All language subtitles for Acting Good s03e05 Bitterns vs Butterns.eng

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Original subtitles

(Roger�Laughingstick�narrating)

Mn'ehh.

Mn'ehh.

?�Yes�I�can love�you�baby�?

?�All�night�long�?

(People�chattering)

Man:�Alright.�So,�that's why�we're�trying

to�be�more�inclusive.

So,�Chuck�shes.�Chuck�theys.�Mm?

Makes�sense,�right?

Oh!�Hey,�Chief�Jo!

You�got�something�on�your�shirt.

Nice�try,�Ernie.

That's�my�medallion!

Maybe�your�eyes�are�going bad�in�your�old�age,�mn'ehh.

(laughing)

Oh!�Yeah.�It's,�uh--

I�see�it's�a�duck�taking�a shit�by�the�campfire.

Real�majestic.�(chuckling)

Oh,�oh,�I�have�to�take�an important�phone�call.

Hello?�(laughing) Prime�minister.

Oh,�yeah.�Sorry,�guys.

I�just�have�to�take�this very,�very�important�call.

Yeah.�No.�The�memorandum�of understanding.

Bye.

Jo.

(sniffing)

Fok!�They�put�us right�by�the�shitter!

Ugh.�Nobody wants�bathroom�bannock.

It's�the�perfect�spot�for a�bunch�of�shitty�losers!

-�(Paul�growling) -�Both:�Butterns.

Paul,�you�know, I�just�can't�tell

if�your�table's�too�small or�if�you're�too�big!

You�know�for�a�fact�that that�table�is�way�too�small!

Yeah.�Paul�hasn't�lost any�weight,

so�he's�just as�big�as�ever.

(laughing)�Good burn,�b'eb.

Rose:�Just�wait�till�everyone gets�a�whiff�of�this.

People�will�be�drifting�in�on clouds�of�bannock�stink.

Already�ahead�of�you.

(fan�whirring)

Hi!�Oh!

(laughing)�How�many would�you�like?

Two?�Okay.

There!�(sighing)

Give�me�your�biggest beaded�medallion.

Mm.�How�about this�one?

-�Bigger. -�Bigger?�Huh.

Okay,�but you�asked�for�it.

?

Tsk.�Look�at this�Buttern�over�here.

Hey,�Buttern.

Pump�up�the�jam.

?�I�can't�believe�?

?�My�fucking�eyes�?

?�I�want to�shack�up�?

?�With�you�?

What�was�that?

?�Fuck�?

Uh...�I�said,

hey,�Buttern,

you�got�any�bread�for that�Buttern�or...

Good�one...�I�guess.

Uh...�hey,�Buttern,

did�your�butt�get�burned�and then�you�put�it�in�an�urn?

Ouch.�I'm�burning up�over�here.

Uh...

?

Okay,�sir. One�bannock�for�you.

It�tastes�real�deadly�with some�of�our�raisin�jam.

I'm�good,�man.

Raisins�don't�spread.

Yeah,�they�do!�Watch!

(grunting)

(grunting)

-�(grunting) -�(snapping)

Customer: It's�okay,

Bought�some�Buttern jam�earlier.

(gasping)�Get�that away�from�our�bannock.

That�devil-paste will�turn�you�into�a�liar!

Give�our bannock�back.

You�ruined�it�with your�dirty�jam�hands.

Bad�customer!�Bad!

Now,�go�find�a�place to�lay�down�somewhere!

Real�mature, Bitterns.

(Paul�chuckling)

Female�voice: Rose...

Amawishin.

Can�you believe�this?

(chuckling) Yeah.�Crazy.

(laughing)

Uh--�(clearing�throat)�I gotta�go...�use�the�bathroom.

Hey,�Jo.

Ho'leh!

(laughing)

Hey,�everyone!

Hey,�come�here. Look�at�this.

After�we�made�fun�of�Jo's�tiny medallion�over�there,

she�went�out�and�bought�a bigger�one!�(laughing)

Oh!�Oh!�This old�thing?

I--�I�forgot�I�had another�one.�(laughing)

It�looks�like it�hurts�your�neck.

(Ernie�laughing)

No.�Nope.�Nope. I�just�slept�wrong.

Why�don't�we move�this�along?

And�let's�go take�our�seats!

This�thing�looks�like�it's the�size�of�a�satellite�dish.

Okay.�At�this�time,

we�should get�started.

Hey,�good�idea,

unless�Jo's�mighty huge�medallion

has�any�objections!

Mn'ehh.

(Ernie�laughing)

Serena:�Do�you�always dress�like�a�checkerboard?

Yeah.�Good one,�Butt-burn.

Speaking�of�butts,

does�this�costume makes�mine�look�big?

