Original subtitles

(ALARM BEEPING)

(MICROWAVE BEEPING)

Oh, thank you, my babe.

Eh, you're better than home help, you are.

I don't like it, I just say I like to change my mind now and again.

(VACUUM WHIRRING)

Beth.

-Beth. -Sorry?

I said, "How is your mother doing now?"

Do I need to do anything for tomorrow?

No. It's all in hand.

Someone from the shelter is coming to collect her at eight o'clock.

Long before visiting hours. So we should avoid any crossover with your dad.

When will I be able to see her after they take her?

When she's settled in. They can arrange for visits in neutral spaces,

coffee shops, stuff like that.

Thank you.

What do you pack for a woman who's never coming home again?

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

DILWYN: Beth?

What?

We need to get her out of there. It's messing with her head now.

She's sectioned, we can't just take her out.

She's my wife. I'll do what I fucking want.

She'll be out soon, as soon as they level her meds.

Have they said anything else to you?

No. This is normal.

You wouldn't know that, though, would you?

Oh, fuck off.

(DOOR SLAMS)

BETHAN: I've had a look and it wouldn't even cost that much to change your flight.

You could stay for another week. And come to the party the last day of school.

Please. I really want you there.

(GROANS) Nah. My exams are done. I'm just...

finished. It's time to go.

Yeah, your... Your exams are finished. Mine aren't.

Just view it as a service. You'll be staying to give me moral support.

Please.

But why?

You can't just leave tomorrow. It's crazy.

You're ditching having another week together?

I can't, Beth.

This is too hard.

It's hurting too much.

I know. Me, too.

-But isn't it better than not seeing each other? -No, like...

Being with you every day but knowing it's ending is killing me.

But it doesn't need to end.

Okay? I'm going to come to France eventually.

Maybe in a...

Maybe in a year, maybe less, maybe six months.

Just until my mum's on her feet.

Hm?

Is that really what you want?

'Cause it's my dream, but is it yours?

I don't even know what your dream is. We haven't talked about it.

I love you.

That's not a dream.

What do you want?

Without your mum, me, all the noise, like, what do you want?

See, you don't know.

That's the problem.

You spent so long living for other people and just...

pretending to be something you're not, you don't even know what you want.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

I love you so much, Beth.

-I always will. -(SNIFFLES)

You'll always be my first love and...

I'm always going to want to see you.

(SNIFFLES)

I know how you are, but I don't think you should follow me.

Why are you saying this?

I don't understand.

I want good things for you.

Okay.

Fuck you, then.

I'm just gonna go out.

Don't need to have something of me anymore, do you?

You know it's true.

Please don't do this.

-Can I get past. -Please don't go. Please.

Will you just stay with me?

♪♪ If I were to tell you

♪♪ The faces I put on

♪♪ The grins and sins and innocence

♪♪ Would you run with me?

♪♪ I left you crying at the table

♪♪ Alone, but not for long

Fuck you.

Come.

For everything.

♪♪ I'll be hanging with my head down

♪♪ The same old dirty tricks

♪♪ I keep on falling for you

♪♪ Falling into the undone

♪♪ While you get wasted

♪♪ On dry memories

I need to go.

♪♪ And I can't help but let you be

♪♪ 'Cause you get wasted

♪♪ On dry memories

You don't have to hug me like that.

I'm coming back to say goodbye.

I'll see you before you go.

Good luck.

Sending my love, okay?

Thank you.

♪♪ You're moving on ♪♪

-You got everything from your room? -Yeah.

Okay. It looks like we're ready, then.

Can you keep this safe please? It's got her passport and stuff in it.

-Yeah. -Thank you.

Ready?

Yeah.

-Am I allowed to call her later? -Of course. Often as you want.

-And don't forget, I'll be waiting. -Okay.

-Where you going to go now? -I'll stay with Cam.

-Stop worrying. -Oh.

Okay.

-Right, okay, go on. I'll speak to you later. -Yeah.

-You okay? -Yeah.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

(ENGINE STARTS)

She's safe now. They'll look after her.

