Original subtitles

[funky music]

[dramatic music]

[bright music]

[dramatic music]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Shut your flapper and listen.

-Okay? -[man] Sir, I--

Your sweet talk ain't going to work on me, Honey.

I've heard it all.

You have until the Conor count of three

to apologize for wasting my time.

Or I'm going to hang up.

-[man] Sir, as I mentioned-- -One.

-[man] Sir, please-- -Two, three.

-Okay. Bye. -[phone clicks]

That was close.

Everything all right there, Conor?

Listen to this.

Some wild boy tried to add

dark roast coffee to our lunch order.

I know. Don't freak out.

I caught it just in time.

-Mh-hm? -These guys,

always with the hard sell.

Holiday season or not, we serve plain, regular coffee.

Always have. Always will.

Anyway, bro,

I had a chance to skim your

presentation for tomorrow, and it's a little--

I, uh, I know what you're going to say.

-Yeah, it's bland. -It's, uh--

[dramatic music]

What?

I don't understand.

I thought, if anything, this was too hot

for the bedroom, boardroom.

Although, honestly,

I would be a little bit afraid

to try some of these moves on my wife.

Really?

I don't get it. I went buck wild on this thing.

I mean, some of the text is in red, for heck sake.

Okay, fair point. Yeah.

Just keep...

Forget what I said.

Keep carrying on. You do, you do you.

-My, man. -[Conor] Oh, cool.

Oh, sorry.

-Hey. -Yeah.

-Very cool. -Very cool.

You're the guy.

My man.

Bland. [scoffs]

Yeah, right.

[keyboard clacking]

[curious music]

[paper thuds]

[whispers] "Spice up the presentation or you're

not getting the promotion."

-[hand thuds] -[dramatic music]

[paper thuds]

-[Conor] Ho, ho! -[car engine revs]

That gosh darn, son of a...

Gun.

I'll show him.

I'll show all those...

-Boneheads! -[car engine revs]

[jazz music]

[door clicks]

[door thuds]

Kristina?

[suspenseful music]

Hello?

[seductive music]

[door clicks]

[door thuds]

You would not believe the day I've had.

[Kristina] Oh, baby.

Let me help you with that.

[sighs]

You read my mind.

[seductive music continues]

Agh!

[groans]

[Conor] Woo!

Wow!

Oh, my God!

That...

Was amazing.

You...

You are amazing.

Uh-huh.

I wish Mr. Buechler had a ticket to that spicy show.

Oh, really, really hot stuff.

Well done.

Ah. Speaking of.

Apparently, he says I need to, "Spice up my bland

presentation on sector subdivisions tomorrow."

I know.

What a bonehead.

They're all boneheads.

That's what I decided to call them, by the way, boneheads.

Isn't that funny?

I mean...

What?

Look.

I love you.

I love how smart and funny,

and hardworking you are.

It's just that...

Maybe.

Sometimes.

Oh, I don't believe this!

You're not bland.

Not at all.

Just a little...

A little what?

Square.

[shudders]

Square.

[Conor] Square.

What's next, Kristina?

Am I not, uh...

Am I not handsome enough for you now, either?

No, of course you are.

You look like a movie star.

Do I?

Which one?

Gary Busey.

Ugh.

What would really rock my world

is if we did more than just hold hands.

[scoffs]

What else is there?

We used to do a lot.

Elaborate, please.

-Well, there was that time-- -No, you know what?

Forget it.

You're not making any sense.

-[television clicks] -[television program dialogue]

That's it?

My show is on, Kristina.

[television host] ...has the largest natural lake

in England,

but it is the hub of a virtual cornucopia of antiques.

Join me tonight as I uncover--

We shouldn't go to bed mad at each other.

I'm not mad.

[television host] This is Antique Connoisseurs.

[television host] This edge right here?

That is a clear indicator

that this was actually

hand crafted in the American Colonial style.

So sadly, this piece has no value whatsoever.

-[man] Shit! -[television host] Yes!

Okay, so swearing on TV is apparently cool now?

[television host] Thank you anyway for bringing it

on the show today, Mr. Williams.

It really is a lovely piece.

We'll be right back.

[sighs]

[female announcer] Are you ready for the party

of a lifetime?

It's time to bust out of your boredom

box and call Frankie Freako's Fun Time Phone.

Just call 1-900-555-FREAKO,

and fasten your freak-belts for a wild night

with the ultimate party animal.

[sighs]

Calls are only $1.99 for the first outrageous minute.

And 99 cents for each additional minute.

[Frankie cackles]

That number again is 1-900-555-FREAKO.

Call now. If you dare.

Okay. No, this is too wild.

Even for a not-square-at-all guy like me.

[Frankie] What are you, square?

[sighs]

[female announcer] Make sure you get your parent

or spouse's permission before calling.

