All language subtitles for The Prank English

[soft music]

- If you want to get ahead
in life, listen to me.

Only two more months
till the school year's up.

But you do have
to get through midterms.

So buckle up.

[dramatic music]

[alarm beeping]

[exciting music]

- [groaning softly]

[neck cracking]

[languid flute music]

[alarm beeping]

- Ugh.

[exciting music resumes]

[notification chimes]

[languid flute music resumes]

[exciting music resumes]

[languid flute music resumes]

[groans]

[sniffs]

[gargling]

[gags softly]

[exciting music resumes]

- Dude,
what are you doing out here?

I told you a million times,

the door's unlocked,
and you can wait inside.

- You were asleep.
It's rude.

- What's rude
is you not trusting

that you could go in my house
while I'm sleeping.

I'm in your house all the time
when you don't even know,

and sometimes,
when you're not even home.

- Okay.
Can we just get going?

I need to focus today because
I'm getting my midterms back

and I don't want
to waste any more time

on this stupid conversation.

- Let's rock.

[upbeat music plays]

both: We fly.

[singing] Frock Swap
- [singing] Brrr-ah

both: Pineapple, hell no

If you really like it,
it's time to go

- Boots and cats
and boots and cats

And boots and cats
and boots and cats

Whee!
- I think it's safe to say

you're better than me at that.

- Thank you.
I appreciate that.

Dude, don't forget,

Frock Swap practice
after school.

- Oh, I can't.

I have to do my session
with Counselor Fragoulis.

- Dude, you're still
seeing Fragoulis?

- Yeah.

- You should
blow him off already.

Your dad died six months ago,

and he does nothing
to help you.

- I don't know.
But--but this--

this scholarship,
I am so close

to this Treehorn scholarship,
Tanner.

And the deadline's
at the end of the week.

They're gonna include
midterm grades.

So I got to make sure
everything's in line.

Okay, nothing can go wrong.

- Well--
- This is my only shot

at getting into
the same school as my dad.

- Yeah, or you can just
skip college altogether

and wait for climate change
to wipe us all out.

That's my plan.

- Hey, no.
Come on. Let's go.

- Yeah, get out of here.

No, I've got--
I've got English first period.

I think I'm gonna take a nap.

- All right.
Sweet dreams, sunshine.

- Thanks.

[bright music]

- [singing] I am the author

This is my book

- Hey, Mr. Carelli.

Here's a sneak peek
at the bake sale.

- Zucchini.
- Ms. Taylor,

please give this to your mom.

I'm so sorry
about what happened.

But the Cubs will be back
next season.

- That's right.

- [singing] I know you can
sense it

I wouldn't if I could

Hey, little girl,
sit next to me

- Oh, my God.

- Dude.

My coffee.

- What?

Oh, my God.

- [sighs]
- Oh, I--

I'll get the mop,
you get the sanitizer.

- Hey.
No, it's fine.

You're trying too hard, okay?

- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Yeah.

- 'Cause I--I can help.

I can--I can get these.

- I know you can, but I'm not
gonna let you do that,

'cause this is my job.

- You sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.

You want this paper?

- Oh, no, no.

I actually have a folder
just in case.

- Cool.
Okay, great.

- See I--
- Yeah, yeah.

No, that's fine.
- Okay. Thank you.

Bye-bye.
- No one walk here.

- Come on, Loretta.

What's with this
two-strip nonsense?

Can I please have another?

You got two perfectly edible
half nugs sitting right there.

You know you're gonna
throw it away

as soon as this period ends.

- You know the drill.

The school mandates
two chicken strips per meal.

If I give you extra,
I gotta give him extra,

I gotta give her extra,
I run out.

I gotta fill out paperwork.
All the paperwork.

Big inconvenience.

I don't want
to be inconvenienced.

- Come on. Don't be a cog
in the machine, Loretta.

- Move along.

- I'm not giving up on you,
Loretta.

- Move it! Go.
- Ah, fine.

- Stop calling me Loretta.

Not one word about the two.

[eerie music]

- 'Sup, loser?

Are you studying during lunch?

- Yeah.
Well, I have to catch up

on some
challenging physics homework

before Wheeler's class
next period.

- Mm.

What? It's sweet and salty.

It's umami.

- Oh, no.
I'm--I'm good.

- Fine.

Anyway,

this weekend,
I finish coding this program

that allows me
to make legit fake IDs.

And if we sell 'em
to enough freshmen,

we could get
a few hundred dollars closer

to funding our post-graduate
summer mini Frock Swap tour.

- Are we still doing that?
I was thinking I would take

some gen ed classes at
community college this summer.

- Ben, this is our dream.

To tour every stadium
and shitty community center

within a hundred miles
of this town.

Frock Swap, we fly.

It'd be our last hurrah
before you leave forever.

- You know what?
You're right.

I think I'm just drowning
in essays right now.

- Hey, guys.
- Hi, Philip.

- Oh, hey.

- School paper's out.
Did you read my story?

I blew the roof off
of West Greenview High's

very own SAT cheating scandal,

but it never
could have happened

without my personal
email hacker.

- I don't exist.

- And next, the subject that
no one wants to talk about.

A deep dive: missing students,

West Greenview High's
secret shame.

- Missing?
Like who?

- There's so many.
Remember?

Wayne Lambert.

- Wow.
It's been like two years.

They still haven't found him?

- Well, he might
be undercover.

CIA, real Jason Bourne shit.

Or he could have
been murdered.

- Dude, the guy's a druggie.
He probably OD'd in the woods

and they'll find his skeleton
in a beaver dam someday.

- Oh, that reminds me.

Wanna know who had sex
in a beaver dam

over winter break?

- Hell yeah.
- Not--not particularly.

[school bell ringing]

- I'm late for a class.

- Wheeler's?
Okay, well, go!

- Okay.
I'll see you later. Bye.

- Okay, bye.

- Listen up.

I will be handing back midterm
grades at the end of class.

- [gasps]
- For my first lesson today...

[balloon pops]
[all gasping]

[eerie music]

So when enough energy
is added to the material,

it rips apart the bonds...

[phone buzzing]
Of molecules.

Ms. Smythe,

are you under the impression
that you're invisible?

- No.
- Then stand.

Class, physics unlocks
the mysteries of the universe.

Without physics, there
would be no electromagnetism.

Your phone wouldn't exist.
Tell me.

Is your phone call more
important than the universe?

- Um, my dog's in surgery,

and I was just waiting
to hear back 'cause--

- Your dog can use the phone.
That's just remarkable.

Well, give Spot my best

on your way
to the principal's office.

- Her name is Peanut Butter.

- [sighs]
Back to the matter at hand.

You.

- Me?
- Up to the board.

I want you to solve
our equation.

Come on, come on.

So we can see force F

proportional
to the displacement, X,

where Kx is a constant.

Solve for X.

Oh, now,
you're not nervous, are you?

No.

- Uh--

[indistinct chatter]

- Wrong.
- Oh, okay.

Okay.

- Mr. Friedman, how long
have you been in this class?

- I--

I don't even know
what F means.

- Goodbye.
- Okay.

- Take out your textbooks,
everyone.

[exciting music]

[clock ticking]

I know you've all been
anticipating the results

of your midterm exams,
and you all wanna know

what your marks are.

Well, I'm afraid
that's not going to happen.

There was a cheater among us.

[students murmuring]
I can assume

that the guilty party
doesn't want to confess.

Of course not.

And until I find out
who it was,

you all fail.

- What?

[school bell ringing]

- [sighs]
Thank God.

- Um...

Mrs. Wheeler.

- Mr. Palmer.

- Can I ask you a question?

- And what would that be?

- Well, um...

- Are you coming or not?

[ominous music]

- Yeah.

[tea kettle whistling]

- You have something to say?

- I can't fail.
This grade is important.

There's a scholarship
on the line.

- I care a great deal
about your education

beyond my classroom.

- It's not fair.
You know, I study hard.

I try my best. You know that.

- "This isn't fair."
Let's examine that.

