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Well, uh, I've worked in several cities in radio.

So, yes, I feel I know music. Oh, okay.

Uh... All right.

...580, uh,

that was in Knoxville.

Uh, it was 1020 in Wilmington. Uh-huh.

Delaware? No, North Carolina. Wilmington, North Carolina.

Yeah, yeah. They got 'em everywhere.

I think it's an old Indian word

for "the sticks," you know? Yeah. Maybe.

I'm wrong about that-- Oh, pardon me.

Native American word for "the sticks."

It's just outside Baton Rouge.

Yeah. Travelin' man, travelin' man, huh?

Well, good and bad, travelin', you know?

Constant motion's just the new laziness.

Is that you, Martin? The new lazy?

Like I said, I just moved for the work.

Oh, did you say that?

No, I was just...

listing jobs in different cities. Uh-huh.

Right. Uh...

Anyway, I moved for the work.

I don't know how that's lazy. Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah. Me neither.

Me neither. But we'll find out.

All right? Well...

so what'd you do at these radio stations?

On-air?

I don't have what is widely considered

to be an on-air personality.

I just... Oh, yeah.

did some engineering mostly.

You think that kind of experience

is gonna be an asset here at this job?

No, I'm just trying to figure out what would be

an advantage to the-- you guys and the work you do.

Uh-huh. I...just...

answered an ad I saw.

All right, I like that.

I like that.

You're not a nervous guy, right?

Not afraid to answer questions,

even from the guy behind the desk, right?

All right, truthfully, some of us here, we said,

"You know, Shank, we might wanna wait, you know?

"We might wanna get the core going-- the core--

"before we give the wrong impression, you know,

alienate some good people."

But he said, "No, we hit the ground running.

"And anybody who can't rally with that,

well, we didn't want 'em in the fist place, right?"

And Shank's the boss.

Shank is the man. He is.

Well, I'll tell you what.

I am not gonna say yes. All right?

But you come to our seminar,

you meet Shank, we see what he thinks,

and, uh, we'll go from there.

How's that sound?

Sounds like a start.

All right. Hey, sorry about our mess in here.

We're setting up our office from Chicago down to here. Oh, it's--

So, you know, if something breaks,

we gotta get a purchase order from Chicago.

They gotta cut a check from Chicago. You know, on and on and on.

It's just like, "Hello, Chicago. Hello."

I know. I'm in the middle of moving now myself. All right. Yeah.

Hey, I'll see you Saturday, 9 A.M.

All right? But one thing, Martin.

It's really important.

Otherwise, it's a waste of time.

You good with people?

Yeah. Excellent.

All right. We'll see you later.

All right. Bye-bye.

[door opens]

Hey.

Nice shades, dude. Yeah.

Oh, my God. There's, like, three times as many as when I left.

I just have 13 more, and then I'm done. Mm-hmm.

How did it go this afternoon?

Uh, the interview went fairly well.

Yeah? So it could turn into something.

You are really knocking these ducks out.

I know.

We were sent out on this data entry job.

Yeah, same as me. Punching numbers on the keypad.

Yeah. You know what they had me doing?

They sit me down at this chipboard table

with, like, these six old ladies.

I'm, like, folding these little pieces of fabric in half...

You are shitting me. ...and stapling them onto a little card.

And then they canned me because I was only doing, like, 1,600 a day,

instead of 3,000 or some shit like that.

It was ridiculous. No more temp work. No more.

I'm with you, man.

[all chattering]

The name's Clarence.

Martin. Good to meet you.

No, thanks. I'm gonna get some water.

You know how you do this here, right?

You say, "Hey, uh, I'll make the coffee."

And then you come over here, and you kind of stand,

and you wait for that first cup.

That one's strong, see.

And that one be good.

[muttering]

I'll be damned if this ain't the bottom of the batch.

We're about to head on in there,

so you fellas get your coffee fixed up anyway you want,

and you join us, all right?

Damn, you's a white fella.

Just fuckin' with you, man.

I knew you was white all along.

[chuckling] Come on, man. Let's go.

When I started out in this industry 27 years ago,

I worked with a small company that was influential

in developing the world music scene

back in the late '70s.

When I broke out on my own,

I was fortunate enough

to work with a young pop star, Stephanie,

whose song "Body Glow"

went to number three on the charts in '87.

* Body glow

* What I feel beside me

[all chuckling]

I also spent time on the charts

with the Australian group The Lowtowners...

Lowtowners. ...and the rap group CRAZO.

Get outta here.

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Now...

One-shots? Maybe.

But they all had their moment.

And you don't hear them complaining

as they're whipping around in their Miatas today.

With the smart ones, the money is still there.

But more important than that,

I'm still here. [Clarence] Mm-hmm.

** [piano]

Yeah, I love that riff.

I can hear two guitars coming in right there.

It's terrific.

Hello and welcome.

Over the next 45 minutes,

I'm gonna show you the ins and outs

of an exciting career in the music business.

Come on. Together we'll discover how it works.

** [drum fill]

** [rock]

Do you know how most people get rich?

When it comes to innovation,

do you really think it's the guy

that comes up with this amazing thing

like those Segway scooters,

or the space shuttle,

or, you know, something like that?

I mean, do you?

Well, it's not.

No, those guys are few and far between.

Most of them end up dead

while someone else gets rich on their idea.

Most people that make it in this country today

just do it on volume.

They come with a-- a simple idea,

but yet something everyone can use,

like a bolt,

or a slightly different bolt,

or a bowl that holds just a little more cereal.

A slight change. Small innovation.

Uh, son-- What's your name, son?

Henry. Henry. Henry.

What's your favorite song, Henry?

Uh...yeah.

I don't know. I don't really have a favorite song.

I can't think of a one.

Well, it's really not gonna help take me where I wanna go

with this...

but let me ask Layton here.

Layton, what's your favorite song--

all-time favorite song?

Well, you know you already know, Shank.

Always gonna be "Dock of the Bay." [Man] Good one.

Mm-hmm. All right.

Layton and I go way back.

So this was a bit of a set-up here, okay?

But here's our point.

That's a great song.

Everybody's heard that song.

Now, if you could get paid for every time a song plays,

would you like to own the rights to that song?

Or to a little old song like "Happy Birthday"?

Huh? You get it. You get it.

All right. Yeah. See what I mean?

Now, we've interviewed, what,

nearly 80 men for these positions. Mm-hmm.

And you guys can all count.

There's not 80 men in this room. Okay?

With us, you will scout and discover new musicians,

and help them to record their music.

By helping these young artists,

you'll also be learning to help yourselves.

You're here today

because we felt you have the qualifications

to become producers with our company.

After we record these new artists in our studios,

we take these now polished recordings

and we send them out to radio stations,

along with A&R reps at the majors.

How many sales equal gold?

Can anyone answer that question?

Half a million. 500,000?

I just said that.

I didn't hear you.

[Layton] All right, guys.

Let's turn to page three, please.

[chuckling] He said it soft.

All right, here's the big one.

All right?

How much can we make? All right?

What would you guys say

if I said that you listen to me on this job,

you can sock away upwards of a grand a month extra?

That's after rent,

bills, and taking the Mrs. out

every Friday night.

Mm-hmm. All right. Now, listen.

Up in Chicago,

we had salespeople

making that every three weeks.

But that was Chicago.

This is Charlotte, my friend.

[both chuckling]

That's exactly why we decided

to set up shop here, okay?

People here, they aren't afraid to cowboy up.

They hear something that sounds good to them, all right?

All right, here's the last thing we're gonna do before we break.

[dial tone]

[Female voice] Thank you for choosing

Metropolitan Banking Solutions.

Please enter your account information.

This is my personal account number.

6-5-11-18. [all laughing]

[Female voice] As of May 7th,

your balance is...

$13,876

and 33 cents.

Think those numbers will get you through lunch?

I think it's pretty awesome

they signed Stephanie.

I pretty much had the biggest crush on her

in sixth grade.

Oh, Jesus. Dude, Stephanie sucks.

[chuckling]

It says here that they press

about a thousand CDs for every album.

I mean, that's an okay amount, right?

It's probably enough. Shank obviously knows what he's doing.

You ever think this is

all there was, though,

to being a producer?

Yeah, man, some of these people,

I'm worried they're retarded.

I'm like, "Hey,

"can't you figure out nothing for yourself?

Put your damn hand down."

But, actually, I'm liking a lot of the things

that they're saying.

Well, there was a couple times I said,

"Now, how can that be right?"

But-- But then they will show you, see, how they--

they working with a-- a whole new idea.

And-- And, like, they innovated that idea

and come up with their deal.

Shit, you need a job, you need a job, right?

You gotta do something, right?

You damn skippy.

But I think I can even dig this, though,

'cause if you get the right people,

they blow up, we even get big.

I ain't talking myself outta nothing. Yeah.

I mean, I have known a lot of really talented people

who've never gotten a chance.

You talking about when you coming from radio or--

You make music, too? No, no.

I used to play a guitar a little,

but that's when I was dating a girl who was in a band.

I wrote, but that was when I dated a girl who was a writer.

I even did Pilates,

but that was when I was dating this girl

who was a modern dancer, so...