Yeah.�I�don't�think�it needs�any�help.

You�know,�we don't�have�to�do

this�whole�Bittern-Buttern thing,�hey?

Bonnie:�Hey!�You�get�away from�that�Bittern�kid!

She'll�give�you�nits.

I�was�just�telling�her�to�get her�ass�back�to�Grouse�Lake.

Yeah,�Then I�said,�"Sure.

Anything�to�get�away�from moo-breath�over�here."

(scoffing)�You�tell that�Grouse�Laker

that�they�all have�scabby�lips!

Oh,�yeah.�I�said that�twice�already.

Good.�Okay. Carry�on.

Hey,�want to�take�off?

Yeah.�Fuck�this�place.

There�you�are!

What�took you�so�long?

Uh,�pregnant�lady�poops.

I�hears�thats.

Wait�a�minute.

You're�lying.

-�What? -�But�you�never�lie�to�me!

Uh,�yeah,�I�do.

Wait�a�minute.

(sniffing)

You�ate�the�jam!

Fine.

How�could�you lie�to�me,�Rose?

When�I�ate�it,

I�entered the�spirit�world.

You�see�what�the jam�does?

It�makes�you all�crazy!

You're�going�right�where you�belong,�the�trash!

Female�voice: Paul...

Amawishin.

(grunting)

Fok'n�sweet!

Did�you�taste the�jar�of�jam?

Uh,�no!

You�did.�You tasted�it.

-�No!�I�swear!�I-- -�Shut�up.

You�ate�the�lie-jam.

Did�it�tell�you�to burn�things?

What?�No!

Mine�didn't�do that�either.

So,�what�do you�think�it�wants?

I'm�no�jam-ologist,

but�I�think�it�wants us�to�eat�more!

-�Let's�pump�up�the�jam. -�Mmm.

(chattering)

Welcome�to�the�Eastside�Chiefs Organization�Conference.

To�start,�we'll�discuss economic�development,

and�at�this�time,�I'd�like�to introduce�our�leaders.

With�me�is�Chief Jo�from�Grouse�Lake...

(people�applauding)

...Chief�Ernie�from Greater�Grouse�Lake...

(people�applauding, cheering)

...Chief�Maureen�from Big�Grand�Rapids,

Chief�Morris�from�Tiny Grand�Rapids,

and�myself,�Chief�Sonya from�Totally�Normal�Rapids.

Let's�start�with�opening�remarks from�Chief�Ernie.

-�(Ernie�chuckling) -�(people�applauding)

Thank�you.�Miigwetch.

(chuckling) Boozhoo.�Aniin.

Oh.�Tansii.

It�is�with great�honour

that�I�am�here�with�my fellow�leaders,

my�brothers,�my sisters,

and�Jo.

The�fok?

We�have�travelled�great distances�to�be�here,

but�my�journey�was�perhaps�the most�difficult�of�all.

I�was�offered�a�free upgrade�at�the�airport,

but�I�thought�of my�people,

and�I�said�no!

I�chose the�middle�seat,

because...�(choking�up) ...humility...

is�the�mark�of�a great�leader.

(people�murmuring)

(thumping)

(audience thumping�tables)

Chief�Jo?

Jo:�Niin�Jo.

My�journey was�also�not�easy.

When�I�first�got�here,�my room�wasn't�even�ready.

I�was�forced�to�sit in�the�lobby�and�wait

while�they�made up�my�room!

(thumping)

For�my�troubles, I�was�offered

a--�a�suite�with a�fancier�coffeemaker.

You�know,�the�ones with�the�little�pods.

But�I�turned�it�down

in�favour�of a�simpler�coffeemaker.

(thumping)

But�I�knew...

(choking�up)�...that�some of�my�people�never�had�coffee,

and�I�knew�that some�of�them

would�appreciate

my�strong�humility.

(clearing�throat) Coffee-making-wise.

(Ernie�slurping)

Sonya:�Miiigwetch,�Okemow�Jo.

Ugh.�These�conferences are�the�worst.

Yeah.�They--�They�totally suck�in�every�way�possible.

I�mean, they�can�be�fun.

You�get�to�meet�cool�people from�different�reserves.

Yeah.�No. You're�right.

They're�the�greatest. I�love�them.

You�know what�else�I�hate?

Yeah.�I--�I�probably hate�it,�too.

Being�a jam�mascot.

Same,�man.

I�hate�it.

No�way.�You're a�jam�mascot,�too?

Yeah,�big�time. Raspberry.

So�you're�a�jam�mascot and�the�daughter�of�a�chief.

Yeah,�right?

It's�crazy�how�much�we have�in�common.

