Original subtitles

Donatello: Warning. The stunts you are about

to witness is performed by professional maniacs.

Do not attempt this yourself.

Do not stand up in an open vehicle traveling at speeds

upwards of 90 miles per hour.

If an 18-wheeler driven by a crazed wacko

was attempting to force you off the road...

( tires squealing )

do not continue to agitate said crazed wacko.

( grunts )

Lastly, never ever attempt to disarm

the homemade thermonuclear device located

inside said high-speed moving vehicle...

unless you're planning to kiss your shell goodbye.

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

- Turtles, count it off! - 1, 2, 3, 4!

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Mutant chain reaction ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Livin' underground ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Ninjutsu action ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ It's a shell of a town ♪

Turtles, count it off!

- One! - ♪ Live by the code of the martial arts ♪

- Two! - ♪ Never fight unless someone else starts ♪

- Three! - ♪ Always stick together no matter what ♪

- Four! - ♪ If all else fails, then it's time to kick butt ♪

- ♪ I love bein' ♪ - ♪ I love bein' ♪

♪ I love bein' a turtle ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

- Turtles, count it off! - 1, 2, 3, 4!

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ There's no one better ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Watch out for Shredder ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ They're like no others ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Those teenage brothers ♪

- 1, 2, 3, 4! - 1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

( echoing ) ♪ Turtles, Turtles. ♪

( rooster crows )

Mm. ( sighs )

Sure is beautiful up here this time of year.

It's nice to get away from the city

after all we've been through together--

you know, quiet time,

alone... just the two of us.

So, what exactly are you trying

to say to me, Casey Jones?

Okay, it's just-- you know, don't get me wrong,

I don't want to move too fast here or nothing,

but I've been thinking.

- Maybe... - ( yelps )

Don't mind us.

Hah, much too slow, my son.

( grunting )

Please, go about your business.

Weren't you guys gonna go pick apples or something?

That was Don. ( grunts )

Although, Mikey and Raph said something about settling a bet...?

( grunting )

Don't move.

- Whoo-hoo! - Bullseye!

( sighs )

That's it.

After 20 consecutive double-bullseyes,

I'm officially declaring this contest a tie.

Aw--!

But we haven't even gotten to the blindfold round yet.

Forget it, William Tell.

We came here to pick apples.

We have to bring back at least one still...

( sighs ) ...intact.

- ( gunshots popping ) - All: Huh?

- ( gunshots popping ) - ( squawking )

- Quiet, you guys. - Hide.

( grunting )

Someone! Someone, help!

Help me, please.

They've got a bomb.

The city-- aliens. I didn't want--

not right. Gone too far.

( groans )

This man's been shot in the shoulder.

What was he talking about, a bomb or something?

Man: He went over this way!

Man #2: I see his tracks. Let's finish this.

Man #3: Come on!

I'll stay and do what I can for him.

You guys need to lead the others away from here.

Man #2: Come on, after him! Move it!

- Man: #3: Shake your tail, boys! - Go, go!

- We'll get that traitor yet! - Yeah, we sure will!

Come on! Let's go!

I don't know, Skunk. Hunting down one of our own--

isn't this a little extreme?

Nothing is too extreme in the fight

against the alien menace, Puke.

Remember who we are.

We're "Humans Against The Extraterrestrials."

And as a member of "H.A.T.E.,"

Michael knew the rules.

Our cause is a lifelong commitment.

No one leaves.

Find him. He's wounded.

He won't get far.

I need to make some last-minute preparations at the base.

We've come too far to let one traitor

force us to scrub the entire mission.

Huh?

Ha.

Whoa! ( gasps )

Ugh--!

It's-- it's true. Aliens!

Eat grenades, space slime.

( yells )

( grunts )

Skunk was right.

You space freaks haven't left Earth.

Your green Martian butt is mine.

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ♪

Ow! What the...?

( laughs )

- ( launcher whirring ) - Huh?

- Wha--? - Hey, pal,

didn't your mom tell you about these things?

"You'll put your eye out, kid."

We're on to you, "E.T."

Oh--!

"E.T., phone home."

