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Man: ACTUALLY, YOU GET OVER IT FAIRLY QUICK.

YOU MIGHT NOT THINK SO, BUT IT TRUE.

YOUE DRIVING ALONG WITH A MAN

WHO BEEN TOLD HE DYING,

AND YET, EVERYTHING KEEPS GOING ON.

I MEAN, IT HAD BEEN HARD ENOUGH ROOMING WITH HIM

WHEN HE WAS WELL.

HE CHEWED THIS DISGUSTING TOBACCO,

HE PISSED IN THE SINK, AND AS A CATCHER,

HE WAS A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF PROMISE

WORTH 2 CENTS ON DELIVERY.

MOST PEOPLE DIDN EVEN KNOW HE WAS WITH THE CLUB.

AND DUMB.

HE WAS ALMOST TOO DUMB TO PLAY A JOKE ON.

AND NOW HE BEEN PLAYED THE BIGGEST JOKE OF ALL.

Woman: BILL! OH, BILL!

HI, MOM.

OH, BRUCE, I SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

I SO GLAD YOUE HOME.

HEY, BRUCE! BRUCE, HOW ARE YOU, SON?

IT SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW YOU BEEN? OK.

YOUE LOOKING GOOD.

OH, I FEEL-- FEEL FINE.

DADDY, MAMA, I WANT YOU TO MEET HENRY.

YOU CAN CALL HIM ARTHUR, THOUGH.

OH, IL TELL YOU,

IT AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU HERE, HENRY WIGGEN.

I--I CAN BELIEVE THIS!

I CAN BELIEVE I HERE.

WONDERS NEVER CEASE, PAPA.

HOWDY, MR. BRUCE.

HI.

YOU ALL BETTER NOW?

W-WE WAS WORRIED.

WELL, I WAS IN GOOD HANDS.

Mom: I BET IT WAS COLD UP THERE.

NOT TOO DAMN COLD, MAMA.

Dad: BUT WHAT WAS WRONG?

NOTHING.

ARTHUR...

TELL ME WHY IN HELL

I SWAM UP AND DOWN THIS MUD A MILLION TIMES,

AND I NEVER DROWNDED,

AND WHY I NEVER GOT KILLED IN THE WAR IN VIETNAM,

OR WHY I NEVER GOT PLASTERED BY A TRUCK,

BUT I COME CLEAN THROUGH ALL THAT,

AND NOW I GET THIS DISEASE.

ARTHUR--

DON ASK ME QUESTIONS I CAN ANSWER.

WELL, IE BEEN HANDED A SHIT DEAL, BOY.

I DOOMED.

SH...

ARTHUR...

YOU KNOW THAT GAME YOU AND JOE JAROS PLAYED,

TEGWAR?

HOW YOU PLAY IT?

TEGWAR?

YOU DON KNOW HOW TO PLAY TEGWAR?

SPELL IT.

T-E-G-W-A-R.

STANDS FOR THE EXCITING GAME WITHOUT ANY RULES.

T-E-G-W-A-R.

NO RULES.

NO RULES AT ALL?

I-I NOT TOO SURE I UNDERSTANDING THIS GAME.

YOU MIGHT NEVER.

THROW DOWN IN THE MIDDLE, SIR.

WHY? NOBODY ELSE THREW DOWN IN THE MIDDLE.

THAT YOUR FIRST FLAG CARD.

HOW CAN YOU TELL?

IT THE RULES.

WHEN THE RULES ARE ON.

WHAT RULES? I HAVEN BEEN NOTICING ANY RULES.

THEY--THEY SEEM TO KEEP CHANGING.

5 AND 6 ARE 11, THAT WHAT.

ATTA BOY, BRUCE.

RULES CONCERNING WHAT?

THE RULES OF ARITHMETIC.

I WOULDN PLAY THIS GAME FOR MONEY,

I CAN TELL YOU.

DON BE DISCOURAGED.

DON BE DISCOURAGED.

SEE, IT WAS NO DOUBLE BIRDIE.

DOUBLE BIRDIE?

WHEREAS FOR IT COULD HAVE BEEN A SPREAD EAGLE.

PROBABLY YOU BEEN PLAYING

SOUTHEASTERN TEGWAR ALL YOUR LIFE,

BUT IN THE MAJORS,

THE BOYS ALL PLAY WESTERN CANADIAN-STYLE,

WHICH, FOR MY MONEY, IS MUCH FASTER

AND LEAVES YOU FREE FOR A BUTCHERED HOG

MOST ANY TIME, WHEREAS--

WHEREAS, UH, WHEREAS--

WHEREAS WHAT?

WHEREAS IT, UH,

KEEPS YOU FROM DROPPING DEAD ON THE BOARD.

Henry: HELLO THERE, OLD MAID!

HI. HEH.

OHH. MMM! HA HA!

HI. HI, BRUCE.

HI. HOW ARE YOU? HOLLY, BELIEVE ME,

SEEING YOU HERE IS A REAL PLEASURE.

THANK YOU.

MY SON TALKED A WHOLE LOT ABOUT YOU.

OH, WONDERS NEVER CEASE.

HOW ARE YOU?

OH, I FINE. NEVER BETTER.

THESE ARE THE MEDICAL PAPERS,

JUST IN CASE.

THE DOCTORS GIVE M TO ME IN MINNESOTA.

GOD, IT WAS COLD UP THERE.

WHAT YOU THINK OF YOUR CONTRACT?

I DIDN READ IT.

LIKE HELL YOU DIDN READ IT.

I WAS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL WHERE SLAVERY WENT OUT

WHEN LINCOLN WAS SHOT.

HENRY, WHO KNOWS ABOUT HIM?

WELL, YOU KNOW, I KNOW,

THE MAYO CLINIC KNOWS. MAYBE HIS FATHER.

Holly: AND BRUCE KNOWS.

Henry: THE TALK OF THE AQUA CLARA CAMP THAT SPRING

WAS A KID NAME OF PINEY WOODS,

A WILD, CRAZY CATCHER OUT OF A PLACE CALLED GOOD HOPE, GEORGIA.

THE SPORTS WRITERS ALL CALLED HIM

"DUTCH GOOD HOPE FROM GOOD HOPE."

IN THE CATCHING DEPARTMENT, DUTCH NEEDED HOPE.

COME ON, PINEY, EH, LET GO.

STAND CLOSE. PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER SHOULDERS.

I RATHER NOT.

Dutch: I VERY HIGH ON THEM, VERY HIGH.

GOT ALL THE TOOLS. HE HITS THEM A MILE.

HE RUNS LIKE A DEER.

HIS BACKSIDE ONE-MILE WIDE

BY ACTUAL MEASUREMENT WHERE HIS POWER IS.

DRINKS MILK BY THE TONS.

WHO WILL STAY?

AH! HOW DO I KNOW IN FEBRUARY

WHO IL LOVE IN APRIL WHEN THE FLOWERS BLOOM, HUH?

NO, NO. FLOWERS BLOOM IN MAY.

IT APRIL SHOWERS.

SMARTEST PROSPECT IN YEARS.

HENRY, HOW MANY CATCHERS ON A TEAM?

NEVER THAT MANY.

HERE THE PREMIUM FROM GEORGE, ARTHUR.

GRACIAS, GEORGE.

FIRMA TU CONTRATO, ARTHUR.

GEORGE SAYS, "SIGN YOUR CONTRACT, ARTHUR."

OOH-YOO, OOH-YOO, OOH-YOO-WHEE.

MORNIN ARTHUR, HOLLY.

HEY, UGLY.

UH, I BELIEVE THIS, UM,

BRINGS MY INSURANCE UP TO DATE.

KEEP IT COMIN IT YOUR FUTURE.

WELL, UH, I HAVE TO SAVE SOME FOR THE PRESENT, HOWEVER,

SUCH AS THESE LITTLE GIRLS RUNNINAROUND HERE

WITH THEIR EYE ON HANDSOME BALLPLAYERS.

HOW MUCH YOU HOLDINOUT FOR?

$127,500.

WELL, EVEN IF I BELIEVED YOU,

YOUL NE-E-EVER GET IT.

BUT AS A VETERAN OF MANY A HOLDOUT,

LET ME GIVE YOU A PIECE OF SOUND ADVICE.

DON HANG IN THE PARK,

BECAUSE YOUR EYE GLEAMS, YOUR HAND ITCHES,

AND YOU WISH YOU WERE PLAYINBALL.

THIS SHINES THROUGH, ARTHUR, AND ITL COST YOU MONEY.

IT THE BOSS.

DON BE TOO COMICAL. JUST ANSWER IT.

LET IT RING A WHILE.

FISHING PIER. TAPEWORMS FOR SALE.

HEY, ARTHUR, HOW ABOUT COMING DOWN

AND PLAYINA GAME OR 2 OF TEGWAR?

IT NOT THE BOSS. IT JOE JAROS.

ARTHUR, COME ON DOWN.

THIS PLACE IS SWIMMING WITH FISH.

ALL RIGHT, WEL BE RIGHT DOWN.

Joe: WHO WITH YOU?

WELL, ME AND BRUCE.

BRUCE PEARSON?

YEAH, UM...

HIM AND ME

PLAYED QUITE A BIT OF TEGWAR

OVER THE WINTER.

HE VERY GOOD.

IL STAY HERE.

FORGET IT FOR TODAY, JOE.

NO, HENRY, YOU GO.

BRUCE AND I WILL STAY HERE.

GO ON. GO ON.

YOU OK?

YEAH. YOU GO ON.

IL BE RIGHT DOWN, JOE.

WOULD YOU MIND IF I WATCH?

QUARTER TO 11:00.

NO, I SAID "WOULD YOU MIND IF I WATCH"?

P.A.: PAGING MR. DONALD GRAHAM.

MR. DONALD GRAHAM.

YOUE HENRY WIGGEN.

HEY, WOULD YOU MIND IF I SIT IN?

I READ YOUR BOOK, TOO.

I DIDN READ YOUR BOOK, ARTHUR,

BUT I WILL. I WILL. I PLAN TO.

SO FAR, IE JUST BEEN CONCERNED

WITH THE PARTS THAT CONCERN ME.

HEY, WHO DID YOU USED TO BE?

I JOE JAROS. I A COACH.

THAT GOOD.

I USED TO BE A BABY.

HEH HEH.

THESE ARE FIFTH AND 2...

FIFTH AND QUEEN...

RED ROOSTER.

BANJO!

HA HA!

THAT THE FIRST NATURAL BANJO

SINCE THE DAYS OF JOE DIMAGGIO

IN ST. PETERSBURG.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. 15 AND 15 IS 31.

HEY, WHAT THE NAME OF THIS GAME?

15 PLUS 15 IS 32.

32. OH, THAT RIGHT.

THAT A DOUBLE HONEYBEES.

NOW, I NOT SURE IF I TOO CLEAR

ON SOME OF THESE NEW RULES.

WHAT NEW RULES?

THERE HASN BEEN ANY NEW RULES

SINCE THE BLACK SOX SCANDAL IN 1919.

BIG LEAGUE TEGWAR IS BIG LEAGUE TEGWAR

KNOWN TO EVERY BIG-TIME BALLPLAYER

FROM BOSTON TO CALIFORNIA.

AND THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE PLAY WITHOUT PEARSON, JOE.

ARTHUR, YOUR MIND IS CRUMBLING.

HE TOO DAMN DUMB.

PROMISE ME, JOE? I PROMISE YOU!

I PROMISE YOU. I PROMISE ON A STACK OF CARDS.

ANYWAY, THE WAY THAT BANJO BEEN HITTING,

PEARSON SURE TO DRIFT DOWN AND OUT.

THEYE SENDING HIM DOWN?

I DIDN SAY NOTHING.

