Original subtitles

How do human beings, on their worst days,

still manage to get out of bed?

What is it that motivates us to move forward?

Simply put... desire.

For love. Joy. Money. Food. Sex.

Because in the rare moments

when we actually get what we want,

our brains gift us with dopamine,

the neurotransmitter that creates... pleasure.

And, like water, pleasure is essential

to the survival of human beings

even when it seems out of reach.

Incoming.

I have been searching for a vein for an iv on Mr. Bishop

for 10 minutes.

Your turn, Mr. Touchdown.

Dr. Kinney, are you actually asking for my help?

Finally, she sees me in a different light.

So I'd like to consider,

so I think... I think we know what we need to do.

- You know, let's move Mrs. - Arpin post-op into the icu.

We have a bed now that our John Doe is gone.

Could you please tell the chief

that his name was Roman, not John Doe?

I'd prefer not to get in the middle of this.

Thank you, Dr. Nichols.

It's amazing how smoothly a hospital can run

when its procedures are followed by its doctors.

Okay, I'm just going to say it.

What is the deal with Dr. Wolf and his mom?

Take it from a psychiatrist.

There's never a dull moment between mother and son.

Ever.

I am sorry to report that you have...

A twinkle in your eyes.

I like him.

Mrs. Sullivan, your boys mentioned

that you were recently asked

to leave your assisted-living facility.

On account of erratic behavior.

They like their residents sedated,

and I have too much pep in my step.

They also kept finding her entering other people's rooms

at night, and when they'd bring her back to her bed,

she'd get aggressive.

She has taken a real turn since our dad died last year.

Mom, you know it's true.

You haven't been acting like yourself.

We were wondering if it could be grief related.

It's possible.

That can be a wildly unpredictable stressor.

They want me to be sad forever.

That's not true.

I'm going to go ahead and have my team get started

on some cognitive tests.

Do you think that it might be dementia?

It does run in the family.

That's why our gp referred us.

I don't want to speculate,

but we will do everything we can to find out

if this has a neurological cause.

Does that sound good, Mrs. Sullivan?

Mrs. Sullivan is my dead mother-in-law.

Please, call me June.

June. That's a lovely name.

You know, you look

like a younger version of my late husband.

Do you see it, boys?

I think it's the beard.

Always made me weak in the knees.

Mom, just let the man do his job.

Tell me, do you give your mother this much grief?

Have you chosen a specialty yet?

I'm a bit torn between neuro and cardiology.

Oliver.

You're just in time for dinner.

Come. Say hello.

Hi. Tom.

Tom is the medical student that I was telling you about.

From Oxford.

He's visiting for the summer as part of his exchange program.

Well, I'm not giving up my bedroom.

He'll be sleeping on the pullout.

In the office.

You mean dad's office?

You can put me anywhere.

In the attic. Under the stairs. I'm easy.

Just don't touch anything.

You know, go wash up.

I just don't feel like myself anymore.

I swear, I've never been someone

who had trouble getting out of bed.

Lifelong productivity junkie.

But now I just lay there, thinking about him.

I haven't slept in days.

I just don't understand why he won't return my calls.

All I want from him is closure.

I know it's painful.

But, remember, he asked you to stop contacting him.

He drew a healthy boundary,

and the best thing you can do for yourself

is respect his wishes.

I feel like Esther greenwood in "the bell jar."

I remember reading that book and thinking,

"get it together, girl."

And now look at me. I'm totally incapable.

Says the woman who's getting a doctorate

in comparative literature.

You're incredibly capable.

Just going through a rough time.

I hate being this weak when it comes to men.

I always thought of myself as independent.

Like you.

You didn't even take your husband's last name

when you got married.

That's, like, the ultimate feminist move.

I don't recall mentioning that Pierce is my maiden name.

Got me.

I googled you.

It came up when I was researching psychiatrists.

I-I didn't realize you were married to a doctor, too.

Talk about power couple.

Same time next week?

