through the time-honored art
of the clog!
428
00:21:44,833 --> 00:21:47,250
I hope it's OK that I'm not
going to Youngstown with you.
429
00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:50,958
It sure is, buddy. We were wrong
to make you do that before.
430
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:53,250
We can see now that
you got a real sweet deal
431
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,125
with these Russo characters.
432
00:21:55,125 --> 00:21:56,458
I sure do.
433
00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:58,708
And we got a sweet deal, too.
434
00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:03,708
See ya, buddy.
435
00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:06,375
And this is us...
making an exit.
436
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,208
[up-tempo music plays]
437
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:11,875
Ah, show business!
438
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,875
[music clicking off]
439
00:22:19,875 --> 00:22:21,625
That was weird.
440
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,166
[drumroll plays]
441
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:26,875
- [drumroll repeats]
- [giggling]
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