WELL, DUTCH SAID IT, THEN. THEYE RELEASING PEARSON?

WELL, DON IT LOOK QUITE OBVIOUS?

WELL, THEY CAN DO THAT.

P.A.: PAGING MR. WIGGEN.

PAGING MR. HENRY WIGGEN.

PLEASE PICK UP THE HOUSE TELEPHONE.

FORGET IT, ARTHUR.

STICK AROUND. HANG OUT.

THAT THE BOSS.

I GOTTA GO, JOE.

DAMN IT, ARTHUR, STICK AROUND!

Henry: FAIR?! YOU CALL THAT FAIR?

I WAS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL WHERE SLAVERY WENT OUT WHEN LINCOLN WAS SHOT!

YEAH, SO YOU WROTE ACROSS YOUR CONTRACT.

OH, NOT ACROSS MY CONTRACT.

MAYBE THE CONTRACT OF SOME TURNSTILE TURNER.

YOUNG BALLPLAYERS OFTEN END UP

OLD TURNSTILE TURNERS.

ALL RIGHT, LET ALL CALM DOWN.

YOUE LOOKING VERY HEALTHY THIS MORNING.

HENRY, YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT $125,000.

I CAN DO BUSINESS THAT WAY.

WEL JUST HAVE TO GET ALONG WITHOUT HIM.

SOME OF THOSE PITCHERS OUT THERE YESTERDAY AFTERNOON

LOOKED VERY PROMISING.

SO I HEAR.

ANY ONE OF M MIGHT WIN 4 OR 5 GAMES,

IF GOD DROPS EVERYTHING ELSE.

I HAVE IN MY MIND

AN ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM FIGURE OF...

$60,000.

IF YOU HAVE A GOOD YEAR THIS YEAR,

WEL MAKE IT BACK TO YOU NEXT YEAR.

I WILL GO ON YEAR AFTER YEAR

BEING PAID FOR THE YEAR BEFORE.

NOW, THAT SHORTS ME A YEAR IN THE LONG RUN.

WEE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE.

EVERY TIME BRADLEY OPENS HIS MOUTH,

I RAISING MY ABSOLUTE MINIMUM FIGURE!

ALL RIGHT, HENRY--

BRADLEY. BRADLEY!

I HAVE IN MY MIND AN ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM FIGURE OF $60,000.

BUT SHE HAS IN HER HEART 10,000 MORE.

THAT $70,000.

I THINK YOU JUMP AT THAT ARRANGEMENT.

Bradley: LEAP AT THAT ARRANGEMENT.

IL TAKE IT.

GOOD. WELL, THEN, IT SETTLED.

THERE SOMETHING I WANT INSTEAD OF MONEY.

NOTHING INSTEAD OF MONEY.

OH, MONEY CAN BUY NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS.

THERE ONE CLAUSE YET TO GO IN MY CONTRACT.

ALL RIGHT, SHOOT.

THERE MUST BE A CLAUSE SAYING THAT I AND BRUCE PEARSON

WILL STAY WITH THE CLUB TOGETHER,

OR ELSE GO TOGETHER.

WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ONE MUST HAPPEN TO THE OTHER.

TRADED. SOLD. WHATEVER.

WEE GOTTA BE TIED IN A PACKAGE

ON ANY DEAL UNDER THE SUN.

Bradley: IE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING.

NO. ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION.

REASON ONE, DUTCH WOULD NEVER HEAR OF--

LOOK HERE, HENRY.

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE TO GET STARTED THIS WAY--

BRADLEY, NOW LET JUST THINK BEFORE WE SPEAK.

LOOK, WE WON BOTHER TO WRITE IT DOWN.

I GIVE YOU MY SOLEMN WORD.

NO VERBAL WORDS. MUST BE WROTE IN.

BRADLEY, CALL DUTCH.

IT HIS ONE DAY OFF.

CALL HIM.

THEY SHOULD PUT ZIPPERS ON PAJAMAS.

TELL HIM YOUR CLAUSE.

OH, SO IT YOU WITH THE SPECIAL CLAUSE, ARTHUR.

IL BET IT A DILLY.

BRADLEY, RUN AND GET ME A WET RAG, HUH?

EVERYBODY THINKS THEYE SPECIAL.

STERLING MUST BE SHOT FOR HAY FEVER

WITH MEDICINE MADE OUT OF THE PISS OF A HORSE.

TERUCCI MUST HAVE CONTACT LENSES...

GONZALEZ MUST HAVE A BUDDY ALONG

TO TRANSLATE IN SPANISH,

AND GOLDMAN MUST GO HOME FOR PASSOVER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW, ARTHUR...

CHINESE NEW YEARS?

I WANT A CLAUSE TYING ME IN A PACKAGE WITH PEARSON.

Woman: IL BET HE OWES YOU MONEY.

JEEZ, BRADLEY,

YOU AIN GOT MUCH STRENGTH IN YOUR HANDS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "TIED IN A PACKAGE"?

IF HE SOLD, I MUST BE SOLD,

OR IF HE TRADED, I MUST BE TRADED, SAME PLACE.

WHEREVER HE GOES, I GO.

WELL, THIS IS TELLING ME WHO I MUST KEEP AND WHO NOT,

WHICH NOBODY EVER TOLD ME BEFORE,

AND NOBODY WILL EVER TELL ME AGAIN AS LONG AS I UPRIGHT.

IF IT MONEY, TALK MONEY, AND GOOD LUCK.

THEY OWN ALL THE BANKS.

TALKING MONEY ONE THING,

BUT TALKING BUSINESS IS ANOTHER.

AND I AS SOON AS TRADE THE WHOLE CLUB FOR A TIN OF BEANS

AS LEAVE ANYONE TELL ME WHO STAYS AND WHO GETS CUT LOOSE.

I SORRY TO HEAR THAT BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT CLAUSE

THEREL BE NO CONTRACT.

WELL, THEN THEREL BE NO CONTRACT,

AND I MUST SUFFER ALONG THE BEST I CAN.

SEVERAL OF THOSE YOUNG PITCHERS LOOKED GOOD OUT THERE YESTERDAY.

YEAH? GOOD FOR WHAT?

WILL YOU GO SELL INSURANCE?

YOU DON KNOW A SOUL ON EARTH

TO SELL INSURANCE TO OUTSIDE OF BALLPLAYERS.

WILL YOU SELL INSURANCE TO OTHER INSURANCE AGENTS, HUH? HEH HEH HEH.

AND WHERE WILL YOU FIND PEOPLE WITH MONEY,

WITH THE LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK?

HENRY, I HARDLY EVER EVEN SAW YOU WEAR A NECKTIE.

BRADLEY...SHUT UP, WILL YOU?

GO GET ME A COKE.

WHAT UP BETWEEN YOU TWO, ARTHUR?

WHAT ARE YOU, A COUPLE OF FAIRIES OR SOMETHING?

THAT CAN BE.

BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I RUN ACROSS FAIRIES IN BASEBALL.

JEEZ, THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.

OH, YOUL UNDERSTAND IT SOMETIME.

WHEN? OH, I DON KNOW.

MAYBE SOON. MAYBE NEVER.

OH, IL CERTAINLY BE HANGING FROM MY THUMB WAITING TO HEAR.

CHRIST ALMIGHTY, IE SEEN YOU ON DAYS WHEN YOU HATED PEARSON.

WHEN YOU ATE HIM OUT AS BAD AS I MYSELF EVER ATE HIM OUT.

I SAW YOU ONCE GET UP FROM THE TABLE AND WALK AWAY.

Woman: WELL, THAT COULD BE LOVE AS WELL AS HATE.

IT AIN LOVE.

I DIDN MEAN FAIRY LOVE.

I REMEMBER ONE TIME HE COMES STORMING INTO MY OFFICE.

YOU CAUGHT HIM PISSING IN THE SINK IN PITTSBURG.

CLEVELAND.

URINATING.

MUST THIS CLAUSE GO ON FOREVER? HMM?

I HAVE 4 CATCHERS.

I HAVE A CATCHER THAT SOLD ON THE SAUCE,

AND A BLACK CATCHER THAT CANNOT HIT...

AND A MOTORCYCLE CATCHER, WILD AND CRAZY,

AND PEARSON, WHO JUST PLUM DUMB.

I GIVE BOTH MY RIGHT EYES FOR SAM MOTT OF CINCINNATI.

BUT CINCINNATI WANTS ARTHUR,

AND I CAN GIVE ARTHUR.

OR IF I GIVE YOU I MUST HAVE SCUTTER OR FALKLAND

WHICH THE SON OF A BITCHES WON GIVE ME

EXCEPT FOR ALL MY RIGHT-HAND POWER.

I COULD SPARE MY RIGHT HAND HITTING IF I CUT A DEAL WITH PITTSBURGH,

BUT PITTSBURGH WANTS ARTHUR,

AND IE ALREADY GIVEN YOU TO CINCINNATI ON PAPER FOR SAM MOTT.

SO, I MUST PLAY MY OLD CATCHER ON DAYS

WHEN HE GETS HIMSELF SORTED OUT,

AND PLAY MY BLACK CATCHER ON DAYS WHEN MY HITTING IS HITTING,

AND PLAY MY MOTORCYCLE CATCHER

ON DAYS HE EVER COMES TO HIS SENSES,

WHICH SO FAR HE GIVEN ME NO SIGN OF REALLY HAVING ANY.

IL SHIP HIM DOWN TO QUEEN CITY

AND SEE IF THEY CAN TALK HIM OFF HIS MOTORCYCLE.

WE MUST NEVER HAVE ANOTHER MOTORCYCLE IN CAMP!

IE BEEN TRYING FOR DAYS TO GET SOME SLEEP.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I STOP AND THINK ABOUT IT,

I LIABLE TO WIND UP USING MY PLUM-DUMB CATCHER MORE AND MORE.

SOMEDAY YOUL UNDERSTAND.

NO, NO. FORGET ABOUT IT.

THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK.

ALL RIGHT. I WILL AGREE TO THE CLAUSE.

IE NEVER DONE SUCH A THING BEFORE,

AND I WOULDN DO IT NOW,

EXCEPT THERE A LOOK IN YOUR EYE

THAT TELLS ME IE GOT TO.

HEY, BRUCE. BYE.

HAVE A GOOD TRIP.

OK, I WILL. THANK YOU.

HEY, HOLLY. HOLLY. YOU DRIVE CAREFUL NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

BYE-BYE, BOYS.

I GONNA MISS YOU.

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.

IL CALL YOU COLLECT TONIGHT, OK?

I WILL. BYE-BYE. BYE, BRUCE.

BYE.

OH, BOY, I HOPE IF IT HAPPENS,

IT DON HAPPEN IN A BAD HOUR.

IT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT PROBABLY NEVER HAPPEN.

I GOT NO FAITH IN THOSE COCKEYED DOCTORS UP THERE.

CURVE BALL!

TOO BAD A FELLA CAN PITCH SPIT.

YEAH, I HAVE LOTS OF BREAKING STUFF AROUND.

SLIDER.

YOU SEE THE DIP ON THAT?

ARTHUR, IF YOU WAS ON ONE CLUB AND I WAS ON ANOTHER,

WHAT KIND OF A BOOK WOULD YOU KEEP ON ME?

IF I WAS TO KEEP A BOOK ON YOU,

I SAY TO MYSELF NO NEED TO KEEP A BOOK ON PEARSON

AUSE PEARSON KEEPS NO BOOK ON ME.

AUSE IF I STRIKE YOU OUT ON SOMETHING,

LIKE A CHANGE-UP IN HERE,

YOU DON COME BACK TO THE BENCH THINKING,

"THAT WIGGEN, HE STRUCK ME OUT IN HERE,

SO IL BE ON THE LOOKOUT THE NEXT TIME."

