All language subtitles for Wizards of Waverly Place_S03E07_Marathoner Helper.en.cc

- [dogs barking on stereo]
- [screaming]

No! Stop following me!
Go away!

Harper!

[barking stops on stereo]

Really?!

Alex, I'm sorry.

I knew you'd be annoyed
by physical activity,

so I'm training
while you're asleep.

Well, I'm awake.

Your invisible dogs
woke me up.

Alex, I'm training
for the marathon.

And sorry about
the dog noises.

It helps me run faster
when I feel like dogs
are about to eat my face.

Why would you ever want
to run 26 miles?

The same reason you
stayed on the couch
for the entire month of July.

Oh, I get it.

A sense of accomplishment.

Setting a goal
and then achieving it.

Well, then, I guess
I should be supportive here.

All right, what's the thing
that people say?

Oh, yeah...
keep it down!

[dogs barking on stereo]

Hey!

♪ Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ That the end will no doubt
justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪♪

Har... Harper!

What's up, what're you doing?

I'm blending up all this fruit
to make a smoothie.

That's... that's actually
an awesome idea.

A drinkable meal.

I really hate chewing.

Birds are so lucky. Their moms
just chew up their food

and they spit it
right in their mouths.

I really wish my dad
married a bird.

Hey, honey.

Look how healthy
Harper's eating.

Oh, yeah. You know she's
training to run a marathon.

Oh, you must be very proud
of your daughter.

Yes, we are.
That's our daughter.

Come on,
she's not your daughter.

Hey, guys! Check it out.

If you put cereal on hot dogs,
it counts as breakfast.

That's your daughter.

Yeah.

It's so hard to be
filled with pride

and have no one
to give it to.

Hey, you should be proud of me.

I got a whole bookcase full
of trophies in my bedroom:

The... Scholastic Decathlon,

debate team and the Alien
Language League, among others.

And that's not
even counting ribbons or
my pat-on-the-back photo album.

You know, honey, we...
we are very proud of you.

But... come on,

those awards required

no physical movement
on your part.

All right, I'm gonna
start training for
that marathon right now.

Right after I get a pedicure
to strengthen my toenails
for the big run. Ahh.

All right, come on, Harper.

Eat your breakfast dog
so that we can go upstairs
and do some couch-camping.

Alex, that's so unhealthy.

My body's a machine and
I have to fuel it with the best
that nature has to offer.

Well, I got these
from the hot dog guy,

and he definitely
smells like nature.

Alex, I'm in training.

[groans] You still haven't
given up on that crazy
marathon idea yet?

It's been, like...

Like, four hours.

When I set my mind
to something, I stay on it

until I come out a winner.

Remember all those
spelling bees I entered?

I kept at it until I won.

Yeah, I remember.

Who won that
tae kwon do contest?

That's right. This girl.

That smoothie didn't
even see it coming.

[phone beeps]

Justin, I just got your text

and I am so on it, man.

I'm going to train you
to win that marathon.

All right, dude,
let's do what it takes
'cause I need this trophy.

Well, then we start right now.
Crab walk!

- Crab walk. Crab walk.
- Crab walk?

Crab walk it out.
Love that!

Love that. Bring it up,
let's do a duck walk.

Let's do a duck walk! Quack,
quack, quack it out.
Love that, love that.

Let's cool it down.
Let's just cool it down
with some leapfrogs.

- Leapfrogs?
- Ready!

Love it. Good extension.

- Good release.
- [Justin] Feels good.

[both grunting]

Is that your son?

[both] No.

I'm not wearing my cat suit!

I told you I never would.
Please just stop chasing me.

Harper!

Harper!

[dings]

Alex! I could have fallen.

Harper, when you moved in here,

you promised me that
you would never, ever,
ever run a marathon.

Dear, I never said that.

Look, I'm half asleep,
so my lies aren't
really good right now.

Alex, I'm sorry,

but I've got to keep training.
I'm up to eight miles.

If all goes well,
I should be able
to finish a marathon in...

...about three years. Yeah.

Three more years
of that squeaking?

I've never used magic
before my alarm clock went off.

I don't have an alarm clock.

I wish there was some sort
of finish-a-marathon spell.

Oh, look,
a finish-a-marathon spell.

I love magic.

Aww, thanks, Alex.

You're so supportive.

- Mmm.
- [treadmill dings]

All right!

Come on, Finkle.
You can do this!

Push it, push it,
push it!

"Gnip-gnop, hippity-hop,

run 26.2 miles,
then stop."

Wow!

These protein bars work fast.

Thanks for coming out.

Oh, cool. Are we gonna
throw that at the runners?

No, this a drinkable meal.
I'm selling them.

This is a special blend
of coffee, eggs, hash browns,

and a napkin.

So you don't have to wipe
your face after you're
done drinking it.

Max, people aren't
gonna stop running

to buy your cups of mud.

Oh Alex, you're obviously
not a business person.

They run by, grab the cup,

I write down their number
and bill them.

