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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,508 - Thanks for meeting, all right? 2 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,343 I know everyone's busy, and we've been trying 3 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,178 to make this happen for a while. 4 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,972 The reason you're all here 5 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,517 is because I am a big fan of your content. 6 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:23,189 One of you has the chance to be our next new breakthrough star 7 00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:26,484 of our "Based on a True Story" spinoff. 8 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,279 Now, I'm looking for someone that America can relate to. 9 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,156 We need a sad story... 10 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:34,200 Maybe cancer, maybe a dead sister. 11 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,494 Just think, like, "American Idol." 12 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:37,662 Go. 13 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,122 - My parents died in a car accident. 14 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,307 - Ooh, ooh, ooh. - I have diabetes. 15 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,000 - My mom abused me. 16 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,418 Me too. Me too. 17 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,879 - Yeah, well, I mean, guys, no surprise there, right? 18 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,923 If, uh... hey, I am so sorry. 19 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,633 One second. 20 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,886 Oh, hey, how are you? 21 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,196 - You fuck! - You fucking psychopath! 22 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,614 - We've been calling you for an hour. 23 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:56,699 - What is wrong with you? - Why aren't you picking up? 24 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,308 We called you ten times in an hour. 25 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,810 - Guys, guys, guys, one at a time, please, people. 26 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,480 - Okay. You said you weren't gonna kill anyone. 27 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:04,939 - Uh, no. 28 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:08,151 What I think I said was, I wasn't gonna kill Michelle. 29 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,694 - Oh, my God! 30 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,488 - I don't want to use the word "hero," 31 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:14,407 but she was gonna turn you in. 32 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:15,992 - What? - How do you know that? 33 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,243 You don't know that. 34 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,304 - How do you think I know, Nathan? 35 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,371 She told me. 36 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:20,747 She called the cops. 37 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,433 - Oh, that's bullshit. You... you know what? 38 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,851 We can't believe a word that you fucking say, Matt. 39 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:24,918 That's the thing. 40 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,103 - Why did you frame me with the dart? 41 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,170 - Yeah! 42 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,481 - We're supposed to be partners. 43 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,690 - Nathan, if I wanted to frame you, 44 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:31,275 I'd have dumped her body on Sunset Boulevard, 45 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:32,258 all right? 46 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,468 I just want you to know 47 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,679 that I could frame you if I ever wanted. 48 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,114 - Okay, here's what you're gonna do. 49 00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:38,366 You're gonna get your ass over here, 50 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,141 and you're gonna clean this up. 51 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,268 - Uh... oh, you mean the body? 52 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:43,770 Yeah, no. 53 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:44,979 That's on you guys. 54 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,356 - What... uh, I'm sorry. 55 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,608 We're not gonna dispose of Ruby's fucking body. 56 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,960 Are you out of your mind? - All right, 57 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,445 but, uh, she's gonna start to stink up the place, 58 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,115 and your new fancy Malibu neighbors 59 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:58,034 are gonna be up your ass. 60 00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,577 All right, I'm back. 61 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,537 So sorry. 62 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,455 Any more trauma? Keep it coming. 63 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,557 - Fucker! - Okay. He can't hear us. 64 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,541 Just call him back. Call him back. 65 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,127 - Okay, okay. - Oh, my God. 66 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,545 Oh, my God. 67 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,814 - Guys, keep 'em coming. 68 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:10,797 Write 'em down. 69 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:11,923 I'll be one sec. 70 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:13,883 Hello. 71 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,486 - Um, we can't... - No, we can't do this. 72 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,053 Please, you have to come help us. 73 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,447 We can't do this. - Please, Matt, please. Please. 74 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,473 - Ah, Jesus Christ. 75 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,225 It's like dealing with children. 76 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,727 All right, fine. 77 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,937 Meet me at your place in an hour. 78 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,938 - Our place? No, we're not... 79 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:27,897 We're not meeting at our place. 