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Well, uh, I've worked
in several cities in radio.

So, yes, I feel
I know music.
Oh, okay.

Uh...
All right.

...580, uh,

that was in Knoxville.

Uh, it was 1020
in Wilmington.
Uh-huh.

Delaware?
No, North Carolina.
Wilmington, North Carolina.

Yeah, yeah.
They got 'em everywhere.

I think it's an old
Indian word

for "the sticks,"
you know? Yeah.
Maybe.

I'm wrong about that--
Oh, pardon me.

Native American word
for "the sticks."

It's just
outside Baton Rouge.

Yeah. Travelin' man,
travelin' man, huh?

Well, good and bad,
travelin', you know?

Constant motion's just
the new laziness.

Is that you, Martin?
The new lazy?

Like I said,
I just moved for the work.

Oh, did you say that?

No, I was just...

listing jobs
in different cities.
Uh-huh.

Right.
Uh...

Anyway, I moved
for the work.

I don't know
how that's lazy.
Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah.
Me neither.

Me neither.
But we'll find out.

All right?
Well...

so what'd you do
at these radio stations?

On-air?

I don't have what
is widely considered

to be an on-air
personality.

I just...
Oh, yeah.

did some
engineering mostly.

You think that kind
of experience

is gonna be an asset
here at this job?

No, I'm just trying
to figure out what would be

an advantage to the--
you guys and the work you do.

Uh-huh.
I...just...

answered an ad I saw.

All right, I like that.

I like that.

You're not
a nervous guy, right?

Not afraid
to answer questions,

even from the guy
behind the desk, right?

All right, truthfully,
some of us here, we said,

"You know, Shank,
we might wanna wait,
you know?

"We might wanna get
the core going--
the core--

"before we give
the wrong impression,
you know,

alienate
some good people."

But he said, "No, we hit
the ground running.

"And anybody who can't
rally with that,

well, we didn't want 'em
in the fist place, right?"

And Shank's the boss.

Shank is the man.
He is.

Well, I'll tell you what.

I am not gonna say yes.
All right?

But you come
to our seminar,

you meet Shank,
we see what he thinks,

and, uh,
we'll go from there.

How's that sound?

Sounds like a start.

All right. Hey, sorry
about our mess in here.

We're setting up our office
from Chicago down to here.
Oh, it's--

So, you know,
if something breaks,

we gotta get
a purchase order
from Chicago.

They gotta cut a check
from Chicago. You know,
on and on and on.

It's just like,
"Hello, Chicago. Hello."

I know. I'm in the middle
of moving now myself.
All right. Yeah.

Hey, I'll see you
Saturday, 9 A.M.

All right?
But one thing, Martin.

It's really important.

Otherwise,
it's a waste of time.

You good with people?

Yeah.
Excellent.

All right.
We'll see you later.

All right. Bye-bye.

[door opens]

Hey.

Nice shades, dude.
Yeah.

Oh, my God. There's,
like, three times as
many as when I left.

I just have 13 more,
and then I'm done.
Mm-hmm.

How did it go
this afternoon?

Uh, the interview
went fairly well.

Yeah?
So it could turn
into something.

You are really knocking
these ducks out.

I know.

We were sent out on
this data entry job.

Yeah, same as me.
Punching numbers
on the keypad.

Yeah.
You know what
they had me doing?

They sit me down
at this chipboard table

with, like,
these six old ladies.

I'm, like, folding
these little pieces
of fabric in half...

You are shitting me.
...and stapling them
onto a little card.

And then they canned me
because I was only doing,
like, 1,600 a day,

instead of 3,000
or some shit like that.

It was ridiculous.
No more temp work.
No more.

I'm with you, man.

[all chattering]

The name's Clarence.

Martin.
Good to meet you.

No, thanks.
I'm gonna get some water.

You know how you
do this here, right?

You say, "Hey, uh,
I'll make the coffee."

And then you come over here,
and you kind of stand,

and you wait
for that first cup.

That one's strong, see.

And that one be good.

[muttering]

I'll be damned if this ain't
the bottom of the batch.

We're about to head
on in there,

so you fellas get your coffee
fixed up anyway you want,

and you join us,
all right?

Damn, you's a white fella.

Just fuckin'
with you, man.

I knew you was white
all along.

[chuckling]
Come on, man.
Let's go.

When I started out
in this industry 27 years ago,

I worked with a small company
that was influential

in developing
the world music scene

back in the late '70s.

When I broke out
on my own,

I was fortunate enough

to work with a young
pop star, Stephanie,

whose song "Body Glow"

went to number three
on the charts in '87.

* Body glow

* What I feel beside me

[all chuckling]

I also spent time
on the charts

with the Australian group
The Lowtowners...

Lowtowners.
...and the rap
group CRAZO.

Get outta here.

Yeah. Absolutely.
Yeah. Now...

One-shots? Maybe.

But they all had
their moment.

And you don't hear them
complaining

as they're whipping around
in their Miatas today.

With the smart ones,
the money is still there.

But more important than that,

I'm still here.
[Clarence]
Mm-hmm.

** [piano]

Yeah, I love that riff.

I can hear two guitars
coming in right there.

It's terrific.

Hello and welcome.

Over the next 45 minutes,

I'm gonna show you
the ins and outs

of an exciting career
in the music business.

Come on. Together we'll
discover how it works.

** [drum fill]

** [rock]

Do you know how
most people get rich?

When it comes
to innovation,

do you really think
it's the guy

that comes up with
this amazing thing

like those Segway scooters,

or the space shuttle,

or, you know,
something like that?

I mean, do you?

Well, it's not.

No, those guys are few
and far between.

Most of them end up dead

while someone else
gets rich on their idea.

Most people that make it
in this country today

just do it on volume.

They come with a--
a simple idea,

but yet something
everyone can use,

like a bolt,

or a slightly different bolt,

or a bowl that holds
just a little more cereal.

A slight change.
Small innovation.

Uh, son--
What's your name, son?

Henry.
Henry. Henry.

What's your
favorite song, Henry?

Uh...yeah.

I don't know.
I don't really have
a favorite song.

I can't think of a one.

Well, it's really not
gonna help take me where
I wanna go

with this...

but let me ask
Layton here.

Layton, what's
your favorite song--

all-time favorite song?

Well, you know
you already know, Shank.

Always gonna be
"Dock of the Bay."
[Man] Good one.

Mm-hmm.
All right.

Layton and I go way back.

So this was a bit
of a set-up here,
okay?

But here's our point.

That's a great song.

Everybody's heard that song.

Now, if you could get paid
for every time a song plays,

would you like to own
the rights to that song?

Or to a little old song
like "Happy Birthday"?

Huh? You get it.
You get it.

All right. Yeah.
See what I mean?

Now, we've interviewed,
what,

nearly 80 men
for these positions.
Mm-hmm.

And you guys
can all count.

There's not 80 men
in this room. Okay?

With us, you will scout
and discover new musicians,

and help them
to record their music.

By helping
these young artists,

you'll also be learning
to help yourselves.

You're here today

because we felt you have
the qualifications

to become producers
with our company.

After we record
these new artists
in our studios,

we take these
now polished recordings

and we send them out
to radio stations,

along with A&R reps
at the majors.

How many sales equal gold?

Can anyone answer
that question?

Half a million.
500,000?

I just said that.

I didn't hear you.

[Layton]
All right, guys.

Let's turn to
page three, please.

[chuckling]
He said it soft.

All right,
here's the big one.

All right?

How much can we make?
All right?

What would you guys say

if I said that you listen
to me on this job,

you can sock away
upwards of a grand
a month extra?

That's after rent,

bills, and taking
the Mrs. out

every Friday night.

Mm-hmm.
All right. Now, listen.

Up in Chicago,

we had salespeople

making that
every three weeks.

But that was Chicago.

This is Charlotte,
my friend.

[both chuckling]

That's exactly why
we decided

to set up shop here,
okay?

People here,
they aren't afraid
to cowboy up.

They hear something
that sounds good to them,
all right?

All right, here's
the last thing we're
gonna do before we break.

[dial tone]

[Female voice]
Thank you for choosing

Metropolitan
Banking Solutions.

Please enter your
account information.

This is my personal
account number.

6-5-11-18.
[all laughing]

[Female voice]
As of May 7th,

your balance is...

$13,876

and 33 cents.

Think those numbers
will get you through lunch?

I think it's pretty awesome

they signed Stephanie.

I pretty much had
the biggest crush on her

in sixth grade.

Oh, Jesus.
Dude, Stephanie sucks.

[chuckling]

It says here
that they press

about a thousand CDs
for every album.

I mean, that's
an okay amount, right?

It's probably enough.
Shank obviously knows
what he's doing.

You ever think this is

all there was, though,

to being a producer?

Yeah, man, some
of these people,

I'm worried
they're retarded.

I'm like, "Hey,

"can't you figure out
nothing for yourself?

Put your damn hand down."

But, actually,
I'm liking a lot
of the things

that they're saying.

Well, there was
a couple times I said,

"Now, how can that be right?"

But-- But then they
will show you, see,
how they--

they working with a--
a whole new idea.

And-- And, like,
they innovated that idea

and come up with their deal.

Shit, you need a job,
you need a job, right?

You gotta
do something, right?

You damn skippy.

But I think I can
even dig this, though,

'cause if you get
the right people,

they blow up,
we even get big.

I ain't talking myself
outta nothing.
Yeah.

I mean, I have known a lot
of really talented people

who've never gotten a chance.

You talking about when you
coming from radio or--

You make music, too?
No, no.

I used to play
a guitar a little,

but that's when I was dating
a girl who was in a band.

I wrote, but that was when
I dated a girl who was
a writer.

I even did Pilates,

but that was when
I was dating this girl

who was a modern dancer,
so...