Yeah, I had this girl once who liked to do anal.

Yeah?

What's the lady you with now do?

Um, she does just about everything.

Really? No, not like that.

She draws, she paints,

she carves stuff out of wood,

makes T-shirts.

You have a real artist.

Well, you do like with the others,

and do everything she do,

you not gonna have much time to do this.

No, I got out of that habit pretty much.

Mostly, I'm just, like, her assistant.

She calls me her idea man.

And what kind of ideas you give her?

Don't worry, man. I ain't gonna steal 'em.

I was thinking of trying to convince Guinness

to market their beer to black people.

I thought you could use, like, the imagery of, like,

strong black fellas,

and, like, beautiful dark women.

Not like Beyoncé,

but, like, dark women.

Showing them, like, drinking at the bar.

Maybe mix that in with footage of, like,

black dudes at the boxing gym working out.

You could really push it to that market.

Man, you know what?

You the crazy kind of white fella that I like.

We gonna get along just fine.

Okay, fellas, let's get started here.

Uh, I'm gonna need one of you

to help with what we wanna do here.

So, suggestions, Layton, who you wanna--

[Layton] Uh, yeah,

radio prodigy will work.

Martin.

Okay, Martin. Let's go.

Get 'em, Martin.

All right.

Okay. Well, sit down and, uh--

Oh.

Should I just-- Yeah.

No, you can sit. Yeah, sit down.

Okay, well, sit down.

And, uh, would you like a coffee,

a bottled water, or anything like that?

No, thanks. I just ate lunch.

Okay. [Men laughing]

Uh, you know what?

I'd love to sit here and talk to you all day,

um, but it's really our policy

that we hear you perform in person first--

[Shank] Okay, hold it just a sec.

Always talk policies.

You only want them to sing one song.

Otherwise you're gonna have people singing at you all day.

Okay?

So pretend Martin sang, and go.

Wow. Excellent, Martin.

You have a great, strong voice. Thank you.

I-- Some of your background music,

I'd, you know--

Honestly, it was a little canned,

but that's something that we can help you with.

I'm sorry about that.

I had, um, just kind of taped

all that stuff while I was at work,

and I probably should have just waited?

So you work with other musicians, then?

That's-- That's good.

No, I work in sales.

[Men chuckling]

Okay. All right.

Or say, uh,

"All I had was my church's recording equipment,

and it didn't really have the instruments I needed."

I worked in a church-- What do you envision your music sounding like?

What?

What do you envision your music sounding like?

Um, I was thinking, like,

the second part of it

would be, like, really grand sounding

and have, um... [sighs]

...piano, and, like, violins--

Violins. Great. That's great.

You know, we have a studio in Nashville, Tennessee,

where we hire musicians for just such things.

So that's-- that's great. That sounds really great.

There's a lot that goes into making a CD.

I mean, you have to pay the mixer--

the mixer's time,

you gotta pay musicians,

you gotta press CDs,

you gotta pay people to mail them out.

As you can understand, it's a considerable expense.

We really do not sign people

that we don't think have a really good shot of being heard.

But they have to have some financial responsibility.

Wait. Why should I have to pay anything?

Well, it's 'cause we're not a big distributor.

We're the artist's ally.

You know, we don't--

We're not taking your rights or your song

and running off, taking the profit that you deserve.

But the average cost of a CD now

is about $10,000

to do it in the studio. And I pay how much of that?

No, that's our cost. That's ours.

You pay 30%,

which works out to $3,000.

I don't know. That seems like a lot of money to ask somebody--

And hold, hold.

Way to pick it up there, fellas.

Let me just jump in here, though. Okay.

All right. Here's where we start massaging them with metaphors,

like we talked about this morning.

Simple correlations to how

they're spending money in their lives now.

Ask them if they smoke cigarettes.

Tell them to think of it as a way to quit smoking.

Mm-hmm. And this is also an excellent point, guys.

If they're having trouble with the money,

see if there's someone they can borrow it from.

And we will,

under certain circumstances,

offer to drop the percentage

on recording a full album... Mm-hmm.

...or to allow them to record

a percentage of an album.

We really want to work with them here.

Okay?

Uh, thanks-- thanks a lot, Martin.

You did a great job. Thanks, Martin.

[applause] Woo-hoo!

Now, keep one thing in mind that I've always preached to you guys.

It's all about the song.

Mm-hmm. The song.

You're gonna have these people singing to you.

You wanna listen. It's so important.

Now, these are artists, guys. A lot of these songs...

[crowd chattering]

Cheers!

[groans]

[door opens]

Hey.

Hi.

Ow! [chuckling]

Hey.

I have a hot thing of wax.

What, are you drunk? [chuckling]

Huh? Hmm?

Stayed and drank with these people.

Hmm? Just one drink.

You were out with the music people? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Just waited till I drove fine,

and then I drove fine.

That's a good sign. Uh-huh.

[chuckling]

[laughing]

What is this? [laughing]

What is this?

In the-- In the music industry,

it's not the quality of the belt,

it's the emotion of the belt. Whatever.

They said a lot of things to me.

What are you gonna be doing exactly?

Auditioning people and listening to their music.

I'll be the guy--

one of the guys--

deciding who they take a chance on.

You know, who gets their shot,

gets to record. Do they really think

there's enough talented people in Charlotte

to go ahead and open up an office down here? Oh, hell, no.

They said I'll be on the road at least once a week soon.

Yeah, I guess I'll be traveling a lot, too,

now that Lorna wants to do all those shows.

** [acoustic guitar on stereo]

It'll be good, though, right?

We'll both be doing what we wanna do.

I think it seems pretty cool.

I mean, it's kinda like what we were gonna do together, right?

Once we get enough money, turn this room into an office,

I'll try and sell your stuff on the Internet.

This'll be kinda like practice for that.

Pick up a few business pointers.

Anyway, I think it's good, you know,

to help other people get their stuff out there,

just like we're gonna do with you, you know?

You're getting rid of that one?

You already have it. They're not--

I need a more eclectic music collection for work.

I mean, you've been romanticizing

this marriage of our music for months now.

All right.

But it does mean something, you know:

stuff becoming ours.

This sucks.

Suck.

Sucks.

[knocking on door]

Enter!

[door opens]

Hello. Hey, how are you?

Uh, Roger? Yes.

Clarence. Clarence, nice to meet you.

This is my partner Martin. Martin.

Martin. Nice to meet you.

Come right over here and have a seat.

How are y'all today? Good. How about yourself?

Yeah. Good.

Oh, so why don't you play something for us then?

I don't play instruments.

I sing, uh, contemporary,

inspirational Christian music.

So that's what that is. Oh, okay.

So if I just play this,

then you can sing along to it? Yep.

No, I-- If you play this, I can sing along to it.

Oh, that's actually you singing.

Yeah.

Oh, let's listen to you sing.

* And I could

* But I won't *

* So I will see you

* Again

* Tonight, tonight

* My friend

* Different countries of the world, yeah *

* Different countries of the world, yeah *

* Different countries of the-- *

* Where did you go?

* I don't know *

* You were there for a second *

* Alabaster sand castles

This is a song I wrote about an ex-- not an ex--

an old stepsister, like, from a prev--

You know, parents got divorced and stuff.

[Martin] Oh, okay.

I don't do music full time.

I mean, I have a-- I have a full-time job and everything.

Oh, okay. My wife saw your ad and--

* I rearranged all the letters *

* In my first and last name *

* To try and give this book a better title *

Uh, I wrote this song after--

after we watched Brewster's Millions.

Like, not when it came out,

but earlier this year on TBS.

** [slow rock drums]

* --light of that City

Whoa! [Martin applauding]

[laughing]

* He's the light *

* He's the light *

* He's the light *

Pull your chair back up there.

That was great stuff.

Christian, like, kinda, Peter Gabriel even.

[Clarence] Guess what.

Your life's about to change.

[chuckles] That's why you came here, right?

You wanna put together an album?

You want a professional album?

Yeah, I'd like to see something come forth.

How much money could we get from you today,

like, to put towards making an album with you?

How much money? Uh-huh.

Like, what kind of financial commitment could you make?

Oh, gosh.

I don't know. I'm not sure.

Today, you know, it's...

See, this is what we do.

We-- We produce--

We produce records, and we--

What label or what record company are you?

Well, we're the Great World of Sound.

We have a professional recording studio in Nashville

that we use. Okay, great.

And we got voice people, backup people.

We got all the musicians. We got the whole deal.

You spent quite a bit of money

preparing your tracks, I would assume.

Well, that right there,

that's just a karaoke track.

Oh, I see. Are you willing to travel?

Yeah. No problem.

Got kids? No.

No kids. Got a wife?

Uh, I'm getting married tomorrow night, but--

Get out of here!

The one time I could go was today.

I got to be up in the mountains at 5:00

for the rehearsal dinner and all that.

Martin, tell him some of the things

about how the financing on the album developments go.

Oh. Well, um...

usually, like, what we...

would ask for, like, from you

is, like, just a commitment

to know that you're, like, serious about this.

I don't know the exact figures,

but-- but, you know,

we usually, like, ask for, like, 30%.

Like, we pay for the rest of it.

