Original subtitles

The truth is I was unsettled

the day that Robert left us to go back to London.

I didn't want him to go.

You know, we'd had precious little time together since Nick was born,

but I didn't want him to make a choice between family and work.

So there was the sea, the sun was shining brightly,

but I just didn't want to be there on my own.

Let's go.

Let's go.

- Sir? Sir? You okay? - You, quickly.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Nicholas?

Oh, God.

Robert? Wake up.

Robert?

Robert, wake up.

Oh, wake up.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Wake up.

Where's Nick?

- What the fuck are you doing? - Where is Nick?

I don't know. He's probably with a friend.

Okay. Well, where is he? We need to find him.

He went to work yesterday, was meant to come home for dinner,

- but so what? He's twenty-fucking-five. - No, no.

He called me at 4:00 this morning and now I can't get hold of him.

- Won't pick up. He won't answer my calls. - He probably called with his arse.

- No, darling. He was in a terrible state. - Oh, really?

- He-- He-- He was sobbing. - Oh, was he?

He didn't speak. He didn't say anything.

- He was just weeping. - Oh, really?

Hi, Nick.

Uh, yes, mate. It's your father.

Uh, give me a call when you wake up. I just want to check you're alive.

Okay. I love you. Bye.

- He knows. - He knows what?

- What have you told him? - Huh?

- What have you told him about me? - I haven't told him anything,

but I intend to.

Well, it's a bit late now, isn't it?

- Someone's beaten you to it. - What do you mean? Who?

Oh, that crazy fucking maniac has got to him.

What? Oh, you mean the father of the boy who drowned saving Nick's life?

- You mean the father of the young man... - Oh, no.

...that you fucked and then denied ever having met,

after he died saving our child.

You mean that crazy fucking maniac?

- You are unbelievable. - Don't you get it?

Our son is in danger, Robert.

I've never heard him like that.

I'm scared.

Oh, yes, you're scared of looking bad, aren't you?

I mean, it was inevitable that he'd find out.

I just wish it would have been me that would have told him.

This is your fault, all right? You're responsible for this.

- It doesn't matter whose fault it is. - I mean, what did you expect?

Well, how did you think that he would react?

I mean, you were his mother. You're responsible for all of this.

- You never gave a shit about him. - You got his password?

You were so caught up with your toy boy

- that you let him alone on the beach... - Do you know his password?

- ...when he couldn't even swim. - What's his password?

He couldn't swim.

- Would you just give me his password? - Well, I don't know his password

'cause I respect his privacy. I give him some basic, decent concern.

What is he supposed to make of you though, Catherine?

I mean, you were his mother.

You were the one who was meant to actually protect him.

You didn't protect him. You just concentrated--

He's smoking again. Did you know that?

Don't you tell me how to parent our son after you've been gone for 20 years.

How dare you?

What the hell do you think I've been doing?

Oh, God. He's lost his job.

What? No, he hasn't.

So where's he been all day when you thought he was at work?

Do you have any idea who he might be with?

Friends?

I mean, I don't know if he has any friends.

Do you?

Um, he mentioned, uh-- He mentioned a girlfriend.

But I haven't met her. I don't-- I don't know her name.

I'm--

I'm not that sure she even exists, Catherine.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Darling?

Is it Nick?

Yes?

Even though Nancy described the events that happened

between Jonathan and Catherine Ravenscroft with incredible detail and accuracy,

she played around with some facts, of course.

That is what writers do.

For instance, Jonathan had traveled to Europe with his girlfriend.

That is a fact Nancy left intact.

Though she changed the reason for Sasha's early return.

Do you remember the solar eclipse?

We get a full one once a century in England,

and it came on a cloudy day.

What a waste.

Very British.

Can't be bothered.

Well, it was my last chance to see one.

We can always try to catch the next one, you know.

- Could travel. - To Madagascar?

- Why not? - That's nonsense.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Stop faffing about and do something about that bloody fridge.

It's driving me mad.

- Hello? - Hello, Nancy.

Oh, hello, Emma. Good to hear from you.

Oh, I see.

Uh, no, no, no, no, I didn't know. No.

Well, I think it's up to them to sort out their differences.

Well, le-- le-- let's not aggrandize things here, Emma.

I mean, we-- we don't know what went on down there.

Oh, no. Clearly your daughter's exaggerating there, because--

Oh, that's nonsense.

No, that's really very extreme, Emma.

I-- No, that really isn't necessary, Emma.

All right, Emma, it's good to talk to you. Thanks for calling.

Goodbye.

What?

What?

- What happened? - That was Sasha's mother, Emma.

Sasha's back in London.

Wh-- When did--

Her and Jonathan had a row, and she's stormed off.

That girl's a mess.

Are you gonna stop that irritating noise or what?

Sasha's aunt hadn't died.