Yeah, I had this girl once
who liked to do anal.

Yeah?

What's the lady
you with now do?

Um, she does
just about everything.

Really?
No, not like that.

She draws, she paints,

she carves stuff
out of wood,

makes T-shirts.

You have
a real artist.

Well, you do like
with the others,

and do everything
she do,

you not gonna have
much time to do this.

No, I got out of
that habit pretty much.

Mostly, I'm just,
like, her assistant.

She calls me
her idea man.

And what kind of ideas
you give her?

Don't worry, man.
I ain't gonna steal 'em.

I was thinking of trying
to convince Guinness

to market their beer
to black people.

I thought you could use,
like, the imagery of, like,

strong black fellas,

and, like, beautiful
dark women.

Not like Beyoncé,

but, like, dark women.

Showing them, like,
drinking at the bar.

Maybe mix that in
with footage of, like,

black dudes at the
boxing gym working out.

You could really push it
to that market.

Man, you know what?

You the crazy kind
of white fella that I like.

We gonna get along
just fine.

Okay, fellas,
let's get started here.

Uh, I'm gonna need
one of you

to help with what
we wanna do here.

So, suggestions,
Layton, who you wanna--

[Layton]
Uh, yeah,

radio prodigy will work.

Martin.

Okay, Martin.
Let's go.

Get 'em, Martin.

All right.

Okay. Well, sit down
and, uh--

Oh.

Should I just--
Yeah.

No, you can sit.
Yeah, sit down.

Okay, well, sit down.

And, uh, would you like
a coffee,

a bottled water,
or anything like that?

No, thanks.
I just ate lunch.

Okay.
[Men laughing]

Uh, you know what?

I'd love to sit here
and talk to you all day,

um, but it's really
our policy

that we hear you perform
in person first--

[Shank]
Okay, hold it just a sec.

Always talk policies.

You only want them
to sing one song.

Otherwise you're gonna have
people singing at you all day.

Okay?

So pretend Martin sang,
and go.

Wow.
Excellent, Martin.

You have a great,
strong voice.
Thank you.

I-- Some of your
background music,

I'd, you know--

Honestly, it was
a little canned,

but that's something
that we can help you with.

I'm sorry about that.

I had, um, just
kind of taped

all that stuff
while I was at work,

and I probably should
have just waited?

So you work with
other musicians, then?

That's-- That's good.

No, I work in sales.

[Men chuckling]

Okay. All right.

Or say, uh,

"All I had was my church's
recording equipment,

and it didn't really have
the instruments I needed."

I worked in a church--
What do you envision
your music sounding like?

What?

What do you envision
your music sounding like?

Um, I was thinking,
like,

the second part
of it

would be, like,
really grand sounding

and have, um...
[sighs]

...piano, and,
like, violins--

Violins. Great.
That's great.

You know, we have a studio
in Nashville, Tennessee,

where we hire musicians
for just such things.

So that's-- that's great.
That sounds really great.

There's a lot that goes
into making a CD.

I mean, you have
to pay the mixer--

the mixer's time,

you gotta pay musicians,

you gotta press CDs,

you gotta pay people
to mail them out.

As you can understand,
it's a considerable expense.

We really do not sign people

that we don't think
have a really good shot
of being heard.

But they have to have
some financial responsibility.

Wait. Why should I have
to pay anything?

Well, it's 'cause we're not
a big distributor.

We're the artist's ally.

You know, we don't--

We're not taking
your rights or your song

and running off,
taking the profit
that you deserve.

But the average cost
of a CD now

is about $10,000

to do it in the studio.
And I pay
how much of that?

No, that's our cost.
That's ours.

You pay 30%,

which works out
to $3,000.

I don't know.
That seems like a lot
of money to ask somebody--

And hold, hold.

Way to pick it up there,
fellas.

Let me just jump
in here, though.
Okay.

All right. Here's where
we start massaging them
with metaphors,

like we talked about
this morning.

Simple correlations
to how

they're spending money
in their lives now.

Ask them if they
smoke cigarettes.

Tell them to think of it
as a way to quit smoking.

Mm-hmm. And this is also
an excellent point, guys.

If they're having trouble
with the money,

see if there's someone
they can borrow it from.

And we will,

under certain
circumstances,

offer to drop
the percentage

on recording
a full album...
Mm-hmm.

...or to allow them
to record

a percentage
of an album.

We really want to work
with them here.

Okay?

Uh, thanks--
thanks a lot, Martin.

You did a great job.
Thanks, Martin.

[applause]
Woo-hoo!

Now, keep one thing in mind
that I've always preached
to you guys.

It's all about the song.

Mm-hmm.
The song.

You're gonna have
these people singing
to you.

You wanna listen.
It's so important.

Now, these are artists, guys.
A lot of these songs...

[crowd chattering]

Cheers!

[groans]

[door opens]

Hey.

Hi.

Ow!
[chuckling]

Hey.

I have
a hot thing of wax.

What, are you drunk?
[chuckling]

Huh? Hmm?

Stayed and drank
with these people.

Hmm?
Just one drink.

You were out with
the music people?
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Just waited
till I drove fine,

and then I drove fine.

That's a good sign.
Uh-huh.

[chuckling]

[laughing]

What is this?
[laughing]

What is this?

In the--
In the music industry,

it's not the quality
of the belt,

it's the emotion
of the belt.
Whatever.

They said a lot
of things to me.

What are you gonna
be doing exactly?

Auditioning people
and listening to their music.

I'll be the guy--

one of the guys--

deciding who they take
a chance on.

You know,
who gets their shot,

gets to record.
Do they really think

there's enough talented
people in Charlotte

to go ahead and open up
an office down here?
Oh, hell, no.

They said I'll be
on the road at least
once a week soon.

Yeah, I guess I'll be
traveling a lot, too,

now that Lorna wants
to do all those shows.

** [acoustic guitar
on stereo]

It'll be good, though,
right?

We'll both be doing
what we wanna do.

I think it seems
pretty cool.

I mean, it's kinda like
what we were gonna do
together, right?

Once we get enough money,
turn this room into an office,

I'll try and sell your stuff
on the Internet.

This'll be kinda like
practice for that.

Pick up a few
business pointers.

Anyway, I think it's good,
you know,

to help other people get
their stuff out there,

just like we're gonna do
with you, you know?

You're getting rid
of that one?

You already have it.
They're not--

I need a more eclectic
music collection for work.

I mean, you've
been romanticizing

this marriage of our music
for months now.

All right.

But it does mean something,
you know:

stuff becoming ours.

This sucks.

Suck.

Sucks.

[knocking on door]

Enter!

[door opens]

Hello.
Hey, how are you?

Uh, Roger?
Yes.

Clarence.
Clarence,
nice to meet you.

This is my partner Martin.
Martin.

Martin.
Nice to meet you.

Come right over here
and have a seat.

How are y'all today?
Good. How about yourself?

Yeah. Good.

Oh, so why don't you play
something for us then?

I don't play instruments.

I sing, uh,
contemporary,

inspirational
Christian music.

So that's what
that is.
Oh, okay.

So if I just play this,

then you can sing
along to it?
Yep.

No, I-- If you play this,
I can sing along to it.

Oh, that's actually
you singing.

Yeah.

Oh, let's listen
to you sing.

* And I could

* But I won't *

* So I will see you

* Again

* Tonight, tonight

* My friend

* Different countries
of the world, yeah *

* Different countries
of the world, yeah *

* Different countries
of the-- *

* Where did you go?

* I don't know *

* You were there
for a second *

* Alabaster sand castles

This is a song I wrote
about an ex-- not an ex--

an old stepsister,
like, from a prev--

You know, parents got
divorced and stuff.

[Martin]
Oh, okay.

I don't do music full time.

I mean, I have a--
I have a full-time job
and everything.

Oh, okay.
My wife saw
your ad and--

* I rearranged
all the letters *

* In my first
and last name *

* To try and give this book
a better title *

Uh, I wrote
this song after--

after we watched
Brewster's Millions.

Like, not when it came out,

but earlier this year
on TBS.

** [slow rock drums]

* --light of that City

Whoa!
[Martin applauding]

[laughing]

* He's the light *

* He's the light *

* He's the light *

Pull your chair
back up there.

That was great stuff.

Christian, like, kinda,
Peter Gabriel even.

[Clarence]
Guess what.

Your life's
about to change.

[chuckles]
That's why
you came here, right?

You wanna put together
an album?

You want
a professional album?

Yeah, I'd like to see
something come forth.

How much money could we get
from you today,

like, to put towards making
an album with you?

How much money?
Uh-huh.

Like, what kind
of financial commitment
could you make?

Oh, gosh.

I don't know.
I'm not sure.

Today, you know, it's...

See,
this is what we do.

We-- We produce--

We produce records,
and we--

What label or what
record company are you?

Well, we're
the Great World of Sound.

We have a professional
recording studio in Nashville

that we use.
Okay, great.

And we got voice people,
backup people.

We got all the musicians.
We got the whole deal.

You spent
quite a bit of money

preparing your tracks,
I would assume.

Well, that right there,

that's
just a karaoke track.

Oh, I see.
Are you willing to travel?

Yeah. No problem.

Got kids?
No.

No kids. Got a wife?

Uh, I'm getting married
tomorrow night, but--

Get out of here!

The one time
I could go was today.

I got to be up
in the mountains at 5:00

for the rehearsal dinner
and all that.

Martin, tell him
some of the things

about how the financing
on the album developments go.

Oh. Well, um...

usually,
like, what we...

would ask for,
like, from you

is, like,
just a commitment

to know that you're,
like, serious about this.

I don't know
the exact figures,

but-- but, you know,

we usually, like,
ask for, like, 30%.