Yeah.

(LINE RINGING)

Yeah, where are you?

CAM: I'm sorry I couldn't say bye again, Beth.

(SOBBING) I love you. And you know that.

-(SNIFFLES) -What's happened?

(SOBS) She's gone, Trav.

-She's gone. -Aw, come here. Come on.

Hey.

(SHUSHING)

It's okay.

I made you some stew.

You know how to make stew?

Yeah.

Can I stay here this week?

Just till we finish the exams.

Of course, you can.

Classic, like...

Fuckin' last years words, I can't believe it.

Loves you Lozza. Never change, Bibs.

What are you writing, Lyds?

Just what a massive legend you are.

Well that means a lot. Thank you.

Excuse me. Can I pass, please?

Oh, don't be so shady Pete. Have you got a message for us? Come on.

-What a colossal waste of ink. -Oh, come on, Pete.

Yes, yes. Just the miscreants I was after.

I've got a few choice words for all three of you as it goes.

-You first. -Are you gonna say how much you love me?

Oh, you wish.

Grow...

up.

Hey, gutted.

That could've been so much worse, by the way. So much worse.

Trevor. You're next, mate. Come here.

All right, guys, let's do it. Let's go in, come on.

Look what he doodled on mine.

-All best wishes for the future. -Oh, God. "Best wishes." That is so Peter.

Hey, Beth!

-Be honest now... -What?

Did your dad petrol bomb a house?

-Fuck off. You ugly man turd. -Suck my dick, baggy fanny.

Just get the hell away from us.

Her mum's in the mental hospital I've known for ages, I just didn't wanna say.

Did he?

What are you talking about, Priest? Shut up.

It's true, innit?

Walter's dad works with the police. He told him.

Ha! What a fucking psycho!

Fucking Down syndrome kid as well. Ha!

Oh, my God, man. That is low.

That's going viral, babe. I'm going to put it on social media now. Ha!

Fucking hell, man.

No, no listen to me.

You're head girl.

You're gonna be in this photo with your head held high.

Ignore the lot of them. Come on.

Um, three, two, one.

So now they know.

(ALARM BEEPING)

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN: (ON TV) Up to tricks, 46.

Beth, I've got your mother on the phone.

MAN: (ON TV) Twenty-two.

Shelter gave me the sofa.

Good of them, really.

Yeah.

Get more bits from the charity shop.

Matching.

I know it's not much, but I wanted to get you something, you know.

We can paint it as well.

Do you like it?

Yeah, I do.

What about bingo? Call a car?

They let you go up on stage. You get to do one of your poems.

No, I'm not doing a poem there.

Everything okay?

What's the matter?

I'm so unhappy, Mum.

That's not like you.

Something happened?

Something must have happened.

I can't.

I don't know, I don't know what it is.

Every day... I wake up and...

I feel like I can't breathe.

Like...

Like this... There's this weight on my chest...

that's pressing down.

I better go.

Don't go in.

I've got to. I'm on tills.

You know how much I wanted you, don't you?

I had four miscarriages.

And then Sophie was stillborn.

And I thought it was never going to happen.

Then I got pregnant again.

I prayed every day. Kept going to church

Got some rosary beads as well. Not even bloody Catholic.

Dad was telling everyone he was having a boy, but I knew.

I could feel you.

Strong.

Stronger than me, even then.

Came along right on your due date.

Hmm.

I went into labour at 3 AM and...

the sun rose... just as you arrived.

And that's exactly what it felt like.

Felt like the sun was shining down on me for the first time in my life.

I always wanted someone that I could love.

Someone to call me own.

Then I had you.

Your dad weren't there.

Got pissed and wound up scrapping but I was glad.

'Cause it was just me and you.

(EXHALES) I remember looking down at your face...

Oh, your perfect little face.

And I, I remember promising you, I'd always protect you.

That I would always keep you safe.

And that you'd never want for anything.

Well, I broke me promise.

-No, you didn't. -I did.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I tried.

God knows I tried.

