Original subtitles

[Mikey] She fell to the Earth

in a ball of fire

only to be reborn as...

The Wichita Platypus!

Cool!

That ain't the end of it.

This was an adventure so big,

it could only be told in a maxi series called Secret Battles.

Issue one opens with the ship of a mysterious alien

appearing above the earth.

His name, The Outsider.

His mission--

[Serling] His mission

is evidently to reduce the living room to a mess.

[Raph] Ha! Mikey's doll house

keeping you from repolishing the doorknobs?

And straightening the carpet fringe

and reorienting the sofa pillows.

It's utter chaos.

You gotta lot of issues for a robot.

He was forever lost in an abyss.

Then, in the next issue,

Aracnolad's son returns from from a theragak battle arena changed forever.

He would now be known as...

Aaah!

[Raph] Lunch! Hahaha!

Are you busted in the brain?

That's a serious one web-wired variant

in near excellent condition.

I made you a hava burguer

so the two of you could fly off to geek land.

And the tin can can clean the penthouse.

Ignore him, Cody.

He has no appreciation for a a good sculpt

and 39 points of articulation.

Ahhm.

Of all the things you could have saved from the lair,

you had to save this junk?

I think it's cool.

It's stupid.

I mean look at this one.

What's the point of buying a doll

if you never take it out of the package?

That's mint on the card!

And it's an action figure!

Not a doll! Gimme!

Why don't you come get it?

[rock music] [laughs]

[Mikey moans] [Raphael laughs]

[Donnie] Raph, what are you doing?

Mikey's right. These things are fun to -- wait!

[crasihing sound] [groans]

Noooo!

Phew! Still perfecto!

[crashing sound] [moans]

[jet flying]

[explosion]

[screaming]

[loud thud]

[Raphael] So much for mint.

[growls]

[low tense music]

[Leo] Who's there?

[grunts] [sound of spades]

[gasps] The Inuwashi Gunjin!

Turtles...

...help!

Ha! Good thing you didn't start cleaning up yet.

[ominous music]

♪ It's ninja time! ♪

♪ Four teenage turtles surfed

in on a wave from the past ♪

♪ It's like the future's

a party that these brothers just crashed ♪

♪ Don't know when they'll go home. How long the good time will last ♪

♪ But just stick around and see these turtles go... ♪

♪ Fast Forward! Leonardo, Donatello! ♪

♪ Fast Forward! Raphael, Michelangelo! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Fast Forward! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ It's Ninja Time! ♪

♪ This future stuff is so strange. Time can get rearranged ♪

♪ But the more things change, the more they also stay the same ♪

♪ Still kickin' butt, and playin' video games ♪

♪ Drivin' everyone nuts. Future's really insane! ♪

♪ Fast Forward! ♪

♪ Get outta my way! ♪

♪ Fast Forward! ♪

♪ It's so not yesterday! ♪

♪ Fast Forward! ♪

♪ It's the only way to play! ♪

♪ Fast Forward! ♪

♪ Guess we're here to stay! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Fast Forward! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Fast Forward! ♪

[male voice] Final boarding,

prepare for countdown.

[Cody] I wanna come too!

Anything that can take down all the Gunjin

is gonna be mega dangerous.

But you know I can handle it.

Plus, I have Turtle X and--

The battlefield is no place for a human youngling.

[grunt]

He had enough trouble asking us for help.

It's his loss, little ninja. And we all know it.

Ok... but next time,

I'm kicking double butt to make up for it!

[low orchestra music]

[Leo] We'll be at your ship soon, so let's go over this again.

[Leo] Any detail can help us deal with your attackers.

As I told you,

it was an unprovoked attack.

My brothers and I were in orbit

and our vessel encountered an anomaly.

[Inuwashi Gunjin] Nothing was in our sector,

yet our ship was crippled by a massive gravity field.

[grunt] Something struck the haul

and attacked with the fury of an army

[sound of blades]

We engaged it in combat,

[fighting sounds]

[crashing sound]

[moans]

Even the Inuwashi Gunjin were no match for it.

You must get help. The Turtles!

Quickly, the escape pod.

[tense music]

Nooo!

[swoosh]

[Inuwashi Gunjin] Gunjin do not flee.

We do not ask for help.

But we are the last of our kind.

If anything were to happen to my brethren...

[Mikey] I hear you, birdman.

Raph may be a pig-headed jock with wicked B.O.

- But we'd crawl for a triceraton septic system - [grunts]

for him if he needed us.

I can't wait to return the compliment.

[Donnie] Coming up on the Gunjin ship. [screen beeping]

[whoosh]

Wow, something stopped us,

and our engine's got fried.

Some sort of...

Massive gravity field?

This is how it begins.

[Leo] Let's suit up and investigate.

[ominous music]

[Donnie]- There's the Gunjin ship. [Raphael]- Or what's left of it.

[low tense music]

[swoosh]

[Donnie] Grav generators are still on line.

[Donnie] Looks like everything else is down.