Like, we pay
for the rest of it.

Like, we pay
for the promotion
and the packaging

and the CDs and stuff.

It would just be to help
with the recording costs.

Do you want
to stay at this level,

or you want to move up
to the bigger time?

Well, I'm wanting
to go up big time.

Okay. That requires
that you make

a good faith
down payment.

Are you prepared today
to give us a check?

Not today, I'm not.

You're not prepared
to take up the-- okay.

As far as, like,
the money for, uh,

like, say, the $3,000
just for the number,

like, when would I--

when would I be required
to come up with that amount?

Now.

Can't do it.
No, we would like you

to make a good faith
contribution today.

Shit, man.

We're going
to work with you.

I've got 5 bucks.
You've got 5 bucks.

We're leaving
for our honeymoon,
like, Sunday.

500, 3-- 300.

Yeah.

And we'll be set.

I'd love to throw out $300,

but I might not be able

to sleep in the same
room with her.

The end of the day,
you've got an album.

And this is my--

For the rest
of your life

if you never
do another one.

And not just an album

that you hand
out to your friends.

We're going to handle
distribution.

Right. I mean, I--

Sounds good.
Sounds exciting.

It does.
This is very exciting.

It's kind of like looking
over the edge of the cliff.

It's like, do you jump or--
I don't know.

We have the paperwork
available and ready.

Why don't we get started?

And let's process this,

and you can sign
on the dotted line.

Think about jumping
over the cliff,

like, when you skydive
for the first time,

and somebody's
strapped to your back

and they can pull
the cord for you.

We're those guys
for you, you know?

Man, this sales shit
is some crazy shit.

I don't know, though.

You kept jumping in
with the good stuff.

I just don't know

how to deal with these
people here.

These-- You know,
these artist types--

you know,
white people, see?
You understand?

See, it's just nuts.

"My ex-wife almost
bought a time-share."

That's
some nutty stuff.

You know what?
It'll be easier

once we get
the right people.

I mean, these
less talented ones,

it's going to be work.

Work my ass, man.

Hey, listen, I'm going
to tell you something.

Listening
to that shit there

and watching
some motherfucker
about to cry on you,

now, that's straight
pain, brother.

Now,
I worked as a bouncer

over on North Tryon.

I done heard all the music
these college kids--

I swear to you,
I promise you,

ain't none of it
was ever as bad as that.

Man, let's go on
back in there.

This will be ready
in a little bit.

Dude, The Lowtowners
were fierce.

They were pioneers.

I had
both their albums.

Did you?
Thank you very much.

That song where the girl
slit her throat...

And second of all,
I'm not really comfortable

talking about this kind
of thing.

Could you tell me
the traditional way
it works?

Yeah.
All I'm saying is

if you make them
feel special,

we have
a higher chance

of signing everybody
we audition.

But I thought we were
only supposed to sign
the good ones.

That's a great question,
Henry.

I like that.

Let me put it
to you this way.

Think of us
as a big university,

a big public university
with 60,000 kids.

Now, we know all 60,000

aren't going to come out
magna cum laude

if they even come out
at all.

I know I barely got out
by the skin of my teeth
myself.

But the purpose
of the university

is to still graduate
the best and the brightest

into society.

Now,
do you think that handful,

that few best and brightest,

do you think
their tuition's enough

to pay
for all those teachers

and to pay for all
those big buildings?

[chuckling]
No way.

It takes a lot of guys

with their hats
turned around backwards

to ensure
that those classrooms
are open for the best.

The people that we sign,
even the good ones,

are going
to have cold feet.

They're going to have
the talent,

but they won't
have the work ethic,

and on and on.

So we have to cover
for the dropouts.

Now, I know this is a lot
for you to digest,

but trust us.

There is a method
to our madness.

You'll all catch on
eventually, okay?

So tell me
about your first day.

We didn't do
so good today.

Bad musicians?

Not the best.

But we signed somebody,

so trying to look at that
as an upside.

That's a good sign,
right?
Mm-hmm.

I made this too hot,
didn't I?

It's good.

I think we should get
MTV 2, for research.

Hey. Sorry, babe.
I didn't-- What?

M-Martin's office.

Hey, man, it's Clarence.

Your lady mad?

What are y'all doing,
sleeping, fucking?

Well, anyway,
listen, man,

guess where I'm
calling you from.

Um, your house?

No, man, come on.
Just listen.

[traffic sounds]

Don't you hear
all them outside noises

and cars and everything?

I'm calling you from my
new cell phone, baby.

Ha! That's right.

Layton
gave me a cell phone.

He said we're his "A" men.

It's great for being
out on the road.

And you know what else?

It makes me look
like a producer, baby.

I'm standing
in the parking lot,

and I'm making this happen.

Cool.

Listen, we ain't got
no auditions

in town here
for the next week, okay?

And-- And we ain't
getting paid from Chicago

for another week,
even after that.

That ain't going
to work for me, man.

I got to make some money,

so I want to know if you
want to get out on the road.

We're going to get out there

and start signing us
some stars, baby.

Yeah. Sure.
Let's just do it.

Where were you thinking
about heading?

Well, Layton said
he's got some ads

in Biloxi
and in Birmingham.

I don't know which one
it is right now

because I don't have
the paper in front of me.

If it's Biloxi, we'd be
the Biloxi Blues Brothers

on the road, baby.

And if it's Birmingham,

well, shit, it's just--
we'd be going to Birmingham.

Okay.

I'm going to call you
tomorrow.

And I apologize
to your lady, man.

Tell your lady I,
you know,

I didn't mean to be
no coitius,

uh, interuptius, okay?

Okay.
Okay?

That sounds good.

All right.
Well, ciao, baby.

All right. Bye.

All right, I went ahead

and scheduled
all of these for you.

You got to confirm them
from the road, okay?

Your hotel
is all paid for.

You just got to check in.

But listen,
don't get used to it.

From now on, the hotels,

they're going to come
out of your paychecks,

and you're going to do
all your own scheduling.

Today I gave you
a couple of freebies.

Well, where are we
supposed to do this at?

Out of the hotel.

In the conference room
or something?

If you want to personally
pay for the conference room.

Look, out of the rooms

is how we've always done it,
fellas, all right?

Just, you know,
bring a little CD player

or a little tape thing
from your house.

Look, listen, fellas,
it's all about you.

Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What in God's name
are you doing?

If we got to do it
out of our hotel,

we got to bring
our credibilities with us.

No, no, no.
I cannot let you take
those out of here.

You said yourself ain't nothing
going on here this weekend,

so we'll have them back
by Monday.

Sunday night.

Okay.

Let's go, man.

Hello.

Yeah, this is Clarence

from Great World of Sound
Productions.

That's right,
the same, the same.

Yeah, I'm calling
just to make sure

that you're right on time
for your 2:00

because we're
going to be running
a real tight schedule.

Well, thank you, too.

I look forward
to meeting you, either.

That place. That's right.
Bye-bye.

I don't know if we're
going to sign up
any of these people,

but at least
we're going to have
a whole mess of them.

Well,
you know what they said.

With bad students
at a university,

we just sit there
like the Dean of Admissions.

You know?

Yeah, whatever.

Watch your--
Watch your head.

Aah!
You all right?

Yeah, you know,

when you hold
one of these up,

it's kind of amazing,

isn't it?

I mean,

it's so much work.

It looks just like
a regular record,

but it's gold.

All right,
what the shit is this?

There ain't but one
motherfucking bed in here.

Man, fuck this. This ain't--

There ain't but one
motherfucking bed, man.

Maybe there's one
in the suite. I'll go check.

Okay.

There's not one
in there, either.

You want me to go tell
the lady downstairs?

You going to pay for it?
No.

Now, I see what this shit
is all about.

The room
was in your name, right?

So they got one bed
for the white guy

and then one--
two little couches

for the--
the nigger cohort.

Huh.

Okay, I'm not really
that comfortable

with the word...

"cohort."

No, see-- No, no, no, man.

I ain't laughing this off,
motherfucker.

That shit ain't funny.
This ain't funny!

I don't know why you think
it's just happening to you.

I'll tell you what.
You take the bed.

I'll sleep on the couch.

I'll probably
fucking fit on it.

Yeah, fuck it.
We'll stay here, man.

I'll tell you what.
You take the bed tonight.

I'll sleep on the two
little couches.

Leastwise, this place
has got a beautiful pool,

and you watch me, man,

and see if I don't swim
in every pool

in every place we stay.

Hey! What you going
to do now, Birmingham?

Ah!

Nice phone
they gave us, huh?

Yeah, man. I was just
looking it over.

Think might actually
be a camera phone

if we could figure it out.

Whoa, what makes you
say that?

Oh. That there
on the back near the top,

I think it might be
a lens or something.

Let me see-- Let me
see, all right?

Man, you're crazy.

That's
a motherfucking screw.

I was going to say,

if they gave us
real cameras, partner,

I'd know these
motherfuckers are legit.

All right.

Um, yeah,
you drive safe, too.

Okay. Bye.

You want to call
your girlfriend?

No, man. She--
She's at work anyway.

And she knows she will
see me when she sees me.

And I got a feeling
that when she sees me,

she's going
to be real happy

when she finds out
how this went tomorrow.

Well,
I hope that we find

some really talented
people tomorrow,

you know, that we
can ride all the way
to the top.

Here's
to making some money.

Oh. I'll toast you.
I'm not going to drink

because I
just brushed my teeth.

Don't you get too attached
to that there bed

because tomorrow, brother,
this here is you.

Man, we're up
so damn early,

the maids ain't even
in here yet.

I'll be right back.

Good. You got the bed.

Floor's good.

Uh, I look good.

Here. Yeah.

I'll even look better.

[liquid sloshing]

You know what?