80 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,149 Absolutely not, no. 81 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:30,483 - It's totally cool. 82 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:33,361 I'll just... I'll hang with Tory. 83 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,529 - What? - Uh, no. 84 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,823 - No. - You will not hang with Tory. 85 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,866 - Don't be late. 86 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,243 Bring the body. 87 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,121 - Oh, my God. 88 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,415 - We're fucked. 89 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,794 - Okay. 90 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,313 She's gonna be okay. 91 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,415 He's not gonna do anything. 92 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,040 Try her again. - I'm calling. 93 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,669 - Hi, it's Tory. Leave a message. 94 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,212 - Voice mail again. Oh, my God. 95 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,797 He's gonna kill her. - He's not. 96 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,048 Don't say that. 97 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,068 He's not gonna... he's not going to kill her, okay? 98 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,093 - He's gonna kill her. 99 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:39,427 - Move! 100 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,832 - Got the keys? - Yeah. Let's go. 101 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,358 - Okay. Okay. 102 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,610 Okay, okay. All right. 103 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,444 Come on. 104 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,573 - Tory. - Tory? 105 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,950 - Tory? Hey. - Tory. 106 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,076 - Tory. 107 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,370 All: Surprise! 108 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,289 Happy anniversary! 109 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,166 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. Hi. 110 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,168 - Oh, my God, hi! - Hey. 111 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,211 - Are you surprised? 112 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,879 - Yes! - Ah, what a surprise. 113 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,716 - How you doing, buddy? - Hey. 114 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,719 - Oh, my God, yes, I almost gave birth. 115 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,180 - We got you so good. - We got you good. 116 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,282 - Okay, wait, get together. 117 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,558 Smile. 118 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,268 Cute. Say "ten years." 119 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,269 - Yeah, you can frame that. - Cute. 120 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,770 - Oh, my God. 121 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,039 - I don't know what he said to get you guys here, 122 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,524 but he guaranteed it would be on the dot. 123 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,734 - I kept my promise, right? 124 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,068 - What did he say to you guys? 125 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,611 - Oh, you don't want to know. - Yeah. 126 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,405 - It was crazy. - It was crazy. 127 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,115 Yeah. Yeah. - We had to race here. 128 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,283 - You know what? 129 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,492 You're gonna get me back. 130 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,286 - We sure are, yeah. 131 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:47,954 - I have to pee. 132 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,164 - Guys... - Yes. 133 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,123 - Thank you. - And then this is gonna be... 134 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,332 We're gonna party. 135 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,476 - What a night we're gonna have here. 136 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,877 Thank you, everybody, for coming. 137 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,128 I'm gonna be right back. 138 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,464 - Oh, hi. Look at you. - Hey, great to see you. 139 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,090 - What are we gonna do? 140 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,342 - We act normal. 141 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,468 - Oh, act normal. - Yeah. 142 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,635 - Okay, cool. 143 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,304 Act normal with Ruby's fucking body 144 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,890 in the trunk of our car? 145 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,016 - Fucking nuts. 146 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,142 - How did he know? 147 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,560 How did he know that she knew? 148 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,811 - I have no idea. 149 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,563 - Like, I... - Hey, guys. 150 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,333 - Get out there right now and take care of the body. 151 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,983 - Hey, it's a party. 152 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,320 - Get your ass out there right now and fucking fix this. 153 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,654 - Guys, I really think 154 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,882 you need to fix this yourselves. 155 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:23,740 - Yeah? 156 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,993 - And when you do... bonus... 157 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,954 I figured out how we can protect the spinoff 158 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,123 from the woke police. Both: What? 159 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,501 - We're gonna make the spinoff inclusive. 160 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:35,978 - Okay, I can't talk about this right now. 161 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,838 - Hey, would you just hear me out? 162 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,839 Thank you. 163 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,341 Right, so what we're gonna do is, 164 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:42,509 we're gonna give a voice 165 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,594 to the marginalized serial killers... 166 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,388 The BIPOC killers, the disabled killers. 167 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,391 We are gonna take their voice, and we're gonna raise it up. 168 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,743 - Marginalized serial killers? - Mm-hmm. 169 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,060 - Are you fucking insane? 