Original subtitles

The best superhero crime fighter on the planet

is Mr. Spandex Avenger.

Ooh, cute tights. Oh, my gosh. I totally have the same pair.

Mr. Spandex Avenger isn't as tough as my robot.

Your robot has an ice cream tub head.

Aren't those the lights from Dad's bike?

Yeah, yeah. You watch.

My robot's gonna win the gold medal at the Robot Olympics.

Sorry, I'm late.

The group project presentation is due today:

Wall walking. Let's see it.

- You didn't work on your group project? - I wanted to.

But Alex wouldn't take time from Dean.

I like that Dean. Very nice boy.

Thank you, Dad. Besides, I made time.

- You were building a friend. - I have friends.

And they're all building robots, too.

Hey, we just doubled our clique. Sweet.

- Max? - Dad, can't talk now.

Look, working together as a team is extremely important.

We'll practice wall walking now. Alex, Justin, grab your wands,

and stand on either side of Max.

All right. Now, say "havity no gravity."

[both] Havity no gravity.

OK, Max. Walk up the wall.

[beeping]

Oh! Hey!

There's my emergency hamburger on the top shelf.

- Alex, Justin, concentrate. - Dean texted me back!

Your phone's interfering with my robot.

- Come on, don't... - Whoa!

...lose your concentration. Max, are you OK?

Nope! This is an emergency!

And I can fix it with my emergency burger.

Oh!

[groans]

♪ You know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ The end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ You might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you want in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪♪

Yo, Russo. How about a root beer?

No thanks, I'm working.

No, I mean how about some more root beer?

I'm not thirsty. [laughs]

I was trying to get you to come over there

so I could ask you if you'd like to go roller skating Friday night.

You mean like on a date? Our first date?

You want it to be our first date?

No, first dates are sappy.

But we have to go on a first date sometime.

Not if we call this fun little exchange our first date.

It was fun. I had a great time.

Thanks for walking me home.

So I hear you and Dean are going out on a date Friday night.

How did you possibly hear that? He just asked me a minute ago.

My robot's got hyper-hearing. I'm tapped into his signal.

Harper and I have been testing it out.

Well, your robot heard right. Dean and I are going skating.

Well, you'd better be careful with that one because Dean has a reputation.

He is dangerous! He has a key chain with a bottle opener on it!

He even uses it on twist-offs!

No, a reputation with girls. There's a corner of the roller rink known as Dean's Corner.

Where he takes girls to kiss them.

That's true, Alex! He's a kisser!

[whirring]

Change channel! Change channel!

I don't know, Alex! With Dean's reputation, I'd be nervous!

Oh, would you!

My goodness, Harper!

People make that stuff up. The point is I like him a lot

- and I'm gonna go skating with him. - Hey, Alex, good news.

Two couples are gonna come roller skating with us:

Joey and Kate and that Zeke guy really wants to come.

So I'm thinking we should find him a date.

- Maybe you could talk to your friend Harper. - [laughs] I'm right here.

- I'm her friend Harper. - Oh! Nice to meet you.

You're not as weird as everyone says.

Thank you. You are as scary as everyone says.

Thank you!

Great, so we're all going to the roller rink.

A group date? I thought this was gonna be an alone thing.

- What am I, 15? - Yeah, Alex. You are 15.

Would you just let me be mad?

Alex, I just got off the phone with your math teacher.

- You haven't turned in the last three assignments? - Really?

That's the first I've heard of this.

First you've heard of the assignments?

No, the first I've heard I'm in math. [laughs]

Do your homework.

Fine. I need your help with something.

I'm not doing your math homework.

No, no. It's about my first alone date with Dean.

It's gone from a twosome to a six-some. It's totally wrecked.

Oh, yeah! That happened to me when I was your age.

- But I eliminated the other couples. - Really? How? What did you do?

Well, I challenged the girls to a breakdance competition.

You should be good, beat them and humiliate them into not going.

Always start with the popping and the locking...

...before you go into the ground work.

- Like this. - OK. Wow!

That's good, Mom. I'll definitely do that.

Oh! I think something popped and something locked.

Yeah, Kate. I know you had your heart set on going skating,

but I hear Tears of Blood are playing an impromptu concert

in the park this Friday night.

T.O.B.'s playing? Their drummer recovered?

No! I'm trying to get rid of people

so I can go on my alone date with Dean.

Yep, they're totally playing.

I know they're your favorite band. That's why I'm telling you.

- They're my favorite band, too. Ask if I can go. - Stop it!

Um, so, um, we'll miss you at the roller rink.

OK, bye! [kisses] Ugh!

OK. One couple down, one to go.

- And try to keep up. - I'm keeping up.

I'm gonna go call the ticket broker right now.

There is no... Hey, why don't you give me the money.

I'll get you some tickets.

I can't believe it!

Somebody's been robbing delis in alphabetical order.

They're calling him

"The Alphabetical Order Deli Robber."

- What? - Yeah.

