Original subtitles

What, you may ask yourself, is a mild-mannered

antique shop proprietor

doing dressed like a finalist in

the Miss Primitive Universe Pageant?

As you may have guessed, this isn't exactly

downtown New York City or downtown Earth

or even downtown our dimension.

How did we get here? Long story.

How do we get home?

Well hopefully the answer is inside this temple.

Unfortunately, the way home isn't the only thing inside that temple.

( screeches )

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

Turtles, count it off!

1, 2, 3, 4!

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Mutant chain reaction ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Livin' underground ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Ninjutsu action ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ It's a shell of a town ♪

Turtles, count it off!

- One! - ♪ Live by the code of the martial arts ♪

- Two! - ♪ Never fight unless someone else starts ♪

- Three! - ♪ Always stick together no matter what ♪

- Four! - ♪ If all else fails, then it's time to kick butt ♪

- ♪ I love bein' ♪ - ♪ I love bein' ♪

♪ I love bein' a turtle ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

Turtles, count it off!

1, 2, 3, 4!

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ There's no one better ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Watch out for Shredder ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ They're like no others ♪

- ♪ Turtles! ♪ - ♪ Those teenage brothers ♪

- 1, 2, 3, 4! - 1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

( echoing ) ♪ Turtles, Turtles ♪

( hammering )

I can't thank you guys enough.

If it wasn't for you,

I might never have been able to reopen the shop.

Yeah, but if it wasn't for us,

you'd still have the first shop.

100 bucks for this thing?

It doesn't even have a monitor screen.

And what's with the weird floppy disk?

Hmm? Bleh.

( hums )

( gasps )

( whistles )

( grunts )

I'm tellin' 'ya, it should go in the front of the store.

Get your head out of your shell,

it'll look way better in the back.

Aah!

Here, Don, let me give you a hand with that.

Whoa!

Oh, that's it.

Weapons, boys, fork 'em over.

But what if the Foot attack

or the Girl Scouts or...

You can survive without your weapons for one day.

( clears throat )

You know what?

You're right, it should go in the front.

( growls )

( sighs )

At last, the O'Neil family portrait

can assume its rightful place once again

Who's the guy next to your dad?

Him?

Oh, that's my Uncle Augie, August O'Neil.

( chuckles )

Uncle Augie was a real character,

a head for figures and a heart for adventure.

( grunts )

And then suddenly he'd just show up out of the blue...

( groans )

Then one day he just disappeared for good.

( shouts )

You want a piece of me, you little garbage-eatin' maggot?

I hate bugs.

And from the looks of it, you hate bone china teacups,

porcelain figurines and Depression glass, too.

Oh!

You two, away from the breakables.

Garbage detail, now!

- Yes, ma'am. - Sorry, ma'am.

What is this stuff?

Just a bunch of junk that got damaged in the fire.

Oh, this still looks good.

I don't believe it.

What is it?

It's a puzzle cube that used to belong to my uncle.

I can't imagine how it survived the fire.

( gasps )

( shouting )

( screaming )

Ow.

Huh?

Where are we?

Sure don't like Midtown.

Or anywhere on Earth, for that matter.

Here, let me help you out.

No really, I'm fine, Raph.

I can do it...

myself.

( chuckles )

So you think some Utrom clown

hit the wrong switch on his Transmat?

No, this felt different.

The Transmat was a whoosh.

This was more like a shift.

If I had to guess, I'd say Uncle Augie's puzzle cube

acts as some kind of dimensional gateway.

I got the heady science of whoosh versus shift,

but after that, you lost me.

The theory goes something like this.

We're all made up of atoms, and atoms are mostly made of empty space.

So you could theoretically have parallel universes

all occupying the same space

but vibrating at different frequencies.

A slight shift of atoms, and presto,

you're in a whole different dimension.

( buzzing )

Okay, okay, Donnie, you're making my head buzz.

It's not just you, Mikey. I hear it, too.

We all hear it.

Aw, great. More bugs.

Show yourself, you lousy little gnat.

Uh, Raph, you're gonna need a bigger fly-swatter.

Oh, crud.

( grunting )

Raph, look out!

Whoa!

- Raph! - Donnie!

No!

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

Bugs, why did it have to be bugs?

Oh, sure.

You can survive without your weapons for one day.

Raph, look.

There's some kind of manmade structure down there.

When you're through sightseeing,

how about helping me kick some bug butt?

Let's see, an insect's exoskeleton

is usually thinnest right at the joints.

And I should care because?

Just swing me up, and you'll see.

( grunting )

( shouting )

( grunts )

Don, you all right, bro?

Where's Raph?

Did I mention how much I hate bugs?

We'll get you down, bro, just hang on.

Like I got a choice.

I spotted some kind of tree house down the river a ways.

We should check it out.

Maybe someone can tell us more about where we are.

You guys up for it?

( groans )

Or down for it?

Okay, but no more flyin'.

♪ Here we go again, way in over our heads ♪

♪ All the odds against us, another fine mess ♪

♪ Laughin' in the face of danger ♪

♪ What else can you do ♪

♪ It's kinda crazy ♪

Ow!

♪ The stuff that life will throw at you ♪

♪ But wherever we are, whatever may come ♪

♪ No matter how hard it gets the day will be won ♪

♪ 'Cause we will stand together ♪

♪ Sister and brother ♪

♪ In this world you've got to beware ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

Would it be too cliché to say "cowabunga"?