I just bought
these damn things.

They don't weigh shit.

Hey, man,
listen, man.

Hurry up in there,
okay?

Because our first
audition's

supposed to be
here already.

Yeah, I'll be out
in a minute.

All right. And don't be
taking no shits in there

and smelling up the place
before our 9:00.

Okay, I'm not!

[muttering]

Just let me brush
my goddamn teeth!

Jesus!

[grunting]

Wha-- Aah!

Oh.

I got to-- I got to--

I got to do something, man.

Uh, I'll be bench-pressing

that there dresser
over there, man,

if I don't do
something here

because, you know,

I got so much stuff
swimming around my head.

Look, I'm sorry, man.

I'm going to go downstairs

and wait for her
in the lobby.

Hi. Martin.

Hi, Martin.

Please have a seat.

So how are you?

I'm fine, thanks.

What brings you here
today?

Well, there's a little
ad in the paper.

It was a newspaper
that my neighbor
was throwing out,

and I just grabbed it,

and I saw this little ad
for, um,

for people to come in
and audition.

I'm glad you're here.

Uh, we're a small
record company,

and so we like to find
new talent,

people that are unknown

where it's not
necessarily something

that a major record
company's

going to jump on, you know,

but something as a specialty
sort of record company

that we can maybe do
something with, you know?

[Woman]
Okay.

We get
excited about people

that, you know, haven't
been heard before.

We get excited
about letting them
be heard, you know?

There's a lot of people
in this country

that just
never get the chance,
you know what I mean?

Yeah.
That's fantastic.
Yeah.

I just brought
two songs.

I brought two varieties.

I brought a song
that's more subtle

called "Lord Knows",

and I brought another song

which is more upbeat,
more of a party groove,

just to give y'all two sides
of what I've been doing.

What's that one
called?

Uh, "I Came to Party".

This song is called "Today",

and it's just about...

I guess, like,
it would be, like,

looking back
over a summer, you know?

Summer loves and beaches
and everything.

You's
a awfully wise woman

for 14 years of age.

I-- I'm just
thunderstruck here.

Go ahead.
Let me hear this.

* I sold out

* For another hour

* Just sold out

* Where are you
gonna go? *

* Oh, just--

* And she leaves
with a feeling *

* Of astonishment

Most every day.

* Ha la la

* Wa na na na na

* Ha la la

* Wa na na na na

* Ha la la

* Wa na na na na

[harmony]
* Waking up in the night

* Oh

* It don't seem right *

Just--
[Martin]
Great.

I can tell you guys
all like each other a lot,

and that's really great,

and you all look
really good together.

Thanks.

And I think
the music is great.

[Clarence]
So tell me about yourself

and what your aspirations are.

Jenny's the one
who found the ad,

so I think Jenny
should be the one
to answer that.

Yeah, it's definitely
our dream,

and I saw the opportunity,

and I wasn't really sure
what it was about,

but might as well try it--

open that door
and see what can happen.

[Clarence]
What is it that you
want to happen?

Um, I want to not be--

I don't want to work
in a restaurant.

How about you?

I love performing,

and I want to be
respected musically,

and, uh,
I want to be known.

You want to be known.

What I need to know today
is what kind of commitment

I can get from this group,
from Jobula,

financial commitment today,

that we can enroll you
on our roster.

I mean--
We don't
fucking have any.

Come on. Some--
Something today.

...the treasurer,
but, I mean,

we have to talk
about money.

We're not going
to come up with $4,000.

[Clarence]
Well, just do
a portion of it.

What do you say?
It's just a shot.

You guys--
This is what we do.

If you want to come up
with 500 today.

You came here
to make a record.

Do we have a deal?

We have to go with our guts.

Make a commitment
to Martin.

I need everyone in here
to say yes.

I'm not
just the yes girl.

I can come up
with, you know,

a little bit of the $500.

I just, you know--

I can probably
come up with 100.

All right. Come on.
Everybody in here.

You're all a team.
We're a family here.

My hand's sweaty.

Come on, Martin,
get in here.

I brought you
some words, too,

if you want
to look at them.

Oh, we can read along?

I'm a teacher,
so this is where

the anal retentiveness
comes in.

* There ain't nothin'
you can tell me *

* I ain't heard
from another man *

* So put your dirty boots
back on *

* And button up your shirt

That's embarrassing.

[Martin]
I just want to talk
about one thing

because I have to get this
out of the way, you know.

I think we're going
to have a hard time,

uh, selling you
with the name Ganja.

What?

You know--
Oh, man!

No, no, no. No, wait.

You want
to go to Layton

and tell him
that you just signed

a guy named Ganja?

Listen, listen--

Oh, I see.

I'm--
I'm with my brother.

It's not black
against white.

You want to make it

a black against white
thing,

but
it's not about that.

It's about
a marijuana thing.

I'm looking for the album
to be produced.

I've got the album
in my head,

and that was what
I thought you guys--

That's actually
what we're about.

We produce the album.

Now, who owns the rights
to the music?

You.
"Happy Birthday".

You know that song
"Happy Birthday"?

Sure. Sure.

That's--
Somebody wrote that,

and every time
that that's used--

cha-ching.
On television.

Yeah. Or on
the radio.

Not every time
at a birthday party

that someone sings it.

You got to make them feel
like you're their friend.

Like if I just go--

What I see you do
sometimes--

you get them
right to the point.

You got them.
You've over here.

You're talking to them,

and then, when you
start to talk money,

you walks
away from them,

and you let them off
the hook, then, see?

You got to stay on them
now at this point.

When-- When you--
When you're
right at the money,

you know,
that's when you--

Just stay there.

You caress them,
you know,

with your words,

and you might even put
your hand on their back,

you know,
and listen now--

Touch them?

I can hear your talent,

but the recording
is just making me crazy

because I can't hear you.

Our important thing
is in producing
a quality album

that we can
feel proud of

and that we know we're
going to take that out

and give it to somebody
and sell it to them.

This is the kind
of company we are.

We're going to provide
you with an opportunity

to make yourself big,

and we're also going
to get out in front

and help blow you up,
okay?

Yeah, we just
want to talk

about some kind of
financial commitment
on your part

in order to initially
get the ball rolling.

How much of a financial
commitment?

You know, all we're
looking for from you
is-- is--

An assurance that you're
going to follow through.

$2,000 or $3,000.
Okay.

Does that
seem reasonable?

That sound good
to you?

Yeah,
I can pay $1,000.

Well, look, before
we finalize everything,

let's take a picture
with the picture phone

and send it
back to the office.

There you go. Give me
a big successful smile.

Uh, this is it.
[beep]

Got that.
You're too good, man.

Usually I'm sitting here
writing all these notes,

and I didn't even
pick up my clipboard

because I was just...

transfixed
because it was
really terrific.

It was
really beautiful.

Oh, gosh.

In fact, I'll write
"terrific" here.

I just want
to write something.

Have you written
any songs yourself?

Your own songs?

We have a lot of,
you know, people

that write music.

Yes. Oh!

Okay.
Oh, yes.

I can't read music.

Well, you can sing.

Fear not.

The important thing

is that you know someone
that writes music.

Then you retain
the publishing rights.

Do you know the song
"Take It to the Limit"?

By The Eagles? Yes.

My husband wrote that song.

Your husband wrote
"Take It to the Limit"?

Him and his brother
wrote that song,

and, um, uh, what's that--

* Wake up,
Little Susie, wake up *

So he understands
the songwriting business.

Well, he doesn't. He did that
when he was a kid.

He wrote it
when he was a kid.
Didn't he get paid?

No. They just put it
in the mail,

in the post box,

and sent it off
to the radio station.

Uh--
Because they were wanting
new songs, you see.

So we got--
This is
Mark or Gabe?

Sir.

There, this is Mark.

And you guys are Marked.

So you're Mark and Marked.

I'm excited, guys.

Don't mind me.
I'm a little excited

because we have--
well, we had--

we had
one group in here,

but we've never had
two different groups
of guys that--

It's stereo.

A lot of
cooperation.

** [vocalizing]

* I won't always weep
by your side *

* I won't always weep
by your side *

* I won't always weep
by your side *

* Won't you fall? *

* And I die *

* Daily to myself? *

Jukebox or whatever.

It's your money
that you get for--

...we require
of our new artists

because we're putting
out a lot of money
up front.

And we're putting a lot
of money up front

for the production of--

...a portion in,
you understand?

And we ask for,
you know--

...your
financial portion--

...you know, you guys
to participate in that.

We set up all
the studio time--

[strumming guitar]

Sometimes I do
the horns myself.

Oh, that's cool.

[imitates trumpet]

[imitates trumpet]

* As I fly away

* To the highest
mountaintop *

* I will call your name

* How I love

* Your sweet name,
oh darlin' *

* You are mine tonight

* I will carry you
through the door *

* To the threshold
of a land *

* And as friends
we bear witness *

* To love and commitment

* From then

It's really beautiful.

We could
probably afford

to get you
a actual trumpet.

Yeah, that would be cool.

You know.

You all right, man?

Actually, that thing
you're starting to do
with the phone

is bothering me some.

Hey, it's just
a little something

that popped in my head,
you know?

I think it helps.

Give them a little
something extra.

It's cool.

I mean, look,
just because it's a lie

does not mean
it's not a good idea.

When we
make a little money,

we'll get one that,
like, really does
take pictures.

** [man singing in German]

Hoy, hoy!

You know that one,
huh?

It's a old standard,
man.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, what do you want
to sing for us today?

A song I wrote.

A song that you wrote.

All right.
What's it all about?

National anthems.

You wrote a song
about national anthems?

You mean you're singing
"The Star-Spangled Banner"?

No, sir. No, sir.