Well, good luck trying to track
down the runners from Kenya.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, hey, Alex. I've got the
Alien Language League members

set up at every mile
to cheer Justin on.

Well, up until mile four,
then we ran out of people.

Oh, my gosh.
It's Harper!

She's the lead runner.
She could win this thing.

Let's run to
the finish line.

- That's four miles.
- You're right.
Let's take a cab.

- Ooh, shotgun!
- Sure. It's a cab.

Hold on.

A 16 year-old girl with
three weeks of training
is going to win a marathon?

Does that seem
weird to you, Alex?

Oh, my gosh.
It's a miracle!

Go, Harper!
Slow down, but go!

Whoo-hoo! Harper,
we are so proud of you!

Where should we display
your winning trophy?

- In my room.
- Oh, don't be silly.

Other people should know
that a Russo won the marathon.

She's not a Russo.

Until one of you kids
wins a marathon, she is.

Ah, congratulations, Harper. You
know what I'm gonna do for you?

I'm going to make you my special
after-marathon-get-relaxed
smoothie.

Herbal tea, warm milk
and a jasmine-scented candle.

But Max, you're not allowed
to play with candles anymore.

Or a blender,
so shut up about it.

[groaning]

[panting]

Justin, you made it.
Where you been?

I was finishing the marathon.
Where were you?

I wore the alien mask,
like we discussed,

when I crossed the finish line,
and there was no one there
to take the picture.

Without the picture
it was just... stupid.

I'm sorry, dude.
I got distracted watching
Harper win the marathon.

It was amazing. She was like
my weird Uncle Charlie,
chasing after the garbage truck.

It was... a sight to see.

Wait a minute.
So you're saying that
Harper won the marathon?

Yeah, but don't worry, honey.

You still have all those
trophies from...

...that book stuff.

I didn't even see her.
It was like...

It was...

She must have passed me
when I was putting on the mask.

- Mmm.
- Yeah.

Well, I'm gonna go soak my feet,
try to save the toenails.

Alex, Harper, a word.

Look what I found in the
area-where-Alex-hides-things
area.

Well... it's time to move
that area again.

A page torn out of
The Cheaters' Book of Spells.

Daddy, I...

I think you and I should
probably talk about that alone.

Not that I know
what that is or...

It describes a spell to help
someone finish a marathon.

And now we need to talk about

not knowing what
"talking alone" means.

Oh, my gosh, Alex! You used
magic on me so I'd win?!

Not on you. Just your feet.

I'm sorry, Harper. I just
couldn't take it anymore,
your constant training,

and your... your healthy eating.
You said you were gonna keep
at it until you finished one.

You know, Alex, I thought
you learned your lesson

when we grounded you when
you did this to Harper at
the fifth-grade spelling bee.

Hey, I won that.

[gasps] Oh, my gosh.

My fifth grade
spelling bee trophy
is a total sham?

Well... well, Harper, you didn't
know about magic back then
so I couldn't tell you.

Are all of my achievements
a lie because of you?

No. Not all of them.

You... you dressed
yourself today.

Mr. Russo, may I please see
The Cheater's Book of Spells?

Sure.

"Win at jumping roping spell."

Guilty.

"Achieve black belt
in tae kwon do."

Guilty.

"Picked first for kickball"?!

I'm surprised you didn't
figure that one out on your own.

Well, that's just great, Alex.

Some of my biggest
achievements in life
are lies because of you.

Now, I wouldn't say

"picked first in kickball"

is a big achievement.

Well, I guess I wouldn't know.

[door closes]

We don't have to give back
the trophy, right?

So you're telling me

that Alex used magic so Harper
would win the marathon?

I can't believe
it's all been a lie.

How could Alex do this
to our daughter?

So the trophy's a fake?

This is the best news ever.

Well, Harper's pretty broken up
about it.

So what? Alex cheated.

She's a cheater!

I can still be the first Russo
to win an athletic trophy.

I'm gonna train hard,
eat right and win
the next marathon.

Yeah. I'll start as soon
as my toenails grow back.

See what you've done?

Not only have you hurt
Harper's feelings,

but you've sent your brother off
on an unrealistic goal.

Why? His toenails
will grow back.

But, I... I do
feel bad about Harper.

Well, I don't know how you're
going to make her feel better.

I mean it's not like
she can do all those
competitions over again.

Oh, shoot.

What's wrong?

I think I accidentally
gave her an idea.

Yes, you did!

OK.

And... open your eyes!

It's bad enough you've ruined
all my victories with magic,

and now you've made
a banner to remind me of it?

No, no, no, no, we're gonna
recreate those competitions,

starting with your fifth grade
spelling bee.

And I won't use magic this time,
so you can win fair and square.

How do I know you're not
using magic to make me
agree to do this?

Would it make you feel better if
I let you hold my wand?

Yes, it would.

No, no, take it back.
That thing gives me the creeps.

Don't be afraid, Finkle.

Your first word might be
"bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk"!

Are you calling the 18th Street
spelling bee champ a chicken?

If the egg fits, lay it.