Like, we pay for the promotion and the packaging

and the CDs and stuff.

It would just be to help with the recording costs.

Do you want to stay at this level,

or you want to move up to the bigger time?

Well, I'm wanting to go up big time.

Okay. That requires that you make

a good faith down payment.

Are you prepared today to give us a check?

Not today, I'm not.

You're not prepared to take up the-- okay.

As far as, like, the money for, uh,

like, say, the $3,000 just for the number,

like, when would I--

when would I be required to come up with that amount?

Now.

Can't do it. No, we would like you

to make a good faith contribution today.

Shit, man.

We're going to work with you.

I've got 5 bucks. You've got 5 bucks.

We're leaving for our honeymoon, like, Sunday.

500, 3-- 300.

Yeah.

And we'll be set.

I'd love to throw out $300,

but I might not be able

to sleep in the same room with her.

The end of the day, you've got an album.

And this is my--

For the rest of your life

if you never do another one.

And not just an album

that you hand out to your friends.

We're going to handle distribution.

Right. I mean, I--

Sounds good. Sounds exciting.

It does. This is very exciting.

It's kind of like looking over the edge of the cliff.

It's like, do you jump or-- I don't know.

We have the paperwork available and ready.

Why don't we get started?

And let's process this,

and you can sign on the dotted line.

Think about jumping over the cliff,

like, when you skydive for the first time,

and somebody's strapped to your back

and they can pull the cord for you.

We're those guys for you, you know?

Man, this sales shit is some crazy shit.

I don't know, though.

You kept jumping in with the good stuff.

I just don't know

how to deal with these people here.

These-- You know, these artist types--

you know, white people, see? You understand?

See, it's just nuts.

"My ex-wife almost bought a time-share."

That's some nutty stuff.

You know what? It'll be easier

once we get the right people.

I mean, these less talented ones,

it's going to be work.

Work my ass, man.

Hey, listen, I'm going to tell you something.

Listening to that shit there

and watching some motherfucker about to cry on you,

now, that's straight pain, brother.

Now, I worked as a bouncer

over on North Tryon.

I done heard all the music these college kids--

I swear to you, I promise you,

ain't none of it was ever as bad as that.

Man, let's go on back in there.

This will be ready in a little bit.

Dude, The Lowtowners were fierce.

They were pioneers.

I had both their albums.

Did you? Thank you very much.

That song where the girl slit her throat...

And second of all, I'm not really comfortable

talking about this kind of thing.

Could you tell me the traditional way it works?

Yeah. All I'm saying is

if you make them feel special,

we have a higher chance

of signing everybody we audition.

But I thought we were only supposed to sign the good ones.

That's a great question, Henry.

I like that.

Let me put it to you this way.

Think of us as a big university,

a big public university with 60,000 kids.

Now, we know all 60,000

aren't going to come out magna cum laude

if they even come out at all.

I know I barely got out by the skin of my teeth myself.

But the purpose of the university

is to still graduate the best and the brightest

into society.

Now, do you think that handful,

that few best and brightest,

do you think their tuition's enough

to pay for all those teachers

and to pay for all those big buildings?

[chuckling] No way.

It takes a lot of guys

with their hats turned around backwards

to ensure that those classrooms are open for the best.

The people that we sign, even the good ones,

are going to have cold feet.

They're going to have the talent,

but they won't have the work ethic,

and on and on.

So we have to cover for the dropouts.

Now, I know this is a lot for you to digest,

but trust us.

There is a method to our madness.

You'll all catch on eventually, okay?

So tell me about your first day.

We didn't do so good today.

Bad musicians?

Not the best.

But we signed somebody,

so trying to look at that as an upside.

That's a good sign, right? Mm-hmm.

I made this too hot, didn't I?

It's good.

I think we should get MTV 2, for research.

Hey. Sorry, babe. I didn't-- What?

M-Martin's office.

Hey, man, it's Clarence.

Your lady mad?

What are y'all doing, sleeping, fucking?

Well, anyway, listen, man,

guess where I'm calling you from.

Um, your house?

No, man, come on. Just listen.

[traffic sounds]

Don't you hear all them outside noises

and cars and everything?

I'm calling you from my new cell phone, baby.

Ha! That's right.

Layton gave me a cell phone.

He said we're his "A" men.

It's great for being out on the road.

And you know what else?

It makes me look like a producer, baby.

I'm standing in the parking lot,

and I'm making this happen.

Cool.

Listen, we ain't got no auditions

in town here for the next week, okay?

And-- And we ain't getting paid from Chicago

for another week, even after that.

That ain't going to work for me, man.

I got to make some money,

so I want to know if you want to get out on the road.

We're going to get out there

and start signing us some stars, baby.

Yeah. Sure. Let's just do it.

Where were you thinking about heading?

Well, Layton said he's got some ads

in Biloxi and in Birmingham.

I don't know which one it is right now

because I don't have the paper in front of me.

If it's Biloxi, we'd be the Biloxi Blues Brothers

on the road, baby.

And if it's Birmingham,

well, shit, it's just-- we'd be going to Birmingham.

Okay.

I'm going to call you tomorrow.

And I apologize to your lady, man.

Tell your lady I, you know,

I didn't mean to be no coitius,

uh, interuptius, okay?

Okay. Okay?

That sounds good.

All right. Well, ciao, baby.

All right. Bye.

All right, I went ahead

and scheduled all of these for you.

You got to confirm them from the road, okay?

Your hotel is all paid for.

You just got to check in.

But listen, don't get used to it.

From now on, the hotels,

they're going to come out of your paychecks,

and you're going to do all your own scheduling.

Today I gave you a couple of freebies.

Well, where are we supposed to do this at?

Out of the hotel.

In the conference room or something?

If you want to personally pay for the conference room.

Look, out of the rooms

is how we've always done it, fellas, all right?

Just, you know, bring a little CD player

or a little tape thing from your house.

Look, listen, fellas, it's all about you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What in God's name are you doing?

If we got to do it out of our hotel,

we got to bring our credibilities with us.

No, no, no. I cannot let you take those out of here.

You said yourself ain't nothing going on here this weekend,

so we'll have them back by Monday.

Sunday night.

Okay.

Let's go, man.

Hello.

Yeah, this is Clarence

from Great World of Sound Productions.

That's right, the same, the same.

Yeah, I'm calling just to make sure

that you're right on time for your 2:00

because we're going to be running a real tight schedule.

Well, thank you, too.

I look forward to meeting you, either.

That place. That's right. Bye-bye.

I don't know if we're going to sign up any of these people,

but at least we're going to have a whole mess of them.

Well, you know what they said.

With bad students at a university,

we just sit there like the Dean of Admissions.

You know?

Yeah, whatever.

Watch your-- Watch your head.

Aah! You all right?

Yeah, you know,

when you hold one of these up,

it's kind of amazing,

isn't it?

I mean,

it's so much work.

It looks just like a regular record,

but it's gold.

All right, what the shit is this?

There ain't but one motherfucking bed in here.

Man, fuck this. This ain't--

There ain't but one motherfucking bed, man.

Maybe there's one in the suite. I'll go check.

Okay.

There's not one in there, either.

You want me to go tell the lady downstairs?

You going to pay for it? No.

Now, I see what this shit is all about.

The room was in your name, right?

So they got one bed for the white guy

and then one-- two little couches

for the-- the nigger cohort.

Huh.

Okay, I'm not really that comfortable

with the word...

"cohort."

No, see-- No, no, no, man.

I ain't laughing this off, motherfucker.

That shit ain't funny. This ain't funny!

I don't know why you think it's just happening to you.

I'll tell you what. You take the bed.

I'll sleep on the couch.

I'll probably fucking fit on it.

Yeah, fuck it. We'll stay here, man.

I'll tell you what. You take the bed tonight.

I'll sleep on the two little couches.

Leastwise, this place has got a beautiful pool,

and you watch me, man,

and see if I don't swim in every pool

in every place we stay.

Hey! What you going to do now, Birmingham?

Ah!

Nice phone they gave us, huh?

Yeah, man. I was just looking it over.

Think might actually be a camera phone

if we could figure it out.

Whoa, what makes you say that?

Oh. That there on the back near the top,

I think it might be a lens or something.

Let me see-- Let me see, all right?

Man, you're crazy.

That's a motherfucking screw.

I was going to say,

if they gave us real cameras, partner,

I'd know these motherfuckers are legit.

All right.

Um, yeah, you drive safe, too.

Okay. Bye.

You want to call your girlfriend?

No, man. She-- She's at work anyway.

And she knows she will see me when she sees me.

And I got a feeling that when she sees me,

she's going to be real happy

when she finds out how this went tomorrow.

Well, I hope that we find

some really talented people tomorrow,

you know, that we can ride all the way to the top.

Here's to making some money.

Oh. I'll toast you. I'm not going to drink

because I just brushed my teeth.

Don't you get too attached to that there bed

because tomorrow, brother, this here is you.

Man, we're up so damn early,

the maids ain't even in here yet.

I'll be right back.

Good. You got the bed.

Floor's good.

Uh, I look good.

Here. Yeah.

I'll even look better.

[liquid sloshing]

You know what?