170 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,621 Where would you even find those people? 171 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,729 - We have a chat room. 172 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,082 It's kind of like an affinity group. 173 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,375 - Huh, 'cause it kind of sounds like 174 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,733 a forum for terrible people. 175 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,360 - It's a safe space where 176 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:02,529 people can trade stories, talk craft. 177 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,614 - Dead body right in the fucking driveway. 178 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,075 - You have lost your mind. 179 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,118 - Really? 180 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,553 Because I've already had some Zooms, 181 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,496 and the response is amazing. 182 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,373 - Oh, my God, you've... You've had some Zooms? 183 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,708 That's so great. 184 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,060 Did you guys also make some TikTok videos, 185 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,395 you and your little killer friends? 186 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,378 Do a little couple dances together? 187 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,504 Let me tell you something. 188 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,648 There's not gonna be a spinoff. 189 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,899 There's not gonna be a universe. 190 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,192 Nothing. - All right, fine, fine. 191 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,301 All right, fine. Fine. 192 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:26,362 You don't have to do it. - Great. 193 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,303 - All right. - Fantastic. 194 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,304 - Yeah, I don't need you. 195 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,514 I'll do it on my own. 196 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,515 - What? - What? 197 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,017 - The hell you will. 198 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,059 This was my idea. 199 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,061 I created this podcast. 200 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,274 - I am the podcast. 201 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,109 - Hey, guys? - Hey, Tory. 202 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,110 - Hey, Tor. 203 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,236 - Hi. 204 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,113 Um, someone crashed the party. 205 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,281 - What? 206 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:55,248 - Hey, here's the happy couple. 207 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,544 Can I talk to you outside? 208 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,587 - Yeah. 209 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,090 Sure. 210 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,537 - I don't know what you're doing here. 211 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,437 - Yeah. - You weren't invited. 212 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:18,521 - I know. 213 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,440 I know, and look, I totally get it. 214 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,402 I just thought that we've been friends so long... 215 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,360 - Give me a fucking break. 216 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,527 You shot my dog, Simon. 217 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:25,653 - No, I know. 218 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,614 And I am really, really sorry. 219 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,091 - Are you sorry you put a gun to my head? 220 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,533 Sorry about that? 221 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,369 - I can't even believe that I did that. 222 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,412 It's like... - The fuck is wrong with you? 223 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,747 - I think I just fucking lost it. 224 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,833 And this whole open marriage bullshit, 225 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,795 it's just... it's just been eating away at me, Nathan. 226 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,798 And I... I just... like, I... 227 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,716 I think I was just doing it to be cool. 228 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,093 And I'm not. 229 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,135 It's just not me. 230 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,220 - I don't care. 231 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,097 - Thank God Ruby and I worked it out. 232 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,058 - You worked it out? 233 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,102 - Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're doing great. 234 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,771 Just had to hit reset, and she's gonna come here. 235 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,106 She'll tell you. 236 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,947 But we're not gonna fuck around on each other. 237 00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,485 We got a new dog, Duke Jr. 238 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:06,945 - Are you kidding me? Duke Jr.? 239 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,030 You can't just pretend this didn't happen. 240 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,257 - Oh... - You shouldn't be here. 241 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,676 You weren't invited. - Okay, I get it. 242 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,118 - You should leave, okay? - No... 243 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,637 - 'Cause I'm starting to get really fucking pissed off, 244 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,578 Simon. - Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 245 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,122 Let me make this up to you. 246 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,666 Uh, I'll get a house in Belize, 247 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,085 and we'll get the whole gang together, you know? We'll... 248 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,963 - Yeah, that's the thing about you, Simon. 249 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,633 You think you're better than me, but you're not. 250 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,267 - You hear that? 251 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,769 - No. 252 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:40,729 - Is that a phone? 