Original subtitles

( all screaming )

Renet: Being an apprentice timestress in the 79th level

of Null Time can kind of get boring.

But since I swiped my boss's Time Scepter,

it's been, like, totally rad.

I hooked up with these cute little green bald guys.

They call themselves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

which is kinda catchy, you know.

( roars )

And right now, I'm really glad these little green guys

are tagging along, because it's looking like

this day is only gonna get crazier and crazier.

Or worse.

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Turtles, count it off! ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Mutant chain reaction ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Livin' underground ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Ninjutsu action ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ It's a shell of a town ♪

♪ Turtles, count it off! ♪

- ♪ One! ♪ - ♪ Live by the code of the martial arts ♪

- ♪ Two! ♪ - ♪ Never fight unless someone else starts ♪

- ♪ Three! ♪ - ♪ Always stick together no matter what ♪

- ♪ Four! ♪ - ♪ If all else fails, then it's time to kick butt ♪

- ♪ I love bein' ♪ - ♪ I love bein' ♪

♪ I love bein' a turtle ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Turtles, count it off! ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ There's no one better ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Watch out for Shredder ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ They're like no others ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Those teenage brothers ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

( echoing ) ♪ Turtles, Turtles ♪

I totally hate dusting.

All I did was accidentally reverse the evolution

on a planet of gross, giant worms,

and I get six weeks dusting duty.

This is so completely harsh.

( groans )

I didn't become an apprentice timestress for this.

Hmm, maybe there's something good on the Orb of Hindsight.

No. Boring.

Hmm, this looks good.

The Lord of Time thinks he can banish me

to this prison of the past, but I still have power.

Even though I cannot leave this place,

I will lure the sacred sands of the Time Scepter to me.

Then I will have my revenge.

( roars )

I will draw the scepter here with the spell of summoning.

( laughs maniacally )

Ew, ick.

Stupid Orb of Hindsight.

There's never anything good on.

( Turtles laughing )

That's better.

They look like they're having fun.

A lot more fun than I'm having right now.

Oh, wow...

The Time Scepter.

I forgot it was even here.

Wait a sec.

Lord Simultaneous said I was grounded for six cycles, right?

So all I gotta do is use the Time Scepter to move myself

ahead in time six cycles and I'll be, like, done.

Sweet. I'll just--

- Attention! - ( alarm blaring )

The Time Scepter has been disturbed.

I am so busted.

If Lord Simultaneous catches me,

I am so dead it's not even funny.

Renet!

Scepter, get me out of here!

Destination?

Somewhere, anywhere but here.

I don't know.

Wait! With them, there, I mean, then.

Just-just hurry up.

( all laughing )

It's time for your bath, Mikey.

Hey, no fair!

I took a bath last week.

Blech!

( laughs )

Whoa!

Uh-oh.

Time for your bath now, Leo.

- Hey! - Huh?

Ah!

What is that?

( all groaning )

That wasn't any fun.

Like, it really hurt my hiney.

Well, excuse the shell outta me.

My skull's not having a picnic either.

Oh, I'm totally sorry.

Are you guys okay?

Let me guess.

You're not from around here, are you?

Well, duh.

I'm from the 79th dimension of Null Time, obviously.

Uh, obviously.

And your name is?

Oh, right.

I'm really bad at introductions.

Hi, I'm Renet, apprentice timestress.

This is the Time Scepter, it brought me here.

Um, so why did you pop out of wherever and land on us?

I was bored and you guys were in the Orb of Hindsight

and it looked like you were having fun.

Orb of Hindsight?

Totally.

It shows times where EGS happen?

- Eggs? - Like omelets?

No, silly.

E-G-S, Events of Great Significance.

Sometimes it's a bummer because everyone is, like,

about to be horribly destroyed and stuff,

but you guys seem okay.

Horribly destroyed and stuff?

Is it just me, or are you guys getting

a feeling of impending doom?

Lord Simultaneous: Renet!

Ah!

Renet!

Oh, bummer, it's him. He's found me.

You gotta help me. You gotta help me!

Return what you have stolen.

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

It's Lord Simultaneous.

He's gonna kill me!

Not on our beat.

Stay behind us, we'll handle chrome dome here.

Insolent brat, prepare for a punishment far worse

than anything you have ever experienced.

Experience this!

Okay. That didn't work.

We gotta bail.

Scepter, get us out of here now!

Destination?

Anyplace, just go. Go!

( clamoring )

No!

( chanting )

Bring the Time Scepter's guardian to me.

( laughs maniacally )

( shouting )

I have done it.

I have summoned the Time Scepter here.

Now my freedom shall be at hand.

( all groaning )

You know, Renet, for a timestress or whatever,

you really gotta work on your control.

Where the shell are we?

I think the question is, when the shell are we?

Let me check.

No. No.

Okay, here.

We're in the year 1406, somewhere in medieval Europe or someplace.

1406?

And we're here because...?

I have no idea.

It, it felt like-- I don't know,

something reached out and brought us here.

The Time Scepter is very close, I can feel it.

Soon it will be in my grasp and power beyond all time

and space will be mine!

Dark warriors arise and do my bidding!

Arise!

( all gasp )

( monsters growling )

Bring me the scepter.

Let nothing stand in your way.

Do something, you stupid thing.

Hey, check it out, an extra shell.

I like it.

Take the scepter, feast on their flesh.

Attack!

( all growling )

( all grunting )

Donny!

I got your back, bro!

( screams )

No! My spell isn't strong enough.

The Earth is reclaiming my dark warriors.

Guys, put them down hard enough and stay down!