I just bought these damn things.

They don't weigh shit.

Hey, man, listen, man.

Hurry up in there, okay?

Because our first audition's

supposed to be here already.

Yeah, I'll be out in a minute.

All right. And don't be taking no shits in there

and smelling up the place before our 9:00.

Okay, I'm not!

[muttering]

Just let me brush my goddamn teeth!

Jesus!

[grunting]

Wha-- Aah!

Oh.

I got to-- I got to--

I got to do something, man.

Uh, I'll be bench-pressing

that there dresser over there, man,

if I don't do something here

because, you know,

I got so much stuff swimming around my head.

Look, I'm sorry, man.

I'm going to go downstairs

and wait for her in the lobby.

Hi. Martin.

Hi, Martin.

Please have a seat.

So how are you?

I'm fine, thanks.

What brings you here today?

Well, there's a little ad in the paper.

It was a newspaper that my neighbor was throwing out,

and I just grabbed it,

and I saw this little ad for, um,

for people to come in and audition.

I'm glad you're here.

Uh, we're a small record company,

and so we like to find new talent,

people that are unknown

where it's not necessarily something

that a major record company's

going to jump on, you know,

but something as a specialty sort of record company

that we can maybe do something with, you know?

[Woman] Okay.

We get excited about people

that, you know, haven't been heard before.

We get excited about letting them be heard, you know?

There's a lot of people in this country

that just never get the chance, you know what I mean?

Yeah. That's fantastic. Yeah.

I just brought two songs.

I brought two varieties.

I brought a song that's more subtle

called "Lord Knows",

and I brought another song

which is more upbeat, more of a party groove,

just to give y'all two sides of what I've been doing.

What's that one called?

Uh, "I Came to Party".

This song is called "Today",

and it's just about...

I guess, like, it would be, like,

looking back over a summer, you know?

Summer loves and beaches and everything.

You's a awfully wise woman

for 14 years of age.

I-- I'm just thunderstruck here.

Go ahead. Let me hear this.

* I sold out

* For another hour

* Just sold out

* Where are you gonna go? *

* Oh, just--

* And she leaves with a feeling *

* Of astonishment

Most every day.

* Ha la la

* Wa na na na na

* Ha la la

* Wa na na na na

* Ha la la

* Wa na na na na

[harmony] * Waking up in the night

* Oh

* It don't seem right *

Just-- [Martin] Great.

I can tell you guys all like each other a lot,

and that's really great,

and you all look really good together.

Thanks.

And I think the music is great.

[Clarence] So tell me about yourself

and what your aspirations are.

Jenny's the one who found the ad,

so I think Jenny should be the one to answer that.

Yeah, it's definitely our dream,

and I saw the opportunity,

and I wasn't really sure what it was about,

but might as well try it--

open that door and see what can happen.

[Clarence] What is it that you want to happen?

Um, I want to not be--

I don't want to work in a restaurant.

How about you?

I love performing,

and I want to be respected musically,

and, uh, I want to be known.

You want to be known.

What I need to know today is what kind of commitment

I can get from this group, from Jobula,

financial commitment today,

that we can enroll you on our roster.

I mean-- We don't fucking have any.

Come on. Some-- Something today.

...the treasurer, but, I mean,

we have to talk about money.

We're not going to come up with $4,000.

[Clarence] Well, just do a portion of it.

What do you say? It's just a shot.

You guys-- This is what we do.

If you want to come up with 500 today.

You came here to make a record.

Do we have a deal?

We have to go with our guts.

Make a commitment to Martin.

I need everyone in here to say yes.

I'm not just the yes girl.

I can come up with, you know,

a little bit of the $500.

I just, you know--

I can probably come up with 100.

All right. Come on. Everybody in here.

You're all a team. We're a family here.

My hand's sweaty.

Come on, Martin, get in here.

I brought you some words, too,

if you want to look at them.

Oh, we can read along?

I'm a teacher, so this is where

the anal retentiveness comes in.

* There ain't nothin' you can tell me *

* I ain't heard from another man *

* So put your dirty boots back on *

* And button up your shirt

That's embarrassing.

[Martin] I just want to talk about one thing

because I have to get this out of the way, you know.

I think we're going to have a hard time,

uh, selling you with the name Ganja.

What?

You know-- Oh, man!

No, no, no. No, wait.

You want to go to Layton

and tell him that you just signed

a guy named Ganja?

Listen, listen--

Oh, I see.

I'm-- I'm with my brother.

It's not black against white.

You want to make it

a black against white thing,

but it's not about that.

It's about a marijuana thing.

I'm looking for the album to be produced.

I've got the album in my head,

and that was what I thought you guys--

That's actually what we're about.

We produce the album.

Now, who owns the rights to the music?

You. "Happy Birthday".

You know that song "Happy Birthday"?

Sure. Sure.

That's-- Somebody wrote that,

and every time that that's used--

cha-ching. On television.

Yeah. Or on the radio.

Not every time at a birthday party

that someone sings it.

You got to make them feel like you're their friend.

Like if I just go--

What I see you do sometimes--

you get them right to the point.

You got them. You've over here.

You're talking to them,

and then, when you start to talk money,

you walks away from them,

and you let them off the hook, then, see?

You got to stay on them now at this point.

When-- When you-- When you're right at the money,

you know, that's when you--

Just stay there.

You caress them, you know,

with your words,

and you might even put your hand on their back,

you know, and listen now--

Touch them?

I can hear your talent,

but the recording is just making me crazy

because I can't hear you.

Our important thing is in producing a quality album

that we can feel proud of

and that we know we're going to take that out

and give it to somebody and sell it to them.

This is the kind of company we are.

We're going to provide you with an opportunity

to make yourself big,

and we're also going to get out in front

and help blow you up, okay?

Yeah, we just want to talk

about some kind of financial commitment on your part

in order to initially get the ball rolling.

How much of a financial commitment?

You know, all we're looking for from you is-- is--

An assurance that you're going to follow through.

$2,000 or $3,000. Okay.

Does that seem reasonable?

That sound good to you?

Yeah, I can pay $1,000.

Well, look, before we finalize everything,

let's take a picture with the picture phone

and send it back to the office.

There you go. Give me a big successful smile.

Uh, this is it. [beep]

Got that. You're too good, man.

Usually I'm sitting here writing all these notes,

and I didn't even pick up my clipboard

because I was just...

transfixed because it was really terrific.

It was really beautiful.

Oh, gosh.

In fact, I'll write "terrific" here.

I just want to write something.

Have you written any songs yourself?

Your own songs?

We have a lot of, you know, people

that write music.

Yes. Oh!

Okay. Oh, yes.

I can't read music.

Well, you can sing.

Fear not.

The important thing

is that you know someone that writes music.

Then you retain the publishing rights.

Do you know the song "Take It to the Limit"?

By The Eagles? Yes.

My husband wrote that song.

Your husband wrote "Take It to the Limit"?

Him and his brother wrote that song,

and, um, uh, what's that--

* Wake up, Little Susie, wake up *

So he understands the songwriting business.

Well, he doesn't. He did that when he was a kid.

He wrote it when he was a kid. Didn't he get paid?

No. They just put it in the mail,

in the post box,

and sent it off to the radio station.

Uh-- Because they were wanting new songs, you see.

So we got-- This is Mark or Gabe?

Sir.

There, this is Mark.

And you guys are Marked.

So you're Mark and Marked.

I'm excited, guys.

Don't mind me. I'm a little excited

because we have-- well, we had--

we had one group in here,

but we've never had two different groups of guys that--

It's stereo.

A lot of cooperation.

** [vocalizing]

* I won't always weep by your side *

* I won't always weep by your side *

* I won't always weep by your side *

* Won't you fall? *

* And I die *

* Daily to myself? *

Jukebox or whatever.

It's your money that you get for--

...we require of our new artists

because we're putting out a lot of money up front.

And we're putting a lot of money up front

for the production of--

...a portion in, you understand?

And we ask for, you know--

...your financial portion--

...you know, you guys to participate in that.

We set up all the studio time--

[strumming guitar]

Sometimes I do the horns myself.

Oh, that's cool.

[imitates trumpet]

[imitates trumpet]

* As I fly away

* To the highest mountaintop *

* I will call your name

* How I love

* Your sweet name, oh darlin' *

* You are mine tonight

* I will carry you through the door *

* To the threshold of a land *

* And as friends we bear witness *

* To love and commitment

* From then

It's really beautiful.

We could probably afford

to get you a actual trumpet.

Yeah, that would be cool.

You know.

You all right, man?

Actually, that thing you're starting to do with the phone

is bothering me some.

Hey, it's just a little something

that popped in my head, you know?

I think it helps.

Give them a little something extra.

It's cool.

I mean, look, just because it's a lie

does not mean it's not a good idea.

When we make a little money,

we'll get one that, like, really does take pictures.

** [man singing in German]

Hoy, hoy!

You know that one, huh?

It's a old standard, man.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, what do you want to sing for us today?

A song I wrote.

A song that you wrote.

All right. What's it all about?

National anthems.

You wrote a song about national anthems?

You mean you're singing "The Star-Spangled Banner"?

No, sir. No, sir.

