Original subtitles

I...

I don't think that was about me, was it?

I should, um... I'm going to go... No, don't go.

Er, let's talk about it, um...

I'm sorry.

I'm not.

I don't regret it. I wanted it.

I love you.

But I think I've been chasing something that isn't there.

I don't regret...you.

I don't regret any of it.

Oh, my God, hilarious.

SHE LAUGH-CRIES

Are...are you all right?

Ohh!

Ugh!

Agh!

Of course I'm not fucking all right!

But you said you'd moved on.

That we were all atoms and you didn't want to stab me any more.

Well, I just threw a carbonara at you, so maybe not, Josh!

The thing about travelling?

I fucking hated it.

It's like Butlins, but hot.

And everyone there was, like, ten years younger than me,

and all they want to do was watch Friends on their phones.

It was supposed to solve everything, you know?

I don't even know what's wrong, but that's what people do, they go

and they eat and they pray and they love and they come back better.

But I just came back the same.

But with Lars, and he was so nice,

and now he's gone!

You didn't just fuck up our relationship,

you fucked up the next one too. OK, that wasn't my fault.

Well, I wouldn't have met him if it wasn't for you, would I?

Look, I do realise I never said sorry to you...properly.

Oh, it's nothing to do with that.

I mean, you cheated on me and then you proposed to me.

And I'd already shagged someone else. And it was my boss!

And then you cheated on me again in front of me.

And I tried to have sex in a fucking sandpit... What?

..and then we just got off with each other.

Why'd I do that? Well, we were both pretty drunk.

It's just muscle memory. Well, yeah, it'd better be.

Cos I'd rather chew glass than get back with you.

No offence. Little bit offended.

Nothing works!

Nothing makes me feel better.

I ju...

Everyone has worked out who they are except me.

Oh...

Hey.

I feel like you're looking for the answer in other people.

But I think you might be looking in the wrong place.

Oh, my God.

You're not Free Willy.

I'm Free Willy.

Why didn't you tell me that before?

I am fucking exhausted suddenly.

Can you clean this up?

You were the one throwing eggs.

DOOR CLOSES Yeah, fine.

Hey.

That was really shit of me.

With the New York thing.

You've been great taking me in, and I'm really...

I've fucked it up.

What have you fucked up?

Everything.

My marriage.

My...

Josh.

Everything.

This is nice. Don't ruin it.

FOOTSTEPS

I feel terrible.

How are you so bushy-tailed?

Maybe I'm just excited. I'm going to do something with my life.

Well, I'm going to sign on, then do something with my life.

Sounds great. Mm.

Last night was good - I think.

You were helpful.

Had to have someone to throw eggs at.

Yeah, but the talking too.

We were both a bit shit, near the end of us.

Especially me. Especially you.

But it'd been over for a long time, partly because...

..we'd just become friends.

Still friends?

One thing at a time, mate.

Today I'm feeling excited about the future.

That's great.

You should sort yours out.

PHONE BUZZES

LINE DISCONNECTS

HE KNOCKS

Oh, I'm sorry.

Not a great time, love. We're just about to go live.

You're more than welcome to join.

I was actually, er...

I was hoping you could put me in touch with Claire.

You've got her number.

Yeah, but after yesterday, I think she might have blocked me.

Well, probably shouldn't go against her wishes, should I?

I really like her. I knew it!

Babe, we should probably get started.

Did she tell you we met her through this, originally?

She was a subscriber to our personal site.

I did not know that.

She may or may not be watching.

Right.

The show starts at three, so you have 60 seconds to put it right.

Er...

Um...

Hi, I'm, um... Camera's there, actually, love.

Oh.

Hi.

Um, I guess you could call me Monica and Eddie's warm-up guy.

Um, I promise this won't take long.

If you're there, you know that I was an asshole yesterday.

Running off on you like that.

I've been getting a divorce and it's been making me crazy,

and what's craziest of all is that it's been blocking me

from being able to see a really good thing.

Aw. Ten seconds.

I love the way you look at the world.

It gives me hope. I-I-I just need one chance.

One more chance to see if you like me as much as I like you.

And to make up for everything!

OK. I'm done.

Well, there are lots of messages, but they're mostly

requests of things they want you to do to me and Eddie.

Yep. Oh, here we are.

Makingupforlosttime69.

She says she'll meet you at 6.30 in that terrible bar.

And Dirty Darby says he wants to see your balls on Eddie's chin.

But you're probably not interested in that, are you?

I don't think so.

Oh.

Hi.

We have to stop meeting like this.

Look, can I say something before we get into anything else?

That sounds ominous. It isn't.

I wanted to say...

..I love you.

Oh.

Wow.

Never said that before.

I know.

But I clearly do.

And, er, I think this all started because you didn't know that.

And I love you.

I-I know. I know you do.

But you starting with that makes me

feel like you've got something bad to tell me.

I do.

Can I go first, in that case?

What the fuck, Josh? What now?

Me and Esther were very drunk and kissed last night.

After you kicked us out.

And it might have gone further if Tiwa hadn't stopped it.

Yeah, well, that's... that's what I wanted to say.

Me and Zack last night.

Not sex, cos, you know, but, yeah.

So, you're angry.

Yes.

But other things as well.

Sad. Jealous.

Hungry, but, y'know, not just cos of this.

Hungry isn't an emotion.

I see what you're doing, you know. You're pushing me away.

Funny how you're suddenly able to talk about feelings.

Not when you're thinking of going on dates with other people.

Oh, yeah. My fault. Always my fault.

That's not what I'm saying.

My fault that you left Zack.

My fault we had sex in Finland.

My fault you spilled your coffee at the airport.

Excuse me? I spilled my coffee? You spilled my coffee.

Like, that was your fault.

You put it on the floor. Maybe this isn't helping. No, I don't know.

If it's still bothering you, why don't we have it out?

Get it all out in the open. OK, fine. Fine!

You are so needy that going out with you is like going out with

a limpet who's catastrophically bad at talking about his feelings.

You don't trust me because we started as an affair.

I don't trust you because you went on a date with someone else!

You've been pushing me away so that I break up with you, so that you

don't have to do it. You've already said that. Well, it's still true.

NO, IT ISN'T!

If I've been pushing you away, it's because...

..there is a part...

..there is a part of me...

..that feels like the people that I sleep with

should treat me like shit...

..and the people that I love...

..I shouldn't sleep with.

Like, maybe that's why it was easier with Zack,

because we weren't having sex.

But with you...

..it's both.

I love you...

..and I...I love having sex with you,

and you're the whole package, and it's fucking...it's fucking...

it's fucking terrify... It's terrifying.

Because I have to show you who I am.

SHE SOBS

Oh, Fola. I...

Yeah, yeah. "Oh."

MUSIC: Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

Is that place new?

Which one?

With the neon.

I think that's been there a while.

Has it?

I think the neon's new.

I think that's why you think that.

New York sounds amazing.

You should totally do it.

And you should check and see how long Citymapper says

it takes to get there.

I don't think they do journeys when you have to get a plane.

Yeah, obviously I wasn't being literal.

And it depends on which airport.

The point just whizzes over your head, doesn't it? Huh.

Strange you never knew

Fade into you

I think it's strange you never knew.

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