Original subtitles

- We need to talk.

Nate told me you sprung a leak?

- Uh...

we don't... we don't have a leak.

- Yeah, he said it was the new pipe I put in.

I can't have that.

I insist.

I gotta stand behind my work, you know?

One bad Yelp review, and I'm canceled.

Not that you'd ever do that, but, you know,

it's the principle.

After you.

Okay.

Let's see what we got going on in here.

So, uh, how's work, huh?

How's the market?

- Yeah, you know, it's good.

It's, uh... everyone's always looking for a bargain.

So it's... - Yeah.

- Tough.

- Ah, here it is. Yeah, there is a leak.

So strange he didn't tell you.

- Well, it's not really...

- You know, in my experience,

husbands don't keep that many things secret

from their wives.

You know? - Hmm.

- Right?

You guys tell each other everything

till death do you part.

Hey, Ava?

How long do you want me to keep this up?

- Wh-what?

- You're really gonna make me keep looking for the fake leak?

So...

Here's what I think happened.

I think you figured out the whole thing...

The booties, the scratches,

Pomona, all of it.

There's no way our sweet Nathan put all that together himself.

He's not wired like us.

I think you came up with this... podcast.

- No idea what you're talking about.

- Mm-kay.

Here's what I'm gonna do...

I'm gonna give you... one more chance

to tell me the truth.

'Cause if this is gonna work,

if we're gonna move forward as partners,

there's gotta be trust, am I right?

So what's it gonna be?

- This is Ava. Leave a message.

- Hey, it's me again.

Just call me when you get this, okay?

He's still not here.

I don't know where you are.

Just... just call me.

You're late.

- Yeah. I brought a friend.

Okay, so let's be clear,

if we are gonna do this, no more lies.

One of us goes down, we all go down.

And this location?

Amateur hour.

You got one exit, no escape route,

and it's way too loud.

- I don't... I don't hear anything.

- Mm-mm. - Do you?

- Mm-mm. - Oh.

Do you wanna know what I hear?

- Sure.

- The train station 100 feet away.

The couple talking shit about the traffic.

The meth head mumbling

at the dumpster.

What if just one of them mentions a street name?

Every single second of this podcast

is gonna be studied, enhanced.

The cops are gonna hear everything.

The SWAT team will be here in 60 seconds.

You guys wanna play murder, you don't half-ass it.

- Mm-mm. - Of course.

- From now on, we use burners.

- Burners?

- Uh... - Burners.

All right, kids...

rest of today's canceled.

I'll find us a new location.

Oh, hey, and just a little heads-up,

your friends came to see me.

You know, the LAPD?

- What? - It's all good.

I gave them my alibi. They took off.

- What alibi?

- You know, after the bar, we went back to your house.

We got fucked up and watched "Face/Off."

- I'm your alibi?

No, they're... They're gonna ask me.

- It's okay. It's okay. - Yeah.

They are gonna ask you.

But we're partners now, right?

Buddy?

You watch my back...

and I won't stick a knife in yours.

- God, Ava...

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm good.

- Girl's got some rage in her today.

- Tough day, uh-huh. - I like it.

Let's go. - Okay, you ready, baby?

- Oh, I'm ready.

There we go, there we go.

Nice! Yeah, baby.

Give it to me hard.

- Harder, harder...

- Harder!

- Oh, my God. - Come on!

- Look how wet we are.

- Oh, my God. You always get me wet...

- You're a little wet. - One way or another.

- Ooh, that feels nice, doesn't it?

- Mm. - It's hot.

- Stop.

- I'm gonna get you some electrolytes, okay?

- Okay, thank you, baby. - Ava, electrolytes?

- Yeah... - All right.

- Wow.

You guys have some insane chemistry there.

- You have no idea.

- Well... - So speaking of...

I don't know.

You and Nathan have had some weird-ass energy lately.

- Nathan and I are just going through some stuff.

It's fine. - What, like you're...

- We're totally fine. We really are.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Well, I have something that might cheer you up.

- Hmm? - "Sisters In Crime."

New season. - Really?

- Just announced. Dropping Friday.

It's all about the Westside Ripper.

- "Sisters In Crime" is huge.

If we don't get out before then, we are fucked.

I don't want all of our sacrifices to go to waste

because of the fucking Lipinski sisters.