Is it fair for me not
to prepare my students

for life's realities?

So my hands are tied.

- Is there something I can do,
extra credit, manual labor?

I--
- [sighs]

- I could help you
find the cheater.

- Really?

You would betray
your fellow students?

- Yeah, I'll do anything.

- My class has meaning,
Mr. Palmer,

and I refuse to humor anyone
who thinks otherwise.

You may go now.

- But--

- Twerp.

- Dude, Principal Henderson
is not gonna

let Wheeler fail
20 AP students.

That'll just look bad
on his part.

You're the shiny pennies.

- You're right, but my
Treehorn application's due

next Friday
with midterm grades.

Okay, it's all over.

GPA destroyed,
scholarship gone.

- That sadistic asshole.

This is how she gets off.

- Might as well get a job
at the pig refinery

slaughtering hogs.

"Go mop the killing floor,"
they'll say.

"Make it shine," they'll say.

"You want to keep the blood?"

"Yes.
I want to keep the blood."

You want to know why?

You want to know
why I keep the blood?

It's because I turn
into a real weirdo.

That's what's gonna happen
to Ben Palmer.

- My God, this is worse
than I thought.

No, she's got to pay
for once in her life.

She deserves to look stupid.

- Yeah.
You know what?

You--she should pay.
You're right.

- There we go, my guy.
I love it when you get petty.

Give me what you got.
- Okay. What can we do?

Um, we can key her car.
- Oh, hell yeah.

- Okay, we should
egg her house.

- Yes.
- We could cover

those gloves she always wears
in dog shit.

- No, let's do human shit.
- No.

- I'll--I'll eat
some spicy nachos

and then take a huge dump
in her gloves.

- Good,
but maybe just dog shit.

- Human shit, bro.

Human shit.
- I don't know how you--

we could pull off
that fake-ass wig.

- I say we crack an egg
on her bald head.

- Yeah. But we could call her,
like, mean names and stuff.

- Yeah.
No, no, no. No.

That's--that's kid stuff.

This woman
endangered your future.

Get mean. Get dirty.

- Well, I mean
you're the computer genius.

There's all sorts
of ways you can ruin

someone's reputation online,
right?

- Now we're talking.

- We should get her fired.
- Hell yeah.

- She deserves this, right?

- Hey.
- Hi, Mom.

- Suspicious.

Did you guys eat?
- We ordered a pizza.

- And salad?
Please lie to me about salad.

- Uh, we had veggie pizza.

- Eh. Close enough.

Benji, thank you
for doing the dishes.

I would've gotten
to them eventually.

- You're welcome.
- Ugh.

- Aw, Julie,
will you please adopt me?

- Sure.
Why not?

Oh, wait,
you have your grandmother.

- But she smells
like cigarettes,

and you smell like cinnamon.

- Well, that's just
because I've been

hitting my cinnamon vape.

Just kidding, I don't vape,
and you shouldn't either.

Please don't vape.
Tell me you don't vape.

- We don't vape.
- All right.

Don't stay up too late.
And do your homework.

And listen to your teachers.

And don't look up weird porn
on the Internet.

It's not real.
- Mom, I love you.

Can you go?

- You remind me more and more
of your dad every day.

- Bye, Julie.

[soft dramatic music]

- I can't do this.

- Wait, what? Why?

- I was just blowing
off some steam.

Okay, just forget it.

- Come on, Ben.
Are you sure?

Fine. I gotta go.

[upbeat pop music]

- [singing] When I was
younger, I was insane for fame

In big letters up in lights,
I could see my name

Since my mouth could move,
I've had something to say

Now I'm a little older,
but I remain the same

You can't cheat, you can't
defeat, you can't beat me

What you do, I do it better,
don't compete with me

You can't cheat, you can't
defeat, you can't beat me

[instigative music]

[alarm beeping]

- [sighs]

- Morning.
- God!

Tanner,
what are you doing here?

- Your mom let me in.

You know, some of us
don't have boundary issues.

- Did you stay up all night
watching Twitch again?

- Uh--
[laughs]

Twitch. That's funny, Ben.

That's real good.

- How many energy drinks
have you had?

- I don't know.
Maybe lost count after five.

- Anyway, I slept on it.

You know,
I think I have a plan.

I'm gonna lobby
Counselor Fragoulis

to let me take
AP physics pass/fail,

and the grade won't
count towards my GPA.

And I don't know
if it'll work,

but fingers crossed, right?

- Yeah. Yeah.
That's--that's great.

That's just great.
But just hypothetically...

- Oh, yeah?
- You know how Wayne Lambert

went missing
and he probably just OD'd

somewhere in the woods
never to be found?

- Or, like, joined
an Amish CIA sleeper cell?

Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah. What if he was killed?

- What?
- And, uh,

what if hypothetically,
I don't know,

someone fabricated
evidence all pointing

to this butthole teacher
as suspect number one?

- Wait. Tanner, what?

- What if the same someone

that I had mentioned
previously

created
all these dummy accounts

and went to the shady
back channels

to signal boost
this intricate web uncovering

West Greenview's
very own conspiracy theory

with Wayne and Wheeler
in the center of it?

- You're trying
to frame Wheeler for murder?

- Yeah. A little bit.
- That's a bad idea.

- No, no, no.
Hear me out.

All right, you know how
rumors start at our school.

- Yeah.
- By second period, everyone--

everyone will think
that Wheeler's a murderer.

- Exactly.
- But if anyone really

looked into it
and saw the actual facts,

they'll realize that it's all
made up and they'll debunk it,

and the whole school will just
move on to the next scandal.

- No.
- And then in the meantime,

Wheeler will look
like a damn fool

and it'll be hilarious.

- No, absolutely not.
- Just trust me.

Okay?
By the end of the school day,

people will be talking
about a million other things.

This won't be on their mind.

- Okay.
Isn't this, like, illegal?

- All right.
Well, then I'm sorry.

- I appreciate
you having my back.

Okay. But this is just a lot.

- No, I'm sorry, because
I just did it an hour ago.

- What?
- Yeah.

- No.
- Yeah.

- Shut it down.
- I can't.

- Well, then delete it.
- I can't.

- What do you mean? Why?
- It's definitely too late.

- You made it. Delete it.

- The woman's already a meme.

[ominous music]

- Good morning, Helen.

- Principal Henderson.

- I see you got
the first spot again.

- Yes, I did.

- This really should
be the Principal's spot.

After all, I--I am in charge.

- Yes, you are,

just like Principal Westin
before you

and Lopez and Morgan
and Cyrus and, uh,

what was his name?

Yes, Higgins.

Oh, you must have
left home in a rush.

Your tie is crooked.

- Well, have a good day,
Mrs. Wheeler.

- The early bird
catches the worm.

- Do you?
[chuckling and muttering]

[on TV]
- When we come back,

the county jabberwocky
recitation contest

'twas brillig, and little
Mo Baruch was the winner.

- Morning.

- Oh, uh, Mrs. Wheeler,
sorry to bother you,

but my students keep stealing
my dry erase markers.

I was hoping you could come by
and tell 'em to stop.

- Get outta here.

And, uh,

there are spitballs
in your hair.

[scoffs]

Five across is San Juan.

Slouching.

- Let me get that for you.

- Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Wheeler.

What happened
in AP physics yesterday?

Are you really gonna fail
20 students?

- Well, if I allow a cheater
to succeed,

I have failed.

What other options do I have?
Right?

- Can you do that?

- Watch me.

God, this is crappy coffee.

- I made it.
- You what?

- I hate it.

Yeah. I hate it.

- Jesus.

- I'm going to prison.
- Relax.

There's no way they could
trace it back to us.

I covered our tracks.

You know, I'm actually
pretty good at this stuff.

- I'm a bad person, a really
bad person with bad ideas

who just leads to bad things.

- Did you see
Kirsten got injured?

They said he's gonna
be out all season.

- I flushed him out
with the flashbang

and then I no-scoped him
in the dick.

It was very gratifying.

- I watched the replay
on her Twitch.