[television clicks]

I'm not a square.

[Conor] Okay. So I know you're going to say, this is,

this is not your grandma's type of presentation, is it?

-[festive music] -Okay. Well, uh.

I would tell you to

hold onto your seats because this next slide is a, uh.

It's a doozy. How do I do this?

[projector clicks]

[Conor] There we go.

All right. What do you see on there?

Square.

Just your classic, boring old, not boring.

I shouldn't have said that.

Squares are not boring.

That's a perfectly fine,

I like that square.

I can see your faces. You guys like it, too.

Um. But it's what the square represents.

Right? That's what's, uh...

[sighs] Important.

It represents

metamorphosis, change.

[festive music continues]

It's a, uh,

it's like...

[distorting sounds]

Um...

Sorry. [chuckles]

Should have brought my notes.

Um, it's...

Well.

[dramatic music]

It's...

Pretty Freako! Yeah!

[Conor screams]

Oh!

[panting]

Woo!

[sighs]

Okay.

[sighs]

Any questions?

[whining]

[Mr. Buechler] Oh.

Uh, hello.

You come here often? [chuckles]

Mr. Buechler,

I am so sorry.

You should be.

Sorry for knocking it out of the park.

-[pot thuds] -[pot shatters]

No fooling.

That was the best presentation in the history

of the western branch of Magnet Technologies.

-What? -Yeah, that bit

where you started sweating and screaming at the same time.

It's a really powerful button on the whole thing.

Really masterful storytelling.

Okay.

Listen, I shouldn't be telling you this

without approval from the board, but--

-Whoa! -[body thuds]

You've got the promotion.

-Yes! -Whoa! Settle down.

I don't want Sandy over there to find out she didn't get it.

Speaking of secrets, are you available to help me

this Saturday with something?

With what?

Long story short, head office got wind of some of my crazy

creative accounting,

and so I need to do some creative recycling to

clean up the trail of crumbs, if you catch my meaning.

Oh.

Okay.

I love recycling.

It's a date. Woot.

No, no it's not.

Just got to come in, shred some documents.

No big deal.

So long as it's you

on that camera doing it.

[Conor] Okay, cool.

See you Saturday, my man.

[dark music]

[bag thuds]

[trunk thuds]

Okay, well, I think that's everything.

If all goes well at the gallery,

I should be back Sunday evening.

Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone, okay?

I don't know how I could.

I double checked the locks on the gun cabinet in the basement.

I was kidding.

I know you'll be fine.

And besides, I triple checked them.

The guns are locked up tight.

Well,

I don't even want to tell you

what I got planned for the weekend.

Might be too spicy for your sensitive ears.

Oh, really?

Can you give me a hint?

Let's just say I got big dinner plans.

You're ordering pizza.

Yes, but...

It's going to be half cheese and half--

Half other cheese. Wow.

How did I know?

[car door thuds]

Well, I guess

I'm just going to do a bunch of really square things like,

oh, I don't know, rearrange the condiments.

Dust the living room.

That's great, honey. Just be careful

dusting around my sculptures, okay?

[window cranks]

-[Frankie chuckles] -[dramatic music]

[window knocking]

Hey, you know anything about this Frankie Freako guy

they've been advertising on TV?

You call a number?

He's like a little gremlin guy that likes to party?

No, I haven't.

You shouldn't call numbers like that, though.

Remember what happened

when you called that Freddy Krueger hotline?

You couldn't sleep for weeks.

Yeah, he was just so mean to me.

I was trying to think of comebacks.

Just stick to reruns of Antique Connoisseurs.

I'll see you Sunday.

Okay.

Have a fun trip.

Conor?

Have a freaky weekend.

[car engine revs]

[sophisticated music]

Philadelphia soundtrack, you're dusty.

[sophisticated music continues]

So lame.

[bottle mists]

[table squeaking]

Muah!

Ooh, boop!

You get one, too.

[sighs]

What a beautiful sculpture.

[television host] As it stands right now, I would

estimate that this clock is...

Worth nothing.

-[woman] Oh. -[Conor yawns]

[television host] We'll be right back.

[yawns] Oh, my. 8:30?

P.M. no less.

That is late, even for a Friday. [chuckles]

[female announcer] Are you ready

for the party of a lifetime?

It's time to bust out of your boredom box and call

Frankie Freako's Fun Time Phone.

- Just call 1-900-555-FREAKO, -No, no, no, don't do it.

- and fasten your freak belts, -Don't do it!

for a wild night with the ultimate party animal.

Calls are only $1.99 for the first outrageous minute.

And 99 cents for each additional minute.

That number again is 1-900-555-FREAKO.

[phone beeping]

[thunder crashes]

Hello?

[Frankie] Hello?

[whispers] Is this Frankie?