We gotta fast-track this, and now.

God, I hate using this phone.

It makes me feel like a criminal.

- Yeah, well, at least you're not his alibi.

I mean, I don't wanna lie for a serial killer.

I just... I don't wanna do that.

- Listen, we'll deal with it when we have to... if we have to.

Maybe they won't even follow up.

Oh, wait. Look, he's ready.

He found a place for tomorrow.

- What kind of place?

How'd you find this?

- I installed a toilet here.

The Toto UltraMax single flush.

It's a nice couple.

They're in Mykonos, I think.

They're in fashion.

- Stop, stop.

Don't do that.

They gave you the code? - Eh, don't ask.

- Holy shit. - Yeah, no one's gonna bug us.

We're good.

- Wow. Um, okay, that's great.

This is good. - It's so clean.

- So we should probably... We gotta move

because we only have a few days.

- Guys, guys, I don't care about "Sisters In Crime."

All right? They're hacks.

The audience is gonna smell it a mile away.

We don't need to be first. We just need to be better.

All right.

- Um...

where's my gear?

- Oh, I upgraded.

Look, you guys wanna half-ass this

like everything else you do, that's fine.

Me, when I do something, I wanna do it properly.

So before we start, let's talk marketing.

Like, if we can't reveal who we are,

how do we sell this?

- Well, you know, no one ever went broke

betting on America's obsession with murder, so...

plus we have a really good title.

It's "Interview with a Serial Killer."

- Boom. - Oh.

- She... that was her.

- Yeah. - It was... it was great.

- Okay, but guys?

I actually had a really exciting idea on that.

What about...

"Based on a True Story"?

- People love that shit.

It could be the ultimate true crime podcast, all right?

And we could even make a universe out of it.

- A what? - A universe.

Like, "Based on a True Story: Miami,"

"Based on a True Story: Atlanta."

Just like the housewives.

- Wow.

- We do a serial killer in each city.

- You know, here's what I think.

Maybe we just try and, like, master this first

before we start talkin' spin-offs and, you know...

- Okay, yeah. But you know what?

For later, we could, uh...

We could do something really cool with the subtitle.

"Based on a True Story: The Westside Ripper Speaks."

You know, just, like, uh, I don't know,

"Top Gun: Maverick."

- Yeah, no, it's...

It's totally like "Top Gun: Maverick."

- Great, okay. Well, look, let's sit.

- We're gonna use a voice filter.

We'll add that in. - Okay.

And, uh, who do we say you are?

I mean, you're interviewing me, right?

- We're not gonna reveal who we are or how we know you.

That's part of the sell.

We're gonna give details each week

only the killer knows.

Um, and, you know,

it's gonna create a lot of buzz.

People are gonna go crazy for more info.

- Yeah, okay. Great, great.

Let's do this.

- Let's start from the beginning.

- Recording.

- Who are you?

- I'm the Westside Ripper.

I've killed seven women

that the police are aware of...

and at least 20 more.

I was so young. 18.

She was my first.

But from that day on, I just...

fell in love with it.

- That's fuckin' nuts.

- I know. It is.

The planning, the details.

No wonder why no one can catch him.

- You really think there's 20 more bodies?

- God, I don't know.

All these creeps have, like, a weird competition

with each other, you know?

They wanna be in the Bundy Club, 30 plus.

I think people are gonna go nuts

when they hear this.

- Yeah.

- Hey.

- Hey, what are you doing here? You can't come here.

- Well, if you answered your texts,

then I wouldn't have to be here.

And I had to put my kid in the Fun Zone

just so me and you could have a little talk.

- Okay. What are we talkin' about?

- I got some exciting news.

I made a new cut.

- A new what?

- A new cut of the podcast.

- You made your own cut?

- I listened to yours,

and, honestly... I didn't love it.

- Really? We think it's really great.

- The ending just doesn't work, all right?

Or the beginning.

And Uncle Stan? That music...

Look, it just doesn't sound authentic.

- Okay. Um, I gotta tell you,

we've done tons of research.

And we're listened to hundreds of true crime...

- Yeah, but have you ever actually killed anyone?

- Are you fucking kidding me?

You can't come to the Beverly Club

and talk about killing people.

- You don't have any lived experience.