That's not why she came home.

The book was a work of fiction,

but it released the truth from its ballast,

allowing it to float up to the surface.

Scans show that he'd had a stroke secondary to infective endo--

What, he's had a stroke?

- He's had a stroke? - It's quite common

- with people who inject drugs. - Oh, God. Oh, God.

So, will he be okay?

Um, he's stable right now,

but it's too early to determine the extent of the damage

- until we wake him up. - Damage? What do you--

- What do you mean by damage? - Neurological damage, if any.

Wha-- Wha-- What kind of neurological damage?

Motor, cognitive, speech.

But we shouldn't speculate.

At this point, he's stable and that's what we need to concentrate on.

Doctor?

- Sorry, I just have to-- - So, when--

When are you planning to-- to wake him up?

We'll run some new tests later today, and if they look okay,

we'll try and wake him up tomorrow.

- But he'll recover, won't he? Fully. - Yes. He could. Yeah.

You-- You said he could, but what are the odds?

I mean, given your experience with other cases, doctor?

Well, each case is different, and I'm really sorry,

all we can do is wait.

Catherine and Robert keep on asking questions

that they know are fruitless,

but they persist hoping to receive a different answer.

- The one they wish to hear. - Doctor. Doctor.

- I'm really sorry. I do have to-- - Yeah.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

You can-- You can sit with him first if you'd like.

You find yourself wondering if Nicholas has always been vulnerable

to an early death.

He had been saved once already,

but you're frightened that this time he won't be so lucky.

Robert's head is shattered in confusion.

Nicholas being in hospital produces an intense feeling of guilt and anxiety.

But those feelings can't push away the jealousy

he feels towards the young man who had an affair with his wife

and then saved his own child.

A martyr who had emasculated him forever.

He also thinks about his conversation with Stephen Brigstocke

the night before.

The man's humility and simplicity,

and his immense understanding and compassion.

And how the only thing Stephen and his wife had asked for

was to meet the boy who their son had died saving.

- Found it? - Yep.

- You good? - I mean--

So, I've already put in your username and password.

Just tap help center, how do I delete my account,

and then delete your account permanently.

All right. It's asking me why do you want to delete your account?

What should I say?

Just put anything. It doesn't matter.

All right, I will choose concerns about my privacy.

It's telling me this deletion will be final.

Yeah. It's a shame, you know.

Some of my best work.

Reenter your password.

"Please confirm."

"Are you sure you want to delete your--"

I was sad letting Jonathan's Instagram account go.

But it was time to begin tidying up. To wipe my fingerprints away.

It's gone.

Yeah.

All done.

Easy.

- That's for you, Tommy. - Cheers.

Can buy yourself some new friends.

- Hello? - Mr. Brigstocke.

Uh, this is Robert.

- Yes. - Robert Ravenscroft.

Uh, is this a convenient time?

Oh, of course, Mr. Ravenscroft.

Um, I'm afraid I'm calling with some rather sad news.

Nicholas is in hospital.

Oh, that's terrible. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Is he-- Is he okay?

Still early to be certain but he appears to be stable.

Oh. Well, may I ask what-- what the problem is?

Yes.

Uh, Nicholas has been struggling with, um, addiction...

- Bye. - ...for quite some while.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

Yes, it's-- It is rather difficult.

May I ask, um--

Would it be possible for me to go and visit Nicholas at the hospital?

- I mean, if you think it's appropriate. - Yes, of course you can.

Um, he's at East Acton Hospital in, um-- in intensive care.

Oh, thank you.

Would it be--

Would it be possible to go as soon as, um, well, a bit later this evening?

By all means. I-I'll be very pleased to see you as well.

Thank you, Mr. Ravenscroft. Thank you.

Nicholas is in my prayers.

- Goodbye. Please take care. - Thank you.

I was surprised by how easily the pieces fell into place.

The boy is a junkie.

Of course he is.

And the father, the irrelevant dimwit,

he had just served me the meal on a platter.

All I had to do was to feast on it.

Ha!

Of that day on the beach,

I remember it was very bright, and it was very hot.

Nicho--

You! You!

And I remember feeling lonely.

And I also remember thinking what a patient mother I was,

and the guilt I felt for thinking that.

And that was the first time that I saw him.

And I wondered how long had he been there, sort of staring at us.

And I felt very self-conscious. I felt exposed somehow.

And I thought that's an expensive camera for someone so young.

I mean, he must have been taking some photographs of us by then,

but I don't remember him actually doing it.

Robert doesn't allow you to be any place near him.

So you take turns sitting with Nicholas.

In a way, you are relieved not to see him.

You have no room to think about him.

All you want is to be with your son,

and every moment is precious.

Hi, mate.

- Hello? - Hello, Catherine?

This is Sarah Fincham from human resources.