[Frankie] Yeah, buddy!

Are you ready?

[suspenseful music]

Ready for what?

[thunder crashes]

[Frankie] To party, my man!

Are you ready for the Freako Show?

Yes or no?

[dramatic music]

Yes! Yes, I'm ready!

I'm ready to party!

[Frankie] Then fasten your freak belt!

'Cause here we go!

[alarm rings]

[groans]

[suspenseful music]

[Frankie chuckles]

[eerie music]

-[suspenseful music] -[can crunches]

How did this get here?

What the H?

-[yelps] With caffeine? -[dramatic music]

-[can crunches] -[body thuds]

So many freaking pops.

[suspenseful music]

This place is a pigsty.

-[eerie music] -[Conor screams]

Oh, my God.

[Conor] This sucks.

This room sucks now!

Oh, my God.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, my God.

What kind of monster would do this?

[unknown thud]

[faint rock music]

[unknown clattering]

[Frankie cackles]

[bullet ricochets]

Oh, yeah! Crank those tunes, my man!

You.

Oh, my God. It's you.

Yeah! Ha ha ha!

What is this?

[rock music volume increases]

Hey!

[Frankie chuckles]

[Conor] Turn that music off!

That is enough.

-That is enough! -[stereo clicks]

[dramatic music]

Hey.

Thank you.

-You guys can-- -[bullet ricochets]

No! No!

You need to get out of here.

Get out!

You're not supposed to be here.

[Frankie] Oh, really?

Show him, Boink.

Yep. Shabadoo.

[lever cranks]

[photos whirr]

Well, you seemed pretty happy to party with us last night.

Have a look.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No. This can't be happening.

[Frankie] Relax, buddy.

You called us, remember?

We're here to help you loosen up.

Have a pancake.

-[Frankie grunts] -[Conor's face smacks]

Take 'er easy there, pilgrim.

-[Boink chuckles] -[Conor] Listen,

-you little freaks. -Freakos. [chuckles]

You have until the Conor count of three

to get your little butts out of here before I call

the authorities.

[Frankie belches]

One.

-[stereo clicks] -[rock music]

Two.

[gun fires]

Oh, God!

Yee-haw. [chuckles]

[mechanical arm whirs]

Shabadoo.

[Frankie chuckles]

Time to get freako!

[chuckles]

[dramatic music]

[Conor grunts]

[body thuds]

-[grunts] -[fists thud]

[dramatic music continues]

[gulps]

Give me that phone.

-[head thuds] -[Conor] Ow!

What the heck!

Bombs away! [chuckles]

Oh no.

[panting]

[Frankie] Fire!

[slingshot thwips]

-[groin thuds] -[Conor grunts]

[Frankie laughs]

[slingshot thwips]

-[body thuds] -Bullseye!

[chuckles]

[suspenseful music]

[sculpture shatters]

-[mechanical arm whirs] -[chuckles]

Ah!

[sculpture shatters]

[Frankie chuckles]

[Conor sobs]

[lips smack]

Ha! Mm-hm.

[suspenseful music]

That was a priceless work of art!

You monster!

Uh-oh. Shabadoo! [screams]

[face thuds]

[face thuds]

It's a masterpiece!

[face thuds]

[face thuds]

[Boink choking]

Apologize.

[face thuds]

[face thuds]

Apologize to Kristina. Now!

[face thuds]

[Boink choking]

Shaba.

Don't.

Boink!

[body thuds]

Oh, no. Boink!

[dramatic music]

[body thuds]

[Frankie] No, no, no, no, no.

Boink! He's not breathing.

There's no pulse.

Boink. Come back.

[Frankie] No, no, no, no.

No, no, no!

[crying]

Boink!

I love you.

I'm sorry, I...

I didn't realize!

I didn't mean to kill him!

You,

monster!

[sobbing]

[whines]

[groans]

[cries]

[Boink farts]

[eerie music]

[Boink chuckles]

I got you.

Shabadoo.

Oh, come on!

-[Conor grunts] -[body thuds]

[Boink laughs]

[Frankie chuckles]

[dramatic music]

[sculpture shatters]

[Conor screams]

[sculpture shatters]

Oh, my God.

[chuckles]

That's it!

[dramatic music continues]

[Conor] Whoa!

This ends now.

[rock music]

-Hey! -[stereo cuts out]

For the last time.

You have

until the Conor count of three

to vacate the premises!

[head thuds]

Oh yeah?

One.

Hit it, dude.

-[stereo clicks] -[rock music]

Two!

-Three. -[dramatic music]

[Frankie gasps]

-Uh-oh. -Bad move, Bucko.

[Frankie groaning]

[Frankie screaming]

[Conor screaming]

[body thuds]

[birds chirping]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

Ah!

[groans]

Where are you?