NO, NO. YOU COME BACK TO THE BENCH THINKING

"I THINK IL EAT A FRANK."

OR "GEE, I SEE A GREAT PAIR OF JUGS UP THERE IN THE STANDS."

SO BY THE TIME YOU COME UP AGAINST ME AGAIN,

YOU FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE TIME BEFORE,

SO IL JUST THROW YOU IN THE SAME PLACE AGAIN.

GET PAST YOU AGAIN, PROBABLY.

YOU GOTTA THINK, BRUCE.

THINK AND REMEMBER.

I GONNA START KEEPINA BOOK.

YEAH, EITHER IN YOUR HEAD, OR, UH...

WRITE IT STILL ON PAPER FOR A WHILE.

YOU ALREADY HAVE TERRIFIC POWER,

BUT POWER PLUS BRAINS IS THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN NOBODY AND SOMEBODY.

YEAH, WELL, IE ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY MUCH OF A NOBODY, THOUGH,

SO I GUESS WHAT I GOT TO DO IS I GOT TO DEVELOP BRAINS.

PLUS CONFIDENCE.

POWER AND BRAINS ARE NOTHING WITHOUT CONFIDENCE.

WELL, YOU ALWAYS HAD CONFIDENCE.

I NEVER HAD CONFIDENCE, ARTHUR.

NO, BUT I ALWAYS LOOKED LIKE I HAD IT, DIDN I?

DAYS WHEN I TIRED AND MY CURVE IS HANGING,

IT BULLSHIT THAT GETS ME THROUGH.

CROWD IN, LOOK FIERCE.

WORKS WONDERS.

AND HALF THE PITCHERS YOUE FACING,

THEYE JUST COUNTRY BOYS LIKE YOU,

OR ELSE COUNTRY BOYS FROM THE CITY.

COUNTRY BOY FROM THE CITY?

THEYE NO SMARTER THAN YOU.

YEAH, BUT IE NEVER BEEN SMART. THAT THE THING.

EVERYBODY SMART.

YOUE BEEN DUMB ON ONE COUNT ONLY.

YOU LET SOMEBODY TELL YOU YOU WERE DUMB.

DIDN YOU BUY AN ARCTURUS INSURANCE POLICY?

YEAH.

DIDN THAT PROVE TO BE A SMART MOVE?

WELL, NOW, AS FAR AS THAT GOES, I CAN ARGUE AGAINST THAT.

IS DUTCH SMART?

OH, YEAH. HE CERTAINLY IS.

WELL, IF YOU WERE SO DUMB,

WHY AIN DUTCH CUT YOU LOOSE?

WELL, HE MIGHT IN THE END.

OH, NO.

PINEY WOODS GOES DOWN, YOU STAY UP.

WHO SAYS SO?

I HEARD IT WITH MY OWN EARS.

YEAH?

YEAH.

SHIT, NOW THAT THE BEST NEWS IE HEARD SO FAR.

WHAT WRONG WITH BRUCE?

HE GAVE YOU THAT RING, DID HE?

WHO SAYS ANYTHING IS?

HE SAYS.

HE SAYS WHAT?

HE SAYS MARRY HIM AND CASH IN ON A BIG SURPRISE.

HE NUTTY.

YOU GET THAT WAY SITTINON THE BENCH TOO MANY YEARS.

WHAT WAS HE DOING IN MINNESOTA?

HE HAD PNEUMONIA.

NOW WHAT WOULD YOU GO ALL THE WAY TO MINNESOTA

WITH PNEUMONIA FOR?

WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, IT ISN CATCHING.

THINK I BE HIS ROOMIE IF IT WERE?

ROOMING WITH HIM ONE THING...

LOVING ANOTHER.

OH, KATIE, HONEY, WHY DON YOU GET YOURSELF MARRIED

AND WRITE YOURSELF SOME EXEMPTIONS?

WHY DON YOU PLAY BASEBALL FOR FREE, ARTHUR?

WHY SHOULD A GIRL GO AMATEUR

IF SHE GOT THE STUFF TO BE PROFESSIONAL?

I DON KNOW WHY YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT WRONG WITH HIM.

KATIE, IF I KNEW, YOU KNOW I TELL YOU.

Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WILL YOU PLEASE RISE AND JOIN US

IN SINGING OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM.

♪ OH, SAY CAN YOU SEE

♪ BY THE DAWN EARLY LIGHT ♪

♪ WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED ♪

♪ AT THE TWILIGHT LAST GLEAMING? ♪

♪ WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARS ♪

♪ THROUGH THE PERILOUS FIGHT ♪

♪ OR THE RAMPARTS WE WATCHED ♪

♪ WERE SO GALLANTLY STREAMING ♪

♪ AND THE ROCKET RED GLARE ♪

♪ THE BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR ♪

♪ GAVE PROOF THROUGH THE NIGHT ♪

WHY HE SENDING ME DOWN?

YOUL BE BACK UP, PINEY.

I OUGHTA BE BACK UP NOW.

STICK TO BUSINESS AND STAY OFF MOTORCYCLES.

I LOVE MOTORCYCLES.

LOOK AT THAT OLD WASHOUT.

DON LOSE YOUR TICKET. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BANJO.

GUITAR.

SAY HELLO FROM ME TO EVERYBODY DOWN AT POINT CITY, OK?

MAYBE SOMEBODYL DROP DEAD UP HERE,

OPEN UP A SLOT FOR ME.

WELL, ANYTHING POSSIBLE.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, IL TELL YOU THAT.

Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.

TODAY WE HONOR A RECENTLY ELECTED IMMORTAL.

BIG BENJAMIN SKYLAR.

BIG BEN, PITCHING FOR THE NEW YORK MAMMOTHS,

STRUCK OUT 312 BATTERS IN THE YEAR 1901.

TURN IT IN, BEN! TURN IT IN!

SAVE THIS ONE.

Announcer: BATTING FIRST FOR PITTSBURGH,

HEY, MAN, THIS ONE FOR DWAYNE.

...A LEFT-FIELDER, LYNDON BURROUGHS.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, HENRY, KID?! WHAT DO YOU SAY?!

ALL THE WAY, KID! ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, HENRY?!

COME ON, BOY. COME TO ME, KID.

WING IT THROUGH. WHAT DO YOU SAY, KID?

NOT GONNA HIT THE BALL! WHOO-HOO!

HE WUNG HER THROUGH. ALL RIGHT.

SAY, PEARSON.

I ALWAYS WONDERED, EXACTLY HOW TALL ARE YOU?

OH, HE ALWAYS DID WONDER.

YEAH? YEAH.

IE HEARD HIM.

YES, I DO.

I EXACTLY 5 FEET AND 11 INCHES.

I NEVER KNEW THEY PILED IT THAT HIGH.

Henry: WE WERE A STRONG CLUB.

WE HAD GREAT PITCHING WITH BOTH HANDS,

AND GOOD RELIEF, IF F.D. OR CASELLI CAME THROUGH.

WE HAD THE BEST OUTFIELD IN BASEBALL, BAR NONE,

AND THE BEST DOUBLE-PLAY COMBINATION.

IN FACT, I DIDN THINK THERE WAS ANYONE WHO COULD BEAT US,

EXCEPT MAYBE OURSELVES.

WE STARTED RAGGING EACH OTHER.

I KNOW YOUE DISCUSSING MY PERSONALITY

WHEN YOUE SPEAKING SPANISH.

NO SUCH THING!

DON TELL ME! SPANISH IS THE SAME AS ITALIAN.

WEE TALKING ABOUT MR. DUTCH, THE MANAGER.

SHUT UP, MAN.

I DON KNOW ABOUT YOU, BRUCE.

YOU KNOW THAT DAMN TOBACCO YOU CHEW?

YOU EVER HEAR OF OLD YELLER?

THAT WHAT THEYE GONNA CALL YOUR TEETH.

AND YOU HAVE THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT HAIRDO YOU WEAR, MAN.

YOU EVER SEEN THAT COMMERCIAL

WITH, UH, WHAT IS IT, JOE NAMATH OR SOMETHING,

ABOUT THE GREASY KID STUFF?

YOU GOTTA GET HIP LIKE THEM GUYS, MAN.

THAT PART OF, YOU KNOW,

THE WHOLE IMAGE OF A BASEBALL PLAYER.

HE HAS TO LOOK GOOD.

WHY DON YOU, LIKE, YOU KNOW,

READ SOME KIND OF FASHION MAGAZINES, SOMETHING LIKE ESQUIRE.

YOU KNOW, ME AND THE OTHER GUYS, WE READ ESQUIRE,

PLAYBOY AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

THAT WHY WE DRESS WELL.

BUT YOU, MAN, YOUE READING FARMER MAGAZINES

EVERY TIME I SEE YA.

Announcer: NUMBER 24. THIRD BASEMAN.

OCVATIO MALDONADO.

HEY! HEY!

WAIT A MINUTE!

HOLD IT! WAIT A MINUTE!

HEY! HEY!

HEY! HEY! HEY!

COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.

HERE.

COME ON. SHAKE IT OFF.

ARTHUR?

JOE TELLS ME YOUE BEEN PLAYING CARDS WITH PEARSON

OVER THE WINTER, HUH?

SURE. WHY NOT?

WHEN?

JUST BEFORE CAMP BEGUN.

WHERE?

DOWN AT BRUCE.

OH, WHAT WERE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?

YOU MEAN BESIDES PLAYING CARDS?

QUIT STALLING. WHY DID YOU GO THERE?

HE ALWAYS WANTED ME TO SEE WHAT HIS FOLKS WERE LIKE,

AND ALL HIS OLD STOMPING GROUNDS,

AND VARIOUS BEAUTIFUL WHEREABOUTS.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

WAS THE MISSUS WITH YA?

SURE.

YOU DROVE DOWN THERE BY CAR?

YES, INDEEDY.

VERY WELLING.

NOW WEE GOT YOU AND YOUR WIFE

LOCATED BY CAR IN GEORGIA.

LET BACK UP THE CAR

TO WHERE YOU SPOKE TO GOOSE

ON THE TELEPHONE IN CHICAGO.

YOU DROVE TO GEORGIA FROM NEW YORK,

VIA CHICAGO, DID YOU?

I NEVER DID SPEAK TO GOOSE IN CHICAGO.

YOU NEVER DID? IN OTHER WORDS,

YOUE TELLING ME GOOSE IS A LIAR?

NO, NO, I SUPPOSE WHAT HE MEANS

IS, UH, I SPOKE TO HIS MISSUS.

YOU KNOW VERY DAMN WELL WHAT HE PROBABLY MEANS.

DON PROCRASTINATE, ARTHUR.

YOUE STALLING THE WRONG MAN.

WHEN WAS IT?

PROBABLY AROUND IN FEBRUARY.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN CHICAGO?

BESIDES SPEAKING WITH GOOSE MISSUS?

UH...I WAS ONLY CHANGING PLANES.

TO WHERE?

MINNEAPOLIS.

FOR WHAT?

INSURANCE MATTERS.

NAME ME SOMEBODY YOU PLANNED ON SEEING

ON INSURANCE MATTERS IN MINNEAPOLIS.

ALECK OLSON.

JOE! JOE!

YEAH?

WHERE THAT ALECK OLSON FROM IN BOSTON

THAT SWINGS LIKE AN AX-CHOPPER?

OLSON?

YEAH.

OLSON? MINNEAPOLIS.

DID YOU SELL HIM ANY INSURANCE?

IT ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.

THIS IS ALL A LIE.

I GOT OLSON IN THE PALM OF MY HAND.

I GOT A FEELING THAT ALL YOUR LITTLE STATEMENTS ARE TRUE,

BUT WHAT THEY ADD UP TO IS ONE BIG LIE. AM I RIGHT?

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT THE FEELING I GOT?