She ain't singing
no version

of "The Star-Spangled
Banner".

The song she wrote

is the most beautiful song
I ever heard.

I did two tours of Vietnam,
so I ought to know.

We-- We're--
We'd love to have
her sing it.

We're excited to hear it.

She's good to go.

* In the wars

* When the wars were still
going, going strong *

* Weren't nobody
in the wars *

* Who was living very long

* Asked my teacher
why folks die *

* She said some folks,
they die for songs *

* It's how they know
that they belong *

* Don't mess with me,
don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* You think I'm kiddin' *

* I'm not kidding *

* Got my finger
on the trigger *

* So get your ass
behind the singer *

* I'm like Texas,
I'm like Texas *

* I'm like Texas,
only bigger *

* This song is for
the catamarans *

* And y'all with
the super-bad Trans-Ams *

* For what you done
in churches *

* And for what
you done in bars *

* Just helps you stand up
when it's hard *

* 'Cause that's all
the national anthems are *

Don't think
no less of her

for that swear
she put in there.

I let her put it.

Mr. Kent,

I wouldn't think
no less of that angel

if she hauled off and punched
my partner in the face.

That is such a beautiful
song, Kyndra.

It's a beautiful,
beautiful song.

So y'all can help her?

Mr. Kent, we've been
sitting here

for a couple of days
now,

and I swear to you--

First thing
we're going to do

is get Kyndra and you
into our studio.

We're going to master
a copy of this song

that's just perfection,

just like you hear
on the radio.

Then we're going
to press some CDs.

And then...

we'll need
to put this one
in the Wal-Marts.

We have had
tremendous success

with our Southern-produced
acts in the Wal-Marts.

I don't know. It's amazing.

But Kyndra here
is not going to remain

a Southern-produced act
for a long time.

I just want to step in,
Mr. Kent.

There's a lot going on
in this country right now,

culturally, and--
and-- and-- and--

and I think your daughter

might have really
tapped into something.

There's a kind of singing,
roaring patriotism

to what she's doing

that I think is actually
honest about ourselves--

to me anyway.

It's-- It's a very
viable sort--

It's a very--
The song is timely.

Perfect time--

Perfect timing.

...for this song.

The timing is perfect.

Viable song.

It's very viable.

Well, I got to be honest
with you folks now

because you look
like you're decent folks.

We don't provide
the service for free.

We-- We--
We are in the business.

of providing talented folks

with
the professional tools

that is necessary
to be successful.

Mr. Kent,
I know it sounds
like something

that is not absolutely
essential right now,

but I think
it's a worthwhile
investment.

Yeah, right, right.
Let me talk to you.
Sir--

No, please.
Call me Clarence.

How much?

We usually go to 900
for a single.

Listen, that's about
as far as we can go.

You don't know how much people
make around here, do you?

That includes
all the free stuff

that we don't do
for most people.

What we're trying
to present--

All right, hold on a sec.

Mr. Kent,

I will personally...

pay half the cost
of production

because I believe
in your little girl's talents.

Look, it's coming
out of my own pocket.

I'm not even talking
about the company, sir.

I'll have to call some people.

[Clarence]
Yes.

Yes.

Amen. Amen.

All right. Here we go.

I need to have everybody
just squeeze in.

[Clarence]
Man, I feel

like we're going to be
good at this shit.

* We're the Birmingham
Blues Brothers on the road *

* And off the hook

* And my hands
are off the wheel *

* My hands
are off the wheel *

Better drive this car

because we can't make
no money if we're dead.

Ha!

I can drive this car

eating a chow mein sandwich
with chopsticks.

You see this?
You see this?

You're crazy.

I've traded in
almost ten CDs

at this one store I found.

They said they'd
have taken more

except for the scratches,

but I didn't think
they were so scratched

that someone else
might not take them.

How much did you get?

Oh,
I took store credit

so you come out
better.

Yeah, I know they don't
give you shit.

What about
that Clarence guy?

You think you guys
will stick together?

Yeah, no, he's great.
He's hilarious.

I mean,
somebody will come in,

and he'll be like

"You wish to be involved
in the music industry.

"We produce records.

That is prezactly
what we do."

I mean, you know,
he does this one thing

that kind of annoyed me
with the cell phone.

Oh, what was it
that Lorna and I were
talking about today?

Remember how, like,
when you used to call people,

either they were home
or they weren't?

You know, like,
you got their machine?

But now everybody
has a cell phone,

but when you call people,

it's like they pick up
even less, you know?

I don't know.

Yeah. That's weird, too.

It's like it seems like
people used to be home more.

Oh, your surprise.

I signed us up
for digital cable
and digital internet.

I kind of wish
you waited for that.

No, no. It's just I
took some of our money,

and I put it
into helping out
that little girl--

you know, the one
with the new
national anthem?

But we don't really
have the money
for that right now.

How much did you give?

Not much. I mean,
the company
already put in

way more than it
normally would.

We negotiated it down
to almost nothing,

but this man, he still
couldn't afford it,

so we had to kind of
make him a deal.

How much
did you give them?

Don't.

Don't what?

Just don't-- don't--

don't make this
about obligation.

Don't even make it
about that.

What does that mean?

Look, I'm just trying

to get a hold
of something here.

Well, we both are.

Yeah, well, maybe there's
more than one thing

to get a hold of.

Uh, look...

In some weird way,

helping that man
help out his little girl,

it was like--

it gave me a little
a kind of confidence.

Look, I'm all about you
trying to settle in here.

I wasn't trying to say that--

No, no, no, no. Listen.

There's a lot of talented
people in this country

who never get a chance,
you know?

And I feel
like if I help them out,

I'm--
I'm making something.

Look, it sounds good
and everything.

I mean, just part
of making us work was...

I cut up the credit cards--

I know, I know, I know.

I know
you don't see it,

but it is,
it's about us.

It takes money
to make money.

[scoff]

What?

[sigh]

You know, there's already

a black national anthem,
though, right?

[Clarence]
A new national anthem, man!

Yeah, you see all kinds
of ideas, I guess.

She had
a really nice voice.

I think if she
keeps up with this,

she can have something great
when she gets old.

It was the craziest damn
song I ever done heard.

But she pulled it off, man.
She really pulled it off.

I mean, turtles
and camel drives

and everybody
drunk in the snow.

I'll tell you,
that ADD shit

they've been giving
these kids these days

ain't no joke,
and I can see that now.

Well, Shank is very
pleased with you boys.

You've done great.
You have the checks
for me?

Yeah, yeah. Right there.

There's a little piece
of paper in there

with the sum total up on it.

Fine. We should have
your checks by Friday.

Uh, Shank wanted me
to ask you--

Why does this check
have your name on it?

Just putting my money
where my mouth is.

Is there a problem
with us doing that?

Personally, I wouldn't
make a habit of it,

but anyway,
Shank wanted to know

if you boys are ready
to go on another trip.

Sure. Where?

Well, we've got ads
running

in the paper
up in Louisville

but nobody
to send up there.

We could go see
the studio in Nashville.

Would you
at this point in time

be interested
in pressing forward?

Would you like
to seek your dream out?

I would be interested
in doing it,

but I can't do it
financially at this time.

Financially you could
do it at this time.

You didn't ask me

"How can I
make this happen?"

Okay. Well, the thing is
you all didn't wait until--

I wanted to be kind

and wait until you were
done thoroughly explaining,

and then I was going to ask

what are some of the other
options that I could explore.

When you say no
to me--

I did not say no.

When people say no
to me--

I said I can't do it
financially at this time.

Well,
that means no to me

because you know what?

You look up, and three
years will go by,

and you still won't
have your master CD
in your hand.

Mm-hmm.

Today is the day

when your opportunity
is present.

Today is...

You're shaking your head
no, see, again at me.

Don't do that now.

The reason is--

Makes my blood pressure
go up.

I understand that.

I want you
to come on our roster.

I understand that.

But let me explain
something to you.

As a teacher
at a private school,

I don't get paid
over the summer,

so that's unfortunate.

My finances at this time--

and I hate
to have to go into that,

but I have to admit

my finances at this time
is unfortunate.

And what I have
in my purse at this time

is all I'm going to have

until I find my next job
for the summer.

So don't tell me no,
it's impossible.

Do me a favor and take
a chance on your future.

I want you to be
on board with us.

And I would like to.

All right, then do it.

That's how you do
this thing in this world.

You make a commitment.

You decide you want
to do something.

You go do it.
You understand?

That's true.

And take the first step.

Okay?

Okay.

When Jesus
walked on the water,

the first thing He did

was He stepped
out of the boat.
Mm-hmm.

Now, God can't put
His hands underneath you.

That's right.

Underneath your feet--
Mm-hmm.

...till you take
the first step forward.

That's right.

Do it.

Do that for me.

Okay.

Look at me.

I--
Do that for me.

Okay.

Do that for yourself.

Okay.

All right?
Mm-hmm.

God bless you.

And I'm going to make
some calls in,

see what the results--

I know what the results
are going to be.

You're going to be back
here in a little while.

I'm going to be here
till 11:00 tonight.

That's what I wanted to ask.

I'll be here.
You come back at that time

and you bring me something,

I'm going
to take you to dinner.

I saw you're single.

Yes, I am.

There you go.

Okay. Let me see
what I can get done.

God bless you.

What is the minimum
that I would be in--

How much do you
believe in yourself?

I believe in myself 100%.

Bring me $300, you're in.

Okay. Well, at least
I have a figure.

That way, I can know
what to try and--

Bring me $300,
you're in.

300. Okay.

You're a salesman.

Yeah.

Well,
what do you sell?

Me and a partner
started a product

called
Almighty Dirt Buster,

and it's a liquid
concentrate cleaner.