She ain't singing no version

of "The Star-Spangled Banner".

The song she wrote

is the most beautiful song I ever heard.

I did two tours of Vietnam, so I ought to know.

We-- We're-- We'd love to have her sing it.

We're excited to hear it.

She's good to go.

* In the wars

* When the wars were still going, going strong *

* Weren't nobody in the wars *

* Who was living very long

* Asked my teacher why folks die *

* She said some folks, they die for songs *

* It's how they know that they belong *

* Don't mess with me, don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* You think I'm kiddin' *

* I'm not kidding *

* Got my finger on the trigger *

* So get your ass behind the singer *

* I'm like Texas, I'm like Texas *

* I'm like Texas, only bigger *

* This song is for the catamarans *

* And y'all with the super-bad Trans-Ams *

* For what you done in churches *

* And for what you done in bars *

* Just helps you stand up when it's hard *

* 'Cause that's all the national anthems are *

Don't think no less of her

for that swear she put in there.

I let her put it.

Mr. Kent,

I wouldn't think no less of that angel

if she hauled off and punched my partner in the face.

That is such a beautiful song, Kyndra.

It's a beautiful, beautiful song.

So y'all can help her?

Mr. Kent, we've been sitting here

for a couple of days now,

and I swear to you--

First thing we're going to do

is get Kyndra and you into our studio.

We're going to master a copy of this song

that's just perfection,

just like you hear on the radio.

Then we're going to press some CDs.

And then...

we'll need to put this one in the Wal-Marts.

We have had tremendous success

with our Southern-produced acts in the Wal-Marts.

I don't know. It's amazing.

But Kyndra here is not going to remain

a Southern-produced act for a long time.

I just want to step in, Mr. Kent.

There's a lot going on in this country right now,

culturally, and-- and-- and-- and--

and I think your daughter

might have really tapped into something.

There's a kind of singing, roaring patriotism

to what she's doing

that I think is actually honest about ourselves--

to me anyway.

It's-- It's a very viable sort--

It's a very-- The song is timely.

Perfect time--

Perfect timing.

...for this song.

The timing is perfect.

Viable song.

It's very viable.

Well, I got to be honest with you folks now

because you look like you're decent folks.

We don't provide the service for free.

We-- We-- We are in the business.

of providing talented folks

with the professional tools

that is necessary to be successful.

Mr. Kent, I know it sounds like something

that is not absolutely essential right now,

but I think it's a worthwhile investment.

Yeah, right, right. Let me talk to you. Sir--

No, please. Call me Clarence.

How much?

We usually go to 900 for a single.

Listen, that's about as far as we can go.

You don't know how much people make around here, do you?

That includes all the free stuff

that we don't do for most people.

What we're trying to present--

All right, hold on a sec.

Mr. Kent,

I will personally...

pay half the cost of production

because I believe in your little girl's talents.

Look, it's coming out of my own pocket.

I'm not even talking about the company, sir.

I'll have to call some people.

[Clarence] Yes.

Yes.

Amen. Amen.

All right. Here we go.

I need to have everybody just squeeze in.

[Clarence] Man, I feel

like we're going to be good at this shit.

* We're the Birmingham Blues Brothers on the road *

* And off the hook

* And my hands are off the wheel *

* My hands are off the wheel *

Better drive this car

because we can't make no money if we're dead.

Ha!

I can drive this car

eating a chow mein sandwich with chopsticks.

You see this? You see this?

You're crazy.

I've traded in almost ten CDs

at this one store I found.

They said they'd have taken more

except for the scratches,

but I didn't think they were so scratched

that someone else might not take them.

How much did you get?

Oh, I took store credit

so you come out better.

Yeah, I know they don't give you shit.

What about that Clarence guy?

You think you guys will stick together?

Yeah, no, he's great. He's hilarious.

I mean, somebody will come in,

and he'll be like

"You wish to be involved in the music industry.

"We produce records.

That is prezactly what we do."

I mean, you know, he does this one thing

that kind of annoyed me with the cell phone.

Oh, what was it that Lorna and I were talking about today?

Remember how, like, when you used to call people,

either they were home or they weren't?

You know, like, you got their machine?

But now everybody has a cell phone,

but when you call people,

it's like they pick up even less, you know?

I don't know.

Yeah. That's weird, too.

It's like it seems like people used to be home more.

Oh, your surprise.

I signed us up for digital cable and digital internet.

I kind of wish you waited for that.

No, no. It's just I took some of our money,

and I put it into helping out that little girl--

you know, the one with the new national anthem?

But we don't really have the money for that right now.

How much did you give?

Not much. I mean, the company already put in

way more than it normally would.

We negotiated it down to almost nothing,

but this man, he still couldn't afford it,

so we had to kind of make him a deal.

How much did you give them?

Don't.

Don't what?

Just don't-- don't--

don't make this about obligation.

Don't even make it about that.

What does that mean?

Look, I'm just trying

to get a hold of something here.

Well, we both are.

Yeah, well, maybe there's more than one thing

to get a hold of.

Uh, look...

In some weird way,

helping that man help out his little girl,

it was like--

it gave me a little a kind of confidence.

Look, I'm all about you trying to settle in here.

I wasn't trying to say that--

No, no, no, no. Listen.

There's a lot of talented people in this country

who never get a chance, you know?

And I feel like if I help them out,

I'm-- I'm making something.

Look, it sounds good and everything.

I mean, just part of making us work was...

I cut up the credit cards--

I know, I know, I know.

I know you don't see it,

but it is, it's about us.

It takes money to make money.

[scoff]

What?

[sigh]

You know, there's already

a black national anthem, though, right?

[Clarence] A new national anthem, man!

Yeah, you see all kinds of ideas, I guess.

She had a really nice voice.

I think if she keeps up with this,

she can have something great when she gets old.

It was the craziest damn song I ever done heard.

But she pulled it off, man. She really pulled it off.

I mean, turtles and camel drives

and everybody drunk in the snow.

I'll tell you, that ADD shit

they've been giving these kids these days

ain't no joke, and I can see that now.

Well, Shank is very pleased with you boys.

You've done great. You have the checks for me?

Yeah, yeah. Right there.

There's a little piece of paper in there

with the sum total up on it.

Fine. We should have your checks by Friday.

Uh, Shank wanted me to ask you--

Why does this check have your name on it?

Just putting my money where my mouth is.

Is there a problem with us doing that?

Personally, I wouldn't make a habit of it,

but anyway, Shank wanted to know

if you boys are ready to go on another trip.

Sure. Where?

Well, we've got ads running

in the paper up in Louisville

but nobody to send up there.

We could go see the studio in Nashville.

Would you at this point in time

be interested in pressing forward?

Would you like to seek your dream out?

I would be interested in doing it,

but I can't do it financially at this time.

Financially you could do it at this time.

You didn't ask me

"How can I make this happen?"

Okay. Well, the thing is you all didn't wait until--

I wanted to be kind

and wait until you were done thoroughly explaining,

and then I was going to ask

what are some of the other options that I could explore.

When you say no to me--

I did not say no.

When people say no to me--

I said I can't do it financially at this time.

Well, that means no to me

because you know what?

You look up, and three years will go by,

and you still won't have your master CD in your hand.

Mm-hmm.

Today is the day

when your opportunity is present.

Today is...

You're shaking your head no, see, again at me.

Don't do that now.

The reason is--

Makes my blood pressure go up.

I understand that.

I want you to come on our roster.

I understand that.

But let me explain something to you.

As a teacher at a private school,

I don't get paid over the summer,

so that's unfortunate.

My finances at this time--

and I hate to have to go into that,

but I have to admit

my finances at this time is unfortunate.

And what I have in my purse at this time

is all I'm going to have

until I find my next job for the summer.

So don't tell me no, it's impossible.

Do me a favor and take a chance on your future.

I want you to be on board with us.

And I would like to.

All right, then do it.

That's how you do this thing in this world.

You make a commitment.

You decide you want to do something.

You go do it. You understand?

That's true.

And take the first step.

Okay?

Okay.

When Jesus walked on the water,

the first thing He did

was He stepped out of the boat. Mm-hmm.

Now, God can't put His hands underneath you.

That's right.

Underneath your feet-- Mm-hmm.

...till you take the first step forward.

That's right.

Do it.

Do that for me.

Okay.

Look at me.

I-- Do that for me.

Okay.

Do that for yourself.

Okay.

All right? Mm-hmm.

God bless you.

And I'm going to make some calls in,

see what the results--

I know what the results are going to be.

You're going to be back here in a little while.

I'm going to be here till 11:00 tonight.

That's what I wanted to ask.

I'll be here. You come back at that time

and you bring me something,

I'm going to take you to dinner.

I saw you're single.

Yes, I am.

There you go.

Okay. Let me see what I can get done.

God bless you.

What is the minimum that I would be in--

How much do you believe in yourself?

I believe in myself 100%.

Bring me $300, you're in.

Okay. Well, at least I have a figure.

That way, I can know what to try and--

Bring me $300, you're in.

300. Okay.

You're a salesman.

Yeah.

Well, what do you sell?

Me and a partner started a product

called Almighty Dirt Buster,

and it's a liquid concentrate cleaner.