I DON KNOW WHAT KIND OF FEELING YOU GOT.

YOU SAY YOU GOT SUCH A FEELING, I GUESS YOU DO.

I WISH YOU COULD BE WRAPPED IN A SACK

AND THREW IN THE RIVER.

ALL EXCEPT YOUR PITCHING ARM.

HEY, ALECK, CAN I SEE YOU A MINUTE?

YEAH, SURE. SURE CAN, HOW IT GOIN

HEY, FELLAS. YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK ABOUT FRATERNIZING.

YEAH. UNG!

DUTCH CALLED YOU.

YEAH. WHAT IT ALL ABOUT?

WHAT HE SAY?

WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MINNEAPOLIS.

I SAID, UH, BOUGHT A COAT, THAT ALL I KNOW.

OH, HE ASKED ABOUT INSURANCE.

DID I BUY INSURANCE OFF YOU YET? IS HE SELLING INSURANCE?

WHAT ELSE?

UH...HE ASKED ME, "THEN WHAT?"

I SAID, UH, GOT ON A BUS TO SEE PEARSON.

THAT ALL I REMEMBER.

WHAT UP, ARTHUR?

YOU GOT A GIRL OR SOMETHING?

DID YOU TELL HIM WHERE I WENT TO SEE PEARSON?

WELL, I FIGURED IF YOU GOT ON A BUS TO ROCHESTER,

YOUE GOING TO ROCHESTER, YOU KNOW?

AIN THERE ANY PLACES BETWEEN MINNEAPOLIS AND ROCHESTER?

CANNON FALLS?

IT JUST SO HAPPENS WE MET IN CANNON FALLS.

WELL, LISTEN, YOU CAN MEET ANYWHERE YOU WANNA MEET,

EXCEPT WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING IN CANNON FALLS?

FISHING.

IN 9 FEET OF ICE?

HUNTING?

YEAH, BUT YOU BE MOST LIKELY GO UP NORTH TO THE CITIES.

I MEAN, THAT WHERE MOST PEOPLE GO.

YOU GUYS GOT GIRLS IN CANNON FALLS?

ARTHUR, CONCERNING INSURANCE, I--

NO, NO, NO.

UP NORTH, EXACTLY WHERE I NEVER GO.

THAT WHERE EVERYBODY GOES, PACKED IN LIKE SARDINES.

THANKS, ALECK.

YEAH, FOR WHAT?

I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT INSURANCE.

I MEAN, COMBINING INSURANCE WITH ANNUITY, YOU KNOW?

NEXT TIME. I GOTTA WARM UP.

YEAH, BUT--

Henry: WE STARTED OUT NEAR THE TOP,

RUNNING NECK AND NECK WITH BALTIMORE AND CINCINNATI.

BUT ALL SPRING WE KEPT FLOATING,

NEVER DROPPING FAR BACK, BUT NEVER GAINING EITHER.

STAYING ALIVE WITH PITCHING ONE DAY AND POWER THE NEXT,

BUT NEVER PUTTING THE TWO TOGETHER.

WE WEREN PULLING LIKE A CLUB.

I WAS WORRIED, BUT DUTCH,

HE WAS GOING OUT OF HIS MIND.

IT NO SURPRISE HE KEPT HOUNDING ME,

TRYING EVERY WHICH WAY

TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO THE CLUB.

AIN YOU AFRAID YOUE GONNA BURN A HOLE IN YOUR CHEST?

I SIT HERE READING THE CHICAGO BOOK...

AND I KEEP TRYING TO FIGURE THE SON OF A BITCHES OUT.

BUT THEN YOU KNOW WHAT I WIND UP THINKING ABOUT?

WIGGEN AND PEARSON.

DAMN IT, ARTHUR,

YOU TOLD ME YOU WENT BACK HOME FROM MINNEAPOLIS.

SO IT THIS AGAIN.

NO, DUTCH, I DON BELIEVE I TOLD YOU THAT.

BUT YOU LEAD ME TO BELIEVE IT,

WHICH IS THE SAME THING.

YOU SEE OLSON?

SURE, I SEEN OLSON.

ABOUT WHAT?

INSURANCE MATTERS.

BY THE WAY,

YOU MENTIONED YOU CALLED THEM. MM-HMM.

DUTCH, I WISH YOU WOULDN PUSH THIS THING TOO FAR.

WHY NOT?

IT A PERSONAL MATTER.

FLIP UP THE BOWL.

HOW SO?

WELL...

YOUE PROBABLY GONNA THINK I SOME KIND OF HEEL AND ALL THAT...

BUT THERE THIS AIRLINE STEWARDESS.

HER NAME BEING WHAT?

MARY.

MARY WHAT?

SMITH? JONES? BROWN?

MARY PISTOCOLIOGNE.

GO ON.

I TRYING VERY HARD TO BELIEVE THIS.

SO YOU PUT A LOG BETWEEN CHICAGO AND MINNEAPOLIS

AND THEN YOU GET ON A BUS IN MINNEAPOLIS

AND YOU GO WHERE?

WELL, DIDN OLSON TELL YA?

YOU TELL ME.

CANNON FALLS, MINNESOTA.

FOR WHAT?

TO HUNT.

YOU NEVER HUNT.

I TAKINIT UP.

WHAT KIND OF A GUN DO YOU SHOOT?

NO KIND.

I ONLY WENT THERE AUSE PEARSON ASKED ME TO.

WHAT YOU CATCH?

NOTHIN YOU KNOW, WE CHANGED OUR MINDS AND WENT BACK.

BACK WHERE?

BACK HOME.

HIM TO GEORGIA AND ME TO NEW YORK.

YOU PROBABLY DRILLED THEM UP TO THE EYES BY NOW,

BUT I GONNA HEAR HOW THIS SOUNDS FROM HIM, ANYWAY.

BRADLEY!

SEND PEARSON IN.

I DON BELIEVE THIS COCKEYED BULL STORY

ABOUT MARY PISTOCOLIOGNE FOR ONE MINUTE,

BUT IF IT TRUE, YOUE MAKI A VERY BIG MISTAKE.

ANYBODY WITH A WIFE LIKE YOURS

SHOULD COUNT HIS BLESSINGS.

WHAT PLANE DID YOU GO UP TO MINNESOTA IN, PEARSON?

UH, NO PLANE, SIR.

IN MY CAR.

MM-HMM.

IS, UH, CANNON FALLS A NICE TOWN?

OH, YEAH.

WELL, TELL ME, WHAT IS IT LIKE?

WELL, IT A PRETTY NICE LITTLE TOWN WITH A MAIN DRAG

AND A FEW STORES, BUT VERY COLD. OH.

YEAH, WE COULDN FISH AND THE ICE WAS 9 FEET THICK, UH-HUH.

SO WE WENT HUNTIN

WHAT YOU SHOOT?

UH, NOTHIN NO. WE STARTED HUNTIN

BUT THEN WE CHANGED OUR MIND, SO, UH,

AUSE I DIDN FEEL LIKE KILLINANYTHING ANYMORE.

HMM. WELL, THAT KNOCKS THE HELL OUT OF HUNTING.

YES, SIR, I GUESS IT DOES.

THEN WHERE DID YOU GO FROM MINNESOTA?

UH, BACK HOME.

ALONE? YEAH.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, YEAH. WEREN WE, ARTHUR?

WEREN WE, WHO?

ME AND ARTHUR.

YOU TWO WENT DOWN FROM MINNESOTA BY CAR?

Bruce: YEAH.

FLIP UP THE BOWL AGAIN.

VERY WELL, ARTHUR.

I THINK WE MIGHT BE HEADING TOWARDS SOMETHING AT LAST,

FOR 2 DAYS AGO, I ASKED YOU WHO DROVE YOUR CAR

DOWN TO BAINBRIDGE

AND YOU SAID YOU AND YOUR WIFE DID,

BUT NOW I HEAR SOMETHING ELSE AGAIN.

DID YOU GO DOWN THERE AND BACK HOME FOR YOUR WIFE,

OR DID HER AND MARY PISTOCOLIOGNE

MAYBE DRIVE DOWN WITH ALECK OLSON,

OR OTHERWISE, WHAT THE HELL IS GOINON HERE?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW AS SURE AS YOUR NAME IS,

THAT I GONNA GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

WELL, DUTCH, THE JOKE ON YOU.

I LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.

BECAUSE IF YOUL BACK THE WHOLE THING UP,

YOUL REMEMBER I CALLED YA DURING THIS TIME ON THE TELEPHONE

AND GIVE YA A LITTLE PATTER, RIGHT,

AND, UH, I TOLD YA I WAS UP HOME, BUT ALL THE TIME,

WHERE WE WERE, WE WERE RIGHT DOWNTOWN ST. LOUIS...

AND WE WOULDA WENT OUT AND SEEN YA, BUT WE WEREN DRESSED,

AND, UH, WE DIDN WANT TO SEE THE MISSUS LIKE THIS

SO WE MADE A GAG OF THE WHOLE THING.

WELL, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME NOT WANTING TO GIVE AWAY A GAG LIKE THAT.

I MIGHT WANT TO USE IT ON SOMEBODY ELSE AT ANOTHER TIME.

GET OUT.

GET OUT!

Man: EEE KOO KOO KOO KOO KOO!

Man: COME ON, PEARSON, COME ON, BABY, LET GO! HIT IT! HIT IT!

HEY, BABY, TURN, BABY, TURN!

BACK! BACK! HUSTLE BACK HERE!

ATTA BOY, PEARSON!

KEEP YOUR HAND RIGHT, BRUCE!

NOT BAD, HUH, DUTCH?

YEAH, NOT BAD.

ARTHUR?

HOW DO I CHANGE MY BENEFICIARY?

WHO DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT TO?

TO KATIE.

SHE GONNA MARRY ME AT LAST.

WHEN?

WHEN YOU CHANGE THE BENEFICIARY?

ARTHUR, YOU GOT NO RIGHT

TELLINME WHO I CAN AND WHO I CANNOT CHANGE MY BENEFICIARY TO.

WHY DIDN SHE MARRY YOU LAST YEAR

OR THE YEAR BEFORE?

WELL, SHE NEVER LOVED ME BEFORE.

BEFORE WHAT?

BEFORE NOW.

HOW IS "NOW" DIFFERENT?

ARTHUR, WILL YOU CHANGE IT FOR ME

OR WILL YOU NOT CHANGE IT FOR ME?

IL WRITE IT RIGHT TO ARCTURUS.

WELL, WHEN?

TUESDAY.

WELL, WHY NOT NOW?

BECAUSE IT TIME TO GO TO THE BALLPARK.

OH, I SEEN YOU DASH OFF MANY A LETTER

STANDING AGAINST THE WALL OR WHEN YOU WAS IN A CAB.

THIS IS A MATTER OF $137,500.

NOW, A LARGE FIGURE LIKE THAT HAS GOTTA BE HANDLED SITTING DOWN

WITH PLENTY OF TIME TO WET YOUR PENCIL.

WELL, OK, BUT DON FORGET AND DO IT TUESDAY, HUH?

HEY, YOU, ARTHUR, COME HERE. I WANT TO TALK TO YA.

HOW ARE YOU, TOOTSIE?

PRETTY GOOD. I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHY CAN YOU MAMMOTHS GET IT TOGETHER, FOR HEAVEN SAKE?

WHAT WITH THE SQUABBLING?

YOU KNOW, CONSIDERING THE PERSONNEL OF THE ORGANIZATION,

YOU BE ON TOP OF IT IF YOU GUYS HUNG TOGETHER.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO ON THE ROAD, ANYWAY?

I THINK THAT WHAT WRONG.

OH, I SORRY, THIS HOTEL DOES NOT PROVIDE SUCH A SERVICE.

I SORRY.

