Original subtitles

Leonardo: Do you know what irony is?

Irony is when you finally convince the Triceratons,

who invaded your planet to pack up and leave

because the Fugitoid they're so desperately searching for

is not on Earth.

Only to have the Fugitoid actually show up on Earth.

Irony is when the very same energy scan that Don used

to prove the Fugitoid wasn't on Earth is now used

by the Triceratons to track down the Fugitoid.

And, finally, irony is when having succeeded

in eluding your deadly alien pursuers,

you find yourself surrounded by a bunch

of heavily armed goons.

And it doesn't look like you're gonna

make it out alive.

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

Turtles, count it off!

1, 2, 3, 4!

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Mutant chain reaction ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Livin' underground ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Ninjutsu action ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ It's a shell of a town ♪

Turtles, count it off!

- One! - ♪ Live by the code of the martial arts ♪

- Two! - ♪ Never fight unless someone else starts ♪

- Three! - ♪ Always stick together no matter what ♪

- Four! - ♪ If all else fails, then it's time to kick butt ♪

- ♪ I love bein' ♪ - ♪ I love bein' ♪

♪ I love bein' a turtle ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

Turtles, count it off!

1, 2, 3, 4!

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ There's no one better ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Watch out for Shredder ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ They're like no others ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Those teenage brothers ♪

- 1, 2, 3, 4! - 1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

( echoing ) ♪ Turtles, Turtles ♪

United States military, stand where you are

and do not move or we will open fire!

Oh dear, I'm afraid it's out of the frying pan

and into the fire.

On the ground! Hands behind your heads!

Assume the position now!

I got your position right here!

Neutralize them!

Nice going, Raph!

- Whoa! Whoa! Look out! - Look out!

Hyah!

Since when do Earth troops have such advanced weapons?

Oh, dear.

I think I prefer to take my chances with the Triceratons.

Remember, Bishop wants them alive.

All: Aah!

Oh, dear.

Okay, all clear.

Master Splinter.

April, Casey, what news do you bring of my sons?

Actually, we were kind of hoping they were with you.

Hmm. I fear for their safety.

This is not good. I must collect a few things

and then I will go find them.

Cool, where do we start?

It will not be necessary for you to accompany me, Mr. Jones.

Well, you don't know what it's like up there.

Those horn-headed freaks are everywhere.

Casey's right.

No one's allowed out on the streets after dark.

We were lucky to make it down here alive.

That is precisely my point, my friends.

It is too dangerous.

But you don't even know where to start looking.

I can at least help you track them

through their shell cell signals.

Hmm.

And I've been practicing the moves you taught me.

You've been practicing Ninjutsu?

Yeah, right. No way.

Huh, hyah!

Hyah!

What do you think, Casey Jones?

Unh, uh, cool move.

Of course, you know, I could've stopped you.

Just didn't want to hurt you.

I hate to put either one of you at risk,

but only a fool ignores fate

and the strange gifts it offers.

Well, if it's strange gifts you're after,

they don't come any stranger than Casey Jones.

Now, listen...

the way of invisibility takes a lifetime to master.

Circumstances, however, require us to train as we go.

Observe and learn. Lesson one...

It don't look so hard.

( crashing )

Leave it to Casey to put the crash in crash course.

( crashing )

What was that?

Sir, I think it came from down there.

Fan out, search pattern tri-zeta-nine.

If someone's hiding down here, we'll find them.

Lesson two, the way of silence.

Where are we?

Unh.

At the end of the line for you all.

It's me you want. Leave my friends alone.

Actually, Professor, it's you I don't want.

Who are you?

Well, Donatello, I'm the man the government

relies upon for certain projects.

The kind of projects they'd rather not

dirty their own hands with.

Hey, how do you know Donnie's name and the professor?

I know all of your names, Raphael,

and much, much more.

And yet, we know nothing about you, not even your name.

How rude is that?

Very well, Michelangelo.

When you scream my name, pleading to make the pain stop,

begging for mercy,

you may call me Bishop.

( gulps )

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

I don't understand it.

Everybody has always been after me in the past.

Actually, Professor Honeycutt,

you're a valuable commodity to a certain

interested party.

Hello, Professor.

- General Blanque? - Great.

That's the guy that was chasing down

the Fugitoid back on D'Hoonib.

What's he want?

Oh, right.

Escort the professor to the lab

Agent Bishop has so graciously provided us with.

Yes, sir.

All right, General, you have your robot,

our deal is concluded.

Yes, the Federation thanks you and your government

for the assistance.

The professor's teleportal device

will finally be ours.

And with it, the Federation will once and for all

annihilate the accursed Triceratons.

Our ultimate victory is at hand.

Do as you will with the terrapins.

( evil laugh )

Honeycutt: No!

Attention all Federation units,

we have the Fugitoid,

commence Operation Broken Horn.

The Federation, here?

- ( explosion ) - Ugh!

But that's impossible.

Caught you with your horns down,

didn't I, Zanramon?

Har.

There's nowhere to run this time.

We Triceratons never run.

We fight as we live, with honor and nobility.

This is all your fault.

Why did you not foresee this attack?