She no-scoped me
right in the dick.

I love her so much.

- I--

I don't understand.

- I guess the meme
didn't take off.

No one's talking about it.

- These assholes
should have eaten it right up.

I don't get it.
- No. It's okay.

I'm glad you had my back
regardless.

- It should have worked.

- This is great.

- Strips, please.
- No chicken today.

It's spaghetti.

- Loretta,
you're breaking my heart.

Today of all days

I really needed
some deep poultry healing.

- What?

You're not gonna muscle me
for extra garlic bread?

- Not today.
- You're slipping.

Did somebody piss
in your Cap'n Crunch?

- Good question.
- I'll kill 'em.

Hang in there.
- Thanks.

- I know, vegetarian.

- So I convinced
Coach Ledbetter

to let Frock Swap open for
the soccer game this Saturday.

- Those are at, like,
6:00 a.m.

- Think of it as, like,
a rehearsal for the mini-tour.

Right?

You know, I think he may have
gotten the impression

that we're gonna sing
the national anthem,

so I guess we'll work
that in somehow.

Come on, we can make
Frock Swap stickers.

- Yeah. I guess.
- Is this even real?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

- Should we wear
the same outfit?

I feel like we should wear
the same outfit,

but that's too '90s, right?

Yeah.
Yeah, we have to make sure

we bring all the equipment,
right.

The--the--
the long extension cords.

- Check your phone right now.

Oh--

[all speaking at once]

- You knew!
- Told you!

- Truth bomb.
- Shut up for one second.

- Did you guys hear?

Turns out Wayne Lambert
was murdered by Mrs. Wheeler.

This is huge.

- [huffs]

No.
- Yes.

It worked.

- Hey, guys, Philip here.

I'm just digging into all
of the evidence now.

There's all these photos
of Wayne and Wheeler together

and phone records and letters,
even videos.

Check it.

It's hard to believe,
but the photos don't even lie.

Whoever leaked them,
thank you.

Apparently,
they were involved,

but whatever, it's fine.

I don't judge.

I mean, look at the president
of France and his wife.

There's a 25-year age gap.

But in this case,
it's a little bit different

because she did want
to eat him.

The evidence, it's shocking.

- Yes.
No way.

- "Sweatpants, hair tied,
chilling with no makeup on.

"That's when
you're the prettiest.

"I hope that you don't
take it wrong.

- Wayne Lambert wrote that?

- That's Drake.

- Sir Francis Drake
the explorer wrote that?

- Wayne Lambert,

our relationship
didn't work out.

I hate you and you gotta die.

Don't show anyone this video.

- You deepfaked them?

Everyone's gonna
recognize your voice.

- Nah, I fooled them.
[laughs]

- Eventually, the relationship
got pretty toxic,

and it was probably
a crime of passion.

I'm just shocked
nobody saw them.

- Thank you,
Internet rumor mill.

I lit the fuse
and now we watch Wheeler burn.

- No.

- You're a bad kisser.

And your breath smells
like cat shit.

- Mrs. Wheeler deserves

whatever she has coming
for her.

- Newton's law
of cooling states...

that the rate at which
convection cools a hot object

is proportional
to the temperature difference

between the hot object
and the ambient temperature.

So even in chaos,
there's order.

For our lab today...
- [coughing]

I will demonstrate--
- [coughing] Murderer.

- Once at a light boil,

you place a thermometer
inside the water.

And then I will add
a zinc cylinder

to the hot water and record
the temperature change.

- [coughing]
Wayne Lambert.

[all tittering]

- Who said that?

Seems to me someone is dying
for a week's suspension.

So the next person who opens
their mouth gets one.

You will respect me

and this class.

All right.

You will find an equilibrium
has been reached.

- Justice for Wayne.
- What?

- Where is Wayne?
- Where is Wayne?

- Yeah. Yeah!
Where's Wayne?

- We just want to know.
And we deserve answers, okay?

- Yeah.
- Where's Wayne?

- Where's Wayne?
- That's enough.

- We all have to--

- Where was I?
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

So you will find--
you will find--

- [chanting]
Where's Wayne?

- [chanting]
Where's Wayne?

all: Where's Wayne?
Where's Wayne? Where's Wayne?

Where's Wayne?
Where's Wayne? Where's Wayne?

Where's Wayne? Where's Wayne?
Where's Wayne? Where's Wayne?

Where's Wayne? Where's Wayne?

[dramatic music]

- Oh, no! I even heard
about it in fifth period.

- Yeah,
it was all over school.

Okay, It was great.
She was so mad.

You should have seen her face.

Like, she couldn't
do anything about it.

- We'll be at Saturday's
school board meeting

where we will demand an end
to plastics on campus.

Glass only.

Plus, everyone's talking
about how Sherman Banks

ripped his pants in calculus.

- He went up to the board
and he bent over

to grab a marker, and rip!

And the worst part is

he picked today
to go commando--

full crack!

- It--it worked.

I mean, no one's talking
about Wheeler anymore.

- Sunrise, sunset,
as is the way.

- You beautiful degenerate.

Your plan went off
without a hitch.

- Just goes to show that you
should never doubt me ever.

The news cycle
in high school is fast.

- Yeah. Poor Sherman.

- Eh. He knew the risks.

[eerie music]

[TV droning]

[phone ringing]

- Today is Toshanda Walls
versus Jamie Walls.

- Yo.
- Turn on Channel 4 News

right now.

- The allegations came
to light from online sources.

- Oh, dude.
That makes sense.

My phone's been blowing up
with notifications.

- Public outcry to reopen...
- Whoa.

- The missing person's case
of Wayne Lambert.

- It's being shared
like crazy.

- Yeah, I know.
It's everywhere.

Okay, real news sites
are running it,

like actual news sites.

- Has been a respected physics
teacher in Greenview County

for a number of decades,

even though
she had no respect for me.

- Boomers can't tell
it's fake.

We've officially
entered phase two.

- Phase two? Tanner,
what the hell is phase two?

- Well, you know,
the phase after phase one.

- Wh--what?
- Don't worry about it, okay?

It's all going
according to plan.

Just trust me.
- Okay, let's talk tomorrow.

Okay?
- All right. See ya.

- It's kind of wild
to believe,

but I sure believe it.

When we come back,
how the county's pumpkin--

- Ah, good morning, my guy.

- Good morning? Hey.

Hey. Tanner, Hey!
- What?

- Hey, was this part
of your plan?

- Mrs. Wheeler,
we'd love a statement.

Why did you do it?

- Oh, is that
Wheeler's husband?

Hate to say it,
but she bagged a silver fox.

- Okay.
What is going on, Tanner?

What is phase two?
- All right.

Don't get mad at me, okay?

But I knew
this was gonna happen.

I mean, adults are gullible.
They're like sheep.

- Okay.
We humiliated Wheeler.

We got what we wanted, right?

- No.
We didn't get what we want.

She failed you
when you did nothing wrong.

This isn't over
until she gets fired.

- Fired?
Dude, this is dangerous.

We have to stop.

- Getting her fired
was your idea.

The train
has left the station.

Now we just watch it
run its course.

I designed this,
and I wanna see this live.

- Li--
[car honking]

- You're listening
to Crazy Carla and The Mouth.

- The Mouth.

- Did you go
to West Greenview High, Mouth?

- There's only one high school
in this town, Carla.

- I had Mrs. Wheeler
when I was at West Greenview.

Now, I'm not gonna make
unfounded accusations,

but I can say
she's an evil ghoul

who murders children
and haunts dreams.

[monstrous laughter]

- We're gonna take the 34th &
- Whoo-hoo.

caller who has
a Wheeler murder story

and give 'em two front
row tickets to Monster Jam.

[airhorns blast]

- [imitating air horn]
Dude, you should call.

You could get us
some free tickets.

- No.
I can't believe people think

she murders children, Tanner.

- No one really thinks
she murdered children.

- It's on the radio.
Everyone listens to the radio.

- No one listens to the radio.
It's all good.

[tires screeching]

- Did you ever suspect your
teacher could be a killer?