AND I WISH SOMEBODY WOULD TELL DUTCH

TO BOLSTER UP THE CATCHING.

YOU KNOW, I GONNA TELL HIM MYSELF IF I SEE HIM.

YOU DO THAT, TOOTSIE.

QUICK, ARTHUR, COME HERE.

FOR GOD SAKE, THIS PLACE IS FULL OF FISH!

YEAH? IL GET BRUCE.

LET HIM SLEEP. IT TEGWAR TIME.

HE WANTS TO JOIN US.

LET HIM SLEEP! THE TWO OF US ARE ENOUGH.

THEN LET HIM SIT IN FOR ME.

YOU CAN DO IT, DON YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

I PROMISED HIM, JOE AND YOU--

SHH! YOUE WAKINHIM UP!

YOU PROMISED ME.

"PROMISED HIM, PROMISED ME."

YOU SOUND LIKE A SONG.

♪ OH, PROMISE ME THAT WE WILL NEVER PART ♪

WHAT ARE YOU TWO, ANYHOW? ROMEO AND JULIET?

ONE CAN PLAY CARDS WITHOUT THE OTHER? FORGET IT FOR TODAY, JOE.

ROMEO AND JULIET. I DON KNOW WHICH IS WHICH.

OH, JOE, HOW THE SHOW?

I WILL MAKE YOU SORRY FOR THIS, ARTHUR.

I REALLY WILL.

YOUE GONNA PAY FOR THIS, ARTHUR!

WHAT THE MATTER WITH HIM?

NOTHIN

WHAT ARE YOU READIN

WELL, YOU AIN GONNA BELIEVE THIS,

BUT I READI HOW SOME GIRL SAID

SHE WAS SEDUCED BY DRACULA.

BOYS!

TODAY WE START SHAKING THE SON OF A BITCHES OFF FOR GOOD.

HMM?

TO ME THEYE LIKE A... "LIKE A BUZZING FLY."

A BUZZING FLY...

BUZZING AROUND YOUR HEAD WHILE YOU SIT AND WATCH IT FOR A WHILE

WITHOUT RAISING YOUR HAND AGAINST IT...LIKE THIS.

BZZZ. BZZZ.

GO AHEAD, YOU BALTIMORE FLY.

BUZZ ME ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL SNATCH YOU OUT OF THE AIR

AND YOU WILL BUZZ ME NO MORE.

¿ES COMO UNA MOSCA VOLANDO, SABES? A RODO DE TU CABEZA.

DIEGO?!

FORGET IT, HUH?

THIS ISN SO MUCH FOR GEORGE ANYHOW

AS, UH, CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE

WHO CAN CONTROL THEIR FEELINGS TOWARD THEIR TEAMMATES.

RULE ONE: NO DISSENSION.

NO PELEAS.

BALTIMORE, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I SHOULD HAVE PULLED AWAY FROM YOU BY NOW

AND NOW I THINK I WILL SIMPLY PULL MYSELF TOGETHER

AND SQUASH OUT YOUR MISERABLE LIFE.

FLY, YOU ARE DONE FOR. WHACK!

SAS!

UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

BUT ONLY ONE THING IS WRONG.

I LOOK DOWN ON MY HAND AND I SEE NO FLY

AND I ASK MYSELF, "HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED IT,

"WHEN I ALREADY SEEN THE WHOLE LEAGUE, EAST AND WEST,

"AND I KNOW THAT I THE WINNER

IF I WORK TOGETHER."

Diego: AH, UNIDOS, UNIDOS.

BZZZ... BZZZ...

DIEGO, FORGET IT, ALL RIGHT?

FORGET? YEAH.

WHAT IS FORGET?

AH! FORGET IS NOT TO REMEMBER.

BUT MISTER, IT TOO QUICK NOT TO REMEMBER.

SHE JUST NOW-- BOOM-- HAPPEN, NO?

FORGET IT MEANS SCREW IT.

OLVIDATE, OLVIDATE, OLVIDATE.

NO SE SABE LO QUE ESTA DICIENDO EL.

WHY DID I LOSE WHEN I SHOULD HAVE WON?

BECAUSE THE FLY FLEW THROUGH MY FINGERS,

AND THE REASON THAT THE FLY FLEW THROUGH MY FINGERS

WAS BECAUSE THE FINGERS DID NOT WORK TOGETHER.

THE FIRST FINGER SAYING TO THE SECOND FINGER,

"I DON LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU WON PLAY CARDS WITH ME,"

AND THE SECOND FINGER SAYS TO THE THIRD FINGER,

"YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT FINGER NUMBER ONE

HAS BEEN SAYING ABOUT YOU,"

AND THE THIRD FINGER SAYS TO THE FOURTH FINGER,

"I DON AGREE WITH THE COLOR OF YOUR SKIN,"

AND THE FOURTH FINGER SAYS TO THE FIFTH FINGER,

"LET YOU AND ME CUT FINGER NUMBER 3 DOWN THERE

"AND TELL OUR DAMN WIVES TO DO THE SAME

AND BRING UP OUR CHILDREN LIKEWISE."

BOYS, BOYS!

THIS IS SUICIDE.

WORK TOGETHER, PLAY TOGETHER.

THIS WAY, WHEN THE WORLD SERIES TIME COMES AROUND,

YOUL BE THERE!

YOU WON BE HOME WATCHING IT ON ELECTRICAL TELEVISION!

♪ LOOK SHARP

♪ DE DE DE DE DE

♪ FEEL SHARP

♪ DE DE DE DE DE

Henry: DUTCH WAS RIGHT.

THE WHOLE CLUB GAVE ME THE CREEPS.

I WAS LIABLE TO WAKE UP SOME MORNING AND NOT SPEAKINTO MYSELF.

THE RAGGINWAS EVEN GETTINTO ME.

HEY, ROMEO, WHERE JULIET?

ROMEO WAS A GREAT LOVER, JOE.

ARE YOU JEALOUS?

AUSE IF YOUE JEALOUS,

I BELIEVE YOU CAN BUY THESE LITTLE PILLS

THAT GIVE YOU BACK YOUR PEP IN BED

YOU LOST WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG LIKE ME.

MIND YOUR TONGUE, BOY.

BE CAREFUL HOW YOU RAG YOUR ELDERS.

DON PULL YOUR RANK ON ME.

GIVE IS GIVE AND TAKE IS TAKE.

HOW YOUR WIFE?

NICE OF YOU TO ASK.

I AIN TOOK MY WIFE TO A BALL GAME IN 11 YEARS.

TAKE HER WHEN WE HIT CHICAGO.

I FIRST LAID EYES ON MY WIFE IN A BALLPARK.

I PROBABLY LOOKED LIKE YOU BACK THEN.

I USED TO SHAVE MY FACE EVERY DAY.

HAD HIGH HOPES.

MAKINTHE BIG CASH.

IT NEVER TOO LATE FOR AN ARCTURUS ANNUITY.

IT MUCH TOO LATE.

I TOO OLD.

NO, NO.

JUST SERIOUS MONEY,

I COULD FIX YOU UP WITH A PLAN AS A STARTER.

YOU KNOW, IE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU...

WHEN A GUY MY AGE HATES TO ASK A PUNK LIKE YOU

FOR TIPS ON THINGS.

WHAT DO YOU OWN?

WHAT DO I OWN?

I OWN 2 CATCHERS MITTS

AND A BASEBALL AUTOGRAPHED BY EACH AND EVERY MEMBER

OF THE NEW YORK MAMMOTHS.

PUT IT ALL TOGETHER, YOU GOT A FAN IN ANY HOCK SHOP IN CHICAGO.

WHAT I OWN IS DEBTS.

IT SIMPLE.

WEL DECLARE BANKRUPTCY.

THAT SOMETHING FOR A FELLOW TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

HOW?

IL SHOW YOU,

BUT YOU GOTTA DO ME ONE FAVOR.

WHAT THAT?

YOU GOTTA LAY OFF PEARSON.

I JUST JOKE AROUND.

IT SOMETHING TO KEEP UP MY SPIRITS, THAT ALL.

HE DYIN

YOU MEAN, SOON, ANY DAY NOW?

COULD HAPPEN ANY TIME.

DOES DUTCH KNOW?

NO. YOU MUSTN TELL HIM, EITHER.

HEL CUT HIM LOOSE IN A MINUTE.

ONLY ME AND YOU KNOW.

ONLY YOU AND ME KNOW?

ONLY YOU AND MEL EVER KNOW.

OHH...

ARTHUR? ARTHUR?

ARTHUR? ARTHUR?

WHO IS IT?

ARTHUR. ARTHUR, SOMETHING HAPPENING.

SOMETHING HAPPENING TO ME.

YEAH, YEAH. WHAT HAPPENING?

WHERE GOOSE? I NEED HELP.

WHAT FOR?

YOU KNOW...

WELL, WHAT DO I DO?

YOU CAN TALK. HORSE KNOWS.

HE TOLD ME.

YOU WEREN SUPPOSED TO MENTION IT.

ONLY MY ROOMIE.

YOU GOTTA GO GET THIS DOCTOR. DR. CHARLESTON P. CHAMBERS.

CHAMBERS.

I REALLY SORRY TO HAVE WOKE YOU.

I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN HAVE HAPPENED AT A BAD HOUR.

I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN HAPPEN THIS TIME.

MAKE IT BACK TO ME ANOTHER TIME.

NO, THERE NOT GONNA BE ANOTHER TIME.

DUTCHL PROBABLY BRING PINEY WOODS BACK UP NOW.

NOW, HE GONNA BE REAL HAPPY.

IS THE DOCTOR GONNA COME?

OH, YEAH, YEAH. GOOSE WENT AFTER HIM.

GOOSE? WHY GOOSE?

WELL, HE RIGHT DOWN THE HALL.

GOOSE, HE GOT A HEART OF GOLD.

YEAH, THAT HE NEVER REALLY SHOWED.

PROBABLY YOU TOLD HIM OR SOMETHING.

I NEVER-- I NEVER TOLD A SOUL.

YEAH. PROBABLY EVERYBODY WOULD BE NICE TO YOU

IF THEY KNEW YOU WERE DYING.

EVERYBODY KNOWS EVERYBODY DYING.

THAT WHY PEOPLE ARE AS GOOD AS THEY ARE.

I SCARED. HOLD ON TO ME.

WHO IS THE SICK BASEBALL PLAYER?

ARE YOU A BASEBALL PLAYER TOO?

YES, SIR. I HENRY WIGGEN, SIR.

THANK YOU.

IE HEARD THAT NAME.

NOT THAT I FOLLOW THE GAME.

IE DETESTED IT SINCE EARLY CHILDHOOD.

IT A DYING GAME, I TOLD.

HMM...

HMM...

HMM...

I THINK...

I THINK IT SOMETHING ELSE.

YOU MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

BESIDES WHAT THEY SAID IN MINNESOTA?

OH, I COULDN SAY ABOUT THAT.

I ONLY MEAN THAT...

I DON THINK THERE ANY DANGER

RIGHT AT THIS MINUTE.

OH, BOY.

AUSE IT SURE FELT LIKE IT.

NOW YOU CAN DO ME ONE FAVOR.

PLEASE SEND THE BILL CARE OF MY WIFE

IN PERKINSVILLE, NEW YORK,

AND ALSO NOT LEAK ANYTHING TO THE PAPERS.

I NOT IN THE HABIT OF LEAKING

MY HOUSE CALLS TO THE PAPERS.

ARTHUR, MEET MR. ROGERS.

MR. ROGERS IS A DETECTIVE.

SIT DOWN.

MR. ROGERS HAS BEEN DOWN TO BAINBRIDGE

AND IS NOW ON HIS WAY UP TO MINNESOTA

FILLING IN SOME FACTS FOR ME.