Now,�you're�going to�tell�me�that�you�have

an�ASMR channel,�too.

Yeah.�I'm-- I'm�down�with�AMSRT.

Oh,�that's�cute.

You�have�no�idea what�it�is.

Is�that�that whispering�thing?

It's�more�than�that.

It�helps�people�relax and�get�to�sleep.

It's�like�a�tingly brain�massage.

The�fuck�is�that?

It's�a�microphone.

Close�your�eyes.

(whispering) Hello.

Hello.�Hello.

Psst.�Psst.

(aloud) I�said�close�your�eyes.

Right.�Right.�Sorry.

(whispering) Chickadee.

Chickadee.

Bonnie,�Bonnie.

You�know�what?�I�think�we�all got�off�on�the�wrong�foot.

Rose:�Yeah. You're�not�a�mascootch.

In�fact,�I'm�the�one�that's a�mascootch!�(laughing)

What�do�you Bitterns�want?

Maybe�we�should�come�together like�Hobbs�and�Shaw,

like�Kong and�Godzilla,

your�jam and�our�bannock.

You're�crazy!

I'm�not�actually a�Bittern.

So,�uh,�just�putting that�out�there.

-�You�could�give�me�some. -�Rose!

Neither�of�you are�going�to�get�shit.

Um. (clearing�throat)

This�is�everything that�we�made�today.

Just�give�us�one little,�simple�jar.

-�Just�a�taste! -�Rose:�Yeah.

Nothing�needs to�get�burned.

Your�Bittern�money�ain't no�good�here.

You�know�what? At�first,

I�felt�bad�for�calling�the health�inspector�on�you,

but�you�know�what? I'm�glad�I�did!

You�what?

-�There�he�is�right�now. -�Bonnie:�Oh!

Is�this�the Buttern�jam�booth?

Paul: Yes,�it�is,

and�look�how�filthy everything�is!

It�actually�looks fine�to�me,

but�whose�booth�is�that, so�close�to�the�bathroom?

Ernie:�And�so, in�conclusion,

investing�in�wind�turbines will�provide�jobs

and�allow�us�as�a�people to�harness�the�power...

(inhaling)

...of�the�wind.

(exhaling)

Aho.

Mn'ehh.

Chief�Jo,�is�there something�you�want�to�say

about�Chief�Ernie's�wind turbine�idea?

One�sec.

You,�uh,�sure�we�need any�more�wind�turbines?

Seems�we got�enough�wind

coming�out�of�Chief Ernie's�mouth�over�there.

Audience�members: Oh.

Mn'ehh. (chuckling)

Just�teasing!

It's�traditional!

Lateral�violence,

while�sadly�too�common in�our�communities,

is�not�traditional!

You�call�that lateral�violence?

Lateral�violence would�be�me�saying,

"You�had�way�too�many Danishes�at�that�table."

Ho'leh.�We're�here�for the�economic�development,

not�the�Danish baking�industry.

(audience member�gasping)

This�is�why�nobody likes�you�guys!

Okay!�At�this�time,�I'm�going�to ask�everyone�to�cool�down.

-�He�started�it! -�No,�I�never!

Scot'apin! Let's�take�five�minutes.

(grunting)

(chattering)

(Serena�hissing)

(whispering) Puh,�puh,�puh.

Ever.�Sick.�Ever.�Sick.

Weenuk.

Weenuk.

Mn'ehh.�Mn'ehh.

(aloud) So?�Feel�any�tingles?

I�think I�fell�asleep.

I�love�you--�It.

I�love�it.

-�Thanks.�(chuckling) -�Uh...

You�should�subscribe to�my�channel.

Yeah,�um, if�I�have�time.

I�work�a�lot.

What�do�you�do?

Right�now? I'm�in�summer�school.

-�Oh,�yeah? -�Yeah.

Uh,�for work,�though,

I�take�care�of disadvantaged�kids.

One�of�them�is�40.

(door�opening)

Hide!

(footsteps�going�by)

(whispering) I�thought�I�saw�a�Buttern.

(whispering) I�see�one�now.

-�(aloud)�Oh,�yeah? -�Yeah.

What�do�you�think?

Chickadee�(whispering): I�like�it.

A�lot.

?

Huh.

That�a�bad�"huh"�or a�good�"huh"?

It�sounds�like�a�good�"huh."

Well,�we�don't�like�to�say things�are�good�or�bad,

but�the�selling�of�food�within five�feet�of�a�bathroom�facility

is�prohibited�by�the�Manitoba Safe�Foods�Act�of�1983.

Wait.�What�are you�trying�to�say,�bro?

Your�food's�too�close to�the�shitter.

(sighing)�Straight to�the�trash.

Female�voice: Amawishin.