Hey, boys, we spoke to the director

at June's assisted-living facility

to get a better picture of her behavioral issues.

Confirmed that she was kicked out of sunny park

and she went out with a bang.

She and the other male residents

were caught multiple times in flagrante delicto.

I failed Latin.

Aka caught in the act.

Aka June was getting down with Mark, Luke, and John

in the biblical sense. Aka

okay, we get it. June was sleeping around.

With half the men in the community.

And it's a big community.

Not a judgment, just a fact.

Okay, just because June's not showing signs

of cognitive decline yet,

we're not out of the woods when it comes to dementia.

I mean, hypersexuality could be

a symptom of a brain injury or tumor or Parkinson's.

Or bipolar disorder, substance abuse.

There's something going on, and it's not clear

if she's going to be safe if we send her home.

So let's admit her and catch wolf up to speed.

He's going to love this case.

Yeah.

Nichols, can I help you?

I need your thoughts on our

our vestibular schwannoma patient.

You know, the... the... I asked for your

an update as soon as you were done.

I-I'm not done.

- Okay. - Look... look, I

I don't care what you do on your own time,

but when we're... when... when we're on a case together,

I just... I need open... Channels of communication.

Understood.

According to the staff at sunny park,

you weren't entering other residents' rooms

because you were confused.

Is that accurate?

My sons said I was confused.

It's more palatable than saying their mother was having sex.

They don't want to use those two words in the same sentence.

I'm not ashamed of myself.

Okay, then, well, in that case,

would you mind walking me through your sexual history?

How much paper do you have?

Mickey and I were high school sweethearts

before we got married.

I'd say we had a healthy sex life for the most part.

And up until a year ago, he was my entire history.

But now the number of my partners has increased...

Thirtyfold.

Give or take a few.

June,

you should know that some diseases cause hypersexuality.

And that's why we've admitted you to the hospital

so that we could determine the etiology.

I'm not sick. I know my body.

I feel more alive than ever.

Now that my kids are grown and my grandkids are teenagers,

it's my time.

I just wish my sons could get on board.

Sometimes it's hard for us to see our parents

as anything other than our parents.

True.

Who knew erratic behavior was code for hot octogenarian sex?

Honestly, good for June.

She's out there living her best life.

I don't see the issue.

The issue is June isn't just interested in sex.

She's demonstrating compulsive sexual behavior

to the point of pathology.

- Something's up. - We don't know that yet.

But I do agree with the instinct.

We think of disease as deficit,

but it can also present as excess.

Like Parkinson's.

Patients can have excess involuntary movement.

I mean, her exam isn't consistent,

but meds for that can cause hypersexuality.

So can frontotemporal dementia,

which would make her hypersexuality

just a brief reprieve on the road to a grim death.

Huntington's can present with hypersexuality and paraphilia.

Although, at her age, it's extremely late-onset.

Leave it to ericka to specialize in all the ways

that sex is a disease.

Maybe June is just finding herself.

Look, we don't want to pathologize June unnecessarily.

We also don't want to miss any diseases

that could be treatable.

Then we'll get a set of neurodegenerative labs.

Send her for a brain mri.

And a full suite of sti testing.

Just to make sure she didn't pick up any unwanted souvenirs.

Okay. Hold on. Your Sullivan case

reminds me of a patient I had a few years ago.

A guy comes in after a massive car accident

and he's on the verge of herniation,

but somehow we save his life.

Another miracle, courtesy of Dr. Nichols.

Until he comes in for a follow-up,

and his wife is pissed. Something's wrong.

He's eating everything. Like, the TV remote everything.

And he won't stop having sex.

Kluever-bucy.

Damage to the bilateral medial temporal lobes

- in the accident. - Textbook case.

I gave him a neuro referral, and that was all I could do.

No surgery that could fix it.

Do you not think a neurosurgeon should have the dexterity

to handle utensils used by a third of the world's population?

Listen, it's not that I can't use chopsticks.

I just prefer the efficiency of the fork.

Come on, I don't have all day to sit around and opine

and play with my little tools like you neurologists do.