Oh. Hello, Sarah. Yes. Uh, how can I help?

I understand there was an incident in the office yesterday.

Simon says he doesn't want to make a formal complaint.

Uh, nevertheless, we are obliged to record that you physically attacked him.

It will have to go in your file.

I see.

And I'm sorry, Catherine,

but we can't allow anyone to be above our disciplinary procedure.

So we will have to look into the allegations

made by Mr. Stephen Brigstocke, 'cause they are serious.

- Are they? - I'm sure you can understand that?

Yes. Yes.

Is there anything you'd like to say at this stage?

Uh, no.

Well, I'm going to sign you off work for a week to start with,

- just for now. - Mm-hmm.

- Stop the trolley. Check his breathing. - Catherine? Uh, are you there?

Yes. Yes, I'm-- I'm here.

I understand you've been under pressure at work.

It's not work. I haven't been under pressure at work.

Well, it's good to hear that.

Okay, so, should I sign you off sick?

Yes, please.

Look, I did wonder whether it might be helpful

for you to talk to someone about managing your anger.

We could help with that, pay for counseling.

Someone independent, of course, and confidential.

How does that sound?

- Would that be-- - I'm sorry, I can't talk at the moment.

I'm at the hospital.

Oh, God. I'm sorry. Is everyone all right?

No, no. Everything's not all right.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I--

Yes. Okay. Thanks very much.

Bye.

You know that your much-cherished reputation

has already been crushed.

That nothing will ever be the same for you again.

And you don't care.

I decided to wear Jonathan's deodorant.

I was already wearing Nancy's cardigan.

The three of us would restore the balance together.

Hello.

Um, I'm looking for Nicholas Ravenscroft.

Hello.

I'm here to see, uh, Nicholas Ravenscroft.

Hello.

I-- I'm here to see, uh, Nicholas Ravenscroft.

Hello.

I'm here to see Nicholas Ravenscroft.

That's a good boy.

Jump. Jump!

Did I flirt with him when I saw him looking?

Did I do something that he might have misconstrued as a signal?

I don't think that I did.

Let's get some supper.

You hungry?

But I have to admit that that little smile,

that little connection, it did give me a boost.

And as I walked away from the beach, I felt him looking at me from behind.

Your whole office must have read the book by now,

but it doesn't matter anymore.

Whatever happens, that part, at least, is over.

You know that if Nicholas survives, there will be no more secrets.

He will know everything.

Let me double-check and get back to you.

Okay. Cheers. One minute.

Here you go. Thanks.

- Hello. Can I help you? - Nicholas Ravenscroft.

Sorry, I didn't quite get that.

I'm here to see Nicholas Ravenscroft.

Oh, yes, Mr. Ravenscroft did say you were coming.

If you follow me, I'll take you down.

Now, I just have to warn you,

Nicholas is currently attached to quite a lot of machinery,

so it can be a little bit frightening when you first see him.

Okay? But he is stable now.

Hello. I've got Nicholas's grandfather here.

Thank you.

- Hello. - Hello.

Thank you.

He's in the last bed on the left.

Thank you.

I was about to take everything away

from Catherine Ravenscroft.

My heart raced,

my ears thumped with anticipation as I approached my goal.

And Nicholas was more than halfway gone already.

I took him there without laying a finger on him.

He wouldn't feel a thing.

Quite a nice way to go, actually.

Better than drowning.

All he needed now was a little nudge.

I didn't care for consequences.

The only thing that mattered

was for Catherine Ravenscroft to suffer the way that Nancy and I did.

Oh. Here are the keys.

- Thanks. Your father's here. - Sorry?

- Your father. He's with Nicholas. - No, my fa--

What are you doing? He can't be in here.

What are you doing?

Get away from my son.

Get away from my son!

Are you okay? Don't move. Calm down.

- Your father just wanted... - He's not my father.

- ...to check on your son. - Who do you think you are, coming here?

I have given you every opportunity.

I went to your house to talk.

- I only wanted to see how Nicholas was. - You didn't even open the door!

She can't be in here.

- You haven't returned any of my calls. - I need some help.

- You need to come with us. - No, you need to come with us.

- You need to calm down. - He's trying to hurt my son.

We should start making calls.

Let people know what happened.

I should call Sasha first.

It's only right that she's the first person we call.

I don't want her hearing from anybody else.

Hello, Emma.

It's Nancy Brigstocke. Would it be possible to speak with Sasha, please?

And do you know when she'll be back?

I understand, but this is important, Emma.

If you would just listen to me, please.

We have some very distressing news.

Jonathan is dead.

That--

That Jonathan is dead. That's what I mean.

He drowned in the sea in Italy, saving a child.

You do that.

Mmm. Thank you.

What did she say?

Sasha was out, but she'll let her know what happened.

Anything else?

She's sorry for our loss.