We sell it door-to-door

with
a group of salespeople

who go out
and demonstrate it

at people's homes.

That's
basically what I do.

About four years ago,

songs just started
coming to me,

and I was just like,
you know, in shock myself

because I never wrote
no songs.

You know what I mean?
Inspired.

Yeah. I mean, one day,

I was watching
Oprah Winfrey on television,

and you know,
she always wears some kind
of pretty colors anyway.

That's the first song
I wrote was "Her Colors".

And it's-- something--

It's basically
about Oprah Winfrey,

but it could fit anyone.

Right.
You know,
because any woman--

most women wear colors,
you know,

they wear all kinds
of beautiful colors.

I've been put on the face
of the earth to entertain.

I'm a singer. It's the gift
I've been given.

I'm a songwriter.
You know,

that's another gift
I've been given.

I-- You know, it's going
to happen, you know,

one way or another.

I mean, people heard me.
They know. They like me.

You know.
Right.

Some of my friends
call me prolific.

I can't help it.
That's--

** [rap on boom box]

* Let go, and get it on *

* We can get it on
till the break of dawn *

* I got jones in my bones,
for you, for you *

* Let me know
what you want to do *

** [continues]

And what's my percentage?

Ah. Now there you go.

Go on, Martin,
talk to her.

Well, you know, we are--

we would work
on that with you,

but, you know,
we ask for, you know,

a financial contribution--

She's interested
in percentage of profit.

Tell her her percentage
of profit!

Oh, percentage of profit.

Yeah, she wants to know

about how much
she's going to make.

On, uh, on publishing
rights, 100%.

Okay, and sales?

70%.

I'll make 70?

Yeah.

You just make 30.

Yep.

And I...have--

I-- How-- What kind
of assurance do I have

that you're going to
actually put this out?

Well, we ask for some
insurance from you

in terms of getting you
into the recording studio.

Well, what if I
gave you my money

and didn't get
anything and just--

That's not going to happen.

What is it that you
feel about yourself

that you feel like you
won't get anything?

I'm not worried
about myself.

I'm
worried about you.

Why?

Because I've been
around the block.

Did you see me
on that block?

It's time for your talent
to get out there.

Jump in the pool with us
and start swimming.

What have you got to lose?

You ain't got
nothing to lose!

I have, like 3
or 4 grand to lose.

You look like somebody
that don't know
what I'm talking about.

No, you sound
very self-assured,

but, I mean,
most salesmen do.

We're not salesmen.
I'm real good at it.

I know you're good.

So do you have
confidence in me?

Look me in my eye.

I'm going to have
to think this over.

Look me in my eye
and talk to me.

Do you believe
I can sell you?

Your eyes
are identical.

Yeah,
we're identical twins.

We're brothers.
I got it.

Maybe we're hung up
on the money thing here.

I mean, it's--

Yeah, that's a whole lot
of money.

I mean,
what-- what's--

What's a reasonable amount
that you could--

that you would invest
in something like that
right now?

'Cause we're not concerned
with that so much

as we are with--

I might be able
to come up with a grand.

A thousand dollars?
Yeah, would that...

do it?
Absolutely
that would do it.

Get us well on our way

to getting into
the recording studio.

And would you be
prepared to--

Did you bring
your checkbook today?

Well, um,

I'm gonna have to...

talk to my banker.

Okay.

Let's go to the bank.

I'll talk to him.
All right.

Okay.
I'll go with you.

Okay.
Where's lunch?

** [electro]

* You wanna be cool

* You wanna be it

* You know you do,
just like Cockpit *

* You wanna be cool

* You wanna be it

* You know you do,
just like Cockpit *

** [static]
** [theremin]

You want ham hocks?
You wanna walk
outta that--

Man, I had a headache
when I walked outta there.
Yeah.

I can't be eating
all that kind of stuff.

You seen the size
of some of these
people here, man?

Yeah, I know.
Holy mackerel.

Yeah.
Don't they get it?

Yeah, I saw a woman
that was about that wide.

She was wider
than she was tall.

I wanna ask
you something.

She had a T-shirt that said
"Daddy's Little Angel" on it.

I wanna ask
you something.

When you-- When you look
at people like that...
Yeah.

...do you imagine

trying to have sex
with someone like that?
No, no.

Got you.
** [theremin]

I am the wizard.

Listen, you all
is good Christian folks,

so you know that there is
some less Christian folks,

they don't understand
African-American culture,
you understand?

Oh, yeah.
Some of 'em don't.
They really don't.

Now, my boss...

is in the other room
on the phone.

Mm-hmm.
He like white music.

Oh, he don't know--
And-- But--

But he knows
that gospel sells.

'Cause he say
a good gospel act

may not make it
on television,

but it will get
on the radio.
It will.

It will get
in people's homes.
Yes, it will.

And it will get
in people's souls.

Glory to your name!
Now, listen.

We got to show him something
right off the bat.

Otherwise,
he'll send you all off

if he don't see that
the deal is being closed.

You understand?
Uh-huh.

I'm serious.

You know the government
made him hire me,

and he still won't let me
go out on my own?

Oh, Mr. Underpoint!
We are doing just
fantastic here!

We are just about
to finish, sir!

[door opens]

Hey, man.

I hope you like cans.

That's all they had.

Wanna shotgun one
just to be doing it?

[chuckles]
No.
Oh.

[exhales]
Whew.

That was
good work today, man.

Why don't you call in
the numbers tonight?

[dialing phone]

Hey, this is Martin Anderpont
calling in the numbers
from Louisville.

Do you guys have any idea
how much trouble you cost
me today?

I'm sorry?

One of your
Birmingham people

made a check all the way out
to Great World of Sound.

I told all of you,

it's GWS.

That's what they have
at the bank.

I had a hell of a time
making a deposit.

Did you take any checks today
for Great World of Sound?

Uh, no, sir.

Uh...

they're all made out to...

GWS, just like you asked.

Okay. All right. Good.

Tomorrow we're starting
a new policy.

You take all the checks,
go right to the bank.

Okay.

There's less chance
of a check getting lost,

like two other guys
did already this week.
Sure.

I'll talk to you
tomorrow, Anderpont.

All right. Thanks.

[beeps]

You sure you got
the right address?

It should be
in this block.

What the hell?

For the life of me,

I can't see
what the big deal
about Nashville is.

Well, Nashville's
got history.

This place look like
it's history.

Man, we shouldn't
send people here.
This looks bad.

Yeah, I'm sure
the rent is cheap.

Look at that, man.
They got a elephant
over there.

Hey!
Come on in the house!

How are you?
I'm Frank.

Frank, I'm Clarence.
This here is Martin.

Oh, wow. You must be
the new sales guys
from Charlotte.

Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

You're the ones
that brought us

this new national
anthem, huh?

Right.
That's us.

[chuckles]
God bless you.

America, too,
I suppose.

Come on back.
Let's take a look around.

That was Kyndra Kent.

"Battle Hymn
of Wonder/Purpose."

Take eight.
This is my brother Fred.

You probably talked to him
on the phone.

How you doing?
I'm Clarence.

Clarence and Martin.
Nice to meet you.

They're from
Great World of Sound.

From? Isn't this part
of Great World of Sound?

Mr. Kent! How you doing?
It's good to see you, sir!

Can I see you outside?

[door opens]

Okay, you ready again,
Kyndra?
[door closes]

* In the wars, when the--
[feedback, tape rewinds]

Okay, let's go again.

Okay.

** [piano]

[tape rewinds]
So, is it going well?

Um...

as well as
the subject matter

would lend itself to,
I suppose.

** [Kyndra singing]

* Weren't nobody
in the wars *

She's looking
pretty tired.

[Mr. Kent shouting]

[singing, shouting
overlapping]

I told you that my daughter
was gonna sing the song!

[voices overlapping]

How many times you had her
run through it?

This one will be
number nine.

Nine.
[door opens]

[door closes]
We need to get the hell
out of here right now.

Why?
Right now.

[tape rewinding]

What'd he say?

It don't matter.
It wasn't good.

Man, I think we just got
to shake that shit off.

Look, from now on,

I think if their demo
sound good enough, man,

we just cut 'em
some kind of special deal

where they ain't
gotta go nowhere.

I don't know, man.
We're the producers, right?

I mean, why aren't we
in there supervising?

I don't know who
those guys are.

It don't matter
who they are.

You ain't cutting
the checks, are you?

I paid for part
of that one.

Look, man, we just gotta
stay positive, okay?

Keep on going out here
making sales.

We might find somebody else
who's really amazing.

[chattering]

Hey.

What are you doing?
I found this yesterday.

We were out rummaging
for materials.

I thought I might find
a use for it.

And Lorna found some
old seats from a stadium.

Want some
bleachers, Marty?

It's Martin.

I'll, uh,
pick you up tomorrow?

Okay. Bye.

Wish I could play
an instrument.

If we have kids,
I want them to play music.

Yeah. I'll manage
their careers,

and you can do
their album covers.

[chuckles]

Now that you're
a record producer,

maybe I should learn how
to play something.

And then you could produce me.

And then you could record
the whole family.

Come on.
Give me a break, will you?

What?

Hey.

Hey.

I was just kidding.

[chatter on TV]

I'm sorry, okay?

I just-- I don't know
about this fucking job.

No, I'm sorry.

It's just you go
back and forth

with this stuff
all the time.

What am I supposed
to say?

I'm tired, too.

I like this job.

I like--

I like the idea of this job,

but the idea of it
is not the same as doing it.

It's just a job.

Sometimes you just have
to sit down

and open another beer

and paint another fuckin' duck,
you know what I mean?

Huh?

Oh, fuck it.

I'm paying all the rent.

I've got to do
your fucking job
for you, too?

I'm sorry
I was being stupid.