- Oh, my God.
- What?

- She was always going, like,

"Learn the law of motion,
or I'm gonna murder you."

Like, always saying stuff
like that, right?

- Does anyone else have
a comment?

- I'm surprised this news
story actually caught on.

I mean, we've known
about this for years.

- #WheresWayne.

- #BelieveKids.

- Why is he hashtagging?

- She also wears these really
thick black leather gloves.

And I don't think anyone's
ever seen her take them off.

I've heard it's because
she got a hand transplant

from a really bad car accident

and the hands were
from a serial killer.

[all exclaiming, gasping]

- No way.
- No way.

[TV droning]

- Chilling.

- They can't put it
on the news if it's not true.

- I mean, she's a hard ass,

but there's just not
enough evidence.

- Where Wayne Lambert's
childhood scout master--

- You know?
- Evidence can be erased,

like in JFK.

- Whoa.
- Where's the evidence?

- Where is the evidence?
- They don't know.

They never even had his body.

You know, I heard
they put stuff in the water.

- You know
that there are several chips

inside of us following us.

- Yeah.

- What are your thoughts
on 9/11?

- I didn't like it.

- Whoa. I didn't either.

- You know, her husband
is the sweetest guy ever.

But not her.

She's a nightmare.

- What?
I'll have to call you back.

- This is out of hand.
Some sick joke.

Clearly, it's the work
of disgruntled students.

We have to find them
and expel them.

- Have you seen the news?

This does not look good,
Helen.

Lots of bad press
for the school.

Maybe it'd be easier to just

let the whole thing blow over.

Take a few days off.

You do have four decades
of sick leave built up.

- I am not gonna take
a leave of absence

because some degenerate
thinks it's funny

to float around
some false accusations

that you are too cowardly
to address.

- What do you expect me to do?

The school board is launching

a full-fledged
internal investigation.

- Listen, you low-life
pretend academic insect.

I have worked
my entire career--

that's 40 years--
and now you are telling me

that, uh, that doesn't matter
anymore because of what?

Some lies?

[school bell rings]

I don't have time for this.

Someone in this school,
maybe even in this classroom,

has started a rumor about me.

This absurd lie has begun
to affect my life

both professionally
and personally.

So I am forced to confront it.

It is merely an attempt
to hurt me

and damage a reputation

that I have
spent decades cultivating.

I will find
the ones responsible,

and I will end it.

This is the last I will speak
on this matter.

Understood?

- Yes.

- Mr. Palmer...

[all gasping]

Did you have
something to share?

- N--no.
No, I was--

I was actually agreeing
with you.

Those photos look really fake.

- Are you mocking me,
Mr. Palmer?

- No. No, not at all.

Um, I actually believe you.
I--I know you're innocent.

- This is serious, Mr. Palmer.
Some bells can't be unrung.

- I know.
- Oh, really?

Do you know that?
There are people out there

who legitimately believe that
I ended this young man's life.

There's a version
of this story

where I skin
this poor boy alive.

I cooked him and ate him.

Another says that I kept
the head in a jar as a trophy.

Does any of this
sound funny to you?

- No.
- And if people think

that I am capable
of such heinous crimes,

what do they think
I would do to students

who mock and belittle me?

What would I,
an apparent murderer,

do to you, Mr. Palmer?

Hmm?

- Nothing,
because you're not a murderer.

- Use your imagination.

I mean, would it be
a strangulation, a stabbing?

Oh, would I use my car?

There are
so many possibilities.

Or...

I would burn out
your eye sockets

And I would increase
the heat very slowly

so that your brain
would boil in your skull.

Hey, that's thermodynamics.

You think I would do
something like that?

Well, you're right.

I'm not a monster.

I'll just stick to teaching.

I would burn out
your eye sockets,

burn out your eye sockets,
burn out your eye sockets.

- I mean, it definitely
makes her look more guilty.

Also--[laughs]

All right, check this out.

- It's been shared
40,000 times.

- Isn't that sick?
- No. No.

- I mean, boomers are just
so, so, so very dumb

and afraid of everything, so--

- They're going
to execute a teacher

that we framed
for an imaginary murder.

Okay, her ghost
will kill me and then--

and then I'll be stuck with
her in the afterlife forever.

- Oh, come on.
- That's what's gonna happen.

- No, no, no.
- Yes, that's--

- It's just social media
and the local news.

The police are not gonna
get involved.

All right?
There's no way they're gonna--

- We gotta go.
- What's happening?

- What--what's going on?
- Hey, you!

- What's going on?

- The police are
getting involved in this.

- [laughing]
- No, no, no, no.

- I refuse.

I refuse to give validity
to this ridiculous situation.

- We don't have to make
this difficult, but we will.

- Oh, get outta my way.
I'm going home.

- Ma'am.
- Oh. Oh. Oh!

- All right. All right.
I got it.

Look, ma'am, I'm sorry.

Listen,
this is what's happening.

You're coming downtown
with us today.

Now, you can either
make a scene

for all of your students
to see...

Or you can come
with me quietly.

I won't even use the cuffs.
How about that?

- I have to lock my office.

- Yeah, by all means.

Was that powerful?

- We don't have
to call for backup.

I think we got this.

[indistinct chatter]

- You know what?
Before we get out there--

[all cheering and chattering]

- You said you wouldn't.

- I did.
I did, and I lied to you.

[all heckling]

- Put her away.

[all cheering]

- I had Wheeler as a kid, so
this is a big moment for me.

- Are you sure about this?

- We delete
everything you can,

and then we post
a full confession, okay?

- But nothing even
really happened.

She's not gonna get fired.
It was just a joke.

- Wheeler is in
police custody, Tanner.

- I can't believe I did
all this in two days.

Can you imagine if I had
more time and resources?

I wonder if I could
hack an electrical grid.

- Okay, focus.
- It's the Internet, Ben.

All right, you can't
really get rid of anything.

I mean,
I can upload the digital trail

and original photos
through a dummy account,

re-routing it
so our names aren't attached.

I mean, are you positive?

- Do it.

- [breathes deeply]

You were so beautiful,
but too powerful

for this dumb, dumb,
super dumb world.

And I created you and now
I have to destroy you.

I'm so sorry.
Just close your eyes

and I'll make it fast.

- Do it.
- Okay. Okay.

Just have some reverence.

[winces]

There,

the deed is done.

- Good. Whew.

- Wanna watch Twitch?

- Sure.
- All right.

[instigative music]

- Reporting live

from West Greenview County
police station.

A small group
of protestors has formed

as local high school teacher,
Helen Wheeler,

leaves the Greenview County
police station.

Last night,
the Twitter account

that started the whole
investigation appeared

to be hacked,
posting doctored photos

of Helen's presumed innocence.

Journalists are supposed
to remain objective,

but as a former student
of Wheeler's,

I believe with all my heart

that she is a filthy,
filthy murderer.

Back to you in the studio.

- Thank you very much, Debbie.
- God.

- I also had Mrs. Wheeler.

[phone ringing]

- Yo.
- You seeing this?

- An alleged murderer
or these people?

But we do know who's louder.

- No one believes us.
- Oh, yeah.

I've completely lost control
of the narrative.

- What are we gonna do?
- Dude,

I was gonna ask you that.

- We'll talk about it
at school, okay?

Just don't do anything stupid.

- Right. See ya.

- Hey, you.

- Hi.
- You good?

- Yeah.
Doing--doing great.

- Ben,

you can tell me anything,
you know.

I mean, be careful,
'cause I am wearing a wire.

- Um, actually,
there was one thing--

- Oh, my God.

This is insane
what is happening to her.

- Yeah.

- I had Wheeler
at West Greenview too.

She was tough then.
I'm sure she's tough now.

But she's not a murderer.

This seems like a stupid
senior prank to me.

Some kids, man,
they just take it too far.

- More on that tonight
at seven.

- Mom, I--I got to go.

- Okay.
- Love you.

- Love you.
- Bye.

- Bye.

[ominous music]

- Shit.