Nothing else.

She said she had to go.

We never knew whether Sasha's mother told her daughter

what happened or not

because we never heard from them again.

Something had sent Jonathan's girlfriend, Sasha,

running home to her parents, leaving Jonathan alone in Italy.

Something happened there that caused her mother to make that angry phone call.

Nicholas was happy to sleep by himself

so long as I kept the door open between us

so he could see me if he woke up.

And once he closed his eyes, he always, always stayed asleep.

And I clearly remember this swell of happiness that evening.

I realized that I was truly relaxed,

that everything had been fine after all.

I was enjoying my time alone with Nicholas and with myself.

And I decided to finish the evening

with a nice glass of wine on my terrace.

If you could look straight ahead for me please?

It had been such a long time since a woman had shown me concern.

I liked feeling her hands on me, taking care not to hurt me,

- being careful with my pain. - Pupil's pulse at 3-mil.

Thank you.

And her voice was gentle too.

Her concern for me was real, and I was grateful for her kindness.

Okay. There you go.

- How are you feeling? - Fine, I suppose.

I'm a bit rattled.

I can imagine, dear. You suffered quite a blow.

That woman is like my husband.

I know what it's like to feel attacked like that.

All vital signs are normal.

- Give me a shout if you need anything. - Thank you.

Take care, Mr. Stephen.

Thank you.

You're done.

You're all right.

You're gonna be a bit sore for the next couple of days.

I'm gonna get you some tablets for the pain.

Can you get me something to help me sleep?

- Just in case. - Sure.

Hello? You've got a visitor.

I am so sorry.

I-I heard what happened. I just came as soon as I could.

I-I know what my wife did, and I am appalled.

I am so, so sorry.

It's not your fault, Mr. Ravenscroft.

She was shocked, I suppose, to see me there.

You didn't tell her that you'd invited me?

We-We don't-- We don't really speak.

I know-- I know that, um, that's odd considering how ill Nick is,

but I'm-I'm--

I'm struggling to understand why she did what she did

or why she didn't even tell me.

I came a long way by bus

because I-I really wanted to see Nicholas.

I-I know it's what Nancy, my wife, would have wanted.

She-She would have loved the chance to get to know the boy

whom my son gave his life for.

Then-Then why don't you come again?

- Do you really mean that? - Yes. Yes, of course.

Nicholas would really want that.

Uh, if you feel nervous at all, please don't be.

It would be a wonderful gift for him.

That-That is thoughtful. Yes. I-- I'd like that very much.

- Thank you. - These are the tablets for the pain.

Take two.

And I shouldn't be doing this, but these will help you sleep tonight,

but only take one.

Very well. Thank you. Yes. Hmm.

Well, you've been very kind to me. Thank you so much.

No worries. Get home safely.

Thanks.

Uh, I-- No, I-I-I really should go.

- I'm very tired and, uh-- - Yes, of course.

Everything had become more complicated,

and for a moment I thought that I had to rely on fate to bring justice.

It was possible that Nicholas Ravenscroft would slip away all by himself,

with no need of my intervention.

He had a stroke, the nurse had said.

She also said that he might survive,

but that he could be severely impaired for the rest of his life.

That was attractive, but it wasn't enough.

I didn't want to give Catherine Ravenscroft the opportunity

to play a new role as the devoted mother

selflessly taking care of her impaired son.

No, I wanted her to suffer the ghost of absence.

Only death is irrevocable.

Only then could I kill her.

I thought that I had lost my opportunity.

But then, his father, such a feeble creature,

- had handed me the golden keys. - Doors opening.

All I had to do was to pay poor Nicholas another visit.

Doors closing.

Scusi. Can I just get a glass of white wine to take to my room?

Certo.

I smiled, yes.

Because I was embarrassed, and I didn't want to appear unfriendly,

and I felt self-conscious knowing that he knew I was alone.

I wasn't used to being on my own anymore.

And I certainly wasn't used to being looked at like that.

His camera, his intense attention.

It did make me nervous, but I have to admit it also made me excited.

Maybe I'll fantasize about this moment later.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

This is where you were when the police came

to tell you about your son's death.

Sit down.

I'm going to make some tea first.

You should fix that.

Builder's?

I don't care.

Your book is, uh, it's extremely detailed.

I didn't write it. Nancy wrote it.

She was a great writer.

Well, she managed very accurate descriptions of the places.

We went there, remember?

We went to the place where it happened.

Still, it is remarkable

how much she was able to reconstruct based on a handful of pictures.

That is what great writers do.

They take fragments of reality and weave them together

in such a way that they reveal a greater truth.

Sit down.

Yes.

It is truly remarkable how your wife was able to write

so convincingly about so many things

without having been there when they happened.

She was remarkable.

Right.

Now, I can start.

It's time for my voice to be heard.