253 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:41,771 - What? 254 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,440 I don't hear anything. 255 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,487 - That... there's a phone. 256 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,031 It's, uh... - I don't think so. 257 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,034 Maybe it's coming from across the street? 258 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,452 - No, it's definitely not. 259 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,870 It's definitely, uh... 260 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,332 it's definitely coming from in here. 261 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,960 Yeah. Let's open it. 262 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,545 You got the keys? - They're inside. 263 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:06,921 Hey, don't worry about it. 264 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,524 - Whoa, what if somebody's trapped inside? 265 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,342 Get the keys. - Hey, hey, look. 266 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:12,802 You know what? 267 00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:14,804 Let's put that stuff in the past, okay? 268 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,348 You and I are cool. 269 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,141 Come back inside. - Really? 270 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,935 - Yeah, we are... We're totally cool. 271 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,103 Let's put it behind us. 272 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,146 - Oh. 273 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,357 - I've done some crazy shit too. 274 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,816 - Yeah. 275 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,821 - What about the prenatal classes? 276 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,198 How are they? - You know what? 277 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,449 I never went. 278 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,450 - Girl... - Yeah, no. 279 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,826 - But it's, like, showtime. 280 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,995 - Well, um, kind of. Not really. 281 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,122 - Well, look, has anyone told you about the guy? 282 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,707 - The who? - The shit guy. 283 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,542 - The shit guy. - The what? 284 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,853 - No, I mean, you're gonna shit on the table, 285 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,170 and that's okay. - Okay, quiet. 286 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,023 - He's gonna wipe it... - Okay, guys, you know... 287 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,925 - And the diapers, the big, giant vagina diapers. 288 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,301 - Oh, huge. - All right, 289 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,362 you know what, guys? Maybe we can stop talking... 290 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:55,512 - With the ice inside. 291 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,222 - It's like a snowman is going down you. 292 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,641 - Your pussy is gonna be on ice for weeks, months. 293 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,184 - Well, this is a great party. 294 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,870 - You got a guy in the kitchen putting edibles up his ass. 295 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,437 - Right up his ass. - Oh, my God. 296 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,523 - I would do that. 297 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,149 Uh, give me one second, okay? 298 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,859 Bye. 299 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,277 We're not ready for this, baby. 300 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,713 - Ruby's phone is ringing in the trunk. 301 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:13,780 - What? 302 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,532 - Yes, come on. 303 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,033 - Seriously? 304 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,994 You left her phone in her pocket in the car? 305 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,329 Are you nuts? - I'm sorry. 306 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,890 It's my first time dealing with a dead body. 307 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,041 - Oh, my God. 308 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,376 Oh, God, I can't look at her. 309 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,463 - Okay, how do you turn this fucking thing off? 310 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:31,756 - Don't turn it off. 311 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,800 - The cops can fucking track us. 312 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,069 - I'm sure this thing has been pinging 313 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,720 every cell tower since we left Malibu. 314 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,971 We'll deal with that later. 315 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,448 We have to see if Matt's telling us the truth. 316 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,640 - Okay. 317 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,701 Well, do you have the code? 318 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,059 - Uh, no. 319 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,286 - All right, well, what do you want to do? 320 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,396 - Oh, my God. 321 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:47,480 Uh... 322 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,024 okay, okay. 323 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:52,110 Just, uh... oh, my God, move her face towards me. 324 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,862 - Okay. 325 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,282 - Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. 326 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,700 Oh, it worked. - It worked. 327 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:01,036 - Okay. All right, I'm gonna check if anyone's called. 328 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,456 Uh, unknown caller. 329 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,249 There's a voice mail seven minutes ago. 330 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,668 - Play it. - Okay. Okay. 331 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,254 - Now, this is a message for Ruby Gale. 332 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,214 Detective Quincy Burrell of the LAPD 333 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,425 Westside Ripper Task Force returning your call. 334 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,260 - Oh, my God. - It sounds like you have 335 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,362 very relevant information. - Shit. 336 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,387 - She did call! 337 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,221 She was gonna turn us in! 338 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,598 - Here's my personal cell. 339 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,849 310-700... 