Burn out your eye sockets.
- [chuckling]

- Burn out your eye sockets.
Burn out your eye sockets.

[video continues]

- Oh.

Please, have a seat.

You must be exhausted.

How are you holding up?

- I'm fine.

- Uh-huh. The big house.

Jail.

- They will do
their investigation.

They will clear me
of all charges.

And then it will be all over.

- Hmm.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat this,
Helen.

Um--

oh, hard candy?

- No.
- Oh.

The board had an emergency
meeting last night,

and they were very passionate.

They were not too jazzed
that one of our teachers

is the suspect
in a murder investigation.

- I am innocent.

- Helen.
- I have done nothing

but mold young minds
my entire adult life.

- I know that.
Who knows that more than me?

But the board.

It's time to pass the torch.

- You can't force me
into retirement.

- Helen,
I'm asking as a friend.

Well, I'm not really asking.

The board wants me
to let you go

and to gut the science program
until the end of the semester.

The show choir wants
new risers

and a smoke machine,

and they won't stop
until they get it.

Now, they are
the real bad guys here.

Show choir, menace.

- I'll tell you what.

I'll do what you asked before.

I will take a leave of absence
until it blows over.

- It's too late for that.

- Teaching is my life.

Don't take it away from me.

- My hands are tied.

The board.

Please,
have a root beer barrel.

As many as you like.

I insist.

[eerie music]

- Remember when we were
in second grade

and Jamie Mitchell pushed me
off that swing?

And I said
I wish she would die,

and then her dog
got hit by that bus?

- Yeah, we sent her flowers

and offered to take care
of her funeral arrangements.

- Like, I knew that my wish
didn't send that bus

to kill her poor little dog,
but I don't know.

I just couldn't help
but shake the feeling

that I was responsible,
you know?

- Didn't you offer to, like,

be her dog
until her grief passed?

- It was actually kind of fun.

- Yeah. It was weird.

- We have to tell everyone
that it was us.

- Ben, the damage
has been done.

You--you can't unopen
the open box.

- Sure, you can.
You just close it.

They open and close.
- No, no.

- That's how boxes work.
- It's already open.

It's already open.
- No, you close it.

- No--yeah, then you--
it's already open.

- What we did was wrong.
Okay?

We had an old lady fired
from her job.

- No. She's been terrorizing
students for years.

All right,
she's had it coming.

- Well, I know,
but I just can't help

but think
of Jamie Mitchell's dog, okay?

- It's over.

Okay?

And confessing now
changes nothing.

- Hey, whatever
after-school special

you two are whining over,
can it be over now?

I gotta mop.

- Sure.
- Hey, fast.

Come on.
I don't get paid by the hour.

Leave your Pokémon cards.
Let's go.

- Have a great day, Loretta.

- Stop sucking up.

- No way.
- No way.

- Okay, students.

Quiet down, please.

I'm sure you've all heard
by now

that Mrs. Wheeler
is no longer teaching here.

[quiet oohing]

Yes?
- Is it true she cried

when you fired her?

- No comment.

- Uh, Principle Henderson,
could you fire Mr. Garner too?

He's also a jerk.

[laughter]

- Another excellent question.

No, I cannot.

Yes?
- Yeah.

Do we still have to take
the test next week?

With all this murder stuff,
I'm emotionally unprepared.

- So many good questions.
Such a smartass.

Listen, I don't want
all of this unpleasantness

to affect our overall GPA.

So I've decided
to wipe the slate clean.

[all cheering]

But one thing, I do expect
you all to study, though.

Until we find a substitute,
I will be teaching this class.

Now, my knowledge
of physics is, um,

somewhat, um, limited.

But the school does have
an expansive library of VHS.

So today we will be watching

the 1997 Robin Williams
classic, "Flubber."

But I have to find the TV.

Oh, that's locked. Okay.

[laughs]
Oh, dear.

Ah! And here we are.

I have the VHS
right on my desk.

We'll be watching it
momentarily.

In the DVD--

in the DVD.

Oh, find it on YouTube.
[school bell ringing]

Or over the weekend. Whatever.

[instigative music]

- We got this.
- Game starts in ten minutes.

You're gonna sing
the National Anthem, right?

both: Right.

- Okay.

- Um.

Did you get
the extension cord?

- Shit.
It's in my car.

- Well, we can go get it,
right?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Come on, guys,

you gotta get a move on.

The soccer fans are waiting.

- Oh, okay. Then we'll--
then we'll just project.

We'll project.
Yeah, we got this.

- Yeah. Yeah, okay.
- We got this.

Come on. Come on.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- All right. Yeah.

both: We fly.

- Come on.
Let's do this thing.

- All right, Tad Galkins

soccer/frisbee golf
Memorial Field!

Nothing will prepare you
for...

- Frock Swap!

both: Pineapple, hell no

If you really like it,
it's time to go

[silence]

Whoa, what?
Pineapple, oh, no

If you really like it

[silence]

Hell no, if you really
like it, it's time to go

Pineapple, hell no

If you really like it,
it's time to go

- What you doing today?

[silence]

- Whoop!
- Should we get some pizza?

- Brrr-ah!
- Sure.

Let's get some pizza.
- Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew--

- I'm calling up.

[phones buzzing and chiming]

[indistinct chatter]

- Mushrooms.
And some pineapple too, maybe.

I don't know.
- Maybe?

[indistinct chatter]
- Yeah, maybe.

Maybe that's what I want.
Yeah!

Pineapple, hell no,
if you really--

- Hey, cut the music.
- If you really--

what, what, what?

- What's going on?

- Mrs. Wheeler's husband died.

- Wow, um--
- Breaking news.

Accused murder suspect
Helen Wheeler's husband,

George Wheeler, has just died.

No word yet on cause of death,
but things just seem

to get curiouser and curiouser
for Mrs. Helen Wheeler.

- Ladies and gentlemen.
- Wait.

- It's not on.

- No, it doesn't work.
- No, it's not on.

- Ladies and gentlemen...
- It's not--

- I think it is appropriate
that we take a moment

of silence in remembrance
of George Wheeler.

That's enough. Okay, game on!

Let's do this.
- Um--

- I mean,
our performance wasn't so bad.

Come on.
- Yeah.

The ref liked it, Tanner.

- He's cool.
He does the worm.

- Sure.

- Look, I know what you're
worried about, okay?

And you don't gotta
stress out about that.

It's just some weird,
crappy coincidence.

- No.

I'm gonna tell Wheeler
everything.

- No, man.
We can't.

Like, seriously,
don't worry about it.

It's not your fault.
Wheeler's in the wrong here.

In fact, it might
have been karma, you know?

'Cause Wheeler failed you
for no reason.

And that's effed up.
She shouldn't have done that.

- Tanner, I--
- Am I right?

You're fine.
- I cheated on the test.

- What?

- I'm the cheater. Okay?

My scholarship
was riding on it.

My whole life banked on it.

I needed an A on my midterms,
so I cheated.

- Why didn't you just
tell me that, bro?

- You wouldn't understand.

- Bro, it's not
about the cheating.

It's about the fact
that you lied to me

and I'm your best friend,
dude.

I went to war for you.

- And I didn't ask you to.

- You didn't ask me to?
- No.

- Dude, you're always
like this.

You always make me
do the dirty work for you.

And you used me, bro.

- Oh, I used you?
- Yeah, you used me,

'cause you're too perfect
to do anything for yourself.

- Tanner, Miss "Oh,
I'm too cool for school.

"I could go
to any college I want.

"I'm so smart.
But you know what?

"I'm so scared of failure
that I don't even try.

Okay, I sit on my ass all day
and wait--"

- I just sit on my ass all day
and do nothing?

Bro, look
at what I did for you.

- Yeah,
and look where are now.

- For you.
- Okay, I tell you,

this is a bad idea.

"Let's not do this.
Let's not do this."

But what do you do?

You do it anyway. Okay?

Because you care more

about having fun than--
than being safe,

than being careful
and planning

shit out for your future.