They're worm food.

( grunting )

Can I just say, ew!

On my mark, Mikey.

Now!

( screaming )

I will not fail.

The Time Scepter will be mine.

Oh, stupid thing, how come you're not working?

Can't you guys, like, be a little quieter?

I can't concentrate.

Oh, cheap piece of temporal junk!

One minute it works, the next it doesn't.

I don't think it's me, is it?

Hold the creature.

Hold him!

( grunting )

Thanks, Donny.

( shouting )

( Renet screams )

Huh?

The Time Scepter will be mine!

No!

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

( screaming )

No!

At last, the Time Scepter is mine.

( all shouting )

Hold on! We're coming for you!

( shouting )

What's wrong with you?

I have what I came for.

Come, away!

I'll finally be free of this accursed time.

( Renet screams )

There goes our ride home.

Looks like we better go get her.

How come all the weird stuff always happens to us?

I mean, we were just minding our own business when, wham,

that time lady fell out of the sky right on top of us.

Now we're stuck here, and we've gotta

go to that creepy looking place.

It just doesn't seem fair.

You done?

Yeah, I'm done.

Let's go save Renet.

( laughing maniacally )

Time is mine to command.

How'd you do that?

I can just barely get it to work.

I did manage some armor earlier,

but that was kind of an accident.

Hey, do I know you?

You look kind of familiar, and ugly.

No offense, but you know, you really should try

and do something about your skin, a little night cream maybe, or maybe--

Silence!

I can't understand how Lord Simultaneous puts up

with you, but I will soon put him out of that misery

when I end his life.

It was your master, Lord Simultaneous,

that banished me here.

Huh?

And now with the Time Scepter in my hands,

I will be free to move through time and space

to wreak my revenge upon your master.

( growls )

What's gotten into you today?

You act like I haven't fed you or something.

Settle down, I command it!

Mikey, lose the armor, will ya?

I like it.

It makes me feel all safe and protected.

All right, all right.

Don't get your shells in a bunch.

Ah, I have some unexpected guests.

Let's see if I can arrange a little welcoming party.

Oh, now I take my armor off.

Thanks, guys.

Ah!

( growling )

Mikey, look out!

( screams )

( roars )

My turn!

- Raphael! - Raphael!

Welcome to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle motel,

where giant killer roaches check in...

But they don't check out.

Come on, let's keep moving.

Renet: Uh, hey, sorcerer guy?

Your pet is, like, really acting, like, weird and stuff.

Ew, gross!

Time and space are now mine to command.

Somebody here call an exterminator?

You gotta heck of a bug problem out there.

What? You dare!

Ignorant fools!

Are you okay?

I am now.

( both screaming )

( groans )

Pathetic warriors, you waste my time.

I have revenge to seek and a universe to conquer.

Not if we have anything to say about it.

Ah, but you don't!

( cackles )

( thud )

Oh.

Hey, hey, nice swing.

I'd say that counts as a homerun, Renet.

Renet: Huh?

Ah, the turtle brothers.

How glad we are to see you again.

Uh, do we know you?

He knows us.

And those voices sound really familiar.

Yes.

Listen well to our voices,

for it is the last thing you will ever hear.

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

Renet: Ew, what is that thing?

It's Drako!

And the Daimyo's Son!

Merged together somehow.

It can't be.

You both got sucked into the dimensional rift thingy.

Yes.

Heartlessly pushed into a rift beyond time and space

where we drifted for an eternity.

You remember, don't you?

How you turtles could have saved us, but you let us go.

Over thousands of millennia, our bodies combined

into this horrific form,

our minds fusing in the endless isolation.

Our hatred of you driving us, keeping us alive

until we learned enough to free ourselves and came here,

and how we suffered pretending to serve this fool

of a demon sorcerer

only because he sought the Time Scepter.

Only with it could we find and destroy you.

Oh, enough of this noise.

Ha!

Steel rots, wood crumbles,

time is the master.

And as for flesh, prepare to rot.

You icky creep!

( grunts )

Meddlesome pest of a girl, you are no match for us.

I'm not, but, like, I know somebody who is!

Lord Simultaneous, I'm really, like, sorry,

but we could use your help.

Well, it's about time!

Ah! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

No, Lord Simultaneous.

Oh, this is just not my day.

Give me that, please, before you hurt yourself

or the rest of the universe, again.

That's Lord Simultaneous?

He should have quit when he was a head. Get it?

You may be the Lord of Time,

but you shall not interrupt our vengeance.

Quiet, you.

You've caused me enough trouble for one eternity.

As it is, I'll be sweeping up temporal spillage for a decade.

And you, Savanti, you'd think that banishing you

to 15th century Earth would have been enough, but no.

Say bye-bye, Savanti.

Ah!

See you later.

No!

What?

Where am I?

Oh, no. He didn't.

Now, what to do with you.

You cannot hold us.

You cannot command us.

We are not without power.

We shall return. We shall have our revenge.

( cackles )

Lord Simultaneous, that ugly creep just stole your Time Scepter.

I wouldn't worry about it.

The Time Scepter's a funny thing.

Has a mind of its own sometimes.

I'm not so sure that character knows what he's in for.

As for you, young lady,

we need to talk about your punishment.

Please, Lord Simultaneous, I'm sorry!

You must pay for your crimes.

Six more weeks of dusting.

Oh, you are such a tyrant!

- Seven! - No!

Do you want to try for eight?

No, your magnificence.

Dusting?

This was all about dusting?

Now, let's set things right, shall we?

( all shouting )

Um, I'm glad we're home,

but why do I always have to be on the bottom?