He started with the Aardvark Café, then he hit the Banana Hut,

and he's worked his way up to the Umbrella Stand.

- Umbrella Stand Deli? - It's food you can eat in the rain.

- Oh. - According to this article,

the robber's been stealing money out of tip jars.

So what? You don't give us the tips anyway, Dad.

And you know half that money's 'cause of these dimples right here.

Oh, well, he's also taking all the cupcakes.

Cupcakes? What a messed up world!

- What are the cops doing about it? - Nothing.

I guess they're too busy with criminals who steal big things like cars and jewels.

Are you kidding me?

I haven't used a car or a jewel in years,

but I eat a cupcake every morning.

Yeah, that's why your dentist sends me a Christmas gift every year.

Wait a minute.

If the Deli Robber just robbed the Umbrella Stand Deli,

then that would mean...

♪ A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P ♪

♪ Q R S T U... ♪♪V!

The Viking Deli is probably next.

- That's just down the block! - Yes, it is, Maxy.

And after the Viking Deli, then...

♪ A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P ♪

♪ Q R S T U V... ♪♪

W! Waverly Sub Station! That's us!

Oh, boy, if only The Spandex Avenger were real, he could stop the Deli Robber.

[Max] Introducing....

...Maximan!

Uh... Max, what's with the costume?

I'm not Max. I'm... Maximan!

Defender of the New York delis.

Dad told me the Deli Robber just robbed the Viking Deli.

And if I'm not mistaken, W's next.

I'm not mistaken, am I?

About the alphabet? No.

About everything else going on? Absolutely.

Hey, Max, I heard you're working on the alphabet. Good for you.

Dad, never mind about the alphabet. What I need to learn is a spell.

Something that would tie someone up. Like shoes.

Like a person-sized shoe that robs delis.

I got just the thing.

Here. Toss that rope in my direction,

and say "soap on a rope, soap fell off a rope,

rope shot out of my hand, rope tie up that man."

Great. Simple.

Soap on a rope, soap fell off the rope,

rope shot out of my hand, rope tie up that man.

- It didn't work. - That's because you need two other wizards to help you.

- Do you know what you need to do now, Max? - Yeah.

I need to learn a spell that makes two other wizards.

Alex, I know I'm your best friend and all, but there's no way I'm going to Skate Barn.

I hate that big skating chicken they have.

It's OK, Harper. I'm not making you go.

Oh, my gosh, thank you, Alex. You're such a good friend.

Yeah, you're totally not getting why I'm not making you go.

Oh, I know why. You want to be alone with Dean.

But I don't think that's a good idea.

Don't forget about the corner where he makes his move.

And I'm not talking about the spinning fly-bys.

Harper, that's just a rumor. It's not true.

Hey, Russo. Hey, what's-her-face.

I've got a nickname.

I'm thinking tonight I'll meet you at the roller rink in that corner by the lockers.

- [mouthing] - Oh, the corner.

All right.

Alex, hold this. That's "Dean's Corner."

Harper, there's no such thing as Dean's Corner.

It's purely coincidence that he asked me to meet him in a corner.

He asked me to meet him in the corner.

OK, Mom, I took your advice and I managed to get rid of all the other couples,

so now it's just me and Dean.

Ooh! Which pop and lock moves did you use?

The thing is now Dean wants to meet me in his kissing corner.

Oh, Alex, I'm very disappointed in you.

But I don't want to kiss him. I mean, I really like him.

It's just I don't want to be like all those other girls. What should I do?

Well, honey, this is what you need to remember:

If a boy really likes you, he'll like you for who you are.

And I think who you are is a very beautiful girl

who, you know, can sometimes be a little scary, you know.

And a little devious and sometimes very sneaky.

And would it kill you to clean a dish from time to time?

Mom! Mom, please stay on the subject!

This is about me going on a date, but not kissing.

Kissing? What's this I hear about kissing?

- Who are you kissing? - Dad, I'm not kissing anyone.

- I'm gonna go on my date with Dean. - I never cared for that boy.

What? Just yesterday you said, "I like that Dean. Nice boy."

Well, of course he was nice. He was just using me to get to you and I fell for it.

Darn Dean's winning smile and twinkling eyes.

[rock music plays]

Hi, Dean. Here you are.

Second date. Alone.

In the corner. Just like you said you'd be.

You're kind of just saying everything you're seeing. Is everything OK?

Yeah. I was just thinking that we go skating right away.

Because we're here. At the Skate Barn.

Second date. In the corner.

Alone when we should be skating.

[laughs] You're still doing it.

Yeah, you're right. Can we just skate?

- Absolutely. That's what I came for. - Great. Thank you.

[announcer] Hey, everybody, reverse skate.

- You really just want to skate? - Yeah. I love this song.

Me, too. Way more than standing in that corner.

[announcer] Sorry about the pile-up. Let's everybody reverse back!

Really? Are you kidding me?

Um, 'cause I kinda thought you'd want to do something else.

- Oh, I know what you mean. - You do?