[Leo] Let's get to the bridge.

[Leo] What is that?

[Donnie] It's a highly tensile polymer,

incredibly strong.

Never seen anything like it.

But why use some goop, when you can rip a hole in a spaceship's hall?

It immobilized all of our autodefense systems,

[Inuwashi Gunjin] then, before we could react--

[trembling] [moans]

[music gets louder]

[buzzing]

[Mikey] Wow!

[Mikey] That's gotta be a pain to find a parking space for!

[Leo] Don, what's inside that thing?

I'm reading thousands of life forms.

But they are all dormant.

Except for one.

Analyzing now.

[evil laugh] [Donnie] Wow!

I am the great Aramzedo, puny insects.

I have come for the last Inuwashi Gunjin.

Surrender him, or suffer my wrath!

[evil laugh]

[Raph] What did you do to make this guy so angry?

[trembling] [moans]

[Leo] Guys, we're under attack.

[Inuwashi Gunjin] Prepare yourselves for the battle of your lives.

[crashing sounds] [moans]

[metallic clanking]

♪ Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Fast forward ♪

♪ Fast forward ♪

[tense music]

[creeping]

That's it?

It looks like one of your dumb toys.

Take care of it, Mikey.

Okay.

Careful, Mikey.

[Donnie] Those servos on its arms look designed for heavy weight.

No sweat, bro.

Gimme your best shot, mini mec.

[fighting sounds] Huh?

Aahh, aaaah!

[moan]

Spunky, little guy.

[moans]

[Pack-bot] Inuwashi Gunjin energy signature.

[Pack-bot] Analyse from previous query.

[Leo] Gunjin, hang back. Let's not give it what it wants.

[Pack-bot] Scanning unknown subject.

[Pack-bot] Alpha male variant.

[Pack-bot] Disable.

[gasp]

Aaaah, haaa!

[fighting sounds]

Thanks.

[moans]

Aaah!

Argh!

Robot snot?

[grunt]

[Pack-bot] Inuwashi Gunjin male found.

Waiting for collection.

Never!

Argh!

[thud]

Don't damage it or you'll ruin the value of the whole set!

[Leo] Ruin the value?

Affirmative.

Archival collection technique.

[Pack-bot] Unknown reptile mutate.

Terrain origin.

Collectible value.

Unknown.

Bah! These life forms are lame!

[Mikey] Lame? We're Grade A turtles, bucko.

Nothing of greater value.

[Raphael] Cut it, Mikey, you're not helping.

But surely there are many of you.

Worthless!

[Mikey] We're the only four Ninja Turtles in existence.

We're priceless!

- [Donnie] Mikey! - Ouch!

Really? In that case,

I must have the complete set

Total set added to checklist.

Ready for collection.

[Raphael] Nice one, Mikey.

♪ Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Fast forward ♪

♪ Fast forward ♪

[ominous music]

[Mikey] Donnie, shift over, man.

I can smell your stinky feet through my helmet!

[gasps]

[Donnie] Is that better? [Mikey grunts]

[tense music]

New collectibles on board.

Careful, careful with my most rare new specimens.

[Leo] Hang on, guys!

If I could just... there.

[Leo] There, keep them talking.

[Leo] This will take a while.

[Donnie] Where are you taking us?

Inuwashi Gunjin must be added to the other three in my collection.

Collection of what?

My collection of every rare warrior in existence.

I have scoured the universe for them.

[Aramzedo] Behold! My chamber of worms.

I preserve them in the natural environments

of all the warriors in my collection.

[Aramzedo] And here, my Hall of Humanoids.

[Aramzedo] Here,

I have gathered the rarest of aliens around the universe.

For Aramzedo...

...must have them all!

[Raphael] This jerk sounds just like you, Mikey.

[Raphael] Look! He's even got them mint on the card!

Primitive fool!

Those cards are sophisticated life support systems.

I have formulated the slow plastic on them

to slow down metabolism

so that the life forms will never age or decay.

Preserved perfectly forever!

[evil laugh]

Yeah, mint on card, total geek.

[Aramzedo] Behold, my latest prized possesions.

The ones known as Inuwashi Gunjin.

Collect them all! [evil laugh]

Got it! Everyone ready?

And now, you will join them side by side

at my new Ninja Turtle collection.

[growl]

What? Find them!

Yohoo!

[tense music]

Now!

[moans] [fighting sounds]

Con...dition...

...poor, too terrible.

[Leo] This way!

[Inuwashi Gunjin] We come to free you, my brothers!

[Aramzedo] Clever, my friend.

But you are in the domain of the mighty Aramzedo,

and I control everything here.

[air sucking sound] Ooohh!

- Ooooh! - Aaahh!

[moans]

[cheering] Welcome to my Dokeypal stadium,

home of the few Dokepals,

whom I had the delight to have them all.

And now they will add you to my collection.

[rumbling]

[balls rolling] [squeaks]

[orchestra music]

[Leo] Don't hurt them. They are prisoners as much as we are.