It's okay.
We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Martin, get off me, honey.
You're hot.

Okay, we'll take up
the rest of that tomorrow.

But right now,
any questions

on things happening
out in the field there?

Most of these people
I've been seeing are
fucking terrible.

I haven't seen one group
really worth signing in weeks.

All right, guys.
Guys, all right?

Look, these people,
they really wanna show
the world their art.

Your job--
Just be a conduit to them.

All right?
Don't judge it.

We need to let
these people know

that we think their music
is really special.

Even if you don't think
it's special?

Yes.

[Shank]
Okay, we need
to talk cash here.

We could be doing
a better job there.

I can get session musicians

to devote more time

if I offer them cash.

which means better recordings,

which means a better shot
at the big time.

I don't see how
you can ask for it.

And it's a big turn-off
when I mention it.

I lose the sale.

Walter, I can help you
with that.

We'll talk afterwards, okay?

Guys, we've gotta be going
for much more cash investment
across the board.

We're way behind on that.
Why, in case they cancel
the check?

[whispers]
Oh, shit.
This is crap.

I can't keep on ripping
these people off.

I don't know if you've
been ripped off before,
but it doesn't feel good.

[chuckles]
Son, I've about had it
with your attitude.

I've never ripped off anybody
in the 20 years I've been
in this business.

Have you?
No. Hell no.

If you feel you're
being dishonest--
No, you're being dishonest.

You're the one--
No, I beg your pardon.

You are. Nobody else
in this room is.

It's you.

You think I've had money
all my life?

I stand up here

in front of you young fellas

as an example,

to show you that
if you work hard like me,

you can make it, too.

And all I ever get
out of this one

is little, whiny,
girl noises.

[Men laughing]
It's pathetic.

That's great.

Son, you're the worst
producer we have here.

You know that?
And all you do is complain.

That's cool.

Yeah, get your stuff.
There you go.

Yeah, bye-bye, Sally.

[laughter]

[door slams]
Look at the bright side.

Our production
just went up 15%,

so congratulations,
fellas.

Hey, I've been looking
for you.

I'm sorry you guys
had to see that.

Whoa. What's this?

That's a little bonus.

You two are our best
new salesmen.

We just-- Mr. Shank wanted
to let you know that
you're appreciated.

This says Indianapolis.

Yeah, we got ads running
in the paper up there.

Look, a lot of the guys,
they haven't worked out
as well as you,

so, you know, we're
probably gonna be rehiring.

Shank's mother's sick.

And you guys are doing
so well,

we figured we'd send you
back up there,

test the waters again.

Test the waters?

Shank said you drew people
from there all the time

when you was out
of Chicago.

Yeah, but that was
a while ago, though.

I mean, it's a good town.

It's worth another taste,
all right?

Especially with our best
two new faces, huh?

And, you know,
Shank thought you
might want the money.

We'll go.
[chuckles]

All right.

Now, remember,

try for more cash
this time, okay?

No more screw-ups
on the checks.

Yeah, that was--
That was our mistake.

But what was
the big deal
about that?

Look, the account
is in Shank's name.

His initials, GWS--

He had to take your check,

open up a whole new account.

But to your credit,
it was a big check,

so, you know,
it was worth it.

Hey, I meant
to ask you,

How's that distribution going

on the Kyndra Kent song?

The who?

That national anthem?

Oh, yeah, I--

You know,
the way I heard it,

she just kinda
screwed up up there.

You know, wasted a lot
of time in the studio.

All the money kinda
got sucked up into that.

We couldn't press CDs,
couldn't do mailings.

I mean, you know,
that happens.

You know, you might wanna
call her again, though.

Maybe you guys
could work out

something new
with her, right?

Okay?

Look, it's a great thing
you guys are doing.

You're doing fantastically.
We're so pleased.

I mean, if everybody
was doing as good as you,

well, maybe we'd have
the ball rolling by now.

Okay, Mr. Anderpont.

And that'll be one-way
to Indianapolis.

No, it's a roundtrip.

Um, no, sir.
It says here one-way.

Uh, yeah. Um...

That's that new
accounting stuff.

The agency said that
if they set up the
roundtrips like this,

that it will save
the company and us money.

Okay?

Will you excuse us
for a second?

Are you fucking
kidding me?
Hey, listen, man.

We just deposit the money
like before,

then they call
the agency,

they release
the tickets, okay?

It's just a little
jive-ass incentive program.

They're not gonna leave us
stranded out there.

I don't know.
I'm starting to get
real sketched out.

I was talking
to that Walter dude

about how many CDs
that Shank actually
prints up--

Hey, Walter is
a fuckin' retard, man.

They probably would leave
his dumb ass out there.

They are not gonna fuck us.
You know why?

Layton's scared of my ass.

Layton's scared my ass
is gonna go nut,

come in there
and kill him.

I don't know.

Look, man.
I gotta make some money.

I gotta go.
Now, you heard him.

I know this is
a little weird.

But we're their best team.

We're their A-team.

If we don't go,
they don't get nothing.

If we don't make
our quota,

they still gotta
fly us back here.

We can really
make it big here, man.

Hi.
Hi.

We should have
a suite reserved

for Martin Anderpont.

Sir, are you with
some sort of music company?

Yes.
Yes, well, we can't
help you here.

And you might wanna tell
your friends.

They showed up
some time ago.

I'm sorry, I don't--
Sir, please leave.

This hotel doesn't want
this sort of thing here.

How you doing, fellas?
Clarence from Great World
of Sound.

You should be nice.

Thank you all for coming.
There's been confusion.

Still no answer?

No, I don't know
where them fools are.

I know they ain't out
distributing records.

No, see, there ain't
enough room, man.

We gonna have to move one
of these beds outta here.

* Without you

* I'd live in my car *

* I'd give up cigars *

* Whatever, whatever

* Whatever it takes

We're getting ready to invest
a lot of money in you
to make an album.

What can you
come up with today

to ensure that
you're serious

about your finance--

future here with GWS?

You want us
to give you money?

Oh, absolutely.

That's what
the new talent does

just to show us
how serious you are

about your
recording future.

I don't think
that's how it works, man.

I thought this was
a real situation.

Your world right now
is this big.
Right.

It's Indianapolis.
Mm-hmm.

I'm trying to make
your world so wide

you can't put your arms
around it.

We don't think
that it'll be...
Wait. Hold up.

to our advantage...
I hear where you're going.

...to do any business
with you guys.

That's the whole thing.

Son, you don't
believe in me.

Don't believe in me.
Believe in this man.

You got problems
with a black man

telling you about
your future?

Fine.
Talk to this white man.

[laughter]
Go on talk to him.

Tell 'em, Martin.

It's just a 30%--

We pay 70%
of the recording.

But we already have
our own studio.
Yeah.

Well...that's great, too.

I mean, we're
actually talking--

We got a whole branch
of our business
that does--

That's not what I do.
I make records.

You guys keep
all your publishing.

Go on.
See ya.

Leave.
We gonna be here.

You think it over
and talk it over.
Nice to meet you, man.

Man, what is it
with these people here today?

Don't nobody want
to talk with us.

This is where Shank started.
They probably already know.

Know what?

Know what?

I guess there's already
a fuckin' black national
anthem.

That ain't
my department.

My department
is selling people.

And if we don't make
some sales,

we are fuckin' fucked.

* That means no

* Where I come from

* I am cold

* Out waiting
for the day to come *

* I chew my lips

* Oh, and I scratch
my nose *

* Feels so good to be

* A rose

* Oh, don't *

* Don't you lift me up *

* Ooh, like I'm that shy *

* No, no, no, no, no

* Just give it up

[chuckles]

* There are bats

* All dissolving

* In a row

* Into the wishy-washy dark

* That cannot let go

* And I cannot let go

* And so I thank the Lord

* Ooh, and I thank
his sword *

* Though it be mincing up

* The mornings slightly bored

* Oh, morning

* Without warning

* Like a hole

* And I watch you go

* That's why
I love this town *

* Just look around

* To see me
serenaded hourly *

* And celebrated sourly

* And dedicated dourly

* Waltzing with the open sea

* Clam, crab, cockle, cowrie

* Oh, just look at me

So how'd it sound
up there?

Like I was in the front row.

Come over
and have a seat.

You know, Martin and I,

we've been doing this here
for awhile, auditioning people.

But you gotta be honest
with me about something now.

What is it that you do,

that you ain't been
snatched up before?

[chuckles]

I don't know.
I just--

Um, I've been working, so--

Yeah, I just picked up
a little shift at a bar.

Oh, well, then that
answers everything.

You're a bartender.

Bartenders make
a lot of money.

You been making
so much money,

you ain't even worried
about your singing career

being discovered,
right?

No, actually,
it's not a very good bar.

I don't even have
a good shift.

I'm-- It's like
an old person's bar.

[chuckling]

No, I mean,
I just do it
to pay the bills,

and I cut hair sometimes.

You got a dream,
don't you?

You wanna become famous,
don't you?

That's what we do.
We are record producers.

And I'm just so excited.

It ain't gonna cost but
a little bit of money.

We need an assurance
on our part

that the talent is not
gonna get cold feet

in the middle
of the production

and quit on us.

But I know, though,
with a gift

of a voice like yours,

that you would never
get cold feet on us.

I don't--
I just don't have
a lot of money, so--

You know, I understand.
I understand that you say that.

Well, how much
do you have?

Listen, do you wanna be
a bartender

for the rest of your life?

Open up
a whole new chapter...
You know what?

...in your life.
Gloria? Gloria?

If this isn't something

that you're really
comfortable with,

we don't wanna pressure you
into anything.

No, we would never--
Hold on a second.

[overlapping dialogue]

She just said

she doesn't have
any money, okay?

So drop it.

You're very talented.