- All right?

It just doesn't feel real.

- Let me tell you something.

We know what we're doing, and you need to trust us.

- Why? - Why?

- Yeah, why? Why do I need to trust you?

This is my story.

I'm trying to protect my brand.

And you keep wasting time

cutting to these other characters.

- They're good characters.

- Nobody cares. - Okay.

- You know what they do care about?

Me. They care about me.

Anytime you cut away to the cops

or the victim's family,

they're just gonna fast-forward

till they get to the serial killer shit.

So let's just... just give 'em what they want.

- You don't have final cut of the podcast.

Do you understand that?

- I'm gonna send it to you, all right?

Just take a listen.

It's all a discussion.

I hope Ava loves it.

Oh, and Nathan? - Yeah.

- You missed one.

- Petrificus Totalus!

- Tarantallegra! - Wingardium Leviosa!

- Tarantallegra! - Petrificus Totalus!

- Flipendo! - Flipendo!

- Hey, Ollie. Ready to go?

- Please? Five more minutes.

- Aw, buddy. - This is my new friend, Gabby.

- Oh, hey, Gabby.

I, uh... hey, I got something for you.

- This a spoon? Expelliarmus!

- Flipendo! - Oh, you got me!

- Can we have a playdate?

- Gabby, you ready to go?

- Mom, we're gonna have a playdate!

- Are we now?

- Uh, hi.

- Hi. - Hey.

- That was a really good fall.

- Yeah, I've been practicing.

- I'm Michelle. - Matt.

Great to meet you, Michelle.

- Nice to meet you.

- Can we, Dad? - Can we, Mom?

Please? - Can we?

- I guess we don't have a choice.

- Yes. - Yes.

- We have no choice. Yes.

- The first time I did it,

I went home covered in blood, my heart beating like crazy.

I was sure the police

would come knocking on my door,

but no one came.

- God, I keep wondering...

Is it really 20?

- Give or take.

- How do you not remember?

- You can always turn me in.

One phone call, and all of this ends.

- I mean, I'm not forcing anyone to buy it.

People don't have to listen.

- Of course.

- There are a hundred podcasts just like it.

- Absolutely.

- Was it really more than 20?

You know what I think?

You need to take the edge off.

Can I suggest something?

Why don't you...

Why don't you talk to Nathan about it, you know?

Just... just tell him how you feel.

- I can't.

He's not like us, you know?

I mean, he wouldn't even raise his prices

when we couldn't afford the mortgage.

That was the day I realized

that the world was gonna eat this guy alive.

If he sees I'm having doubts about this, he'll...

He'll completely collapse.

Like, this will all be over.

- You need to be strong for him.

- I can't fail.

I mean, it's not just us anymore.

- I can help you.

- How are you gonna help me?

- Babe?

Babe?

Hey, babe.

- Mm, yeah. Hey.

- You okay? - Yeah.

- Okay. So Matt did his own cut.

- He what?

- He didn't feel it was authentic.

- Okay, what did he change?

- I listened. It's... it's...

It's just mostly dialogue,

and he did add some new music.

He put Uncle Stan back in,

changed the ending, changed the beginning...

- What the fuck?

That's an entirely different version.

- To be fair, some of the changes

sounded kind of good.

Like, the music... - Oh, fuck this guy.

If we give up control now,

we are never getting it back.

Okay? We hold the cards.

- We hold the cards?

Just listen to it and... okay?

And see what you think.

- Fuck, fine.

But I'm taking notes and making my own changes.

Thanks for coming.

I can't wait to hear what you guys think.

Both: Hey. - Hey.

- Yes. - Yes, do you want to, uh...

- Yep. - Start?

- Listen, your new work is great.

- Aw. - Yeah.

The dialogue really pops. - Yeah.

- Um, the new ending is actually really good.

- It's better, right? I told you.

- It's... it's...

- We got the emotion back in there.

- Yes. - Yeah.

- Mm-hmm? - We just, like...

We just have a few notes.

- Yeah, sure, of course. It's all a discussion.

- Okay. - So, uh, yeah.

- Terrific. - Hit me.

- Awesome. - Mm-hmm.

- So the first one, Uncle Stan.

I think we can just end with him at the carnival.

I don't think we need to go to the gelato store.