In a word, yes.

♪ Wherever we are, we'll find our way home ♪

♪ Whatever may happen, we're never alone ♪

Whoa, April, where'd you get those moves?

I don't know, something about this place

just brings out the jungle girl in me.

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

This is it guys.

Hello?

( voice echoing )

Anybody home?

Hmm, maybe termites?

If they're anything like that overgrown flying cockroach,

I don't want to know about it.

Where do you think you're going?

I'm not afraid of bugs, tough guy.

Don't be scared, bro, jungle girl will protect you.

Hey, I ain't scared of nothin'.

I just hate bugs.

You mean like that one crawling up your back right now?

What, where?!

Gotcha.

Hey!

Can't say much for the decor,

but it's got great ventilation.

( gasps )

This was my Uncle Augie's.

Are you sure?

I'd recognize it anywhere.

Look.

So you'll always find your way back to us.

April, look at this.

This is my uncle's handwriting.

He was here, in this dimension or whatever it is.

The puzzle cube must've transported him here just like us.

"Day 96, my shelter is barely holding up

against the attacking swarm.

I fear this may be my last entry as my life

is in constant jeopardy."

( screeching )

We know that tune.

Look sharp, guys.

Back off, scuzzball.

Raph, no!

If you make them mad, they'll just fire their...

stingers!

Good one, Raph.

Raph?

I...

hate...

bugs.

Oh no, Raphie!

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

Donnie, is he...

He's paralyzed.

If these are anything like Earth hornets,

the effects should only be temporary.

( screeching )

Look out!

Hyah!

( grunts )

Whoa!

( screeching )

Huh? Uh-oh.

Let's see how you like a taste of your own medicine.

( screeches )

( creaking )

Whoa!

( shouting )

Abandon tree house!

( shouts )

Ah!

( grunting )

( roars )

Hyah!

You go, jungle girl.

High school gymnastics.

( groans )

Feeling back to your old self, bro?

Bugs...ah.

Bugs...

must...

pay!

Definitely back to his old self.

Guys, I found something!

Or my uncle did, anyway.

There's a temple somewhere to the northeast.

Here, listen.

"Day 130, I followed the river until

I came upon a gray stone temple."

Magnificent.

"Deep within a chamber at the center of the pyramid

was a large puzzle cube,

identical in shape and form

to the device that transported me to this savage realm.

It may be my only way home if I can just determine

how to correctly position the cube.

Day 145, I believe I've finally cracked

the secret of the puzzle cube.

Unfortunately, since my first journey to the pyramid,

the giant hornets have begun constructing

a nest on the side of the structure.

The journey will be dangerous,

but I must try to reach the cube.

I leave behind this journal and my compass pendant

should any other poor soul end up in this infernal place.

Heaven help you, heaven help you all."

That's all he wrote.

The rest is just calculations.

Looks like your uncle was trying to decipher the cube mathematically.

We need to get to that temple

and find out what happened to him.

If we can piece together his notes, we might be able

to program the puzzle cube to send us home.

Then it's settled, we head out for the temple

first thing in the morning.

Your uncle's calculations seem to indicate

a logarithmic correlation in an otherwise stochastic deviation.

Of course!

The algorithms follow a variation on a Fibonacci sequence.

Do you guys come with subtitles?

Guys, look.

What I wouldn't give for a can of bug spray,

a really big one.

I think I know how we can get past them.

Hornets and other wasps have a strong sense of smell.

We need to disguise our scent.

Phew! Do we have to disguise them that bad?

I think you may be taking this jungle girl thing

a little too seriously.

Ah!

I sure hope this is worth having Mikey downwind. Phew!

We're about to find out 'cause here they come!

They're leaving.

Olfactory principle proven.

Wow.

Looks like the hornets have tunneled their nest right into the temple.

So how come no one's minding the eggs?

These aren't eggs, they're pupae,

second-stage development, and from the looks of them,

I'd say they're nearly fully formed adults.

Weapons ready. Let's move out.

Huh?

Nice going, Mikey.

( shrieks )

Everybody, move!

( screeching )

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

They're gaining on us.

All right, stinkbugs, this time it's personal!

( shouting )

There's too many of them.

We need to find another way out of here.

Guys, over here.

( grunting )

Phew.

Boy.

Huh?

There it is, our ticket home.

Huh?

It's Uncle Augie's handwriting.

So he did make it back here.

That's odd, the settings on the cube

don't match the coordinates in your uncle's journal.

Wherever it sent him, it wasn't home.

You're right.

Something must've happened while he was setting

the final coordinate, but what?

( growling )

You had to ask.

It's the queen.

I don't care if it's Queen Latifah,

you guys need to get that cube fired up.

( screeches )

( grunts )

Hyah!

( groans )

Leo!

( growls )

Almost...there.

Agh!

Oh...

Oh, not again.

( growls )

Get away from him...

you witch!

( grunts )

April, time to go.

( screeches )

( shouting )

Whoa!

( groaning )

Phew! What died in here?

Whoa, I'm gone two seconds, and suddenly everyone's covered in crud?

So, uh, let me get this straight,

you defeated the giant hornet queen all by yourself?

Like I said, something about that place just

brought out the jungle girl in me,

not that I'm in a big hurry to go back there.

But I will find you someday, Uncle Augie,

I swear it.