And I just wanna thank you
for coming today.

And someone
as talented as you

is gonna have
many opportunities.

And when the time
is right--

Thank you.
Thank you.

Um, listen,

I don't know how long
you guys are in town for,

but if you want a place
to hang out or whatever,

it's not great,
but the bar I work at,
it's called the Mayfair.

So, I mean,

you're totally invited
or whatever.

Or you could just hang out.
Thank you.
Actually our, uh,

expense accounts
don't cover alcohol.

Okay.

Okay, thank you. Bye.

Thank you. Bye.

Hey, man, what kind
of shit was that?

I coulda had that girl sold
in less than two minutes.

She was actually talented.

Well, isn't that
the fuckin' point, man?

Just sign somebody else.

Oh, what, like somebody
that's got no talent?

Damn it!
I don't wanna sign
any of 'em anymore!

I just wanna go home
and forget about this
fucking job.

Look, just leave me alone
about it, all right?

I looked at that girl,
and I couldn't do it.

Layton.

Man, where you been?

I been calling you
all day.

Man, listen.
We need our tickets
out of here,

and we need 'em now.

No, no, no.
There's not gonna be
any sales out here.

Man, I don't know
what you done to
these folks here,

but this is not working.

Listen, man,
we were not even allowed

into the first hotel.

All right,
how we supposed to--

No, the banks are
already closed here, man.

No, then you tell
the travel agency
you need them now!

How we supposed
to do that, man?

You ain't even paid us
for last week yet.

Man, fuck you.
[beeps]

All right, he's saying
we gotta deposit

the money in the bank,

or wire him cash.

The travel agency got
the tickets,

but he gotta put up 50%
up front before they'll
release them.

What?
How does that even work?

Man, what do you think
is the grand number of times

I flew on an airplane
before I met you?

I don't know
how this shit works.

Did you tell him
we don't have any money?

That all my money
is tied up in this hotel

and taxis and shit?

I told you, man.

I told you.
I told you at the airport.

I told you
that one-way ticket
was bad news.

You were like,
"No, we gonna make it big.

"We gonna make it big there.

We gonna make so much money."

I mean, I don't have
a fucking dime.

I don't even know
where the hell I am.

Look, man. You're giving
me a state of affairs.

You're not giving
me solutions.

Okay, well,
I don't have any solutions.

I'm out of ideas. Sorry.
Officially out of ideas now.

What about
that girl Gloria?
Fuck that.

Then what do you intend to do,
sleep on the streets?

I have done that
as much as I intend
to do in this life.

You know, I-- I'm getting
tired of this shit with you.

How many fuckin' jobs you got?
You got just one, huh?

How many kids you got?
I got six kids, man.

It wouldn't be fair
to take that girl's money.

Oh...

"It wouldn't be fair."

Man, fuck fair.
You know what,

if you was half as smart
as you think you are,

they'd keep your
motherfuckin' ass
in a zoo.

I lived on the streets
of Houston

for three goddamn
years, baby.

Fairness runs real thin

real quick out there
on the street.

Fuck fair!
There ain't no fair!

There ain't no deserve!
There is earn!

And there is take,
motherfucker!

These people we see,
they wanna change their life
because of their talent.

You think this motherfuckin'
country runs on talent?

Man, you wanna be fair
to someone, man,

you be fair to me!

You be fair--
You wanna pal
around with me

like we friends
and shit.

Well, then be fair
to me, man!

Be fair to the people
that you is around.

Fuck this shit, man.

I'm gonna find me
a goddamn way home.

I'm gonna go down
to that airport,

and I will convince
that bitch

sitting behind the counter

that she sound like
Dionne motherfuckin' Warwick

if it's gonna get me
a ticket home.

That's what I'm gonna do.

You know how I know
you ain't my friend?

Huh?

Yeah, that's right.

You know how I know.

** [rap on speaker]

[line ringing]

[beep]

Hi, you've reached Pam.

I'm going to be out
of town this weekend

at the craft show.

But I will be checking
my messages.

So leave a message
after the beep,

and I will get back to you
as soon as I can.

Thanks.

[beep]

[coins clatter]

** [country on speaker]

Hey, there.
How are you today?
Hi.

Good. How are you?
Great.

What can I get
for you?

Uh, I'll have one
of those.

Is there a girl named Gloria
that works here?

Yeah.

Gloria!

Someone's here
for you.

Hi.

Hey.

So why don't you think
you'd have a better shot
in Chicago?

I didn't say I wouldn't.
I just said that--

You know, I thought
about moving to Chicago

but didn't because...

I don't always think
about making it, you know.

I mean, I'm really focused
on my music right now.

I can't worry
about not being famous.

That's good.

[chuckles]

Look at you,
giving me all these ideas.

I wish I had you
as my manager.

Hey, you guys
do that, too, right?

You don't want me
as a manager.

My biggest fan, and not
a kind word for himself.

Can't have that.

What should we
do about you?

Nothing.

I'm self-deprecating.

All you got to do
is watch.

I guess I should have asked
if you had a girlfriend.

Oh, I'm so sick
of my life right now.

Listen, just--
I'm sorry about all that.

I will work with you guys
if you'll still have me.

Uh, you know, I can find
the money for you somehow

if you-- if you
think it's worth it.

All right.

This is all it would let me
take out for now,

but I can get you
the rest next week.

Okay.

Well, thank you.

See you later.
Bye.

I think
I'm going to be sick.

You fucked that girl,
huh?

Always good to keep
that ace in the hole, man.

[Announcer over P.A.]
Ladies and gentlemen,

it is important
that you keep a close watch

on your baggage
and carry-on items.

Don't leave items
unattended at any time.

Do not accept articles
from unknown persons--

** [rhythm section]

[Clarence]
Hey, would you turn
that music off, please?

[music stops]

Martin!

Martin,
what are you doing?

I didn't even know
you were home.

You okay?

There's some big guy
at the door

that says
he wants to see you.

Look, man, I don't think
I'm going to be going
on any more trips.

Hey, I kind of got
that feeling.

I'm out, too, man.

I just came by
because, um,

I think everybody's out.

One of the other teams

wired Shank
some money last night,

and the check-cashing
place

kind of messed up
the wire,

so they put some digits
in the wrong place.

Shank was supposed
to get 5,000,

and he wound up
with 50 grand.

I don't know if it's true
or if it's not true,

but that office
is empty down there.

Everybody there split

before somebody come
looking for their money.

They all would have
got away clean

except I went down there

to do the right thing
and quit in person,

so Shank,
he give me this

just to look
the other way.

He gave me everything
he owed me, man,

right there on the spot.

He lost another chunk.

See, I made him
give me twice as much

so that you--
you'd get your share.

He didn't
want to do it.

I made him.

I don't have that
cell phone no more, man.

Your friend
seems nice.

I don't really want
to talk about it.

Cool.

That's great.

You haven't called me
in two days.

You're
sleeping in the garage,

and some
weird random guy

is coming to my house
early in the morning,

and you don't want
to talk about it.

That's great.
Thank you, Martin.

Now, if I keep thinking

that we can do this,
you know,

that it'll be fun.

The way you're being
is not.

It's beginning
to bother me.

Well, then,
how'd you ever end up

with someone so boring?

The only thing
that I'm bored with

is the way that you
look at yourself.

I don't know.

I just want you to be happy.

You're not working today?

I started coffee, and there's
bagels in the toaster for us.

If you're not working today,

you want to help me
finish painting these?

Yeah.

Okay.
I'll get the coffee.

The unfinished ones
are over there.

* In the wars

* When the wars

* Were still going,
going strong *

* Weren't
nobody in the wars *

* That was living
very long *

* Asked my teacher
why folks die *

* She said some folks
die for songs *

* That's how they know
they belong *

** [piano]

[Male singer]
* In the wars *

* When the wars *

* Were still going,
going strong *

* Weren't nobody
in the wars *

* Who was living
very long *

* Asked my teacher
why folks die *

* She said some folks,
they die for songs *

* It's how they know
they belong *

* Songs for the veterans *

* In the veteran-like
caravans *

* Who know turtles
are like terrapins *

* So let's hope
that it shows *

* Or at least
hope that it snows *

* We all like it
when it snows *

* Don't mess with me,
don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* You think I'm kiddin' *

* I'm not kiddin' *

* Got my finger
on the trigger *

* So get your ass
behind the singer *

* I'm like Texas,
I'm like Texas *

* I'm like Texas,
only bigger *

* In the parks,
when the parks *

* Were still places
we was loved *

* There weren't nobody
on the lawns *

* Who were stayin' there
past dark *

* Asked my mama
where folks was *

* She said she guessed
they all gone home *

* That they'd all be back
'fore long *

* This song
is for the catamarans *

* Y'all with
super-bad Trans-Ams *

* For what you done
in your churches *

* And for what
you done in bars *

* Just helps you stand up
when it's hard *

* 'Cause that's all
that anthems are *

* Don't mess with me,
don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* There's no hittin',
there's no spittin' *

* I'm not kiddin',
there's no spittin' *

* Got my finger
on the banner *

* On the star-spangled
banner *

* Just like Texas,
you can't mess us *

* God protects us
here forever *

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA

* She said she guessed
they all gone home *

* But they'd be back
before too long *

* She said she guessed
they all gone home *

* But they'd be back
before too long *

* This song is for
your catamarans *

* And y'all with your
super-bad Trans-Ams *

* For what you done
in churches *

* For what you done
in bars *

* It just helps you
stand up when it's hard *

* It just helps you
stand up when it's hard *

* 'Cause that's all
that anthems are *

* That's all anthems are *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't mess with me *

* Don't nobody mess with me *

* There's no hittin',
there's no spittin' *

* I'm not kiddin',
there's no... *