Okay, I wanna go places.
- I get that...

- I wanna go to college.
- You didn't wanna do that.

- I wanna do what my dad would
be happy about, okay?

But all you wanna do
is stay here

and I can't do that forever,
Tanner.

We can't do this
"we fly" shit forever.

- Dude, we spent our whole
lives doing Frock Swap.

- We're not fucking 12,
Tanner.

[soft dramatic music]

- You know what?

- What?

- You're the shittiest friend
in the whole world.

- Oh, I'm a shitty friend?

- This is what I get
for trying to help you.

You don't even say thank you.

You're such
a selfish asshole, man.

- Me?
- Yes, you're making this

whole thing about you.

I was doing this because
I was trying to help you.

- Oh, and look
where it got us.

- Well, you know what?
If you told me the truth,

maybe this wouldn't
have happened.

- Okay, I'm done, Tanner.

- No, I'm done first.

Selfish prick.

- Hey, did you eat?

- Not hungry.

- Where's Tanner?

- I don't want to talk
about it.

- Understood.

Ben, things happen.

Apologies always make me
feel better.

Hey, bring flowers.

Women like flowers.

[tense music]

- What do you want?

- I'm so sorry
about your husband.

- Is that it?

- Can I talk to you?

[door creaks open]

[eerie music]

Wow.

- What did you expect?

- I--I don't know
what I was expecting.

- Sit.

- Your gloves.

- Oh, yes.
Keeps the students guessing,

and I love it
when they squirm.

[laughs]

So I've had hundreds
of students in my life,

but this is the first time
I've ever had one in my house.

- That's awful.

- Oh, no, no, no, no.
I understand.

You know, they all think
I'm a monster

or a villain or a dragon.

I get it.

- Wow. Um...

You know, I'm--I'm really
sorry you can't teach anymore.

- I appreciate that.

I like you.

- Me? I--

- You know, you're one
of my favorites, Mr. Palmer.

That's why I was
so tough on you.

I needed to know whether
you were gonna bend or break.

- Wow. Um...

- You have to understand that
the thrill of teaching for me

is pushing my students
to their limits

to see how far they will go.

I mean, some rise
to the challenges that I pose,

and others disappear.

- So what are you gonna
do now?

- Well, I spent
every summer vacation

on the back
of George's motorcycle

crisscrossing the country.

Actually, it would
be a nice way to retire,

except that, uh...

I can't do that anymore.

- Mrs. Wheeler, I--
I have something to tell you.

- I know.
- You know?

- You are the cheater.

- I am.

Wait, how--how'd you know?

- Janitor Joe found
a cheat sheet in the trash

in a folder that was marked
"Just in case."

You really do
back up everything.

- There's actually something
else I need to tell you.

[phone ringing]
- Oh.

That must be the mortuary.

I'll be right back.

- Sure.

Helen Wheeler,
you are full of surprises.

Ugh!

Shoot.

[ominous music]

[huffs]

- Ben?

Would you like some lemonade?

- Wait, what?

It's cold.

[dramatic music]

- Ben?

[toilet flushes]

- Sorry.
I was in the restroom.

I couldn't hear you.

- Ice-cold lemonade.

- You know,
I really should get going.

It's almost dinnertime.

- It's 3:00 PM.

- And I eat early.

- Mm-hmm.

- Thank you.

[door shuts]

[knocking frantically]

- All right, I'm coming.

Jesus Christ.

- Wheeler's a murderer,
like a real murderer for real.

- God. What the hell?

- Okay, I found Wayne
Lambert's head in her house.

- Oh, just the head?
- Yes.

- Just the head?
- Yes.

- No body.
Just the head.

- Tanner, I'm not joking.

Please.

- I knew it.
You know what?

I knew it, like,
deep down, I knew it.

Let's go call the cops.
Let's go.

- What?
- Right now.

Let's go call the cops.

[phone ringing]

- Greenview County PD.

- I would like
to report a murder.

Helen Wheeler
killed Wayne Lambert.

His head is in her house.

- Penal code 148.5
makes it illegal

to falsify a police report,

punishable by up
to six months in jail.

If that sounds
comfortable to you.

- No, I'm not lying.

My friend saw the head.
- Yeah. Yeah. It's true.

It's Wayne Lambert.
His head is in her house.

- Oh, wow. Oof.
That sounds really crazy.

Only except they found
Wayne Lambert this morning.

- What?

- Yeah, uh,
it's all over the news.

Maybe you should
turn on the television.

Stop prank calling
the station.

Okay, 'cause we need
this line open.

There could
be an actual emergency.

- Mr. Lambert, how difficult
was it to leave the cult?

- I just kind of,
like, walked away.

I mean,
they don't know that I'm gone.

It's like everything
good about NXIVM...

- Dude, this is impossible.
- Mixed with Heaven's Gate,

but keto.

- You heard it here first,
folks.

Wayne Lambert
is alive and well.

Was there something else?
- Yeah, you should come.

- Oh, thank you.
- It was his head.

- I feel like you'd be
really good at yoga.

- This doesn't make any sense.
- I, for one,

believe the residents
of West Greenview

owe Ms. Wheeler
a huge apology.

- Thank you very much, Debbie.

Well, you heard it
here, folks.

Wayne Lambert alive and well,
or at least just alive.

Wasn't that far away--
- Oh, my gosh.

- Dude.

- What?
- Look.

- Wheeler's off the hook.

The Internet has turned.
It's turned.

- But how?

- Everyone thinks
Wheeler's innocent.

- Well, do your thing.
Make the web.

- No, man.
No one's gonna buy that.

Everyone thinks it's fake.

- But it's not fake,
not anymore.

- All right.
I hate to say this right now,

but this is exactly
what I said would happen.

You know, back when we thought

we were framing
an innocent woman.

Simpler times.

- Yeah, but I saw it.
Okay, the head.

I guess I finally cracked.

I'm hallucinating.
- Wait a second.

Philip did mention
missing students.

Just let me see
the open missing person cases.

- Philip's livestreaming.

- Looks like Wayne Lambert
pulled a "Wild, Wild Country."

He joined a cult
two towns over.

- Some of 'em are
almost 40 years old.

- I knew there'd be more
than one twist to this story,

but could it really
be the end of it?

- Let me just
cross-reference that.

Bam.

Eight missing
West Greenview High students.

And they all have
one thing in common.

They all took Wheeler.

- So that wasn't Wayne's head.

That was one of theirs.

- Mm-hmm.

- What are we gonna do?

[school bell rings]

- All right.
We need real evidence,

and it's all in that house.

- Okay, so how do we get it?
How do we stop her?

I don't know. I mean,

sooner or later,
she has to leave, right?

We could just break in.

What if she has moved
the head by now?

- Why? It's not like
she knows you know.

- She doesn't know
that you know.

- So as long
as she doesn't know

that we both know,
we'll be fine.

- Okay. Yeah.

- Last week was a crazy time
here at West Greenview.

Accusations were cast,
suspicions were flamed.

People jumped
to ludicrous conclusions.

I think everyone owes
Mrs. Wheeler

an apology.

The board has reinstated
Mrs. Wheeler.

So hopefully we can put
this whole ugliness behind us,

drop any wrongful
termination lawsuits

that might be pending,

and just pretend like it--

like it didn't happen
in the first place.

Mrs. Wheeler,
I'll leave you to it.

- Bet you've missed me.

[laughs]
Well, don't worry.

You're in for a real treat.

Mr. Palmer.

[students gasping]

Yes, you,
stand up against the wall.

Can you do it
a little faster, please?

I will now demonstrate

the conservation
of mechanical energy.

So when I release the ball,

it creates a pendulum effect.

It swings from gravitational
potential energy

to kinetic energy and back.

Do you trust physics,
Mr. Palmer?

- No, wait.

[all oohing]

[laughter]

- Yeah, science!

- Whoo!

And she was like this--
- Yeah.

- This close from, like &
- I know.

- Bashing my head in.
- I know.

You told me all about it.

- You should have
seen the look in her eyes.