But Prime Leader, you ordered me

to direct all our resources

to search for the Fugitoid.

Search no further, he's right here.

What?

Both: No.

Surrender now or face certain destruction.

We never surrender, Federation scum.

We will fight till the last Triceraton.

All ships attack!

This is General Blanque. We're done hiding, gentlemen.

Deploy all Federation deep cover fighters!

Blast the Triceraton scum to the far side of the galaxy!

Whoa, check it out.

We must not get distracted.

- Come. - Man, I wish I had my hockey mask.

I feel kind of naked without it.

I don't know. I like being able

to see your face for a change.

- Yeah? No kidding? - ( clears throat)

I said we must not get distracted.

- Right. - ( scanner beeping )

Well, the good news is the shell cell signal

is less than a mile away.

The bad news is it's coming from across the river.

Then we must find another way across.

You're making a big mistake, Bishop.

You can't trust that Blanque guy.

He's no better than the Triceratons.

Federation, Triceratons,

it makes little difference to me.

I help one destroy the other

and they promise to give me what I need

and leave the Earth alone.

But enough talk, time for your dissection.

( whirring )

Guys? You know how I always like

to take apart the toaster to see how it works?

Well, I suddenly know how the toaster feels.

Fascinating.

Your genetic mutation is virtually identical

to that of the other specimen I've been able to find.

Other specimen?

What you talking about, Willis?

Leatherhead?

( groaning )

( explosions )

The shell cell signals haven't moved in a while,

which means the guys might be held captive

or unconscious.

Yeah, either that or they're...

Uh, never mind.

Anti-gravity generators, negative function.

I can't hold it any longer, abandon ship, abandon--

Splinter, can you think just any ninja tricks

for dealing with that?

All: Aah!

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

( gasping )

Are you all right, Ms. O'Neil?

I'm fine, how about you, Casey?

Casey? Casey?

( gasping )

Come on, breathe!

( coughing )

Yes.

So, looks like this kissing thing

is getting to be a habit.

What?

Years of research and I've never seen

a mutation like yours or that

of your crocodilian friend over there.

Finding the exact source of your mutation

is going to accelerate my ability to create

an army of super soldiers by at least two decades.

Aah!

Pity you won't survive the next two minutes.

( evil laugh )

Splinter: Whatever this place was, it seems abandoned now.

Yeah?

Well, if it's abandoned, what are we sneaking around for?

- ( scanner beeping ) - I don't get it.

According to the scanner, we should be

right on top of them.

But there's nothing here.

( sniffing )

Nothing on the surface, perhaps,

but what about below ground?

Wait. When I was drowning before,

I was heading toward a big light.

Oh, don't be so melodramatic.

What? No, not that.

There really was a light down there.

An underwater entrance, perhaps?

Attention Gamma Squadron, report to docking bay 12.

Gamma Squadron, docking bay 12.

So, how do we get past all those guards?

- What was that? - Huh?

Unh!

Unh!

Unh!

Aw, you hogged all the goons.

Plenty more where those came from.

Master Splinter?

No thank you, it would only slow me down.

( beeping )

Splinter: Ms. O'Neil?

- ( punching ) - Unh! Unh!

She's good.

They are not here.

Yo, April, I think that scanner of yours is busted.

( beeping )

I'd say it's working perfectly.

( sniffing )

Wait. They are near.

We must continue to search the facility.

No point in leaving empty handed.

Hey, what's this thing?

( coughing )

Something best left out of your hands, Casey Jones.

( sniffing )

This hallway is laden with danger.

We must proceed with caution.

We must execute our movements with absolute precision.

Whoa.

Unh!

Come on, Casey! You can do it!

Ugh!

I know you can do this, Casey!

- April: Almost there. - Unh!

Ugh.

Whoa!

Ah.

Oops.

( alarm blaring )

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

( alarm blaring )

Hey, it's not like I meant to trip the alarm.

Silence!

Move out!

There's no one here?

The intruders can't have gone far.

Spread out and search. Go!

Their scent, it grows stronger up ahead.

Sorry I can't administer a sedative.

But it might corrupt my findings.

I can't look.

For the sacrifice you're about to make,

your country thanks you, Michelangelo.

No!

What? Another mutation?

Stop them!

Hyah!

Keep away from my sons!

Unh!

Hyah!

Hyah!

Both: Unh!

Whoa, Master Splinter.

Man, talk about cutting it close.

Hyah! Help me release your brothers.

- Huh? - It is all right now, Raphael.

We can't leave without the Fugitoid.

Don't worry, we won't.

Oh, man, Leatherhead.

Can you hear me, buddy?

My friend.

I didn't think we'd ever see you again.

The last time I saw you, our old lair caved in on you.

Well...

I am very thick skinned, quite literally.

Get them!

Hyah!

( coughing )

Wake up, Raphy!

Christmas came early this year.

Thank you, Santa!

( grunting )

Come on, let's get out of here!

Cowards.

Let's take care of this guy and get out of here!

We need to find the Fugitoid!

Bishop, you want a genetic sample?

Sample this!

Whoa! Unh!

Anyone moves

and you can say goodbye to Michelangelo.

Oh, man, I really hate goodbyes.

( whirring )