Come out here, you little freaks.

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

Yeah?

Hi, Conor, this is Mr. Buechler.

I'm at the office right now.

Wondering where you are.

I'm so sorry, Mr. Buechler. I, uh.

[sighs]

I can't come into the office today.

There's been, uh.

Issues, here. And, uh.

[Conor] I have to deal with them right away.

Really?

Everything okay?

I don't know. Honestly.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I was really counting on you to come in and help me today.

I know.

[Mr. Buechler] You know what I'll do?

I'll call Sandy.

[Mr. Buechler] She's always been there for me.

You know, Sandy would make a great manager,

come to think of it. Hm.

I'll be there in eight minutes.

Cool.

-[phone clicks] -[phone beeps]

[dramatic music]

[grunts]

[tires screech]

[door clicks]

[door clicks]

[ominous music]

Over there.

What?

[Mr. Buechler] It's all there, ready to go.

Okay, here we go.

[Mr. Buechler] Yes, that's it.

That's it.

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

[Mr. Buechler] Focus, Conor. Put the files into the shredder.

Almost there.

Yes.

[phone rings]

-[phone rings] -What?

-[Frankie mumbles on phone] -Who is it?

I know it's you.

I know it's you, you little freaks.

I'm gonna get you.

I'm going to make you pay for what you did.

[Frankie chuckles]

-[many phones ringing] -[dramatic music]

What do you want?

Why are you doing this?

Why?

Why? Why? Why?

Why? [grunts]

[box thuds]

[sobbing]

[gentle music]

[whispers] Hey.

It's okay.

Is this hell?

You mean the bad place?

Like, the worst place in the world?

Yeah.

[sighs]

I don't know.

Let me make a few calls.

[sobbing]

[printer screeches]

-[dramatic music] -[Conor groaning]

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, it's okay.

-[door clicks] -It turned into a demon

and blasted me head first into the TV.

When I woke up, the freakos were gone,

and that's when you called me.

Mr. Buechler, you did not need to come down here.

No, I insist.

If one of my employees has a problem, it's

my job to help them fix it, no matter how personal.

Just so I'm clear, there's three of these freakos?

A little rock and roll party guy,

a dork who does machines and a cute little cowboy lady.

-Is that right? -Ugh.

-She wasn't very cute. -[Mr. Buechler] Hm.

Sounds like a little cutie to me.

[curious music]

[door clicks]

Wow.

You really did a number on this place, Conor.

Me?

Well, no offense.

I'm not seeing any evidence of freakos anywhere.

You don't believe me?

How did my house get so destroyed then?

How did I get shot in the neck?

Is it possible you shot yourself in the neck?

That is insane.

I did not do all of this myself.

Hey.

It's only insane if you refuse to believe it.

Ow.

Ow! Ow, Mr. Buechler!

Stop it.

I will prove it to you.

Those sneaks are around here somewhere.

I know it!

[suspenseful music]

[sighs]

[Mr. Buechler] We should really head back to the office.

Those documents aren't going to shred themselves.

-Oof! -There he is!

-[suspenseful music] -[Frankie chuckles]

There! After him!

[Boink whines]

I'm going to find these creeps and kick their little heads off.

I heckin' swear.

This better not be some kind of trick

to get out of shredding those documents.

I heckin' swear as well.

[Frankie cackles]

[Frankie panting]

You know, there's an internal review of

fourth quarter financials Monday morning,

and I would love for that box of records

to disappear before then.

Oh, jeez.

[door creaks]

[Conor] The guns.

They took all the guns.

[upbeat music]

-[Dottie chuckles] -[Mr. Buechler] Oh.

Hello, Miss.

[Dottie] Hey there, Cowboy.

[Dottie] How about you come give me a smooch?

[Dottie] Mm. [chuckles]

[Dottie chuckles]

[upbeat music continues]

Mr. Buechler, look out!

-[leg squelches] -[Mr. Buechler screams]

-[eerie music] -[Mr. Buechler groans]

Oh, my God!

[Dottie chuckles]

Oh! Oh!

Watch your step, sucker!

[groans] Help me!

-[wire tightens] -[dramatic music]

[Mr. Buechler sobbing]

[Frankie giggling]

[foot squelches]

[Conor screams]

[Mr. Buechler groaning]

[Mr. Buechler groaning]

-[gun fires] -[bullet ricochets]

[Mr. Buechler groaning]

[dramatic music]

[Frankie] Oh, boy.

I guess you'll be sticking around for a while.

[Frankie chuckles]

Oh, bit of a sticky situation, eh?

[Frankie chuckles]

Laugh at this, freako.

-[gun fires] -[mirror shatters]

[guns firing]

[gun firing]

Oh, Mr. Buechler.

Are you okay?

No.

I got to get you some help.