Bathroom's all yours.

If I'm ever in your way, please just let me know.

This is your home.

I don't want to be an imposition.

No, you're not.

If you want, I can show you around.

- Take you to the beach. - Yeah, that sounds nice.

But if your mom's making you play tour guide, then

no, she's not.

I was rude earlier.

This is an olive branch.

Or an Oliver branch.

Anyway, offer accepted.

Beach sounds lovely.

Good night.

- Dr. Wolf. - We got June's results back.

- Nada. - Mri showed

general age-appropriate cerebral atrophy.

- Nothing too specific. - Labs were normal, too.

Even our sti testing was negative. All of it.

Maybe this isn't a disease after all.

Well, we need more time to see how this plays out,

but we can spare her a night in the hospital.

Set her up to see me in the clinic.

- It's a stat page. - From June's room.

There's a reindeer place.

- Thank god. - June?

Nurse portia just went looking for you.

She was talking to us, and then she just stopped making sense.

June, can you tell me where we are?

Underneath the asphalt, there's cats and big

sounds like word salad to me.

Precisely. It's wernicke's aphasia.

- Excuse me. - She could be having a stroke.

Stay calm, June. We're going to lower your bed, okay?

- June? - Deep breaths, June.

- Focus on your breaths. - I don't know.

We need to get her to a ct scan... now.

June, we got you.

Stay with us, June. It's okay. It's okay.

Your mother had a transient ischemic attack,

or Tia, a mini stroke.

The good news is these resolve on their own.

She's already improving,

and she should regain her speech completely

within a couple of hours.

What's the bad news?

A Tia is a warning sign that June is at risk

for having a full stroke in the near future.

To prevent this, we've already started her on medication,

and we're in the middle of a full medical workup.

In the meantime, tell me a little bit about your mom.

What was she like before her personality changed?

Before your father died?

Sweet and kind, thoughtful.

- A fourth grade teacher. - Her health?

She used to have high blood pressure,

but no other major issues,

aside from, when we were in high school,

both our parents got really sick for weeks.

God. Yeah, they had really bad fevers

that came and went.

Dad even had these patchy bald spots for a while.

I'm sorry. Both of your parents were sick,

and neither of you got it?

- And this was decades ago? - Yeah.

I'd like to conduct a lumbar puncture

with your mother's consent.

I think it could illuminate a few things.

Wait up.

- Come on. - Wait.

Aw.

So, I gather from the books in your dad's office,

he was a doctor.

Gp.

Yeah, worked at Bronx general for a long time.

Can I ask what happened?

He died, four years ago.

We were on a camping trip.

I was with him one minute, and the next he was gone.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Feels good to talk about it.

My mom mostly avoids the topic.

Well

you can always talk to me.

If you want.

Transient ischemic attacks can be scary,

but what we really want

to avoid is an actual stroke.

So the spinal tap results will help us zero in on a diagnosis.

You know what they never tell you about getting older?

Doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.

On the inside, you still feel young.

That's why I like sex so much.

It's the one activity that makes me feel young again.

You might be able to chase the same high

with a brisk walk in the morning.

What kind of sex are you having?

Medicine has been my only love for a while now.

So dating and sex had to take a back seat.

A back seat? For how long?

Three... years.

Honey, I spent the last decade of my marriage celibate.

It was so lonely.

Don't make the same mistake.

Especially at your age.

I never meant for it to last this long,

but when you're in a dry spell, it's scary to jump back in.

You just need to find the right partner.

My neighbor Lou was my first after my husband died.

He made me feel safe.

He made me feel beautiful.

I want that kind of guy for you.

Dr. Dang, I hear you're a whiz

at tracking people down on the Internet.

Some say whiz. Others, genius, queen,

the missing face in "ocean's 8."

But, yes, I am your cybersleuthing girl.

I need to find a patient who's gone radio silent.

I did a Google search, nothing came up, and I'm worried.

- What's her name? - Alison Whitaker.