Fok'n�fluffy!

(music�playing)

-�Hey! -�(music�grinding�to�a�stop)

Oh.

-�She�stole�our�bannock! -�Ah!

Not�only�will�the�wind turbines�provide�us�with...

(whispering) Hey.�Psst.

Nobody�likes�me?

-�Nobody�likes�you. -�(Ernie�grumbling)

Sonya:�...reduced�compared to�traditional�methods...

Mascootch.

You're�a�mascootch. That's�you.

Constructing�the�wind turbines�would�allow�us...

(sniffing)�Oh,�you smell�that?

It�smells�like�piss.

Or�is�that�just�because you're�a�wiizii'geewan'nakinth.

Also�sell�excess�power back�to�the�government.

-�You're�pissy. -�You�probably�can't�even�smell

the�piss�because�you're so�pissy!

Sonya:�At�this�time,�I�have to�ask�you�both�to�stop.

(nasally)�At�this time,�I�must�ask�you

to�try�a different�phrase.

(murmuring)

This�is�hardly chief�behaviour!

Yeah,�Jo!

You,�too,�Ernie!

Both�of�you�are�acting like�children!

She�called�me�fat!

He�made�fun of�my�medallion!

That's�it!

At�this�time,

both�of�you�can get�out!

After�you, pleather�mukluks!

Okay.�Mr.�Drops�His�.22 In�the�Muskeg!

Jo:�Poor�babies!�Couldn't hack�it,

so�you�packed�up your�mamas�and�left!

Ah,�shut�up!

-�Bonnie? -�Bonnie:�Oh!

She�stole our�bannock!

Bonnie,�what�are�you doing�with�devil's�food?

It's�just�so�good!

I�can't�help�it!

That�filth has�made�you�a�liar!

Just�give�it�back!

The�fok? This�is�total�chaos.

-�I�love�it. -�I�think�I�know�what�to�do.

Well,�you�better�hurry.�My�mom's got�your�dad�in�a�headlock.

Say�uncle!

Never! (grunting)

Just�let�me�have�it!

Just--�just one�more�bite.

Drop�the�bannock, or�the�jam�gets�it.

It's�got�so�much more�life�to�live!

(whispering) Hello.

(people�murmuring)

Hello.�Hello.

-�(people�murmuring) -�Hello.

Chickadee,�get�away from�that�Buttern!

You�want�to�get nits�or�what?

This�isn't�the�place�for�you. The�adults�are�talking.

-�Shh.�Shh.�Shh. -�(murmurs�quieting)

Why�does�my head�feel�like�this?

Aniin.�Aniin.

-�I�feel�so�calm... -�Serena:�Aniin.�Aniin.

...and�yet�so�annoyed�at the�same�time.

Serena: Aniin.�Aniin.

I�want�it�to stop�because�it's�dumb.

-�Serena:�Shh. -�But�I�also�feel�calm.

-�This�is�stupid. -�Serena:�Maanoo.

-�Right? -�Serena:�Shh.

Yes,�it�is,�but�somehow I�feel...

less�angry.

(aloud) Chickadee,�it's�working.

-�You�did�it! -�(giggling)

Jo:�Can�I�borrow this�fucked-up�little�mic?

Of�course.�Yes,�ma'am.

Jo: Ah.

Everyone,�you�know, I�will�admit,

things�got�out of�control,

and�for�that,�I apologize.

But�I�just want�to�say,

if�we�can't�put our�differences�aside,

we're�no�better�than our�kids.

I'm�better.

But�Jo,�she�stole our�bannock!

But�Ernie,�they took�our�jam!

(Jo�sighing)

Alone,�the�bannock

is�just�bannock,

and�alone, jam�is�just�jam.

But�if�we�put�those�two things�together,

amazing�things can�happen.

(Paul�chuckling softly)

Bonnie,�would�you�like

to�dip�my�bannock into�your�jam?

Uh,�as�weird as�that�sounds,

you�bet.

Ah.

Bonnie: Oh!

Oh!�Fok,�that's�good!

(grunting)

er�Laughingstick�narrating)

?�Hey�I'm�built�like�bannock�?

?�Don't�take�long�now to�understand�it�?

?�I,�I'm�built�like�bannock�?

?�I�got�the�bread�?

?�No�need�to�panic�?

?�Hey�I'm�built�like�bannock�?

?�Don't�take�long�now to�understand�it�?

?�Wow�I'm�built�like�bannock�?

?�I�got�the�bread�?

?�No�need�to�panic�?

?�Whoa�jah�?

?�So�fresh�?

?�I'm�big�and�round�?

?�Make�that�booty�go touch�the�ground�?

?�So�crispy�?

?�Lookin'�like�gold�?

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