All language subtitles for ghosts.2021.s04e04.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab[EZTVx.to]

Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm waiting to see

if that branch with
the crack falls.

How long
have you been waiting?

Mm, 23 years, but I
think today's the day.

Nothing prepares one
for the sheer boredom

of endless purgatory.

We could start a rumor.

Ooh, we haven't started
a rumor in a while.

Mm.
Can it be devastating?

Oh, absolutely.
Mm.

But who should it be about?

Hey, guys.

I just got back
from an epic trip.

I went to "Buda-pesht."

You may know it
as "Buda-pest,"

but in "Buda-pesht"
it's "Buda-pesht."

And it was the Buda-best.

- Uh-huh.
- Can't wait to tell Donna

all about it.

I'm gonna see her next week.

Right, Donna,
your island paramour.

Man, this new power has
really opened things up for me.

I never realized how bored I was

just sitting there
for 40 years, yeesh.

Anyway, nice to see you guys.

Good to be back.

Good luck with your,
uh, branch there, Sass.

Today could be the day.

Let me know what happens.

Ah.

Random thought, but, uh,

what if we made the
rumor about Pete?

Let's make it a doozy.

All right, "Getting
Your Groove Back

After a Breakup,"
here we go.

Yes, this article
shall be the salve

to the lingering pain

of my separation
from Nigel.

"Number one:

take a trip somewhere fun."

Okay,

well, that one
is obviously out.

"Number two: reinvent yourself
with a bold new wardrobe."

Oh, boy.
Guessing that

- didn't go over well.
- Wait, let me see, uh,

"Enjoy a decadent meal,
join a rec league

and meet new people,"
yeah, these aren't helping.

Another great article
from the biased Living media.

Well, that's it.

Looks like I'm gonna have
to quit my job.

I'm-I'm sorry, job?

You have a job?

I was keeping it secret
so Mom and Dad didn't freak out,

but yeah.

I've been working remotely
for the last three months

as a financial analyst
at Mahoning Capital.

Apparently, Trevor has
been working remotely

as some sort of
financial analyst.

What? How?

I got an identity
on the dark web,

applied online and got the gig.

From there,
it was easy.

Sending in my reports,

crushing chats
in the company Slack.

It's honestly
a great time

for a ghost to have a job.

So he got an identity
on the dark web.

How did he even get through
an interview?

I said I needed
a written interview

because I have ADHD,
which isn't technically true,

but I also lied about it
in college to get drugs,

so there is a history there.

So why must you quit this job?

Because my boss

is demanding our team attend
a mandatory in-person retreat,

which obviously I can't do.

It sucks.
Also, it's just rude.

A work thing on a weekend?
People have lives.

- You're dead.
- I'm talking about

other people.

Should I get a job?
Would that get my groove back?

Now, a good rumor must be
surprising yet plausible.

- Mm-hmm.
- In life, I once spread a doozy

about Mamie Fish
having a back nipple.

- What about Pete's hair?
- Hmm.

Maybe we tell people it's a wig?

Ooh.
Or it snaps in place
like a Lego piece?

It does look oddly removable.

Yeah.
I guess that's what
his island girl Donna's into.

That's it. Donna.

What about Donna?

Oh, no...

Oh... Sorry, actually,
it's nothing.

It's not really meant
- for you to hear.
- No. No, no, no, no.

Thor can keep secret.

Tell no one the baroness died

in season finale
of Bodices and Barons.

I haven't seen that yet.

Is excellent, you will enjoy.

Now, what about Donna?

Okay, fine.

So, rumor has it, Pete's
Caribbean girlfriend Donna

doesn't exist.

Whoa.

Peter made the whole thing up.

- I can't-- it's very sad.
- It's so sad.

- It's sad.
- So sad. It's so sad.

But remember,
Thorfinn,

mum's the word.
Mm-hmm.

Thor promise. Is secret.

Sort of like how Baroness died
at hands of own sister Penelope.

Thorfinn!
Is great twist.

You will love.

Okay, I have great news.

I just Slacked with
my boss Brett, and he is down

to have the work retreat
here at Woodstone.

What? Trevor wants
to have his work retreat here.

How would that even help?

- They won't be able to see him.
-
True,

they won't be able to see me,

but they will be able
to see Jay being me.

And now he's suggesting that
you somehow pretend to be him.

No.

No way.

Wait, how would that even work?

Well, they don't know
what I look like,

and I can just tell him
what to say.

Or tell you
to tell him what to say.

Yeah, Jay could wear

one of those
Bluetooth earpieces.

I feel like douchey
Wall Street guys do that.

Yeah, we do.
What is going on?