- She's a phd student at nyu. - Common name.

Try cross-checking her with hospital records.

Okay.

She used a hyphenated name on one of her intake forms.

Alison zhang-Whitaker.

Okay, this is weird.

I found her, but, according to Google,

she's a med student at Columbia.

And it looks like she knows your husband.

The spinal tap results revealed

that you have what's called neurosyphilis.

It's caused by an infection

from an untreated case of syphilis from decades past.

The vascular form of neurosyphilis,

which is what you have,

spreads to the central nervous system

and causes a variety of symptoms,

including hypersexuality.

It's sometimes called cupid's disease.

It's not contagious, so you don't have to contact

your sexual partners,

but if it's not properly treated,

it can be fatal.

So everything I've been feeling?

It's the disease.

Our mom has neurosyphilis, which, if

if I'm hearing you correctly, is something you only contract

if you've had syphilis in the past?

- That's correct. - Mom, make this make sense.

Were you cheating on dad?

I loved your father with my whole heart,

and I was never unfaithful.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about your father.

He had a million wonderful qualities and one big flaw.

But when you're married that long,

you ask yourself a question.

Do I want to look across the dinner table

and see a man who loves me and disappoints me in equal measure,

or do I want to see an empty chair?

I chose him.

We had no idea.

I'm so sorry, mom.

There is some good news here.

Neurosyphilis can be treated with penicillin,

and many patients make a complete recovery.

In some cases, we won't be able to reverse

neurological damage that's already occurred,

like the cerebral damage

that likely caused your hypersexuality,

but we won't know for sure until we start treatment.

That sounds like too big of a gamble.

Mom, he said it could be fatal.

It's true.

If the hypersexuality goes away,

we can try libido-enhancing

my brother and I are completely fine with it going away.

It's just not appropriate.

She's 80 years old.

And still a person.

I love the way I am with this disease,

and I don't know how much time I have left on this planet.

Will you please tell her this is a terrible mistake?

That's enough.

This is my decision.

Now, leave me be.

Am I being completely selfish?

No.

Not at all.

I feel like there's this fire inside of me

that's been gone for so long.

I can't put it out again.

Maybe your sons will come around.

We'll see.

You know, I might be able

to help your sons understand you a little bit better.

I want you... To copy this diagram.

We just got an update on the Sullivan case.

Apparently, June said no to her treatment.

She doesn't want to cure neurosyphilis

if that means killing her sex drive.

Why would a woman in her 80s risk her life for sex?

Bold choice, for sure.

Am I the only one who's team June here?

Like, let the woman live.

- And by live, I mean have sex. - I'm on the fence.

Sex is pretty high on my list of favorite pastimes,

right above beating your sweet little butts at cat an

and right below binging k-dramas.

Okay, but what about emotional intimacy?

- That's, like, way hotter. - Strongly agree.

Y'all are so full of it.

What makes pillow talk so great is the sex you have before it.

Look, I'm just being real.

If there's no physical connection between two people,

it's game over.

June has made her decision.

She does not want to be treated.

All I can do at this point is get her sons on her side.

Do you want me to talk to them?

I can be very intimidating.

So, I asked your mom to copy this diagram for me,

and this is what she drew.

Sometimes, inner life and imagination

can be awakened by illness.

It's clear that this disease has unlocked something in your mom.

Where most people see a box, she sees so much more.

We appreciate the sentiment. Really, we do.

And we certainly don't want to take away your joy, mom,

but we can't support a decision that will kill you.

It feels like you're... you're choosing your sex life

- over everything else. - We still need you.

It isn't just for us. It's for your grandkids, too.

Okay, you can start the treatment.

I'll do anything to get better for my boys.

We're going to take good care of you, mom.

Patrick and I were talking. I want you to come live with me.

The girls are all excited to have grandma with us.

Cool. You're doing the facial nerve branches?

Which I somehow cannot commit to memory.

I like a mnemonic.

To Zanzibar by motor car.

Temporal. Zygomatic. Buccal.