How could I hurt these cuties?

Hey!

Nice, Dokepal.

[growling]

Aaah!

[squeaks]

[squeaks]

[robots cheering]

I can't get it off! Help!

Aaargh!

[squeak]

[squeaks] [cheering]

[banging]

[squeaks]

Okay...

The fluffy outerlayer

seems to pretty much rule out

an old-fashioned smackdown.

[gasps] [squeaks]

Aramzedo found a way to catch them all.

That's it!

The balls keep them in mint condition.

There's no time to geek out, Mikey,

No, he's right.

Aramzedo kept the Dokepals in those balls.

They're Doke proof.

[squeaks]

[Leo] Guys, it's just like bowling at Wheezy's 12 Pin Ally.

[moans]

[rumbling]

[metallic sounds] [squeaks]

[rumbling] [squeaks]

[squeaks]

Noooo!

[squeaks]

[squeaks] [metal clanking]

[banging] [screaming]

[booing]

You've degraded my vintage Dokepal stadium

to an untradeable pile of junk!

You've made me very angry.

But I'll show you mercy.

You would not survive the fury of Aramzedo.

Pack-bots, collect them!

[Pack-bots] Turtles slated for collection.

[Donnie] We had are hands full with one Pack-bot,

how do we take on an army?

Just what I thought.

Big bad Aramzedo needs pipssqueak robots to do his work.

What?

Enough!

Aramzedo needs no one's help.

Pack-bots, withdraw.

Pack-bots stepping down.

Aramzedo will fight you.

And if I win, you will join my collection

with no further resistance.

Agreed.

And if we win, you will release all of your collection.

All my collection?

Fine. Aramzedo does not lose.

The day we can't take on someone who plays with toys,

is the day I hang up my size for good.

Cheer, my Pack-bots.

Rejoice for your master Aramzedo honors you with his presence

as he does battle.

[cheering]

This'll be cake. How hard can it be to take on one guy?

[trembling] [moans]

[trembling] [moans] [gasps]

Behold the majesty of Aramzedo.

[Raphael] That answer your question, Mikey?

♪ Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Fast forward ♪

♪ Fast forward ♪

[heavy footsteps]

Hey, wait a sec. That's the DNA profile I scanned earlier on the ship.

It was Aramzedo!

Congratulations. Is that gonna help us beat him?

Hum... no.

I didn't detect a weakness.

Aaah!

[huge bang]

[Leo] It's ninja time!

Aaahh!

[growls]

My magnificent robot body has been perfected

with a technology I collected in my travels?

I'm unstoppable.

[fighting sounds]

In mint condition, I might add.

[gasp] [metal crashing]

If I can short out the power to its turbo motors,

he won't be able to move!

You want power?

Rerouting power.

Aaaah!

[moans]

[cheering]

Now to complete my collection.

[Inuwashi Gunjin] We will fight to our last breath.

Fight? We can't beat him by fighting.

Are you saying we should surrender?

No, I'm saying

we have to think like our opponent.

His weak spot isn't physical.

It's his crazy, compulsive, collecting ego thing.

Hey! Wait a minute!

Don, your gauntlet.

[Raph] Destroy it before Aramzedo sees what's on it.

We can't let him have the rarest item of all.

Rare item?

What is this?

Huh?

Yeah, Donnie we can't let Aramzedo

get the DNA profile of that alien you scanned.

It's priceless!

If his Pack-bots capture that dude,

his collection will be unrivaled!

Ahm, yeah.

Uhm, I can't let him slate it for collection on his checklist.

What? Priceless?

Scan it, my Pack-bots! Go!

[electronic buzzing]

DNA scanned for checklist.

Target ultra-rare, size triple data.

Full Pack-bot population required.

Awaiting permission for collection.

Permission? Of course!

I must have it for my collection.

Affirmative. Aramzedo's slated for collection.

What?

[tense music]

[screaming] [electric buzzing]

[upbeat music]

Locked on target.

Stop! I'm your master!

[moans]

Aramzedo commands you!

[laser scanning]

Target contained.

He was in that big, bad, robot body,

but he's really just a little jerk.

Hey, Mikey,

I got the perfect item to start your new collection.

[grunts]

[soft piano music]

[Donnie] Well, this finishes the reprogramming of the first year robots,

and then, I'll reprogram all the boxes underneath them.

They'll do whatever you want now.

You sure about this?

It's a big job.

It's fitting. For years we were imprisoned.

Now we will free all of Aramzedo's collection,

and return them to their home planets.

For all eternity,

the Inuwashi Gunjin will be associated with freedom.

There's thousands of aliens!

How will you handle all of it?

We have persuaded someone very organized to help us,

in exchange for his own freedom.

No! Take him to hangar 11.

First, we'll alphabetize all the aliens.

Then, we will arrange them according to size.

Alphabetize!

So commands Aramzedo.

[Mikey] Hey! Does this mean I don't get his card?

[Mikey] He was mint condition!