- Yeah, it's just... it's about my emotional journey,

the highs, the lows.

It's very moving.

- Honestly, does it really matter

if Uncle Stan got you a chocolate cone

or a waffle cone?

I don't think anyone's gonna care.

- You know, I really know this genre.

Like, I... trust me. - She knows it.

- Can I ask you guys a question?

- Mm-hmm.

- Do you want this to just be

like every other dead white girl podcast,

just about the body count?

We are better than that.

What I'm trying to do here is drag you

out of your Mar Vista, chicken Caesar comfort zone

and embrace something truly visionary.

All right? Let's ask the big questions.

Who's worse, the guy that puts the bolt in the cow's skull,

guilty,

or the people that sit around a restaurant and eat it?

- I just...

I don't think we need to get into that.

I think people might just tap the fuck out.

- You know, all I'm trying to do

is just elevate the material, okay?

So, uh, yeah. Any more notes?

- Actually, yes. - Yeah, we do.

Um, one more. And this one we can't budge on.

We gotta cut your last line, "Who's next?"

- Mm...

- The deal was no more murders, so there's no more next.

- Sure, yeah.

Between us, there's no more, right?

But the audience, they don't need to know that.

You know, I mean, it can't be

"Interview with a Retired Serial Killer."

Guys, come on, that's not hot.

You know? - It's not hot.

- Our selling point here is that I am still active.

I'm out there, watching.

Who's next?

You feel that? See?

It sells jeopardy, danger, stakes.

That's what's gonna get our fans excited.

- We're not comfortable being a part of a project

that's promising future murders.

- Guess you should have thought about that

before you got into business with a fucking serial killer.

- You did say this was a discussion.

- Oh, yeah, no, and it is. - Okay.

- Always is. It always is.

Until it isn't.

In the end, there does need to be

one voice that's in charge of the creative.

- Sure.

- We got the Stanley fucking Kubrick...

- Okay. - Of serial killers here.

- So Uncle Stan stays in, "Who's next?" stays in,

and we go with my title, right?

All good?

- I think that's... Okay, I think that's fine.

- Mm-hmm. - Right?

- Yeah, all good. - Great.

You are not gonna regret this.

I'm gonna upload it onto the server.

- Server?

No, I got the VPN ready. - Yeah.

- No, no, no. VPN's not secure enough.

I got an off-shore Russian server.

It's totally untraceable.

- Oh, my God, what? - Don't ask.

- Okay. - Guys...

I think we should toast. - Mm.

- Yeah? Come on.

- Sure, let's do it. - Yeah?

"Based on a True Story."

both: "Based on a True Story."

- Welcome to "Based On A True Story:

The Westside Ripper Speaks," season one.

What you're about to hear has never been done before.

An interview with... - Nathan.

- An active serial killer. - Nathan.

- Hey. - Hey.

Michelle, how are you? - Good, good.

Quick question. - Sure, hit me.

- That friend of yours at the Fun Zone the other day,

the hot dad?

- The hot dad?

Are you talking about Matt?

- Yeah. - What is he like?

- Um, I have no idea.

I mean, I don't really know him that well.

I just met him. - Oh.

Just wanted to check in with you

if he was good people.

'Cause we have a playdate coming up.

- A playdate? - Yeah!

Yeah. Our kids are hangin' out.

- I don't know if that's a...

- I mean, it's not a weird, sexy date, per se,

unless he wants to make it one,

which would be kind of awesome...

- Yeah, no, I... - But, um...

- I just want to be honest with you,

I can't really vouch for him.

I mean, LA guys, right? - Yeah.

- You gotta be careful out there.

- As long as there's no red flags or anything.

- i...

- What's the worst that could happen?

- Listen, I can't totally vouch for him.

- That's... oh, one more thing. - I just met him.

- The cops were here for you again.

- What? When? - Yesterday, the same ones.

What is going on?

Do you have a secret life or something?

- Me? No.

I wish.

- Okay, well, can you, um, call them?

'Cause the LAPD hanging around the Pilates room

isn't a great look.

- Yeah, sure. - Okay.

- I'm on it. - Okay, bye.

Wish me luck.

- Bye.

- Nice. All right.

Good, good. - Let's go again, Dad.

- Ready?

Nice, okay. Nice, nice, nice, good job.