We sell it door-to-door

with a group of salespeople

who go out and demonstrate it

at people's homes.

That's basically what I do.

About four years ago,

songs just started coming to me,

and I was just like, you know, in shock myself

because I never wrote no songs.

You know what I mean? Inspired.

Yeah. I mean, one day,

I was watching Oprah Winfrey on television,

and you know, she always wears some kind of pretty colors anyway.

That's the first song I wrote was "Her Colors".

And it's-- something--

It's basically about Oprah Winfrey,

but it could fit anyone.

Right. You know, because any woman--

most women wear colors, you know,

they wear all kinds of beautiful colors.

I've been put on the face of the earth to entertain.

I'm a singer. It's the gift I've been given.

I'm a songwriter. You know,

that's another gift I've been given.

I-- You know, it's going to happen, you know,

one way or another.

I mean, people heard me. They know. They like me.

You know. Right.

Some of my friends call me prolific.

I can't help it. That's--

** [rap on boom box]

* Let go, and get it on *

* We can get it on till the break of dawn *

* I got jones in my bones, for you, for you *

* Let me know what you want to do *

** [continues]

And what's my percentage?

Ah. Now there you go.

Go on, Martin, talk to her.

Well, you know, we are--

we would work on that with you,

but, you know, we ask for, you know,

a financial contribution--

She's interested in percentage of profit.

Tell her her percentage of profit!

Oh, percentage of profit.

Yeah, she wants to know

about how much she's going to make.

On, uh, on publishing rights, 100%.

Okay, and sales?

70%.

I'll make 70?

Yeah.

You just make 30.

Yep.

And I...have--

I-- How-- What kind of assurance do I have

that you're going to actually put this out?

Well, we ask for some insurance from you

in terms of getting you into the recording studio.

Well, what if I gave you my money

and didn't get anything and just--

That's not going to happen.

What is it that you feel about yourself

that you feel like you won't get anything?

I'm not worried about myself.

I'm worried about you.

Why?

Because I've been around the block.

Did you see me on that block?

It's time for your talent to get out there.

Jump in the pool with us and start swimming.

What have you got to lose?

You ain't got nothing to lose!

I have, like 3 or 4 grand to lose.

You look like somebody that don't know what I'm talking about.

No, you sound very self-assured,

but, I mean, most salesmen do.

We're not salesmen. I'm real good at it.

I know you're good.

So do you have confidence in me?

Look me in my eye.

I'm going to have to think this over.

Look me in my eye and talk to me.

Do you believe I can sell you?

Your eyes are identical.

Yeah, we're identical twins.

We're brothers. I got it.

Maybe we're hung up on the money thing here.

I mean, it's--

Yeah, that's a whole lot of money.

I mean, what-- what's--

What's a reasonable amount that you could--

that you would invest in something like that right now?

'Cause we're not concerned with that so much

as we are with--

I might be able to come up with a grand.

A thousand dollars? Yeah, would that...

do it? Absolutely that would do it.

Get us well on our way

to getting into the recording studio.

And would you be prepared to--

Did you bring your checkbook today?

Well, um,

I'm gonna have to...

talk to my banker.

Okay.

Let's go to the bank.

I'll talk to him. All right.

Okay. I'll go with you.

Okay. Where's lunch?

** [electro]

* You wanna be cool

* You wanna be it

* You know you do, just like Cockpit *

* You wanna be cool

* You wanna be it

* You know you do, just like Cockpit *

** [static] ** [theremin]

You want ham hocks? You wanna walk outta that--

Man, I had a headache when I walked outta there. Yeah.

I can't be eating all that kind of stuff.

You seen the size of some of these people here, man?

Yeah, I know. Holy mackerel.

Yeah. Don't they get it?

Yeah, I saw a woman that was about that wide.

She was wider than she was tall.

I wanna ask you something.

She had a T-shirt that said "Daddy's Little Angel" on it.

I wanna ask you something.

When you-- When you look at people like that... Yeah.

...do you imagine

trying to have sex with someone like that? No, no.

Got you. ** [theremin]

I am the wizard.

Listen, you all is good Christian folks,

so you know that there is some less Christian folks,

they don't understand African-American culture, you understand?

Oh, yeah. Some of 'em don't. They really don't.

Now, my boss...

is in the other room on the phone.

Mm-hmm. He like white music.

Oh, he don't know-- And-- But--

But he knows that gospel sells.

'Cause he say a good gospel act

may not make it on television,

but it will get on the radio. It will.

It will get in people's homes. Yes, it will.

And it will get in people's souls.

Glory to your name! Now, listen.

We got to show him something right off the bat.

Otherwise, he'll send you all off

if he don't see that the deal is being closed.

You understand? Uh-huh.

I'm serious.

You know the government made him hire me,

and he still won't let me go out on my own?

Oh, Mr. Underpoint! We are doing just fantastic here!

We are just about to finish, sir!

[door opens]

Hey, man.

I hope you like cans.

That's all they had.

Wanna shotgun one just to be doing it?

[chuckles] No. Oh.

[exhales] Whew.

That was good work today, man.

Why don't you call in the numbers tonight?

[dialing phone]

Hey, this is Martin Anderpont calling in the numbers from Louisville.

Do you guys have any idea how much trouble you cost me today?

I'm sorry?

One of your Birmingham people

made a check all the way out to Great World of Sound.

I told all of you,

it's GWS.

That's what they have at the bank.

I had a hell of a time making a deposit.

Did you take any checks today for Great World of Sound?

Uh, no, sir.

Uh...

they're all made out to...

GWS, just like you asked.

Okay. All right. Good.

Tomorrow we're starting a new policy.

You take all the checks, go right to the bank.

Okay.

There's less chance of a check getting lost,

like two other guys did already this week. Sure.

I'll talk to you tomorrow, Anderpont.

All right. Thanks.

[beeps]

You sure you got the right address?

It should be in this block.

What the hell?

For the life of me,

I can't see what the big deal about Nashville is.

Well, Nashville's got history.

This place look like it's history.

Man, we shouldn't send people here. This looks bad.

Yeah, I'm sure the rent is cheap.

Look at that, man. They got a elephant over there.

Hey! Come on in the house!

How are you? I'm Frank.

Frank, I'm Clarence. This here is Martin.

Oh, wow. You must be the new sales guys from Charlotte.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You're the ones that brought us

this new national anthem, huh?

Right. That's us.

[chuckles] God bless you.

America, too, I suppose.

Come on back. Let's take a look around.

That was Kyndra Kent.

"Battle Hymn of Wonder/Purpose."

Take eight. This is my brother Fred.

You probably talked to him on the phone.

How you doing? I'm Clarence.

Clarence and Martin. Nice to meet you.

They're from Great World of Sound.

From? Isn't this part of Great World of Sound?

Mr. Kent! How you doing? It's good to see you, sir!

Can I see you outside?

[door opens]

Okay, you ready again, Kyndra? [door closes]

* In the wars, when the-- [feedback, tape rewinds]

Okay, let's go again.

Okay.

** [piano]

[tape rewinds] So, is it going well?

Um...

as well as the subject matter

would lend itself to, I suppose.

** [Kyndra singing]

* Weren't nobody in the wars *

She's looking pretty tired.

[Mr. Kent shouting]

[singing, shouting overlapping]

I told you that my daughter was gonna sing the song!

[voices overlapping]

How many times you had her run through it?

This one will be number nine.

Nine. [door opens]

[door closes] We need to get the hell out of here right now.

Why? Right now.

[tape rewinding]

What'd he say?

It don't matter. It wasn't good.

Man, I think we just got to shake that shit off.

Look, from now on,

I think if their demo sound good enough, man,

we just cut 'em some kind of special deal

where they ain't gotta go nowhere.

I don't know, man. We're the producers, right?

I mean, why aren't we in there supervising?

I don't know who those guys are.

It don't matter who they are.

You ain't cutting the checks, are you?

I paid for part of that one.

Look, man, we just gotta stay positive, okay?

Keep on going out here making sales.

We might find somebody else who's really amazing.

[chattering]

Hey.

What are you doing? I found this yesterday.

We were out rummaging for materials.

I thought I might find a use for it.

And Lorna found some old seats from a stadium.

Want some bleachers, Marty?

It's Martin.

I'll, uh, pick you up tomorrow?

Okay. Bye.

Wish I could play an instrument.

If we have kids, I want them to play music.

Yeah. I'll manage their careers,

and you can do their album covers.

[chuckles]

Now that you're a record producer,

maybe I should learn how to play something.

And then you could produce me.

And then you could record the whole family.

Come on. Give me a break, will you?

What?

Hey.

Hey.

I was just kidding.

[chatter on TV]

I'm sorry, okay?

I just-- I don't know about this fucking job.

No, I'm sorry.

It's just you go back and forth

with this stuff all the time.

What am I supposed to say?

I'm tired, too.

I like this job.

I like--

I like the idea of this job,

but the idea of it is not the same as doing it.

It's just a job.

Sometimes you just have to sit down

and open another beer

and paint another fuckin' duck, you know what I mean?

Huh?

Oh, fuck it.

I'm paying all the rent.

I've got to do your fucking job for you, too?