Bastard bipolar.

Bastard men, huh.

I know how much you love me.

And I know...

I know you did everything you could.

I think the world of you... I'd do anything for you.

I know you would, love.

And you already have.

Now, I know I might have broke my promise,

but I want you to promise me something.

I want you to promise me you'll get out of this shithole.

-No way, I'm not leaving you. -Oh, come on!

I'll keep your room for you. And you can visit me anytime.

And I'll visit you.

-No... -There's phones...

No, I wouldn't be happy without you anyway.

Oh, bollocks. (SCOFFS)

Not happy now anyway, so?

What's the difference?

For once in your life,

I'm going to tell you what to do.

I want you to get out of here.

And I want you to do it for the both of us.

(SNIFFLES)

-I love you. -I love you, too.

You're my girl!

MS MORGAN: So what happened with your dad in the end?

He got off. Insufficient evidence...

Yeah.

Yeah, I know men like him.

-Do you? -Oh, yeah. Crawling with 'em 'round here.

Yeah. Not as bad as him, though.

Yeah, no fair play. Don't get much worse.

But, you know, I like to excel.

So, what can I do you for?

Erm... I'm not really sure, I don't know.

Just feel like I might have messed things up a bit.

-Mm, you're a teenager, it's what teenagers do. -Just feel like a dick.

Like I had all these plans and all this stuff I wanted to do...

I dunno, I just...

Just feel like I'm stuck here. No offense, like.

-Offense taken. -You know, I just...

I just feel like I let everyone down...

What do you think I should do?

I think you should go to university.

Imagine me, I'd hate all the people there.

If you think you won't find a single person you like

in a uni full of thousands, then your head's bigger than I thought it was.

Yeah, there'll be posh twats but just don't speak to them.

Find the Travises.

Yeah, but it's just, it's so expensive.

And they keep regurgitating the exact same lessons and the exact same subjects.

And as such you're regurgitating Cam, so...

Look, I'm not going to tell you university's the be all and end all, 'cause it's not.

But let's be real. You're skint.

No parents to fall back on. No connections, no nothing.

Jesus, miss. Kick a dog when it's down.

What you've got is a big brain.

A gob on you that occasionally has something interesting to say and decent grades.

Yeah, Cam's right. Uni isn't the Holy Grail. But...

They have student loans.

Probably some Bursaries as well.

Basically, it'll give you a way out. And fast, if we go through Clearing.

Pick a subject, pick a city, and we'll try and get you there.

Anywhere you've always wanted to live?

London.

Okay, well, that's a start.

Here. This is what I wanted to give you on results day.

Before you did your disappearing act.

Whatever you do, keep writing.

Thank you.

Welcome.

-It looks expensive. -Yeah, it bloody was. Look after it.

-Is that your bike? -Yeah.

-It's nice. -Ding-ding.

-Oh, my God, Blocker. Right? -Yeah, you alright.

Me and J's just going for a little bike ride.

See? Told you I got a life.

Listen, I was sorry to hear about all that business with your dad going a bit...

-coco-loco, and er... -Thanks, miss.

Fancy coming along or...?

-I haven't got a bike. -No, you do not. No.

Right. J, you ready?

I'll lead this time. You nearly killed us last week.

-Bye! -Tata!

MRS BLOCKER: Scusi, coming through.

-(BICYCLE BELL DINGS) -MRS BLOCKER: Get on the road...

-There she is, clever clogs. -Hey!

NANA: And this is a little something from me.

Aw, thank you. I love it.

Oh, and this.

Bloody hell, Nan. Do you expect me to shit myself every day, are you?

-It's your IBS. -Nan, shh!

They don't mind!

See you soon. See you soon, take care.

Where the hell have you been, Beth?

I cannot believe that you've been coming here every day without telling me!

We missed each other's 18th, Beth. We could've been hanging out.

But instead I've had the worst and most boring summer of my entire life.

-I am so sorry. -Do you wanna know what I've been doing without you here?

Sunday morning cinema club with Peter.