- Bet I can lap you. - You don't.

What are you looking at, chicken?

OK, we've trained long and hard for this.

I've reprogrammed you with the latest in digital technology.

We're ready for the big synchronized robot event.

[dance music plays]

So you'll dance with a robot, but you won't help your own brother fight crime?

Yeah. Pretty much.

I got to get to the Robot Olympics. You're on your own.

No, Justin, I can't be.

Dad taught me a spell to tie someone up, but I need partners.

- You're going after the Deli Robber! - I'm gonna stop him, too.

- Spells or no spells. - No, Max, you can't go out there alone.

- You'll get hurt. - No. I'm gonna use

- my limited knowledge of tae kwon do. - You don't know tae kwon do.

That's what "limited" means.

Oh, look. We're near the locker corner.

Maybe we should stop there for awhile.

I mean, I know I said I didn't want to before.

But now that you don't want to, I kind of wondered why not.

- I don't need to stop. - Um, why not?

Why don't you want to stop in the corner?

You usually stop in the corner, right?

You stop there so often, I believe they call it Dean's Corner.

Oh, I get it.

You're tired since I lapped you. All right. Go rest up.

What? No! I...

The spinning fly-by? Chicken costume? Harper!

What are you doing here?

[coughing]

Feather.

I couldn't go on the skating date because I work here

and I was embarrassed to tell you.

You're embarrassed to tell me about a job where you wear a ridiculous costume?

You went to school yesterday dressed as a pilgrim.

And what are you doing in Dean's Corner?

Now that he doesn't want me in the corner, I want to be in it.

But suddenly I'm not good enough to kiss? Here he comes.

- Go! Go! - Stay out of that corner!

Um, Dean, can I talk to you?

There's a lot of rumors going around about you in this corner.

Oh, man. I was afraid this was gonna happen.

- I know I got this reputation. - And if it's true,

it kind of makes me feel like you don't want to kiss me.

Look, kissing is all some girls seem to care about.

- I was just hoping you weren't one of those girls. - I'm not.

That's not all I care about. I mean, that's all I cared about

the past hour, but what is up with you?

It's like you're... [groans]

OK.

Look, what happened with those girls

is after I'd kiss 'em, they'd run off and tell their friends.

They wouldn't even finish the date.

You think I'd kiss you and then take off?

- I don't know. - Well, I wouldn't.

I'd also play that claw machine where you win stuffed animals.

That's my favorite game. I won a caterpillar last week.

So, do you want to kiss me, or... Where did we land with all this?

- You're not gonna take off, right? - Absolutely not.

[Harper] Skateboard chicken dance time, everyone!

And I do mean everyone! Even you two, over in this corner!

You made me come over here!

[polka plays]

- That was nice. - Alex!

Quick! We have to get Max. He's gonna try and stop the Deli Robber!

- That's insane! - I know, but he won't listen to reason.

- He could get hurt. We have to help him. - [groans]

- What am I gonna do? - Come on, Alex. Is this the skateboard chicken dance?

Will you come on? Go!

- Max, wait! - Max!

- You can't stop the Deli Robber! - I got this figured out.

I'm gonna go over to Murrieta Clown Supply to buy 40,000 marbles

for 50 cents each. That's...

A million dollars?

Max, think about what Maximan would do.

He'd walk up that wall and lasso the culprit when he least expects it.

- [banging] - Here comes somebody!

OK, we'll do the wall walking spell to get you up there.

[both] Havity no gravity.

[man] Waverly Sub Station.

[cackling] I'm going in.

Soap on a rope, soap fell off the rope,

rope shot out of my hand, rope tie up that man!

[man grunting]

Ah!

- Nice work, Max! - You got him!

The jig's up, evil-doer.

You've stolen your last tip jar and cupcake.

Wait a minute.

How many people do we know go... [shouts]

[all] Dad!

- Dad. - I knew it.

Crime runs through these veins.

That explains my struggle to stay good.

Actually, Max, I think Dad made the whole thing up.

- There is no Deli Robber. - Curses! I took the bait.

I wanted you guys to work as a team.

Wait a minute. So I went through all this for nothing?

Not for nothing. You worked hard! You did a good job!

And I spent a whole month on that robot and then gave up the Robot Olympics?

Yes! For the team! Excellent!

And I left Dean after I promised I wouldn't.

What an admirable sacrifice. I'm proud of all three of you.

As long as you didn't kiss the boy, Alex.

Aw, Dad is so proud of you guys!

- Hi. - I'm leaving.

- You're like everyone else. - Will you give me another chance?

- Why should I? - Because I had to help my little brother, Max.

You met him last week or something. He decided that he wanted to be a superhero

and save the world, but it ended up being my dad. I was like, "My gosh..."

Yeah, you don't care about all this.

I brought quarters.

We can play the claw game for hours.

You're my kind of girl, Russo.

By the way, if you come to the Sub Station tomorrow,

you're gonna have to have exact change. Just saying.