I'm sorry I was being stupid.

It's okay. We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Martin, get off me, honey. You're hot.

Okay, we'll take up the rest of that tomorrow.

But right now, any questions

on things happening out in the field there?

Most of these people I've been seeing are fucking terrible.

I haven't seen one group really worth signing in weeks.

All right, guys. Guys, all right?

Look, these people, they really wanna show the world their art.

Your job-- Just be a conduit to them.

All right? Don't judge it.

We need to let these people know

that we think their music is really special.

Even if you don't think it's special?

Yes.

[Shank] Okay, we need to talk cash here.

We could be doing a better job there.

I can get session musicians

to devote more time

if I offer them cash.

which means better recordings,

which means a better shot at the big time.

I don't see how you can ask for it.

And it's a big turn-off when I mention it.

I lose the sale.

Walter, I can help you with that.

We'll talk afterwards, okay?

Guys, we've gotta be going for much more cash investment across the board.

We're way behind on that. Why, in case they cancel the check?

[whispers] Oh, shit. This is crap.

I can't keep on ripping these people off.

I don't know if you've been ripped off before, but it doesn't feel good.

[chuckles] Son, I've about had it with your attitude.

I've never ripped off anybody in the 20 years I've been in this business.

Have you? No. Hell no.

If you feel you're being dishonest-- No, you're being dishonest.

You're the one-- No, I beg your pardon.

You are. Nobody else in this room is.

It's you.

You think I've had money all my life?

I stand up here

in front of you young fellas

as an example,

to show you that if you work hard like me,

you can make it, too.

And all I ever get out of this one

is little, whiny, girl noises.

[Men laughing] It's pathetic.

That's great.

Son, you're the worst producer we have here.

You know that? And all you do is complain.

That's cool.

Yeah, get your stuff. There you go.

Yeah, bye-bye, Sally.

[laughter]

[door slams] Look at the bright side.

Our production just went up 15%,

so congratulations, fellas.

Hey, I've been looking for you.

I'm sorry you guys had to see that.

Whoa. What's this?

That's a little bonus.

You two are our best new salesmen.

We just-- Mr. Shank wanted to let you know that you're appreciated.

This says Indianapolis.

Yeah, we got ads running in the paper up there.

Look, a lot of the guys, they haven't worked out as well as you,

so, you know, we're probably gonna be rehiring.

Shank's mother's sick.

And you guys are doing so well,

we figured we'd send you back up there,

test the waters again.

Test the waters?

Shank said you drew people from there all the time

when you was out of Chicago.

Yeah, but that was a while ago, though.

I mean, it's a good town.

It's worth another taste, all right?

Especially with our best two new faces, huh?

And, you know, Shank thought you might want the money.

We'll go. [chuckles]

All right.

Now, remember,

try for more cash this time, okay?

No more screw-ups on the checks.

Yeah, that was-- That was our mistake.

But what was the big deal about that?

Look, the account is in Shank's name.

His initials, GWS--

He had to take your check,

open up a whole new account.

But to your credit, it was a big check,

so, you know, it was worth it.

Hey, I meant to ask you,

How's that distribution going

on the Kyndra Kent song?

The who?

That national anthem?

Oh, yeah, I--

You know, the way I heard it,

she just kinda screwed up up there.

You know, wasted a lot of time in the studio.

All the money kinda got sucked up into that.

We couldn't press CDs, couldn't do mailings.

I mean, you know, that happens.

You know, you might wanna call her again, though.

Maybe you guys could work out

something new with her, right?

Okay?

Look, it's a great thing you guys are doing.

You're doing fantastically. We're so pleased.

I mean, if everybody was doing as good as you,

well, maybe we'd have the ball rolling by now.

Okay, Mr. Anderpont.

And that'll be one-way to Indianapolis.

No, it's a roundtrip.

Um, no, sir. It says here one-way.

Uh, yeah. Um...

That's that new accounting stuff.

The agency said that if they set up the roundtrips like this,

that it will save the company and us money.

Okay?

Will you excuse us for a second?

Are you fucking kidding me? Hey, listen, man.

We just deposit the money like before,

then they call the agency,

they release the tickets, okay?

It's just a little jive-ass incentive program.

They're not gonna leave us stranded out there.

I don't know. I'm starting to get real sketched out.

I was talking to that Walter dude

about how many CDs that Shank actually prints up--

Hey, Walter is a fuckin' retard, man.

They probably would leave his dumb ass out there.

They are not gonna fuck us. You know why?

Layton's scared of my ass.

Layton's scared my ass is gonna go nut,

come in there and kill him.

I don't know.

Look, man. I gotta make some money.

I gotta go. Now, you heard him.

I know this is a little weird.

But we're their best team.

We're their A-team.

If we don't go, they don't get nothing.

If we don't make our quota,

they still gotta fly us back here.

We can really make it big here, man.

Hi. Hi.

We should have a suite reserved

for Martin Anderpont.

Sir, are you with some sort of music company?

Yes. Yes, well, we can't help you here.

And you might wanna tell your friends.

They showed up some time ago.

I'm sorry, I don't-- Sir, please leave.

This hotel doesn't want this sort of thing here.

How you doing, fellas? Clarence from Great World of Sound.

You should be nice.

Thank you all for coming. There's been confusion.

Still no answer?

No, I don't know where them fools are.

I know they ain't out distributing records.

No, see, there ain't enough room, man.

We gonna have to move one of these beds outta here.

* Without you

* I'd live in my car *

* I'd give up cigars *

* Whatever, whatever

* Whatever it takes

We're getting ready to invest a lot of money in you to make an album.

What can you come up with today

to ensure that you're serious

about your finance--

future here with GWS?

You want us to give you money?

Oh, absolutely.

That's what the new talent does

just to show us how serious you are

about your recording future.

I don't think that's how it works, man.

I thought this was a real situation.

Your world right now is this big. Right.

It's Indianapolis. Mm-hmm.

I'm trying to make your world so wide

you can't put your arms around it.

We don't think that it'll be... Wait. Hold up.

to our advantage... I hear where you're going.

...to do any business with you guys.

That's the whole thing.

Son, you don't believe in me.

Don't believe in me. Believe in this man.

You got problems with a black man

telling you about your future?

Fine. Talk to this white man.

[laughter] Go on talk to him.

Tell 'em, Martin.

It's just a 30%--

We pay 70% of the recording.

But we already have our own studio. Yeah.

Well...that's great, too.

I mean, we're actually talking--

We got a whole branch of our business that does--

That's not what I do. I make records.

You guys keep all your publishing.

Go on. See ya.

Leave. We gonna be here.

You think it over and talk it over. Nice to meet you, man.

Man, what is it with these people here today?

Don't nobody want to talk with us.

This is where Shank started. They probably already know.

Know what?

Know what?

I guess there's already a fuckin' black national anthem.

That ain't my department.

My department is selling people.

And if we don't make some sales,

we are fuckin' fucked.

* That means no

* Where I come from

* I am cold

* Out waiting for the day to come *

* I chew my lips

* Oh, and I scratch my nose *

* Feels so good to be

* A rose

* Oh, don't *

* Don't you lift me up *

* Ooh, like I'm that shy *

* No, no, no, no, no

* Just give it up

[chuckles]

* There are bats

* All dissolving

* In a row

* Into the wishy-washy dark

* That cannot let go

* And I cannot let go

* And so I thank the Lord

* Ooh, and I thank his sword *

* Though it be mincing up

* The mornings slightly bored

* Oh, morning

* Without warning

* Like a hole

* And I watch you go

* That's why I love this town *

* Just look around

* To see me serenaded hourly *

* And celebrated sourly

* And dedicated dourly

* Waltzing with the open sea

* Clam, crab, cockle, cowrie

* Oh, just look at me

So how'd it sound up there?

Like I was in the front row.

Come over and have a seat.

You know, Martin and I,

we've been doing this here for awhile, auditioning people.

But you gotta be honest with me about something now.

What is it that you do,

that you ain't been snatched up before?

[chuckles]

I don't know. I just--

Um, I've been working, so--

Yeah, I just picked up a little shift at a bar.

Oh, well, then that answers everything.

You're a bartender.

Bartenders make a lot of money.

You been making so much money,

you ain't even worried about your singing career

being discovered, right?

No, actually, it's not a very good bar.

I don't even have a good shift.

I'm-- It's like an old person's bar.

[chuckling]

No, I mean, I just do it to pay the bills,

and I cut hair sometimes.

You got a dream, don't you?

You wanna become famous, don't you?

That's what we do. We are record producers.

And I'm just so excited.

It ain't gonna cost but a little bit of money.

We need an assurance on our part

that the talent is not gonna get cold feet

in the middle of the production

and quit on us.

But I know, though, with a gift

of a voice like yours,

that you would never get cold feet on us.

I don't-- I just don't have a lot of money, so--

You know, I understand. I understand that you say that.

Well, how much do you have?

Listen, do you wanna be a bartender

for the rest of your life?

Open up a whole new chapter... You know what?

...in your life. Gloria? Gloria?

If this isn't something

that you're really comfortable with,

we don't wanna pressure you into anything.

No, we would never-- Hold on a second.