( chuckles )

Stay back! Keep away from me!

Ha, ha. This is just too good to be true.

( grunting )

( gasps )

- Wha--? Oh-hh... - ( plops )

( crowd chatter )

Skunk: Faithful members of "Humans Against The Extraterrestrials,"

today, we make history.

Today, we show those alien slimebags

that you don't mess with the human race--

not when H.A.T.E. is on the job!

( cheering )

Skunk: You've heard the lies--

"The aliens were defeated. All is safe."

Well, don't believe it.

Look at the news-- "Aliens attack in subway skirmish,"

"Aliens in our sewers,"

"Mob Chases Alien in Atlinger Alley."

And what do these sightings have in common?

Uh, aliens?

No. Well, yeah.

But, no. What else?

All: New York City!

That's right.

They're dug deep in the Big Apple

and nobody's doing a freaking thing about it...

until now.

( door creaks )

This is the last best hope of the human race.

And we're gonna blow it up

right in the middle of alien central.

( cheering )

Donnie, how's the patient?

I've done all I can do for him here.

We need to get him to a hospital fast.

I can take him in the sidecar.

Come on. I'll give you a hand with him.

What about that bomb he was babbling about?

I thought I heard the leader guy

say something about a base.

( motor rumbles )

Let's find it.

Anyways, I guess what I was trying to say before was--

I mean, now that we're, you know,

and all, maybe it's time we--

- ( car horn honks ) - April: Whoa!

- ( tires squeal ) - Hey!

Hey! Watch where you're driving, lady!

April, wait! Hang on a sec!

Yeah. Why don't you watch where you're standing?

Who is this crazy woman, Arnold?

Ma, I told you never to call me that.

Ma, this is April. You know,

the girl I've been telling you about?

Oh, really? I get to meet the mystery woman?

I don't know how many months

I've been hearing about your fiancée.

"Fiancée"?

May I have a word with you in private...

"dear"?

Did you tell your mother we're engaged?

No.

Kinda.

Ugh!

You got to understand.

My mom hates every girl I ever brung home.

So I just said it to shut her up.

I never thought she'd come looking for ya.

I just wanted her to like you, is all,

'cause you're, you know, special.

Really?

Ahem. Um, don't mind us, guys.

Ahem.

Perhaps we should continue

- our meditation session elsewhere. - ( pounding on door )

So, you're gonna make me stand outside all alone the whole day?

Don't come in, Mrs. Jones.

- The place is a mess. - Oof!

Oh, it's not that bad, dear--

if you don't mind living in a pigsty.

Raphael: Ah, piece of cake.

These wackos got a lot to learn

about covering their tracks.

Just remember, these "wackos"

are playing with some very dangerous toys.

And we don't know how many of them there are.

I say, bring them on.

( car engine roaring )

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ♪

( grunting )

I'm real sorry, April.

My ma has a real way of ticking people off.

It's not your mom I'm angry with.

She and I just got off on the wrong foot.

( grunting )

Here, let me help you with that.

What do I look like? Some feeble old lady

who can't carry her own bag?

( grunts )

Sorry. I was just...

Here, see if you can't make yourself useful.

Mrs. Snodgrass down the road gave me

10 bushels of her apples.

You can haul them out to the barn.

I can help too, Ma.

- No. - Ow!

You'll go into town and do the marketing.

I got a list inside.

I don't like to trust my money with strangers.

Hey! Wait a minute! I--

Oh--!

Need a hand?

( door squeaks )

Now I see where Casey gets his ability

to be so annoying-- his mother.

Do not take her disapproval personally, Miss O'Neil.

Parents can be very overprotective of their children.

Tell me about it.

( grunts )

( crackling )

( grunts )

- ( buzzing ) - ( yells )

( fizzling )

Game over, space freak.

Eh...?

Huh?

Huh?

( yells, grunting )

Ooh, that hurts.

Whoa. Unh.

Huh? ( yells )

Ugh--!

Here you go, Mrs. Jones, all neatly stacked.

I see that, dear.

But they aren't peeled.

I'd be happy to peel them.

Good. Try not to bruise 'em up too much.