Marginal mandibular and cervical.

Thanks.

God. This is embarrassing.

I should be tutoring you.

My lack of a social life means a lot of time

spent alone with medical journals.

Also, I dissected my first cadaver when I was 14.

- Come on. - No. I'm serious.

Well, I'm very impressed.

You're very impressive.

So are you.

June is in an impossible position.

She's sacrificing her own desires

for the good of her kids, and...

Are you even listening to me?

No.

I just found out

that I've been treating...

The woman who slept with Morris...

- And ruined my marriage. - What?

She's been a patient for a couple of months.

I had no idea.

I actually liked her.

I was rooting for her.

And then she said something one day that made me suspicious,

- and so I did some digging. - Well, obviously.

Anybody in your position would do the same.

Honestly, I don't know whether to throw up or scream.

For eight sessions,

she's been telling me how much she misses her ex

and all the things that they've done together.

I really thought I had some clarity

on where things stood with Morris, but

I really don't think I can look him in the eye again.

June's husband cheated on her repeatedly for years.

She's 80, and she's just now finding herself, Carol.

I don't want that for you.

Neither do I.

And yet, I wish I'd never looked at his phone that night,

but it was late, and the buzzing woke me up.

Maya was at a sleepover, and I worried something was wrong,

so I checked his phone,

and there were all these messages.

I woke him up right then and there.

It's a good thing Maya wasn't there to see me go off.

He swore.

He swore they'd only slept together one time.

But if that were true,

why would that woman be in my office

crying for the last two months?

She's hardly a reliable narrator, Carol.

She sought you out as her therapist

when she knew she was sleeping with your husband.

That is extreme behavior.

She clearly needs help. Just from somebody else.

I already have a reference lined up.

If there's one thing I do know, it's setting boundaries.

Can we get custodial to third-floor nurse's station?

Custodial to third-floor nurse's station.

- Dr. Nichols. - Dr. Landon.

About what happened earlier, I

who my son chooses to be involved with

is none of my business.

Just

don't hurt him.

Good morning, June.

Is it?

I know you're going to tell me

that the antibiotics are working,

but I just feel numb.

It appears the medication is also eradicating

your hypersexuality.

You know, there are other alternatives,

medications that can help your sex drive.

I'm going to be living with my son and his family.

No freedom, no independence.

No need for alternatives.

Dr. Ross to imaging.

Dr. Ross... imaging.

Did something happen? Is our mom okay?

It depends on what you consider okay.

When is the last time you saw her?

Early this morning.

She seemed a little quiet, maybe. Tired.

It's not exhaustion, it's despair.

Her brain is getting better, but her state of mind is declining.

I asked her to copy that diagram again.

The neurosyphilis is getting better

and the hypersexuality is going away,

but so is her spark.

Look, I have spent my entire career

helping patients adapt to their conditions,

but your mom doesn't want that.

She wants a life of her own.

Okay. So she doesn't want to live with us.

And she wants to still want to have sex.

You wouldn't listen to me the first time.

I'm asking you to listen to me now.

In addition to her treatment,

I can put her on libido-enhancing meds

and hormone therapy to preserve her sex drive.

It means you will likely have a mom

who brings new boyfriends to family dinners

and over shares about her sex life every chance she gets,

a different person than the woman who raised you,

but no matter how uncomfortable that makes you feel,

I'm asking you to support her, not shame her.

I'm asking you to adapt.

You can help save the part of your mom

that makes her feel alive,

and let her live out her golden years on her terms.

Okay, doc, yeah. You win.

Yeah, we'll do it.

Maybe we should lock the door this time.

I can only handle my mother walking in on me so many times.

Actually, I was hoping we could talk.

These last few days, this thing, it's been a lot of fun,

but we've all been a little impulsive after losing patients,

and losing Roman was especially hard.

We were feeling the grief, and we both needed a pick-me-up.

But I-I just think it's best if we cut our losses,

you know, kept things professional.

Okay.

O-O-Okay?