HOWEVER, YOU CAN SAVE US SOME TIME

BY FILLING IN THE REST OF THE STORY

WHICH MR. ROGERS HAS BEGUN.

IL CERTAINLY TRY MY DARNDEST.

TELL HIM WHAT YOU DISCOVERED.

IN BAINBRIDGE, GEORGIA, THE SUBJECT DOMICILE,

I DEVELOPED THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION.

I INTERVIEWED A MR. JAY CLARK,

THE MAILMAN.

AND A COLORED WOMAN NAMED JANET--

UH, NEVER MIND THE FACTS.

GIVE ME DETAILS.

THE DETAILS ARE THAT THE SUBJECT, PEARSON,

TOLD VARIOUS PEOPLE

THAT HE WASN FEELING SO GOOD,

AND WENT TO THE HOSPITAL IN ATLANTA.

THE HOSPITAL IN ATLANTA

RECOMMENDED THE HOSPITAL IN MINNESOTA.

IF YOU ACTUALLY SPOKEN TO ANYBODY WORTH THE WHILE,

YOU HAVE LEARNED THAT PEARSON HAS

THIS OLD-TIME HABIT OF RUNNING BACK TO ATLANTA

MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH.

I DOUBT YOU DEVELOPED THAT MUCH.

NO NEED TELLING YOU WHERE HE WENT IN ATLANTA.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

NATURALLY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SOMETIMES PICK UP

IN SUCH PLACES...

WHICH HE DID.

AND WHICH HE RATHER NOT HAVE THEM TREAT

IN ATLANTA SO CLOSE TO HOME

FOR FEAR OF IT GETTING BACK AND EMBARRASSING HIS MOTHER.

SO, UP HE GOES TO MINNESOTA WITH HIS FISHING GEAR,

FORGETTING THAT THE ICE IS 9 FEET THICK

THAT TIME OF YEAR,

CHECKS IN WITH THE MAYO BROTHERS,

GETS HIMSELF SHOT WITH A COUPLE OF MIRACLE DRUGS,

FLIRTS WITH THE NURSES, CHECKS OUT,

MEETS ME IN CANNON FALLS, WE HUNTED--

WHAT? WHAT?!

WE HUNTED UP SOME GIRLS WE KNOW.

DAMN IT.

PEARSON! PEARSON!

LOFTUS! BRADLEY, GET ME DOC LOFTUS!

Rogers: WHAT THE SUDDEN INTERRUPTION?

I DON KNOW. YOUE THE DETECTIVE.

I SEE THE GIRLS HE RUNS AROUND WITH.

SHEL GIVE IT TO THE WHOLE CLUB.

SHEL RUN RIGHT AROUND MY INFIELD!

TAKE DOWN YOUR PANTS.

ARE YOU OVER THE CLAP YET?

OH, YES, SIR, LONG AGO.

HOW DO WE KNOW? CHECK HIM OVER, DOC.

ALL I NEED IS THE CLAP RUNNING THROUGH MY BALL CLUB NOW.

HEY, ARTHUR, WHAT GOING ON AROUND HERE?

SOMETIMES I DON KNOW WHAT GOING ON SOMETIMES.

HE LOOKS JUST FINE TO ME.

NEVER BETTER.

HEALTHY YOUNG MAN IF EVER I SAW ONE.

UH, SHOULD I HEAD OUT AND DEVELOP THIS INFORMATION FURTHER

IN ROCHESTER, MINNESOTA?

ROCHESTER, MINNESOTA?

WHERE YOU GOT SHOT FOR THE CLAP.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

STAY WITH IT.

SOME THINGS HAVE YET TO BE EXPLAINED.

Henry: IN JULY WE DROPPED A COUPLE MORE GAMES

OFF THE PACE.

IT WAS STRANGE.

THE TEAM WAS GOING LOUSY,

YET I LED BOTH LEAGUES IN WINS.

SMELLIN25, MAYBE MORE.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE,

BRUCE PLAYED REGULAR.

HE DIDN BUST DOWN FENCES LEFT AND RIGHT,

BUT HE HIT STEADY--

.265, .270--

THAT NOT GREAT,

BUT FOR BRUCE, IT WAS FANTASTIC.

WOULDN YOU SAY...

THAT IF THE ARCTURIS COMPANY

DISCOVERED THAT YOUE BEEN WRITING

PHONY LETTERS TO PREVENT BRUCE

FROM CHANGING HIS BENEFICIARY--

OH, THAT NOT A PHONY LETTER. IT A REAL LETTER.

YOU WROTE IT. THE COMPANY WROTE IT.

IF YOU DIDN WRITE IT, YOUR WIFE WROTE IT.

THAT MY GUESS.

AND SEVERAL BASEBALL PLAYERS TELL ME

I PROBABLY RIGHT.

MAYBE IL GO CHECK THIS WITH THE COMPANY THEMSELF.

THEY TAKE AWAY YOUR LICENSE.

THROW ME IN JAIL, HUH?

RUIN YOU AS AN INSURANCE AGENT.

HMM...

WELL, IF YOU SAY ANYTHING TO THE ARCTURIS COMPANY,

IL STROLL DOWN TO A CERTAIN POLICE STATION

ON 66th STREET

AND SWEAR OUT A COMPLAINT AGAINST A CERTAIN...

ANSWERING SERVICE.

WELL...

I NOT REALLY ANXIOUS TO COMPLAIN

TO THE ARCTURIS COMPANY.

I DON SEE ANY REASON WHY YOU AND I CAN...

ARRANGE A SETTLEMENT OF THIS BETWEEN US.

A DEAL?

A COMPROMISE.

I CAN COMPROMISE WITH HIS MONEY.

THAT NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

YOUE SUPPOSED TO DO WHAT HE WANTS.

I DECIDING WHAT HE WANTS.

THAT ILLEGAL.

I KNOW.

Henry: FIRST WEEK IN AUGUST HIS FATHER HIT TOWN.

SAFE!

STRIKE!

Man: ALL RIGHT, THOMAS, LET GO, LET GO!

SAFE!

Man: GET A JOB, WIGGEN! GET A JOB!

ALL RIGHT, ARTHUR,

IT JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

IT THE LAST OF THE ORDER, DUTCH.

YOUE DONE A LOT OF PITCHING.

LET SOMEBODY ELSE MOP UP.

GO AHEAD. TAKE IT EASY.

LET GET CASELLI IN HERE. CASELLI!

OH, HENRY.

HELLO, MR. PEARSON.

PLEASE MOVE ON AND DON INTRUDE ON THE BALLPLAYERS.

THAT OK, JIM.

I--I AM INTRUDING ON YOU AND I KNOW IT.

NO, YOUE NOT.

YOUE--YOUE BEEN INTRUDED ON ENOUGH.

YEAH. IT A BALL GAME, SIR.

YOU WIN M, YOU LOSE M.

NO...

I MEAN REGARDING MY SON.

SIR?

YOU KNOW ABOUT...

THE CONDITION OF MY SON.

YES, SIR.

WELL, SO DO I.

YES, SIR, I SUSPECTED YOU DID.

HOW--HOW CAN HE BE SO SICK...

AND PLAY SO WELL?

I REALLY DON EVEN KNOW, SIR.

IF I KNEW, I SAY.

AND NOT PLAY SO WELL, BUT BETTER THAN EVER,

AND THAT A FACT.

THAT A FACT, SIR.

THERE NO MISTAKE ABOUT THAT.

SO, IE BEEN WONDERING

IF THEY DIDN MAKE SOME KIND OF A MISTAKE

OUT THERE AT THAT HOSPITAL IN MINNESOTA

BECAUSE IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN BE TRUE.

I--I, UH...

I DON THINK I COUNT ON IT, SIR.

THEY GOT AN AWFUL FAMOUS REPUTATION UP THERE.

I KNOW IT BEEN A TERRIBLE STRAIN ON YOU.

IT A LOT WORSE ON HIM, SIR,

AND ON YOU.

SO, IE BEEN--

IE BEEN THINKING...

AND I DON GENERALLY SWEAR...

YOU GO AHEAD AND YOU SWEAR MR. PEARSON.

PLAIN OLD MOTHER TALK

AIN NOWHERE NEAR STRONG ENOUGH

TO DESCRIBE SUCH A TERRIBLE MIX-UP AS LIFE, ARTHUR.

BUT I SWEARING. MY SON BEEN HANDED ONE SHIT DEAL.

YES, SIR.

HEY, WHAT YOU DO THAT FOR?

THAT A VERY, VERY JUVENILE THING TO DO.

DON DO THAT.

NOW, THEY BOMBED YOU OUT EARLY.

WHY DIDN YOU USE YOUR ENERGY IN THE GAME?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IT IN HERE FOR?

HONESTLY, DON--

DON MESS AROUND WITH THAT STUFF.

EVERYBODY GONNA BE VERY--

YOU WRITIN A NEW BOOK, ARTHUR?

NO, JOE, I BEING INTERRUPTED

BY SOMEBODY BUSTININ MY ROOM.

ABOUT YOU AND PEARSON?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?

I DIDN UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

WHAT SITUATION?

THE SITUATION YOUE PROBABLY WRITING THE BOOK ABOUT.

PROBABLY WHAT SITUATION?

THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT IT IS THIS.

I BELIEVE THAT PEARSON A BETTER TEGWAR PLAYER

THAN I EVER REALIZED.

HE SHOULD PLAY WITH US ALL THE TIME.

I SWEAR TO GOD, ARTHUR, I SHAKING HERE.

MY KNEES ARE TREMBLING, MY HEART IS SICK.

HE TOLD ME ON THE AIRPLANE.

WHO TOLD YOU WHAT?

GOOSE TOLD ME.

WHY?

IE BEEN CALLING PEARSON ROMEO AND JULIET.

WHICH IS WHICH, SEE?

NOW WHO YOU TELL?

NOBODY, ARTHUR.

ABSOLUTELY NOBODY.

I TOLD THE WIFE

AND THAT THE END OF IT.

WHY TELL THE WIFE?

ARTHUR...

I TELL THE WIFE EVERYTHING.

HELLO, DOC.

SYDNEY.

WHAT UP? WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

NOBODY KNOWS.

IL BET TOOTSIE KNOWS.

KNOWS WHAT, ARTHUR?

NOW, LOOK, I KNOW SOMETHING IS UP.

THE LONG DISTANCE BEEN FLYING FAR AND FAST.

I COULD USE 2 GRANDSTANDS ANY WEEKEND OR NIGHT.

YEAH, WELL, TICKETS ARE GONNA BE SCARCER

AND SCARCER FROM HERE ON IN.

WHY DID I SEE DOC LOFTUS JUST PASS THROUGH?

OH, DOC LOFTUS IN THE HOTEL?

DOC LOFTUS, TELEPHONE, PLEASE.

WHO WANTS HIM?

DUTCH WANTS HIM.

WHO SICK?

I DON KNOW. SOMEBODY IN MINNESOTA.

I NOT CLEAR.

LOOK, I ONLY CATCH A LITTLE BIT NOW AND THEN.

AND BESIDES, WHO UNDERSTANDS

THIS MEDICAL TALK THEYE TALKING?

BUT I BELIEVE HE HAS A LEAK IN HIS BLOOD SOMEWHERE.

ROOM SERVICE?

JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE.

NOTHING SERIOUS, BUT I DON KNOW WHO.

I NEVER HEARD OF IT.

BUT FOR 2 MORE GRANDSTANDS ON THE FOLLOWING DAY,

I CAN TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE.

YEAH, I HATE TO HEAR IT.

YOU ARE IN THE DOGHOUSE.

WHY YOU?

YOUE BEEN PLAYING YOUR HEART OUT.

IT SOME OF THOSE OTHER SO-CALLED BASEBALL PLAYERS

BEEN DRAGGINTHEIR BUTT.