[Mr. Buechler] Yeah.

You're right, Conor.

I think this is the bad place

you were talking about before.

-Hell? -Yes.

[gentle music]

You're bleeding. You need a doctor.

Whatever.

It's fine.

I'll be fine.

No, you won't.

That's insane.

Only if you refuse to believe it, my good man.

Now, go.

Get those freakos.

Knock them out of the park.

I'm coming back for you.

I am going to shred those little jerks.

And when I'm done,

we can go to the office

and we can shred those documents.

I'd like that.

So would I.

[Conor] Boop.

[Mr. Buechler sighs]

I always knew this would happen.

[eerie music]

[phone ringing]

[phone beeps]

[Kristina] Hello?

Oh, Kristina.

Oh, thank God it's you.

[Kristina] Who else would it be?

Dan Aykroyd?

What?

No, I don't know. I guess not.

[Kristina] Is everything all right?

You sound stressed.

[Conor] Everything's fine.

[sculpture pieces clatter]

[Kristina] What was that?

It sounded like a sculpture falling apart in your hands.

[Conor] It wasn't.

Look, I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye.

[phone thuds]

[suspenseful music]

[Frankie, Dottie and Boink snoring]

[Conor] Time to die.

Little freakos.

[Conor] Agh! Come on.

On the Conor count of three.

One.

Two.

-[machine whirs] -[dramatic music]

[gun thuds]

Rise and shine! [chuckles]

Now that we have your attention,

it's time for a little show and tell.

[Conor choking]

[gentle music]

[television narrator] They're smart,

they're mischievous, and they love to party.

For centuries, these fun

loving critters known as Freakos have lived in peace

and harmony on their home planet of Freak World.

Sadly, this time of tranquility

came to an end over 12 freak years ago

when a ruthless Freako named Munch appointed himself

Freak Lord of the entire planet,

overthrowing his fellow Freakos with a vast

army of mechanical Freako Killers.

Once he seized control, Freak Lord

President Munch set to work, enslaving his fellow Freakos.

He forced them to toil day and night, operating a vast

network of phone hotlines and in turn, increasing

the profits of Munch Industries by 10,000 percent.

Huh.

[television narrator] But there were three Freakos in

particular who fought against the power of Munch.

Each possessing a special set of skills.

- Frankie Freako... -Oh, that's me!

Dottie Dunko and Boink Bardo

combined their efforts and invented

a way to teleport between Freak World and our world

using the phone lines as a conduit.

And this is how Frankie Freako's Fun Time Phone

was born.

Through this hotline, our three heroes were able to escape

the tyranny of Munch.

To live peacefully on earth and party

like Freakos should once again.

We've been through a lot, so we really appreciate it

if you didn't rain on our parade.

We're going to party hard and then we'll be on our way.

It'll be like we were never here.

What do you say, Padre?

Hey, buddy,

wake up!

[suspenseful music]

[defibrillator] Shocks advised.

-[defibrillator thumps] -[Conor heaves]

God! Oh, my God!

Oh, what the heck?

Anyways, we got one

night of partying left before we head out.

Are you going to keep making trouble,

or do you want to get freaky with us?

Okay.

You win.

-Let's get freaky. -[defibrillator charges]

[defibrillator thumps]

[upbeat party music]

You got any aces?

Go fish.

If you say so!

-[fish thuds] -[Conor spits]

That's what I call a fish out of water!

Eh, Boink?

[all laughing]

[upbeat party music continues]

-[cans clank] -[both cheering]

Yeah, all right!

[paper crunching]

Hey, great job, guys.

Teamwork. That's what I like to see.

[upbeat party music continues]

[phone ringing]

Oh yeah, Honey, I'm having a great time.

Is that music I hear?

[Conor] Uh, yeah.

Um, we're having, I'm having a little bit of a dance party.

[Boink] Hey, hey! Shabadoo!

Would you keep it down?

I'm on the phone!

How are things over there?

Great, we've moved up the installation date for my show,

so I'll be shipping my sculptures next week.

[Kristina inaudible]

Uh.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course. I, uh.

Oh, man. What time is it?

I have got so much that I've got to do.

I will, uh, I'll talk to you later. Okay?

I love you. Bye.

I can fix this. Yep.

-[sculpture pieces clatter] -[Conor groans]

I can't believe it.

I ruined everything!

What's wrong, my man?

Kristina's sculptures.

-[sculpture piece thuds] -They're ruined!

Her big art show is next week.

She trusted me to take care of the house.

It was the one thing

she needed me to do, and I bunged it up.

Oh, boy. That's a real pickle.

You said it, Frankie.

[Frankie] I tell you what.

Let me and the pals have a look at them.

We're good at breaking stuff,

but we're pretty good at fixing things, too.

-Really? -Hey, we've had a great time

getting freako with you.