340 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,059 - What did she tell them? 341 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,894 - Fuck. - 5647. 342 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,771 - Fucking mother... Relevant information? 343 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,231 What kind of fucking relevant information do they have? 344 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,776 - She was gonna make baby an orphan. 345 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,819 - What are you guys doing? 346 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,821 - Hey. 347 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,448 Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. 348 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:41,326 Yeah, we're coming! 349 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,207 - Okay, speech time. 350 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,126 Everybody come in from the kitchen, please. 351 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:52,712 - God, I love a speech. 352 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,007 - You know, you're a fucking asshole. 353 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,343 You left the fucking phone on her on purpose. 354 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,427 - Yeah. 355 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:00,613 I wanted to throw you in the deep end, 356 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,888 see if you could swim. 357 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,098 - Guys, shut the fuck up. 358 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,557 - Simon was out there. 359 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:05,642 What if he saw something? 360 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:07,185 What if he knows her fucking ringtone? 361 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,104 - Well, then we take care of Simon. 362 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,898 - When does this end? 363 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,567 - Well, that's the beauty of it. 364 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,403 Never ends. 365 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:21,074 - All right, okay. 366 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:24,703 So I don't really know if anybody knows this, 367 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:30,083 but Ava and Nathan kind of saved my life. 368 00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:35,005 Um, our mom died when I was 10, 369 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:39,300 and Ava was living out here with Nathan. 370 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:45,056 And I got stuck with my dad and step-monster in Chicago, 371 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:49,686 and I kind of wanted to blow my brains out. 372 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:52,647 So I called Ava, 373 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:57,027 and she drove cross-country, 374 00:12:57,068 --> 00:13:01,281 picked me up, and brought me here. 375 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:05,910 She and Nathan gave me a life and a home 376 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:09,622 and a family. 377 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:14,252 You guys always looked out for me, 378 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:20,133 and that baby is so lucky to have you guys as parents. 379 00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,135 Seriously. 380 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,386 Am I right? 381 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,972 All: Yes. 382 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,432 - I love you. 383 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,808 - Love you. 384 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:31,227 Thank you. 385 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:34,814 - Happy 10-year anniversary 386 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,442 to Ava and Nathan. 387 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,694 To Ava and Nathan. 388 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,029 - Ow, ow! 389 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,989 - All right, let's party. 390 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,491 - Bye. Thank you. - Yeah, take care. 391 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,385 Thank you. Hey, buddy. Thanks... thanks for coming. 392 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,887 - Bye. Thank you so much. - Oh, buddy. 393 00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:49,871 - Bye. Too many ass gummies. 394 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,098 - They are really kicking in now. 395 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,165 - Wow. - Nathan. 396 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,500 - You okay to drive? - Yep. 397 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,794 - We'll see. 398 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,045 - All right. 399 00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:58,838 - Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 400 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,882 - Guys? 401 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,176 I got you an anniversary present. 402 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,572 Have fun. 403 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,625 - Okay. 404 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,252 - Okay. Come on, let's go. 405 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,330 - Thank God for the pickleballers. 406 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,351 - Are you sure this is okay? 407 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:38,480 - Yeah, they're gonna cement it tomorrow. 408 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,316 Cameras haven't worked here in years, so it's perfect. 409 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,494 - How come we never talk about the baby? 410 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,996 - We talk about the baby. 411 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:57,540 - Uh, no, we don't. 412 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,669 We haven't even bought anything for this little human. 413 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,046 I mean, we don't have a stroller 414 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,382 or car seats, diapers... nothing. 415 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,051 Don't you think that's a little bit weird? 416 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,012 - I guess. 417 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:13,098 Uh... 418 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,432 I mean, I'm super excited. 