Why are you so on board?

I'm-I'm not pretending
to be a ghost.

No one is asking him
to pretend to be a ghost.

I'm simply asking him
to pretend to be the person

that a ghost
is pretending to be.

What's going on, gang?

Oh, Trevor's trying to get Jay

to...

I'm sorry,
what the hell is this?

What? Oh, this?

You know, after

you all departed,
I finished that magazine article

and I was taken
by tip number nine:

"New do, new you."

Hey, hey. Sam. Hey.

Sorry, Isaac d-did something.

It's not important.

"Not important"? The old Isaac

would be offended
by a comment like that.

But the new Isaac says,
"Long hair, don't care."

Sam, please.

Having this job
has made me feel alive again.

I love being back in
the mix with my people:

fun, cool go-getters,
instead of these

dead lame-o's.

No offense.

No offense taken.

- All good.
- Ugh. I really hate this.

Jay, this job means
so much to Trevor.

- We could at least try.
-
Also,

I didn't want to make
my finance job about money,

but if you do this,
I'll split my bonus with you.

And he's offering to split
his bonus with us.

How much?

Enough to repair the fountain.

He's talking
fountain money, Jay.

Okay.
Fine.

Yes.

See? It all worked out.

Oh, stop it.

But I'm just not sure this

sells "Trevor Lefkowitz."

I didn't use my real name.

I picked something
hard to google

and impossible to forget.

What name did you use?

H-Hey, guys,
it's me, Michael Jackson.

As you all know,
my name is Brett,

aka the Brettinator.

I gave him that nickname.

Welcome
to our team meeting.

I thought it was important
for us to get together IRL,

get some face time

to see if Maggie can
finally take down Dave.

Hey-yo!
Ooh.

You guys know I'm engaged.

Nobody cares, Dave,
this is happening.

Classic Maggie. I love it.

So she's harassing him.

I guess that's progress?

It's all good.

Uh-oh, MJ,
you're not on the phone

with HR, are you?

Uh, no, I'm on
a business call.

Stocks.

"Earnings call,
dolla-dolla bills, y'all."

And tell him to raise the roof
when he says it, that's key.

"Earnings call.
Dolla-dolla bills, y'all."

And Trevor says to
raise the roof when you say it.

Earnings call.

Dolla-dolla bills, y'all.

Ah!
- Hey, raise the roof.

By the way, Michael, sick job

with the
Dreamtek merger.

How did you reach the valuation?

That... is a great question.

How did I come up
with the valuation

for the Dreamtek merger?

I ran a DCF
with a Monte Carlo sim

to factor in volatility.

Uh...

Mmm.

Oh, you know.

I ran a, uh, a-a-a DTF
down in Monte Carlo.

DTF?

Sounds like me this weekend.
Am I right, Dave?

Lock your door, Dave. Maggie's
had a lot of white wine.

You guys, I got big news.

Did you hear about Pete?

Thor told me that
his Caribbean plaything

Donna isn't real.
He made her up.

What? Why would he
do that?

Oh, I'm not that surprised.
That's his kink.

He likes 'em fake, huh?

Pete's girlfriend is fake?

Pete's girlfriend
is fake.

Pete's girlfriend is fake.

Pete?
From compliance?

Yep. That's the one.

They have a kid together.
I thought.

Nope.
Kid's fake, too.

Uh, but I made
a major life decision

based on Pete
bursting into my wedding

saying how meaningful
his relationship with Donna was,

and you're telling me
he made it all up?

Pretty much.

I have to be alone
with my thoughts.

Oh.

Yes! Pete with arrow in neck!

He has fake girlfriend!

That is most pathetic, Father!

Yes, is very embarrassing!

Which is why
you must keep secret!

Why would you say
that I made up Donna?

Pete.

Just rumor going around.
Everyone saying so.

But better
question is,

why you listening to Thor's
private yellings with son?

Where is this coming from?

Donna is real.
She's my girlfriend.

Oh, there you are.

Ow!

What was that sound, Father?

Bjorn miss incredible moment!
Will fill in later!

What was that for?

For your
wedding day spectacle

that was rooted
in pure fiction.

I left Nigel at the altar
based in part

on your tale
of this wonderful "Donna."

You fooled me
with your pitiful fantasy.

Okay, this
has escalated.

I may look laid-back,
but this has my dander up.

I kind of feel like
he's stepping on my thing,

but we don't have to
get into that right now.

Isaac, I would never make up
a story like that.

Donna is real.
You've got to believe me.

You've gone too far
this time, Peter.

Long hair... do care.

And tell Jay
he needs to do a better job

selling my anecdotes.