Yeah. I mean, you made your case, and you're right.

Misplaced grief. That's all this is.

Finally, we agree on something.

Just

try not to be weird when you run into me.

I'll do my best.

We've been seeing each other every week now for two months.

It's the highlight of my week.

Your progress, while steady,

could be accelerated in a different environment.

I think there's another psychiatrist

that would be better suited to help you.

Please, Dr. Pierce.

Please... please don't give up on me.

I've already seen three therapists.

You're the only one I can talk to.

- Alison... - I need you.

If I lose you.

I don't know what I'll do.

O-Okay.

Okay. Let's keep trying.

Flibanserin will increase your libido,

and it will reduce your distress about your sexual desires.

We've also referred you to a wonderful gp

to discuss hormone therapy.

And here's a little something

for when you want some alone time.

I hear you'll have plenty of space

at your new, fancy retirement community.

The meds are going to help you feel like yourself again.

And I don't mean the June of yesteryear,

I mean the June who walked into this hospital

with a twinkle in her eye.

You know, after a certain age, women begin to feel invisible.

But you made me feel anything but.

Thank you, Dr. Wolf.

June.

Lou, Walt, what are you doing here?

We had to see about our best girl.

We usually see any disease as inherently bad,

a problem to fix.

But in June's case, illness was also wellness.

It opened up a part of her she'd buried a long time ago.

Here's to being women who aren't afraid

to get their needs met.

Sometimes it's hard to tell other people what we want.

Sometimes it's even harder to tell ourselves.

Desire is a complicated emotion.

It can lead to the highest highs

and the lowest lows.

All we can do is savor the peaks

and tolerate the valleys.

Morning.

Where's Tom?

He left early this morning.

He... he doesn't have class this morning.

Not for school.

He's on a plane.

Heading back to London.

He went home?

Why?

Mom.

Sit down. Eat.

Before your eggs get cold.

What did you say to Dr. Nichols?

Nothing that concerns you.

- I don't believe you. - Why didn't you talk to me?

I'm not the one insisting on this cold war.

That's all you.

When I was younger,

you sent Tom away, the Oxford exchange student.

What... w-w-what about him?

I woke up one morning, and he was gone.

The day after you caught us kissing.

Oliver, what is this about?

You made me feel like I did something wrong,

like there was something wrong with me.

I sent Tom home because it was inappropriate.

I was 18. He was 21.

He was at a completely different stage of his life.

You were confused and still grieving your father.

Then why didn't you say that?

Because by saying nothing, you implied

that there was something about me that you didn't like.

I felt rejected for years.

I didn't say anything,

or ask anything because I.

I didn't want to know.

It was a very different time.

I was a doctor in New York City in the 1990s.

And I had seen so much pain and suffering and death.

And I was scared for you.

I didn't know how to talk to you.

Your father was always better at that than I was.

You are my mother.

After everything we had been through with him,

why couldn't you see that I was finally happy again?

You just ripped that away from me.

I'm sorry.

I was just trying to protect you.

I didn't need protection.

I needed love.

- Hey. - Hey.

W-What... are you okay?

Yeah, you're, elevator broke again.

Thanks.

So they didn't have pea shoots,

so I got the garlic cucumber,

and, I thought we'd start with "episode iv"

because the originals are way better than the prequels.

Am I missing something?

No.

I just thought... Life is short and... Screw it.

Wait. I thought you said you had feelings for Jacob.

Yeah, don't... don't answer that.

Dr. Bowen, call 3-3-1. Dr. Bowen, 3-3-1.

Hey.

This...

This isn't about grief for me.

And I don't think it's about grief for you, either.

We are doctors. We assess risk every day.

We help patients and families make impossible decisions.

We don't subscribe to leaps of faith.

So I'd say our odds are 50/50,

and pain is inevitable, but so is joy.

And if this thing does implode, then we'll find a way to adapt.

But I don't want to end something

before it's even had a chance to begin.

I want to try.

I'd say our odds are more like 60/40.

But you've proven me wrong before.