It's the least we could do.

[Frankie whistles] Come on, guys.

We got work to do.

I think things are going to work out after all.

[chuckles]

-[curious music] -[Dottie] Here we go.

[sculpture clattering]

Using a hammer.

I never even thought of that.

[Conor] Ah, I think I need to wet my whistle.

[curious music]

What?

These are all we have?

[fridge door thuds]

Well.

Worth a shot, I guess.

[can cracks and farts]

[phone whirs]

Oh no.

I wonder who that could be.

-[phone whirs] -Well, I'm about to find out.

Uh-oh. Shabadoo.

-[phone whirs] -Bad news, I reckon.

Don't pick it up!

[in slow motion] No!

[Munch] Frankie. I found you.

[phone sparks]

[dramatic music]

Get out of here!

-[Conor screams] -[body thuds]

[house hums]

Shabadoo.

There, there, cowboy.

This is bad.

[portal crackles]

[Conor] Frankie!

What is going on?

[Frankie] They found us!

I told you not to pick up the phone!

[heavy footsteps thud]

[Conor screams]

What's in there?

Freako Killers.

President Munch's private army.

[can crunches]

[dramatic music]

Fire.

[lasers blast]

Holy shoot!

[lasers blast]

[hands electrocute]

[door thuds]

[laser blasts]

[Freako Killer] Stay where you are.

[Freako Killer] You're coming with us.

By order of President Munch.

Bring him.

President Munch needs a new concubine.

What? What?

What did he say?

What did he say? Concubine?

What that is?

[body thuds]

[dramatic music]

-[phone beeps] -[portal crackles]

[phone beeps]

[Conor screams]

-[dramatic music] -[Conor screaming]

Where are we?

This is Freak World, buddy.

Or at least what's left of it.

Now that Munch is in charge.

[dramatic music continues]

[henchman] Ha-ha.

Ha-ha.

[Conor] Hey. Give that back.

[romantic music]

[dramatic music]

Stop. Stop.

Stop it, please! No!

-[head thuds] -[Conor] Ow! Why?

[Frankie grunts]

Take her away.

Dottie, no!

[Dottie] Unhand me, varmint!

Damn you all!

[Dottie] Let me go!

[Conor screaming]

[dramatic music]

[door clunks]

Kneel.

Sure.

Hi.

What?

-Mm-mm. -What do you want me to do?

Say something!

Ah, forget it.

Useless.

What button do I press, this one?

[phone ringing]

[curious music]

[phone ringing]

Frankie, my boy.

Uh, I'm sorry?

I'm not, uh--

Frankie.

You really messed up this time.

[Conor] You got the wrong guy.

[Munch] No more games, Frankie.

No one runs from me.

You're mine. You hear me? Mine!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[phone thuds]

[phone thuds]

[dramatic music]

Who are you? You're not Frankie.

You're far too beautiful to be Frankie.

He's a keeper!

-[butt smacks] -Ow!

No! Not acceptable.

Frankie. There you are.

The one and only, hee-hee!

You thought you could run from me?

No one runs from President Munch.

I'm going to make you pay.

And all of Freak World is going to watch you suffer.

I'll never bow to you, Freak Lord!

Maybe you won't, but she will.

[Munch cackles]

No!

Dottie.

Shabba-no.

That's right. Your friend Dottie belongs to me now.

But I have something far worse planned for you.

Crunch.

Bring in the Dial of Doom.

Dial of Doom?

Uh.

What's that?

[candy clatters]

Crunch, show them how the Dial of Doom works.

Uh, me, sir?

Yeah. Give us a demonstration.

Uh, but--

-[candy clatters] -Hurry up!

[suspenseful music]

Uh, okay.

[dial whirs]

My good friend Crunch here built this nifty contraption.

It dishes out punishments

based on how much of a freak you are.

You spin the dial and the computer

scans your level of freakiness

and subdivides that into sectors

Sector subdivisions. Of course.

[Munch] And then it rates you on freakiness.

It's all quite spectacular, I'm told.

Green means you're okay. Red means

you're a total freak show and then you're in trouble.

[dial buzzes]

Too bad for you, Crunch.

That's pretty freaky.

-[bulbs electrocute] -[Crunch babbling]

[Crunch moans]

That's what it does, huh?

Okay, that was pretty nuts.

Okay, well, thank you for that, Crunch.

Uh, take the rest of the day off.

See you Monday?

All right.

Who's next? [chuckles]

[butt smacks]

-Hey! -Trust me.

The pretty one?

Well, too bad.

Step right up and let's see what kind of punishment awaits

that sweet ass.

[Munch chuckles]

[dramatic music]

Give her a spin, hot stuff.

Here we go.

[Frankie grunting]

[whispers] Come on.

I'm so sorry, Kristina.