- No one believes us,
all right?

We have to do this.

We have to prove to everyone
that she's a killer.

- I don't know
about this, Tanner.

- What?
- This, okay?

I'm scared.

- I'm scared too, bro.

- I think I'm gonna throw up.

- It's gonna be okay,
all right?

- Promise?
- Yeah.

It's gonna be okay.

- Okay.

- You know, it'd be nice
if you said it back.

- It's gonna be okay.
- All right. Thanks.

- It's gonna be okay.
- Jeez.

Is that so much to ask?

- It's gonna be okay.
- Yeah. It's gonna be okay.

- All right. Okay.

[suspenseful music]

God, this is taking so long.

Tanner, wake up.
- What? I was up.

- Why are you sleeping?
- I was totally up.

- Shh.
- My eyes were--sorry.

- Tell me the plan again.

- [sighs]
Your mom.

- Oh, yeah. I think she's
working the overnight shift.

I'll give her a text
to let her know

I'm staying at your place.

- No, dude. Your mom.

What is she doing here?
- What?

I'll call her.
- Yeah.

[phone trilling]

- Pick up, pick up, pick up.

- Sh--
it's Wheeler.

- Oh, no.

She left the door open.

- Mr. Palmer, Ms. Tanner.
Trouble always comes in pairs.

We've been expecting you.
Please, have a seat.

- Mom, can we talk
to you outside?

- Ben, don't be rude.
Sit down.

[tea kettle whistling]
- Oh, I'll be just a minute.

- She's a murderer.
She's got heads in the closet.

- Okay, we have
to get out of here.

Do not drink any--

- I am so disappointed
in both of you.

Cheating?

Mrs. Wheeler
told me everything.

- No--
- And Tanner, I know

that you think this is fun
and games, but it's fraud.

You guys framed
an innocent woman.

- But Mom--
- Sit down and be quiet.

I am trying
to smooth everything over

so you don't get expelled
or arrested.

- Mom, no--
- I don't wanna hear it.

- Watch her every move.

- I ain't drinking
that poison, yo.

[eerie music]

- So...

you know, your mother was
in my class once upon a time.

- Your AP physics.
That was my gateway science.

Then I took anatomy,
and that led me to nursing.

- Oh, Julia.

- Julie.
- Julie.

Oh, Julie,
you're one of the good ones.

Like your son.

He came to see me
the other day with flowers

for my George.

- Well, we know how hard it is
to lose someone.

- Oh, he was--
he was magnificent.

What a guy.
We shared everything.

- Everything,
including hobbies?

- [laughs] Really.

You know, even the happily
married woman has her secrets.

I mean,
we must have a little mystery

to keep the romance going,
if you know what I mean.

Oh, what are we waiting for?

Salute.

- No!
- Benji!

- Um--um, I have to go
to the restroom.

- I also have to go
to the restroom.

- So just put the tea down,

wait for us to come back,

and we can all enjoy tea
together.

Please.

- It's down the hallway
on the right.

Not the left.

[dramatic music]

- Shit.

both: Dude.
- We don't have long,

and we need a plan.

- Okay, I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to think.

- I mean, even your mom
loves Wheeler now.

- Okay, we could livestream
our own murders,

and people would
still think it's fake.

- Okay.
That's a bad idea.

Um, let me think.
Let me think.

Ooh!
It seems like we need someone

with a big mouth
with bolt cutters.

- What?
- Right?

- No. No, no, no.
We have to get out the truth--

the whole truth.

- Ah, I got it.
- What?

- I got an idea.

[phone trilling]

- You know, it's really rude
to FaceTime someone

with no warning.

You're lucky I picked up.
- No, shut up and listen.

We framed Wheeler. Okay?

I started the conspiracy
theory with dummy accounts.

- Yeah, and I cheated
on the physics midterm, okay?

And Wheeler was gonna
fail the whole class,

so I wanted revenge.

- Okay.

Ew.
Where are you guys right now?

- Okay, Philip,
we don't have long.

If you want an exclusive
access to our full confession,

you have to come
over here right now.

- And we have real evidence.

Okay. Trust me.
I'm gonna send you the address

and bring bolt cutters.

- Bolt cutters?
Kinky. I'm in.

- Oh, my God.

Just shut up
and come over here.

- Okay. Okay.

This will work.
This will work.

We just got to make sure
Wheeler's distracted

for a bit longer, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- All right.
- Hey, Tanner.

- Yeah.

- I appreciate you believing
me about all this.

Ow.

- Dude, of course.
This is a murderer.

It beats whatever dumb fight
we were having.

- Okay.
- Wait.

Promise me that you'll do
the summer mini-tour with me.

- We fly.

Mom? Mom.

- Can we drop
the silly façade now?

- What did you do to her?

- I don't think she's gonna
wake up for a while.

She'll probably
forget our conversation

about how troubled you
and Ms. Tanner are,

and how I fear you might harm
yourselves or become runaways.

I'll have to remind her.

- You know what?
It's two on one,

and we didn't drink
any of your tea.

- Now, what made you think
that I did anything...

To the tea?

I love thermodynamics.

Did you know that you could
soak all sorts of chemicals

through your pores?

Skin is very, very absorbent.

Now, I'm aware
that some compounds take

a little more time
to take effect.

[chaotic music]

[echoing]
All sorts of nasty things.

I should have
upped the dosage.

Can you still feel your legs?

- [laughing]

- Sweet dreams.

- Let's clobber her.

- Yeah. That's--

[eerie music]

[laughing]

[rock music blaring]

[tense music]

[rock music continues faintly]

- [grunts]

Tanner, wake up.

[panting]

[rock music blaring]

[music stops]

Tanner? Where are we?
Tanner, wake up, please.

- Your little friend
is sedated.

She can barely move her legs.

[knocking on door]

You make one sound,
I'll take it out on her.

[door opens]

- Mrs. Wheeler.

- Joe.

- You're here late.

- Yeah.
I'm working on my lesson plan.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Can I get the trash for you?

- No, won't be necessary.
Thank you.

- [grunting]

- Hey, um,
I just want to say that, uh,

I feel really badly about
everything that happened,

and, um, I want you to know
that I was on your side,

'cause, you know,
you're the best.

- Well, I--I appreciate that.

- Don't work too late.
You going to the club?

- Yo, what's up?
You've reached Tanner.

Not here.

Leave a message
and I'll call you back or not.

- Ha-ha. You got me.

Really lame prank, though.
No one was even home.

- One last lesson, Mr. Palmer.

If only you had confessed.

- Please, Mrs. Wheeler.

- But you didn't,
you little devil.

You doubled down
and framed me for murder.

I was gonna give you an F.

Hardly a proportional
response, right?

But you know what?

You turned the class
against me.

You had me fired.

And then...

you found my head.

You've seen my hall of fame.

These are the ones
who didn't make the cut.

Now you know my secret.

- Tanner, Tanner.
Tanner, Tanner.

- Oh, I'm fucked.

- Hello.
- [gasps]

- Remember me, Mrs. Tanner?

You are truly special,
because I have never collected

one person
who is not a student of mine.

Well done.

- Mrs. Wheeler,
please don't hurt her.

It was a joke.

- And it was funny.

I thought it was
especially funny

when my George died.

- That wasn't us.

- He had a bad heart,

and he died
because of the stress

that you caused him.

- Mrs. Wheeler, I'm sorry.

We didn't kill your husband.

- You think this is funny?

- [screams]

- Ah, shut up,
you little fucks.

- I'm sorry
I got you into this.

- It's okay.
I'm sorry I got you into this.

[rock music blaring]

What are we gonna do?

We gotta get out of here.

I think I can feel
my feet again.

They're tingly.

- Come on, Tanner.
Come on.

- I'm trying.

[gasps]

- You're first up, Mei Tanner.

[both grunting]

What are you doing?
[yells]

Ow! Ah.

[suspenseful music]

- [screams]

- Hey!

- Go, go.

- It's locked.
It's locked!

- The windows. The windows.
- Okay.