THAT WHY WE HAVEN WON IT YET.

WHY ME?

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONTRACT, PEARSON.

MR. ROGERS, THE DETECTIVE, BROKE IT OPEN.

YOU SEE, VERY EASY.

JOE JAROS AND GOOSE WILLIAMS SPENT THE WINTER

IN MINNESOTA WITH PEARSON.

YOU KNOW I DIDN EVEN KNOW THEY WERE THAT FRIENDLY?

WELL, TAKES ALL KINDS.

THE TIME IS 8:06.

THIRD BASE SIDE, ARTHUR, LOWER DECK,

NOT TOO FAR BACK,

AND NOT BEHIND NO PILLARS NOR POSTS.

I TOLD YOU!

I TOLD YOU I GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

Henry: GOOD MORNING TO ALL.

GOOD MORNING.

YOU SHOULDN HAVE KEPT IT A SECRET, HENRY.

I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY I NOT CRYING.

KEEP YOUR HANKY HANDY, DEARY.

MAKES YOU THINK IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOUR OWN SON.

IT UPSET JOE SOMETHING TERRIBLE.

DON YOU THINK WE DISCUSSED IT ENOUGH

AS FAR AS HOW HORRIBLE IT IS?

TONIGHT IS ANOTHER BALL GAME AS USUAL.

Joe: MAYBE WE CAN GET HELP FROM THE COMMISSIONER.

WE CAN GET HELP THERE AND KEEP IT IN THIS ROOM

AT THE SAME TIME.

WELL, THEN LET THE FACTS OUT.

IT WOULDN BE HUMAN.

IS IT HUMAN TO LOSE?

WEE CALLING IN PINEY WOODS

FROM QUEEN CITY FOR EXTRA CATCHING.

READY ON YOUR CALL TO PROFESSOR TRAPHAGEN.

DO WE REALLY NEED HIM?

HE WAS THE GREATEST CATCHER I EVER SAW.

ARTHUR, YOU ARE HIS BOY.

YOU TALK HIM INTO COMING BACK TO HELP US.

HE OUT OF CONDITION.

HE TEACHES ENGLISH AT A COLLEGE.

HE WON PLAY. HEL INSTRUCT THE CATCHING.

HEL STEADY US.

HELP US MAKE IT TO THE END.

HOW MUCH CAN I OFFER HIM?

SKY THE LIMIT.

AND I SURE THE BOYS WILL VOTE HIM

A FULL SERIES SHARE IF WE WIN.

RED?

OH, TROUBLE, RED.

LOTS OF TROUBLE.

ARTHUR WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

YEAH, IT ARTHUR WHO GOT US IN TROUBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

RED, WE GOT A CRISIS HERE. WE NEED YOUR HELP.

YOU GET A FULL SERIES SHARE IF WE WIN IT.

RED, HOW DO YOU LIKE THE SOUND OF $1,000 A WEEK?

CAN FIND A SUBSTITUTE TO DO WHAT?

TEACH ENGLISH?

WHAT, TEACH ENGLISH?

PEOPLE SPEAK ENGLISH ALREADY.

RED! RED, IT URGENT.

I SWEAR YOU WON HAVE TO PLAY,

JUST INSTRUCT THE CATCHING.

ALL RIGHT.

HOP ON THE NEAREST PLANE.

LOVE AND KISSES, RED.

I HATE HIM.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT UP ANYTHING YET, DOC?

I THINKING.

YOUE A SLOW THINKER.

THIS THING, THIS-- WHAT IS IT CALLED?

THE DISEASE IS NAMED FOR HODGKIN.

HE THE MAN WHO IDENTIFIED IT.

FIND HIM. IS HE ALIVE HIMSELF?

MAYBE HE THOUGHT UP A CURE BY NOW

THAT THOSE JUGHEADS UP IN MINNESOTA DIDN HEAR ABOUT YET.

THE HELL KIND OF A PLACE IS THAT ANYWAY

TO BUILD A GODDAMN HOSPITAL?

IN THE WILDS OF NOWHERE?

DOES A MAN FREEZE HIS ASS OFF

BY THE TIME THEY GET HIM DOWN ON BED?

YOU. YOU WERE THERE.

YOU SNEAKED OUT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER

AND ALL THE REST WAS HORSEFEATHERS.

YOU AND MARY P FOR PILLUCA.

AND HUNTING THROUGH THE ICE

AND MIRCALE DRUGS FOR THE CLAP

AND TRICKS ON THE TELEPHONE.

WHOO-HOO! HOWDY, PARDNER!

HEY, PINEY, WHAT GOING ON?

WHAT HAPPENIN MAN?

TUMBLEWEED PINEY WOODS!

HEY, PINEY! PINEY!

DID YOU COME HERE FROM QUEEN CITY ON HORSEBACK?

Piney: NO, PARDNER, I FLEW.

HEY, IT RED TRAPHAGEN!

WHAT UP, ARTHUR?

DAMNED IF I KNOW.

YOU KNOW I TELL YOU IF I KNEW.

SMELLS IN HERE. IT STINKS.

HUMAN PERSPIRATION SMELLS, IT DOESN STINK.

WOULDN HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY, HUH?

ARTHUR, HOW ARE YOU?

JEEZ, YOUE BEEN HAVING A GREAT YEAR.

BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE.

I BET YOU GOT A RECEPTION LIKE THIS IN SAN FRANCISCO.

NO, THEY PRAY I DON SHOW FOR CLASS.

WHAT UP, RED. WHY ARE YOU HERE?

BOYS! BOYS, I WANT TO TALK TO MY BOYS, HUH?

Reporter: WHY HE HERE, DUTCH, WHAT HAPPENING?

IS HE GONNA PLAY?

HE HERE TO COACH THE CATCHING,

AND PINEY HERE TO CATCH THE CATCHING,

IN CASE ANYTHING HAPPENS.

WHY NOW?

MENTAL LAPSE, THAT WHY.

Joe: COME ON! COME ON!

THERE LEMONADE, THERE COOKIES OUTSIDE.

WHY DON YOU GET GOING? WAIT OUT FRONT.

YOU WANT A STORY, IL GIVE IT TO YOU LATER ON.

WHERE YOUR GUN?

RIGHT HERE, PARDNER.

HAND IT OVER.

I IN NO MOOD TO SEE ANYBODY

GET KILLED BY A BULLET WOUND.

PINEY, I HEAR YOU HAD BULLETS WITH IT, TOO.

YES, SIR. THEYE IN THE GUN.

WHY THE HELL DIDN YOU TELL ME?

WELL, I DIDN THINK IT WOULD GO OFF.

I ALWAYS VERY CAREFUL.

THAT WHAT EVERYBODY SAYS.

THAT WHY THE HOSPITAL IS FULL OF BABIES.

JONAH? Jonah: YEAH?

YOU SHOT GUNS IN THE WAR.

NO, SIR. I PLAYED BASEBALL.

SOME HELL OF A WAR. CANADA?

YES, SIR.

YOU SHOT GUNS IN VIETNAM.

RIGHT. HERE.

TAKE AND EMPTY THIS GUN.

WHY AM I HERE, ARTHUR?

BOYS! BOYS.

I WANT TO WELCOME RED BACK FROM THE COAST...

TO BOLSTER US AND STEADY UP THE INSTRUCTION.

I WANT TO WELCOME PINEY WOODS

BACK FROM THE WILD, WILD WEST

TO RIDE ALONG WITH US ALL THE WAY NOW,

IS WHAT I HOPING.

YEAH, RIGHT ON.

YOUE ALL BEEN DOING VERY GOOD JOBS.

MAYBE NOW AND THEN SOME BASEBALL PLAYER

OR OTHER TYPE OF PERSON

GETS THE IDEA THAT I NOT HUMAN.

WELL, FOR EXAMPLE,

EVEN PEARSON HERE THOUGHT

THAT I SOMETIMES WASN HUMAN.

NO, SIR.

I, UH, PROBABLY ATE YOU OUT NOW AND THEN,

BUT NEVER WITHOUT A REASON.

NO, SIR. YOU ONLY ATE ME OUT FOR DOING DUMB THINGS.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I ATE YOU OUT FOR THE GOOD OF THE CLUB

AND FOR YOUR OWN POCKETBOOK.

NEVER FOR ANYTHING PERSONAL!

BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW

THAT PERSONALLY I NEVER HAD ANYTHING

BUT THE GREATEST RESPECT FOR YOU

AS A HUMAN BEING.

YES, SIR.

THAT WAS HOW I ALWAYS FELT.

WHEN I DIE...

WHEN I DIE...

THE PAPERS WILL WRITE IN THE HEADLINES:

"SON OF A BITCHES OF THE WORLD

HAVE LOST THEIR LEADER."

YET...

MANY A BOY MIGHT SHED A TEAR OR 2

THAT RODE ALONG WITH ME INTO THE BIG MONEY.

AND, UH, THAT WHY MAYBE NOW AND THEN

I ATE PEARSON OUT OR SOME OTHER TYPE OF PERSON.

TIME, DUTCH.

YEAH, IL SAY IT TIME!

LET GO, BOYS!

NOW THAT YOUE HERE, TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE, OK?

AUSE I KNOW I GOT FAULTS. I ALWAYS DID.

THROW THE BALL BACK TO THE PITCHER BETTER.

MAKE IT EASY ON HIM.

RIGHT, I WILL. I REALLY WILL NOW.

IL DO THAT.

I TOLD YOU THAT A THOUSAND TIMES.

WHEN HE TELLS YOU YOU BELIEVE HIM.

YEAH, BUT HE A CATCHER. YOU AIN NO CATCHER.

WEE OF THE TRIBE OF CATCHERS.

YEAH. HA.

OH, YEAH. LOOK, WHEN YOU HIT, DON CHEW.

THERE A SYSTEM TO YOUR CHEWING.

YOU GIVE YOURSELF AWAY.

WHEN HE TENSES UP HE STOPS CHEWING.

THAT IT.

OH, ONE OTHER THING. USE A LIGHTER BAT.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU USE TOO HEAVY A BAT.

BIG STRONG BOY LIKE YOU,

YOU JUST MEET THE BALL, DON HURT IT.

OK.

IS SHE FAMILIAR TO YOU?

OH, YOU BET. I SEEN HER ON TV.

PLUS, SHE WAS VOTED MISS INDUSTRIAL PROGRESS,

NOT SO VERY LONG AGO.

I BELIEVE I RECALL THE EVENT.

TELL MR. WIGGEN YOUR PRESENT BUSINESS, ANDREA.

66th STREET.

WHERE YOUE GOT A GOLDEN LIFETIME PASS TO.

JUST AS SOON AS I LAY MY HANDS ON

THAT CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY FORM

TO YOU-KNOW-WHO POLICY.

MISS INDUSTRIAL PROGRESS HERE IS A BASEBALL FAN FROM WAY BACK,

AREN YOU, HONEY?

I SURE AM.

YOU WON PLAY BALL FOREVER.

YOU GOT A SHORT LIFE.

WHY NOT LIVE IT UP A LITTLE BIT?

I MEAN, WHY WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO

AND HIS FAMILY AND HIS LITTLE OLPOLICY?

WHY?

WHY?

I DON KNOW WHY YOU DON LIVE IT UP ALL THE TIME

WHEN DYINIS JUST AROUND THE CORNER, BUT YOU DON.

YOU THINK YOU WOULD, BUT YOU DON.

I DON KNOW WHY.

♪ AS I WAS WALKING THE STREETS OF LAREDO ♪

♪ AS I WALKED OUT IN LAREDO ONE DAY ♪

♪ I SPIED A YOUNG COWBOY ALL WRAPPED IN WHITE LINEN ♪

♪ WRAPPED IN WHITE LINEN AS COLD AS THE CLAY ♪

THEN THE COWBOY SPEAKS.