All right, cool, I'm gonna show you how to hit this.

Cheat a little bit this way. Yep.

You start here, and then you go high, low, high, all right?

Come on.

Ready? - Yep.

Thanks, Dad. - You got it, buddy.

All right. Let's do this.

- Babe, hey! Hi.

- Hey, you okay? - Yeah.

- What are you doing here? - No, I'm good.

The new numbers are dropping in five minutes, the downloads!

So I wanted to be here with you.

- Holy shit, already? That was fast.

- I know. - What do we need?

- Well, "Sisters In Crime," first 48 hours,

did half a million downloads, so...

- Half a million? - I know.

- That's a fuckin' lot.

- Yeah, but we're gonna be a hit.

We're gonna blow them out of the water.

So exciting. - Listen, uh...

- What?

- I don't wanna do the alibi.

- Why? What do you mean?

- The cops came back again.

- Shit, really?

- Yeah. They're not gonna stop.

I don't wanna do it.

Look at this kid.

Look at the way he looks at his dad.

I want my kid to look at me that way.

- Ew, that's Lewis Heeney. He's a total fucking creeper.

He tried to fuck me at the luau party.

- What? - Yeah.

He hits on all the pregnant women.

Everyone knows that. He's a real fuckin' weirdo.

So you might want to find another example.

- Okay, fine. He's not great.

But I don't want my kid to remember me

as a guy who helped a fuckin' serial killer.

- We're not helping him. We're stopping him.

Your kid is gonna remember a hero.

And that's... - Oh, fuck.

- What? - The cops are back.

Fuck. Shit.

- Okay, let's, uh... - They're fuckin' here.

- Let's just go take a walk, okay?

Yeah, let's just kind of walk quickly.

It's... okay. - We gotta think, okay?

We just need a minute to think.

- Let's go... - I'm...

- Let's go this way. - Where are we going?

- Let's go for the stairs. - Stair, really?

- Go with the stairs. - Oh, great.

- Come on, come on. - That's great.

- Okay, okay? You good?

Can you go any faster? - Pregnant women love stairs.

Go, go, go, go, go.

- Oh, my God.

- Fuck, they're coming. - Okay, you're acting crazy.

- Okay, we gotta think this through.

- You gotta calm down. - Should I run? I'm gonna run.

- Give me a kiss. I'm gonna run.

- You're not gonna run. They know where we live.

There's no running. - Okay.

What am I gonna say to them? What the fuck am I gonna do?

- Listen, we are literally a minute away

from all of our dreams coming true.

Do you understand that? - What if it tanks?

What if I'm selling my soul for nothing?

- Okay, what is the alibi?

What is the movie that he said? The alibi.

- I think it was the, uh... Was it "The Rock"?

- I think it was "Con Air." - No, it wasn't "Con Air."

"Snake Eyes." - This isn't a guessing game.

- What the fuck was it? - Just... I don't...

Listen, we have ten...

Wait, we have literally ten seconds.

If you do not alibi this guy,

our entire house of cards falls down, okay?

Do you understand that? - You gotta go.

- Okay, okay. Okay, listen to me.

Listen to me. Alibi, alibi, alibi.

If you want to. It's your choice.

If you don't alibi, I swear to...

- No, no, no, babe. Babe, I don't know what to do.

- There he is.

- Hey.

- Just the man we're lookin' for.

- Hey, I'm still waiting for my spin class.

- Let me... let me work on that...

- All right. - And I'll get back to you.

- Sweet, sweet. - What's up?

- The night of the Chloe Lake murder,

when you left the bar, where'd you go?

- Where'd I go?

I went home.

- Were you alone? Anyone with you?

- Was anyone with me?

- What did you say? What did you say?

What happened? How'd it go?

- I said "Face/Off."

- "Face/Off." Oh, my God, I love you.

This is amazing. This is amazing.

I love you so much.

- Let's check out the numbers. - Okay, yes, let's do it.

- Here, okay? Have a seat.

- I just... I want you to know

I'm so proud of you.

And, um, you really did the right thing.

- Okay, take it easy.

- Well, you know, semi-right thing.

Have it right here.

It's so exciting!

- It's gonna work. Here we go.

Let's see those half a million downloads.

- Holy shit.

- Nice shot, Dad.