419 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:21,189 But I'm fucking terrified. 420 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,818 - Yeah, me too. 421 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:31,700 I just want to be a good dad. 422 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,536 I don't wanna let you down. 423 00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:37,038 - You could never let me down. 424 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,708 - Ava, come on, you've been... 425 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,584 You've been so excited these last few months. 426 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:45,547 You're so... you're so alive. 427 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,091 It's because we're finally getting somewhere, right? 428 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,342 - Yeah, but for me, 429 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,052 it was never about getting somewhere. 430 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:54,431 It was about being together, 431 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:57,142 connecting again like we used to, you know? 432 00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,020 That's literally all I ever wanted. 433 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,857 - That's all I wanted. 434 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:09,446 Let's do this. 435 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,911 - Wow. 436 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,416 - Oh, God, good job. 437 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:39,476 You know, we... we met 438 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,145 at a party for Taylor Lautner. 439 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,813 We were so young. 440 00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:45,982 She was just, like, the coolest girl in the room. 441 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,484 Everyone wanted to be around her, 442 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,569 but we just... I don't know. 443 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,197 We just, like, bonded and sat in a corner 444 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,782 and drank all night. 445 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,035 And she was the most adorable, the most fun. 446 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,079 - And the one that was gonna turn us in. 447 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,878 - Hey, where's the dart? 448 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:11,675 - Ahh! 449 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,176 - Ahh! 450 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,344 - Fuck! 451 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,221 - Oh, God! 452 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,305 No, don't! 453 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:19,974 - Ahh! 454 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:25,105 - Nathan? 455 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,858 Ruby, no, no. Ruby, no, please! 456 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,527 Ruby, Ruby, please. I'm so sorry. 457 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,195 Please, please. - Oh, please don't. 458 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,197 - Ruby, I'm so sorry. Ruby, no, no, no, no, no. 459 00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:35,365 Ruby, no, no, no, please. 460 00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:37,200 Please, please, my baby. 461 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:38,952 - Fuck the baby. 462 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,578 Ah! 463 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,540 Yes! Yes! 464 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:48,128 The hot bitch wins for fucking once! 465 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,421 And you know what? 466 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,589 I'm gonna create my own podcast, 467 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,341 and it's gonna be called 468 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,719 "How My Shitty-Ass Friends Protected 469 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,347 "a Fucking Serial Killer and Ended Up in a Ditch 470 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,433 Instead of Me," okay? 471 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,769 Fuck you! 472 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,775 - She looks so peaceful. 473 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,072 - Oh, God, oh, God. 474 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,992 - Okay. 475 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:31,004 Anything else you want to say? 476 00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:33,757 - Yeah, hurry up. 477 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,092 We got a lot of cleanup to do. 478 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,335 - How long have we got? 479 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,670 - I don't know. 480 00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:55,463 They're having a sexy hotel night. 481 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,340 - That's perfect. 482 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,555 - Hey, we've gotta tell them sometime. 483 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,390 - We will. 484 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,981 Oh, God, this dress. 485 00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:18,153 - What about the name Jack for a boy? 486 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,989 - I like that. - I know. I do too. 487 00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:23,700 It's, like, very old-school, rock and roll, classic. 488 00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:25,035 What up, Jack? - Yeah. 489 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,387 Hey, what's up, Jack? - What's up, Jack? 490 00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:27,579 - Jack Nicholson. 491 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:28,705 - That's a cool kid. 492 00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:30,415 - Jack Kerouac, Jack London. 493 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:31,624 - Like it. - Yeah. 494 00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,543 - Mm-hmm. 495 00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:35,337 - And what if it's a girl? 496 00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,589 - I like the name Ellie. 497 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,673 - Oh, Ellie. 498 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:39,674 - Do you like that one? 499 00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:42,719 - Ellie or Jack. 500 00:21:42,761 --> 00:21:43,803 I love it. 501 00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:46,973 - Yeah, me too. It's sweet. 502 00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:53,563 - Oh... 503 00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:55,315 whose blood is that? 504 00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:57,168 both: Nice shot, Dad. 34236

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