HEY, TRY A DIFFERENT SONG.

YEAH, I DON LIKE THAT SONG.

Piney: NO, THE COWBOY SPEAKS.

I DON WANNA HEAR THE COWBOY SPEAK.

♪ I SEEN BY HIS OUTFIT THAT HE WAS A COWBOY ♪

♪ AND AS I WALKED NEAR HIM THESE WORDS HE DID SIGH ♪

♪ COME SIT DOWN BESIDE ME

♪ AND HEAR MY SAD STORY

♪ SHOT IN THE BREAST

YOU KNOW ANOTHER NUMBER, PINEY?

THAT SONG STINKS.

IT A CORNBALL SONG.

HEY, I THINK IT LETTING UP.

LET HIM SING.

YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD.

COWBOY TELLS HIS SAD STORY.

♪ IT ONCE IN THE SADDLE I USED TO GO DASHING ♪

♪ ONCE IN THE SADDLE I USED TO GO GAY ♪

♪ FIRST DOWN TO ROSIE AND THEN TO THE CARD HOUSE ♪

♪ SHOT IN THE BREAST, AND I DYING TODAY ♪

♪ GET 16 GAMBLERS TO CARRY MY COFFIN ♪

♪ GET 6 PRETTY MAIDENS TO SING ME A SONG ♪

♪ TAKE ME TO THE VALLEY

♪ THEN LAY THE SOD OR ME ♪

♪ I JUST A YOUNG COWBOY, AND I KNOW I DONE WRONG ♪

COME ON, BOYS.

WHY DON YOU JOIN IN A LITTLE LIKE THEY DO, YOU KNOW?

♪ OH, BANG THE DRUM SLOWLY

♪ AND PLAY THE FIFE LOWLY

♪ PLAY THE DEAD MARCH AS THEY CARRY ME ALONG ♪

♪ PUT BUNCHES OF ROSES

♪ ALL OVER MY COFFIN

♪ ROSES TO DEADEN THE CLODS AS THEY FALL ♪

♪ A-COURTIN A PLEASURE

HEY!

♪ AND PARTING IS TRUE

ARTHUR!

HEY, ARTHUR!

Bruce: COME ON IN, ARTHUR.

COME ON. JOIN THE CELEBRATION.

I GUESS I WILL. I LIVE HERE.

CELEBRATING WHAT?

UH...CELEBRATIN

CELEBRATING CELEBRATION.

YEAH, HATS OFF!

HEY, PINEY.

HE SAID HATS OFF.

SO TAKE YOUR HAT OFF.

WELL, WHATEVER BRUCE SAYS, IL DO,

FOR, IN MY OPINION,

THERE IS NO GREATER CATCHER IN BASEBALL TODAY.

COME ON! ALL RIGHT!

BALTIMORE WON.

WELL, THAT OK, AUSE THEY AIN GONNA BEAT US.

WELL, HATS OFF!

♪ GIVE ME A HOME WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM ♪

♪ AND THE DEER AND THE ANTELOPE PLAY ♪

♪ WHERE SELDOM IS HEARD

Henry: I THOUGHT I MIGHT BE DREAMING.

I FIGURED I WAKE UP

AND THEY BE RAGGING EACH OTHER AS USUAL.

BUT IT WAS REAL.

THEY WERE THERE,

AND BRUCE AMONGST M.

IT WAS A CLUB.

♪ WHERE SELDOM IS HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD ♪

♪ AND THE SKIES ARE NOT CLOUDY-- ♪

HEY, MAN!

NO, NO! HEY! HEY!

I DON WANT TO SHOOT!

WHAT ARE YOU SHOOTIN

YOUE GONNA SHOOT THAT?

YEAH! YEAH!

OW! MY EYE!

GLASS ALL OVER THE FLOOR. WHERE MY SHOES?

ARTHUR.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

OH, THEYE A GREAT BUNCH OF BOYS.

THEY ALWAYS WAS.

Henry: PUT A CARD THERE. ALL RIGHT.

JOE, YOUE UP.

YEAH, I BETTING RIGHT NOW.

I WANT $5.00 MORE.

I PUTTING IN 5.00.

WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU BETTING ON?

IL TELL YOU AFTER YOU PUT IN THE 5.00.

AND I GONNA RAISE YOU 2.00.

OK, WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING THERE?

YOU GONNA RAISE 2.00?

HE CAN-- HE CAN RAISE.

YOU OWE.

2.00 AND 2.00 BETTER. 2.00 BETTER.

NOW I RAISE YOU 2.00.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

EASY. EASY. WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING, JOE?

$6.00. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING? COME ON. LET SEE.

NO, NO, NO. I WANNA SEE HIS MONEY HERE.

I CAN PLAY-- PUT IN YOUR MONEY.

ANOTHER $3.00. THERE, GO AHEAD.

THAT IT. 3.00 MORE.

HERE IT IS. JACK AND A 3,

AND IT ALL MINE.

WAIT A--

HEY, HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

15! 15!

I HAVEN EVEN PLAYED MY HAND OUT.

NO GOOD. NO GOOD. NO GOOD.

WE GOT TO RUN RIGHT THROUGH--

CAN YOU BEAT A CONEY ISLAND 30?

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THIS DOUBLE ACE-DEUCE?

I WISH YOU A LOT OF LUCK WITH IT.

Henry: IT WAS A CLUB LIKE IT SHOULDE BEEN ALL YEAR BUT NEVER WAS,

BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN BECOME.

WE BEGUN TO PULL AHEAD.

Announcer: PLEASE WELCOME FOR A RETURN ENGAGEMENT ON THIS PROGRAM

THE SINGING MAMMOTHS

AND THEIR NEWEST MEMBER BRUCE PEARSON.

♪ PLEASE EXCUSE MY TEARS

♪ AUSE IE BEEN ON THE ROAD TO TRIBULATION ♪

♪ AND I FIND NO CONSOLATION HERE ♪

♪ WHAT GOOD IS A LOVE SONG

♪ IF THE WORDS ARE SECOND-HAND? ♪

♪ THEY DON BELONG TO ANYONE ♪

♪ YOU CAN GET NEAR

♪ AUSE I LIVE ON THE OUTSIDE ♪

♪ OF YOUR JOY AND LAUGHTER

♪ YOU GAVE ME A GOOD RIDE

♪ BUT I CAN COME AFTER

♪ WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE ♪

♪ I NOT THE ONE YOU REALLY TOOK ME FOR ♪

♪ SO YOU BETTER LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP ♪

♪ YEAH

YEAH.

COME ON, BRUCE.

GO AHEAD! WHOO!

YEAH!

NOTHING BUT A NEW YORK SPORT COAT.

YEAH!

WHOO!

YEAH!

♪ YEAH

WHOO!

♪ I LIVE ON THE OUTSIDE

♪ OF YOUR JOY AND LAUGHTER

♪ YOU GAVE ME A GOOD RIDE

♪ BUT I CAN COME AFTER

♪ WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE ♪

♪ I NOT THE ONE YOU REALLY TOOK ME FOR ♪

♪ AND SO YOU BETTER LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP ♪

♪ SO YOU BETTER LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP ♪

♪ SO YOU BETTER LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP ♪

AAAAAAH!

HEY, BRUCE!

BRUCE, WE DID IT, MAN!

GET OVER HERE! HEY, HEY!

GET OVER HERE!

WHAT? COME ON.

BRUCE, COME ON, BRUCE, GET OVER HERE!

AH, NOTHIN

IL CALL A DOCTOR, OK?

NO.

IS IT THE REAL THING?

WELL, YES AND NO. I JUST FEEL A LITTLE DIPSY.

MAYBE IF YOU OPEN A WINDOW.

Bruce: HI, KATIE.

I OK.

WELL, I FEELING A LITTLE DIPSY.

AHH.

UH, NO, I DON THINK YOU DID.

OH, HE GETTING TO IT. MM-HMM.

NO, HE GETTING TO IT.

YEAH.

UH...

KATIE? BUT I DIDN--KATIE.

KATIE.

WELL, OK, YEAH, AND I LOVE YOU, TOO.

YEAH.

IL GET PERRY TO WARM UP.

NO, NO, I OKAY.

AM I THROWING THE BALL BACK BETTER?

OH, YEAH. AND IT HELPING ME OUT A LOT TOO.

Henry: EVERYTHING HAD BEEN GOING OUR WAY,

AND WHEN THE PIRATES CAME TO TOWN,

WE HAD OURSELVES A GOOD CUSHION.

WE WERE UNSTOPPABLE.

IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.

FOUL!

BALL!

KEEP IT MOVIN DON SLOW IT DOWN.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH.

YOU DON LOOK ALL RIGHT.

STRIKE 3! YOUE OUT!

HEY, UH, YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH.

Henry: BRUCE...

HE ALL RIGHT. WEL TAKE CARE OF HIM.

Umpire: STRIKE!

ALL RIGHT, BRUCEY HERE. ALL RIGHT, COME ON!

AH, CHECK, BRUCE. HAVE AN IDEA, HEY, BATTER!

Umpire: STRIKE 2!

COME ON! GO!

ALL RIGHT! WHOO!

LET GO. HEADS UP, BRUCE. HEADS UP.

HE NOT TOO CLEAR IN HIS HEAD, DUTCH.

AND WHAT DID YOU SIGN OFF THE BENCH?

UH, TELL HORSE TO COVER POP FLIES AROUND THE FIELD.

ALL RIGHT.

Umpire: STRIKE!

PLAY DEFENSE IN THERE!

BALL 2!

STRIKE!

Woman: YOU CAN GO IN NOW.

SAD. MAKES YOU WANT TO CRY.

IT IS SAD.

IT MAKES YOU WANT TO LAUGH.

HEY.

HI, DOC. HEY.

HI, JOE.

HI.

HOPE I BROUGHT THE RIGHT COMBINATION.

YEAH. DID ANYONE BRING MY SHOES?

YEAH, SURE.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, ARTHUR.

THANKS A LOT.

AND IL BE BACK IN THE SPRING.

I GONNA BE IN SHAPE THEN. YOUL SEE.

YEAH, IL SEE YOU THEN, BRUCE.

YEAH.

SEE YOU IN AQUA CLARA, ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

HEY, ARTHUR,

DON FORGET TO SEND ME A SCORECARD

FROM THE SERIES, OK?

YOU BET I WILL. OK.

IL SEE YOU.

IL SEE YOU.

Henry: WE BREEZED THROUGH THE PLAYOFFS

AND WRAPPED UP THE SERIES ON A SUNDAY. MY WIN.

I TOOK THE SCORECARD HOME AND THREW IT ON A SHELF

AND LET IT LAY THERE.

WOULD HAVE BEEN SIMPLE TO SHOVE IT IN THE MAIL.

HOW LONG WOULD IT HAVE TOOK,

THE LINE FOR THE STAMPS?

IN MY ARCTURUS CALENDAR FOR DECEMBER 10

IT SAYS DE SOTO VISITED GEORGIA, 1540.

THIS HANDS ME A LAUGH.

BRUCE PEARSON ALSO VISITED GEORGIA.

I WAS HIS PALLBEARER,

ME AND SOME LOCAL BOYS.

THERE WERE FLOWERS FROM THE CLUB

BUT NO PERSON FROM THE CLUB.

THEY COULDE SENT SOMEBODY.

HE WASN A BAD FELLA, NO WORSE THAN MOST

AND PROBABLY BETTER THAN SOME.

AND NOT A BAD BALLPLAYER, NEITHER, WHEN THEY GAVE HIM THE CHANCE--

WHEN THEY LAID OFF OF HIM LONG ENOUGH.

FROM HERE ON IN...

I RAG NOBODY.