Trevor thinks you could seem
a little more enthusiastic

- about his stories.
- Okay, first of all,
that's way too much salt.

And also, he's got to give me
something to work with.

That Pauly Shore thing
went nowhere.

"Nowhere"? We shared
an ice cream in Montauk.

Who is Pauly Shore?

A once-in-a-generation talent,
and we went splitsies

on a pint of rocky road,
and somehow,

Jay can't even
make that interesting.

I got to get back in there.
Hey, do you think

I could tell them that
the innkeeper lady's into me?

Think it might buy me
some cred with the gang.

He's not wrong.

Okay, fine.

I guess I could be
a little lonely up here,

running this place
by myself.

Your character does not
need a backstory, Sam.

Sorry, I was chatting up
that hot innkeeper.

I think she's got
a little thing for me.

Take a number, MJ.

She's been giving me eyes
all afternoon.

Really?

- Is no one safe?
-Okay,

best restaurant
in the city right now.

Oh, Le Cirque.
Say Le Cirque.

Trevor says it's Le Cirque.

Ah...
what's he doing?

It used to be Le Cirque
20 years ago,

but now I'd say
it's Maxfields,

Carbonara,
or Tom and Joe's.

Yeah, but those places
are impossible to get into.

- Yeah.
- Not if you know the chef.

Okay, he pulled that off, but,
Sam, you got to come get him.

We need the earpiece back in.

Uh, uh, Jay.
Um, MJ, Michael Jackson.

I can't remember how you said
you wanted your steak cooked.

Medium-rare.

Well, actually,

could you come show me?
Because...

I'm all alone up here,

and I don't get to talk
to many people

since the mill closed.
Times have been hard.

Is she doing
a Southern accent?

You don't have
a character, Sam.

Sure, I'll be right there.

Ooh.

Okay,

can I say what
we're all thinking?

I am obsessed with MJ.

He rules.

Wow,

- they really like Jay.
-
Only because I spent

the last month
laying the groundwork.

They don't like Jay.

They like Michael Jackson,
aka T-Money.

What's crazy is,

before this retreat,

I expected Michael
to be so lame.

What?

And old.

His references on Slack
were so dated and cringe.

I know, he's always
talking about that

weird ice-skating rom-com
The Cutting Edge.

- Yeah.
- That's a great movie.

Forgive me for being cultured.

I was sure he was
gonna be, like, 70.

Totally wrong.

Yeah, it turns out
he's not some

weird old geezer after all.

Geezer?

Don't listen
to them, Trev.

Thor think Le Cirque
very cool.

Whatever. Screw this.

I got the first course
for y'all.

It's a corn chowder
just like Meemaw used to make.

That was before the war,

before the winds of change swept
through our little farmstead.

You know, I was out,
but I'm back in.

My girl's painting a picture.

Hey.

Thor and Alberta
told us what happened.

Are you
doing okay?

If it makes you feel better,
it's not your fault.

I'm just really charming
and likable.

Jay.
I'm just quoting
the Brettinator.

I just feel like such a fool.

I thought
this job was

my chance
to relive my glory days,

to pick up where I left off,

but the truth is, it's too late.

The parade has passed me by.

If it help...
parade also pass by Thor.

Did not know
there was parade.

Did you see parade?

Well, you still
have the job.

You could still do
your trading and stuff.

It wasn't about the job.

When I was alive, I was
on my way to being someone,

to making a mark,
to becoming a legend.

But now I'm just some dead guy
that nobody remembers.

Look, Trevor,
here's the thing.

He's gone, Jay.

Can you just let me make
my point?

Who does it hurt?

In my day I see many die
before their time.

Such as Agnar,

who had intestines
ripped out through sphincter.

And Gunhild, who was fed
own eyeballs and beheaded.

I could go on.
Please don't.

Feel like posting
an update, babe?

Trevor feels like he never got
the chance to make his mark.

Because he died so young.

And he's starting to realize
he never will.

And then Thor tell
very relevant sphincter story.

Please convey.

Yeah, I imagine that must be
really hard for Trevor.

Oh, man, now I'm feeling bad

for the ghost that wanted
to sleep with my sister.

I just wish there was
something we could do.

I think I might have an idea.

Name of sphincter victim
was Agnar,

in case
have trouble recalling.

Peter, can we talk
to you for a moment?

Sure,
but I'm pretty cheesed off.

I'm gonna figure out
what sick, twisted person

started this rumor,
and I'm gonna slap them.

With my words.

Using constructive conversation.

We have

a confession to make,
Peter.

We were the ones that started
that rumor about Donna.

What?

Why would you do that?

We were bored,
and it seemed fun.