Let's go, Carol!

OK. Are you ready
for your word, Max?

Max.

M-A-C-K-S.

Max.

That... that isn't your word.

That's your name.

And you misspelled it.

I should've asked
for a definition.

OK, Carol, your word is...

...hippopotomonstroses-
quipedaliophobia.

Could you use it
in a sentence?

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio-
phobia is an annoying word,

and I'm not gonna say it again.

That's the sentence.

Hippopotomonstroses-
quipedaliophobia.

H-I-P-P-O-P-O-T-O-M-O-N-S-T-R-O-
S-E-S-Q-U-I-P-E-D-A-L-I-O-
P-H-O-B-I-A.

Hippopotomonstroses-
quipedaliophobia.

Correct.

OK, Harper, your word is...

- ..."sergeant."
- Easy one.

Sergeant.

S-E-R-G-A-E-N-T.

Harper, that's not right.

- [audience groans]
- I'm sorry, you're out
of the competition.

[squeals, hooting]

Oh, cork it, Carol.

Way to make me
feel better, Alex.

No, no, no. It's not just
one and done.

We've got more.
Come on.

2225, 2226, 2227, 2...
Why did you stop?

Well, I could've gone longer,
but it looked like your dad
was going to pass out.

No, I'm fine.

What?

Is the room spinning?

How do you do this?
I think I need a watch.

Oh! Jump rope.
Justin, get in there.

This is perfect cardio
for the marathon.

Teddy bear, teddy bear,
turn around.

Teddy bear, teddy bear,
touch the ground.

- Teddy bear...
- Zeke!

- Do it in your head.
- Oh.

Sorry. All right.

And here we go and...

- Now.
- Zeke.

OK, we're gonna go again.
Coming up right now.

Here we go! OK.

And going again, right now. Go!

All right, go again,
right now. Quick, go!
Go quick! Now!

Zeke! OK...

You're messing up my timing.

- Hurry up. My arms are
getting dizzy.
- Dizzy...?

There, you missed.
Get out.

Whoo-hoo!

All right, Harper,
show her how it's done.

Daddy!

Huh? Is it Christmas?

- All right.
- All right, I just
gotta beat 2227.

People, grab a chair.
This is gonna take a while.

One. One...

And... one.

- Oops.
- Oh, thank you.

I'm sorry, Harper.

Thanks for coming out.

My pleasure. Although I wish
you would've let her go first.

It would've saved me about
three hours of jumping rope.

Oh, just take your victory
and leave, Connie!

Oh... well, this...

This is just like real life.

You can't win all of them,
right?

But there's no way that
you're gonna lose the next one.

[sighs]

[grunts] I wasn't ready.

Get up! We're not done here.

- But she's done.
- Hey!

In my day, the fight wasn't over
until you saw bone!

Give me my black belt.

Make me.

- Hey...!
- Just kidding.

You already made me.

Daddy, why did you give me
this idea? It's horrible.

That's not all that's horrible.

I'm pretty sure the old lady
ripped one.

All right. It was me.

It happens when I exert.

I'd help her up, but then
you'd get another one.

[groans]

Hey, Harper.

I made you a smoothie
to cheer you up.

- You all right?
- I'm OK. I mean,
it probably have felt good

to win at least
one of the rematches.

I'm so sorry, Harper.

Your friendship
means the world to me.

And I only used magic
because I wanted you
to feel good.

I mean, I wouldn't have
set up all these rematches

if I knew you were going
to lose all of them.

It's OK. I mean,
you don't have to apologize,
I learned something important.

It's better to lose and
know you lost on your own
than to cheat and win.

I also learned how to say
"hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio-
phobia."

I learned one thing.

When did you become the most
amazing person in my life?

The first day we met
in kindergarten,

when we had to take naps
in different rooms
because we snored.

[both snoring]

OK, so you're not gonna use
any more magic on me?

- No.
- Even if I ask for it?

Yep. But... but, OK, what
if we're like really old,

like 30, and... and then
our hair starts turning gray,

and our skin looks
like Dad's old wallet,

and our butts are dragging...

OK, OK, OK!

- We can use magic to fix that.
But nothing else.
- OK.

[sighs] It feels nice to have
all my victories and losses
in life be magic-free.

Well...

[both] Well, what?

Remember when we were kids
at Coney Island,

and we raced each
other to the hot dog stand?

So, wait, you used magic
to beat me?

- Well, then, why don't we
just do a rematch of that?
- Seriously?

We can just race to
the bus stop around the corner.

- All right, Mr. Russo,
you call "go."
- OK, you ready, girls?

Ready? Set. No magic!

- [grunts]
- Daddy!

I just really wanted
to tell you,

honey, a minute ago
I was proud of Harper,
but now I'm proud of you, too.

OK, thank you.

And I really just wanted
to make sure

that you didn't win the race.

So, go ahead.

Oh!

I'm sorry.

I just really wanted
to make sure that I
could be proud of you.

OK, go.

[Alex] Wait up, Harper.