Who's in the club?

-Just me and Peter. -(BOTH LAUGH)

Fuck, that is bad!

Do you not trust me?

'Course I do. More than anyone.

Then why didn't you tell me?

Just wanted a different life.

I blame myself.

I knew things weren't right, but I also knew that...

-you didn't wanna talk about it. -No, Trav.

You're the best boy, you do know that, don't you?

It's true.

If I ever have a son, I want him to be just like you.

I mean that.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

Me, too.

-Where? -Goldsmith's, to do English with creative writing.

Ms Morgan helped me get in on Clearing.

Oh, thank Christ on a bike for that.

Because I can't ever look at you in that bingo uniform again, babe.

-I'm sorry, but-- -I thought it looked good!

You know who we got to go see, don't you?

Hey, er...

Lydia's got a job at her dad's company. Haven't you?

Hm? What do you sell, again? You...

(EXHALES)

Stairlifts.

-That's amazing. -Hm.

Yeah, it is actually. You can make loads of money doing it so...

I know! That's really cool. I'm not taking the piss.

-This is our first official legal drink. -Yeah.

Iechyd da, girls, eh?

-(GLASSES CLINK) -Cheers!

I prefer the park.

Yeah, well, when you've thrown up somewhere that much,

I suppose you do grow a soft spot for it.

Do you think you're funny?

-Lyd... -(SCOFFS)

Lydia... I love you.

-No, you don't. -I do!

No, because if you did, you wouldn't have been lying to me.

Be honest now. Do you even have a conservatory?

(SCOFFS) Un-fucking-believable!

Thank you.

Do you remember when Lorraine Chapman stuck one of these up her fanny?

(ALL LAUGHING)

She definitely went to hospital.

No way did her mother scoop that out.

Oh, my God. Do you think she's gonna give birth to, like, chipolatas?

Twin chipolatas.

Eww, now I'm thinking of her fanny...

♪♪ I will say it again

♪♪ ' Cause there's beauty in repetition

♪♪ And there's a beautiful end

♪♪ But my mind makes that decision

♪♪ And there's a girl in...

See you at Christmas.

Yeah. Let's do drinks on Christmas Eve, is it?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll check my diary.

(TRAVIS CHUCKLES)

-Well, see you laters. Munters! -Tata!

-Bye! -Make sure you ring me this time, okay?

I will.

LYDIA: Oh!

Eh, eh, eh...

That's our girl! (LAUGHS)

-Love you, bye! -TRAVIS: Bye!

-Good luck, Trav. -Good luck, babe.

♪♪ Like a woman Oooh, oooh

♪♪ It's a little bit of power ♪♪

(KEYS JINGLING)

BETHAN: Can't put it off any longer.

Hiya.

DILWYN: All right?

Yeah, I'm just going to go and gather those bits.

Er, yeah, yeah. Everything's in your room. I haven't touched nothing.

(ZIP CLOSING)

We got something here for you.

-Is that a laptop? -Yeah.

I thought you might need one.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

You all ready then?

Yeah, my bus is leaving soon, actually.

-How's your mother doing? -She's fine.

Do you know where she's living?

No. No one's allowed to know.

I... better go.

You need anything, money or whatever?

Just call me, I'll do my best.

Thanks.

Right. Well, erm...

Keep in touch.

Yeah, I will. Ta.

BETHAN: I will never be in a room with that bastard again as long as I live.

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Hiya.

Tryna think of a joke, but I can't.

Well, that's a first.

Now remember what you promised me.

This is your time now.

Yeah.

-Okay. -(BOTH SOBBING)

-Bye. -Love you.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

My name is Bethan Gwyndaf.

My mum is mentally ill and my dad is an abusive alcoholic.

I've seen things I shouldn't have seen.

I've known fear, deep fear that's sunk into my bones.

And I've felt shame.

But I've also felt such incredible love.

I've been wrapped up and saved by people's kindness and friendship.

By a mum who did everything she possibly could to give me a good life.

And now today, I feel proud.

I am so proud of myself.