I failed you.

[somber music]

I love you.

Come on. Come on.

Hurry up.

[grunting] Come on.

Let me help you, buddy.

[dramatic music]

Hey.

[wires flare]

[Frankie] Nice one, Boink!

You think you can do it?

Shabadoo.

[dial whirs]

[Munch moans]

[wires flare]

[Freako Killer whirs]

[Frankie] Yes!

Here we go!

-[dial whirs] -[dial chimes]

What? That tall glass

of coochie-coo doesn't have one ounce

of freak in him?

No, no, no, no!

How could you be so bland?

[dramatic music]

I guess I'm just...

Square.

[Conor laughs]

[lasers blast]

[Freako Killer explodes]

-No! -[lasers blast]

-[glass shatters] -[Frankie chuckles]

[body thuds]

[lasers blast]

Let's boogie!

[explosion]

Yeah. Let's do it!

No!

-[lasers blast] -[Freako Killer explodes]

[explosion]

[dramatic music]

Oh no! Dottie!

[Dottie] Must. Kill. Freakos.

Dottie, you're one of us.

Don't do this!

[gun fires]

Remember who you are.

[faintly] Remember who you are.

You can do it.

-[Dottie whirs] -Shabadoo-it.

[Dottie whirs]

Come on, Dottie.

I believe in you.

-[Freako Killer] Halt! -[dramatic music]

[Dottie whirs]

[Dottie] Get. Down.

[guns fire]

[uplifting music]

[Conor cheers] Yeah! Dottie!

[Dottie whirs]

[Dottie] Let's go, cowboys.

Hm-hm.

Not this time, Frankie.

Not this time! Agh!

-[dramatic music] -[Munch screaming]

What? What?

You don't know how to drive this thing?

Boink. You do machines.

How does this work?

Don't know. Shabadoo.

-[Frankie] Uh-oh. -[Conor] Aw, great.

How are we supposed to get out of here now?

[dramatic music]

Oh no, here he comes!

[Crunch moans]

[lever thuds]

Thanks, Crunch.

[Conor] Hey, Crunch.

[Crunch moans]

Thanks.

Never doubted you for a second.

Love you, buddy.

[vehicle whirs]

[dramatic music]

Slow down, please.

-[groans] -[laser blasts]

Can't this thing go any faster?

They're gaining on us.

[Dottie] Needs more juice, I reckon.

[lasers blast]

[Frankie slurps]

Give me that.

Hey!

[engine whirs]

-[Frankie] Whoa! -[lasers blast]

[tank fizzing]

[engine blasts]

Hold on!

[screams]

[explosion]

[uplifting music]

[Conor screaming and laughing]

[portal crackles]

[wall crunches]

[cabinet crashes]

[chandelier shatters]

[Frankie babbles]

[stereo thuds]

Frankie? You did it!

You got us home!

No, Conor.

We did it. Together.

Aw.

[Frankie groans]

Look, buddy. I know it's been pretty crazy

this past little while, but I got to tell you something.

What is it, Frankie?

You can tell me anything.

[ominous music]

We haven't been completely honest with you.

The truth is...

[portal whirs]

[chainsaw cranks]

[Frankie] It's Munch!

He's gone full Freak Lord!

You can't escape me!

Shoot him, Dottie! Shoot him!

[guns fire]

I'm coming for you!

No, no, shabadoo!

-[Conor] Freak Lord! -[Munch] Huh?

[seductive music]

Come and get me, hot stuff.

Oh, yes.

Yes, the pretty one.

[dramatic music]

I'll be back for you.

First I'm going to have a little treat.

[chainsaw cranks]

I'll be waiting for you.

[Munch chuckles]

[chainsaw cranks]

[dramatic music]

[Munch] Where are you? My sweet.

-[chainsaw cranks] -[box thuds]

[chainsaw cranks]

[upbeat music]

[Munch] There you are.

My sweet treat.

[Conor] Come and get me.

I'm right here.

I don't know what this plan

is, but I hope it works.

-[dramatic music] -[chainsaw cranks]

Hey.

[chainsaw cranks]

[metal clanks]

[gun fires]

-[Munch screams] -[blood squelches]

[Conor laughs]

I got you!

Now that, my man,

was pretty freaky!

You look so stupid right now!

You rube!

You cad! Ah, you should see your face!

You look so dumb!

-[dramatic music] -[Munch chuckles]

Did I say rube?

I meant Rube Goldberg.

[Munch chuckles]

Oh, oh. There's no escaping me, my sweet treat.

We got to do something!

[Munch chuckles]

[chainsaw cranks]

What have we here?

[Munch chuckles]

Hey. Shabadoo.

Huh? Shabadoo?

[metal clanks]

[dramatic music]

[Munch] No.

No.