[overlapping dialogue]

She just said

she doesn't have any money, okay?

So drop it.

You're very talented.

And I just wanna thank you for coming today.

And someone as talented as you

is gonna have many opportunities.

And when the time is right--

Thank you. Thank you.

Um, listen,

I don't know how long you guys are in town for,

but if you want a place to hang out or whatever,

it's not great, but the bar I work at, it's called the Mayfair.

So, I mean,

you're totally invited or whatever.

Or you could just hang out. Thank you. Actually our, uh,

expense accounts don't cover alcohol.

Okay.

Okay, thank you. Bye.

Thank you. Bye.

Hey, man, what kind of shit was that?

I coulda had that girl sold in less than two minutes.

She was actually talented.

Well, isn't that the fuckin' point, man?

Just sign somebody else.

Oh, what, like somebody that's got no talent?

Damn it! I don't wanna sign any of 'em anymore!

I just wanna go home and forget about this fucking job.

Look, just leave me alone about it, all right?

I looked at that girl, and I couldn't do it.

Layton.

Man, where you been?

I been calling you all day.

Man, listen. We need our tickets out of here,

and we need 'em now.

No, no, no. There's not gonna be any sales out here.

Man, I don't know what you done to these folks here,

but this is not working.

Listen, man, we were not even allowed

into the first hotel.

All right, how we supposed to--

No, the banks are already closed here, man.

No, then you tell the travel agency you need them now!

How we supposed to do that, man?

You ain't even paid us for last week yet.

Man, fuck you. [beeps]

All right, he's saying we gotta deposit

the money in the bank,

or wire him cash.

The travel agency got the tickets,

but he gotta put up 50% up front before they'll release them.

What? How does that even work?

Man, what do you think is the grand number of times

I flew on an airplane before I met you?

I don't know how this shit works.

Did you tell him we don't have any money?

That all my money is tied up in this hotel

and taxis and shit?

I told you, man.

I told you. I told you at the airport.

I told you that one-way ticket was bad news.

You were like, "No, we gonna make it big.

"We gonna make it big there.

We gonna make so much money."

I mean, I don't have a fucking dime.

I don't even know where the hell I am.

Look, man. You're giving me a state of affairs.

You're not giving me solutions.

Okay, well, I don't have any solutions.

I'm out of ideas. Sorry. Officially out of ideas now.

What about that girl Gloria? Fuck that.

Then what do you intend to do, sleep on the streets?

I have done that as much as I intend to do in this life.

You know, I-- I'm getting tired of this shit with you.

How many fuckin' jobs you got? You got just one, huh?

How many kids you got? I got six kids, man.

It wouldn't be fair to take that girl's money.

Oh...

"It wouldn't be fair."

Man, fuck fair. You know what,

if you was half as smart as you think you are,

they'd keep your motherfuckin' ass in a zoo.

I lived on the streets of Houston

for three goddamn years, baby.

Fairness runs real thin

real quick out there on the street.

Fuck fair! There ain't no fair!

There ain't no deserve! There is earn!

And there is take, motherfucker!

These people we see, they wanna change their life because of their talent.

You think this motherfuckin' country runs on talent?

Man, you wanna be fair to someone, man,

you be fair to me!

You be fair-- You wanna pal around with me

like we friends and shit.

Well, then be fair to me, man!

Be fair to the people that you is around.

Fuck this shit, man.

I'm gonna find me a goddamn way home.

I'm gonna go down to that airport,

and I will convince that bitch

sitting behind the counter

that she sound like Dionne motherfuckin' Warwick

if it's gonna get me a ticket home.

That's what I'm gonna do.

You know how I know you ain't my friend?

Huh?

Yeah, that's right.

You know how I know.

** [rap on speaker]

[line ringing]

[beep]

Hi, you've reached Pam.

I'm going to be out of town this weekend

at the craft show.

But I will be checking my messages.

So leave a message after the beep,

and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Thanks.

[beep]

[coins clatter]

** [country on speaker]

Hey, there. How are you today? Hi.

Good. How are you? Great.

What can I get for you?

Uh, I'll have one of those.

Is there a girl named Gloria that works here?

Yeah.

Gloria!

Someone's here for you.

Hi.

Hey.

So why don't you think you'd have a better shot in Chicago?

I didn't say I wouldn't. I just said that--

You know, I thought about moving to Chicago

but didn't because...

I don't always think about making it, you know.

I mean, I'm really focused on my music right now.

I can't worry about not being famous.

That's good.

[chuckles]

Look at you, giving me all these ideas.

I wish I had you as my manager.

Hey, you guys do that, too, right?

You don't want me as a manager.

My biggest fan, and not a kind word for himself.

Can't have that.

What should we do about you?

Nothing.

I'm self-deprecating.

All you got to do is watch.

I guess I should have asked if you had a girlfriend.

Oh, I'm so sick of my life right now.

Listen, just-- I'm sorry about all that.

I will work with you guys if you'll still have me.

Uh, you know, I can find the money for you somehow

if you-- if you think it's worth it.

All right.

This is all it would let me take out for now,

but I can get you the rest next week.

Okay.

Well, thank you.

See you later. Bye.

I think I'm going to be sick.

You fucked that girl, huh?

Always good to keep that ace in the hole, man.

[Announcer over P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen,

it is important that you keep a close watch

on your baggage and carry-on items.

Don't leave items unattended at any time.

Do not accept articles from unknown persons--

** [rhythm section]

[Clarence] Hey, would you turn that music off, please?

[music stops]

Martin!

Martin, what are you doing?

I didn't even know you were home.

You okay?

There's some big guy at the door

that says he wants to see you.

Look, man, I don't think I'm going to be going on any more trips.

Hey, I kind of got that feeling.

I'm out, too, man.

I just came by because, um,

I think everybody's out.

One of the other teams

wired Shank some money last night,

and the check-cashing place

kind of messed up the wire,

so they put some digits in the wrong place.

Shank was supposed to get 5,000,

and he wound up with 50 grand.

I don't know if it's true or if it's not true,

but that office is empty down there.

Everybody there split

before somebody come looking for their money.

They all would have got away clean

except I went down there

to do the right thing and quit in person,

so Shank, he give me this

just to look the other way.

He gave me everything he owed me, man,

right there on the spot.

He lost another chunk.

See, I made him give me twice as much

so that you-- you'd get your share.

He didn't want to do it.

I made him.

I don't have that cell phone no more, man.

Your friend seems nice.

I don't really want to talk about it.

Cool.

That's great.

You haven't called me in two days.

You're sleeping in the garage,

and some weird random guy

is coming to my house early in the morning,

and you don't want to talk about it.

That's great. Thank you, Martin.

Now, if I keep thinking

that we can do this, you know,

that it'll be fun.

The way you're being is not.

It's beginning to bother me.

Well, then, how'd you ever end up

with someone so boring?

The only thing that I'm bored with

is the way that you look at yourself.

I don't know.

I just want you to be happy.

You're not working today?

I started coffee, and there's bagels in the toaster for us.

If you're not working today,

you want to help me finish painting these?

Yeah.

Okay. I'll get the coffee.

The unfinished ones are over there.

* In the wars

* When the wars

* Were still going, going strong *

* Weren't nobody in the wars *

* That was living very long *

* Asked my teacher why folks die *

* She said some folks die for songs *

* That's how they know they belong *

** [piano]

[Male singer] * In the wars *

* When the wars *

* Were still going, going strong *

* Weren't nobody in the wars *

* Who was living very long *

* Asked my teacher why folks die *

* She said some folks, they die for songs *

* It's how they know they belong *

* Songs for the veterans *

* In the veteran-like caravans *

* Who know turtles are like terrapins *

* So let's hope that it shows *

* Or at least hope that it snows *

* We all like it when it snows *

* Don't mess with me, don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* You think I'm kiddin' *

* I'm not kiddin' *

* Got my finger on the trigger *

* So get your ass behind the singer *

* I'm like Texas, I'm like Texas *

* I'm like Texas, only bigger *

* In the parks, when the parks *

* Were still places we was loved *

* There weren't nobody on the lawns *

* Who were stayin' there past dark *

* Asked my mama where folks was *

* She said she guessed they all gone home *

* That they'd all be back 'fore long *

* This song is for the catamarans *

* Y'all with super-bad Trans-Ams *

* For what you done in your churches *

* And for what you done in bars *

* Just helps you stand up when it's hard *

* 'Cause that's all that anthems are *

* Don't mess with me, don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* There's no hittin', there's no spittin' *

* I'm not kiddin', there's no spittin' *

* Got my finger on the banner *

* On the star-spangled banner *

* Just like Texas, you can't mess us *

* God protects us here forever *

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

* She said she guessed they all gone home *

* But they'd be back before too long *

* She said she guessed they all gone home *

* But they'd be back before too long *

* This song is for your catamarans *

* And y'all with your super-bad Trans-Ams *

* For what you done in churches *

* For what you done in bars *

* It just helps you stand up when it's hard *

* It just helps you stand up when it's hard *

* 'Cause that's all that anthems are *

* That's all anthems are *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* There's no hittin', there's no spittin' *

* I'm not kiddin', there's no... *