Ooh, there's just no pleasing that woman.

( blades ring )

We've got an unidentified male,

shoulder wound and multiple fractures.

Let's bring him in. On my count--

1, 2, 3.

Sorry for the "drop and dash," pal.

But you're in good hands now.

The bomb is good to go.

Why haven't the patrols reported in?

( engine whirrs )

About time.

What the--?

( buzzing )

We're under attack! Take cover!

Oh, no! Take cover!

( creaks )

Keep your eyes peeled for anything

that looks like a bomb.

( whimpers )

This fit the bill?

Don't touch that thing.

That's not just any bomb.

It's a thermonuclear device, and it's armed.

What are these maniacs doing with a nuke?

Wasting alien scum like you.

( gasps )

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ♪

Thought you alien garbage could stop me

from taking out your stronghold

in New York City?

Well, guess again.

No idea what you're talking about.

Deny it all you want.

But nothing will stop me from keeping this planet

safe for the human race. Nothing!

Hah-yah!

( grunting )

Yah!

Look, why don't you make

like a good little H.A.T.E.-monger

and disarm your nuke?

Why don't you make like

a good little alien and eat this?

( turtles grunting )

( engine starts )

You aliens will perish, every last one of you!

( coughing )

Ugh. Do I feel like a sucker.

I'm just glad Mikey wasn't here

to see us losing the bad guy.

We'll never catch him now.

Never say never, Donny.

( engine roars )

( sighs ) There you go, peeled and cored.

You did 'em all?

I only need a dozen for the pie.

Ugh!

Such a waste. ( sighs )

Oh, well. Might as well

press the rest into cider before they rot.

Listen, I'm getting a little frustrated

with you giving me orders all the time.

I would prefer to be treated as an adult

who happens to care a great deal about your son.

I think I deserve a little respect.

Well, all that negativity won't get

those apples pressed, "dear."

Right.

Let's get started on the cider.

Huh?

Those alien scum are still trying to stop me.

I'll show 'em. Nobody stops

Humans Against The Extraterrestrials.

( tires screeching )

This is where you get off.

Since when am I supposed to do the crazy stuff?

That's your department, Raph.

Just go.

Whoa-- whoa!

He's king of the cycle,

the main man of the motorbike.

He's "Turtle Kanurtle," and he--

- Whoa! - ( horn honks )

Whoa!

( grunting )

Hey, my bros!

Whoa!

( grunting )

Uh--!

Okay.

Now all I have to do is remove the plutonium core,

at 90 miles an hour-- with a maniac at the wheel.

( bangs )

Ha, ha. Enjoy the scenic route, alien scum.

Remember me?

( grunting )

Skunk: You're not gonna stop me. Nobody's gonna stop me.

( tires squealing )

Careful.

Got to get just the right--

- ( tires screeching ) - Whoa!

( groans ) It's the wrong wire!

( alarm beeping )

Raph, the nuke's activated! Bail out! Now!

( grunting )

( beeps )

Cowabunga!

Whoa! ( yells )

Raph, get down.

( rapid beeping )

Shouldn't we be vaporized or something?

That wasn't a nuclear explosion.

I removed the plutonium core.

But all your crazy driving made me set off

the detonating charge. That's what blew.

Raphael: Hope the authorities don't mind handling

the little gift we left for them.

Hey, you guys need a ride?

I'm back! How'd it go with Ma?

Let's put it this way.

We haven't killed each other...

pftt-- yet.

- ( door opens ) - Arnold Casey Jones,

I have only one thing to say.

I really like this girl.

She passed the strength test,

the patience test, the endurance test,

the assertiveness test,

and she makes pretty good apple cider, too.

Here, have some pie and cider, dear.

Er, thanks, Mrs. Jones.

Call me "Ma." You've earned it.

And don't you worry about the dishes.

Arnold will take care of them

right after he helps me outside.

Look, Ma, I got a confession to make.

We're not really engaged.

Oh, Arnold, you really think

your mother couldn't figure that one out

for herself?

One more thing, you don't have to tell me now,

but someday I'd really like to hear the story

behind that big rat and the giant turtle.

( theme music playing )