[Frankie roars]

[Frankie roars]

[Munch screams]

[skull thuds]

Wow.

Home run.

[Conor chuckles]

[Frankie grunts]

[gentle music]

[Conor laughs]

[sighs]

Well, I'm just glad that's over with.

-[upbeat party music] -[Frankie chuckles]

Mm!

I can see why you guys like this stuff so much.

Yeah!

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

-Go ahead. -[phone ringing]

Hello?

[Kristina] Hey, baby.

Things wrapped up early, so I'm on my way home.

Oh.

Uh.

Great.

[Kristina] I'll see you in just under an hour.

Okay, I love you. Bye.

Okay.

So great.

[upbeat party music continues]

What is it, buddy?

She's coming.

We have got to fix this place up, stat.

Let's do it.

Yeah!

[Dottie] Yeah, cowboy.

Yeah.

[cans clank]

[rock music]

[vacuum whirs]

[bags thud]

[television screen shatters]

Shabadoo!

[Dottie grunts]

[rock music continues]

[frame thuds]

[glass shatters]

Good as new.

Muah.

[car door thuds]

[sighs] Perfect.

It's like nothing ever happened.

[eerie music]

Good job, guys.

Shabadoo.

-[Frankie sighs] -[door clicks]

Huh?

[door thuds]

Kristina can't know you're here. Hide!

Let's boogie.

[dramatic music]

Shabadoo!

[Frankie cackles]

You're back!

[curious music]

What happened here?

What do you mean?

Just usual bland and square things

I always get up to around here.

-[dramatic music] -[Dottie] Yee-haw.

Hey! Shabadoo!

-[Frankie screams] -[body thuds]

[Conor chuckles nervously]

[Frankie babbles]

Oh, hi.

Oh, them?

[Conor chuckles nervously]

Uh.

Well,

I guess you could say

things got a little freako.

[rock music]

[Boink chuckles]

[Frankie chuckles]

[body thuds]

[gentle music]

I'm sorry.

I failed you, Kristina.

I couldn't take care of the house

for one lousy weekend.

I tried so hard to do a good job,

but I called that dumb number,

and everything fell apart.

I'm such a failure.

Hey. Hey.

It's okay.

You're going to be okay.

It's fine.

It's all totally fine.

[Conor] What?

Really?

I know Christmas is still a week away, but.

I got you a gift.

The gift of truth.

[Conor chuckles nervously]

I...

I don't understand.

We were roommates.

Dottie and I went to gun college together.

[Dottie] Bingo.

Gun college?

Yep.

She's the one who introduced me to Frank.

Frank?

Yeah. I was going through a bit

an aimless phase of my life, and he really helped

give me a sense of direction.

I guess I was hoping that

he could do the same for you.

For us.

[sighs] Besides,

this one owed me a favor.

Any time, my good buddy.

[Frankie] Ha-ha!

[upbeat music]

[Conor] But your sculptures.

Well,

That was a little side project for the freakos.

Honestly, my work

lately has been feeling really stagnant.

And I just need some inspiration.

I knew these little dudes would deliver.

[Kristina] Those look awesome.

Thanks, guys.

[Dottie chuckles]

[upbeat music continues]

Thank you.

I'm not the one you should be thanking.

[Conor sighs]

I got a better idea.

Hey, guys.

-Huh? -I was thinking,

Why don't you spend Christmas with us?

It's the least I could do.

All right!

We'll get started on the decorations.

-[Dottie grunts] -[staple gun thuds]

[Boink chuckles]

Go nuts. But, uh.

Kristina and I

have a little business to deal with in the bedroom first.

I've been waiting for this moment for so long.

[upbeat music continues]

Tonight,

I'm going to hold both your hands.

I have a better idea.

Freako style.

[Conor groans nervously]

-[rock music] -[guns fire]

[camera shutters]

Merry Christmas.

♪ God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay ♪

♪ Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day ♪

♪ To save us all from Satan's pow'r ♪

[Frankie] Satan? Whoa! ♪ When we were gone astray ♪

♪ Oh tidings of comfort and joy comfort and joy ♪

♪ Comfort and joy ♪

♪ [Frankie] Oh tidings of comfort and joy ♪

[Frankie cackles]

-[rock music] -[Frankie] Whoa!

[Frankie] Oh, yeah! Yeah!

[Frankie] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

[Frankie] Comfort and joy!

[rock music continues]

[Frankie] Oh, yeah! This rocks!

♪ [Frankie] Santa and Christmas and Christmas cookies too ♪

-[rock music continues] -[Frankie inaudible]

♪ [Frankie] Comfort and joy, oh tidings of comfort and joy ♪

[Frankie] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frankie] Hey, have a freaky Christmas.

[upbeat rock music]

[upbeat rock music continues]

[upbeat rock music continues]