But why me?

Well, to be honest,
I think we might've been

a little jealous
of your power.

We're very happy
for you,

but it's not easy hearing
about your escapades.

And then the "Buda-pesht"
of it all,

kind of felt
like you were asking for it.

Ah, darn it.

I got so caught up in my hectic
boundary-crossing lifestyle,

I didn't take time
to think about

how my travel talk affects
the housebounds.

That's what I call
regular ghosts.

- Cool.
- It can't be easy

for Donna either,
dating a 100% free-range.

That's what I call myself.

Well,
that notwithstanding,

again, what we did was wrong,
and we are very sorry.

A-And don't worry, we will
tell everyone that we were

the ones that spread
the vicious rumor.

Yeah, man, I'm sorry.

Thanks, I appreciate it,

but I feel
like the damage is done.

I mean, how can I prove
that Donna's real?

She can't come here.

You guys clearly
can't go there.

I'm the only one with the almost

magical ability
to move between different--

Okay, yeah, I'm hearing it now.

Ooh,
this is a great retreat.

From the highs
of getting wasted

with you all last night
to the lows of Dave

wimping out
and staying faithful

- to his fiancée.
-
Nice shirt, Dave.

Do they make that
in a men's version?

Maggie call Dave woman
in most humorous manner.

I'd like to say
a few words.

You're the man, MJ.

Cool, glad they love Jay.

And just keep
listening.

It's true, I am the man.

But it's only because I had
the best mentor.

A legend by the name
of Trevor Lefkowitz.

What?

He taught me
everything I know about

finance
and hot chicks

and underrated rom-com
The Cutting Edge.

Trevor Lefkowitz?

You mean T-Money?

You know him?

We all know
Trevor Lefkowitz.

- They do?
- You do?

Sorry.
Can I get you guys anything?

Hey, what happened
to your accent?

Oh.

That was my twin sister
Daisy May.

We were separated at birth,
but now

we run an inn together.

She's a laid-back country gal

and I'm a go-go city slicker,
but somehow it works.

Who is this for, Sam?

Anyway, how do you guys
know T-Money?

Well, we don't
know him personally,

but we know the legend.

Back in the day,

Trevor gave his pants

to a junior trader named Pinkus

during a hazing ritual
known as the Run of Fun.

True hero move on Trevor's part.

And Pinkus was forever grateful.

When he started his own
firm, he banned hazing,

and then passed the story
down to his mentees.

They passed it
down to us.
Aw.

T-Money changed the game.

That's incredible.

He was hot, too.
Mm.

It just keeps getting better.

How's that for leaving
a mark, Trev?

We still do
the Run of Fun to this day,

but now it's a fun tribute
to Trevor and his legacy.

They don't like you,
Trevor.

They idolize you.

Wait, how could Trevor
be your mentor?

Wouldn't you have
been a teenager

when he died?

Oh, he was a family friend,
and, uh,

I was very advanced.

Like...
The timing works.

On the count of three.

One, two, three.

T-Money!

♪ And I say hey-ey-ey ♪

♪ Hey-ey-ey ♪

♪ I said hey... ♪

Trevor looks so happy.

Good for him.

That shirt really hikes up
when he's running, huh?

Wonder if they make
that shirt in lady version.

Wait.

I'm going in.

What?

My hair looks too good

not to be flowing in the breeze.

♪ And I say hey-ey-ey ♪

♪ Hey-ey-ey ♪

♪ I said hey ♪

♪ What's going on? ♪

Well, Pete, I did
a little research for you,

and I managed to find
some articles about Donna.

She's real, all right.

See, I told you.

Wait, why are there
articles about her?

Because she sort of
murdered her husband

and fled to the Caribbean.

Really?

Oh, shoot.

Yeah, there's actually
an episode of a show

called Vicious Vixens that
delves into the whole situation.

You guys want to watch?

Uh, no, we don't want
to watch an episode

about Pete's psychotic
murdering girlfriend.

Play it.

NARRATOR [on TV]: They called
her the Slaying Mantis.

Ooh, that's clever.

A cold-blooded killer.

Whoa, a pitchfork?

Didn't see that coming.

Neither did Gerald, apparently.

Do you know Pete?

The guy with the arrow
through his neck?

Yeah, what about him?

Rumor has it, his hair
is actually some type of wig.

Interesting. I would buy that.

Some are saying it may even
be made out of Lego.

Did you guys start
that rumor, too?

Oh... yeah.

We didn't...
we didn't know

if the Donna rumor
would-would get traction.

So we started
the hair thing as a hedge.

What a sad loser.

Seriously! It's like,

get an afterlife, you freak!

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