- Janitor Joe!
- Loretta!

[muffled]
Help!

- I'm just saying, hire
another janitor, you know?

- Sure.
- It's enough.

- Absolutely.
- I can't do the whole thing.

- No.
Do you know that there's

actually no chicken
in the chicken strips at all?

- Help!
- They can't hear us.

[buzzsaw whirring]
- [gasps]

I got some--there's rope!
I got something.

- Think, think.
Uh...

I have an idea.

- Oh, shit.

Wait, wait.

- I hope this works
'cause I want to live,

but you should totally get
an A in physics, dude.

Okay.

both: We fly.

[dramatic music]

- Oh, my God.

[phone buttons beeping]

Hello. Yeah.

I have to report
a decapitation.

West Greenview High.

Yeah. There's a head
on my car right now.

You have to come right--
oh, my God!

- Take it easy, Joe.
Come on.

- Oh, my God!
- Take it easy.

- There's a head on my car.

[scraping]

- Oh, shit.
- Go.

Go, go, go.

[dramatic music]

[metal clanging]

[door creaks]

[panting]

- [breathing shakily]

[door opens]

[scraping]

[screams]

- [grunts]
- Ah!

- [yelling and panting]

[slapping on door]

[siren wailing]

[upbeat music]

- In other news,
notorious serial killer

Helen Wheeler was arraigned
in federal court today.

While it remains unclear
how she was able

to evade detection for so long

whilst hiding in plain sight--

- Ben.

I was thinking, maybe we go
shopping this weekend.

Get some supplies
for your dorm.

You up for it?
- Sure.

Thanks, Mom.

- [singing] Bad things happen
to the people you love

And you'll find
yourself praying

- There you go, po po.

- [singing] Up to heaven above

But honestly,
I've never had much sympathy

- Yo.

Time waits for no one.
Let's go.

- See you tonight, po po.
Love you.

- [singing] Run run away, run
away, run away and never come
back

Run run away, run run away

- Principal Henderson.
- Hey.

- Looks like somebody got
the good spot today.

- [laughing]
Yeah.

[school bell ringing]

[all cheering]

- [singing] Run run away,
run run away

Run away, run away
and never look back

Run run away, run run away

Run away, show 'em
that your color is black

I'm gonna run run away,
run run away

- Oh, my gosh.

- Yeah. I'm never gonna
get used to that.

- Yeah.
Uh, see you at lunch?

- Of course.

all: One of us. One of us.
One of us.

- Come on.
all: One of us. One of us.

- Yeah!
- One of us.

- Whoo!

- I didn't know I wasn't one
of you guys, but this is nice.

- Oh, I'm sorry we've
never let you sit here.

- I'm Joe, by the way.
- Joe.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

[school bell rings]

- Did you guys hear
about Scott Queen

and Derek Potter's moms?

Well, they had
an affair last summer

and now during
every soccer game,

they sext each other

while their husbands scream
at the ref.

Kaylee Anderson
has a screenshot

of one of the sexts;
it's highly erotic.

- I guess we're
anonymous again.

- Eh, the cycle rolls on.

Chicken strips,
please and thank you.

Come on.

After all that
we've been through,

we don't get an extra strip?

- Unless you've gotten the
school to increase my budget,

there's only two strips
per kid.

- Oh, come on.

We took down West Greenview's
biggest threat.

Can't you make an exception?

- Great.
I got you on me too?

I guess trouble
always comes in pairs.

Sorry about Wheeler.
Too bad, huh?

You know what?
I gotta fess up.

Truth is I can give you
as much chicken as you want.

I just wanna see what you do.

Even in chaos, there's order.

[eerie music]

Enjoy your lunch.

[dramatic music]

[both singing]
- Let's go, Frock Swap

- Mrow
- Yeah, yeah, yeah

Get ready
- Wom, wom

- Frock Swap

both: Pineapple, hell no

If you really like it,
it's time to go

Pineapple, hell no

If you really like it,
it's time to go

Pineapple, hell no

If you really like it,
it's time to go

Pineapple, hell no

If you really like it,
it's time to go

- What's your stakeout
code name?

- That's a tough question.

You know,
'cause there's so many--

- Yeah.
- So many great--Bobcat.

- [gasps]
[growls]

Love it.
- Great. What about you?

- Stingray.
- Stingray.

- Stingray.
[imitates zapping]

- Okay. And bye.

But you're
not putting this away?

I have to put this away?
"Thank you, Mom.

You're the best mom
in the universe."

- Gluten-free?

I have nothing for you.

[laughter]

[laughs]

- But in this case,
it's a little bit different,

because she did want
to eat him.

Old people are weird.

- I got it.
- You're sure?

- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I love this.

I love doing this.
This is why I got into this.

Yeah, this is it.

This is really great for me.

- I flushed him out
with a flashbang,

and then I no-scoped him
in the dick.

Yeah, it was very gratifying.

- Oh, Principal--
Principal Henderson.

- Yes.
- Is it "Flubber" with two Bs?

- You're kidding me, right?

Just say no.

- This stinks.

Smells like a devil
pissed in it.

- Wait, what?

- Doesn't look like
anything I've ever seen.

- Yeah. Right?
- Devil's piss.

- Yeah. This is devil's piss.

- [laughing]

- And now for an editorial
from yours truly.

Jumping to conclusions,
we all do it.

We've all done it.
We're doing it right now.

How do we stop?

And is it really that bad?

- There's these Swiss banks
that are hidden in the Alps.

- What?
Like, in the mountains?

- Yeah.
And the bad guys put the money

and you can't get to it.

- Whoa.
Do you have to, like,

ski down it and know a code?

- You can't--you can't even.
- Who knows?

We don't even know.

- You can't even do that.
- Can't even ski?

- No.
- Oh, man.

- They're prepared for that.
They have it on lockdown.

[all speaking at once]

- You killed her.
You killed her!

- Little asshole.

[laughter]

Do you trust physics,
Mr. Connor?

Ooh!
[spluttering]

[laughter]

- Mrs. Palmer.

Ah, shit. That's my name.

- What the--what the--

What was--

This head keeps hitting us.

- I wanna tase her.

- She flipped me off.
- Yeah.

Well--
- Hey, gang.

How we doing?
- Yeah.

- Another positive
cop interaction.

- Indeed.
- Tell your friends.

- You know, her husband,
he's the sweetest guy ever,

but not her.

She's terrible to everybody.

Just a nightmare.

Just freaked everybody out
all the time.

You know.

And, uh, like, that's why
we have to have her back

no matter what she did.

So I--yeah.

- And she's the killer.
- [gasps]

- Maybe not that big.
- [laughs]

- Shit. Son of a bitch.

- [laughs]
Shake it.

- That's not--
give a break.

- Wayne Lambert wrote that?

- That's Drake.

- Wayne Lambert is Drake?

Probably not.
You're right. That's--

- Yeah.
- Drake's Canadian.

[indistinct chatter]

- Yep.
That's the only reason why.

- I--I just don't--

I'll have to call you back.

[door slams]
[clattering]

- This--[laughing]
I'm sorry!

Oh, shit.

I'm a goner.

I'll be just a minute.

[laughter]

- She touched her own tea.

- But I'm a dancer.
You don't understand.

- She dances out of the room.
- You don't understand.

[humming]

[both vocalizing]

- Can you take it away
from the door for a second?

You need a break, Rita?

- Oh, no. I was acting.
[laughter]

So--oh, oh. God.

Ah, Jesus.

- Mrs. Wheeler.
- What, what, what--

- Mrs. Wheeler.
- Why--why--

- Do you--do you need help,
Mrs. Wheeler?

- [laughing]
- Okay.

- I'm breaking myself up.

That's stupid.

[laughter]

- I love it.
- Okay, cut.

[laughter]

- Dude,
get the hell outta here.

Okay, why are you--go.

- You guys stayed
for all of this?

- Like, I--I was being
the nice guy...

- All of this?
- For, like--for funsies.

But like, come on.
- I can't believe it.

- Like, it's enough, man.